Anything For Amelia by Andrew C Branham

by Andrew C. Branham

A true story of the challenges endured by two gay men who had the desire to adopt a child. When Andrew and DJ decided to adopt and bring a child into their lives, little did they know what they were about to endure; yet never did the thought cross their minds to give up. The horrific, pitilessly, and beyond comprehensible hoops one woman would make them jump through demonstrates beyond a shadow of a doubt that little Amelia was going to be much better off in the loving home that Drew and DJ could provide her. Just when you think, how can two people survive such a nightmare and the journey is just about over when little Amelia is born and will be safely in the arms of her loving dads, Sandi decides to pull one more shenanigan that could change their lives forever. More than 10 million adults have been adopted or fostered in their childhood. Along with spiraling increases in adoptions comes a growing need to disclose the significant flaws in adoption laws that open the doors to fraud, manipulation, and abuse of the system. AMELIA is the first book to explore this dark side of the adoption process through the true story of one couple’s journey through hell. Called “the most difficult adoption in U.S. history” by adoption experts, the book appeals to nearly all families (traditional and non-traditional) interested in adoption, foster parenting, or surrogacy. An amazing book filled with tips, advice, and eye-opening first-hand accounts, this is one feel-good story that serves an important purpose and fills a critical gap in adoption literature. – D. J. Herda Keywords – Gay, Dads, Adoption, Horrific, Nightmare, Child, DFS, Adopt, Advice, How To, Relationship, LGBT

Paperback

First published September 3, 2015

About the author

Andrew Branham is a business executive who lives in Jackson, MI. He is married to his long-time partner and they have one daughter. Andrew is an avid writer and has contributed articles and Opeds for multiple major newspapers throughout the country. He also writes business articles for many different publications and websites.


In his spare time, Andrew enjoys the outdoors, travel, writing, reading, and spending time with his family. He is currently working on his first fiction novel that will be released in late 2015 or early 2016. Andrew is a gay rights and human rights advocate. He is also a huge supporter of adoption, gay adoption, open adoption and foster care. He financially supports an orphanage overseas in Thailand.

Reviews

[Andrew Branham · Rating 5 out of 5]

Well since I am the author of course I liked it :-) That being said, I am posting this as my book is brand new and just hit the shelves. In fact, it is only available on Kindle now but the print version comes out in two weeks. I am excited as sales have started out very strong.

I wrote this book not to make personal profit - but rather to donate profits to the American foster care system. My partner and I went through what industry experts called 'the most difficult adoption is U.S. history". As a result - I wrote this memoir with the hopes of helping other adoptive families while also raising money for foster care.

Our adoption was a roller coaster of emotions. It was a 206 day journey through hell.

I hope you enjoy this book.

[Tony Parsons · Rating 5 out of 5]

1st. & foremost as a former MSW, what happened to you, could have been prevented if several PPL had been doing there job right!
Sandi & Doug/family are about 1% of that type of population we work with. That also depends on the city/state location & environment the family lives in.

On the other hand a huge amount of woman turn to the baby factory as their way out. The same MO in the book as you described is quite typical.

Mental illness help is out there for most everyone. Doug’s are a dime-a-dozen. Who suffers of course the children do. Sometimes the cycle of abuse & poverty continues.

What is frustrating is agencies not wanting to work together: Children’s family services (DHCF), especially adoption agencies, they have a quota to make, social workers, lawyers (GAL), judges, the legal system, & CASA who I volunteered for 10 yrs. has a very tough time.
But as a MSW you must be the ombudsman & be able to work with the bureaucratic systems.

I am still very upset how you 2 were treated and the help that came way too late.
Every state has an ethical governing & review board. A bunch of someone’s should have been turned in no ifs & or buts.
I will shut up now.

My heart is touched by you 2’s perseverance. & best of luck to the 3 of you or maybe more?

In my line of work I enjoyed working with all of my GLBT? clients.

Warning: This book contains extreme violence, graphic adult content or expletive language &/or sexually explicit content which is only suitable for mature readers. It may be offensive to some readers.

I did not receive any type of compensation for reading & reviewing this book. While I receive free books from publishers & authors, I am under no obligation to write a positive review. Only an honest one.

A very awesome book cover, great font & writing style. A very well written memoir book. It was very easy for me to read/follow from start/finish & never a dull moment. There were no grammar/typo errors, nor any repetitive or out of line sequence sentences. Lots of exciting scenarios, with several twists/turns & a great set of unique characters to keep track of. This could also make another great memoir movie, college class PP presentation or mini TV series. There is no doubt in my mind this is a very easy rating of 5 stars.

Thank you for the free Goodreads; 1st. Design Publishing; Autographed; paperback book
Tony Parsons MSW (Washburn)

[Catherine Townsend-Lyon · Rating 5 out of 5]

An Amazing True Story Of Adoption and A New Beautiful Family.

What more can I add to many other fantastic reviews of Andrew Branham's new book titled,'Anything for Amelia' that has not been written already. Very well written account of a truly heartwarming, and times heartbreaking experience both Drew and DJ,and had to face until the sweet victory of having a family they desperately wanted. I also came away from this book realizing that our adoption system is badly broken in this country. No parents should have to battle like Andrew had to start a family through the adoption system.
Way to many open loop holes in our flawed system.

I want to echo what another reader mentioned in their review, this book is not just about two gay men wanting a child, nor just about the LGBT community. This is about real lives, going through real pain when they came to many heartbreaking road blocks in their process of adopting Amelia.

I feel legal rights need to lean more for the couples adopting than most all for the birthmothers. Yes, much is and can be done through the legal and adoption process, and this book is proof how corrupt our system is, with to many open loop holes for fraud. Very unfair balance, which this adoption is now called “the most difficult adoption in U.S. history” by adoption experts.

As a book reviewer point of view, Andrew did an exceptional job with writing such an in-depth personal journey that will help many parents adopting and who now come after Andrew and DJ, to use his book as a guide of what to expect when adopting a child. What a legacy to leave behind for his family and for all who read his book. My heart goes out to them of the heartaches they had to go through, but in the end? If you just take one look at 'Sweet Amelia,' I'm sure she makes it all worth IT!

What impressed me the most about Andrew and his new book? A portion of profits will be donated to help other families adopt. Priceless.

Author, Catherine Townsend-Lyon of Lyon Book Promotions

Excellent & Highly Suggested Read!

[Kara · Rating 5 out of 5]

This was a such a amazing but at the same time sad story of everything two men had to go through with one horrible woman to adopt their daughter.
Yes I would call what this woman did to them beyond horrible.. As a mother it makes me sick reading about another mother this evil who would treat her children this horribly and sees nothing wrong with what she was doing. The abuse, the lack of care she gave her children honestly made me cry. Why would a woman treat her children like this. That is not even going into what this woman did to Andrew and DJ.. All the manipulation the running them around and draining them dry just to further herself because from what I got from this book none of what she asked for was for her children only for her own selfish self. Sorry for the rant but woman like this make me honestly sick and after what she did to not just Andrew and Dj which was horrible but to her own children ugh.. I just have no polite words to say about this woman other then I truly hope someday she gets help and her children get a family who will care for them and love them like they deserve to be loved!
I want say how awesome these two men were to stick through everything they did and give Amelia a real chance at a family with two men who will love and care for her.
I thought this book was beautiful that these two men finally got to take their daughter home. But at the same time it was so sad to read about everything that Sandi did and to know as hard as it is to think about there are more woman or men out there who treat their children like the way she did her children but worse too. It really breaks my heart to think of all the children out there who are going through what Sandi's children are. I thought the author did such a good job portraying these two men's struggles and everything they went through to get to their light at the end of the tunnel. Their happily ever after with Amelia their daughter.

I received this book free in exchange for an honest review from Inked Rainbow Reads.

[Debra Lucas · Rating 5 out of 5]

I won Anything For Amelia in a Goodreads Giveaway in exchange for an honest review. This book has touched my heart in so many ways. I feel as if I know Andrew and DJ as personal friends after going through their adoption process with them in this Memoir. They are a wonderful couple who will make great parents. I thank God for people like them who go through what they did to adopt and save a child's life! Theirs was an open adoption in California. The birth mother looks at the profiles of those who want to adopt her baby and matches with with the person or couple of her choice. Then the matched adoptive parent(s) are responsible for the mother's expenses throughout her pregnancy and a postpartum bonus too!! A system which is open to corruption and abuse. How could it not be? Yet once you've begun the process, a couple who has now invested money and time, wants to see it through to the end. Andrew and DJ should be put up for sainthood after what they went through with this birth mother, her common law husband, and her first 3 children. They went above and beyond what they had to do because they wanted to help the 3 children that they had developed a relationship with. They were also terribly manipulated by the birth mother. This would now be the third child she was basically "selling" to support herself and her family for about a 10 month period of time. The mother was and is a very emotionally damaged woman. She is now repeating the abuse and neglect with her own 3 children. The whole adoption process was a stressful and insane nightmare! I was so relieved when it was finally over!! I am happy for Amelia who has two fine Daddies. I want to thank Andrew Branham for writing this beautiful and enlightening book. My heart is smiling for your lovely family.

[Book · Rating 5 out of 5]

“Anything For Amelia” written by Andrew C Branham brought both heartbreaking and heartwarming story based on actual story – description of a real agony and the challenges two men went through before they were able to adopt a child.

The author was inspired to write his debut book “Anything for Amelia” after going through what many experts called 'the most difficult adoption in U.S. history'. During their 206 days long odyssey, Andrew and his partner were introduced to the other side of U.S. adoption system and based on journal Andrew kept for whole painful experience, this book was created.

And though Andrew both as author and privately can be considered as a large supporter of LGBT community, he is also advocate for human rights in general. Therefore this book is not something that only gays could understand or should read – quite the opposite, because “Anything For Amelia” discusses unfair battles for which we do not even know are fought around us, books like this can raise public awareness and eventually will lead to change of bad legislation, allowing our children a happier childhood.

Although based on real life, this book is from the page one like a roller-coaster, it will draw you from the very moment you take it in your hands. It’s not always easy to read it, because of painful events portrayed on its pages and certainly one can only imagine how the main protagonists managed to go through it.

But, for all those reasons, “Anything for Amelia” deserves further recommendation, in order this shameful case to be, if not the last, then at least one of the last, painful similar stories.

I was given a copy of this book by the author for the purpose of unbiased review, while all the presented information is based on my impressions.

[Mark · Rating 5 out of 5]

I loved non-fiction stories that are based on events that happen in real life. I found that this story was actually so inspiring and motivating. I wish that there would be more stories out there like this. One of my friends from high school is gay and would love to adopt a child one day. The process can be extremely difficult and cause heartache. I think that this story is so beautifully written and will give these couples hope that anything is possible. I would say that this book is not just for the LGBT community and has something in it that will really relate to all audiences. I could feel the love that DJ and Andrew had for Amelia. It was just so powerful and they really did go through everything just to make this wonderful adoption possible. This is probably one of the best true stories that I have ever read, it has such a powerful message. I would recommend reading this one, it truly is a great and heartwarming story!

[Jean Brazil · Rating 5 out of 5]

I received a free e-galley of this book from Netgalley. This book was really good. I kept telling my family, You won't believe what else this woman did! A great story of a very frustrating and long adoption family by two caring men. I am glad they had the patience to stick it out and finally got their daughter. I feel sorry for the other biological children still stuck in that crazed woman's home.

[Jacki Jeli-fan · Rating 5 out of 5]

Not many books make me cry but this one did It also made me happy. A wonderful real life account of a child's journey to a forever home. I highly recommend this book to everyone . Bravo to Mr Branham for telling this story.

[Ann · Rating 5 out of 5]

This book was a very raw and honest account of the difficulties of open adoption.

[Heather Trudeau · Rating 5 out of 5]

I don't know how Drew and DJ did it! They are truly two of the strongest people on this planet to be put through such an ordeal. My heart broke for the other children of the birth mother, how their childhoods were and the sad cycle of abuse that gets passed down in these situations (i.e. the mother coming from abuse). I can only hope things are better for them now. Drew and DJ you are true angels!

[Julie Haigh · Rating 5 out of 5]

An unmissable and unputdownable story.

This is exactly the kind of story that interests me. Birth is a miracle whether I'm reading about it from a midwife's point of view in a memoir or eg: from a person who has difficulties conceiving or multiple miscarriage. This story is different again for me in that it is two guys who are in a stable, loving relationship and they would like to go through the adoption route to complete their happiness. Andrew and DJ's story also resonates with me as I have friends who are gay couples and a guy at my hairdressers is currently going through the adoption process with his partner/husband. The book has a good introduction chapter, it’s very readable and keeps your interest. It seems the birth mother took them for mugs and got them to pay for all sorts of things-and gave no appreciation. She seemed to see them as a meal ticket and thought they could pay for everything-meals at restaurants, clothing etc. They felt compelled to go along with it as they were desperate for everything to go smoothly for the adoption. You just have to feel for them as you are reading their story. My, what they had to put up with! A real rollercoaster of emotions. Constant demands and complete ingratitude from the birth mother. They must have been at the end of their tether many times. Some may object to the use of the F word quite a few times in the book but I accept that this is how Sandi spoke-Andrew had to express it to show everything about how they were spoken to and treated. I feel it may have been better to later say that she continued to spew foul language out of her mouth instead of keep having the F word. This is telling it like it was though. So much of this story is hard. When somebody says-did you enjoy it?: It's one of those where you can't exactly say you 'enjoyed it', it would be wrong as it's about a very stressful and fraught time in these two guy's lives. Instead it’s a very emotional and involving read. They had so much to put up with and they daren't not comply with Sandi's demands for the constant fear that she would go back on her word for the plan for them to adopt her baby. I expected there might be some lovely times, times spent overjoyed with their new daughter but the book concentrates mostly on the build up to the birth. Maybe there will be a follow-up which will show more about the happy ending? My goodness-talk about hurdles-and at a very late stage in the book too-just as I was thinking that was the end of their problems and it kept going on and on. Being a mum, and a grandparent, I can't begin to understand how a woman can just give her child away like this-or sell it-it's totally incomprehensible. Thank heaven this child is safe, happy and loved so much by her daddies. A heart-warming end to this harrowing story. I would have liked a few pictures included. I must admit, when I first saw the book online it did interest me but when I saw a news article about Andrew Branham’s memoir, with a picture of him and DJ with little Amelia-I just melted and had to have the book-and promptly bought it! There were a few tiny errors but, as this is not a self-published book-I would have expected his editor/proof reader etc. to have picked up on these and my overall impression of the book is unchanged by these anyway. I was so glad there was an update at the end of the book. I thought it was ending with some advice for people looking to adopt-very useful info-but I just wanted to know more about their life with Amelia when they'd settled into routine. It's here! So this section is a very welcome addition. Good conclusions and ends on a hopeful and uplifting note. An unmissable and unputdownable story.

[Heidi | Paper Safari Book Blog · Rating 2 out of 5]

This book really drives home to me how using an agency instead of an adoption facilitator can help shelter families from women who try to take advantage of prospective adoptive parents. Andrew and his partner DJ used an adoption facilitator who matched them with a birth mother (Sandi) but most of the work was done by themselves with calls to their attorney. They got paperwork signed, they set up meetings with their birth mother and her family and they didn't have anyone really looking out or protecting them from this demanding woman. In addition further along in the book you realize that their facilitator knew more about this woman than she told Andrew and DJ, there had already been an agency that had tried to put information out there about her manipulations and illegal actions with another family.

We can all look at Sandi with disdain for her manipulations and actions but this woman was smart and knew how to work the system. She was manipulative, she lied, and she blackmailed, she was abusive to her children, to her boyfriend, and to pretty much everyone around her yet she survived and usually got her way. I'm not saying she was a wonderful person but you have to give credit to her survival skills.

I think that there were many unrealistic expectations on the part of Andrew and DJ as well as Sandi on what to expect during the whole process and the facilitator didn't do enough to help them navigate this new relationship. Throughout this book I was struck that Andrew and DJ considered this child theirs before termination even happened. This is not a surrogate relationship, this was an adoption, and Sandi had rights, and the child she was carrying was hers until she signed her surrenders. The fact that Andrew and DJ were posting on facebook that they were going to have a boy or a girl was disrespectful to Sandi and manipulative in its own way. I understand that Andrew was worn down and angry with Sandi at the time he wrote this book but I feel the anger and disrespect with which he writes about her, his child's mother is inconsiderate of Amelia. Even with all her faults this is the woman who carried and gave life to their daughter and that in itself should be enough to think about how this tale will effect his daughter when she is older, and I wonder how they speak of her to their daughter.

Even in divorce situations you are always cautioned against badmouthing the other parent. Andrew didn't just tell his story, he told Sandi's and he also told Amelia's. If he was that concerned about Sandi's children he would have called Child Protective Services, or better yet why didn't the Adoption Facilitator? She should be a mandated reporter, so knowing everything that was going on she should have been obligated to make a call. Andrew has stated in comments that he didn't call anyone because it may have jeopardized the adoption, that Amelia may have wound up with Sandi and while I appreciate that he wanted to save this child from her wrath, he and all the other adults in this situation allowed 4 children to suffer for months, which seems a little self serving and selfish.

I think that anyone reading this book would feel compassion for Andrew and DJ but I really wonder how will this book impact Amelia in the future? This negative, degrading description of her birth mother? This is a good cautionary tale and a good reason why using an agency to facilitate the adoption process and navigate the relationship between prospective adoptive parents and birth parents is a good idea, but I still feel that their were expectations and feelings on both sides that led this adoption down a dark path that could have been nipped in the bud early on.

[Sherrill Goodlive · Rating 4 out of 5]

This book was recommended to me because the author and I grew up in the same city (Lorain, OH). I would have liked reading it even if I hadn't had the connection.

The author and his partner enter into an open adoption agreement, and the birth mother puts them through hell and back while they are waiting for the baby to be born. Reading about everything these two men did for the birth mother's family along with witnessing the treatment the other children in the family have to deal with is very difficult. The worst part of reading about it is realizing that these are real people and it's not fiction.

[Pauline Armstrong]

Don't read this if you're thinking about adopting, as the trials and tribulations that poor Drew and DJ suffered could put you off for life! There was a happy ending, with the adoption of their gorgeous baby daughter, Amelia, but the birth mother had them jumping through hoops for many months beforehand! I was left with an over-riding concern for the children who are still in the care of this heartless person, and hope they can find their own happy ending.......

[Cynthia A · Rating 4 out of 5]

This book is about adoption. It shows me how broken our adoption system is. No one should have to experience what Andrew and DJ went through to adopt Amelia. It took great courage to complete the adoption process with an individual like Sandy involved. She is the essence of evil.

Won this book on Goodreads.

[Sandy · Rating 5 out of 5]

Amelia is blessed to have 2 loving fathers. Andrew and DJ truly represent "unconditional love". I constantly worried that Sandi's other children would get help, but hopefully thanks again to these two men they will also get help and ultimately the love they deserve.

[Shelley · Rating 3 out of 5]

In compliance with FTC guidelines, I am disclosing that I received a copy of this book for free through Goodreads Giveaways.
It is an intense, quick read. Thank you for sharing your experience. Wishing you and your family all the best.

[Brian · Rating 5 out of 5]

I received a free copy through NetGalley.

[Caitlin Lopez Rogers · Rating 5 out of 5]

This story completely blew my mind. I have so much respect for adoptive parents and birth parents who do so much to ensure a beautiful and healthy future for their children.