Parcel Arrived Safely: Tied with String

by Michael Crawford

In his autobiography, Michael Crawford recalls his childhood, his memories and his early years in showbusiness and the friendships he developed. He recalls stage hits such as "The Phantom of the Opera" and films such as "Hello Dolly!", and offers both professional and personal anecdotes.

Genres: Nonfiction, Autobiography, Biography, Memoir, Music, Humor

352 pages, Mass Market Paperback

First published January 1, 1999

Reviews

[Bettie · Rating 3 out of 5]

Bettie's Books

[Stephen Robert Collins · Rating 5 out of 5]

Do you love Some Mothers Do have them well this the book for you here he goes into great detail on the history of how Norman Wisdom was the original choose & after the show came out you can see why. But also takes you step mad step through the stunts which no actor today would be able to do because of insurance but then it was so different & that's why we have brilliant TV show that will never again be related .
We have his Phantom of the Opera & his other musicals but over all this very much 'Oh Bettie the cats done a woopsy'

[Piepie | The Napping Bibliophile · Rating 5 out of 5]

Michael Crawford is one of my great, great favorites to listen to - I love his beautiful, smooth voice and I have listened to the live album of Michael Crawford in Concert, Los Angeles, over and over until I have practically every word - song AND dialogue! - memorized.

This book lifts the veil of Michael's life and you get to know him both personally and professionally, raised by a family of women, married with two daughters of his own, up until the phenomenal success of The Phantom of the Opera. Before reading this book I had actually watched A Funny Thing Happened on the Way to the Forum for the first time - I've also seen Alice's Adventures in Wonderland, Hello Dolly, The Ghosts of Christmas Eve, and Some Mothers Do 'Ave 'Em. I haven't yet seen Barnum, but I'm planning on doing so soon. Michael writes of passion and respect for circus performers as he recalls his days of playing P.T. Barnum.

Of course, he includes stories of celebrities, family members, and friends. Names he drops includes those of Bob Hope, Steve McQueen, John Lennon, Gene Kelly, and of course Andrew Lloyd Webber and Sarah Brightman.

No, this gentleman is not perfect - as you'll see in one or two briefly-written sections - but I loved this book all the same and it's definitely something I'll want to purchase for my personal library. Anything that makes me giggle is something I highly, highly recommend. Besides being an actor/singer and comedian, Crawford is a philanthropist, working closely with charities and in this book he documents a Save the Children trip to Africa. He seems to be all heart, and I'm a huge fan.

[Lynne Stringer · Rating 4 out of 5]

I have long been a fan of Michael Crawford, and I enjoyed reading about his up and down life. He didn't seem to glorify himself, as some might do, but seemed to give an honest portrayal of himself and his hardships. Recommended.

[Terry · Rating 5 out of 5]

I love Michael Crawford and have for years. And I love him even more now after reading his book. Funny, sad, touching, and above all self-deprecating. Under the Phantom's mask lies a lovely human being with a sweet heart. And who knew he was such a great writer? I laughed out loud at some of his stories, and still do at a reread (which I do frequently.)He takes his craft seriously, but not himself. You won't find ego trips here,and with his multi-layered talent, he deserves a few.

Michael's book is a most entertaining journey for us, yet for him, not an easy one. He deserves his multi-decade success because he works hard for it and keeps his audience as his primary concern as a performer.

I've seen him in Phantom at the lovely Majestic Theater back in 1988, and fell in love with a voice that could melt iron. Since then, I've seen him many times in concert. He is a true gift to the musical theater, and I wish him many more years of fun on the boards. I also hope he writes another book! He was quite ill last year, so it's good to see him back in action.

[Sheila · Rating 3 out of 5]

The book got off to a rousing and enjoyable start with vignettes of his colourful family and his own struggles with school and hyperactivity...

I cheered for this disadvantaged youth until he makes it in show biz. (Some Mothers Do 'Ave 'Em, Phantom of the Opera).

Then the book deteriorates into name dropping and smarmy reviews of previous directors and fellow actors. An inveterate apple polisher, Crawford sounds as if he's desperate for work.

I found myself skimming and skipping some pages in the last quarter of the book for this reason.

[Misha · Rating 4 out of 5]

The Phantom's mask is removed for antecdotes about life and the entertainment industry. I'm not usually inclined to read memoirs, but as a theatre geek I wanted a peek into Crawford's experiences in theatre, movies, TV, music studios, and radio. It's written in Crawford's natural tone, meaning more humorous circumstance than pomp, which makes it an enjoyable read.

[Ruthanne Johnston · Rating 4 out of 5]

My all-time favorite singer. What a treat to learn about his life and how he faced each loss and crisis with grace and that delightful British sense of silliness!

[Peter Millett · Rating 4 out of 5]

A really candid book from a beloved actor. Warts and all bio. Well told.

[Sherri · Rating 4 out of 5]

Loved it. Was totally Michael Crawford. He sprang from the pages with such honesty. I would recommend this book especially if you like Mr Crawford.

[Mediaman · Rating 2 out of 5]

This British publication contains a lot of material American audiences will not understand or care about. Crawford is basically known for one thing in the U.S.--Phantom. And the 48 pages of a 326 page-book devoted to his time with the musical are just not enough to make the book satisfying. The only other thing recognizable in America would be his film performance in Hello Dolly, and he barely mentions it. The rest of the book is a mixture of his professional work in British TV and theater, and personal stories that are often extremely odd (a female doctor checking his prostate when he complains of swollen glands?). He doesn't reveal too much of himself that is negative, and fails to address his reputation as being hot-headed and difficult to work work. Crawford tries to keep the whole thing upbeat, but the book is uninspiring and even boring except for the Phantom chapters.

[Vansa · Rating 5 out of 5]

Michael Crawford has acted in two of my favourite movies/works of art ever-‘Hello Dolly!’ and ‘The
Phantom of the Opera’. I wasn’t sure what to expect of his memoir though, and I could not have loved it more. Charming, witty, self-deprecating but also deeply insightful about the performing arts. I expected to flip pages till I got to the ‘Phantom’ section, or the bits about ‘Hello Dolly’, but I unexpectedly found myself utterly gripped by his childhood. He grew up in a post-war middle-class childhood, and seems to have been left to his own devices by his mother and volatile, occasionally abusive stepfather. He clearly always liked to sing, and writes of his mother describing him as hyper-active and always wanting to be on the move, clearly something he would use to his advantage when he was older in his roles involving a lot of physical dexterity. It’s not so easy to deliberately do a pratfall, and make audiences laugh, but also sympathise. Crawford was obsessed with public transport and trains as a kid, and I find it very charming that he would travel once a month to get updated train timetables, and pretend to be a station master in his room, playing with his model train set. He also had a puppet theatre with which he staged elaborate plays for his parent,s of stories he made up, where he would even serve tea-though his parents usually fell asleep by the end! Crawford’s school choir experiences, and obvious talent, led to his English teacher suggesting him for radio plays, from when he was around 12, and finally, a kindly neighbour tells his mother of an audition for Benjamin Britten’s Noye’s FLudd, that has a huge cast of children. The auditions are in Britten’s house, and Crawford writes of his deep admiration and gratitude to Britten, who genuinely took an interest in the cast, and exposing children to music, apart from being a very kind person to work with. Crawford even got himself an agent, who’s got him a steady stream of work, across stage, screen and radio, with traveling companies as well. His interest in public transport and cycling long distances helps him here, since he says his parents didn’t have the time or the money to
take him to these engagements! BY the time he’s fifteen, he convinces his parents that he should leave school, and keep at acting, because he had a steady stream of earnings from it and never looks back. He continued to work steadily across the stage, radio, and movies in the UK, with some of the best directors of the time, including Michael Winner, where he starred as Oliver Reed’s younger brother-he says he kept refusing the role because he felt nobody would ever find that believable, till Michael Winner made Oliver Reed bring his younger brother to their next meeting-who physically happened to resemble Crawford very closely! Michael Winner was known to be deeply unpopular with the cast and crew, who kept playing elaborate practical jokes on him, and topped it off with all of them colluding to use one of the on-set cranes to lift his car in the air...with him in it! Maybe that explains why he was so mean to his crew! Crawford describes getting the lead role in Peter Shaffer’s Black Comedy, that sounds so like the plays popular in the 60s-both farcical but also avant garde. The conceit here was that there would be intermittent power outages as part of the storyline, but those scenes would be lit, for the audience. The other scenes would all be in the dark. So this required the cast to have to stumble around bumping into furniture and things when the stage was lit, but move like they could see when it was dark. This was apparently an ancient Chinese theatre trick Shaffer had read about and wanted to experiment with, and Crawford could give full rein to his gifts for physical comedy. The play was a huge hit, and transferred to Broadway from the West End, where it got rave reviews, but also, more importantly, was seen by Gene Kelly’s wife. Crawford was then contacted by Gene Kelly, and flown to LA and he describes this with wide-eyed wonder that reaches you, all these years later. I loved the account of his meeting with Gene Kelly, where he prepares for it for hours and hours, and finally, as any human would, forgets it when he actually sees the great man himself who was visiting him to see if he would be suitable for a part in ‘Hello Dolly’. Crawford can’t really dance but something about his presence seems to appeal to Kelly, who tells him that the character he’ll be playing is a handsome idiot, and “My wife thinks you’re handsome, I think you’re an idiot, so maybe you’ll do!”. And that was cinematic history, of course, with Crawford singing one of the most famous songs in ‘Hello Dolly’, ‘It only takes a moment’, that’s a standard independent of the movie. The shoot was quite extensive with multiple rehearsals, and he takes great pains to dispel notions of Barbra Streisand making things difficult or behaving like a diva, as the rumours go-Streisand was apparently always rehearsed, very professional as she’s always seemed, really. There’s a lovely bit where he writes of visiting the location of 20th Century Fox decades later, and going there to show his wife and daughters where he was shooting for the movie, and it’s been sold off, piece meal, to build luxury apartments ( called Century City), and how excited he feels when he finally sees one small part of the old studio that’s still the same, and a gate with a crotchety security guard, much as it had been when he was shooting for Hello Dolly.Crawford also writes about his experience with ‘Some mothers do ‘ave ‘em’ , a sitcom about Frank Spencer, a very unlucky man who’s also very clumsy, and all the situations he gets into and how his loving wife and family help him out. I hadn’t heard of this at all, but happened to mention it to my husband as something I didn’t know about, but turns out, It was broadcast here in the 90s, and he remembered it very fondly! He told me all his memories of watching it and it gave me some context for what this show
was about. Crawford was deeply involved with creating the character, from the voice he used, his
expressions, his clothes, and clearly managed to make the character sympathetic and not annoying, or pathetic. It’s difficult to manage that without the audience laughing at the characters, and not because you’re in on the joke. He did all his stunts himself and he writes warmly of the support he got from the creators of the show, and the actress who played his wife, Michele Dotrice. From clips I’ve seen subsequently of the show, it’s astonishing he attempted some of those himself-hanging off a window washers cart, balancing a car on a cliff. I loved a bit where he breaks down physical comedy and how to achieve a laugh-a great insight into how performers think about their work.
Crawford writes that he knew Andrew Lloyd Webber socially, through his work in theatre, and had the same vocal coach as Sarah Brightman. Lloyd Webber decided to cast him because of reputation for physical comedy, and he felt his voice would suit the more operatic style of the musical, unlike Lloyd Webber’s usual rock opera musical stylings. Her Majesty’s Theatre ( as it was then) was renovated to accommodate Lloyd Webber’s vision, with multiple trapdoors, electronic fittings for all the digitally controlled props. For this role as well, Crawford was instrumental in his inputs for how to pitch the character, but in his typically generous way, he devotes quite a few pages to Maria Bjornson, the costume designer for the show who came up with the vertically split half mask, to allow Crawford to sing, and the idea that half his face would be scarred while the other wouldn’t. The character was masked, so the actor playing the role had to communicate feeling and emotional complexity through his physicality, and Crawford had to come up with extravagant gestures, and movements to make the character seem more real, and Bjornson also designed the costume, and used specific materials for it that wouldn’t hamper his movements. I found his acknowledgement of her significant contributions a lovely gesture from a man who’s undeniably a star, the actor who originated the role of one of the most iconic musical characters, to remember to acknowledge the contribution of other people to his stardom, when he so easily didn’t need to. Crawford is unexpectedly and movingly candid about his failed marriage, he writes about how the relationship started, and the marriage itself, but does not shy away from accepting his share of blame-mostly absent, and the infidelities that finally ended the marriage. It makes for quite sad reading though he moved to New Zealand later in his life, to be closer to his children.

The last section of the book is devoted to Phantom, of course, that couldn’t have made me happier. The stage directions were very complex, and I loved reading about how they actually achieved all of those scene transitions, including recreating what looks like an underground lake on stage. One of the previews he writes about, their computer system clearly went rogue, with the giant bed popping and out, the candlesticks shooting out from the trapdoors and then back down, and the boat refusing to move! These fortunately were ironed out by the time the show premiered, and the rest is genuinely theatre history. After 2 years on the West End, Crawford also performed the role on Broadway and then embarked on a US tour, also performing at LA. It’s peppered with anecdotes of all the famous people he came in contact with, but the writing is so good, that it doesn’t come across as someone trying to name- drop; the anecdotes reveal something about the people he’s writing of. Eric Trump, for instance, name- dropped his father’s name to get a ticket, and when actually got one, apparently spent all his time in the front row with what appears to be one of those ancient 80s mobile phones stuck to his ear! I didn’t know Sammy Davis Jr. was a huge fan of the show and had watched it multiple times in New York, and started including ‘Music of the night’ in his shows. I found I very amusing that Crawford writes that getting anywhere in LA is extremely difficult since there’s no public transport, which he feels contributed to a dearth of great theatre, but people still made the trips! He writes movingly of all the letters he receives about people with disfiguring injuries telling him how much the character means to them, people who saw it with their loved ones who aren’t with them anymore, people with AIDS, or whose friends had AIDS and how they felt it spoke to them. Crawford had done benefit performances, and auctioned off tickets with the proceeds going to organisations helping people with AIDS, and he writes of the sadness of losing members of the cast and crew to it. The book ends with him performing the role at LA for the
last time before someone else took over, and the withdrawal pangs he feels. He phones up the theatre just to check in on them and say hello, and he gets no recognition! He ends ruefully with the reflection that such is the lot of the traveling actor’s life on the stage, and he must move forward too. Lovely moving book.

[James Lark]

I remember when this book was published in 1999, because apart from the rounds of daytime TV that Michael Crawford did (it must have been my gap year...) I remember reading the review in the Telegraph (then my parents' choice of paper) which portrayed Crawford as a masochist, citing his enthusiasm for his first film job that involved diving into filthy Thames water and subsequently getting his stomach pumped. Not wanting to tarnish my opinion of a childhood hero, I decided to cross it off my Christmas list.

My admiration for Michael Crawford has actually increased in recent years, both through several visits to see his extraordinary performance in The Go-Between and also my growing vinyl collection (his recordings communicate something of the sensitivity and warmth that make him such a mesmerising stage performer). So I finally picked this up in a second hand bookshop, and would you believe it, he has been more than a little misrepresented by the aforementioned Telegraph reviewer. But perhaps it shouldn't be surprising that a Telegraph journalist would treat hard work and commitment with suspicion. As Crawford himself writes, 'many's the time when my name has appeared in print coupled with 'perfectionist' as if that were some dirty word'.

In fact it's his determination to conquer some astonishingly difficult jobs, in the face of what seems to have at times been crippling insecurity, which makes this such an endearing read. Crawford's career is pretty astonishing by any measure, but the variety and the continuing urge to cover new ground is what makes his journey so unique. You would have to be, I don't know, a Telegraph journalist not to admire somebody so eager to take on new challenges, not just for the sake of doing them but to do them well, and presumably it is also way beyond the purview of a Telegraph journalist to identify with the enthusiasm that spurs on such activity, from the childish glee at getting paid to dive into the Thames to pretend to rescue somebody, to performing in The Phantom of the Opera over a thousand times. The endless mountains climbed in between might become insufferable, except that they are described with humility and self-deprecating humour (even up to the final sentence).

It's also worth noting that he writes really well. In fact the highlights are perhaps the more personal sections - his descriptions of childhood or of his relationship with his Grandmother are beautifully evocative, whilst he skirts over some of the details of his professional career - the experience of making three series of 'Some Mothers Do 'Ave 'Em', which would make for a fascinating book in its own right, are boiled down to just a few pages. But this is much more a book about a person than it is a series of showbiz anecdotes, which again rather flies in the face of the 'obsessed with work' accusation.

There are certainly some painful episodes - physical and emotional - though no more than those experienced by many an artist, and his eagerness to succeed is infectious. Or ought to be; apparently, if your own experience is limited to peddling snarky little write-ups for the Barclay Brothers, this might take you outside your comfort zone - in which case, perhaps stick to something safer like a biography of the Prime Minister?

[Debbie · Rating 3 out of 5]

The title is a coded telegram sent home to announce the birth of illegitamate Michael, tied with string meaning its a boy. This is an honest account of his childhood and career in showbusiness. His childhood and early career was by far the most enjoyable to read. This book has lots of laughs and Frank Spencer moments and is a book you can dip into and doesnt need to be read all in one go. Lots of insights into theatre life and he does seem to suffer more than his fare share of setbacks but the show must go on.

Didnt know that he had an established Hollywood career before his famous TV show. And he really did do all his own stunts - amazing!

Was surprised when I read that he had lost everything due to a bad investment and I mean everything and had to start from the very bottom. I ve got a lot of respect for him the way he dealt with this devasting blow.

I did find it hard to believe that so many weird things really happened to him , where does Frank Spencer end and Michael Crawford being ? For me the book became tedious after his early career as Michaels remembers names of everyone he ever worked with and has a story for every occasion!

A little bit of scandal is uncovered with a broken promise to an actress and subsequent child which due to legal reasons he could not include in this book. Very intriging - but despite my best attempts on google I cant find anymore about this.

[Mia · Rating 5 out of 5]

I journeyed to the library to check out the autobiography of my favorite thespian of all time. Needless to say, I was not disappointed when I read it! The way Michael describes his journey through the world of film and stage acting, as well as his personal life, my anxieties as a high school student melt away. Anytime I feel my life is hectic or pointless, I just motion towards my newly acquired personal copy and read through certain passages. The struggle has its awards, as Michael himself has witnessed. After all, it's not everyday a man is a part of "Mothers do Have 'Em" or originates the most acclaimed and recognized role in musical theatre in the 2nd longest running show of all time. (Les Miserables beats Phantom as it was released on the West End earlier) or that a man stars in the most expensive production ever (That 4 technicians died on, says the original stage manager himself!) in the MGM grand.

[Redfox5 · Rating 4 out of 5]

I wasn't that excited about reading this. I'd only ever seen him in 'Some mothers do have them' when it used to be on at my nans while we'd wait for my dad to pick us up. But I didn't know anything else about him. I've read 13 autobiographys these past few months and I'm starting to feel abit meh about starting them. However when I got into this one I really liked it. Michael tell's his story well and I love hearing about the stage shows getting put together. I really wish I could see Barnum, sounds amazing! Every autobiography I've read so far has mentioned somebody else that I've already read about. Planet Celebrity is very small it seems. Recommened for fans of Michael and fans of stage and screen.

[Kristina Seleshanko · Rating 3 out of 5]

This is an enjoyable read. Crawford seems very likeable - funny, self-depreciating, kind. I enjoyed reading about his childhood and his climb to fame. I would have liked to have read more about his experiences in Phantom of the Opera, and his life after that show. (The book ends with his last performance as the Phantom, even though the books was written 9 years later.) Also, I would have liked to learn more about how his faith has impacted his choices.

[Red · Rating 3 out of 5]

B brought this home from the library for us. I'll read the first few chapters and then the Barnum & Phantom stuff.
The section on Barnum (several chapters) was longer then anticipated, and very interesting. The section on Phantom seemed shorter by comparison, but I enjoyed it all a lot. Many of the stories I'd heard before in interviews. It brought back a lot of fond memories.

[Nabela · Rating 4 out of 5]

It took me a long time to finish this because I kept picking it up and putting it down, mostly reading it during lunch breaks at work. There are lots of funny anecdotes in there. Definitely a pleasure to read about the life of this amazing man.

[Louise · Rating 5 out of 5]

Okay...so maybe it isn't technically a "5 star book"...but it sure as hell should be! I mean...MICHAEL CRAWFORD FREAKING WROTE IT!!!

[genotypewriter]

A book for the "phans".

[Caroline · Rating 4 out of 5]

Hilarlously entertaining, he really is frank spencer

[Debbie · Rating 5 out of 5]

best biography I have read so far , I laughed and cried equally, had me gripped from start to finish, from the brilliant title to the end ..I loved every part of this book,

[Maxine · Rating 3 out of 5]

Undeniably talented, Crawford comes across as an emotional argumentative diva who cheated on his wife. I sort of wish I hadn't read this :)

[Lauren · Rating 4 out of 5]

Really interesting!! Loved it.

[Sally Daffarn · Rating 4 out of 5]

Lovely

[Joy · Rating 5 out of 5]

very good, light hearted in places, serious in others. a good mix. recommended

[Chrystal · Rating 5 out of 5]

The man I knew grown up as Frank Spencer is so much more! Love this book. couldn't put it down!

[Pam Weston · Rating 4 out of 5]

Funny sad. Great read

[Ann · Rating 5 out of 5]

Great book! Very funny in so many scenes and interesting to read about Michael's career from childhood through the Broadway successes. A must- read for any fan of POTO or Michael Crawford.