Books are inherently personal, to the author who wrote it, of course, but also to each reader. How old we are, where we are, the mood we’re in and experiences we’ve had will all inevitably color our opinions of the story. This book in particular hit me in a lot of very personal ways and I’m very aware it may not mean all it meant to me to someone else. In fact, my feelings for this book are probably too personal for a review at all.
That said, I do think the author, Sylvia Brownrigg, has serious talent. She does something here with her tone and word choice, that is so fitting, essential even, to the plot and setting of the book, and I’m not sure I’ve ever seen it done so well. Flannery is 17, intelligent but a little sheltered, and oh so young. She’s a freshman from California who’s come easy to what we can only assume is one of the Ivies. She walks into a dinner and is absolutely struck by a beautiful woman buried deep in a book. Later she steps into a literary criticism class and finds that beautiful woman is Anne, one of the TAs. Anne rocks and rattles Flannery’s entire young life. And I think by the end, after they come together and then apart, Flannery has rattled Anne’s as well.
When I tucked into this book, I kept sending my best friend passages. I was wanting to be carried away in a romance and I got that. But I also got so much more. The language used and so many descriptions of Anne reminded me startlingly so of the woman who rocked my freshman world. They reminded me of the poems I’d written then and also the love stories I still write, somewhat secretly, a bit ashamed. Reading this book made me realize some of my shame in writing romance is simply that the genre so often disappoints me. Lesbian romance in particular seems confined to some tiny gutter. Beautiful literary gay male romances are having their day in recent years. Heterosexual romances are everywhere, not ghettoized to any specific genre or tiny almost nonexistent section of even the most diverse bookstores. And the whole reason I’ve been writing romance stories is that until this book, I’d never read one that fit or was personal enough. Certainly not about two women.
So it’s also clearer to me than most just how personal romance is. I suspect too that those who see themselves more easily, even some basic version of themselves, on romances just don’t get it, can’t imagine all it means to finally find the one that speaks to you and your experiences. I mentioned this book to someone who made a point of telling me she was adding it to her TBR and that she loved a good love story, no matter the genders involved. In theory I would like to agree and certainly, as I said, heterosexual romance is absolutely everywhere. But it’s easier to enjoy all sorts of romances when you can easily see yourself in them. Until this book, I never had. And there is no way this can mean near as much to someone who doesn’t experience it as I did.
I mentioned the writing style. It was so evocative of the magic and wonder of first love. It might be a bit flowery for some and it may have been for me, as well, if Flannery wasn’t 17, and a wannabe writer in her first semester of college. The same hint of pretension that might have otherwise turned me off, worked wonderfully here. As I already said, I was startled by how utterly similar, at times eerily so, it was to what this young wannabe writer was writing about her own first love at that age. So it transported me in such a powerful and special way.
Yet even apart from that, this is such a literary romance. That’s not unique in and of itself but I’ve never read one about two women. I can indulge in that small ghettoized world of typical lesbian romance novels but they bore me with their tropes and euphemisms and just... unreality. No shame for those who love them. Like I said, I read them too. But what I’ve always wanted, so much I’ve sat and written my own, was a book just like this one. I’m baffled by how there aren’t more of them, but then women loving women romances got their start in pulp and in so many ways, has never been allowed to leave it. I don’t want to sound pretentious and gosh knows, plenty of people judge all romance harshly (yet read authors like Jane Austen or André Acimen). I just had never been able to find the one that spoke to me. Wrote my own for that reason. Then I read this book, a book I’ve wanted to read and been aware of for probably most of the almost twenty years it’s been out there, and I guess it rattled my world too. And took me to exactly the place I’ve always wanted a romance novel to take me. Brownrigg writes in the language of my own woman loving soul.
It’s so beautiful and so relatable that I’ll stop over analyzing. It’s the kind of book that if anyone were to ask me why I like women, I’d place this into their hands and say read. This is why.
So all the the typical review stuff aside. I finally found a romance I could swoon along with, get totally lost in that glorious headspace where when they first kiss I was literally sighing and aching to be kissed myself. I can’t begin to tell you if this book is for you. Most of my book friends aren’t women who like women anyway. And while I do believe anyone could enjoy this book, you’re not going to get what I got from it unless you’re a woman who is attracted to other women and even then there’s no guarantee. But for me- ooh, what a beautiful, swoony, sighing, gorgeous book I’m sure I’ll read again and again.