The Naked Roommate: For Parents Only: A College Parenting Survival Guide with Real Answers

by Harlan Cohen

If your child is starting life
in college, there's a surprise
around every corner...

But that doesn't mean you can't be prepared! The Naked Roommate: For Parents
Only is a witty and wise guide to everything you need to know about the college
experience. Harlan Cohen, America's most trusted college life expert, delivers
the best advice, facts, stats, tips, and stories from parents, students, and experts
across the country to ensure that you and your child will have an incredible and
meaningful college experience.

The Summer Before

What, when, and how to prepare

The emotional roller coaster

Calling, Texting, and Facebooking

New ways to keep in touch

How much is too much

To A or Not to B

Professors, grades, and actually going to class

When to step in (and when not to)

Paying the Bills

Financial aid tricks and tips

Budgets, books, and the best campus jobs

The First Few Months

Move-in, roommates, and homesickness

What not to do when you're missing them

Keeping Them Safe

Drinking, partying, and other things your kid might not be doing

Knowing your campus support resources

HARLAN COHEN is the author of The Naked Roommate , the
bestselling student guide to college life, and Dad's Pregnant
Too. His advice column "Help Me, Harlan!" is distributed by
King Features Syndicate. He is a speaker who has visited
more than four hundred college campuses.
Visit www.NakedRoommateForParents.com
Visit Harlan at www.HelpMeHarlan.com

Genres: Nonfiction, Self Help, Parenting

496 pages, Paperback

First published January 1, 2010

Reviews

[Diz · Rating 4 out of 5]

This book covers all of the bases when it comes to sending kids to college. It presents a wide variety of topics from packing to dealing with the difficulties that your kids might face in college. It is pretty thorough, and it brought up a lot of topics that I hadn't thought about. The only thing that I would suggest editing for the next edition would be to remove references to MySpace and to add Instagram when discussing social media.

[Stacie Pulford · Rating 5 out of 5]

Notes from my book log..."Zach leaves for college in a week...I have been so sad for so long. I am excited for the adventures and the life ahead of him." We are almost through his freshman year of college and this little book helped us navigate through this year successfully.

[Christine Scott · Rating 4 out of 5]

Much of this book is common sense to an adult but not necessarily to an 18yr old. I really appreciated the tips on how to talk with your college bound kids about some of the more sensitive topics. I also appreciate how Harlan encourages letting kids figure it out!

[Cori · Rating 4 out of 5]

Good info

Straight forward important information about what to expect from our kids in their first year at college. Easy, fun read.

[Susan Mulanax · Rating 2 out of 5]

Another self help book that could have been a pamphlet.

Tldr version don’t try to control your college kid and let them guide your evolving relationship.

[Jason Bushnell · Rating 3 out of 5]

I’ve been working on this book for a little over a month, reading several others at the same time... This is a guide for parents of new college freshmen. While of the actual advice is sound, the writing is “eh” and the content is uncomfortably dated for being published in 2012 (MySpace is mentioned multiple times?!). The book also has a traditionally-aged, residential, 4-year college bias, and therefore a socioeconomic bias as well (and these biases go unacknowledged). I enjoyed the wide array of topics that were addressed. Don’t see myself returning to this author.

“College should be uncomfortable at times.”

“Never assume your child is always right and everyone else is wrong.”

“The resources, support services, and activities are part of the price of tuition.”

[Sean Elliot · Rating 3 out of 5]

If you're about to send your firstborn off to college ... I wouldn't consider this a "must-read", but it's well worth considering. Cohen wrote this a decade ago ... and hasn't released an update ... so some of the information is dated (because, really, does ANYONE still use MySpace?) ... but where he's not spending too much time on tech issues he's giving really decent advice on how to navigate the challenges as parents of sending your precious baby away to college. I may have shed a few tears here and there as I think about the looming drop-off date ... and I may have cringed at the behavior of students and parents described in some of the personal accounts offered as examples. I feel at least a little better prepared for August 29th, and the weeks and months that will follow, but only a little. Because, let's be honest, no plan lasts once you get punched in the face (metaphorically, of course). Also bought the version for the student, hoping he reads it as well, but not holding my breath.

[Robin McCann · Rating 4 out of 5]

I thought this book was good and informative. I would like an updated, post Covid, version. It seems there is not much out there which has been recently written.

I listened to this on my drives to and from work. It was part of my process to gain control of my emotions and be the best parent I can be in the next few years. Never having raised high school and college age kids before, I wanted to learn what things to expect.

Anyway, good book. I will probably get my kids the student version for the holidays. :)

[Kim Bowers · Rating 5 out of 5]

I am loving this book so far in my reading. Very practical, real life issues and common sense things that sometimes as a frazzled stressed out parent you overlook in the moment. Parting ways with your launching big kid is never easy, but so far this book is teaching me to also focus on the aspect of letting go more and letting them learn to fly. We also purchase the “The naked roommate” book for our son who leaves in August for his freshman year of college 10 hours away and he loved that book so much, it’s what inspired me to buy this one.

[Abby · Rating 3 out of 5]

A few good tips but mostly info that will be obvious to parents (e.g. don't call 10 times a day or insist on decorating your child's dorm room your way), especially to people who went to college themselves. It also feels a bit dated already, saying things like "learn to text" (to contact your child) and tips on Facebook.

[Michael · Rating 4 out of 5]

Excellent book for parents of any college-bound student. Gives great advice and suggest many useful resources. Doesn't have to be read beginning to end like a traditional book. Each chapter is a specific topic, so you can bounce around based on your interest. For that reason, would also be good to keep as a reference source down the road.

[Nathan H. · Rating 3 out of 5]

Interesting to read a book geared towards the parent's perspective (thanks mom). Mostly obvious information but Cohen is a engaging writer so it's more fun than you'd think.

[Whitney · Rating 3 out of 5]

Mostly information you already know, but some good tidbits to stick in the back pocket

[Patricia Tennant · Rating 3 out of 5]

Felt a bit outdated- esp related to technology.noticed his sources were over 10 years old. Also didn’t care for the ideas on selling plasma etc for money for college.

[Raelynn · Rating 3 out of 5]

Not sure if there is a more updated edition out, but the audio version I listened to via Hoopla showed its age with some outdated references like students using Facebook to connect.

[Dana · Rating 5 out of 5]

This book contains wonderful wisdom for parents when their children are headed off to college!

[Dan Colantuono · Rating 5 out of 5]

Good guidebook. Exactly what I was looking for it to be. Will be helpful with all of my “flags” on many pages for future reference!

[Brooke · Rating 3 out of 5]

Useful summary of many things to think about as you launch your kid at college. I just signed up for a webinar with him, and I just started following him. I'm curious how he comes across to kids.

[Lesley]

Returned to Audible. Just couldn’t keep listening.

[Jamie · Rating 5 out of 5]

Lots of good tips. Would recommend to anyone with a child going to college.

[Leigh Ann · Rating 3 out of 5]

I hoped to find more information about bringing home a student who underperforms. Sad times.

[Joan Nehls · Rating 3 out of 5]

I read this in preparation for the author’s visit to our high school and thought that most advice was obvious. There were a few more helpful tidbits.

[Gary Coker · Rating 4 out of 5]

A thorough look at the issues you'll encounter as a parent when your child goes away to college. Includes lots of practical advice about how to handle issues like communicating with your child, helping them with problems like homesickness, bad roommates, academic challenges, and so on. It's somewhat light on handling the changes that occur on the parents end. This book will help you know what to expect and feel prepared, not overwhelmed, when the big day finally comes, which helps to relieve lots of stress. The biggest lesson I took from the book is the importance of patience -- when it comes to college, as in much of life, it pays to not make rash decisions in the heat of the moment. My son and I discuss this idea often and it has made a big difference in how he handles issues during his freshman year. Recommended.

[Michelle · Rating 4 out of 5]

I checked this out because I thought it might be a book helping you find the right college for your child. When I found out that it was instead advice on how to re-negotiate the parent-child balance of power during college, and that it was, um, very frank, I almost returned it. I'm glad I didn't. It turned out I needed to read this reassuring book. Even if I hope I don't need some of the advice--like about using drugs, etc., there is a lot in here I am going to be glad I spent some time thinking about and talking to my child about. Hopefully I'll be a lot calmer when that day comes to begin dropping them off at college. EXTREMELY useful for those of us who are drawing close to that big day.

[Paula Margulies · Rating 5 out of 5]

Great book for those of us parents with a kid heading off to college this fall. Lots of it is common sense, but it's reassuring to hear it all again. I liked that Cohen recommends that kids work while they're in college -- I'm a big proponent of having a job to help defray costs, manage time, and stay out of trouble. Great advice about when to call, how often to visit, how to react to issues with sex, drugs (and rock and roll), and how to generally handle the new relationship with a child who is (almost) grown up and far away at school.

Cohen has another book called The Naked Roommate (which has great reviews) for the kids. I bought it for my son and hope he reads it (I may read that one, too!).

[MK Brunskill-Cowen · Rating 5 out of 5]

Every parent of a college freshman (including my husband) should read this book! It's full of commonsense advise that we as parents may need to have reinforced before we drop our beloveds off for the first time. ( The one point that we in this house may have trouble following is not to contact our child daily - that we should wait for them to contact us! ) Cohen gives us guidelines to follow for move-in, Facebook issues and more. Do not send your child off without reading this book!

[Tisha G · Rating 4 out of 5]

I'd recommend this book to any parent preparing to send a kid to college. Cohen is thorough, often repetitively so, but the detailed coverage helped reinforce some important strategies (e.g. Let them learn from their mistakes!) while also introducing a few topics I hadn't even considered. Yes, I skimmed parts, but all in all, it was a fun and helpful read.

[Katrina · Rating 5 out of 5]

This should be a must-read for any parent of any incoming college freshman. The advise is practical, realistic and honest and told in an easy and witty way. I found it really relieved many worries that I had. There is a Naked Roommate book specifically for students too. It is required reading for my son's freshman year seminar.

[Karen · Rating 4 out of 5]

A friend let me borrow her copy. Wish I had it more than a month before sending kids to college! Although some info is common sense, there is much more available than what appears on the surface. Great resources for further help too. Although my kids didn't want to hear what I might want to share from my new knowledge, I found it reassuring, practical, and easy to navigate.

[Io · Rating 3 out of 5]

Solid advice--nothing particularly original or earth shattering here, though there were a few things that made me think, "Right. That's good to keep in mind..." I really disliked the formatting of the book, however. The callouts and quotes on almost every page really interfered with the flow of the text. I found the formatting to be annoyingly distracting.