I discovered this book when my sister clued me in that my niece has been reading them, and asked me to pick up a few. She burned through the "Wimpy Kid" series, and I read one of those in the bookstore cafe in a single sitting, openly guffawing at several hilarious lines. It bummed me out that my niece didn't have a similarly cynical, selfish protagonist to root for, and thought that might be the case for Dork Diaries.
Um...no.
First of all, who is the dork in this series, exactly? When I think of a dork, I think of someone with an eccentric personality perpetually rejected by her peers, but who maybe manages to have a blast anyway (with her fellow band/art/ writing dorks). Nikki isn't a dork. She's Jenny Humphrey from Gossip Girl. She's desperate to be cool, the only not-rich kid in an elite private school, with curious artistic talent that she somehow finds the time to nurture in between thinking exclusively shallow, uninteresting thoughts. In other words, Jenny Humphrey...except Jenny actually got rejected by boys every once in awhile, and it's all a cakewalk for this "dork". Her friends don't seem to suffer much, either, unless you call "looking like Beyonce" suffering. Even the twins from Sweet Valley High were bigger dorks than this. Even "Pretty Little Liars" is dorkier than this. Every character appears to be thin, well-groomed, and immaculately dressed. When was the last time you encountered a middle school kid who met any of those qualifications?
Second, this "dork" is actually mean. She hates the pretty girl for being pretty, draws a number of pictures mocking the people who are actually dorks, constantly gripes about people who are "weird" or "different" and spends a majority of her time pursuing social acceptance from the people she claims to hate. Her primary preoccupation is whether she'll ever be popular, but it's never explained why this is so important to her. Most kids with this ambition don't have much else going on. When was the last time you met an art dork who actually wanted to hang out with the cool kids? Ridiculous.
Third, it's completely unrealistic. And when I say that, I mean middle school kids don't talk like this, act like this, communicate this way, etc. For God's sake, her friends *tape a note to the front of her locker* to tell her where they will be. That's possibly the dumbest thing I've ever heard. What's secret and covert about that, exactly? Even before cell phones we still had the sense to fold the note and pass it. Her father picks her up from school to go to a funeral with him...a funeral for someone she doesn't even know, so he can schmooze with other exterminators. Is this a joke? Why would you schmooze with other exterminators, exactly? I suppose it could be, except the book isn't funny -- at all.
A third grader should not read this book. A third grade girl doesn't need to think that all she should think about is boys and popularity. They should not think this is the pink version of the Wimpy Kid books. This is a pink version of pink. Even Strawberry Shortcake hates this book.
Fourth, it's a total rip off. Almost every idea, image, and scene from this book is a rip off of some other teen book or television show. Roach on top of the car of the exterminator? King of the Hill. Snoopy dance? Buffy the Vampire Slayer. Did they select editors for this series that have recently returned from a deserted island where there was no exposure to books, movies, television shows, magazines, or any other facet of pop culture?
Fifth, the writing is terrible. And it isn't funny -- at all. Several of the attempts to be funny are so bad I rolled my eyes and almost stopped reading. It's actually painful to read. When I think of what I want my niece to read, it's funny, rich, interesting books that offer an idea of girlhood that differs from a subscription to Us Weekly. This is likely reading about the perspective of that Barbie Doll that used to say "I Hate Math!" when you turned her head a certain way. The author doesn't seem to know what to make Nikki do, so she strung together a bunch of tropes and cliches, and somehow got a book deal. Even worse: people buy these books.
Not me. I took them back, and exchanged them for some journals to encourage my niece to keep writing her own stories. That seems a way better option than exposing her to this.