Bad News

Dortmunder #10

by Donald E. Westlake

John Dortmunder doesn't like manual labor. So when he gets the offer of money to dig up a grave, he balks . . . then he wonders why Fitzroy Guilderpost, criminal mastermind, wants to pull a switcheroo of two 70-years-dead Indians.

Genres: Mystery, Crime, Humor, Fiction, Comedy, Mystery Thriller, Novels

342 pages, Hardcover

First published April 11, 2001

About the author

Donald E. Westlake (1933-2008) was one of the most prolific and talented authors of American crime fiction. He began his career in the late 1950's, churning out novels for pulp houses—often writing as many as four novels a year under various pseudonyms such as Richard Stark—but soon began publishing under his own name. His most well-known characters were John Dortmunder, an unlucky thief, and Parker, a ruthless criminal. His writing earned him three Edgar Awards: the 1968 Best Novel award for God Save the Mark; the 1990 Best Short Story award for "Too Many Crooks"; and the 1991 Best Motion Picture Screenplay award for The Grifters. In addition, Westlake also earned a Grand Master Award from the Mystery Writers of America in 1993.

Westlake's cinematic prose and brisk dialogue made his novels attractive to Hollywood, and several motion pictures were made from his books, with stars such as Lee Marvin and Mel Gibson. Westlake wrote several screenplays himself, receiving an Academy Award nomination for his adaptation of The Grifters, Jim Thompson's noir classic.

Some of the pseudonyms he used include
•   Richard Stark
•   Timothy J. Culver
•   Tucker Coe
•   Curt Clark
•   J. Morgan Cunningham
•   Judson Jack Carmichael
•   D.E. Westlake
•   Donald I. Vestlejk
•   Don Westlake

Reviews

[Charles van Buren · Rating 5 out of 5]

Review to follow. Of course the news is bad with the Dortmunder jinx going full throttle.

[fleurette · Rating 4 out of 5]

I've always had a soft spot for thieves and the heist stories are what I love the most. Maybe I didn't expect to like this story so much, although I don't really know why. Everything I've always liked is here. But perhaps the most surprised I was that I hadn't read any of this author's can’t wait to do it.

I enjoyed so many things in this book. A complex plot, this whole idea of a crime, but probably mostly complicated and multi-dimensional characters. It is the characters that make me look forward to the next book in this series. The main character, John Dortmunder, initially seemed to be a bit of a wimp and a loser, but very quickly I found out that it was only appearances. The opening scene in the store convinces us of his cleverness and intelligence. And then it's only better. I also liked the fact that the other characters, who also seem a bit of a mess, are actually pretty smart and have a lot of criminal expertise.

And above all, I liked the deep friendship between characters who can count on each other in any situation and who together are able to achieve much more than separately. It all gave me a very nice vibe of Ocean's Eleven, one of my favorite movies.

The plot is also very interesting. I like the whole idea. There are many unexpected complications, many of which John manages to predict. This is a really good story. The author did a good job showing the characters' intelligence and cunning through their actions.

This is a good and interesting story that is very quick and easy to read. The other books in this series are now definitely on my tbr pile, and near the top of it.

[David · Rating 5 out of 5]

An excellent Dortmunder in which Westlake succumbs to his weakness for low-hanging fruit only when he has to name law firms. (Kleinberg, Rhineberg, Steinberg, Weinberg & Klatsch, anyone?) This time out, Dortmunder helps to create a false heir to 1/3 of an Indian casino, and much of the fun is the route by which he ends up participating in this job that is far from his usual line of (illegal) work. While Bad News lacks the (surprising) gravitas of some of the preceding novels in the series, by this point the members of Dortmunder's crew (Stan, Tiny, Murch, Murch's mom) have (surprisingly?) passed the threshold of LOVABLE, and time spent with them is time delightfully spent.

[Mike · Rating 4 out of 5]

Although Bad News is the tenth novel in the Dortmunder series, I accidentally read it after the 11th, The Road to Ruin. As I noted in that book’s review, John et al do not seem to age, but their world does advance along with our own. So, in this book, we have the technologically-astute Andy Kelp using the Internet (when he still can’t convince John to get a kitchen extension for his landline.) In fact the Internet is how John and Andy get involved with the main story arc. More on that in a moment.

In many of the books, the author starts with Dortmunder working a small heist (alone or with one other guy) that goes wrong. Then, he has to bail (empty-handed, of course); sometimes trying to evade capture with the police “in hot pursuit”. That’s how he got involved with the silent nuns in Good Behavior, for example. It was a pretty funny scene once he fell (literally) into their midst. This book’s opening caper is another comedic gem.

John is a bit out of his comfort zone: he is in New Jersey acquiring a dozen or so high-end cameras from a big box retailer that conveniently is not open to the public at 2 AM. But he triggers an overlooked secondary alarm system and that’s when the panic (and fun) begins. John Dortmunder is not an imposing figure; not once is he described in complimentary terms by any character (May included), so he is constantly underestimated. Even readers who know his heist planning skils do it. But every so often the author shows us just how brilliant his creation is.

In about ten pages, John goes from being trapped like a rat (and holding the goods) to a free man who waltzes out with the permission of the police. By itself, this would make an excellent micro-story. There’s the set-up, the problem, the initial panic, and then, lightning-fast, an idea forms and is executed just ahead of the cops arrival.

First he ditches the loot (naturally) and tracelessly enters a self-contained Optician’s shop. He takes out his collection of IDs and except for one credit card and matching ID puts the rest safely inside his shoes. He then makes out a credit card slip, runs it (on the old-fashioned embossers one imagines), and places it a bit down the stack from the last transaction of the day (not forgetting to put the customer’s copy in his wallet). He then gets a pair of demo glasses (with fake/mild lenses), finds the waiting area, and goes to sleep under a magazine. Until the police arrive at the shop’s door.

From then on, it’s all bravado and farce. The cops can’t open the door for several minutes, but they spot him. He takes his own sweet time in getting woken up and then, can’t let them in as there is no door handle on the inside (a fact that only allows him to become even more demonstrative in his innocent panic routine). When they finally do open the door, he is immediately confronted as the would-be-robber. And what is his defense? Why he’s a poor customer who was told to go wait for his glasses and the staff just went and locked in him at closing time! Of course he isn’t believed, but as they keep grilling him, he persists and they start finding the “facts” that he just created. Yes, there is a slip in the stack, yes, he has the matching receipt, yes, he has ID, and yes, he is wearing glasses right now. So, eventually (and not liking it one bit) they decide he’s not their man. As a final affront, John asks the police Captain for a note for his wife!

Just that little sequence had me grinning like a fool. The rest of the novel isn’t so bad, either. A little job (manual labor actually) that Andy finds is supposed to pay the two of them a grand apiece. John doesn’t like it both on general principles (it’s work) and on specifics (its opening a grave and swapping coffins), but agrees to go along. The people who have hired them are pulling a scam (of course) and figure that they can scam (in a permanent way) the two stiffs that they have hired to do the deed. But, our boys are both more intelligent and more observant than expected. They turn the tables on their “employers” demanding in on whatever the body-swap is part of.

Like a majority of the books, they pull off the scheme (at one point thinking it’s going too well!), but things go wrong. In this case, the riches they expected to earn go up in flames – literally. There might be a payoff, but it could be 8 or 10 years in the future, if ever. They don’t have anything to show for their effort, but the reader gets a nice ride.

In this book, the “maturing” of the gang continues. Anne Marie decides that she and Andy are going to host a traditional Thanksgiving Dinner. (Holidays are something that Andy and John don’t seem to be aware of.) May helps with the preparations and Tiny (it’s the three couples) shows unexpected skill when it comes time to carve the bird. A nice little homey scene that some might think should have been cut, but they do discuss the caper and the odds of getting “in” during it.

Having just sat on a Federal Jury for three weeks, I found the small-town court sequences (including the judge’s attitude) amusing; probably more so than your average reader. That doesn’t really affect my rating of the book, but I liked it. I won’t spoil the main line heist for you. It’s another unique job that sets it and this book apart from all the others. There are several bad guys (most of who get their due) and a few okay ones (who don’t make out much better than the gang, but do come out of it). I think it deserves every photon in a Four (4) Star rating.

[Robert · Rating 3 out of 5]

Closer in spirit to the early novels, but the madcap sense is really missing, and the seeming need to shoehorn in recurring gags, inside jokes and callbacks is a drag on the tale.

[Edward Weiss · Rating 5 out of 5]

OK, perhaps none of the Dortmunder novels can be considered 5-star, but I still love 'em!

[Anthony · Rating 4 out of 5]

John Dortmunder, robber, finds himself, along with his friend Andy Kelp in a con game put together by a master manipulator Fitzroy Guilderpost, that Andy met on the internet. Will John Dortmunder find his way in and around this hustle and score some much needed income, or will it be a dose of bad news? Donald E. Westlake spins a yarn of inept criminal behavior that brings the laughs as always.

[Nan Silvernail · Rating 4 out of 5]

Dortmunder and his crew run into another team of people doing an interesting thing. The interesting thing is to try to pass off a Native American Las Vegas showgirl as the last of a tribe. Why? To horn in on the considerable profits of a Northeast casino that two tribes run, the third tribe being extinct.
Exactly how they have it planned out interests Dortmunder, whose keen criminal mind is challenged and vexed by this pretty problem.
Be sure to bring Lawyers, Guns and Money because on this chilly caper anything might happen.

[Lyle Boylen · Rating 5 out of 5]

Another brilliant book in the John Dortmunder series.

[Ann McReynolds · Rating 5 out of 5]

Loved this caper, like all the other Dortmunders, and agree with Mike’s review except my rating is a 5 just for the quick thinking that extricates Archibald John Dortmunder from the optician’s shop, the police and back to his faithful May.

[Mike · Rating 4 out of 5]

Great fun! A classic example of Donald E. Westlake's humorous crime fiction – more caper story than classic style mystery – with plenty of unexpected turns as the story progresses.

This is the second book I've read in the Dortmunder series. Wasn't crazy about the first (Drowned Hopes — Dortmunder #7) but I’ve always been a fan of Westlake’s other work so I decided to give the series another try. So glad I did.

At first things go unusually well for Dortmunder and crew (at one point Dortmunder actually says, “Everything’s going too easy”). He and his pal Andy Kelp stumble into the middle of a scheme that involves switching 70-year-old corpses from one gravesite to another. They quickly outclass the original schemers and deal themselves in on the deal… and everything goes great... until it doesn’t. The whole thing turns into another hilarious chapter in the ongoing trials, tribulations and misfortunes that is the life of professional criminal John Dortmunder.

The story takes off pretty quickly, and though it slows down in a few spots it keeps up the pace well enough that the reader doesn’t lose interest or get sidetracked from what’s going on. It doesn't exactly leave you on the edge of your seat but it does make you want to keep turning the pages to find out what will happen next.

There were several points where I started to get a little bit ahead of the plot, guessing where the story was going and why, but almost every time I thought I had it all nailed down there was an unexpected twist to things that I didn’t see coming. A delight from start to finish.

I would definitely recommend this book to anyone who enjoys a quirky crime story that features eccentric characters and fun twists.

[John Bellamy · Rating 4 out of 5]

I should probably pay more attention to my older brother's book recommendations,although I must add that my younger brother rarely pays attention to mine. After decades of nagging by the former sibling I finally broke down this year and started reading both Donald Westlake's Dortmunder boooks and the Parker series he wrote under the name of Richard Stark. "Bad News," the 10th of the Dortmunder capers is where I began and I'll be reading the rest of them as soon as humanely possible. Lots of writers have written about criminals but few--Elmore Leonard is another--have realized that they are human beings who spend at least 90% of their time doing other stuff. Westlake is a master of the usual fiction fundamentals of plot, characterization and pace here but where he truly excels is dialog; indeed, I can't understand why more of his books haven't been made into movies. (Some have, but few are worth viewing.) As is often the case in both his Parker and Dortunder capers, things don't turn out as planned here but the pleasure here is more in the journey than the destination. Typically, there's a scene along the way which contributes nothing to the plot--a bunch of drunks in a bar are arguing about the names of Santa's reindeers--which is as good as comic dialog gets in the hands of a consumate professional like Westlake.

[Ed · Rating 4 out of 5]

#10 in the John Dortmunder series. Finalist 2002 Barry Award for Best Novel.

#10 - John Dortmunder series - Andy Kelp, Tiny Bulcher and the Murches (Stan and Mom) join Dortmunder in horning in on another crew's scam—cheating two Native American tribes out of one-third of the take from a lucrative Indian casino in upstate New York. Fitzroy Guilderpost, mastermind of the con, has enlisted Little Feather Redcorn, a Las Vegas card dealer and showgirl, to pose as the last living member of an extinct tribe with a claim to the casino. Unknown to the schemers, the casino managers have been cooking their books and will go to any length to avoid sharing the wealth. As the foes switch dead Indians from grave to grave, seeking to prove or deny Little Feather's tribal membership, Dortmunder plots an impossible and hilarious robbery using a blizzard as an accessory, and comes up with the usual mixed results.

[Larry · Rating 3 out of 5]

Dortmunder and his odd group of friends get involved with some bad people, and find themselves digging up a grave and exchanging bodies as a result. That sounds like a good plot hook, but the dim powers of analysis possessed by Dortmunder and his pals puts them in bad situations almost automatically. The book's good start is typical Dortmunder: superior B&E skills stymied by failure to case the alarm system adequately lead to a situation in which Dortmunder has to achieve near brilliance to get himself out of a bad jam. It's funny, but it's the standard ploy.

[John Biddle · Rating 4 out of 5]

Bad News, Dortmunder #10, by Donald E Westlake was excellent. Dortmunder, hero of the series, criminal mastermind of perpetual horrible luck, sees an opportunity to go in with another crime crew, con artists, and make off with plenty of the loot. The plan is to scam a Native American group of tribes with a money printing casino, into believing that there really is a ong lost survivor of one of the tribes thought to be extinct.

Westlake is a master of the comedic crime novel and this one is no exception. The plots are tight, with twists and turns, and humor aplenty.

[Susan Katz · Rating 5 out of 5]

John Dortmunder is one of my all-time favorite characters. When I found this book for the first time, I rushed home, joyfully chortling, "I got Bad News! I got Bad News!" to face the twin flummoxed/alarmed stares of husband and son. When I explained that it was a Dortmunder book, their relieved comprehension was palpable. This time around, the book brought me no less joy and amusement than the first time.

[Steve Millman · Rating 3 out of 5]

not a bad book but not great either. The characters in the Dortmunder books always seem a bit flat to me.

[Lynn · Rating 3 out of 5]

Amusing. The characters are all scamps living in a world unto themselves. The author brings the reader along for many a wild ride with the appealing crew.

[William Leight · Rating 4 out of 5]

[3.5 stars really]

[minor spoilers]

“What’s the Worst That Could Happen?” was so obviously the best possible Dortmunder book that it was hard to understand how Westlake could possibly follow it up. Presumably this is why Westlake opted to change up the formula for the sequel. Instead of a series of heists, “Bad News” is largely a con, and not even one that Dortmunder thought of: rather, it’s the brainchild of Fitzroy Guilderpost, Irwin Gabel, and Little Feather Runcorn, who intend to invent a tribal heritage for Little Feather and use it to get her an interest in a valuable casino on an upstate New York reservation. But this trio are amateur criminals, and it turns out that they could use the help of some professionals, which is where Dortmunder and co. come in. It’s different enough to keep things fresh, and even the inevitable heist — Dortmunder has a funny moment of relief when he finally has a problem to solve that’s up his alley — has a twist of sorts. Still, there’s no question but that “Bad News” is a lesser entry in the series. Guilderpost and Gabel are mainly useful for the contrast between their amateur criminality and unjustified self-confidence and the seasoned professionalism of our heroes. Little Feather is somewhat more sympathetic, the supporting characters are fine, and it’s still funny, but the idea of writing a Dortmunder novel in which Dortmunder is not as central as usual doesn’t quite work. It’s still worth reading, but it makes it seem less likely that “What’s the Worst That Could Happen” will be matched in the remainder of the series, let alone topped.

[Mrs. Read · Rating 4 out of 5]

I love the Dortmunder books and the only disappointment about Donald Westlake’s Bad News was that people got killed in it, unusual in this series, even for the bad guys (if Westlake was going to resort to murder I wish he’d gone for Arnie Albright, the point of whom I’ve never seen). On the other hand, the basic plot was both funny and truly original, although the Bunnion epicycle seemed to have been invented mainly for bulk.
One of the things I’ve most enjoyed about the Dortmunder books is that the author never talked down to his audience. If you "got" the puns and wordplay and literary references so much the better, but if you didn’t, well that’s okay too. That’s one way the books reward rereading. The other, obviously, is that they are funny and readily accessible and (usually) inoffensive - basically G-rated. If that sort of thing strikes you as too trivial to bother with (after all, you still haven’t finished Ulysses, and there’s In Search of Lost Time sitting unopened), don’t bother. The rest of us could do worse than spend an hour with Dortmunder.

[Jazzy · Rating 3 out of 5]

This book is a prime example of why I don't like to quit on books too soon. A few pages in, this felt like a smart alec version of one of those smart alec detective shows on USA Network. I felt the novel would be tolerable at best, excruciating otherwise.

300 pages later, this ended up being a very good read. I laughed more than I would want to admit. The crime part of this caper novel was interesting, the camaraderie of the teammates was just right, the double crosses were unfortunate but entertaining, and the comedy, as I mentioned already, was abundant.

Three stars seem low, but this really doesn't feel like a 4-star book. It's kind of like empty calories ... like eating three or four doughnuts. They're great going down, but you'd never refer to it as a great meal.

I'll try another Dortmunder novel one of these days. Good, funny stuff, and an interesting easy read.

[David Erik Nelson · Rating 5 out of 5]

I don't dig everything Westlake did (witness the Grofield novels, as an example). But what I like (starting with the Parker novels) I really like, and I've grown to realize that this hinges on two things Westlake does extremely well in his best work (including the Dortmunder and Parker books):

1) His heists go off the rails. Always. I love this, because it is so realistic--even when the characters and situations are so fantastic (and even cartoonish). No plan survives contact with reality in my daily life, and so to in the lives of hard-ass Parker or arch-schlamazel Dortmunder

2) He adroitly moves between PoVs not just to fully flesh out all angels of the heist, but also to make every character so completely human. You can sorta love all of them, and sort of hate them all, too. In that way, they are like family.

[wally · Rating 3 out of 5]

finished 3rd february 2024 good read three stars i liked it kindle library loaner dortmunder #10...dead bodies dug up...indian casino...dna...dortmunder and crew though it wasn't their plan to start with. entertaining story...i doubt anyone could predict how this or any other dortmunder story will resolve though that's half the fun trying to figure out where it could possibly finish. another thing that westlake does and i wondered about this earlier when i saw it confirmed it with this story...we get a honda platoon...a brand of honda unique to westlake as are a number of makes and models haven't made a list of them each with just enough sense of realism to make one think well never heard of that one yet but who's counting.

[Francis Washington · Rating 5 out of 5]

Westlake's genius, like Bukowski's and Hemingway's, and so on, is not so much as flowery prose as it is identifying and describing that which is hidden in plain sight.

Highly recommended, especially for the cynical small-town judge who sees his job as "certifying stupidity", which is an interesting concept when expanded beyond just issuing jail sentences to such things as tattoos, scars, dents in your mom's car, etc. I've read thousands of books and yet nobody has ever identified that particular concept despite all the flowery prose and whatnot. So while it's worth reading just for something like that, it's still a typical Dortmunder and a good read.

[Donald · Rating 3 out of 5]

“John Dortmunder was a man on whom the sun shone only when he needed darkness.”

A good first sentence to a good first chapter of this book! One in which John pretends that he fell asleep in a store when it closed for the night! Pretty smart!

“This job has too many graveyards in it, he said. ‘He’ being Dortmunder. And definitely, he's right! This caper has to do with attempting to match a DNA sample with a corpse in order to try to inherit part of the rights to an "Indian" casino! Of course, this being Dortmunder, it doesn't go easy, or the way it was planned! Not even close!

It's not quite as funny as other books in this series, and there isn't as much action. But it's still John and friends, and still worth the read! Unfortunately, it is my last read in this series, which is a total bummer. Maybe in a few years I'll revisit the collection, and this time read them in order!

[Mark · Rating 3 out of 5]

Dortmunder is a small time criminal who starts the novel by weaseling out of a building he broke into after the alarms had gone off. He carries no stolen goods, but he avoided capture, so he counts it as a win. Then ends up in a scam with a potential payday hundreds of times larger.

A cat-and-mouse game ensues, as Dortmunder and his friends fence with marks who just as corrupt as they are and collaborators looking to eliminate them. There are some truly stupid characters, but the plot is driven by the player making smart choices. A joy to read.

[Jon · Rating 4 out of 5]

A pretty good entry into the Dortmunder series. In this one the boys get involved in an already hatched scheme to get Little Feather Redcorn, a former Las Vegas showgirl, recognized as the last surviving member of a tribe with part ownership in a lucrative casino in upstate New York. One unexpected obstacle after another, each more problematic than the last. But the plot seemed a bit disjointed, and the doling out of poetic justice in the end wasn't quite what I would have liked.

[Robert Henderson · Rating 5 out of 5]

A sheer delight as always to read a Dortmunder novel, or Diddums as he calls himself when he's put in the spot to come up with a false surname, "It's Welsh" he claims to the confused faces around him. The caper is complicated and tricky and nothing ever goes to plan and you never know how it will resolve. But it does, one way or another, but never as expected. The way Westlake can write both humorous and hard boiled books equally brilliantly is amazing. I'll be sad when I've read them all.

[Andrew Cowen · Rating 4 out of 5]

I loved this book! My previous association with a Westlake book (the lame "Somebody Owes Me Money") didn't turn out as well. This was my first Dortmunder book and I plan to read others in the series. "Bad News" is great news for people who just want to laugh during these crazy mixed-up times. Highly recommended!

[Twistedtexas · Rating 3 out of 5]

6/10 - The novel opens with hapless Dortmunder stuck mid-robbery in a big-box store with a mass of cops and security guards closing in on him. It is one of funniest scenes of all the Westlake novels I have read. The remainder of the novel is good, but does not maintain that initial rush. Overall, it's an enjoyable entry in the Dortmunder series.