How'd You Do? Strange Customs Throughout the World

by James Cleugh

HOW D'YOU DO? STRANGE CUSTOMS THROUGHOUT THE WORLD. i JAMES CLEUGH GORDON TAYLOR PETER DWYER ALEC DYER . CONTENTS. CHAPTER I. The Everyday life of the John Smiths of London, Jean Pierre Duponts of Paris and Jimmy Browns of New York. Page 1. CHAPTER II. EUROPEAN CAVALCADE. Finland, Scandinavia and Den mark, Switzerland, Italy Spain, Belgium and Holland, Germany, Central Europe, The Balkans, Lapland Page 80 CHAPTER III. ROMANTIC RUSSIA SIBERIA Page 121 CHAPTER IV. THE DARK CONTINENT. S. Africa, Egypt, Algeria and Morocco, E. Africa, W. Africa. Page 132 CHAPTER V. BIZARRE ASIA. India, Burma, Siam, China, Japan, Turkey, Arabia, Tibet, Persia, Afghanistan Page 166 Chapter I. By Peter Dwyer and Alec Dyer. Chapter II. By Gordon Taylor. Chapter III. By James Cleugh and Gordon Trylor. Chapter IV. By James Cleugh. CHAPTER I. The everyday life of the John Smiths of London, Jean Pierre Duponts of Paris and Jimmy Browns of New York. This book deals with important questions such as how, for instance, Frenchmen and Americans say Howdoyoudo By the by they dont Its only the Englishman who is polite enough to be inquisitive about the well-being of his neigh bours though not even he expects an answer. The Frenchman says Enchante Monsieur, or Charme Madame that means that hes glad to meet you but charmed by meeting your wife or girl friend if youve got one. The American on the other hand is simply glad to meet you whether you are male or female, and whether hes really glad or not. There is, of course, a relic from old and pre-Mayflower times in the States which sounds something like Howdyda, but this sound is similar to the appendix in the human body. So this American Howdyda is rapidly disappearing fromthe modern language. Better forget it In America you simply say Glad to meet yah or still easier Hello or, if you dont happen to be brought up on King Sam Goldwyns English and so have very little chance of understanding the natives on the other side of the Atlantic, you simply say See you later 2 HOW DYOU DO This doesnt mean a thing. It certainly does not mean that you ever want to see the fellow again. It means in plain English Good-bye I In French it used to be Au Revoir But it isnt any longer. This expression, like the South of France has already become part of the British Empire. The biological functions of life, such as birth, reproduction that means ways and means of getting charming little babies and death are the same with Eskimos and Americans. Only the French rather dislike getting babies, that is one part of the reproducing function. Yet, the very moment the bodies just mentioned are alive a terrible mess starts. Everything is different. Thats the point when the homo sapiens loses the attribute sapiens and turns straight into an Englishman, a Frenchman or an American. Take for instance the early morning of a week clay, say 6 a. m., and three houses, or better still, bedrooms in the three important and represen tative cities London, Paris and New York. Three decent representatives of the three races, wed better give them names, John Smith of London, Jean Pierre Dupont of Paris and Jimmy Brown of New York are in their beds fast asleep. They are performing the biological function of sleeping anyhow thats what Id have to say if this book happened to be a scientific one. But it isnt Well their sleep is perfectly identical. Even their snoring. There may be individual differ encesin sroring among human beings, but there are no racial ones...

284 pages, Paperback

First published March 1, 2007