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The Aloha Bride
Julian's proposition came at the wrong time
Alone on what should have been her honeymoon, Robyn felt the tropical paradise of Maui seemed to mock her. Yet she was determined not to be hurt again, and her reaction to Julian was one of anger.
"You came down here thinking you could buy me. And I will not be bought. Not with the great Lassiter name nor your wealth nor power... nor person."
Yet in spite of everything, she found herself wanting to solve Julian Lassiter's problems in a way that was not merely reckless, but positively dangerous!
Alone on what should have been her honeymoon, Robyn felt the tropical paradise of Maui seemed to mock her. Yet she was determined not to be hurt again, and her reaction to Julian was one of anger.
"You came down here thinking you could buy me. And I will not be bought. Not with the great Lassiter name nor your wealth nor power... nor person."
Yet in spite of everything, she found herself wanting to solve Julian Lassiter's problems in a way that was not merely reckless, but positively dangerous!
188 pages, Mass Market Paperback
First published January 1, 1989
1 person is currently reading
143 people want to read
About the author
Emma Darcy
640 books326 followersEmma Darcy is the pseudonym created by the married writing team of Wendy (1940-2020) and Frank Brennan (1936-1995). Their life journey has taken as many twists and turns as the characters in their stories, whose international popularity has resulted in over sixty-million book sales. With more than a hundred titles, Emma Darcy appeared regularly on the Waldenbooks bestseller lists in the U.S.A. and in the Nielson BookScan Top 100 chart in the U.K.
Wendy was born 28 November 1940 in Australia. Her sister was the novelist Maureen Mary (Miranda Lee). Her father was a country school teacher and brilliant sportsman. Her mother was a talented dressmaker. She obtained an Honours degree in Latin and initially worked as a high school English/French teacher. She married Frank Brennan, an Australian businessman born in 1936. She changed careers to computer programming before marriage and motherhood settled her into a community life. She was reputedly the first woman computer programmer in the southern hemisphere.
As voracious readers, the step to writing their own books seemed a natural progression and the challenge of creating exciting stories was soon highly addictive. They were published since 1983. In 1993, for the Emma Darcy pseudonym's 10th anniversary, they created the "Emma Darcy Award Contest" to encourage authors to finish their manuscripts. After the death of Frank Brennan in 1995, Wendy wrotes books on her own. She lived in a beachside property on the central coast of New South Wales, and liked to travel extensively to research settings and increase her experience of places and people.
Wendy Brennan passed away on December 21, 2020. She is survived by her children, grandchildren, and sister, writer Miranda Lee.
Wendy was born 28 November 1940 in Australia. Her sister was the novelist Maureen Mary (Miranda Lee). Her father was a country school teacher and brilliant sportsman. Her mother was a talented dressmaker. She obtained an Honours degree in Latin and initially worked as a high school English/French teacher. She married Frank Brennan, an Australian businessman born in 1936. She changed careers to computer programming before marriage and motherhood settled her into a community life. She was reputedly the first woman computer programmer in the southern hemisphere.
As voracious readers, the step to writing their own books seemed a natural progression and the challenge of creating exciting stories was soon highly addictive. They were published since 1983. In 1993, for the Emma Darcy pseudonym's 10th anniversary, they created the "Emma Darcy Award Contest" to encourage authors to finish their manuscripts. After the death of Frank Brennan in 1995, Wendy wrotes books on her own. She lived in a beachside property on the central coast of New South Wales, and liked to travel extensively to research settings and increase her experience of places and people.
Wendy Brennan passed away on December 21, 2020. She is survived by her children, grandchildren, and sister, writer Miranda Lee.
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February 5, 2017
Re The Aloha Bride - "Eye to eye, face to face, I greet you and give to you my peace, in fact, the very breath of life,"
With those words we are off on another whacktastic ED adventure into HPlandia. This one is a trainwreck with an avalanche and a tsunami tossing it all up. ED must have been reading their The Blue Fairy Book while they were kicking it in Hawaii for this one. Cause AB is also a very unique pastiche reinvention of the mythic trope of the search for the lost husband. A trope that is reflected in countless versions of various myths and fairytales the world over - in short, this one is pretty epic.
What we have here folks, is the HPlandia inversion of Cupid and Psyche: A Mythological Tale, from the "Golden Ass" of Apuleius Or, as it is more commonly known for all those fortunate enough to be introduced in childhood to Andrew Lang - Kay Nielsen: East of the Sun and West of the Moon
The original story (whatever version you pick up - Greek Myth or Norwegian Fairy Tale), is about a sweet young thing, very kind and innocent, who marries an unknown man to save her family. She is taken to a magnificent estate, sometimes by a bear and sometimes by an invisible servant, and at night an unknown and unseen lover (her husband,) comes to her. Things happen, as they tend to do when bodies are naked together in the dark.
But tho her husband is kind and the boudoir bouncing is fierce, the young lady can't help feeling a bit homesick and begs leave to see her family. Her enigmatic and still unseen bridegroom grants her wish, but tells her that she must not listen to the pleas of her mother and sisters when they ask her to betray her husband.
The young lady agrees and off to see her family she goes. Eventually she succumbs to the blandishments of the jealous female members of her family and when she returns to her mysterious husband, she lights a lamp to see just what she is sharing her bed with. In that instant the husband realizes he has been betrayed and he tells his wife that she has invoked a terrible curse and he is whirled away into the night. Everything vanishes and the young lady is left alone, with a few scraps of food and inadequate clothing - the fairy tale version of the HP grotty flat and tinned beans subtrope.
Feeling horrible guilt for her deep betrayal, she then has to go on a quest for a year and a day to find her missing husband. It seems since she did not keep her troth, he will be wed to another and the young lady has to not only find where he is hidden, (hence the title,) she also has to figure out a way to save him and atone for her lack of faith. With the help of various mystical and prophetic beings, she manages to do so and wins her lost bridegroom back in the end against impossible odds.
The story is always told from the pov of the young maiden, the husband's thoughts and his activities are never mentioned in the story. The h has to quest for atonement and then through much sacrifice and faith, she is reunited with her beloved at the end.
I have long wondered at the whole idear that a girl who was trying to save her family was forced into horrible deprivations to prove her love and devotion all because she simply couldn't continue in blind obedience and darkness. I like the story and the myth, but I have always believed that that poor girl really got the bad end of the bargain - love shouldn't have to mean ignorance, isolation and subjugation.
In fact real love should be the utmost expression of equality and partnership, the pairing should bring out the best in each partner with plenty of sharing communication, not be a method of the sacrifice of one for the aggrandizement of the other. An orgasm is no reason to bind oneself into ignorant servitude - even if there are marriage vows.
ED brings a nice little inverted twist to this classic story. The book starts with the recently un-engaged and dumped h - who has very little faith in human kindness. Her mother and her sisters run through men like water, keeping the h at a distance and because of the disturbingly hinted at bad intentions of a former step-father, the h has felt lonely and isolated for years. This isolation has forged a very strong sense of inner reliance to which her family cannot relate. The h has so much inner fortitude, that she takes herself off to Hawaii alone, on what was supposed to be her honeymoon.
When she arrives, determined to have an excellent time and freshly dressed in blue shorts with tropical fish, she saves a little old lady from being crushed by a fork lift at the airport. In the first verified instance of true psychic esp in HPlandia, the little old lady prophesies that the hot business dude in the bespoke suit who gave the h a good look over before dismissing her as arm candy is going to be her future husband- but there will be great humongous pain before the heavenly bliss can settle in.
The h, who was eyeing the hot business guy like he was cotton candy and she had a big sweet tooth, is a bit unnerved and whole lot skeptical. Hot dudes in bespoke suits don't marry small time independent holiday trekking arranging business ladies like herself - they have no appreciation for the colorful and cheerful array of tropical fish shorts every true HP h on vacation can't help but splurge on when they go to Maui.
Nevertheless, Hot Bespoke Suit Dude overhears the h asking for the airport hotel shuttle and offers to share his cab. There are LOOKS and eyeballs are tempted to start undressing people. However, self control is maintained, cause while the tension may be electric in the air, the words the H and h share are pretty politely hostile. The H hates women and the h isn't too keen on using and losing men. We all arrive at the luxury hotel and get checked in with a lot of travelogue description - the place does sound pretty nice.
The h wanders off to have dinner in the fancy almost outdoor five star restaurant, unfortunately she hasn't booked a table and so she is going off to try her luck somewhere else. The HP quantum butterfly effect kicks in, and the h runs right into Mr. Tall Dark and Hot Bespoke Suit H and his similar but obviously ill red headed half brother. The h wants to eat in the hotel's best restaurant? No problem, Mr. T D Bespoke's brother is sure another chair can be set at the table. The unknowing future baby mama h interview begins.
After ordering a $1500.00 bottle of wine, Mr. T D Bespoke's brother starts in the on the subtle questioning. As the meal goes on, it is very obvious the man (who is an almost Nobel Prize winner cancer researcher dying of leukemia after a tragic lab accident,) really, really likes what he sees. In fact when the h and H arrived together earlier, the brother thought that Mr. T D Widower Bespoke Suit had given up on his misogyny towards the female gender and brought himself a lady for rest and relaxation. The brother is a bit disappointed that isn't so, but that is okay, really. His brilliant genius level brain has another whacktastic idear.
Since the h is an astute and innovative business lady who is also kind and obviously sensitive to the dying brother's suffering. AND since she has no attached or unattached males trailing her around, the brother thinks that the h would be the perfect vessel to carry his future Nobel Prize winning offspring. Mr. T D Bespoke Suit H is sent to the h with a very lucrative proposition involving a pregnancy and a lot of money for the rest of her life.
The h initially tells Mr. Bespoke Suited CEO of a Big Drug Company "No Way Jose, I am not a disposable baby mama." But the obvious distress of the H and the inner compassion for a dying man gets the best of the h, and she agrees to think about a marriage in name only to the brother and a few shots for the lurve club emissions to hit that eggy target, with a baby being the grand prize bonus.
One helicopter ride and an overwhelming sense of fatal attraction for the H later, and the h is agreeing to be the Potential Nobel Prize Winner Baby Mama. Tho it has to be in the dark and really anonymous boudoir moments, cause the h just isn't that kinda girl. She plans to lie back and think of Himalayan Trekking. Tho she really does want a baby to love, maybe then she won't have such isolation. The wedding ceremony is done and the brother commends the h to the H's care - the brother is staring to fade away and the h is very saddened at the tragedy.
That night, in the dark and invisible, the lurve club hits it target and the h is swept away by passion - tho she would swear that it is the H and not his brother that is swinging. After a full day of soaking up some shame for her wanton in the dark behavior, the h is ready for a second at bat and this time the lurvin goes all night long - she is praying hard that is the H doing the practice. The next night, the h's torment and her almost certainty that it is the H overcomes her reluctance to really have proof she is tangoing with a dying man. So when her door creaks open cause she had conveniently given out a second key, the h takes charge and turns on the light.
The H is standing in the doorway and explains that he was just about to speak, but did not want to startle the h. Unfortunately the H's brother's condition is dire. He won't be up to any dancing in the dark tonight. There are harsh words and the h is feeling the prophetic promised pain, she kicks the H out and dinks around for the rest of the week. Then she goes home and waits to see if the stork will arrive.
A few weeks later, after tremendous mopey moments cause she really, really loves or is really, really ensorcelled by the H, the stork is due to land in approximately eight months. The h calls the CEO office and leaves a message - after getting a nasty visit from the dying brother's mother-who calls the h a little gold digger con artist tart and the h has to kick her out.
We now start on the obligatory HPlandia h torment part, cause the h is totally in love with the H. Yet she can never be with him cause she had spectacular tower of power lurve mojo moments with his brother and that tower climb will forever keep her and the H apart. In fact she can't even bear to see the H and it was priorly agreed that she would not keep in contact with her husband, he has dying to do and she has a baby cooking and that is not a good combination.
The H manages to sneak a mystic helper, er his top female trouble shooter, in to help the h with her business and keep her company during the day for the duration of her preggerness and via this plot device we find out that the H is VERY interested in the h. Mystic troubleshooter gives the H daily reports on the h.
We also find out that the H's marriage was terrible. He married an exceedingly beautiful, but vain and selfish woman who did not want to do the preggerness routine cause it would ruin her figure. Then a barbecue exploded and the wife was horribly disfigured and not even all the H's money could buy her enough plastic surgery to restore her previous level of beauty, so the wife took an overdose of pills and died. This left the H with a very, very big bias against all women, so that explains the H's initial hostility.
The h manages to reconnect with her own family, and establishes a better relationship with her mum and her sisters. (It was nice to see female relationships being repaired and healed in another subtle inversion of the original story, the women become close and supportive instead of bitter and envious.) Then it is time for the baby to arrive.
The H's brother is still hanging on by a thread and right after the H helps the h to birth her daughter, the H's brother passes away after seeing the little bundle of joy. We all have a little weepy moment, and the h is very sad that her daughter's first breaths are taken with the brother's last.
But the good news is the H proposed and declared huge amounts of nothing but love in his heart for the h before she was fully dilated for labor. Then he had to apologize for popping the big question complete with lurve declaration while she was in the middle of things.
The h takes a time out to push, then gives the H a big "YES I WILL MARRY YOU", right after she gets a huge dose of anesthetizing gas. Things are going okay and the H is visiting everyday in the lead up to the wedding. The h and the H's family have made their peace and since the brother's mother was a pediatrician, there is plenty of baby raising advice at hand and everyone is closest mutually supportive family and friends.
Finally the h just HAS TO KNOW, and she coerces the H right into bed - in anticipation of the wedding vows they were waiting for three months after the brother's death to make. The lurve club mojo doesn't lie and the h FEELS the truth. It really was the H doing the baby making, but now the h wants to know why. Cue up the big declarations please - I hear a viola playing in the background.
The H explains that he hated the ladies, then he met the h and she restored his faith in womankind. The H loved his half brother too and was terribly sad over his fate. He had to do his best to grant his dying wish of a little bundle of joy to carry forth. The brother thought that turkey basters were abundant in Hawaii and generously donated lurve essence for the basting party those two nights.
But the H found out his brother was sterile from the isotopic accident that exposed him to cancer, so the H jumped aboard the crazy train and rode the lurve club home. He totally scored and it was great and he is soooo totally in love the h. But his brother was dying and only wanted a little living legacy to leave behind, so the H lied, A LOT, in both omission and commission. Then he spent the next eight months in lonely mental isolation wasteland and yearned and longed for the h.
The H also explains to the h that their red headed daughter, who has the same coloring as the H's brother and father, will probably not be a Nobel Prize winner, cause the genes for that came from the H's stepmother's side of the DNA blueprint. The h is okay with it tho, cause their daughter will know all about being a Nobel Prize Level Giver of Love, just like her dark haired father. We leave h and H and the little Titian haired child, Faith, all cozied up for a lifetime of happiness through great tragedy and then conclude another dramawrecki epic crazy train ride for the HPlandia HEA.
This one is a trainwreck classic. There is a ton of angst and a ton of very dubious dealings that you kinda overlook cause of the sheer audacity of the plot. I must confess that I hold this one in considerable esteem tho. ED takes the basis of some very old myths and fairy tales that were remarkably skewed to espouse and enforce female submission and subjugation and manages to create a unique, almost feministic answer to the dictates of a society that once said that women should blindly obey their male partners in all things and that any curiosity and incursion on the rules would result in the harshest retaliation towards the woman who disobeyed them.
I liked that this h turns on the light and is totally justified in doing so, because she is not - as she sternly informs the H - a piece of property to be passed around like chattel between the two men. Most especially because she is involved with the two of them based on an act of compassion. I liked that in this version, it is the H who has to seek and suffer and be isolated because it is HIS infractions that cause the most harm - the h was trying to do a good thing and have a dying man's last wish by carrying his child. In spite of all the harsh treatment she has received, she is still kind enough to be compassionate. It is the H's relentless attempts to control and manipulate (just like in the original stories) that bring about so much grief.
I really like that ED goes out of their way to show that unthinking loyalty and obedience is NOT something that anyone can demand and especially not when those demands involve deep personal intimacy. A wedding ring is not a shackle of a person's will or a guarantee of submission for one partner's gratification. ED is saying that women and wives are worth more, they have a right to know who or what they are sleeping with and a right to reject the unsatisfactory partner - even if the physical is exquisite. No one should be forced into blind faith. Lies and deceit have no place in a loving relationship, and any woman who feels coerced into blind obedience and possession has every right to reach out and turn on the light.
With those words we are off on another whacktastic ED adventure into HPlandia. This one is a trainwreck with an avalanche and a tsunami tossing it all up. ED must have been reading their The Blue Fairy Book while they were kicking it in Hawaii for this one. Cause AB is also a very unique pastiche reinvention of the mythic trope of the search for the lost husband. A trope that is reflected in countless versions of various myths and fairytales the world over - in short, this one is pretty epic.
What we have here folks, is the HPlandia inversion of Cupid and Psyche: A Mythological Tale, from the "Golden Ass" of Apuleius Or, as it is more commonly known for all those fortunate enough to be introduced in childhood to Andrew Lang - Kay Nielsen: East of the Sun and West of the Moon
The original story (whatever version you pick up - Greek Myth or Norwegian Fairy Tale), is about a sweet young thing, very kind and innocent, who marries an unknown man to save her family. She is taken to a magnificent estate, sometimes by a bear and sometimes by an invisible servant, and at night an unknown and unseen lover (her husband,) comes to her. Things happen, as they tend to do when bodies are naked together in the dark.
But tho her husband is kind and the boudoir bouncing is fierce, the young lady can't help feeling a bit homesick and begs leave to see her family. Her enigmatic and still unseen bridegroom grants her wish, but tells her that she must not listen to the pleas of her mother and sisters when they ask her to betray her husband.
The young lady agrees and off to see her family she goes. Eventually she succumbs to the blandishments of the jealous female members of her family and when she returns to her mysterious husband, she lights a lamp to see just what she is sharing her bed with. In that instant the husband realizes he has been betrayed and he tells his wife that she has invoked a terrible curse and he is whirled away into the night. Everything vanishes and the young lady is left alone, with a few scraps of food and inadequate clothing - the fairy tale version of the HP grotty flat and tinned beans subtrope.
Feeling horrible guilt for her deep betrayal, she then has to go on a quest for a year and a day to find her missing husband. It seems since she did not keep her troth, he will be wed to another and the young lady has to not only find where he is hidden, (hence the title,) she also has to figure out a way to save him and atone for her lack of faith. With the help of various mystical and prophetic beings, she manages to do so and wins her lost bridegroom back in the end against impossible odds.
The story is always told from the pov of the young maiden, the husband's thoughts and his activities are never mentioned in the story. The h has to quest for atonement and then through much sacrifice and faith, she is reunited with her beloved at the end.
I have long wondered at the whole idear that a girl who was trying to save her family was forced into horrible deprivations to prove her love and devotion all because she simply couldn't continue in blind obedience and darkness. I like the story and the myth, but I have always believed that that poor girl really got the bad end of the bargain - love shouldn't have to mean ignorance, isolation and subjugation.
In fact real love should be the utmost expression of equality and partnership, the pairing should bring out the best in each partner with plenty of sharing communication, not be a method of the sacrifice of one for the aggrandizement of the other. An orgasm is no reason to bind oneself into ignorant servitude - even if there are marriage vows.
ED brings a nice little inverted twist to this classic story. The book starts with the recently un-engaged and dumped h - who has very little faith in human kindness. Her mother and her sisters run through men like water, keeping the h at a distance and because of the disturbingly hinted at bad intentions of a former step-father, the h has felt lonely and isolated for years. This isolation has forged a very strong sense of inner reliance to which her family cannot relate. The h has so much inner fortitude, that she takes herself off to Hawaii alone, on what was supposed to be her honeymoon.
When she arrives, determined to have an excellent time and freshly dressed in blue shorts with tropical fish, she saves a little old lady from being crushed by a fork lift at the airport. In the first verified instance of true psychic esp in HPlandia, the little old lady prophesies that the hot business dude in the bespoke suit who gave the h a good look over before dismissing her as arm candy is going to be her future husband- but there will be great humongous pain before the heavenly bliss can settle in.
The h, who was eyeing the hot business guy like he was cotton candy and she had a big sweet tooth, is a bit unnerved and whole lot skeptical. Hot dudes in bespoke suits don't marry small time independent holiday trekking arranging business ladies like herself - they have no appreciation for the colorful and cheerful array of tropical fish shorts every true HP h on vacation can't help but splurge on when they go to Maui.
Nevertheless, Hot Bespoke Suit Dude overhears the h asking for the airport hotel shuttle and offers to share his cab. There are LOOKS and eyeballs are tempted to start undressing people. However, self control is maintained, cause while the tension may be electric in the air, the words the H and h share are pretty politely hostile. The H hates women and the h isn't too keen on using and losing men. We all arrive at the luxury hotel and get checked in with a lot of travelogue description - the place does sound pretty nice.
The h wanders off to have dinner in the fancy almost outdoor five star restaurant, unfortunately she hasn't booked a table and so she is going off to try her luck somewhere else. The HP quantum butterfly effect kicks in, and the h runs right into Mr. Tall Dark and Hot Bespoke Suit H and his similar but obviously ill red headed half brother. The h wants to eat in the hotel's best restaurant? No problem, Mr. T D Bespoke's brother is sure another chair can be set at the table. The unknowing future baby mama h interview begins.
After ordering a $1500.00 bottle of wine, Mr. T D Bespoke's brother starts in the on the subtle questioning. As the meal goes on, it is very obvious the man (who is an almost Nobel Prize winner cancer researcher dying of leukemia after a tragic lab accident,) really, really likes what he sees. In fact when the h and H arrived together earlier, the brother thought that Mr. T D Widower Bespoke Suit had given up on his misogyny towards the female gender and brought himself a lady for rest and relaxation. The brother is a bit disappointed that isn't so, but that is okay, really. His brilliant genius level brain has another whacktastic idear.
Since the h is an astute and innovative business lady who is also kind and obviously sensitive to the dying brother's suffering. AND since she has no attached or unattached males trailing her around, the brother thinks that the h would be the perfect vessel to carry his future Nobel Prize winning offspring. Mr. T D Bespoke Suit H is sent to the h with a very lucrative proposition involving a pregnancy and a lot of money for the rest of her life.
The h initially tells Mr. Bespoke Suited CEO of a Big Drug Company "No Way Jose, I am not a disposable baby mama." But the obvious distress of the H and the inner compassion for a dying man gets the best of the h, and she agrees to think about a marriage in name only to the brother and a few shots for the lurve club emissions to hit that eggy target, with a baby being the grand prize bonus.
One helicopter ride and an overwhelming sense of fatal attraction for the H later, and the h is agreeing to be the Potential Nobel Prize Winner Baby Mama. Tho it has to be in the dark and really anonymous boudoir moments, cause the h just isn't that kinda girl. She plans to lie back and think of Himalayan Trekking. Tho she really does want a baby to love, maybe then she won't have such isolation. The wedding ceremony is done and the brother commends the h to the H's care - the brother is staring to fade away and the h is very saddened at the tragedy.
That night, in the dark and invisible, the lurve club hits it target and the h is swept away by passion - tho she would swear that it is the H and not his brother that is swinging. After a full day of soaking up some shame for her wanton in the dark behavior, the h is ready for a second at bat and this time the lurvin goes all night long - she is praying hard that is the H doing the practice. The next night, the h's torment and her almost certainty that it is the H overcomes her reluctance to really have proof she is tangoing with a dying man. So when her door creaks open cause she had conveniently given out a second key, the h takes charge and turns on the light.
The H is standing in the doorway and explains that he was just about to speak, but did not want to startle the h. Unfortunately the H's brother's condition is dire. He won't be up to any dancing in the dark tonight. There are harsh words and the h is feeling the prophetic promised pain, she kicks the H out and dinks around for the rest of the week. Then she goes home and waits to see if the stork will arrive.
A few weeks later, after tremendous mopey moments cause she really, really loves or is really, really ensorcelled by the H, the stork is due to land in approximately eight months. The h calls the CEO office and leaves a message - after getting a nasty visit from the dying brother's mother-who calls the h a little gold digger con artist tart and the h has to kick her out.
We now start on the obligatory HPlandia h torment part, cause the h is totally in love with the H. Yet she can never be with him cause she had spectacular tower of power lurve mojo moments with his brother and that tower climb will forever keep her and the H apart. In fact she can't even bear to see the H and it was priorly agreed that she would not keep in contact with her husband, he has dying to do and she has a baby cooking and that is not a good combination.
The H manages to sneak a mystic helper, er his top female trouble shooter, in to help the h with her business and keep her company during the day for the duration of her preggerness and via this plot device we find out that the H is VERY interested in the h. Mystic troubleshooter gives the H daily reports on the h.
We also find out that the H's marriage was terrible. He married an exceedingly beautiful, but vain and selfish woman who did not want to do the preggerness routine cause it would ruin her figure. Then a barbecue exploded and the wife was horribly disfigured and not even all the H's money could buy her enough plastic surgery to restore her previous level of beauty, so the wife took an overdose of pills and died. This left the H with a very, very big bias against all women, so that explains the H's initial hostility.
The h manages to reconnect with her own family, and establishes a better relationship with her mum and her sisters. (It was nice to see female relationships being repaired and healed in another subtle inversion of the original story, the women become close and supportive instead of bitter and envious.) Then it is time for the baby to arrive.
The H's brother is still hanging on by a thread and right after the H helps the h to birth her daughter, the H's brother passes away after seeing the little bundle of joy. We all have a little weepy moment, and the h is very sad that her daughter's first breaths are taken with the brother's last.
But the good news is the H proposed and declared huge amounts of nothing but love in his heart for the h before she was fully dilated for labor. Then he had to apologize for popping the big question complete with lurve declaration while she was in the middle of things.
The h takes a time out to push, then gives the H a big "YES I WILL MARRY YOU", right after she gets a huge dose of anesthetizing gas. Things are going okay and the H is visiting everyday in the lead up to the wedding. The h and the H's family have made their peace and since the brother's mother was a pediatrician, there is plenty of baby raising advice at hand and everyone is closest mutually supportive family and friends.
Finally the h just HAS TO KNOW, and she coerces the H right into bed - in anticipation of the wedding vows they were waiting for three months after the brother's death to make. The lurve club mojo doesn't lie and the h FEELS the truth. It really was the H doing the baby making, but now the h wants to know why. Cue up the big declarations please - I hear a viola playing in the background.
The H explains that he hated the ladies, then he met the h and she restored his faith in womankind. The H loved his half brother too and was terribly sad over his fate. He had to do his best to grant his dying wish of a little bundle of joy to carry forth. The brother thought that turkey basters were abundant in Hawaii and generously donated lurve essence for the basting party those two nights.
But the H found out his brother was sterile from the isotopic accident that exposed him to cancer, so the H jumped aboard the crazy train and rode the lurve club home. He totally scored and it was great and he is soooo totally in love the h. But his brother was dying and only wanted a little living legacy to leave behind, so the H lied, A LOT, in both omission and commission. Then he spent the next eight months in lonely mental isolation wasteland and yearned and longed for the h.
The H also explains to the h that their red headed daughter, who has the same coloring as the H's brother and father, will probably not be a Nobel Prize winner, cause the genes for that came from the H's stepmother's side of the DNA blueprint. The h is okay with it tho, cause their daughter will know all about being a Nobel Prize Level Giver of Love, just like her dark haired father. We leave h and H and the little Titian haired child, Faith, all cozied up for a lifetime of happiness through great tragedy and then conclude another dramawrecki epic crazy train ride for the HPlandia HEA.
This one is a trainwreck classic. There is a ton of angst and a ton of very dubious dealings that you kinda overlook cause of the sheer audacity of the plot. I must confess that I hold this one in considerable esteem tho. ED takes the basis of some very old myths and fairy tales that were remarkably skewed to espouse and enforce female submission and subjugation and manages to create a unique, almost feministic answer to the dictates of a society that once said that women should blindly obey their male partners in all things and that any curiosity and incursion on the rules would result in the harshest retaliation towards the woman who disobeyed them.
I liked that this h turns on the light and is totally justified in doing so, because she is not - as she sternly informs the H - a piece of property to be passed around like chattel between the two men. Most especially because she is involved with the two of them based on an act of compassion. I liked that in this version, it is the H who has to seek and suffer and be isolated because it is HIS infractions that cause the most harm - the h was trying to do a good thing and have a dying man's last wish by carrying his child. In spite of all the harsh treatment she has received, she is still kind enough to be compassionate. It is the H's relentless attempts to control and manipulate (just like in the original stories) that bring about so much grief.
I really like that ED goes out of their way to show that unthinking loyalty and obedience is NOT something that anyone can demand and especially not when those demands involve deep personal intimacy. A wedding ring is not a shackle of a person's will or a guarantee of submission for one partner's gratification. ED is saying that women and wives are worth more, they have a right to know who or what they are sleeping with and a right to reject the unsatisfactory partner - even if the physical is exquisite. No one should be forced into blind faith. Lies and deceit have no place in a loving relationship, and any woman who feels coerced into blind obedience and possession has every right to reach out and turn on the light.
This entire review has been hidden because of spoilers.
October 14, 2017
Wow - such a squicky premise. Such a beautiful ending! I loved the Hawaiian setting and the heroine's deep compassion - starting with her rescue of the old lady and then opening her heart (and body) to a dying man.
The hero was equally self-sacrificing. He was obviously interested in the heroine himself, but felt he had to give his brother hope rather than keep the heroine's regard.
I also liked the reconciliation the heroine had with her family.
Boogenhagen has all the spoilers. But the premise is that the heroine will give the hero's brother (who is dying of cancer) a child. It's the hero the heroine is attracted to, and it is because of the hero's agony that she agrees to have sex in the dark in the hopes of getting pregnant. And the story goes from there . . .
I think this might be a five star for me - but I'll have to read it again to be sure. It is a dazzling angst-fest and not a plot you would ever forget.
The hero was equally self-sacrificing. He was obviously interested in the heroine himself, but felt he had to give his brother hope rather than keep the heroine's regard.
I also liked the reconciliation the heroine had with her family.
Boogenhagen has all the spoilers. But the premise is that the heroine will give the hero's brother (who is dying of cancer) a child. It's the hero the heroine is attracted to, and it is because of the hero's agony that she agrees to have sex in the dark in the hopes of getting pregnant. And the story goes from there . . .
I think this might be a five star for me - but I'll have to read it again to be sure. It is a dazzling angst-fest and not a plot you would ever forget.
October 24, 2019
I'm a huge fan of groveling. I don't think there's enough groveling in romance novels these days. I think people in Romancelandia are just way too forgiving. "So you slept with my step-mother, bankrupted my father, stole my virginity, saddled me with a bastard child--which left me despairing and desperate--financially blackmailed me to be your mistress... and now you're saying you're sorry for all of that and you've loved me all this time? Yeah, okay, that sounds legit. You're forgiven." But then I encounter this particular hero and after a couple of pages of his begging and crying, I actually say out loud, “Sack up, Julian. They can’t all be love ballads. Have some goddamn pride and get off of your knees. ” Oh yes, so horribly progressive of me, I know. But Julian Lassiter is kind of the worst.
He starts out as your garden-variety woman hater (and admits it with an almost saucy defiance) who thinks all women are soulless, gold-digging, soul-sucking bitches just because the ONE woman he married was vain, shallow, narcissistic, and an all-around useless human being. (Um…maybe instead of asking for the prettiest, shiniest sparkle-pony in all of the land for a wife to show off to your society friends, next time you should ask for passably pretty, kind, good to children and animals, amazing in bed despite being a sexually inexperienced virgin) Because of ONE woman, all women are conniving, money-hungry whores in his eyes. That there is the wide paintbrush with which he drags over female folk. ONE woman messed with his noggin and suddenly, he's a proud misanthrope. Seriously, they trust a guy with this kind of skewed judgment and prejudice to run a multi-billion dollar corporation? Heaven help us.
Our story starts with our heroine, Robyn Walker—passably pretty, kind, good to children and animals (plus, as we come to find out, the old and infirm), amazing in bed despite being a sexually inexperienced… young lady. Having grown up with a mother and sisters whose happiness seemed wholly dependent on men, she strives to be more independent even at the risk of alienating her family. But when faced with the idea of her fiancé Larry leaving her to get sex somewhere else, she surrenders her virginity to him but due to some unexplained trauma in her childhood apparently involving her mother’s husband, she is unable to enjoy the experience and Larry is unsatisfied. Not too much later she catches Larry in flagrante delicto with another woman and Larry more or less says it’s Robyn’s fault because she’s lousy in the sack (only with you, Larry).
Whoa… Zack Morris calls for a Time-Out. “Larry” is not a romance novel hero’s name. That’s not even remotely close to: Aidan, Luke, Caleb, Henry, Damien, Alejandro, Rafael, Nikolai, Jean-Luc, Theseus, Gabriel, or… Julian. That’s where Robyn went wrong. “Oh, Larry, faster, ohhhhh… faster…” Gross.
Robyn decides to get away from the drama and goes alone on her honeymoon trip to Hawaii, determined to have fun for a few days and just indulge herself. She won’t be looking around for men to hang out or party naked with; she will just be by herself, enjoying the warm Hawaiian sun, completely relaxing with zero worries. That was the plan, anyway. But then, as soon as she gets off the plane in Hawaii, she encounters a tall, dark, ridiculously attractive man in an expensive-looking suit standing around in baggage claim and Robyn finds herself breathless with desire and longing and all sorts of things she has never felt before. He looks at her and their eyes meet for a moment and he rakes his blue-steel gaze over her, then gives her a half-smirk that says, oh yes, Daddy likes. Before Robyn can even process what just happened, he walks off having already dismissed her from his mind.
Robyn is trying to mentally brush off the incident when she sees a forklift of suitcases about to topple over an old lady. Without thinking about her own safety, Robyn rushes forward and grabs the old lady out of the way, then waves at the forklift operator to stop. Luckily, the forklift stops just in time. Robyn checks on the old lady and the old lady complains of pain. So much pain. But not hers, she says. Robyn’s. The old lady is some sort of touch-psychic (why wouldn’t she be) and she caught a glimpse of Robyn’s future when Robyn grabbed her arm. Robyn, she intones mysteriously, is about to experience the greatest sadness to be followed by the greatest happiness. And that she’s going to be married very, very soon. Humoring the old lady, Robyn asks who the groom will be. The old lady points to gorgeous Lord Suit-and-Tie standing at the curb, talking to a cab driver. Robyn laughs and wishes the old lady well before walking off to find her own way to her hotel.
But the Duke of Sartorial Elegance witnesses Robyn’s heroic act of bravery and insists on sharing his cab with her since they’ll be heading to the same hotel. They introduce themselves to each other and lapse into awkward silence. Robyn sits stiffly, uncomfortably aware of his nearness and yummy smell, when he suddenly tells her to stop being so nervous because he’s not about to start hitting on her. While he finds her passably attractive, he tells her, he doesn’t have the time, the patience, nor the inclination to indulge in any kind of sexual shenanigans involving her person. Ever the charmer, our hero Julian tells Robyn he is not a big fan of the ladies. But, like, not in a gay way or anything. He openly admits to her that he thinks all women are vapid and shallow and mercenary and cruel and only good for one thing. MAKEOVERS!!! Stop it; he means they’re only good for sex and he is way super picky about his bed buddies, Robyn, so don’t even try. Gurrrl, no. Just no. Walk away, gurrrl. This will only end in heartbreak. Trust.
As soon as they reach the hotel, Robyn tries to make a run for it, but she isn't quick enough and is forced to meet David Lassiter, Julian’s younger and obviously seriously ill half-brother, who remarks giddily how thrilled he is to see Julian, the perpetual widower, with a woman at last. Robyn’s like, “Nope, byeeee!” and takes this opportunity to run away, hoping to never ever see either Lassiter again during the trip. Yeah, that's how Romancelandia works, all right.
That evening, Robyn decides to indulge herself with a dinner at the fanciest restaurant in the hotel but doesn't think to make a reservation, so she doesn’t get a table. Just as she's walking away, she serendipitously bumps into Lassiter Brothers who are on their way to the restaurant and of course, they have a reservation, and of course the hotel wouldn't mind adding an extra chair to their party since they're filthy-stinking rich and can get whatever they want. Robyn decides it would be bad manners to turn them down, so she grudgingly joins them at their table, whereupon Julian proceeds to order a $1500-bottle of wine, to which Robyn objects on principle and vows not to drink a drop of. Thankfully, the dinner conversation goes smoothly enough with David asking Robyn a bunch of questions designed to ferret out details about her life and personality, while Robyn answers cautiously, half-wondering why David smiled so approvingly whenever he agreed with the stuff she says and being vividly aware of Julian sitting just inches from her. Julian stays aloof through all this, surveying Robyn coolly from beneath the veil of his dark lashes and sipping on his $1500-bottle of wine. How do you like them apples.
Julian and Robyn are left alone when David complains of feeling ill and tells them he would like to return to their suite, insisting that Julian and Robyn stay and enjoy the ridiculously expensive wine. Robyn puts up a token of protest but even she has to admit how utterly magnetic and attractive she finds Julian and would like any excuse to stay with him. When the bill for dinner comes, Robyn insists on paying for her meal even as Julian tries to bully her into letting him pay for the meal, since she was their guest. Robyn says she hadn't intended to be their guest for the evening, so she's responsible for her own meal, and Julian magnanimously allows her to win. Julian begins to suspect that Robyn may be a dangerous breed of slutbag-whore that he'd never before encountered and finds himself marginally intrigued.
Back in her hotel room, Robyn is getting ready for bed when holy crap, Julian is suddenly on the phone, practically begging to see her as soon as possible and Robyn, thinking haha the day is mine, says yeah okay woo-hoo, come over to my room. Whoa, Yolanda, be cool. We gonna be like little Fonzies here. And what's the Fonz like? He's cool. Correctamundo. Be cool. Soon enough, Julian is by her side, looking feverishly passionate and smelling so darn good, proposing…a business deal? Kinky bastard!
During dinner, Robyn had mentioned wanting to have a child of her own once she is more financially secure, with or without a husband. This apparently inspired DAVEY’S GREAT IDEA and Julian is basically his fairy godmother, helping his dreams come true. David, he explains, is a brilliant scientist working on some cancer research when he accidentally got infected with some radioactive stuff and now he has advanced leukemia with only a few months to live. Davey is also a genius who was once nominated for the Nobel Prize and doesn't want to die without passing on his genetic material, especially since his big bro seems determined to never let sunshine into his life, much less the love of a family. Davey WANTS to have a baby and thinks Robyn would make the best candidate for a mother based on the answers she put forth during her interview at dinner. Yolanda, you were being interviewed to be a breeder and you didn't even know it? Daaaaang, you shoudda let them paid! Julian asks solemnly if she could marry Davey and carry his genius seed. Robyn does not outright laugh in his face.
In fact, Robyn tells him she'll seriously consider it. On one hand, dat ish cray. Like, are you for real, G?! You gonna agree to become the future widow and baby incubator of a dude you just met hours ago? On the other, she could make the last days of a dying man very happy and hooray, get a baby in the process. Julian assures her that she and the baby will never want for anything since the Lassiters are filthy stinking rich and promises that he will always be there for her, like a good big brother should be. Ouch. Robyn decides to do it because it is Julian who asked her and against all reason, she is already halfway in love with him. After all, if Julian were her brother-in-law, he would be a part of her family forever and she could see him all the time. Oooookay, then. He calls her an “Aloha Bride” because if you break down “aloha,” it basically means, “I see you. I give you my love, compassion, and share with you my breath of life.” Which is kind of nice and more profound than “Surf's up, bitches!”
Robyn and Davey marry by a hospital bed and Robyn does a good job of keeping her emotions in check, even as she is screaming inside, “It's you I want to marry, Julian! Oh why can't it be you? I should be getting impregnated by YOUR seed. Oh, Julian, won't you look at me? I don't want to marry your brother. I'm doing this for you. Oh God, love me!!!!” Gurrrrl, it's only been a couple of days. Get your mind right. She gives Julian an extra key to her room and tells him she'll be waiting for Davey with the lights off and could he please tell Davey to keep it that way because she’d really like it to be very dark. So she can hide from her own shame, I guess? Gurrrrl, if you're feeling this torn up about it, don't do it. Run away. Take your ass back to Australia. You don't need this.
Right at the appointed time, the lover lets himself into Robyn’s room and proceeds with Operation: Baby for Davey. Robyn tells herself to keep her eyes shut and just relax and pretend the lover is Julian. She finds herself more than pleasantly surprised when she runs her hands over his body and discovers that daaaaang, for a dude with cancer Davey sure feels strong and buff and warm… warm like life. She could swear it was Julian on top of her, adoringly humping away. She wonders if her mind is playing tricks on her because she's thinking about Julian so hard… the next morning, she's not so sure. The man who came to her room was Davey, right? But her body tells her it was Julian… wasn't it? WASN'T IT? On the third night, she turns on the light and finds out.
Anyway, you know how these things go when they hit the fan. Robyn goes back to Oz and tries to get on with her life, tries her best to forget that she ever met anyone named Lassiter. Only it's going to be a lot harder than she bargained for, especially when Operation: Baby for Davey turns out to be a raging success.
You know, I liked Robyn. Once the lady decides to hold her ground, she ain't yielding an inch. Even at her loneliest, most miserable moments, when just the very thought of Julian is a stab in the heart, she doesn't give in. She doesn't make excuses for herself. Whenever Julian comes over, she's really pretty good at kicking him out. She is resolute against his looks of yearning and words of adoration, even when he tells her that she, Robyn, has changed the way he thinks of women forever because she, UNLIKE HIS EVIL DEAD WIFE, is so giving, so generous, so selfless, so beautiful… oh Robyn, forgive him for initially thinking that all women are gold-digging skanks with no souls. You've changed him for the better, Robyn, you did that! Now please, please, let him get past the threshold. Good on ye, Robyn! Let the bastard suffer.
While I actually enjoyed reading this classic HP and wallowed with glee in the sea of angst, there were a few things that really made me scratch my head in confusion. 1) If Robyn was sexually traumatized as a child, what the heck was it like for her waiting in the dark for Davey, uncertain of what will happen next? That has to be mind-blowing. 2) Why assume that the baby batter has to come directly from the draft? Haven't these people heard of turkey-basting it? All Robyn needs is a little cup of Dave’s fresh stuff and science can take care of the rest. Why complicate it with sex? Isn't Julian the chairman of a multi-billion dollar corporation? Why didn't he think of that shit? 3) Why did I get annoyed instead of emotionally touched and tearful when Julian begs Robyn not to send him away? What is it about this particular groveling that didn't work for me?
Is anyone else bothered that Robyn fell in love with Julian within hours of meeting him even after he told her he hated women? I mean, she was willing to do anything he asked for the very next day. Marry your dying brother and carry his child? Absolutely! Can I fetch you a beer while I'm up? Methinks Robyn was the victim of a self-fulfilling prophecy: when the old lady predicted she will marry Julian, she was crushing on him so hard that she did everything in her power to make it happen. Dat ish cray.
Moral lesson: Don't get infected by radioactive stuff. It won't give you Marvel super powers, just cancer. Also, don't listen to psychic predictions that a weird old woman gives you at the airport . Dumbass tourist.
He starts out as your garden-variety woman hater (and admits it with an almost saucy defiance) who thinks all women are soulless, gold-digging, soul-sucking bitches just because the ONE woman he married was vain, shallow, narcissistic, and an all-around useless human being. (Um…maybe instead of asking for the prettiest, shiniest sparkle-pony in all of the land for a wife to show off to your society friends, next time you should ask for passably pretty, kind, good to children and animals, amazing in bed despite being a sexually inexperienced virgin) Because of ONE woman, all women are conniving, money-hungry whores in his eyes. That there is the wide paintbrush with which he drags over female folk. ONE woman messed with his noggin and suddenly, he's a proud misanthrope. Seriously, they trust a guy with this kind of skewed judgment and prejudice to run a multi-billion dollar corporation? Heaven help us.
Our story starts with our heroine, Robyn Walker—passably pretty, kind, good to children and animals (plus, as we come to find out, the old and infirm), amazing in bed despite being a sexually inexperienced… young lady. Having grown up with a mother and sisters whose happiness seemed wholly dependent on men, she strives to be more independent even at the risk of alienating her family. But when faced with the idea of her fiancé Larry leaving her to get sex somewhere else, she surrenders her virginity to him but due to some unexplained trauma in her childhood apparently involving her mother’s husband, she is unable to enjoy the experience and Larry is unsatisfied. Not too much later she catches Larry in flagrante delicto with another woman and Larry more or less says it’s Robyn’s fault because she’s lousy in the sack (only with you, Larry).
Whoa… Zack Morris calls for a Time-Out. “Larry” is not a romance novel hero’s name. That’s not even remotely close to: Aidan, Luke, Caleb, Henry, Damien, Alejandro, Rafael, Nikolai, Jean-Luc, Theseus, Gabriel, or… Julian. That’s where Robyn went wrong. “Oh, Larry, faster, ohhhhh… faster…” Gross.
Robyn decides to get away from the drama and goes alone on her honeymoon trip to Hawaii, determined to have fun for a few days and just indulge herself. She won’t be looking around for men to hang out or party naked with; she will just be by herself, enjoying the warm Hawaiian sun, completely relaxing with zero worries. That was the plan, anyway. But then, as soon as she gets off the plane in Hawaii, she encounters a tall, dark, ridiculously attractive man in an expensive-looking suit standing around in baggage claim and Robyn finds herself breathless with desire and longing and all sorts of things she has never felt before. He looks at her and their eyes meet for a moment and he rakes his blue-steel gaze over her, then gives her a half-smirk that says, oh yes, Daddy likes. Before Robyn can even process what just happened, he walks off having already dismissed her from his mind.
Robyn is trying to mentally brush off the incident when she sees a forklift of suitcases about to topple over an old lady. Without thinking about her own safety, Robyn rushes forward and grabs the old lady out of the way, then waves at the forklift operator to stop. Luckily, the forklift stops just in time. Robyn checks on the old lady and the old lady complains of pain. So much pain. But not hers, she says. Robyn’s. The old lady is some sort of touch-psychic (why wouldn’t she be) and she caught a glimpse of Robyn’s future when Robyn grabbed her arm. Robyn, she intones mysteriously, is about to experience the greatest sadness to be followed by the greatest happiness. And that she’s going to be married very, very soon. Humoring the old lady, Robyn asks who the groom will be. The old lady points to gorgeous Lord Suit-and-Tie standing at the curb, talking to a cab driver. Robyn laughs and wishes the old lady well before walking off to find her own way to her hotel.
But the Duke of Sartorial Elegance witnesses Robyn’s heroic act of bravery and insists on sharing his cab with her since they’ll be heading to the same hotel. They introduce themselves to each other and lapse into awkward silence. Robyn sits stiffly, uncomfortably aware of his nearness and yummy smell, when he suddenly tells her to stop being so nervous because he’s not about to start hitting on her. While he finds her passably attractive, he tells her, he doesn’t have the time, the patience, nor the inclination to indulge in any kind of sexual shenanigans involving her person. Ever the charmer, our hero Julian tells Robyn he is not a big fan of the ladies. But, like, not in a gay way or anything. He openly admits to her that he thinks all women are vapid and shallow and mercenary and cruel and only good for one thing. MAKEOVERS!!! Stop it; he means they’re only good for sex and he is way super picky about his bed buddies, Robyn, so don’t even try. Gurrrl, no. Just no. Walk away, gurrrl. This will only end in heartbreak. Trust.
As soon as they reach the hotel, Robyn tries to make a run for it, but she isn't quick enough and is forced to meet David Lassiter, Julian’s younger and obviously seriously ill half-brother, who remarks giddily how thrilled he is to see Julian, the perpetual widower, with a woman at last. Robyn’s like, “Nope, byeeee!” and takes this opportunity to run away, hoping to never ever see either Lassiter again during the trip. Yeah, that's how Romancelandia works, all right.
That evening, Robyn decides to indulge herself with a dinner at the fanciest restaurant in the hotel but doesn't think to make a reservation, so she doesn’t get a table. Just as she's walking away, she serendipitously bumps into Lassiter Brothers who are on their way to the restaurant and of course, they have a reservation, and of course the hotel wouldn't mind adding an extra chair to their party since they're filthy-stinking rich and can get whatever they want. Robyn decides it would be bad manners to turn them down, so she grudgingly joins them at their table, whereupon Julian proceeds to order a $1500-bottle of wine, to which Robyn objects on principle and vows not to drink a drop of. Thankfully, the dinner conversation goes smoothly enough with David asking Robyn a bunch of questions designed to ferret out details about her life and personality, while Robyn answers cautiously, half-wondering why David smiled so approvingly whenever he agreed with the stuff she says and being vividly aware of Julian sitting just inches from her. Julian stays aloof through all this, surveying Robyn coolly from beneath the veil of his dark lashes and sipping on his $1500-bottle of wine. How do you like them apples.
Julian and Robyn are left alone when David complains of feeling ill and tells them he would like to return to their suite, insisting that Julian and Robyn stay and enjoy the ridiculously expensive wine. Robyn puts up a token of protest but even she has to admit how utterly magnetic and attractive she finds Julian and would like any excuse to stay with him. When the bill for dinner comes, Robyn insists on paying for her meal even as Julian tries to bully her into letting him pay for the meal, since she was their guest. Robyn says she hadn't intended to be their guest for the evening, so she's responsible for her own meal, and Julian magnanimously allows her to win. Julian begins to suspect that Robyn may be a dangerous breed of slutbag-whore that he'd never before encountered and finds himself marginally intrigued.
Back in her hotel room, Robyn is getting ready for bed when holy crap, Julian is suddenly on the phone, practically begging to see her as soon as possible and Robyn, thinking haha the day is mine, says yeah okay woo-hoo, come over to my room. Whoa, Yolanda, be cool. We gonna be like little Fonzies here. And what's the Fonz like? He's cool. Correctamundo. Be cool. Soon enough, Julian is by her side, looking feverishly passionate and smelling so darn good, proposing…a business deal? Kinky bastard!
During dinner, Robyn had mentioned wanting to have a child of her own once she is more financially secure, with or without a husband. This apparently inspired DAVEY’S GREAT IDEA and Julian is basically his fairy godmother, helping his dreams come true. David, he explains, is a brilliant scientist working on some cancer research when he accidentally got infected with some radioactive stuff and now he has advanced leukemia with only a few months to live. Davey is also a genius who was once nominated for the Nobel Prize and doesn't want to die without passing on his genetic material, especially since his big bro seems determined to never let sunshine into his life, much less the love of a family. Davey WANTS to have a baby and thinks Robyn would make the best candidate for a mother based on the answers she put forth during her interview at dinner. Yolanda, you were being interviewed to be a breeder and you didn't even know it? Daaaaang, you shoudda let them paid! Julian asks solemnly if she could marry Davey and carry his genius seed. Robyn does not outright laugh in his face.
In fact, Robyn tells him she'll seriously consider it. On one hand, dat ish cray. Like, are you for real, G?! You gonna agree to become the future widow and baby incubator of a dude you just met hours ago? On the other, she could make the last days of a dying man very happy and hooray, get a baby in the process. Julian assures her that she and the baby will never want for anything since the Lassiters are filthy stinking rich and promises that he will always be there for her, like a good big brother should be. Ouch. Robyn decides to do it because it is Julian who asked her and against all reason, she is already halfway in love with him. After all, if Julian were her brother-in-law, he would be a part of her family forever and she could see him all the time. Oooookay, then. He calls her an “Aloha Bride” because if you break down “aloha,” it basically means, “I see you. I give you my love, compassion, and share with you my breath of life.” Which is kind of nice and more profound than “Surf's up, bitches!”
Robyn and Davey marry by a hospital bed and Robyn does a good job of keeping her emotions in check, even as she is screaming inside, “It's you I want to marry, Julian! Oh why can't it be you? I should be getting impregnated by YOUR seed. Oh, Julian, won't you look at me? I don't want to marry your brother. I'm doing this for you. Oh God, love me!!!!” Gurrrrl, it's only been a couple of days. Get your mind right. She gives Julian an extra key to her room and tells him she'll be waiting for Davey with the lights off and could he please tell Davey to keep it that way because she’d really like it to be very dark. So she can hide from her own shame, I guess? Gurrrrl, if you're feeling this torn up about it, don't do it. Run away. Take your ass back to Australia. You don't need this.
Right at the appointed time, the lover lets himself into Robyn’s room and proceeds with Operation: Baby for Davey. Robyn tells herself to keep her eyes shut and just relax and pretend the lover is Julian. She finds herself more than pleasantly surprised when she runs her hands over his body and discovers that daaaaang, for a dude with cancer Davey sure feels strong and buff and warm… warm like life. She could swear it was Julian on top of her, adoringly humping away. She wonders if her mind is playing tricks on her because she's thinking about Julian so hard… the next morning, she's not so sure. The man who came to her room was Davey, right? But her body tells her it was Julian… wasn't it? WASN'T IT? On the third night, she turns on the light and finds out.
Anyway, you know how these things go when they hit the fan. Robyn goes back to Oz and tries to get on with her life, tries her best to forget that she ever met anyone named Lassiter. Only it's going to be a lot harder than she bargained for, especially when Operation: Baby for Davey turns out to be a raging success.
You know, I liked Robyn. Once the lady decides to hold her ground, she ain't yielding an inch. Even at her loneliest, most miserable moments, when just the very thought of Julian is a stab in the heart, she doesn't give in. She doesn't make excuses for herself. Whenever Julian comes over, she's really pretty good at kicking him out. She is resolute against his looks of yearning and words of adoration, even when he tells her that she, Robyn, has changed the way he thinks of women forever because she, UNLIKE HIS EVIL DEAD WIFE, is so giving, so generous, so selfless, so beautiful… oh Robyn, forgive him for initially thinking that all women are gold-digging skanks with no souls. You've changed him for the better, Robyn, you did that! Now please, please, let him get past the threshold. Good on ye, Robyn! Let the bastard suffer.
While I actually enjoyed reading this classic HP and wallowed with glee in the sea of angst, there were a few things that really made me scratch my head in confusion. 1) If Robyn was sexually traumatized as a child, what the heck was it like for her waiting in the dark for Davey, uncertain of what will happen next? That has to be mind-blowing. 2) Why assume that the baby batter has to come directly from the draft? Haven't these people heard of turkey-basting it? All Robyn needs is a little cup of Dave’s fresh stuff and science can take care of the rest. Why complicate it with sex? Isn't Julian the chairman of a multi-billion dollar corporation? Why didn't he think of that shit? 3) Why did I get annoyed instead of emotionally touched and tearful when Julian begs Robyn not to send him away? What is it about this particular groveling that didn't work for me?
Is anyone else bothered that Robyn fell in love with Julian within hours of meeting him even after he told her he hated women? I mean, she was willing to do anything he asked for the very next day. Marry your dying brother and carry his child? Absolutely! Can I fetch you a beer while I'm up? Methinks Robyn was the victim of a self-fulfilling prophecy: when the old lady predicted she will marry Julian, she was crushing on him so hard that she did everything in her power to make it happen. Dat ish cray.
Moral lesson: Don't get infected by radioactive stuff. It won't give you Marvel super powers, just cancer. Also, don't listen to psychic predictions that a weird old woman gives you at the airport . Dumbass tourist.
August 16, 2021
"The Aloha Bride" is the story of Robyn and Julian.
Boy, I was unprepared for the tears.
The story is an emotional tale about death and legacies. The heroine is on her honeymoon alone in Maui, after her fiancé dumps her. She meets the brooding hero and his sickly brother. Soon she gets propositioned in name only to be a bride, and provide for an heir.. The tension in the book builds until the wedding, when things change. There is moonlight seduction, kisses, loss, angst and heartbreak before a HEA.
I did not expect the book to tug at my heartstrings as it did. It was very well written, and I really felt for the characters. Enjoyed it.
Safe
4/5
Boy, I was unprepared for the tears.
The story is an emotional tale about death and legacies. The heroine is on her honeymoon alone in Maui, after her fiancé dumps her. She meets the brooding hero and his sickly brother. Soon she gets propositioned in name only to be a bride, and provide for an heir.. The tension in the book builds until the wedding, when things change. There is moonlight seduction, kisses, loss, angst and heartbreak before a HEA.
I did not expect the book to tug at my heartstrings as it did. It was very well written, and I really felt for the characters. Enjoyed it.
Safe
4/5
February 3, 2022
Wow! I realize there are thousands of harlequins out there, but I have never come across anything like this before. The closest I can come to is Thai Triangle . There was 1 heroine and 2 brothers in that one as well. One brother was dying. The h gave comfort to the dying brother while being in love with the H. Both of these stories were very emotional and made me tear up. The brothers in TT were at odds with each other, but in this story the 1/2 brothers love and respect each other. The H’s dad and stepmother are still happily married. The H loves his dying brother so much he makes a huge sacrifice in the pursuit of his own Happiness. The dying brother wishes he had a child. Someone who could carry on his legacy. The H lost his wife years earlier so his heart is on ice. The H wants to help his brother get his wish, and this is where our h comes into play.
The h is coming off a broken engagement. She is not close to her mother and much older sisters and has always felt like an outlier. She is older, late 20’s, and not a virgin. Her fiancé has been her only lover, and their relationship lacked passion. Her experience with her 2 stepfathers and her sisters own divorces doesn't make marriage seem very exciting. She first meets the H at the airport in Hawaii, where she was supposed to be on her honeymoon. The awareness between them is striking. It is pretty much love at first sight although our main characters are not aware of this quite yet.
I don’t want to give away too much. This story may seem slow moving compared to other HP’s. There is no evil ow to muck up the waters, and the H’s stepmom is the only one who causes a moment of discourse, but without all the facts, I can totally see why the stepmom would have concerns. She ends up being just fine by the end of the story. In fact, ED did a nice job fixing the problems in the h’s family as well. It was a nice change of pace to see that there were going to be solid family connections in the future.
The h and H are tortured for most of the story. Our h does have a spine, and she sets down her own conditions for how things are going to be.
This story is worth sticking with. You may have moments of doubt, and want to abandon ship, but the trip is worth it to see how ED is able to bring it all together in such an emotional way.
Stmargarets gives a quick review without giving much away so if you want a little insight I would check that out. I do not recommend reading spoilers, but when you are done reading you should check out Boogenhagen’s very thorough review.
The h is coming off a broken engagement. She is not close to her mother and much older sisters and has always felt like an outlier. She is older, late 20’s, and not a virgin. Her fiancé has been her only lover, and their relationship lacked passion. Her experience with her 2 stepfathers and her sisters own divorces doesn't make marriage seem very exciting. She first meets the H at the airport in Hawaii, where she was supposed to be on her honeymoon. The awareness between them is striking. It is pretty much love at first sight although our main characters are not aware of this quite yet.
I don’t want to give away too much. This story may seem slow moving compared to other HP’s. There is no evil ow to muck up the waters, and the H’s stepmom is the only one who causes a moment of discourse, but without all the facts, I can totally see why the stepmom would have concerns. She ends up being just fine by the end of the story. In fact, ED did a nice job fixing the problems in the h’s family as well. It was a nice change of pace to see that there were going to be solid family connections in the future.
The h and H are tortured for most of the story. Our h does have a spine, and she sets down her own conditions for how things are going to be.
This story is worth sticking with. You may have moments of doubt, and want to abandon ship, but the trip is worth it to see how ED is able to bring it all together in such an emotional way.
Stmargarets gives a quick review without giving much away so if you want a little insight I would check that out. I do not recommend reading spoilers, but when you are done reading you should check out Boogenhagen’s very thorough review.
March 7, 2022
When you go to a holiday in Maui and end to be a surrogate mother for a dying man. Yes, it sounds creepy, and it is and much more.
The heroine is on holiday after her fiancé jilted her and meets the hero and his younger and very sick brother. After only one dinner together the hero asks her to be a mother of his brother’s child, his last wish before dying.
The heroine who doesn’t want to get married ever but would like a child anyway accepts.
The truth is that she’s besotted with the hero and accepts to please him.
She marries the brother and the same night a man enters her room, her very dark room, and makes wonderful sex with her. She understands that it must be the hero but has still some doubts.
There’s a rep the night after and then the third night she turn on the light when the hero enters but he tells her he’s there to tell her his brother won’t to it anymore since he’s too sick.
The heroine feels betrayed and tells him to go away and never come back.
Of course she’s pregnant but still too hurt that the hero doesn’t want her for himself and is kind only because she’s carrying her brother’s child, so she rejects him every time he goes to see her.
Eventually when she’s having her baby he asks her to marry him because he’s been in love with her all the time.
Ok, I know you know.
That the child is his and not his brother’s.
Because a man with terminal illness and chemo treatment is very likely infertile and wouldn’t be able to have all that sex the heroine had with her mysterious man.
I wonder why she didn’t ask for IUI??? She preferred to have sex with a very sick stranger, this is medieval!
And the reason the hero gave her, that he told his brother the heroine had IUI but he had sex with her instead because his brother was sterile and he didn’t want to disappoint him, this is amoral.
But the book is good, very unusual, very interesting and I read with a sick fascination because I wanted to see where it was leading.
The heroine is on holiday after her fiancé jilted her and meets the hero and his younger and very sick brother. After only one dinner together the hero asks her to be a mother of his brother’s child, his last wish before dying.
The heroine who doesn’t want to get married ever but would like a child anyway accepts.
The truth is that she’s besotted with the hero and accepts to please him.
She marries the brother and the same night a man enters her room, her very dark room, and makes wonderful sex with her. She understands that it must be the hero but has still some doubts.
There’s a rep the night after and then the third night she turn on the light when the hero enters but he tells her he’s there to tell her his brother won’t to it anymore since he’s too sick.
The heroine feels betrayed and tells him to go away and never come back.
Of course she’s pregnant but still too hurt that the hero doesn’t want her for himself and is kind only because she’s carrying her brother’s child, so she rejects him every time he goes to see her.
Eventually when she’s having her baby he asks her to marry him because he’s been in love with her all the time.
Ok, I know you know.
That the child is his and not his brother’s.
Because a man with terminal illness and chemo treatment is very likely infertile and wouldn’t be able to have all that sex the heroine had with her mysterious man.
I wonder why she didn’t ask for IUI??? She preferred to have sex with a very sick stranger, this is medieval!
And the reason the hero gave her, that he told his brother the heroine had IUI but he had sex with her instead because his brother was sterile and he didn’t want to disappoint him, this is amoral.
But the book is good, very unusual, very interesting and I read with a sick fascination because I wanted to see where it was leading.
November 8, 2020
A romance? I'm not too sure. An angsty, sudsy, campy melodrama with all the WTF twists of an episode of Dynasty? You bet!
Robyn Walker travels to Hawaii on a trip that should have been her honeymoon, but her fiance dumped her. No sooner has she arrived, she is saving the life of an old lady (who delivers a daffy psychic prediction), and falling into the orbit of Julian Lassiter. He's Australian like her, and also rich. (Of course). He's a member of the He-Man-Women-Haters club, but Robyn is irresistibly attracted to him. While Julian remains distant, his half-brother David is quite taken with her.
As it turns out, David has a terminal illness brought about by an accident that happened while conducting his research. His dying wish is for an heir to carry on his legacy after he dies. Julian is nothing if not a devoted half-brother and makes the proposition to Robyn that she marry David and carry his child. In return, she will want for nothing. Because Robyn is so in love with Julian, she agrees, as this could be a way to keep him in her life, even if he doesn't love her in return.
Yes, that's right. The hero asks the heroine to conceive his dying half-brother's child! What the heck? And that's not the half of it! After a bit of a stiff, slow start with the requisite Hawaii travelogue, once Robyn agrees to Julian's proposition, the story flies off into a set of scenarios that had me hardly believing what I was reading! I think you'll enjoy the story more the less you know going in, but I do feel compelled to give a warning.
Otherwise, I loved this. Not exactly one to warm the heart - the premise is a bit too gross for that. But I was constantly guffawing at each audacious plot development it threw my way, and eventually I was providing my partner with a running commentary on what was going on, and he was just as enthralled as I was! If you're a fan of crazy soap opera style storylines, don't miss it! If anyone can recommend some similarly bonkers old-school Mills & Boon books, I'm all ears!
Robyn Walker travels to Hawaii on a trip that should have been her honeymoon, but her fiance dumped her. No sooner has she arrived, she is saving the life of an old lady (who delivers a daffy psychic prediction), and falling into the orbit of Julian Lassiter. He's Australian like her, and also rich. (Of course). He's a member of the He-Man-Women-Haters club, but Robyn is irresistibly attracted to him. While Julian remains distant, his half-brother David is quite taken with her.
As it turns out, David has a terminal illness brought about by an accident that happened while conducting his research. His dying wish is for an heir to carry on his legacy after he dies. Julian is nothing if not a devoted half-brother and makes the proposition to Robyn that she marry David and carry his child. In return, she will want for nothing. Because Robyn is so in love with Julian, she agrees, as this could be a way to keep him in her life, even if he doesn't love her in return.
Yes, that's right. The hero asks the heroine to conceive his dying half-brother's child! What the heck? And that's not the half of it! After a bit of a stiff, slow start with the requisite Hawaii travelogue, once Robyn agrees to Julian's proposition, the story flies off into a set of scenarios that had me hardly believing what I was reading! I think you'll enjoy the story more the less you know going in, but I do feel compelled to give a warning.
Otherwise, I loved this. Not exactly one to warm the heart - the premise is a bit too gross for that. But I was constantly guffawing at each audacious plot development it threw my way, and eventually I was providing my partner with a running commentary on what was going on, and he was just as enthralled as I was! If you're a fan of crazy soap opera style storylines, don't miss it! If anyone can recommend some similarly bonkers old-school Mills & Boon books, I'm all ears!
August 23, 2020
While the plot is a little far-fetched and cringe worthy, the story comes together in a beautiful way. The story opens with the heroine (Robyn) arriving in Maui, on what was supposed to be her honeymoon, after being jilted by her finance. Robyn saves an older woman who has psychic abilities and tells her that she will experience great sadness but then happiness once she is married and points out the hero (Julian) standing nearby as the man she will marry. Robyn shares a cab with the Julian to the hotel and runs into his brother as well. From there, her later runs into the brothers again and interesting proposition is made.
Robyn is around 26 and started working at a young age to develop her career. She was left by her finance for another woman. Robyn has issues with her mother and sisters, feeling that as she was much younger, often forgot about and lonely.
Julian is cited to be in his late 30s. He is a widower and has disdain for women. He is cynical but loves his half-brother David very much. Julian runs the company, while David is the science genius. David is 30 and dying from cancer.
All the characters are Australian and return home for the second part of the story.
Two major themes are weaved throughout. First, the theme of the many different meanings of Aloha, which are used in poignant moments between the characters. Second, there is the theme of the complexity and love of family, represented in the hero's sacrifice do to whatever it takes for his beloved brother and by the heroine's lonely childhood and reconciliation with her mother.
Overall, the unique plot and the themes really made this story stick with me. It's one I won't forget, making my list for top favorites Harlequin romances.
Robyn is around 26 and started working at a young age to develop her career. She was left by her finance for another woman. Robyn has issues with her mother and sisters, feeling that as she was much younger, often forgot about and lonely.
Julian is cited to be in his late 30s. He is a widower and has disdain for women. He is cynical but loves his half-brother David very much. Julian runs the company, while David is the science genius. David is 30 and dying from cancer.
All the characters are Australian and return home for the second part of the story.
Two major themes are weaved throughout. First, the theme of the many different meanings of Aloha, which are used in poignant moments between the characters. Second, there is the theme of the complexity and love of family, represented in the hero's sacrifice do to whatever it takes for his beloved brother and by the heroine's lonely childhood and reconciliation with her mother.
Overall, the unique plot and the themes really made this story stick with me. It's one I won't forget, making my list for top favorites Harlequin romances.
February 5, 2014
Slightly dated, though not outdated, neither outrageous or male-chauvinist as some other romances from the 80s can be.
I really liked the fact that the plot kept surprising me - the first, second and third encounters were rather unusual, the proposal she was made at the 4th meeting even more so, with a little unexpected twist, the mystery around the identity of her lover, the way the hero then respected her wish (so not 80s!), etc.
The characters looked rather real and interesting. Some details were a bit brushed off . However this was not too light, nor senseless a read.
I'll definitely read more from this author.
I really liked the fact that the plot kept surprising me - the first, second and third encounters were rather unusual, the proposal she was made at the 4th meeting even more so, with a little unexpected twist, the mystery around the identity of her lover, the way the hero then respected her wish (so not 80s!), etc.
The characters looked rather real and interesting. Some details were a bit brushed off . However this was not too light, nor senseless a read.
I'll definitely read more from this author.
June 24, 2020
Julian's proposition came at the wrong time. Alone on what should have been her honeymoon, Robyn felt the tropical paradise of Maui seemed to mock her. Yet she was determined not to be hurt again, and her reaction to Julian was one of anger. "You came down here thinking you could buy me. And I will not be bought. Not with the great Lassiter name nor your wealth nor power... nor person."
Yet in spite of everything, she found herself wanting to solve Julian Lassiter's problems in a way that was not merely reckless, but positively dangerous!
Yet in spite of everything, she found herself wanting to solve Julian Lassiter's problems in a way that was not merely reckless, but positively dangerous!
August 18, 2017
Well I think I'm done with re-reading books as I mostly end up disappointed.
I read this book as a teenager and it was one of my favorite books and I had such a good memory of it but now I really struggle to finish it and asked myself what was I thinking!
I read it both times in French and the translation felt really heavy and the style outdated and not in a classic book kind of way!
I think I have outgrown the Harlequin style!!
And really it is racy for a teenager 🙄
May 28, 2021
I enjoyed the emotions being portrayed in the book and I think it's a good book however it just didn't just sit well with me.
I don't think she should have married the brother. I think it's common sense to know that 87% of males who have cancer become infertile so David not knowing was a bit...
Anyways, this book was written over twenty years ago and things back them was different.
I also wished that the two main characters would interact more to show how they fell in love. Sex shouldn't have been the center of it. ..
I don't think she should have married the brother. I think it's common sense to know that 87% of males who have cancer become infertile so David not knowing was a bit...
Anyways, this book was written over twenty years ago and things back them was different.
I also wished that the two main characters would interact more to show how they fell in love. Sex shouldn't have been the center of it. ..
This entire review has been hidden because of spoilers.
March 6, 2021
Wow oh wow. What the heck did I just read?! This is a RIDE, an emotional roller coaster. I was deeply uncomfortable and wanted to yell at the heroine at times. How she got involved with those Lassiter brothers was crazy. This is worth a read because it's a one-way train to HP crazytown and I enjoyed it and was bothered in equal measure.
December 25, 2023
Julian is WAY TOO NICE and GIVING
did-not-finish
August 29, 2024This was heading in a way I wasn't liking! Too much Squick if it was going the way I saw it going!!
March 8, 2025
I swiped this book from a library connected to a church. I'd say I was doing them a favor because what was this even doing in a library connected to a church? This was so engaging, though; the drama was insane. How does one even come up with such an outlandish plot?
August 11, 2013
Unbelievable but good timepass :)
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