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Bully: An Action Plan for Teachers, Parents, and Communities to Combat the Bullying Crisis
A companion book to the acclaimed documentary film that inspired a national conversation, BULLY is packed with information and resources for teachers, parents, and anyone who cares about the more than 13 million children who will be bullied in the United States this year. From commentary about life after BULLY by the filmmakers and the families in the film, to the story of how Katy Butler’s petition campaign helped defeat the MPAA’s “R” rating, BULLY takes the story of the film beyond the closing credits. Celebrity contributions combine with essays from experts, authors, government officials, and educators to offer powerful insights and concrete steps to take, making the book an essential part of an action plan to combat the bullying epidemic in America.
304 pages, Paperback
First published August 28, 2012
6 people are currently reading
434 people want to read
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Displaying 1 - 18 of 18 reviews
May 18, 2013
I guess I was expecting a bit more concrete action plans from a 300 page book about bullying. Instead, this book contains many different essays by many different people. This would be okay if they each had a different approach or discussed different aspects of the problem. However, the essays were largely repetitive especially repeating the same bullying statistics, general signs a child a bullied, and general ways to deal with it. The part that really turned me off was the biographies of each essay's author that several times reveled the size of the article that followed. Several of the articles seemed more concerned with promoting the greatness of their own organization than really discussing bullying, which I found sickening. Most of the articles were just offering platitudes and vague suggestions. A couple of essays were very well done with step by step plans for how to address certain problems, but the majority of the essays just ruined it for me. I'm not sure that anyone reading this would necessarily feel empowered to address bullying.
February 19, 2013
I was hesitant to read this book after seeing the movie. The movie had received a lot of hype and acclaim and expected it to be heart wrenching. In the end, I wasn’t sure how I felt about the movie. I agree completely that bullying is a huge problem that needs to be addressed, but was not in agreement with the opinions voiced in the movie. One family in particular, who’s son committed suicide, blamed the school and the teachers. Another parent asked the principle, “why not just get rid of the few bullies?”. These parents, while I feel for them and understand their pain, forget that the law is not on their side. Schools, teachers, principals, and so forth and incredibly restricted on what they can do. The law limits the punishments they are allowed to dole out and so forth especially since most bulling happens when no adults are present, the teachers only have student accounts, thing that wouldn’t even stand up in the court of law. And the parents blame them and scream at them. I understand, but why blame and not look for a solution? Another family had their 11-year-old boy commit suicide and now go to rallies at schools and talk to the students and get them on their side and understanding the consequences of actions. That’s where I agree.
So when it came to the book, I was reluctant. But I forgot the movie was a documentary, not the authors stating their opinions. They got to do this in the book and I found that we agreed more than I expected. The first thing they address is the fact that many of the kids bullied fall somewhere on the autism spectrum. As a mature adult who has lived life in the real world, I spotted this immediately with one kid they followed. Especially the way he interacted with kids, even telling one kid who sits next to him “You are my buddy now” which set the kid off. He is also hit and punched, but laughs and follows kids, just hoping for a friend. I know he just doesn’t understand and wants a friend, but in high school I didn’t know this. These kids do not understand that he has autism and doesn’t know how to follow social norms. Kids in high school need to be educated. We can’t say to kids “You need to deal with the fact that he doesn’t understand” when they themselves do not understand. The book also suggests something I completely agree with. It would be best if the school sought out well-behaved, patient students be introduced and asked to befriend this student. This helps other students learn to understand autism and helps the autistic student learn what a friend is like. The book offers several different programs to help teach parents, teachers, counselors, and most of all, students. It helps parents learn that sometimes the child does need to learn the resolve the issue themselves and helps teachers and parents learn when they need to step in. It also encourages setting up younger students with older mentors. Can you imagine how much less bullying there would be if every student came into the school with someone to turn to? Anyhow, I really liked this book and recommend it to anyone who has or works with children of any age. Great book, wonderful cause!
So when it came to the book, I was reluctant. But I forgot the movie was a documentary, not the authors stating their opinions. They got to do this in the book and I found that we agreed more than I expected. The first thing they address is the fact that many of the kids bullied fall somewhere on the autism spectrum. As a mature adult who has lived life in the real world, I spotted this immediately with one kid they followed. Especially the way he interacted with kids, even telling one kid who sits next to him “You are my buddy now” which set the kid off. He is also hit and punched, but laughs and follows kids, just hoping for a friend. I know he just doesn’t understand and wants a friend, but in high school I didn’t know this. These kids do not understand that he has autism and doesn’t know how to follow social norms. Kids in high school need to be educated. We can’t say to kids “You need to deal with the fact that he doesn’t understand” when they themselves do not understand. The book also suggests something I completely agree with. It would be best if the school sought out well-behaved, patient students be introduced and asked to befriend this student. This helps other students learn to understand autism and helps the autistic student learn what a friend is like. The book offers several different programs to help teach parents, teachers, counselors, and most of all, students. It helps parents learn that sometimes the child does need to learn the resolve the issue themselves and helps teachers and parents learn when they need to step in. It also encourages setting up younger students with older mentors. Can you imagine how much less bullying there would be if every student came into the school with someone to turn to? Anyhow, I really liked this book and recommend it to anyone who has or works with children of any age. Great book, wonderful cause!
September 30, 2013
I won a copy of this companion guide from the Goodreads FirstReads program, along with a copy of the DVD, a signed bookmark, and two anti-bullying cause bracelets.
Before my win I had already seen the film and was very affected by it. It is an eye-opening documentary that will change how you think about and deal with bullying behaviour. Everyone in school should have to watch it! I was astonished that, unlike here in Canada, the film was given such a high "R" rating in its country of origin. I'm glad to see it's reaching more and more students, despite that setback.
But, does this guide work well as "An Action Plan for Teachers, Parents, and Communities to Combat the Bullying Crisis"? How about its effectiveness as a companion to the movie itself?
For both questions, I think it is yes and no. As an action plan, I think it has a lot of useful information and resources, along with big names to lend credibility. However, I think that it is too long to be an effective action plan. Not everyone has the time to read every essay, especially when, in my opinion, most read almost the exact same way. So much was repeated and restated without adding much to the discussion.
I think that to make the action plan more effective it should be further edited and streamlined, combining similar essays into joint ventures by the authors. All in all, I think it should be 100-150 pages shorter to make it more accessible to people needing help to make a plan.
As a companion to the movie, it provides a lot of extra information not presented in the film and updates on the children and parents featured in the documentary. I do wish that there had been a bit more in the form of interviews with how the experience had affected them or their own perspective on what teachers and parents can do, but what was presented was really great to read after watching them go through so much in the DVD.
One thing that may just be a typo (or I may be misunderstanding the situation), but near the very end it mentions that the Smalleys visited the White House during their campaign to combat bullying in March 2010. However, on the page before it states that their son tragically lost his life in May of 2010. It seems to me that one of the dates is wrong, because one should naturally not come before the other.
Overall, it is a well-crafted companion and action plan that only suffers one flaw in its overabundance of intelligent commentary, discussion, and resources that makes its size slightly inaccessible to its target audience.
Before my win I had already seen the film and was very affected by it. It is an eye-opening documentary that will change how you think about and deal with bullying behaviour. Everyone in school should have to watch it! I was astonished that, unlike here in Canada, the film was given such a high "R" rating in its country of origin. I'm glad to see it's reaching more and more students, despite that setback.
But, does this guide work well as "An Action Plan for Teachers, Parents, and Communities to Combat the Bullying Crisis"? How about its effectiveness as a companion to the movie itself?
For both questions, I think it is yes and no. As an action plan, I think it has a lot of useful information and resources, along with big names to lend credibility. However, I think that it is too long to be an effective action plan. Not everyone has the time to read every essay, especially when, in my opinion, most read almost the exact same way. So much was repeated and restated without adding much to the discussion.
I think that to make the action plan more effective it should be further edited and streamlined, combining similar essays into joint ventures by the authors. All in all, I think it should be 100-150 pages shorter to make it more accessible to people needing help to make a plan.
As a companion to the movie, it provides a lot of extra information not presented in the film and updates on the children and parents featured in the documentary. I do wish that there had been a bit more in the form of interviews with how the experience had affected them or their own perspective on what teachers and parents can do, but what was presented was really great to read after watching them go through so much in the DVD.
One thing that may just be a typo (or I may be misunderstanding the situation), but near the very end it mentions that the Smalleys visited the White House during their campaign to combat bullying in March 2010. However, on the page before it states that their son tragically lost his life in May of 2010. It seems to me that one of the dates is wrong, because one should naturally not come before the other.
Overall, it is a well-crafted companion and action plan that only suffers one flaw in its overabundance of intelligent commentary, discussion, and resources that makes its size slightly inaccessible to its target audience.
March 9, 2016
The Bully project has an important mission, but the truth is, for us it was too little, too late. I read this book and have posted my daughter's story on their facebook page, but I have come to the conclusion that only one thing could have saved her, and that was adult supervision and action. It is not acceptable to hand my child over to a school, whole, healthy, happy and have her entire being destroyed and broken to the core. My child was not disabled or socially awkward, she did not have learning disabilities, was not overweight, and she was not weak. The only thing that set her up for being the victim was being in the wrong place at the wrong time with a child psychopath. Over and over again, the adults present missed the signs of bullying and let it escalate into physical and sexual violence that happened almost every day for a year. They were in the third grade.
A few quotes from the book say it all. "What follows is a crash course for parents about bullying-everything you need to know and do to help your child be less likely to be victimized, as well as tips to help your child navigate an all-too vicious social jungle." "Research suggests that modern American parents are often significantly more focused on their children's self-esteem and happiness than on their concern for others. The intense focus on happiness, as opposed to respect and responsibility for others, appears to be unprecedented in our history." Empathy and kindness are things of the past and I have lost faith and hope in humanity. Only God can save us now.
I am moving to home-school my children now because society is far too dangerous, and the few questionably good people left are turning the other way. I am preparing to sue the school district, teachers, and other adults who knew or suspected something was happening and failed to protect my daughter from attempted murder and rape. You can't expect an 8 year old child, in fear for her life, to come forward and talk. (The perpetrator had a knife)
A few quotes from the book say it all. "What follows is a crash course for parents about bullying-everything you need to know and do to help your child be less likely to be victimized, as well as tips to help your child navigate an all-too vicious social jungle." "Research suggests that modern American parents are often significantly more focused on their children's self-esteem and happiness than on their concern for others. The intense focus on happiness, as opposed to respect and responsibility for others, appears to be unprecedented in our history." Empathy and kindness are things of the past and I have lost faith and hope in humanity. Only God can save us now.
I am moving to home-school my children now because society is far too dangerous, and the few questionably good people left are turning the other way. I am preparing to sue the school district, teachers, and other adults who knew or suspected something was happening and failed to protect my daughter from attempted murder and rape. You can't expect an 8 year old child, in fear for her life, to come forward and talk. (The perpetrator had a knife)
August 8, 2014
I would not recommend this as a light read. It really does feel like a companion book to a movie as opposed to be something read on your own for fun. I initially liked the part that described how particular individuals such as those on the autism spectrum were bullied and how they reacted to it. During the parts about taking action, I agreed with some, but disagreed with some.
I don't understand how you would expect children to tell on other children to adults in most situations. A. Adults generally are ineffectual. B. Adults often make the problem worse. C. Adults are sometimes the problem. Honestly, telling adults about bullying seems like it should be reserved for high-end bullying, much like you only tell the Police about high-end crimes: they aren't going to do squat about a stolen bicycle. I realize that they briefly state what adults should do when told of this bullying. However, since this book has the stated goal of ending all bullying, it refuses to discuss these half measures such as when it is appropriate to tell someone, and what to do if you find yourself in an unsupportive environment. I wish it had also dealt more with coping with bullying mentally.
At the end, it just became like a directory listing for anti-bullying sites and groups. Hearing all the URLs read out was painful.
I don't understand how you would expect children to tell on other children to adults in most situations. A. Adults generally are ineffectual. B. Adults often make the problem worse. C. Adults are sometimes the problem. Honestly, telling adults about bullying seems like it should be reserved for high-end bullying, much like you only tell the Police about high-end crimes: they aren't going to do squat about a stolen bicycle. I realize that they briefly state what adults should do when told of this bullying. However, since this book has the stated goal of ending all bullying, it refuses to discuss these half measures such as when it is appropriate to tell someone, and what to do if you find yourself in an unsupportive environment. I wish it had also dealt more with coping with bullying mentally.
At the end, it just became like a directory listing for anti-bullying sites and groups. Hearing all the URLs read out was painful.
May 12, 2015
I've been reading books on bullying because I have witnessed it in adult circles and I recognized that I haven't really had a game plan in response, except to reach out to the person I perceived as the victim. They are often distrustful, having been set up before by good Samaritans who turn out to be the panderers for the bully. And really how can you expect someone to trust your good intensions if you didn't object to their victimization? I have also wondered how these cultures evolve, especially in places that vaunt themselves as safe spaces. One thing I did not see in this book is a major issue in witnessing bullying and remaining silent, which is the fear that the mob mentality will refocus on you. They do briefly mention that bullying is a learned behavior and part of social networks, but there wasn't much sociological insight as to why kids always gather around fights, or an episode of bullying. There wasn't much focus on adult modeling of bullying behavior in their discussions of work related conflicts over the dinner table, either. But generally I thought this was an insightful book and I look forward to seeing the film.
October 27, 2012
Interesting book.
It's the companion guide to the documentary that got so much press recently. I expected another reshash of ineffective and illogical responses to bullying but this was insightful. The tips they have for dealing with a situation where your child is being bullied sound like they would be effective.
Making your child feel empowered and teaching them coping skills AND avoidance skills is far more helpful than the usual "it's a right of passage" advice that's usual bandied about. The one thing that seems so simple yet I'm sure most people don't think of is make sure your children have a larger pool of friends to pull from so that if they are having problems at school, they can lean on their baseball team friends or chess club friends or friends they make from the next town over.
Also, I like that they pointed out that with the internet bullied kids get no respite. Whereas before you were bullied in school and home was your safe place, the web now lets bullies do their dirty work 24/7 and often anonymously.
Every parent should read this and teachers as well.
June 20, 2015
If you have not seen the documentary Bully, you can't read this book, they honestly go hand in hand.
I have provided a link to watch the documentary on YouTube for $2.99: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fhBXl...
I don't think it provides an action plan for teachers or communities to combat the bullying crisis, in fact for teachers it provides almost nothing in the way of preventing bullying in your classroom, besides have strict classroom management strategies. This is for parents who think their child is being bullied, not for anyone else.
We had Stand for the Silent at our school last year, even though we didn't see the movie, his speaking skills and interaction with the students made it worth while to have him come to our school.
I have provided a link to watch the documentary on YouTube for $2.99: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fhBXl...
I don't think it provides an action plan for teachers or communities to combat the bullying crisis, in fact for teachers it provides almost nothing in the way of preventing bullying in your classroom, besides have strict classroom management strategies. This is for parents who think their child is being bullied, not for anyone else.
We had Stand for the Silent at our school last year, even though we didn't see the movie, his speaking skills and interaction with the students made it worth while to have him come to our school.
February 26, 2013
VERY GOOD information that gives some solid suggestions of was to combat bullying for both parents, educators, and really anyone who engages with children. Has numerous resources and is a GREAT follow up to the movie.
August 18, 2014
Repetitive and pretty superficial. I was looking for something different; more concrete plans versus regurgitated statistics. I know the state bullying is in, now what?! Didn't give me that. Movie is still amazing.
January 18, 2013
I liked this book as it talked about the consequences of bullying in schools. It also had some methods to prevent bullying from happening on school campuses.
June 4, 2013
have read the book and watched the dvd will now be using what i have learnt at our local chapel it is really good
June 2, 2013
I work for a Juvenile Detention Center this book is Awesome. If it justs helps one child it will be worth it. But, hopefully it can help all children.
March 30, 2014
A must read !! I was captivated by the story . A must read for every parent !!!!
June 21, 2013
Good information
March 1, 2014
This book has a lot of common-sense information that you just need an occasional refresher about. There are some great insisted and a lot of good advice for parents, teachers and students alike.
December 5, 2014
Have to admit that I didn't finish this one. Life's too busy right now to dive into this.
April 13, 2016
A must read for anyone with school age children. Watch the movie first.
Displaying 1 - 18 of 18 reviews