"You cannot teach a person anything. You can only help him discover it within himself."
"You don't need to share all your ideas with everybody, because you're no longer trying to fix everybody. You've moved on from that. You've accepted them for who they are, and you're accepting without judgment their weaknesses and their problems. In fact, you don't even label them 'problems' anymore. They're just energy patterns in life as fascinating as anything else."
"You might be in that quiet place where a person just pops into your mind, and you will go to your computer and send that person a nice note. The next thing you know, that person is calling and saying, 'I have some business for you. I've been meaning to talk to you.' That's allowing success instead of trying to force it to happen."
"Once they find out you aren't judging them, they'll share almost anything with you. They are open to creating new agreements. ... Employees who aren't being judged are far more open to coaching and mentoring, and allowing their managers to help them improve."
"It's not about how you're coming across; it's about whether they feel a true connection to you."
"The Iceberg Principle would say that what you see above the surface in the ocean when you look at an iceberg is only about 10 percent of the entire iceberg. The other 90 percent of the ice floats below the surface and is not visible to the eye.
That's exactly what's occurring in our own world. What we see coming through in physical form is a very tiny portion of all that's actually happening."
"Most of what is happening is unseen."
"A lot of people think that coaching means giving advice; that you give advice in kind of a nice way so that you're giving advice but you can call it 'coaching.' That's not really coaching. That's advising.
When you are coaching, the first thing you do is seek to understand the other person. You do not first seek to be understood. Understand where your person's heart is. What are they thinking? How do they see things? Because if you saw life the way they saw life, you'd likely be doing just what they're doing. You'd be behaving the way they were. You'd be communicating exactly the way they are. You'd be them.
It's really important for you to see what your people want to achieve and how they see their situation. Ask questions and let them talk. Keep your hands off their answers."
"Drop the distinction of 'unimportant people' from your mindset. Every customer and every coworker has the power to advance your career beautifully, often in unseen and unknowable ways."
"Expert advice will not bring change. It is more likely to bring humiliation. And that's only because we are dealing with human beings."
"By not micromanaging, more things change."
"Would you pull a flower up from the ground with your hands to help it grow? Why try to do similar things to an employee?"
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Constantly reread this book and annotate its advice as reminders. So many of the world's problems stem from overly hands-on leadership, from people micromanagement. This book helps remind us of the paradox that you get more by managing less. You have to trust people and let them surprise you, rather than forcing success or results. You can't be with people 24/7, so let them grow and provide them the tools, support, coaching, and motivation to succeed in their own way.