Well, THAT was disappointing! I’m not surprised this book fell out of my head after the first reading, the story’s not very well told, the characters are flat, and the book ends with a wet plop. Like, there’s something that COULD be good here…but not with this weaksauce execution.
I don’t hate Jiline’s choice to take her friend’s place at the Keep…in fact, it honestly seems weird that she’s as reluctant as she is, given what little she knows of what she’s getting into and the story’s emphasis on her lack of prospects for her future, and really her family’s increasingly difficult situation as a result. If Jiline WANTED to go, if it all looked like a perfect solution to both her and Madelen’s problems, if maybe the prospect’s families received money or support in exchange for their chosen kids, or if the honor of being chosen were more emphasized, that might make the currently slow and emotionally stolid beginning more interesting. ESPECIALLY if the reality of Keep life and its endless labor and training were then a let down for Jiline. Then her experience of being drawn in by pretty lies only to be trapped and used would more directly echo the unicorns’ exploitation.
But as it is, we don’t really experience any emotions with the characters, and their own experiences feel flat as a result. How was Herrick experiencing his panic attacks? What was he going through? Were his emotions roiling and churning within him? Did he feel the cold crush of dread and impending doom? Was it in his body? Did his throat seize up, or his lungs refuse to admit a new breath? Did acid roil in his gut and bile threaten to rise? Because honestly, the detached “he had a panic attack” of the prose doesn’t really sell it. Like, yeah, sometimes you dissociate and give yourself a running play-by-play you aren’t engaged in while having a panic attack…but that’s still NOT what was being conveyed. And I’m always gonna be left cold on a romance like this built entirely on, “IDK, magic or something,” where the characters involved in it barely interact, and what little they do until the last few chapters is super guarded as Jiline’s working to not be found out.
At least the unicorns were as much characters as anyone else. In that they were bland, had no distinct personalities, and blended together. But again, every character was that level of wet tissue paper, so at least it wasn’t a case where it was just the unicorns who were super bland this time.
The ending, again, was a wet fart. The fallout of the unicorns’ escape was barely resolved, and you would be forgiven for thinking that their ploy to get the head mage off their tails was meant to be poorly thought through and inadequate. It feels like another third of the book is missing at this point, but that the author was so bored of her own setting and characters she found the nearest adequate stopping point and called it early. I’m not surprised a lot of the reviews of this book long for a sequel, nothing feels actually resolved, Jiline’s family and Madeline and her family are still in direct line of threat from the mages, the unicorns haven’t demonstrated that they aren’t under threat, and we’ve speed-run Jiline and Herrick’s romance. Plus Eli and the other Keepers are still basically enslaved. There’s pretty much no sign that Jiline and Herrick have any plans but to try and live their own happily ever after…SOMEHOW. Like, Herrick’s gonna train Jiline to be a mage, and that’s good, but they still don’t necessarily have a way to support themselves? Unless they’re just allowed to start a farm in the meadow between the fishing village and the unicorns’ new forest?
I’d have liked to see some revolutionary action. Like, they decide to help protect the unicorns and deconstruct the power of the mage’s guild by spreading the truth that most people have magic, and teaching everyone they can, maybe starting with the little fishing village since it’s nearby, how to access their own magic. I legit don’t know how you weave the unicorns as written into that, maybe have Bai split off from the herd to help teach the humans too, or something.
And maybe, if you REALLY want to go up my particular alley, have Bai’s jealousy over Jiline amount to something by having him have romantic feelings for her too, and then the time he spends with both of them softens him to Herrick, too, and they form a polycule together, preferably with Jiline and Herrick being transformed into unicorns too. Hell, at that rate, cut Herrick and focus the story on Eli, who’s been there for years and built up a relationship with Bai, and HE can Awaken and bust out my unicorn boy and they can all be together. But first let’s give Jiline a personality.