Both/And Thinking: Embracing Creative Tensions to Solve Your Toughest Problems

by Marianne Lewis

Life is full of paradoxes. How can we each express our individuality while also being a team player? How do we balance work and life? How can we improve diversity while promoting opportunities for all? How can we manage the core business while innovating for the future?

For many of us, these competing and interwoven demands are a source of conflict. Since our brains love to make either-or choices, we choose one option over the other. We deal with the uncertainty by asserting certainty.

There's a better way.

In Both/And Thinking , Wendy Smith and Marianne Lewis help listeners cope with multiple, knotted tensions at the same time. Drawing from more than twenty years of pioneering research, they provide tools and lessons for transforming these tensions into opportunities for innovation and personal growth.

Filled with practical advice and fascinating stories--including firsthand tales from IBM, LEGO, and Unilever, as well as from startups, nonprofits, and even an inn at one of the four corners of the world-- Both/And Thinking will change the way you approach your most vexing problems.

Genres: Nonfiction, Business, Psychology, Leadership, Self Help, Personal Development, Teaching

1 pages, Audio CD

Published August 16, 2022

Reviews

[Zoë Routh · Rating 4 out of 5]

was hoping for more

I marked this 3.5 and rounded up. Many cases were not original and have been quoted often (not seeing the man in a gorilla suit while counting passes of a ball). I think Barry Johnson’s Polarities is a better process than what they have offered. They even include Johnson’s work throughout.

I didn’t mark it lower because it is well researched and the stories are useful examples. A decent start for both/and complex thinking if you haven’t explored that previously.

[Tisa · Rating 3 out of 5]

This book is an interesting study in mental flexibility and inclusionary thinking. I found it to be filled with valuable skills. The pace is a bit slow, but worth the read.

[Liz · Rating 1 out of 5]

This book is heavy on vague words used in business school settings. It claims that in cases where you cannot “have it all” you should think more inclusively, but it mostly just describes the problems and doesn’t actually provide any solutions (but keeps on repeatedly *saying* their solutions are so great). It was a frustrating read until I decided to give up.

[Louise Foerster · Rating 5 out of 5]

BOTH/AND THINKING changed how I think about thinking. No exaggeration. From the first chapters and discussion of paradox, convergent versus divergent thinking, Wendy Smith and Marianne Lewis enchanted, entertained, and brought to vivid life the possibilities that come when we pause to think about the potential between alternatives. I advanced from swift, decisive, smart decision making between two alternatives to pausing for other options drawing from both. As writer, parent, partner, friend, and citizen of the world, I am wiser and calmer in the face of chaos; what used to feel like impossible dilemmas now offer fascinating insights and opportunities. Accessible, practical, and action-oriented, BOTH/AND THINKING provides smart, deep expertise we can put to immediate use. I received an early copy of this book and these opinions are my own, unbiased thoughts.

[Bert Heymans · Rating 1 out of 5]

Don't waste your time.

I read about halfway in detail and went on to read parts of the practical chapters. This is a bad book for me with no new ideas, selling a message that's unclear at best. The paradox framework is packaged in boring stories that failed to engage me. I think this book was heavily inspired by other books that use a similar approach based on stories and observations, but this book fumbles. I'd rather read an Annie Duke book if I'd want to learn about decisions and for good inspirational stories I'd rather go for a Dan and Chip Heath book, or something by Malcolm Gladwell.

[Dolly · Rating 5 out of 5]

Paradox scholars Wendy Smith and Marianne Lewis offer a liberating take based on their research on “paradox mindset.” With both stories and science, they give us a path out of our mind's craving for consistency. Highly recommend!

[Kiona Meade · Rating 5 out of 5]

I think this book may have changed my life. It has certainly improved how I think about problems and problem-solving is one of my favorite things to do. I appreciated the many real-world examples backed up by references to the authors’ lives, research, and other books (some I’ve read, others I haven’t). There are some great exercises and tools to tackle paradoxes - the main “problem” in the book.

I will say the flow of the book started to get very difficult to me in the second half and the references to prior chapters was a bit unnecessary. While this usually affects my rating, I think the content is overwhelmingly beneficial, so it has not had an effect on this one.

[Brittany · Rating 3 out of 5]

This book wasn’t bad per se, but I’m not sure how useful it really is (maybe it resonates more with people who struggle with catastrophizing? IDK). The whole idea that “the problem is not the problem, the problem is how we think about the problem” is kind of absurdly funny—maybe true in a very specific context, but otherwise it just feels like the kind of line that would elicit blank stares. The whole spiel about how amazing and empowering Netflix is for offering unlimited PTO is pretty wild, especially given what we actually know about how unlimited PTO tends to play out.

[Rod Naquin · Rating 5 out of 5]

Totally one of my fav books I read this year!!! The theoretical bits at the jump that frame paradoxes as unavoidable features of our human existence, dilemmas and tensions as overlays to those—really affected my thinking. And the practical, corporate examples beyond that are also illustrative and helpful

[Kim · Rating 5 out of 5]

Fantastic book with a great balance of stories, philosophy/science, and implementation tools. Felt like I came away a better equipped thinker.

[Kristy W · Rating 5 out of 5]

While this book is written by business school professors, the language and narratives are accessible to the non-business minded. I found myself sucked in by the story of Fogo Island and how they were going to solve their dilemma by identifying the underlying paradox (plus now I need to go there to see it for myself). I can see how with some practice, I can use this kind of both/and thinking to get to the root of my challenging decisions and solve them in a new way. I appreciate the perspective. (thanks to the authors for my ARC!)

[Paul · Rating 4 out of 5]

This is nicely done. With stories, examples, charts, summaries, and context, this does a nice job of explaining the authors' ideas and approaches. With a little imagination, anyone can use these ideas to there benefit, although since it seems like the target audience is (business) leaders, I felt like the content wasn't directly relevant to me (non-leader). Nonetheless, the content is solid and generally actionable.

Thanks very much for the free ARC for review!!

[Stephanie · Rating 4 out of 5]

Business leaders will find this book of interest and it can expand their thinking and their problem solving skills by allowing them to consider and apply different methods of thinking and consideration.

Thanks to NetGalley and the publisher for an advance copy in exchange for an honest opinion.

[Adam · Rating 4 out of 5]

A little different than I was expecting and a little more involved than I thought it needed to be. But, the insights and framework are top-notch and I think very helpful especially for managers to understand. Basically, the idea is that a paradox is any two items or ideas that have to exist in the same realm, but are contradictory (ie Lego's fabulous 11 paradoxes to management). These scholars then have figured out the framework to navigating paradoxes so they don't hold you back in your organization and are efficiently maximized for their best value. They have a great model of a 2x2 grid that shows the infinity symbol flow of paradox poles and they have a number of analogies (rabbit holes, guard rails, trench warfare, mules, and tight-rope walking) to help navigate a potentially complex issue. One of my favorite nuggets is that the time to start looking into and working toward 'swinging' or 'shifting' toward the other pole or questioning your love of your current pole is the moment you have reached where you are fully invested and set to reaping the benefits of your current pole. If you wait any longer then it will take too long, be demotivating, and take a more resources to build momentum to discover how to swing back. Basically, take advantage of the positive mental momentum of success to start exploring the other side.

This book provides a fabulous perspective that isn't too narrow nor wide so that you can effectively identify, navigate, and magnify positive aspects to paradox tensions in work (and somewhat in personal life, etc). I recognized how my own job has a history of following this model between two poles and how much of my religion also naturally builds on this idea. The writing is a little obtuse at times and slightly long winded, but still an effective framework to implement immediately.

[Stefan Oana]

A paradox occurs when different elements of a situation are in tension with each other. As you’ll learn in this very short Blink, this tension can actually be productive – and even make your organization more successful.

Let’s get acquainted with two methods for approaching paradox:
the way of the mule and the way of the tightrope walker.
Whether you want to try breeding a mule, walking a tightrope, or just freestyling in the face of paradox, always remember the ABCs – and D! – of embracing a paradox mindset.

A is for assumptions – more accurately, challenging assumptions. Facts are facts, but truths can be different for everyone. Recognizing that different truths can coexist is a key pathway into both/and thinking.

B is for boundaries. You shouldn’t embrace tension purely for the sake of it. What’s your mission statement? Where do your limits lie? What are your must-haves and your deal-breakers? Questions like these will help you set the boundaries you need to engage with tension in a sustainable way.

C stands for comfort. Paradoxes breed uncomfortable feelings. Accept discomfort when it arises. And try to lean into the positives of uncertainty – excitement, potential, and wonder.

And D? That’s for dynamism. Both/and is a mindset, not a one-off strategy. Ensure you’re constantly tweaking your patterns, seeking feedback on your actions, and letting go of assumptions that no longer feel fresh.

Ever heard of serendipity? Think of it as “planned luck” – when you have the nous to turn a seemingly random event into a desirable outcome. Alexander Fleming was working on an influenza cure when penicillin sprouted in his lab. That’s luck. The fact that Fleming saw the penicillin’s potential? That’s serendipity.

[David · Rating 5 out of 5]

This is one of those paradigm-shifting books.

While it is written by academics, it is a very accessible and practical handbook.

It explores 4 underlying paradoxes behind either/or thinking and suggests ways to shift to both/and results:
1. Performing paradoxes: Tensions of outcomes - Why?
2. Learning paradoxes: Tensions of time - When?
3. Belonging paradoxes: Tensions of identity - Who?
4. Organizing paradoxes: Tensions of processes - How?

This book is filled with case studies from the business world and presents strategies for resolving tensions in individual decisions, interpersonal relationships and organizational leadership.

The paradox system consists of 4 parts:
1. Shifting to both/and ASSUMPTIONS
2. Creating BOUNDARIES to contain tensions
3. Finding COMFORT in the discomfort
4. Enabling DYNAMICS that unleash tensions

[Kat's Bookshelf · Rating 3 out of 5]

This book is just a spin on paradoxical thinking. If you're new to the idea, this book wouldn't be a bad place to start, but there's nothing particularly new or innovative about it. It starts out with some interesting stories/case studies, but somewhere along the way, the book moves away from these examples into just explaining what feels like the same thing over and over again. The narration was a little weird too. It's written somewhat in the first person, but since it is co-authored, the voice changes. They make it clear who's doing the talking, but I found it distracting. I think if the information were a little more creatively presented or if there were some new ideas, it would have bothered me less.

[Stacy · Rating 2 out of 5]

I appreciate that the authors pulled together relevant information and presented strategies.
I would like to see an edit that accounts for privilege in the case studies. For example: how much of the Gore pool story is about initiative versus access to resources (money, friends with knowledge and time to help, advanced education, etc)? Similarly, how much of the motorcycle company’s initial failure was shored up by their vast financial resources, and what’s the likelihood that a poorer company would have survived their same paradox? Those are just two examples of privilege, ableism, and elitism not addressed as part of the success stories regarding dealing with paradox.

[Yanal · Rating 2 out of 5]

Blinks:
Contemporary life is full of conflicting choices. When faced with these choices, our brains revert to either/or thinking: we view conflicting choices as dilemmas, where one option must be pursued at the expense of the other. But we can learn to delve deeper into our dilemmas and embrace the paradoxes that underpin them.
1. Use simple techniques to train a both/and mindset. Find ways to create a win-win situation when stuck in a dilemma.
2. Market-leading organizations embrace paradox.

[Jennifer Stencel · Rating 3 out of 5]

Notes- liked the preparing before the down fall of the S curve - the life cycle is starting to age, by correcting.
Four types of paradoxes:
1 performance (the why)- work and life, mission and market
2. Learning (the when)- short and long term, stability and change, traditional and modern.
3. Organizing (the how), control and flexibility l, emerge and plan,
4. Belonging (the who), local and global, we and they, insider and outside

[Hank · Rating 2 out of 5]

Though the label is a bit awkward, I like the basic idea of this book. However I didn’t find this book a particularly useful exposition. Examples came off mostly as a corpóreo-academic hype fest and while I like the conceptualizarían of conflict as a “paradox” by the conclusion of the book the term felt more like a bludgeon. Extraordinarily pompous tone of audiobook narrator (which may or may not be appropriate to the authors) did not help.

[Brittany Neish · Rating 5 out of 5]

A great read for anyone looking to move past binary thinking and start exploring the beauty that can be found in a both/and philosophy! This book has already shifted my mindset and vocabulary in everyday conversations. It’s challenging me to move beyond my tendency to get locked in an either/or choice and instead seek out better alternatives. One I know I will revisit again.

[Catrina Berka · Rating 3 out of 5]

This book explores paradox through the lens of academic research and business case studies. The kindle version has lots of errors and weird renderings that make the illustrations and tables illegible. That irritation aside, the crux of the book is that we need to embrace paradox and practice both/and solutions rather than either/or ones, but the practical implications and suggestions are thin.

[Robert Nelson · Rating 4 out of 5]

This is a good book to help one learn how to think differently about solving complex problems or paradoxes within organizations. From my perspective, it is an expansion of Stephen Covey's Seven Habits if Highly Effective People, habit four: "think win-win" or more clearly, win-win or no deal. If you are a leader, you will get a few helpful tips on ways to become a both/and organization.

[Bonnie · Rating 5 out of 5]

The key is to break free from your "either/or" limitations and explore the potential of holding seemingly opposing ideas simultaneously. And only after brainstorming a hybrid solution. We can evolve to navigate through the multifaceted complexities .
The practice exercises are well crafted by the author.
Must read book

[Mark Koester · Rating 5 out of 5]

Useful book on alternative ways to reflect on, think about and decide on the challenges we face using paradoxical thinking. Rather than either/or answers, why not try integrative thinking and synthesis? While writing was a bit academic at times, a useful business thinking book with fun examples and lots of good frameworks. Recommended for entrepreneurs, product designers and corporate leaders.

[Jerry Carter · Rating 4 out of 5]

Tensions caused by dilemmas rooted in paradox.

The central insight I gained from the audio version of the book, and its core theme, is how paradoxes affect businesses and organizations. Chapter 9 introduces the concept of a "Polarity Map," which I believe every organization considering or undergoing transformation should utilize to prevent becoming entrenched on one side of a debate.

[Jake Miller · Rating 4 out of 5]

The title drew me in, and the stories were decent. Each narrative helped pull apart the onion of "winning," which is all too apparent a desire in our culture today -- especially given the state of American politics. That said, I thought it was a solid book, reinforcing my thought process of both/and thinking and not fully shifting my perspective through specific tales or skills.

[Alice Ferris · Rating 3 out of 5]

Good, practical suggestions on how to reframe your thinking to explore more options than what can can happen in either/or thinking. The examples get a bit redundant later in the book, but overall, the authors present solid ideas.

[Céline · Rating 2 out of 5]

not sure why i didn't expect this so be so business focused, but i was kind of bummed that it was. it didn't really feel like it went deep enough but hey, i wasn't sold from the beginning so who knows