Dear Deb: A Woman with Cancer, a Friend with Secrets, and the Letters That Became Their Miracle

by Margaret Terry

"I want you to know that if my illness inspired you to write these stories, the cancer was worth it."—Deb


What stories could possibly make cancer worth it?


Stories that represent a miracle—a lifetime of miracles. Stories that changed the writer as she wrote them and stories that will touch the heart of the reader, one by one by one. Stories that are not just stories.


They started out as words of encouragement to a dying woman. They turned into a collection of sparkling and intimate moments, pulled from the past to finally be understood and shared with new meaning.


Story by story, letter by letter, Margaret Terry uncovered powerful pictures in her own life of the one truth that could help carry her friend Deb from this life to the next: God is at work.


Together, Deb and Margaret found renewed hope in all the ways God shows up right to the very end. Which is where they found the miracle they'd been praying for all along. In each other.

Genres: Nonfiction, Book Club, Christian, Biography

240 pages, Paperback

First published October 9, 2012

About the author

Margaret Terry is a writer, speaker and award winning author of "Dear Deb, A Woman with Cancer, A Friend with Secrets and the letters that Became Their Miracle" She is a contributor to mariashriver.com and has written for Today's Christian, the Minneapolis Star Tribune, & The Hamilton Spectator. She leads one of the largest book clubs in Canada with over a hundred members and loves how sharing stories helps build new friendships. Margaret is a foodie whose love of food has taken her to over thirty seven countries. No matter where she’s traveled or dined, her favorite thing to do is to cook for friends and family and tell stories at her own dinner table.

Reviews

[Alanna Rusnak · Rating 5 out of 5]

Just beautiful. I'm pretty sure I cried no less than 10 times during the reading of this! It's tender and honest. The vivid descriptions and vulnerability left me craving more of Margaret's stories.

This is not the type of book I'm normally drawn to (I tend to lose myself in campy fiction rather than pick up something that might pull at my heart strings) but it's a darling little blessing dressed in blue! A beautiful reminder that there are miracles all around us all the time!

[Deacon Tom (Feeling Better) · Rating 4 out of 5]

Very touching. More so for me because I have leukemia.

[Jeanette Thomason · Rating 5 out of 5]

A letter can be so powerful, writes Alexandra Stoddard in one of the most lovely of books, *Gift of a Letter,* and she is right. A letter can stir you and leave you with a piece of someone, the mark of their hand, the intentions of their heart. And a letter can save your life. Too often we miss this with crass texts and instant e-notes and phone conversations. But Margaret Terry knew the powerful truth of lasting letters the day she began writing them to her friend Deb, dying of cancer. Doctors gave Deb no hope for health or healing. But Deb believed in a miracle, and she asked her friends to do the same. So Margaret proclaimed that belief in 102 letters containing stories of hope over six months. Only the miracle and the hope were not Deb's. They were Margaret's. The incredible story of Margaret and Deb's miracle is so beautifully shared in the book *Dear Deb: A Woman with Cancer, A Friend with Secrets, and the Letters that Became Their Miracle.* The book is uplifting, the letters stirring, the story of Margaret and Deb's long journey together unforgettable. While I love so many of the letters in this book, perhaps my favorite is "God Shows Up," midway through, because at a time when Margaret herself felt no hope, a friend left her a Bible among the overdue bill notices in her mailbox. The short note attached read, "Read me fifteen minutes a day," and wished Margaret the gift of Luke 1:37. Margaret wondered what would happen if she did as the note directed. Would she shrink like Alice, who down the rabbit hole in Wonderland finds with the note "Drink Me" on a small bottle of liquid and finds it to be a reducing potion? Curious and fearless, Margaret does read and discovers she does not shrink but the Bible grows enormous, its stories of grace and God showing up just when things look bad, very bad, gripping her imagination and growing with possibilities for her own life. Margaret finds the Bible is God's love letter to us. She finds a miracle, and another, and another; and the story of this to Deb offers yet another ... but never like any of us expect because that is how God is, mysterious as a potion in a bottle, yet with properties just as powerful for seeping into us with his grace. The story of Margaret and Deb will get you like that too. You will read the letters and they will seep into you, their message that there are miracles out there waiting. How we need that. As Deb tells Margaret the last time they eat lunch together, "If my illness inspired you to write these stories, the cancer was worth it." When I read this I wondered: *Really? Is cancer ever worth it?* And then I remembered some of the many I've loved who have been taken by cancer but never lost to it for they lived beautiful lives and their stories are passed along like that potion, as is written in that beautiful love letter from God, in 2 Corinthians 3:2: "You, yourselves are our letter, written on our hearts, known and read by everybody." You are the miracle. I am the miracle. Deb was a miracle. Margaret is a miracle. The miracles are all around us, love letters, each one. If this beautiful book by Margaret Terry could talk, I believe it would say READ ME, and I believe it will enlarge the possibilities of your life.

[Karen Deblieck · Rating 5 out of 5]

Dear Deb isn't your typical book about cancer. Instead of focusing on her ailment Deb focuses on the miracle that is sure to happen.

That miracle is this book.

Margaret Terry successfully captures the essence of life in her book while looking at the ups and downs of her own journey.
This book is about the tiny miracles along our paths.
About finding grace in the everyday.
About truly seeing what our time on earth is,
and what is beyond.

Terry's graciousness and unique way of seeing the world shines through on every page.

I highly recommend this book.
It will bless you.
And that, is the miracle.

[Suzanne Benner · Rating 4 out of 5]

Long title aside, this was a great read. The title makes it sound like another sad cancer story, when in reality it is comprised of stories from the author's life that she wrote to encourage her friend. You will see how God is always at work - if only we will notice.

At the 2013 Word Awards (sponsored by the Word Guild of Canada) this book won both the Book - Life Stories and the Book - General Market.

[Julia · Rating 3 out of 5]

I got this book thinking that it was from the person who had cancer, but it turned out that the letters were written to a person who had it. Oops.


CONS OF DEAR DEB

Personally speaking, I just don't have the same faith as the person in this book, so some of those letters about the way they had their services and worshipped God just didn't sit well with me.


PROS OF DEAR DEB

All I can really think of is the fact that it caused me to even read the whole thing. Not quite sure how it did that.


OVERALL

I just was kind of waiting the whole book for the miracle that they talked about in the description, but it never seemed to come?? Not quite sure what to make of that.

[Teri · Rating 5 out of 5]

The first lines that went straight to my heart in Margaret Terry’s book Dear Deb, a collection of 55 letters written to a friend dying of cancer, came two pages into the book. In the introduction, called The Inspiration, Terry relates that she was surprised to have been asked to pray for Deb, and “believe in my miracle.” Terry admits that she was a church friend to Deb, but they weren’t close. She knew that Deb was a capable and energetic woman, she loved Motown and hockey, but outside church she and Deb didn’t socialize. Terry goes on to say, “I’m not sure why this happens in churches. We hug the same people every Sunday for years, we watch their children grow, and we share their trials and joys, yet for some reason we limit our friendship to church.” “True, so very, very true,” I marveled. “And if Margaret Terry is able to nail down that situation in two sentences, what other treasures are in this book?” Well, there are dozens of treasures in Dear Deb! I have several favorite stories in the book, but I love the story of Crowning Mary, probably because I can recall similar May celebrations from my own days at St John’s Catholic Elementary School in Seattle, Washington. Crowning Mary is a beautiful story full of innocence and faith, and it includes a miracle that will make you smile for days.
The old-fashioned name for a book made up of letters is epistolary. This being the 21st century, Terry’s letters were originally composed as emails, and were sent daily to Deb, who had been diagnosed with inoperable lung cancer. They were a form of encouragement which Deb asked her friends to send her as support while she endured cancer treatment and waited for her miracle. Over time, as Terry’s letters went beyond platitudes, she found that sharing her moments of failure and fear were, paradoxically, a way of sending strength to Deb, and they also were an avenue for Terry to unburden her own secret past. Through that process of letter writing, Terry shares with us the great truth that God doesn’t abandon us when we and our world break apart, but He comes close, and cares for us through it all.
Here’s is my take away from Dear Deb – maybe the broken pieces of your life aren’t meant to be put back together the way you think. Maybe a jagged piece of your story is meant to heal the brokenness of someone else’s life. But that won’t happen if you don’t share your story and let the Master Potter use it as only He can. I believe that in Dear Deb, a book that touches both your heart and your funny bone, you will see this amazing process at work.
Review of Dear Deb in 140 characters or fewer: “You’ll need Kleenex, you’ll laugh out loud, you’ll be stunned, and you’ll be inspired. Read it!”

[Rebecca Mckenzie · Rating 5 out of 5]

I thoroughly enjoyed reading Margaret's book. Her writing style is superb and it's a great book to use as a daily devotional too! Dear Deb is based on letters that Margaret wrote to her friend Deb to help her through her cancer journey and became part of her miracle. Days before Deb's passing she told Margaret that her cancer was worth it if these letters were written as a result. You can't help but fall in love with the stories and relate them back to your own life. My favourite story was "Candle Love" which struck a particular chord in me. My kids are always claiming that I love one more than the other and I loved Margaret's ease with how she demonstrated a mothers unconditional and undying love to her two boys by lighting candles - it made we want to borrow this wisdom and demonstrate the same idea to my 3 children. Kudos to you Margaret for opening up your heart and persevering through tougher, difficult times and enlightening me with your words! Looking forward to reading more of your letters and books in the future!

[Carolyn Wales · Rating 5 out of 5]

A beautiful story told by a beautiful author

[Chautona Havig · Rating 4 out of 5]

Part memoir, part epistolary nonfiction, part encouragement wrapped up in relatable vignettes, Dear Deb takes the reader on a journey of self-discovery as the author goes through her own moments of self-discovery in an attempt to encourage someone else.
Stories of ordinary life point to an extraordinary impact not only on those in her immediate world but now on those who read this book.
Encouraging, funny, sad--this book has all the feels and reminders to look to the Lord, too.

[Denise DiFalco · Rating 5 out of 5]

Margaret Terry's DEAR DEB will make us all realize there must be a God and that his miracles do exist. This is a true account of a young woman afflicted with both brain and lung cancer and her quest to find a miracle. Margaret Terry knowing Deb as an acquaintance through Church has a desire to encourage her with her writings. The finished book is a lovely account of how God truly works in mysterious ways. Margaret digs deep into her past to send passages of hope to Deb on a regular basis. The bond that is created is bittersweet because the author knows that it will be short lived, Deb is not getting better. The letters are 'the miracles' that Deb needed to get through each day and Ms. Terry enjoys doing this for her. The reader will find a real miracle in Deb's words as she states to Margaret the following '"If my illness inspired you to write these stories, the cancer was worth it."' Deb knew God and she believed in his promises. She knew her body would be whole in Heaven and she had no doubt as to where she was going. This book was a priviledge to read for the Book Sneeze network in exchange for my review. I am and will be a better person for reading this. Deb is a hero, to be able to thank God under such circumstances and to share her last months with us and Margaret Terry is also a hero for sticking by Deb's side knowing the heartbreak she would feel when she was gone. This book brought back memories of my best friend who passed away in 2003 of pancreatic cancer. It was very emotional for me but also one of the most inspiring books that I have read in 2012. I wasn't able to put it down.

[Chechen · Rating 4 out of 5]

This is not your usual book about cancer. Deb centers on the miracle that is sure to happen instead of focusing on her cancer. And that miracle is this book.

Margaret Terry wrote this book and the title says it all. Dear Deb: A Woman with Cancer, a Friend with Secrets, and the Letters That Became Their Miracle. Stories that are not just stories. This book is about the small miracles in our everyday life, about finding grace along our journey and seeing what our time on earth is and what is beyond. This is an inspiring book composed of letters about hope and faith.

It contains several verses that could change your life like it changed mine. You will feel the comfort of God's love right the moment you read this book. "I want you to know that if my illness inspired you to write these stories, the cancer was worth it."--Deb

Nothing is Impossible with God!

[Chris · Rating 5 out of 5]

I could have finished this book in one day, but once I started I realized that this was one to savor. Each letter describes an intimate story or just daily life, which highlighted everyday miracles & or takeaway lessons. The letters bonded the two women in ways unexpected and impacted the lives of many others who were touched by them. Some are amusing, others made me cry, some made me say "ah yes" to myself, there are kernels of wisdom and moving stories. She wrote 102 letters to Deb over the span of 6 months & chose 55 to make up the book. Each letter is framed at the end by scripture, (which I just think was done for the book) which drives home a message and give pause for reflection.

[Vitta · Rating 5 out of 5]

Раньше, когда мне встречались книги с указанием читать по одной главе в день и оставлять себе время на размышления, я недоумевала, как это можно сделать. Я привыкла "упиваться" книгой, отлаживая ее только перевернув последнюю страницу. С этой же совсем другая история. Ее я читала очень долго. Эта книга представляет собой сборник писем к умирающей от рака женщине, и я читала по одному письму в день, как будто эти письма приходили мне. В каждом из этих писем заложен огромный смысл: о прощении ли,о терпении, о вере в Бога, о силе воли или просто о доброте и поддержке. Ни одно из них не оставило меня равнодушной. Единственное, о чем я сожалею, это то, что изданы были не все письма и не печатаются ответы Дэб на них.

[Hyacinth · Rating 5 out of 5]

This book was recommended by a co-worker and what a thought provoking read it was! I for some reason was reminded of the widow's mite in scripture. She gave all she had but it was the pure heart that moved God. Margaret was uncomfortable with the trappings of what we would call in religion but what she could give was her gift, the gift of writing and in that she found her freedom, her miracle and ultimately God. This was a quick read because I didn't want to put it down. It touched my heart for those that hurt in their emotions and don't have a voice. A voice can be found in writing, it may bless you and others like it did for Deb and Margaret.

[Kathy · Rating 5 out of 5]

Beautiful, heartwarming and heartbreaking stories written to a friend dying of cancer. Terry is a superb storyteller, weaving emotions and vividly recalled details of her life to share and create a miracle for her friend. The details are of the writer's life but the feelings they evoke are universal as are the lessons learned.

[Mary · Rating 5 out of 5]

Margaret Terry does an amazing job painting stories with her pen. I loved getting to know her through her letters, all the while wondering how Deb was doing and what she thought of each vulnerable paragraph. It's a beautifully written book that will stick with me a long time. That's the power of stories told well.

[Debbie Petersen Wolven · Rating 3 out of 5]

Picked this one up at the library sale. I enjoyed the stories the author told and look forward to having the holes filled when she publishes in the future. However, I felt cheated out of Deb's story. She had cancer, these letters were written, we meet her finally at the end and she is gone.

[Kristen · Rating 2 out of 5]

Free Ebook. Just okay.

[Haleigh Green]

I want to read it

[Les Reynolds · Rating 5 out of 5]

Embarrassed it took me this long to read. Loved it.

[Nem · Rating 5 out of 5]

Super inspiring! ♥

[Rita · Rating 3 out of 5]

This was a book of letters sent from an acquaintance-turned-something-more to a woman dying from cancer. I think the letters were meant to be soul bearing or, perhaps, inspirational, maybe just motivational. In the end, while I found it amazing that she took the time to pen over 100 letters in 6 months, the compilation was disjointed and left me with more questions than answers about the writer’s life. I didn’t get much more insight than she had moved from being Catholic to some version of Protestant. Overall, I wouldn’t buy a book by this author. I would probably just grab a copy of Guideposts or some version of the Chicken Soup books if looking for something heartwarming.

[Mardi Linane · Rating 5 out of 5]

What a beautiful gift of love you will find in this book

I loved, fancied, adored this book for all the reasons you hope to love a book. You will appreciate my joke if you read it for yourself. It is obvious Margaret Terry has been a storyteller since childhood when you breeze through her gorgeously spun phrases with ease; perfectly painting the canvas with visualizations and visceral feelings of every breeze, breath and tear that falls or gets stuck in your throat. This quality of writing only comes with hundreds of thousands of words and hours of practice or, a lifetime of observations turned into words that make us feel loved by them.

[Analie · Rating 4 out of 5]

I didn't realize until I began reading that this book is a series of letters from Deb's friend. Her anecdotes about her life are short and inspiring - exactly the type of book I would find soothing were I going through illness. What most captured me was the ironic twist, that the author was the one who discovered healing as she explored her life in letters to Deb, the friend with cancer. Writing is powerful, friendship is powerful, and vulnerability... Vulnerability is empowering. God uses our stories.

[Amy Meador · Rating 5 out of 5]

I got my friend and I each a copy of this book to read together. I thought it looked like an easy read, and she has suffered from cancer more than once in her life.

At first, I wasn’t really sure the direction it was going with its simplistic style of just written letters. However, the deeper I got into it, the more it hit deep into my life. Very thought-provoking! I may actually reread this and highlight and underline things, the next time through.

[Liesel · Rating 3 out of 5]

Audiobook. Not well written but was a nice inspirational hit to listen to in the car. I did enjoy the Bible verses that were interspersed. It was a nice way to start my morning listening to little inspirational stories that could easily be picked up and put down. I don't think I would have enjoyed this as much if I had actually read it (as opposed to listening to it).

[Abbie Liu · Rating 5 out of 5]

Every chapter makes me cry! Beautiful book.

[Vanessa · Rating 4 out of 5]

An interesting way to share your story. I enjoyed it and it was uplifting.

[Dani · Rating 5 out of 5]

Great book, couldn't put it down!