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The Client Who Changed Me

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Although the impact that clients can have on therapists is well-known, most work on the subject consists of dire mental health professionals are taught early on to be on their guard for burnout, compassion fatigue, and countertransference. However, while these professional hazards are very real, the scholarly focus on the negative potential of the client-counselor relationship often implies that no good can come of allowing oneself to get too close to a client's issues. This sentiment obscures what every therapist knows to be that the client-counselor relationship can also effect powerful positive transformations in a therapist's own life. The Client Who Changed Me is Jeffrey Kottler and Jon Carlson's testimony to the significant and often life-changing ways in which therapists have been changed by their patients. Kottler and Carlson draw not only upon their own extensive experience - between them, they have more than fifty years in the field - but also upon lengthy interviews with dozens of the country's foremost therapists and theorists. This novel work presents readers with a truly unique perspective on the business of not merely how it appears externally, but how practitioners experience it internally. Although these stories paint a complex and multi-layered portrait of the client-counselor relationship, they all demonstrate the profound and unexpected rewards that the profession has to offer.

232 pages, Paperback

First published January 1, 2005

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363 people want to read

About the author

Jeffrey A. Kottler

108 books111 followers
Jeffrey A. Kottler is a professor, psychologist, author, consultant, workshop leader, keynote speaker, and social justice advocate who has spent the past 40 years working throughout the world to promote personal and professional development among professionals and marginalized groups. Jeffrey has worked as a teacher, counselor, therapist, and consultant in a variety of settings including a preschool, primary and secondary school, university, mental health center, crisis center, and corporate settings.

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5 stars
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Displaying 1 - 7 of 7 reviews
Profile Image for اینتاریوش.
148 reviews1 follower
May 23, 2025
جالب بود.
مصاحبه با بسیاری از درمانگران و مشاوران دنیا که حتی بعضی مثل جان گری و آلبرت الیس شهرت زیادی دارند درباره تحولاتی که مسببش مراجعین خودشون بودن. در پایان همه یک جمع بندی از کلیه این تحولات میکنه. برام بیشتر مثل یک مقاله بزرگ بود که آزمودنی هاش مشاوران و درمانگرها بودن و فصل آخر مثل بخش نتیجه گیری مقالات علمی هست.
Profile Image for Deb.
349 reviews89 followers
February 21, 2012
*Profound change goes both ways *

The fourth book in Kottler and Carlson's you-can't-just-read-one-of-the-stories series, this book shows how the therapeutic process (when done right) inspires change in the client and therapist alike. The stories in this book do a wonderful job in challenging the traditional view of psychotherapy wherein the therapist is seen as an "expert" who catalyzes the client's change, yet remains unchanged. Instead, as these stories reveal, effective therapy centers on a reciprocal and human relationship which ultimately touches the lives of both the client and therapist. The theme of this book is nicely captured with the question of: "How could we be therapists and not be transformed profoundly in all kinds of ways?"
8 reviews1 follower
July 26, 2025
این کتاب برای روانشناسان و مشاوران حرف زیادی برای گفتن داره، اما فکر کنم برای افرادی خارج از این رشته کمی ناملموس باشه.
این کتاب شامل ۲۴ روایت از ۲۴ درمانگر هست که هرکدام از یک مراجع تاثیرگذار خود سخن گفته اند.
بعضی از این روایت‌ها برای من به‌شخصه تکان‌دهنده بود اما بعضی‌هاشون نه زیاد و شاید حتی کسل‌کننده هم بود. در کل، کتاب برآیند این قصه‌هاست. همین که نویسنده برخلاف تصور غالب به تاثیرات مثبت و مفید مراجعان بر درمانگران پرداخته، خیلی ارزشمند هست و کمک میکنه خواننده هم کمی دیدش رو گسترش بده.

بخشی از متن کتاب:
“بدبخت‌ترین مردم آن‌هایی هستند که از زندگی معمولی و واقعی خود گریزان‌اند، گویی این معمولی بودن نشانه حقارت و شرمندگی آن‌هاست.
مگر انسان بودن چیز کمی است؟”
Profile Image for Diana.
5 reviews1 follower
January 25, 2011
An amazing book. As a therapist in training as well as a client, this book has taught me a lot, both about possibilities of how to deal with challenging situations in therapy and about the possibility of actually making a difference as a client, too. This is a well written book with experiences from some great psychotherapists and it gives me hope about the efficiency of therapy as well as the client's role.
7 reviews15 followers
November 30, 2011
As a therapist in training, this book really spoke to me. The situations and dilemmas expressed here are one's we all face everyday, just what a therapist takes from a patient has never been portrayed so well by so many of them.
Profile Image for No0or.
18 reviews2 followers
January 22, 2009
Wow the titel seems very attractive. Since I am ms.psychologist I really want t read it:)
9 reviews
July 8, 2008
Yes, it's a two-way street: therapists become better, too, because of their clients!
Displaying 1 - 7 of 7 reviews

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