Waiting to Forget: A Motherhood Lost and Found

by Margaret Moorman

"[An] extraordinary memoir of [the author's] giving up for adoption the baby she bore at 16... beautifully written, psychologically nuanced and sociologically informed."― Nation Described in the New York Times Book Review as "uniquely enlightening," Waiting to Forget is a mother's story of coming to terms with the child she gave up for adoption over thirty years ago. In 1965 Margaret Moorman was unmarried, pregnant, and still in high school. Forced by societal pressures to give her baby up, she suffered emotional trauma both before and for years after the birth. At forty, she gave birth to a daughter and found herself terrified by the possibility of losing her younger child, a fear she can now trace back to her uncertain decision to give up her son.

Moorman discusses both her own complicated feelings of loss and motherhood and the issue of adoption from the often overlooked point of view of a birth parent.

Genres: Adoption, Memoir, Nonfiction

Paperback

First published August 1, 1996

About the author

Margaret Moorman is a writer and painter known for books on complex family relationships. She authored My Sister's Keeper and children's books, contributes to ARTnews and Newsday, and lives in New York with her husband and daughter.

Reviews

[Liz Gray · Rating 4 out of 5]

“Waiting to Forget” explores adoption from the point of view of a birth mother who surrendered her child in 1965, at the age of 16, and whose life was severely affected by that choice. I appreciated Moorman’s honesty as she describes the circuitous path on which her emotions take her, as well as her empathy for the other players in the adoption triad. The book was published in the mid-1990s and while some laws have changed since then, many have not.

[Lee Savino · Rating 2 out of 5]

As an adoptee, I had high hopes for this book.
It started out by keeping my attention, but then got really boring and drawn out.
Would not recommend

[Nancy · Rating 3 out of 5]

I found the author rather annoying at times. I know she was only 16 when she gave birth to her son. At one point she said she thought she would have gotten over it better, if she could have had an abortion. My feelings are, that either choice will leave a woman with feelings, that last a life time. I don't think there is an easy answer to an unwanted pregnancy. I met a young woman outside of my son's school, who was with a group advocating against abortion. I talked with her, and she told me she was forced to have an abortion, by her mother, and she didn't want anyone else to go through that horrible experience.

[Sallyk · Rating 4 out of 5]

Very good but too drawn out.