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Raising Cole: Developing Life's Greatest Relationship, Embracing Life's Greatest Tragedy: A Father's Story
"This book is a roadmap for parents seeking to create a lasting relationship that can withstand the storms of life."
-Bestselling Author Max Lucado Marc Pittman, one of 16 children, is the son of a dirt-poor farmer who remains to this day the only man to ever knock Marc unconscious. But when he had a son, Marc became the father he had always wanted to have. When seven-year-old Cole asked him about beer, Marc Pittman put down his can and never drank again. He told his boys everything, and they were honest with him in return. They unburdened their fears; told him their dreams; and even admitted their sins. Despite the fact that his sons were star football players, they felt no shame in holding their father's hand in public. People told him he was lucky to have the relationship he did with his children, but Marc Pittman knew the truth-it wasn't luck, he worked at it every day. And then his eldest son, Cole, was killed in a traffic accident on the way to football practice at the University of Texas. This book is the story not just of how Marc Pittman dealt with this tragedy, but of the 21 years he lived with Cole and the lessons he learned about being a good father, a good friend, and a good man. "A must read...Marc Pittman crosses the boundary and stigma of the tough guy and shows that while being very tough, you can also be very compassionate. This book will make you appreciate not every hour, but every second you spend with someone you love."
-Mark Gastineau, former Pro Bowl defensive end, New York Jets
-Bestselling Author Max Lucado Marc Pittman, one of 16 children, is the son of a dirt-poor farmer who remains to this day the only man to ever knock Marc unconscious. But when he had a son, Marc became the father he had always wanted to have. When seven-year-old Cole asked him about beer, Marc Pittman put down his can and never drank again. He told his boys everything, and they were honest with him in return. They unburdened their fears; told him their dreams; and even admitted their sins. Despite the fact that his sons were star football players, they felt no shame in holding their father's hand in public. People told him he was lucky to have the relationship he did with his children, but Marc Pittman knew the truth-it wasn't luck, he worked at it every day. And then his eldest son, Cole, was killed in a traffic accident on the way to football practice at the University of Texas. This book is the story not just of how Marc Pittman dealt with this tragedy, but of the 21 years he lived with Cole and the lessons he learned about being a good father, a good friend, and a good man. "A must read...Marc Pittman crosses the boundary and stigma of the tough guy and shows that while being very tough, you can also be very compassionate. This book will make you appreciate not every hour, but every second you spend with someone you love."
-Mark Gastineau, former Pro Bowl defensive end, New York Jets
- GenresBiographyNonfiction
208 pages, Paperback
First published May 1, 2004
7 people are currently reading
95 people want to read
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Displaying 1 - 26 of 26 reviews
September 12, 2025
This was a beautiful story of fatherhood! Marc tells a compelling narrative of building true relationship with his children and makes the case that any parent can pursue this kind of authenticity no matter their background. Marc had it rough growing up and had the best of excuses to parent just as he had been. But he humbly addressed his shortcomings for the sake of his sons and always considers that he isn’t yet finished. This kind of teachability is so needed. The concept of Dead Man’s Talk paves the way for a unique connection between two people that some of us may have experienced at some points in life but is an aspect that Marc focuses on as absolutely crucial to the trust he had with both of his children. What would we give to have nothing unsaid?
March 30, 2019
Powerful, heartfelt book about the loss of a child, in this case, a son. It contains some helpful advice.
July 22, 2008
ONE OF THE BEST BOOKS I HAVE EVER READ!!! I COULDN'T PUT IT DOWN...
August 19, 2015
Ended this book with chills & teary eyes. Excellent book written from the heart.
January 10, 2018
Values, family, faith
This was a great ride along for me. I also was able to take with me some more parent improvements. Great story, great family , and most importantly good fair people.
This was a great ride along for me. I also was able to take with me some more parent improvements. Great story, great family , and most importantly good fair people.
April 12, 2023
197 pages The best book I have read this year. Wish all of us as parents could love and be as proud of our kids as Marc Pittman. Also really know God is with us though everything. Would love to meet this man.
July 23, 2018
The story of a father who lost his son. A great reminder to love our kids every day.
April 9, 2022
Very good. I felt for this man.
March 19, 2024
"All you need is a heart, a resolve and one simple guideline: be the father you always wanted to have.”
August 3, 2025
Beautiful story of a dad and the love he has for his son. True story from Shreveport.
June 13, 2021
Marc Pittman raised his two boys aggressively. Cole and Chase got tons of attention in the form of hugs, kisses, tough love, and dead man's talks.
Marc just tried to be the dad he wanted growing up. Growing up Marc was fearless. He courted death with crazy stunts like wrestling a bear. Running with a rough construction crowd, Marc didn't fear anything. Finally, he realized that he needed to heavily invest in his relationships with his sons. As Cole and Chase grew up, he used work as a reason to spend time together. As the boys grew up, they would have dead man's talks. The rules of dead man's talks were simple- when you tell a dead man a secret, he keeps it. A dead man doesn't panic or over-react when handed a secret. A dead man doesn't lecture or judge or get angry when they hear about secret mistakes or crimes. Marc built trust with his boys by holding their secrets, big and small, and never breaking their trust by breaking the rules of dead man's talks. Another way Marc built his relationship with his boys was through physical affection: hugs, kisses, and holding hands. He and the boys had love wars where there are no losers. In love wars, the goal is to prove you love the other person more.
Having such a close relationship with his sons made it almost unbearable for Marc when Cole was tragically killed in a car accident in college. Only in death was Marc able to see the amazing number of people Cole had influenced during his life. As the family and Texas football struggled to recover from losing Cole, their memories, feelings, and lessons eventually lead to the writing of this book. So, love your people hard. Hold secrets like a dead man. Don't be afraid to show love because you never know how long we have together. Thanks, Travis for this recommendation.
This book is for fathers and men in father roles.
(Rated PG-13, Score 8/10, audiobook read by the author, 3:38)
Marc just tried to be the dad he wanted growing up. Growing up Marc was fearless. He courted death with crazy stunts like wrestling a bear. Running with a rough construction crowd, Marc didn't fear anything. Finally, he realized that he needed to heavily invest in his relationships with his sons. As Cole and Chase grew up, he used work as a reason to spend time together. As the boys grew up, they would have dead man's talks. The rules of dead man's talks were simple- when you tell a dead man a secret, he keeps it. A dead man doesn't panic or over-react when handed a secret. A dead man doesn't lecture or judge or get angry when they hear about secret mistakes or crimes. Marc built trust with his boys by holding their secrets, big and small, and never breaking their trust by breaking the rules of dead man's talks. Another way Marc built his relationship with his boys was through physical affection: hugs, kisses, and holding hands. He and the boys had love wars where there are no losers. In love wars, the goal is to prove you love the other person more.
Having such a close relationship with his sons made it almost unbearable for Marc when Cole was tragically killed in a car accident in college. Only in death was Marc able to see the amazing number of people Cole had influenced during his life. As the family and Texas football struggled to recover from losing Cole, their memories, feelings, and lessons eventually lead to the writing of this book. So, love your people hard. Hold secrets like a dead man. Don't be afraid to show love because you never know how long we have together. Thanks, Travis for this recommendation.
This book is for fathers and men in father roles.
(Rated PG-13, Score 8/10, audiobook read by the author, 3:38)
April 29, 2009
This was a very good book for me to read right now, and I sincerely thank my friend Stan for recommending..insisting that I read it. My wife and I have two 2 year old boys at home.
Although my upbringing was not as rough as Cole's father, Marc Pittman, I struggle with trying to identify and remedy areas in which my parents fell short and replicate the love that was shown to me. This book is heart breaking to listen to him talk about how invested he was in his son and then lose him. It goes to show that our days are numbered and that we have to do the best with who we and what we have to offer.
This is a very honest book about everything that the author was going through. At times, it was heart-felt, it was brutal, it was arrogant, it was direct and to the point, and it showed the greatest love of all. The last few chapters had me glued to the binding, and there was no way I was putting it down before finishing it. I really enjoyed his descriptions on the "Dead Man's Talk" and can see that being something that I will adopt into my relationship with my sons.
It was hard for me growing up to really connect verbally to my parents and build that since of trust that no matter what I told them was proprietary between them and me.
Although my upbringing was not as rough as Cole's father, Marc Pittman, I struggle with trying to identify and remedy areas in which my parents fell short and replicate the love that was shown to me. This book is heart breaking to listen to him talk about how invested he was in his son and then lose him. It goes to show that our days are numbered and that we have to do the best with who we and what we have to offer.
This is a very honest book about everything that the author was going through. At times, it was heart-felt, it was brutal, it was arrogant, it was direct and to the point, and it showed the greatest love of all. The last few chapters had me glued to the binding, and there was no way I was putting it down before finishing it. I really enjoyed his descriptions on the "Dead Man's Talk" and can see that being something that I will adopt into my relationship with my sons.
It was hard for me growing up to really connect verbally to my parents and build that since of trust that no matter what I told them was proprietary between them and me.
June 13, 2014
I gave this book a 5 out of 5 because this is an amazing book. I gave it a 5 out of 5 because it is different from any other book I read this book is full of drama, sadness, and a lot of other emotions. This book is about the tragedy of a father losing one of their sons. I also gave it a 5 out of 5 because Mark describes how Cole had an impact on everyone he was around.
I liked this book a lot because you could feel the sadness and the despair that Mark felt about losing his son. Another reason I liked this book was because Mark told a lot of stories about him and Cole going on adventures and it was very moving because each adventure he told was a symbolic thing that Mark remembers about Cole.
I liked this book a lot because you could feel the sadness and the despair that Mark felt about losing his son. Another reason I liked this book was because Mark told a lot of stories about him and Cole going on adventures and it was very moving because each adventure he told was a symbolic thing that Mark remembers about Cole.
May 14, 2008
I know that this book is written by a relative of someone near and dear to my heart, which made it really special to me. Also, it is about a boy named Cole, which made it even more special
And it is about a father LOSING that son, which was HEARTBREAKING and had me sobbing at many points throughout.
However, I GET that their relationship was special. I GET that the author LOVED his son. I GET that the sons LOVED their daddy in a HUGE, HUGE way. I just could not shake being irritated with the author a lot of the time. I also know that grieving makes one selfish like nothing else ever could, but that didn't stop my annoyance with the author at times.
And it is about a father LOSING that son, which was HEARTBREAKING and had me sobbing at many points throughout.
However, I GET that their relationship was special. I GET that the author LOVED his son. I GET that the sons LOVED their daddy in a HUGE, HUGE way. I just could not shake being irritated with the author a lot of the time. I also know that grieving makes one selfish like nothing else ever could, but that didn't stop my annoyance with the author at times.
June 29, 2012
I was fortunate to hear Marc Pittman speak at Shreve Memorial Library in Shreveport, La. I bought his book after his heart warming story of how he handled the death of his son, Cole Pittman. Its the kind of book you can't put down once you start it. The gamut of emotion in this book is startling. One minute you are crying, the next laughing, the next smiling as you see how his story of raising his sons might relate to your own story. I recommend this book for ANY parent, with ANY situation.
June 27, 2009
A good story of the love between a father & his sons. The tragedy is every parents' nightmare & reminds us that our time on earth with our loved ones can be over unexpectedly & suddenly and that we should make to most of the time we have.
Read
February 24, 2013It's an excellent account of this man's wonderful relationship with his sons and most importantly the relationship he has with God. I cried when I got to the end. I met Marc Pittman in person and he is just a joy to meet and talk to.
July 27, 2011
This is one of the best books I've ever read! Every dad should read it!
August 8, 2011
A must read!
January 5, 2012
Awesome book that taught me a lot about the father I want to be one day.
April 21, 2012
Great book in my opinion. Biographies and Memoirs are my favorite, and this was a superb read.
August 22, 2012
Very easy read. Well written and heart felt. I've recommended this to many
December 3, 2012
recommended by Chris Bergeron.
excellent book on raising children. I loved the concept of the dead man's talk and the love wars. it's helped me be a better father already.
excellent book on raising children. I loved the concept of the dead man's talk and the love wars. it's helped me be a better father already.
December 25, 2012
Must read for any father, great sports story and how to raise a son.
Read
November 14, 2013Excellent book. Met the author and he is a great man. Recommended for men for sure.
March 19, 2012
Great book that every parent should read.
Displaying 1 - 26 of 26 reviews