Better Than Chocolate

by Bruce Golden

Noah Dane is a mid-21st Century San Francisco police inspector who, while hunting his partner's killer and investigating a pair of seemingly unrelated murders, stumbles onto a conspiracy that threatens all humanity. Noah is driven by the guilt over his partner's death. That guilt begins to eat at him, eventually rendering him impotent.
Much to his dismay, someone in the city's bureaucracy has a warped sense of humor. Noah's new crime-fighting partner is a celebudroid created to look and act like Marilyn Monroe. Comic juxtaposition ensues when her original programming seeps into her police work.
Chastity Blume is a celebrity talk show host known as America's Favorite Virgin. Her quest to find the mother she's never known uncovers family secrets she would rather not have learned, along with a sinister plot that involves her father.
Together they lead a cast of quirky characters through this science fiction mystery towards a climax of comically sexy proportions that's Better Than Chocolate .

292 pages, Paperback

First published April 18, 2007

About the author

Novelist, journalist, satirist, Bruce Golden's short stories have been published more than 130 times across 20 countries and in 30 anthologies. Asimov's Science Fiction described his second book, "If Mickey Spillane had collaborated with both Frederik Pohl and Philip K. Dick, he might have produced Bruce Golden's Better Than Chocolate." The same reviewer said of his novel Evergreen, "If you can imagine Ursula Le Guin channeling H. Rider Haggard, you'll have the barest conception of this stirring book, which centers around a mysterious artifact and the people in its thrall. Reminiscent of the work of Robert Silverberg, this planetary romance will introduce lucky readers to a world both magical and spooky, yet ultimately as tangible as your own backyard.” His Dancing with the Velvet Lizard, with 33 stories, is one of the largest collections of speculative fiction ever published. His latest novel, Red Sky, Blue Moon, follows Vikings and Native American Sioux when they're transported to another world by aliens. http://goldentales.tripod.com

Reviews

[Marilyn · Rating 5 out of 5]

I loved the humor in this science fiction mystery, and I loved all the quirky characters, ESPECIALLY the Marilyn Monroe celebudroid. As a a big fan of hers, I loved seeing her come back to life as an android. It was a kick.

[Mary Layson · Rating 5 out of 5]

Wonderful satire in a future world (much of which has already come true). I loved the idea of recreating Marilyn Monroe as a "celebudroid." Her interaction with Inspector Noah Dane made the whole book work. The short chapters and quick read led to a fabulously funny climax.

[David · Rating 5 out of 5]

What a cool read! Marilyn Monroe as a celebudroid...America's Favorite Virgin as a TV celebrity...sex saves the world from an alien plot. This is great scifi satire.

[Jim Raymond · Rating 5 out of 5]

Quirky fun with outlandish characters but a straight-forward plot. I enjoyed it from beginning to end. A sexy romp with an even funnier, sexier climax, but also a good mystery along the way. Noah Dane is now one of my favorite fictional characters. The use of Marilyn Monroe as a celebudroid was also great.

[Jane · Rating 5 out of 5]

I read this because I so thoroughly enjoyed two other books by this author. I was surprised, because Better Than Chocolate was so much different than the other books. This book is fun AND funny. Not that I laughed out loud a lot, but I was sure smiling throughout. It's full of quirky characters and odd scenarios, but the plot is played straight, as are the main characters, Noah Dance (San Francisco Police Inspector) and Chastity Blume ("America's Favorite Virgin"). Best of all is the character of the Marilyn Monroe celebudroid. As a fan of the film star, I was delighted to see her reanimated as an android.
The future of humankind is at stake, but the author takes a chance and plays with some our the best-loved cliches. Don't miss the hilarious but sexy climax.

[Mjhancock · Rating 2 out of 5]

Better Than Chocolate is a sci-fi mystery, with a plot that revolves around virtual reality, a Marilyn Monroe bot, and "America's Favorite Virgin," Chastity Blume. It's also a bit of a noir pastiche, and like many pastiches, runs the risk of collapsing under the weight of its own joke. Which, in my opinion, it does. I don't mind a book being a little cliched or contrived as long as it's done with a bit of style, but everything here felt rather heavy-handed and eye-rolling. Family man partner killed in the opening pages? Check. Uptight virgin girl shown the error of her ways? Check. Ridiculously contrived conclusion? Check. Maybe I was just in the wrong mood for it, but this book annoyed far, far more than it amused.

[Linda · Rating 5 out of 5]

I wasn't sure what to expect with this book, but the more I read, the more I was drawn into it. You have to approach this with the right mindset, because of its underlying satire. What I think the author is doing, is making fun of cliches, while at the same time providing an interesting plot and a whole assortment of quirky characters. While the climax is hilarious, it's written, as is the whole book, straight-forward and serious. It that sense, it's not like any book I've read, and may be why some people aren't sure how to take it.
I'd say, give it a chance. You'll be pleasantly surprised.

[Lisa · Rating 5 out of 5]

So much different than other books I've read by this author, but great scifi satire. I can't say I ever read a book quite like this one by any author. It takes several scifi and noir clichés and plays with them--satirizes them, while running a very serious plotline. Reviving the persona of Marilyn Monroe as a celebudroid was genius--to have her converted to a police detective was inspired. Sex is one of the underlying themes here (but there's no sex involving Marilyn), and it's sex which is the ultimate savior of mankind. The "climatic" scene is hilarious.

[Vickie · Rating 5 out of 5]

TPB, SUPER DUPER!!! Sci-fi mystery of the finest kind.