Tom is the all-American golden-haired blue-eyed boy, the class president, the captain of the baseball team, loved by everyone. But lately the 17-year-old has seemed to be a little off, as if he's been preoccupied with something. It turns out he's been contacted by a purple-haired alien god called SOLA, who has commanded Tom to kill his family on December 22nd. It is now December 18th.
The countdown begins, and we meet the Nash family: Cole the forty-something father, who is a closed-up bundle of problems, a sort of a Mr. Darcy in the Pennsylvania suburbs. Anne the mom is having an affair, while Kit the eldest is a sensible young woman who has already left home and is studying psychology at the university. Tom is the 17-year-old conduit of SOLA, among other things, followed up by Sara, who has an eating disorder, Steven, who at 12 just loves to toke it up every chance he gets, and Max the youngest, after which the parents stopped having sex. Ostensibly they are all very nice people, well-established, relatively successful in their endeavours... but underneath there's a bit of Patrick Bateman in each one.
Every member of the family as well as some of the adjoining characters get their turn in the spotlight, as layers are peeled off one by one. We get a peek behind the illusion of the perfect family and find out they are anything but. Tom might be the nuttiest of the bunch, but Cole the father isn't far behind, with long-running problems dealing with people including his own children. Anne the mother on the other hand is ready to throw his children under the bus to avoid getting into trouble with Cole. There were emotional and psychological problems in the family way before SOLA came on the scene, implying that mental illness might be hereditary. Even young Max blacks out at one point and does something for no reason.
This Christmas novel is a very slow burn, but Scoppettone paces it perfectly. I read the novel in two sittings, completely enthralled by the drama that was being unveiled. Tom's increasingly psychopathic plans about how he will go about it and where he will acquire guns are sprinkled throughout, constantly increasing the tension that is pretty tightly wound from the beginning. It's also refreshing that none of the characters, despite their other failings, are idiots. Anne, Sara and even stoned Steven (in a rare misstep, his drug habit seems a little over the top for a 12-year-old) figure out pretty soon that there is something strange about how their son and brother has been acting lately. Tom's girlfriend Jennifer also realizes something is seriously off and plans to break up with him. Neither is Tom able to hide his enthusiasm for his upcoming transformation into the Grandduke of SOLA (for some reason, he is planning to spare his elder sister Kit, who in the new world order will become the Grandduchess), he's spilling the beans well in advance. But any attempts to intervene are too little and too late, sometimes because the family keeps their secrets. And even without Tom's SOLA-induced massacre the family unit would be irreparably dismantled, with Cole the father scheming to disappear entirely and Anne planning to divorce him for another man. All of the other big changes are, however, scheduled for after December 22nd.
There's relatively little actual violence in the story until the main event, but it's felt on every goddamn page. The Nash household is a powder keg and the fuse is lit. There's a sarcastic viciousness in the way Scoppettone dissects each family member, clinically, impassionately, with precision, touching just the right nerves that will hurt the most. The contrast between Tom's otherworldly visions and the mundane family drama strikes just the right chord. And the novel is very nasty at times, a true paperback from hell. There is a fantastically demented scene depicted from two angles involving a shed and a plunger that will be permanently etched in the reader's memory. But none of this nastiness takes anything away from the quality of the writing. This is a very well crafted book, with detailed characters and a nicely constructed structure. It's sad that the book has been out of print since its paperback edition. Such Nice People is a masterful novel and well worth its reputation — but maybe not the skyrocketing secondhand price.
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