Who's Sorry Now: The True Story of a Stand-up Guy

by Joe Pantoliano, David Evanier (Contributor)

The actor best known as Ralph Cifaretto in the hit HBO series The Sopranos describes growing up as a street-smart kid in Hoboken, New Jersey, among the eccentric wise guys from his own family and neighborhood, working as a numbers runner with his chain-smoking mother, and his rise to success as a Hollywood actor. 35,000 first printing.

Genres: Nonfiction

288 pages, Hardcover

First published September 1, 2002

About the author

Joe Pantoliano is an American actor sometimes referred to as "Joey Pants". Pantoliano is also known for taking his diagnosis with clinical depression public and starting the non-profit organization "No Kidding, Me Too!" to educate the public about mental illness.

Reviews

[Carol Storm · Rating 5 out of 5]

I just finished rewatching Season 3 of THE SOPRANOS and it reminded me that I never reviewed this amazing book.

Joe Pantoliano ran away with Season 3 as Tony Soprano's nemesis, the psychotic and brutal yet charming and strangely poignant Ralphie Cifaretto. There was something so amazing about the way Joe took this stereotypical role, the no-good psycho killer, and revealed so many sides to his personality. There's the shrewd businessman, the bon vivant, the raconteur, the psychotic killer, the guy paralyzed by a Norman Bates level of mother-hatred, and even the guy who is genuinely proud to have left New Jersey for Miami and acquired a certain level of poise and sophistication that guys like Paulie Walnuts just don't have. (Sorry Paulie!)

Now this book is both amazing and disappointing. It's amazing because you see how much of himself Joe put into Ralphie. There's the same sense of humor, the same gift for storytelling, the same wonderful craziness, minus the homicidal behavior. Joe Pantoliano really did grow up in New Jersey, and he basically spent his whole childhood and adolescence doing research for mob parts. As he says, every single person he met in his childhood was an amazing character.

But it's kind of disappointing because the story stops long before he reaches the SOPRANONS, and even before he became a noted character actor on film. (I would have loved to have gotten his take on EDDIE AND THE CRUISERS, by the way, one of the most UNINTENTIONALLY funny films ever made, starring guess-who as, well, a creepy guy!) More seriously, it's interesting because while Joe shares all the personal connections with THE SOPRANOS world, he doesn't talk much about the distancing effect of learning the actor's craft. I mean, he had to go all the way around the world to come back home!

I'd really like to read that story.

[Bela · Rating 2 out of 5]

You can really tell which sentences were written by his co-author. His family and the New Jersey Italian neighborhood in which he grew up are all out of central casting. The whole book is mostly about his upbringing and there is not much about his becoming a successful actor, which would've been great to read about.

[Cindy · Rating 5 out of 5]

Auto biography from an actor from the Sopranos. Very interesting story of growing up in Hoboken with loud mouth cursing mamas and daddies. Stories are tough and so the families so dysfunctional it's amazing that joey is not bitter and the love triumphs. I love people who can embrace a difficult past and are not bitter and whinny. I really, really like his writing and his acting.

[Deanna · Rating 3 out of 5]

As far as memoirs go, this was a pretty good one!

[Joe B · Rating 4 out of 5]

A story about a Hollywood actor growing up in Hoboken, NJ…the same town that Frank Sinatra was reared. Not as famous, but Joey Pants is completely transparent about his entire early life before he became a well known Hollywood actor. Not a life that could be wished upon anyone as far as I am concerned. A tumultuous life indeed. A dysfunctional Italian household of off kilter personalities who had no business being parents let alone relatives responsible for being in charge of children. An abusive family going back two generations that led to Mr. Pagntilionio’s life of chaos. He somehow made it out alive, not in jail, or in illegal career of drugs, gambling, and violence. He did not come out unscathed. His next book was written about his recovery from depression, alcoholism and addiction. A excellent book, but hard to read and absorb. TMI but it got the point across. But in the end it was a love story. It was!

[Diane · Rating 5 out of 5]

This is a fabulous book. From the beginning, the reader knows this is a true story. This is the story of one of the Sopranos. I couldn't read the book fast enough. I would have never thought one came from such humble beginnings. This book will keep the reader engaged.

[Joan · Rating 5 out of 5]

This book was hysterical

[Madalene · Rating 1 out of 5]

Barely worth the $1 I paid.

[Michael Del Camp · Rating 5 out of 5]

I really enjoyed this book written by Joe Pantoliano the Hollywood Actor, and published back in 2002. I found myself in sympathy with his humorous yet bittersweet autobiography of his life, his family, the start of his highly successful and self fulfilling career, and his New Jersey hometown for evermore, which he happens to share with Frank Sinatra & Family. Yes, their families were neighbors here in America. More than that, Joe's Mother was a Neopolitan Italian-American, much like my own Mother. Yes, I recognized the common roots of Napoli/Naples in Joe's description of life and love, and I have to say, I would miss the old neighborhood as much as Joe would, had I ever grown up surrounded in it, and then moved away to establish my career, as he did. As it happens, the Italian neighborhood of my own Maternal Grandparents, Melrose Park, Illinois, just outside Chicago, has been far removed from my own life, for many years now. I still live for those late summer feast days, much as Joe describes them, here in his entertaining and familiar book.

[Linda · Rating 2 out of 5]

I never watched the Sopranos. I am however familiar with other works of "Joey Pants" and I like him as a n actor. Given that he grew up in Hoboken, NJ where my mother and Sinatra went to the same high school, I decided to give this a go. A literary work of art it's not. I did however identify with the story through my parents who met there, worked there and got "outta" there too. I learned why my father says "sangwich" instead of sandwich. Funny. Had it not been for the Hoboken connection, I probably would not have picked up this book at my local library book sale. Dad is 92, he's reading it now. Memory lane for him. Maybe that's why I picked it up. A reason for everything. So unless you have a liking for Mr. Pantoliano or a Hoboken connection yourself, I'd say "forget about it."

[Lucy · Rating 5 out of 5]

An excellent read - this book is the story of Joe's childhood but more than that it's a view into the complex relationship he had with his mother. The story both horrified and touched me. It's definitely worth a read.

[Joy · Rating 3 out of 5]

This is the story of the early life of the actor Joe Pantoliano (aka Joey Pants) as he recalls growing up in New Jersey.

[Michelle · Rating 4 out of 5]

Very good, interesting guy and his story of growing up in and around Hoboken in the 50s. Doesn't even get into his later acting career, but excellent just the same.