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The Plus Factor
Define a healthy relationship. Is it filled with trust, respect, honesty, communication? There must be a balance in the "power and control." A relationship takes two. It is a partnership. The responsibility, financial or otherwise, should never rest on the shoulders of one. It should be a shared responsibility. What happens when there is an imbalance in this power and control, when the one person who has accepted this responsibility abuses it? You find yourself in an unhealthy relationship where domestic violence could occur frequently and severely. The Plus Factor is an autobiographical account of my journey from tragedy to triumph. It is a survivor's story that describes in vivid detail what happens when love becomes violent. Domestic violence did not ruin my it gave me a second chance to live, all the while learning to love myself again in the process. If my story mirrors your life, know that there is help available for you.
140 pages, Paperback
First published August 31, 2011
1 person is currently reading
23 people want to read
About the author
Tamika L. Sims
5 books7 followersTamika Sims, a South Carolina native, survived a physically, emotionally, and sexually abusive relationship of eight years. Tamika currently serves as an Advisory Board Member for the DH White Center for Women and The Abigail Project whose mission is to empower, educate, and equip.
She believes strongly in volunteerism, civic engagement, and serving in her local community. Tamika has received trainings in the following subjects and more: Domestic Violence and Sexual Assault, Dating Violence, The Effects of Domestic Violence on Children, and Domestic Violence in the Faith Community.
Tamika received the Bachelor's of Science Degree in Information Technology from South University - Columbia.
She enjoys writing, reading, music, singing, and is a self-proclaimed coffee lover! Family and friends are most important to her and she devotes a substantial amount of her time to develop sustaining relationships with them.
Tamika is inspired by the writings of Eleanor Roosevelt, one of her favorite quotations is, "the future belongs to those who believe in the beauty of their dreams."
She believes strongly in volunteerism, civic engagement, and serving in her local community. Tamika has received trainings in the following subjects and more: Domestic Violence and Sexual Assault, Dating Violence, The Effects of Domestic Violence on Children, and Domestic Violence in the Faith Community.
Tamika received the Bachelor's of Science Degree in Information Technology from South University - Columbia.
She enjoys writing, reading, music, singing, and is a self-proclaimed coffee lover! Family and friends are most important to her and she devotes a substantial amount of her time to develop sustaining relationships with them.
Tamika is inspired by the writings of Eleanor Roosevelt, one of her favorite quotations is, "the future belongs to those who believe in the beauty of their dreams."
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Displaying 1 - 6 of 6 reviews
October 14, 2012
REGAINING MY IDENTITY
Tamika is a God-fearing woman who is extremely active in ministry with her church. She admires D.L. from afar and when he finally expresses interest, all of her dreams for a perfect future fall into place. Not only is he a mentor for various ministries with their church, he also is well respected by their pastor and other spiritual leaders. Even though they elect to keep their relationship a secret, she is satisfied with the man that she is confident God has blessed her with. Despite Tamika's professional training on domestic abuse, she seems to miss the signs in her own relationship as D.L. assumes control over all aspects of her life. She comes to a point where she finds all of her actions begin to mirror what her abuser desires, fearing his dissatisfaction with decisions made independently. After being stalked, beat and raped at is hands, Tamika has to draw from her inner strength and faith in order to force her abuser out of her life and reclaim the mental and emotional health that was stolen from her.
The Plus Factor by Tamika Sims is not your typical novel. It incorporates the personal experiences of the author giving it a self-help feel. There were various aspects of this title that I loved. Ms. Sims gives insight on the psyche of the abuser and abused. It offers an accurate depiction of the phases the abused encounters - confusion, forgiveness, anger, etc. It illustrates the demented mind of the abuser, switching back and forth between anger and apologies. The author goes on to highlight how abuse can maintain control over the victim long after they have removed themselves from that situation. As a result, freedom from this control requires a mental and emotional detoxification. The novel reaches further, addressing how the church must obtain a better understanding of abuse and offer help to both the abused and the abuser. In some cases turning a blind eye can be fatal. One of the resounding messages I got when reading is that healing is a result of faith and professional counseling. I thoroughly enjoyed how she utilizes her experience to inform and encourage those who have any type of contact with abuse. I would definitely recommend Ms. Sims' book to others.
Ondrea L. Davis, Reviewer
Tamika is a God-fearing woman who is extremely active in ministry with her church. She admires D.L. from afar and when he finally expresses interest, all of her dreams for a perfect future fall into place. Not only is he a mentor for various ministries with their church, he also is well respected by their pastor and other spiritual leaders. Even though they elect to keep their relationship a secret, she is satisfied with the man that she is confident God has blessed her with. Despite Tamika's professional training on domestic abuse, she seems to miss the signs in her own relationship as D.L. assumes control over all aspects of her life. She comes to a point where she finds all of her actions begin to mirror what her abuser desires, fearing his dissatisfaction with decisions made independently. After being stalked, beat and raped at is hands, Tamika has to draw from her inner strength and faith in order to force her abuser out of her life and reclaim the mental and emotional health that was stolen from her.
The Plus Factor by Tamika Sims is not your typical novel. It incorporates the personal experiences of the author giving it a self-help feel. There were various aspects of this title that I loved. Ms. Sims gives insight on the psyche of the abuser and abused. It offers an accurate depiction of the phases the abused encounters - confusion, forgiveness, anger, etc. It illustrates the demented mind of the abuser, switching back and forth between anger and apologies. The author goes on to highlight how abuse can maintain control over the victim long after they have removed themselves from that situation. As a result, freedom from this control requires a mental and emotional detoxification. The novel reaches further, addressing how the church must obtain a better understanding of abuse and offer help to both the abused and the abuser. In some cases turning a blind eye can be fatal. One of the resounding messages I got when reading is that healing is a result of faith and professional counseling. I thoroughly enjoyed how she utilizes her experience to inform and encourage those who have any type of contact with abuse. I would definitely recommend Ms. Sims' book to others.
Ondrea L. Davis, Reviewer
June 17, 2012
As I started reading this book, I didn't know what to expect. By the time I reached the third chapter, I was angry! Yes, I said angry. Why? Without giving too much away from the story, it's a tragedy to see women are treated as property and there are some men out there in this world who have the audacity to treat women as trash minimizing the worth of a woman (a beauty of God's creation). If you're reading this post, excuse me for being a little personal. This is a must read for women AND men. We as men need to be aware of what abuse is like and to avoid the path of becoming an abuser (seeking the Kingdom of God).
In the case of Tamika, I applaud her boldness to speak out on a topic that's much needed. It's a tragedy when abuse is known and the church leaders turn a blind eye (in most cases, it's due to their own selfishness or trying to protect the image). This book will anger you in many ways, but it's an excellent read.
In the case of Tamika, I applaud her boldness to speak out on a topic that's much needed. It's a tragedy when abuse is known and the church leaders turn a blind eye (in most cases, it's due to their own selfishness or trying to protect the image). This book will anger you in many ways, but it's an excellent read.
June 5, 2012
This book was a very personal and private matter for me. It is the story of my life in an almost ten-year abusive relationship.
It was a very difficult journey but well worth it.
If you know of anyone struggling with domestic violence in their relationships, this is the book for them.
It was a very difficult journey but well worth it.
If you know of anyone struggling with domestic violence in their relationships, this is the book for them.
June 21, 2012
I loved this book by Ms. Sims. I think every female should purchase this book because some valuable lessons are displayed. The things that she had to endure just to survive. I don't like doing long, tell all reviews giving away the story, however, I will tell you this book is really good.c
September 15, 2012
I enjoyed this book that was referred to me by a facebook group member. I let my friend borrow the book but she didn't enjoy it. I guess, to each its own. There are many lessons to women in this novella that should be viewed. I will make the next person purchase their own copy because I see many don't appreciate good work. Kudos to the author for this story. I don't want to spoil it for others, but it touches alot of important topics.
January 19, 2014
Wow! Tamika has released a flood of emotions to her readers in the Plus Factor. I really appreciate the heart to heart that she has with her readers where she unveils everything from the trauma to the triumph. You've certainly made an impact on my life with this book and I'm sure that this is just the beginning. Thank you Tamika. Life changing is all that I can say.
Displaying 1 - 6 of 6 reviews