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Stranger Here: How Weight-Loss Surgery Transformed My Body and Messed with My Head
The brutally honest, surprisingly hilarious story of one woman's journey from one extreme of the weight spectrum to the other, and of the unexpected emotional chaos it created.
Jen Larsen always thought that if she could only lose some weight, she would be unstoppable. So when diet after diet failed, she decided to try bariatric sugery. It worked better than she ever dreamed--she lost 180 pounds! As the weight fell away, though, Larsen realized that getting skinny was not the cure she thought it would be--and that suddenly she wasn't sure who she was anymore.
Insightful and unsparing in her self-examination, Larsen depicts the devastating lows and exhilarating highs she experienced as a result of her weight loss--the crushing pain and confusion of feeling like a stranger in her own body after losing the weight that has always defined her, and the incredible joy of finally beginning to look like the image of herself she's always carried inside her head.
Jen Larsen always thought that if she could only lose some weight, she would be unstoppable. So when diet after diet failed, she decided to try bariatric sugery. It worked better than she ever dreamed--she lost 180 pounds! As the weight fell away, though, Larsen realized that getting skinny was not the cure she thought it would be--and that suddenly she wasn't sure who she was anymore.
Insightful and unsparing in her self-examination, Larsen depicts the devastating lows and exhilarating highs she experienced as a result of her weight loss--the crushing pain and confusion of feeling like a stranger in her own body after losing the weight that has always defined her, and the incredible joy of finally beginning to look like the image of herself she's always carried inside her head.
267 pages, Paperback
First published February 19, 2013
30 people are currently reading
1266 people want to read
About the author
Jen Larsen
6 books101 followersJen Larsen is the author of Future Perfect and Stranger Here: How Weight Loss Surgery Transformed My Body and Messed With My Head. She has an MFA in creative writing from the University of San Francisco and currently lives in Vancouver, BC. Find her at jenlarsen.net.
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Displaying 1 - 30 of 195 reviews
February 5, 2013
totally unbiased rating.
February 6, 2013
As a fellow weight loss surgery patient, reading this book was like listening to someone describe a visit to a city I know very well: parts of it were exactly like my experience and had me nodding my head in agreement, and parts of it were a totally different view of the same exact thing that opened my eyes. Jen's retelling of her experience is honest (sometimes painfully so) and written in such a way that I couldn't help but tear through it in one night. It hit close to home for me, and made me think about my own experiences in a different light. If you are looking for a "fat girl gets skinny and takes over the world and is happy ever after" story, this is not the book you are looking for. If you are looking for a "fat girl does drastic things to change her life and it's hard but she comes out on top even though things are still not perfect", then read this now.
One thing is for sure though....this is a necessary read for anyone who thinks weight loss surgery is "the easy way out." This book is proof that it is anything but.
One thing is for sure though....this is a necessary read for anyone who thinks weight loss surgery is "the easy way out." This book is proof that it is anything but.
December 4, 2013
EDIT: I read this book in a single day. It reminds me of I'm Not the New Me by Wendy McClure.
Jen Larsen has written a memoir about what it was like to have weight loss surgery and lose a great deal of weight. In her early 30s and living in San Francisco, she was aware of the Fat Acceptance and Health at Every Size movement (and the back of the book lists some resources on those topics), but she seems to have felt kind of helpless to incorporate their ideas into her own life - and I can understand the attitude, like, good for them but that would never work for ME because I am awful and could never have confidence or self-esteem, etc. When she starts researching surgery, she kind of knows that she's glossing over the reality of what having major surgery is like, in favor of looking at before and after pictures and fantasizing about how her life will change into perfection after she loses a bunch of weight. She's obsessed, and she goes ahead with the surgery.
And despite not being able to stay with the restricted diet that prevents too much malabsorption of vitamins, despite still smoking and drinking alcohol, she escapes major complications and loses over 100 pounds in a year. So that's the story. And it was interesting to read, but some elements were so frustratingly unfinished in the book:
I don't know if this is a blog-to-book or not, but I suspect it might be. It reads like it is.
Jen Larsen has written a memoir about what it was like to have weight loss surgery and lose a great deal of weight. In her early 30s and living in San Francisco, she was aware of the Fat Acceptance and Health at Every Size movement (and the back of the book lists some resources on those topics), but she seems to have felt kind of helpless to incorporate their ideas into her own life - and I can understand the attitude, like, good for them but that would never work for ME because I am awful and could never have confidence or self-esteem, etc. When she starts researching surgery, she kind of knows that she's glossing over the reality of what having major surgery is like, in favor of looking at before and after pictures and fantasizing about how her life will change into perfection after she loses a bunch of weight. She's obsessed, and she goes ahead with the surgery.
And despite not being able to stay with the restricted diet that prevents too much malabsorption of vitamins, despite still smoking and drinking alcohol, she escapes major complications and loses over 100 pounds in a year. So that's the story. And it was interesting to read, but some elements were so frustratingly unfinished in the book:
I don't know if this is a blog-to-book or not, but I suspect it might be. It reads like it is.
June 6, 2013
This book triggered the fuck out of me. I'm glad it exists and I'm glad the author was so honest and open with her experience and feelings. But reading it knocked me down several pegs on my attempts to feel like a decent human being who also happens to be fat. The hyper focus on feeling observed and judged for appearance and weight, while viewed critically in the book, also managed to get into my head and cause some unfun drama. I thought this book was going to be a little more focused on the "fat can be ok" side rather than "everyone was so happy I lost weight and even though the surgery thing was fucked up I'm still glad I did it" side. And I am ambivalent about the author having those feelings. But I guess I'm more fragile than I thought when it comes to dealing with the rest of the world's opinions about fat people and value and shame and what matters.
I'm just venting a little and expressing some caution for other people who might be curious about this book but maybe on the fence about what to expose themselves to when it comes to issues about body image and fat and judgement. I am not judging the author for her experience or arguing that she should have done or written anything different. I'm not being critical of the book itself in terms of quality or content or whatever. (I couldn't put it down when reading!) I just got tossed down an unfortunate rabbit hole due to my own personal circumstance and wanted to react to that and warn others who might be in a similar state of mind.
I'm just venting a little and expressing some caution for other people who might be curious about this book but maybe on the fence about what to expose themselves to when it comes to issues about body image and fat and judgement. I am not judging the author for her experience or arguing that she should have done or written anything different. I'm not being critical of the book itself in terms of quality or content or whatever. (I couldn't put it down when reading!) I just got tossed down an unfortunate rabbit hole due to my own personal circumstance and wanted to react to that and warn others who might be in a similar state of mind.
March 23, 2013
Jen Larsen used to weigh over 300lbs. One day, she decided that weight loss surgery was the only way she was going to lose weight and start living her life, because obviously everything would be fixed by losing weight. Stranger Here tells the story of her weight loss journey and how she came to realise that being thin didn't fix everything.
Reading this was like sitting down with a friend over a bottle of wine and listening to them unload - very easy to read but frustrating all the same, because you want to put your hands on her shoulders and shake her throughout her journey. I didn't get a massive 'journey' feel to this book either - it's more like the story of how she decided to have the surgery without finding out very much because dieting was too frigging hard and boring, didn't listen to their advice on how to eat and still probably doesn't listen to it. I'm surprised she doesn't actually have massive health problems. I didn't get much of a sense of an 'aha' moment or turning point and I kinda felt like Jen would be that friend who frustrates you but you love all the same.
That said, there is some wonderful writing and I highlighted quite a few passages that were just beautiful, passages about body image and how you can feel so uncomfortable in your own skin. I just felt as if this was more a brain dump than a carefully crafted memoir.
Reading this was like sitting down with a friend over a bottle of wine and listening to them unload - very easy to read but frustrating all the same, because you want to put your hands on her shoulders and shake her throughout her journey. I didn't get a massive 'journey' feel to this book either - it's more like the story of how she decided to have the surgery without finding out very much because dieting was too frigging hard and boring, didn't listen to their advice on how to eat and still probably doesn't listen to it. I'm surprised she doesn't actually have massive health problems. I didn't get much of a sense of an 'aha' moment or turning point and I kinda felt like Jen would be that friend who frustrates you but you love all the same.
That said, there is some wonderful writing and I highlighted quite a few passages that were just beautiful, passages about body image and how you can feel so uncomfortable in your own skin. I just felt as if this was more a brain dump than a carefully crafted memoir.
August 11, 2013
Jen Larsen writes well, but she doesn't really get into what the title of the book indicates she will. There's a lot more about her pre-weight-loss life and far less about the "after." As someone who lost a lot of weight myself (but who didn't have bariatric surgery), I was more interested in reading about the familiar shock of realizing that the world indeed sees you as more intelligent, funnier and, of course, far more attractive, just because you've dropped some body weight. I also felt quite sad for her because she had postponed so much of life because of her size and was staying with a boyfriend who, while sweet, clearly wasn't all that into her. I did find it interesting that she thought all her problems would disappear with the pounds, but that's a natural fantasy, I guess. There's a certain disconnect with this book, though, because there's a lot of love-yourself-as-you-are rhetoric, but the joy of being thin definitely shines through. She didn't touch on the thing that shocked me most: The biggest difference in how people treat you isn't when you go from being morbidly obese to being chubby but when you go from being chubby to thin -- and that's only in the last 30 pounds or so.
May 8, 2013
Before my review let me state that I do not read Ms. Larsen's blog and I have no plans to start reading her blog. I am critiquing her book and journey based purely on the information she shares in her book. If there is actions she took that she did not mention, before you flame me(and all flames will be ignored and I will just think you are an ass), remember I have no way of knowing about them if they were not in her book. Also I seriously doubt that my opinion is going to affect Ms. Larsen's feelings or book sales. There are many of you out there that seem to simply love this book and its author, I'm happy that you enjoyed this book and are so supportive of her. For me however...I found myself being very angry with her actions and the example she was setting for other people. I am still glad I read the book, and the third star of my rating was earned in that epilogue alone where she tells other to do as she says not as she has done! I am donating my copy of this book to the library where I work, and I will recommend it to my patrons as a cautionary tale of what not to do. I am not against W.L.S., for some it truly is a tool and the only option left to a healthier lifestyle.
Now a little bit about me, for context in reading why I am so critical. I once weighed over 400 pounds. I have been losing weight for the past three years and have recently reached the 200 pounds lost mark. I still have 40 pounds to go before I reach my goal weight and I hope to reach it this year, if I don't that's okay I KNOW I will get there eventually. I did not have any sort of surgery, I did not use any gimmicks, pills, powders, starvation or other crazy stupid unhealthy diet (example: cutting all carbs, or dairy or only eating cabbage). I lost my weight through learning to control my portions, count calories and then eliminating unhealthy food from my diet, learning to eat vegetables, cutting sodium and red meat. I changed my relationship with food and how I ate, then I added exercise so that my body would be healthy and not just thin.
This book made me angry because it seemed like Ms. Larsen just woke up one day and deciding that she had to have weight loss surgery to fix everything wrong in her life. The book makes it sound like she did not even try to lose her weight through life style changes, eating right and exercise. She had her mind set on surgery and that was going to be the only way. Of course by the sounds of it the weight loss industry that revolves around these surgeries fed this lie and stream rolled her and others into getting it done. It sounds as if these companies only care about making sure you are a candidate and are approved so they get get your $$$. They hand you a list of doctors to go see that of course are going to rubber stamp you and not actually question your motives or mentality. Do they even try to educate their patients about the non-surgical methods of losing weight and that IT IS POSSIBLE! DIETS DON'T ALWAYS FAIL! You need to have some willpower, and really that comes pretty quick once you start losing weight. You just have to want it bad enough to work for it. There is no quick fix, there is no easy way, even surgery is not an easy way as Ms. Larsen discovers, and losing weight is not going to automatically fix what is wrong in your life or head any more than say moving across the country. I was really disappointed that she couldn't even bring herself to lose the 20 pounds the doctors recommended before surgery. They are going to be preforming an operation that is going to alter your life and body for ever, don't you think you should listen to what they are telling you to do! She wanted the change but didn't want to have to do any work for it. She did not earn her weight loss, if she had maybe it would have not messed with her mind as much. By earn, I mean make any changes at all in her diet or way of living, she continued to not exercise and continued to eat crap. I still eat crap too, but I do so in moderation, but on the whole I know that I want to reach my goal weight a hell of a lot more than I want that slice of pizza...and I really miss pizza. It wasn't until she realized that the weight she lost was not going to fix all that was wrong in her life did she start to examine her eating habits and lack of exercise. I don't think she ever gave up the drinking and smoking. It was then that I began to start to respect the author even a little, she had redeemed herself in my eyes.
Everyone who has a significant amount of weight to lose has to find their own way and this is Ms. Larsen's journey. They also must choose it for themselves not for those around them. I do agree with her at the end Life is easier when you are thinner, it is a shame that our society puts thinness on such a high pedestal because we are ostracizing some pretty amazing people out there that don't fit into into societies parameters of acceptance. While I don't approve of her methods I am happy for her for her results. Everyone deserves to be happy and to have what they want, and I hope that she is finally at a place in her life. I hope she has changed her self-destructive behavior and continues to do well in life.
Like I said I am glad I read the book and am going to encourage others to read it as well. In the end it makes me really happy and thankful that I chose to lose weight the way I did, through determination and hard work. After I am done losing I am going to know how to keep it off, I will have my own set of tools and knowledge to help me stay healthy and active for the rest of my like. Sometimes W.L.S is not permanent, it is not a guarantee that you will keep the weight off forever. If you do not change your eating habits your relationship with food you can gain it all back despite having surgery. My way might have been slower, but it was healthier and a whole hell of a lot less expensive. I also have not had these side effects that she talks about throughout the second half of the book. Please if you are reading this book thinking about having one of these surgeries, please....please try my way first. Try changing your diet and exercising. I lost 200 pound, it can be done. If you succeed you saved yourself a ton of money and possible complications. Surgery is always an option, but once it is done it can't be undone. If you do opt for surgery talk to many different doctors and doctors not on the list these clinics give you. Know all your options before hand and all the possible complications.
Now a little bit about me, for context in reading why I am so critical. I once weighed over 400 pounds. I have been losing weight for the past three years and have recently reached the 200 pounds lost mark. I still have 40 pounds to go before I reach my goal weight and I hope to reach it this year, if I don't that's okay I KNOW I will get there eventually. I did not have any sort of surgery, I did not use any gimmicks, pills, powders, starvation or other crazy stupid unhealthy diet (example: cutting all carbs, or dairy or only eating cabbage). I lost my weight through learning to control my portions, count calories and then eliminating unhealthy food from my diet, learning to eat vegetables, cutting sodium and red meat. I changed my relationship with food and how I ate, then I added exercise so that my body would be healthy and not just thin.
This book made me angry because it seemed like Ms. Larsen just woke up one day and deciding that she had to have weight loss surgery to fix everything wrong in her life. The book makes it sound like she did not even try to lose her weight through life style changes, eating right and exercise. She had her mind set on surgery and that was going to be the only way. Of course by the sounds of it the weight loss industry that revolves around these surgeries fed this lie and stream rolled her and others into getting it done. It sounds as if these companies only care about making sure you are a candidate and are approved so they get get your $$$. They hand you a list of doctors to go see that of course are going to rubber stamp you and not actually question your motives or mentality. Do they even try to educate their patients about the non-surgical methods of losing weight and that IT IS POSSIBLE! DIETS DON'T ALWAYS FAIL! You need to have some willpower, and really that comes pretty quick once you start losing weight. You just have to want it bad enough to work for it. There is no quick fix, there is no easy way, even surgery is not an easy way as Ms. Larsen discovers, and losing weight is not going to automatically fix what is wrong in your life or head any more than say moving across the country. I was really disappointed that she couldn't even bring herself to lose the 20 pounds the doctors recommended before surgery. They are going to be preforming an operation that is going to alter your life and body for ever, don't you think you should listen to what they are telling you to do! She wanted the change but didn't want to have to do any work for it. She did not earn her weight loss, if she had maybe it would have not messed with her mind as much. By earn, I mean make any changes at all in her diet or way of living, she continued to not exercise and continued to eat crap. I still eat crap too, but I do so in moderation, but on the whole I know that I want to reach my goal weight a hell of a lot more than I want that slice of pizza...and I really miss pizza. It wasn't until she realized that the weight she lost was not going to fix all that was wrong in her life did she start to examine her eating habits and lack of exercise. I don't think she ever gave up the drinking and smoking. It was then that I began to start to respect the author even a little, she had redeemed herself in my eyes.
Everyone who has a significant amount of weight to lose has to find their own way and this is Ms. Larsen's journey. They also must choose it for themselves not for those around them. I do agree with her at the end Life is easier when you are thinner, it is a shame that our society puts thinness on such a high pedestal because we are ostracizing some pretty amazing people out there that don't fit into into societies parameters of acceptance. While I don't approve of her methods I am happy for her for her results. Everyone deserves to be happy and to have what they want, and I hope that she is finally at a place in her life. I hope she has changed her self-destructive behavior and continues to do well in life.
Like I said I am glad I read the book and am going to encourage others to read it as well. In the end it makes me really happy and thankful that I chose to lose weight the way I did, through determination and hard work. After I am done losing I am going to know how to keep it off, I will have my own set of tools and knowledge to help me stay healthy and active for the rest of my like. Sometimes W.L.S is not permanent, it is not a guarantee that you will keep the weight off forever. If you do not change your eating habits your relationship with food you can gain it all back despite having surgery. My way might have been slower, but it was healthier and a whole hell of a lot less expensive. I also have not had these side effects that she talks about throughout the second half of the book. Please if you are reading this book thinking about having one of these surgeries, please....please try my way first. Try changing your diet and exercising. I lost 200 pound, it can be done. If you succeed you saved yourself a ton of money and possible complications. Surgery is always an option, but once it is done it can't be undone. If you do opt for surgery talk to many different doctors and doctors not on the list these clinics give you. Know all your options before hand and all the possible complications.
March 12, 2013
Jen Larsen's book was a wonderful surprise. I stumbled upon her work from a friend I met in Bali, and ordered her book pre-release, sight unseen to most of Jen's story or body of work. Once it was delivered to my kindle, I couldn't put it down! Her writing is brilliant, captivating, touching, heart-warming, brave, and funny. I read dozens of books on my two month trip abroad, and Jen's was hands-down my favorite. She tells her story with such humor and honesty, and it's one that anyone who has ever thought about their weight (up or down) or struggled with food can relate to. Her book provided much solace for me during an emotionally turbulent time, and I am already itching for more. I wish there were more writers in the world with Jen's talent, courage and ability to share information in such a funny, captivating way. Not to mention the incredible journey that she has been on throughout her life and has bravely let us all in to. I cannot recommend this book highly enough.
February 11, 2013
This book broke me. In a good way. I've been struggling with weight/body issues and self-esteem for a while now, a lot of it tied to grieving. Jen made me realize I need to get my shit together and stop wallowing (and blaming all my problems on "no one loves me because: fat").
Also, she's just a damn good writer.
Also, she's just a damn good writer.
April 4, 2014
I hope that the result of books like this will be to elicit understanding and empathy of the struggle against fat that everyone who is fat goes through. And yet even I had moments of wanting to scream at her "Deal with the oral dependencies! The eating disorder! The smoking! The drinking!" which makes me as much of the judgmental jerk as anyone who has ever driven women to such depths of shame and self-hate. Of course I have dealt with smoking and drinking . . . and gotten fatter although I occasionally pride myself in being on the lower end of the fatty spectrum at 230 pounds, which is approximately 10 pounds over what I used to consider the highest I could stand to go.
What I just said above could summarize the sad, neurotic state of mind that is unwanted weight gain. Jen does an amazing job of stepping outside herself and observing all of it with dead honesty and a sense of dark humor that makes me both admire her and want to slap her. Which is what I want to do with myself.
This is a really really good memoir, regardless of your interest in weight loss surgery because it gets to the essence of what holds so many first world humans back from happiness. And the essence is not of our fat deposits, it is of the societal deposits in our brain, which are much much more difficult to remove.
I wanted it to end with her discovery of Overeaters Anonymous or some other transcendent therapeutic experience that helped her move beyond the self-hate. But I love her for not claiming to have gained any wisdom at all, and for admitting that she is glad to be skinny because it makes life easier--even as she describes the tyranny of her reordered stomach and intestines, which may cause as much health trauma (or more) than being fat. She admits that her physical appearance makes life feel easier. That is all.
I am not judging weight loss surgery--there are kinder gentler forms such as adjustable bands that may or may not work in the long run. I am not for or against it. Nor is Jen Larsen apparently, though she does occasionally express doubt and regret.
If you read this book try to be kinder in your mind than I was, and you will be kinder to yourself.
What I just said above could summarize the sad, neurotic state of mind that is unwanted weight gain. Jen does an amazing job of stepping outside herself and observing all of it with dead honesty and a sense of dark humor that makes me both admire her and want to slap her. Which is what I want to do with myself.
This is a really really good memoir, regardless of your interest in weight loss surgery because it gets to the essence of what holds so many first world humans back from happiness. And the essence is not of our fat deposits, it is of the societal deposits in our brain, which are much much more difficult to remove.
I wanted it to end with her discovery of Overeaters Anonymous or some other transcendent therapeutic experience that helped her move beyond the self-hate. But I love her for not claiming to have gained any wisdom at all, and for admitting that she is glad to be skinny because it makes life easier--even as she describes the tyranny of her reordered stomach and intestines, which may cause as much health trauma (or more) than being fat. She admits that her physical appearance makes life feel easier. That is all.
I am not judging weight loss surgery--there are kinder gentler forms such as adjustable bands that may or may not work in the long run. I am not for or against it. Nor is Jen Larsen apparently, though she does occasionally express doubt and regret.
If you read this book try to be kinder in your mind than I was, and you will be kinder to yourself.
February 19, 2013
Jen has been one of my favorite writers (and people) for a long time, and I was lucky enough to get to read her previous (unpublished) book, so I have been waiting impatiently for this one. She does not disappoint. I loved this book so much that I feel like saying things like, "I laughed, I cried, it became a part of me!" I did, I did, and it did. (TOTALLY better than Cats.)
I have never had or contemplated weight loss surgery, and yet so much of this book rang exactly true. If you have ever struggled with addiction, depression, or just feeling like your insides and your outsides don't match up, or if you've ever loved somebody who has struggled with any of those issues, something in this book is going to speak to you.
I have never had or contemplated weight loss surgery, and yet so much of this book rang exactly true. If you have ever struggled with addiction, depression, or just feeling like your insides and your outsides don't match up, or if you've ever loved somebody who has struggled with any of those issues, something in this book is going to speak to you.
February 21, 2013
Jen Larsen is a very dear friend and I have been a fan of her writing for years. With that said, this book touched my heart on so many levels. Even with knowing a small amount of what she went through after her surgery, reading her in-depth exploration of life after the procedure made me hopeful one minute and heartbroken the next. I would recommend it to anyone considering or who has had WLS. An absolutely gorgeous book by an equally gorgeous person.
March 9, 2013
While the book was a quick read, I was disappointed. The book left me with a lot of questions. Why didn't she follow through with the after care counseling? Does she still drink alcohol as much as she related in the book? What about osteoporosis? I realize this is her life and her book, it just left me with questions.
That being said, the book gave me insight into the daily side effects of the surgery. This helps me understand what several of my friends who have had the surgery cope with.
That being said, the book gave me insight into the daily side effects of the surgery. This helps me understand what several of my friends who have had the surgery cope with.
July 3, 2017
I liked this memoir about Jen Larsen and her experience with bariatric surgery. I found her voice relatable and authentic, self aware enough not to gloss over her own faults, and brave in describing the negative aspects not only of being obese, but of the physical ramifications of the surgery that I feel like people don't talk about/educate people about when they're looking into it as a treatment option. Honestly, this book pulls no punches about the constant stomach issues post surgery and I believe if people truly understood those realities, a lot may not choose this path to weight loss, despite its success levels. I certainly had never known just how long and how bad the post surgical digestive difficulties lasted before reading this, despite knowing several people who have had this and similar procedures. It sounds awful, definitely not "easy", and I have gained sone respect for those who fight through it, returning to work and life as if it isn't an issue (I am a big baby and will stay home/won't leave my house if my stomach is at all upset). Beyond that, the book is a little slow, and Jen's humor will not be everyone's cup of tea. A solid memoir, but not necessarily anything groundbreaking. Three stars.
May 27, 2021
5/27/2021
This is an addition to review below (written 6 years ago). Along with improving science, data and techniques in surgical weight loss, I too have evolved my thinking. Surgery is much safer, and we now know how to help patients prepare for, and recover from it. It is certainly no longer my last choice as a recommendation for morbid obesity, as its effects can be life altering and life saving. My best advice for patients, friends and family, is to tackle weight before it becomes the size of problem that might benefit from surgery, as healthy habits over a lifetime are far better than medical marvels which cannot reverse damage already done.
Original review 2015:
This book messed with my head. First, let me say Ms. Larsen is unflinching in her self-assessments, and I am happy for her improved health as a result of the weight loss. She tells her story well and I appreciate her vulnerability in laying it all out there. Thank you for trying to help me understand, but I confess I'm still baffled. The book was interesting because it exposed the author's thinking, her habits, her willful self-destruction. But as a physician I had a rough time accepting my own powerlessness when trying to deal with someone who has her mindset. I absolutely bang my head against a wall daily when I'm working, trying to get through to people who are morbidly obese. I have certainly recommended weight loss surgery when I considered the hopelessness of the patient in front of me no match for the rapid advancement of the disease I was treating. It is a last resort. But Larsen confirms everything I've experienced: that without fixing the self-control, the reasons for over-eating, and the need for instant gratification, the problems simply change. So, while she has not had the worst case side effects (the cramping and diarrhea are nothing) I have seen all of it. From wound dehiscence, to malnutrition and it's spawn of anemia, nerve damage, muscle wasting, osteoporosis and debility, to recurrent weight gain back to levels prior to surgery, and yes, death. After reading this book I regret that I am no closer to understanding why someone would elect a life-altering at best, life-threatening at worst, treatment when, like Dorothy in Oz, they had the power all along to change. Of course counseling is expensive, and even if affordable still mostly taboo in our culture, and that is probably the most obvious obstacle. But I believe in the power of the human spirit, and have seen countless people who thought they couldn't change whatever mindset we were talking about, do just that. We simply have to get past this idea of a magic bullet to replace the work we don't want to do. Because a bullet, after all, can kill you.
This is an addition to review below (written 6 years ago). Along with improving science, data and techniques in surgical weight loss, I too have evolved my thinking. Surgery is much safer, and we now know how to help patients prepare for, and recover from it. It is certainly no longer my last choice as a recommendation for morbid obesity, as its effects can be life altering and life saving. My best advice for patients, friends and family, is to tackle weight before it becomes the size of problem that might benefit from surgery, as healthy habits over a lifetime are far better than medical marvels which cannot reverse damage already done.
Original review 2015:
This book messed with my head. First, let me say Ms. Larsen is unflinching in her self-assessments, and I am happy for her improved health as a result of the weight loss. She tells her story well and I appreciate her vulnerability in laying it all out there. Thank you for trying to help me understand, but I confess I'm still baffled. The book was interesting because it exposed the author's thinking, her habits, her willful self-destruction. But as a physician I had a rough time accepting my own powerlessness when trying to deal with someone who has her mindset. I absolutely bang my head against a wall daily when I'm working, trying to get through to people who are morbidly obese. I have certainly recommended weight loss surgery when I considered the hopelessness of the patient in front of me no match for the rapid advancement of the disease I was treating. It is a last resort. But Larsen confirms everything I've experienced: that without fixing the self-control, the reasons for over-eating, and the need for instant gratification, the problems simply change. So, while she has not had the worst case side effects (the cramping and diarrhea are nothing) I have seen all of it. From wound dehiscence, to malnutrition and it's spawn of anemia, nerve damage, muscle wasting, osteoporosis and debility, to recurrent weight gain back to levels prior to surgery, and yes, death. After reading this book I regret that I am no closer to understanding why someone would elect a life-altering at best, life-threatening at worst, treatment when, like Dorothy in Oz, they had the power all along to change. Of course counseling is expensive, and even if affordable still mostly taboo in our culture, and that is probably the most obvious obstacle. But I believe in the power of the human spirit, and have seen countless people who thought they couldn't change whatever mindset we were talking about, do just that. We simply have to get past this idea of a magic bullet to replace the work we don't want to do. Because a bullet, after all, can kill you.
April 5, 2013
The book was good enough to finish. However, it fell short of my expectation. I was expecting to hear how being skinny complicated Jen Larsen's life more. Instead, the book stated very common knowledge.
It is easier to be skinny than be fat in this world. Well, yes. Adjusting your digestive system does not fix what is wrong in the central nervous system. Of course.
I guess Larsen didn't really under deliver. She walks you through her misery as an obese person. She illustrated her unhealthy relationship with food as something so grotesque. She takes you to the overwhelming administrative process of a major procedure. Then, she discourages from taking weight loss surgery by demonstrating that recovery and maintenance are excruciatingly painful. That was 90% of the book.
I should have expected this from this type of memoir. So I endured the first 90%. What I didn't expect, and found hard to endure, was the balance of it: "Everyone thinks I'm so pretty and skinny!" It felt like a very shallow ending to a painful process and therefore a painful read.
Sure, at the tail end, she wrote a few prescriptive pages - how fitness is paramount to thinness. How transformation is a lesser goal than self-acceptance. But that felt too hallow of a prescription. Maybe because at no point in the book did I feel like Larsen truly understood her own problem. Her self deprecation didn't come across as self-awareness but a trick to keep you from the conclusion that she is a little too self-involved to reach the necessary balance for a healthy life.
I felt terrible when I heard my own thoughts on this. I went into it whole-heartedly cheering for Larsen. So I visited her page to maybe be enlightened. She blogs - and that was not a good sign for me. Why blog when you are a legitimately published writer?! Maybe, I thought, the blog is about something else entirely or an appropriate addendum to the book.
Nope. It's the same girl announcing that she is lonely and sad and she doesn't know why.
Intuitively, I believe Jen Larsen has yet to write her masterpiece, the proper conclusion to this book.
It is easier to be skinny than be fat in this world. Well, yes. Adjusting your digestive system does not fix what is wrong in the central nervous system. Of course.
I guess Larsen didn't really under deliver. She walks you through her misery as an obese person. She illustrated her unhealthy relationship with food as something so grotesque. She takes you to the overwhelming administrative process of a major procedure. Then, she discourages from taking weight loss surgery by demonstrating that recovery and maintenance are excruciatingly painful. That was 90% of the book.
I should have expected this from this type of memoir. So I endured the first 90%. What I didn't expect, and found hard to endure, was the balance of it: "Everyone thinks I'm so pretty and skinny!" It felt like a very shallow ending to a painful process and therefore a painful read.
Sure, at the tail end, she wrote a few prescriptive pages - how fitness is paramount to thinness. How transformation is a lesser goal than self-acceptance. But that felt too hallow of a prescription. Maybe because at no point in the book did I feel like Larsen truly understood her own problem. Her self deprecation didn't come across as self-awareness but a trick to keep you from the conclusion that she is a little too self-involved to reach the necessary balance for a healthy life.
I felt terrible when I heard my own thoughts on this. I went into it whole-heartedly cheering for Larsen. So I visited her page to maybe be enlightened. She blogs - and that was not a good sign for me. Why blog when you are a legitimately published writer?! Maybe, I thought, the blog is about something else entirely or an appropriate addendum to the book.
Nope. It's the same girl announcing that she is lonely and sad and she doesn't know why.
Intuitively, I believe Jen Larsen has yet to write her masterpiece, the proper conclusion to this book.
July 7, 2013
This story offered the opposite of what I was really looking for, but I still found quite a bit to identify with in it. See, Larsen did everything wrong through the process of her weight loss surgery and yet still ended up exactly where she wanted to be, at least physically. This isn't really the story you want to hear while slogging through two years of successful weight loss, emotional eating, weight gain, struggling to get back good habits and have more weight loss... I wanted to whack her in the head for taking the easy way out, although I must admit that major abdominal surgery is not necessarily easy. Still, through much of the novel she gets to gorge and feed the emotional beast that many overweight people struggle with while still managing to continuously lose weight into the realm of being too thin. This is pretty much what I wish would magically happen. Sadly I have daydreamed about all sorts of horrible illness striking me (tape worms, broken jaw, thyroid problems etc), making me beautifully thin, and then allowing a perfect recovery so that I can gallivant about and have all the freedom that thin people have. Larsen makes some very moving and accurate assessments about living in our world as a fat person and the sad truth is that it is much easier to fit in with social norms when you are not fat. She also does a wonderful job of highlighting the fact that there are genetic, life-style, medical, social, and emotional reasons that all have an effect on our overall health and weight. It's the emotional ones that are the most difficult to handle and which are rarely acknowledged or treated by the medical community.
April 3, 2013
Jen Larsen is a gifted story teller. Reading this book was like sitting with a friend, drinking wine and hearing her life story. It was very easy to fall right into this book and be her cheerleader or coach on the sidelines. ("No, Jen, don't eat those Kit-Kats!" "Yeah, Jen, ride that bike, you go girl!") I am not a candidate for weight loss surgery nor need it, but I wanted to read this book b/c the basic premise, which was just love yourself no matter what size you are, really is something I need to work on. It was comforting to know that I'm not the only one who suffers, and it can never hurt to try to work on loving yourself despite what others think. I enjoyed reading about Jen's journey to find that happiness, but I felt it took a little long to get there. Perhaps that was what she needed to do in this book, but I really didn't get the message until almost the penultimate chapter.
Still, it was a honest, raw story. I liked it, even though non-fiction isn't really my thing.
Still, it was a honest, raw story. I liked it, even though non-fiction isn't really my thing.
February 6, 2013
Gross and funny, sweet and insightful, nuanced and compelling. Just like its author.
March 7, 2013
Was on course for four stars...then I got to the preachy, annoying end.
October 22, 2022
I'm going to be generous (objective) in giving this one three stars, as for the most part the story did not work for me. Definitely not the target audience as her younger, female point-of-view was one I could not grasp here. Let's see, where to begin ...
She hasn't had sex in four years with her boyfriend if five years. As a spoiler, they break up late in the book. At the same time as someone who really seems interested comes in the scene. Yet, unless I missed it, no mention is made of him including why she didn't pursue that? To me, after she lost 180 lbs. she came across as very shallow, judgmentally anorexic.
This is going to sound weird (petty), but late in the book she emphasizes that she's "a New Yorker" though I went through the story assuming she was a CA native. Audio narrator gave her mother a stereotypical New York accent, though not any other family members. Her brother's self-centered wife sounded like someone he should've run away from.
After her surgery, she mentions routinely arriving at work an hour late. Didn't seem to be the kind of job with flex time, so what was up with that?
Regarding the weight loss itself, she does mention in the epilogue that it's not for everyone, and accepting yourself is necessary no matter your outward appearance to others. She also mentions that the surgery does not address the issue of psychological over-eating. She mentions the issue of "leftover" loose skin, yet we never hear her thoughts on addressing that herself.
I'll stop here with the concerns, and say that younger females, and perhaps overweight older ones, might appreciate the book. But, as a general interest look at the issue, no.
She hasn't had sex in four years with her boyfriend if five years. As a spoiler, they break up late in the book. At the same time as someone who really seems interested comes in the scene. Yet, unless I missed it, no mention is made of him including why she didn't pursue that? To me, after she lost 180 lbs. she came across as very shallow, judgmentally anorexic.
This is going to sound weird (petty), but late in the book she emphasizes that she's "a New Yorker" though I went through the story assuming she was a CA native. Audio narrator gave her mother a stereotypical New York accent, though not any other family members. Her brother's self-centered wife sounded like someone he should've run away from.
After her surgery, she mentions routinely arriving at work an hour late. Didn't seem to be the kind of job with flex time, so what was up with that?
Regarding the weight loss itself, she does mention in the epilogue that it's not for everyone, and accepting yourself is necessary no matter your outward appearance to others. She also mentions that the surgery does not address the issue of psychological over-eating. She mentions the issue of "leftover" loose skin, yet we never hear her thoughts on addressing that herself.
I'll stop here with the concerns, and say that younger females, and perhaps overweight older ones, might appreciate the book. But, as a general interest look at the issue, no.
October 12, 2015
Disclaimer: I am a post-op weight loss surgery patient, and I am pretty knowledgeable about the topic.
Left: January 2015 (300lbs) Right: October 2015 (170lbs)
Roux-en-Y gastric bypass
First and foremost, this novel is a memoir written by a woman that chose to undergo weight loss surgery in her early 30's; it is NOT the definitive guide to weight loss surgery. In fact, the author had a rare form of weight loss surgery called the duodenal switch, and even in 2015, most bariatric surgeons in the US do not offer it. It is by far the most invasive of the weight loss surgery options, and guarantees the best results long-term. Essentially, after having the duodenal switch, patients can eat pretty much anything they want, whereas post-op gastric bypass patients have to be a lot more mindful of their choices. Gastric bypass is the gold standard of bariatric surgeries, and a lot of what Ms. Larsen writes about will NOT be applicable to those that had or will have that particular surgery. The same applies for those that had had the vertical sleeve gastrectomy. Simply put, if you've had vertical sleeve of gastric bypass, and you eat like Jen Larsen describes she ate, you will undoubtedly suffer complications, and not lose anywhere NEAR the amount of weight she lost.
That isn't to say that I do not recommend this memoir to those that had a different weight loss surgery than the author; I DO. But I recommend those that do read Stranger Here to use it as a guide of what NOT to do following weight loss surgery. Unless you either A) had the duodenal switch or B) want to fail.
Read this if:
- You have had weight loss surgery
- Someone very close to you has had weight loss surgery
Do not read this if:
- You are considering weight loss surgery, but want to know your options
- You'd like to learn more about weight loss surgery in general
- Fat people annoy you
Now that that is all of of the way with, I enjoyed Larsen's wit and candor, especially about a topic that is rather embarrassing. The first half of so of the novel are the months leading up to her weight loss surgery, and every single person that has been through that long process will find a LOT to relate to. Her uncertainty and emotional fuck-ups post-op are also something that I can relate to. I was annoyed at times, emotional at others, and laughing hysterically in between. Jen, I truly believe that Andy was a closet homo, and I want to be friends with you. You're awesome.
If you are in the Raleigh, NC area and are thinking about weight loss surgery, please consider Rex Bariatric. (Note: Rex DOES perform the duodenal switch operation)
If you are a pre or post operative weight loss surgery patient looking for a friend... consider me.
Left: January 2015 (300lbs) Right: October 2015 (170lbs)
Roux-en-Y gastric bypass
First and foremost, this novel is a memoir written by a woman that chose to undergo weight loss surgery in her early 30's; it is NOT the definitive guide to weight loss surgery. In fact, the author had a rare form of weight loss surgery called the duodenal switch, and even in 2015, most bariatric surgeons in the US do not offer it. It is by far the most invasive of the weight loss surgery options, and guarantees the best results long-term. Essentially, after having the duodenal switch, patients can eat pretty much anything they want, whereas post-op gastric bypass patients have to be a lot more mindful of their choices. Gastric bypass is the gold standard of bariatric surgeries, and a lot of what Ms. Larsen writes about will NOT be applicable to those that had or will have that particular surgery. The same applies for those that had had the vertical sleeve gastrectomy. Simply put, if you've had vertical sleeve of gastric bypass, and you eat like Jen Larsen describes she ate, you will undoubtedly suffer complications, and not lose anywhere NEAR the amount of weight she lost.
That isn't to say that I do not recommend this memoir to those that had a different weight loss surgery than the author; I DO. But I recommend those that do read Stranger Here to use it as a guide of what NOT to do following weight loss surgery. Unless you either A) had the duodenal switch or B) want to fail.
Read this if:
- You have had weight loss surgery
- Someone very close to you has had weight loss surgery
Do not read this if:
- You are considering weight loss surgery, but want to know your options
- You'd like to learn more about weight loss surgery in general
- Fat people annoy you
Now that that is all of of the way with, I enjoyed Larsen's wit and candor, especially about a topic that is rather embarrassing. The first half of so of the novel are the months leading up to her weight loss surgery, and every single person that has been through that long process will find a LOT to relate to. Her uncertainty and emotional fuck-ups post-op are also something that I can relate to. I was annoyed at times, emotional at others, and laughing hysterically in between. Jen, I truly believe that Andy was a closet homo, and I want to be friends with you. You're awesome.
If you are in the Raleigh, NC area and are thinking about weight loss surgery, please consider Rex Bariatric. (Note: Rex DOES perform the duodenal switch operation)
If you are a pre or post operative weight loss surgery patient looking for a friend... consider me.
January 24, 2023
When I started thinking about getting weight loss surgery (WLS), I went to a close friend of mine who had it a few years prior. She was more than happy to answer my questions and recommended I read Stranger Here, Jen Larsen's memoir on her experiences before, during, and after getting the surgery, to get a perspective and help guide me towards a a decision.
After reading The Big Reveal (which I LOVED), also by Larsen, I was torn. On one hand I wanted to be like Addie: Confident and inspirational. A person who loves their body and accepts themselves for themselves.
But I'm not Addie and while she's everything every girl should be, it's a struggle to accept myself and I'm old enough to be Addie's mom. If an 18 year old can do it, why can't I?
Reading Stranger Here was like reading my very own private diary that I had no idea that I had written or needed to read. Larsen writes a very poignant story about being fat is more than just weight. Spurned on by society and lack of doctor's willing to use evidence medicine, it tortures our self-perception of ourselves, nearly destroying in the end and how we play into it all.
Near the end of the book, Larsen writes that she does not regret getting WLS but she regrets the years of her life she wasted on not loving herself. The comment is a mere few paragraphs, and Larsen doesn't really expound on it much - the ending and the wrap up of the book was quite quick from Larsen's rhythm, so I wonder how she got there and what she meant.
What does it mean to love yourself? Is it merely a trend about boundaries, self-care, being a spoonie, and self-love? What does it all mean? Why do so many seem to figure it out while people like Larsen and I tend to flounder and wobble as we find ourselves? Are we somehow figuring things out how society has wrecked us not only for our body shape but also for our own mental and emotional health? While trend seems to be a big word to use here, maybe it's time we're taking back control.
Maybe control is the answer. Maybe taking control of our own lives is what begins the self-love healing and acceptance with ourselves. We make choices and live by those choices but being fat is more than about eating too much as so much goes into it like genetics, medicines, and existing conditions. Being fat is not a choice no matter what society tells us.
As I navigate the process of getting WLS from reading studies, other perspectives, and the many dear friends who have had success at it, Larsen's book sticks with me the most. It's a comfort to know I'm not alone and also a comfort to know maybe things are going to be okay. And maybe, just maybe, as I discover more about my own needs and wants, I'll find that I love myself after all no matter what I weigh.
After reading The Big Reveal (which I LOVED), also by Larsen, I was torn. On one hand I wanted to be like Addie: Confident and inspirational. A person who loves their body and accepts themselves for themselves.
But I'm not Addie and while she's everything every girl should be, it's a struggle to accept myself and I'm old enough to be Addie's mom. If an 18 year old can do it, why can't I?
Reading Stranger Here was like reading my very own private diary that I had no idea that I had written or needed to read. Larsen writes a very poignant story about being fat is more than just weight. Spurned on by society and lack of doctor's willing to use evidence medicine, it tortures our self-perception of ourselves, nearly destroying in the end and how we play into it all.
Near the end of the book, Larsen writes that she does not regret getting WLS but she regrets the years of her life she wasted on not loving herself. The comment is a mere few paragraphs, and Larsen doesn't really expound on it much - the ending and the wrap up of the book was quite quick from Larsen's rhythm, so I wonder how she got there and what she meant.
What does it mean to love yourself? Is it merely a trend about boundaries, self-care, being a spoonie, and self-love? What does it all mean? Why do so many seem to figure it out while people like Larsen and I tend to flounder and wobble as we find ourselves? Are we somehow figuring things out how society has wrecked us not only for our body shape but also for our own mental and emotional health? While trend seems to be a big word to use here, maybe it's time we're taking back control.
Maybe control is the answer. Maybe taking control of our own lives is what begins the self-love healing and acceptance with ourselves. We make choices and live by those choices but being fat is more than about eating too much as so much goes into it like genetics, medicines, and existing conditions. Being fat is not a choice no matter what society tells us.
As I navigate the process of getting WLS from reading studies, other perspectives, and the many dear friends who have had success at it, Larsen's book sticks with me the most. It's a comfort to know I'm not alone and also a comfort to know maybe things are going to be okay. And maybe, just maybe, as I discover more about my own needs and wants, I'll find that I love myself after all no matter what I weigh.
May 21, 2016
In Stranger Here: How Weight Loss Surgery Transformed My Body and Messed with My Head, Jen Larsen recounts, in painful detail, the steps leading to the weight loss surgery which saw her lose 180 pounds. (I’ve used the passive tense, because Jen’s body seemed hell-bent on shedding her excess weight despite her non-compliance with the post-surgery diet and exercise guidelines.)
That disconnect between mind and body is the underlying theme in the first part of the book. As she finishes her novel, Jen knows she is steadily gaining weight, but keeps pushing that knowledge aside:
“When I was writing my book, I was essentially the brain in the jar I sometimes wished I could be. But it would be over soon, and then what?”
Later on, Jen realises that she literally can’t fit into any of her clothes, and wears her long cotton T-shirt style nightgown to work, in the hope that it could, almost, pass for a plus-size dress from a mail order catalogue. She writes, “I spent the whole day burningly aware that I had crossed a line.”
Jen Larsen is such a gifted writer, setting out her thoughts with candour and gentle humour, but a complete lack of defensiveness or self-pity, that I felt I understood her decision to have life-altering surgery without considering the alternatives or possible consequences. I held my breath at the reproduction of the consent form, with its long list of possible risks and complications, which Jen had to initial before undergoing surgery. Each risk or complication is set out on its own line with the initials “JL” next to it, then all the risks and complications — from the benign-sounding fatigue and constipation to the horrifying possibility of stroke, heart attack or limb loss — blur into their own paragraph, followed by several lines of “JL JL JL JL JL” as Jen initialled as fast as she could, without reading the words.
The second part of the book describes Jen’s post-surgery life as she adjusts to being “normal” size, renegotiates her relationships, and starts working in the kind of job she would never have applied for when she was fat. At first, this part felt a little unfocused, until I realised that’s what most of our lives are like. As Jen writes:
“It didn’t matter if my insides — inside my head and inside my gut — were fucked up. No-one could tell, and now I could be just anyone. I could do anything, and that felt like the real and final truth.”
February 26, 2013
Really, really good. What resonates most with me is that it's not just about changing yourself physically, but about having the courage to become an artist. Finding that balance between saying your current life isn't enough and getting so caught up in self-scrutiny that you can't move forward. I love the way the book STARTS with the type of transformation a lot of people dream about-- writing a novel-- and the letdown that comes when you've done it and you realize you're still the same person. So you know early on that this book isn't going to be the average tale of someone living their dream.
And also, the narrative sustains itself so well from page to page. I love the way she weaves together stuff about her relationship, her family and her circle of friends. And pink shoes and cool hair. Sort of like chick lit but with a bite. There's so much in Larsen's life that's fun to read about.
And also, the narrative sustains itself so well from page to page. I love the way she weaves together stuff about her relationship, her family and her circle of friends. And pink shoes and cool hair. Sort of like chick lit but with a bite. There's so much in Larsen's life that's fun to read about.
March 13, 2013
This was a fascinating, very engaging story of one woman's journey through obesity and weight loss surgery. She writes candidly about the mind-scrambling aspects of losing weight rapidly, what it's like to live as an obese person, and the way the people around her were affected by the changes in her physical self. This is the best type of memoir, in which the author draws the reader into what is unique about her experiences and takes a no-holds-barred approach to telling the factual and emotional truths. I came away from this book feeling like I had a much better perspective on the struggles of people who are very overweight, and how I need to change my own thinking to overcome some "mental blocks" in my own life. Definitely a great read.
March 14, 2013
This is a very honest (at least it seems honest, guess I don't know that for sure since I wasn't actually there) memoir about the author's battle with her weight and her journey through weight-loss surgery. But, I guess that is pretty obvious from the title. I didn't feel like this was a huge eye-opening, make me suddenly happy book. But it was very readable and Larsen is very relatable. So that is something.....
June 1, 2022
A very honest, candid look at a woman who undergoes weight loss reduction surgery. I've read many books about weight, and I found her style kinda refreshing. And she works in a library! And then I looked up her blog and she moved from Utah to Madison! Just had a feeling.
http://jenlarsen.net/blog/
http://jenlarsen.net/blog/
February 8, 2013
Weight is a complex issue, and Jen tackles it with humor and heart and honesty. She and the book are both awesome.
March 13, 2013
I gave this book five stars because it *is* very good and everyone should buy it so that Jen can make a million dollars and eat filet mignon at every meal and fill her bathtub with Perrier instead of tap water. But in reality the book is kind of outside the rating system for me. For the first time, I had the fairly surreal experience of reading a book in which I know--actually, physically, in person, have met and hung out with--about a third of the people in the book. I mean, I've watched the author do drunken karaoke (as if there is any other kind) at least a half-dozen times. I've overheard conversations about weight-loss surgery experiences between the author and my wife (also a WLS patient, albeit of a different surgery type). So I feel a little "too close to the action" to be able to put forth a fully objective review. That said, I loved how the book intimately detailed the MENTAL struggles regarding weight loss. The perceived (and very real) social bias America has against fat people. I know first-hand that "eat better and exercise" is NOT a universal weight-loss fact that works for everyone, but I think much of society (and especially the media) is ignorant and/or indifferent of this fact. Fat prejudice and fat hate seems to be one of the last truly acceptable forms of social bias, still immune from the hammer of political correctness (even many who lambaste Seth MacFarlane's misogyny still laugh wholeheartedly at his junior-high-level fat bashing jokes). The book touches on this a little, but doesn't become preachy. It's far more about being on the inside looking out, the internal struggles (both mental and, literally, physical). I ramble. Bottom line, buy this book and shower my friend with money.
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