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The Day My Brain Exploded
After a full-throttle brain bleed at the age of twenty-five, Ashok Rajamani, a first-generation Indian American, had to relearn everything: how to eat, how to walk and to speak, even things as basic as his sexual orientation. With humor and insight, he describes the events of that day (his brain exploded just before his brother's wedding!), as well as the long, difficult recovery period. In the process, he introduces readers to his family, his principal support group, as well as a constant source of frustration and amazement. Irreverent, coruscating, angry, at times shocking, but always revelatory, his memoir takes the reader into unfamiliar territory, much like the experience Alice had when she fell down the rabbit hole. That he lived to tell the story is miraculous; that he tells it with such aplomb is simply remarkable.
More than a decade later he has finally reestablished a productive artistic life for himself, still dealing with the effects of his injury;life-long half-blindness and epilepsy; but forging ahead as a survivor dedicated to helping others who have suffered a similar catastrophe.
More than a decade later he has finally reestablished a productive artistic life for himself, still dealing with the effects of his injury;life-long half-blindness and epilepsy; but forging ahead as a survivor dedicated to helping others who have suffered a similar catastrophe.
256 pages, Paperback
First published January 22, 2013
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Displaying 1 - 30 of 70 reviews
March 9, 2017
I loved it. As a fellow Arteriovenous Malformation and Neurosurgery survivor.
Many people here are complaining that it "jumped around" too much- that there was "poor development", "no plot", "there should have been more continuity".... etc.
Maybe... Just maybe... That's how our minds work now...!
His way of writing, his whimsical and "fluid" expression, speaks to me greatly because that is how my mind works now- fragmented, hopping from idea to idea, thought to thought... Sometimes jumping, sometimes making a great leap... Only to forget moments later what I was talking about, or what great point I was about to make.
Perhaps it's a book you cannot appreciate fully unless you have experienced it. But I think I would have enjoyed it almost as much even if I didn't almost tear up at certain parts because I could identify so much with what he was going through.
Sometimes, what you need to do is joke about it, and make light of the situation.
He may have gone a bit too far at times, but honestly, there's no better way to cope than laughing and smiling, and moving on with life. In the end, you are the only one to choose whether to exist or live. And he chose to live. And I did too.
Many people here are complaining that it "jumped around" too much- that there was "poor development", "no plot", "there should have been more continuity".... etc.
Maybe... Just maybe... That's how our minds work now...!
His way of writing, his whimsical and "fluid" expression, speaks to me greatly because that is how my mind works now- fragmented, hopping from idea to idea, thought to thought... Sometimes jumping, sometimes making a great leap... Only to forget moments later what I was talking about, or what great point I was about to make.
Perhaps it's a book you cannot appreciate fully unless you have experienced it. But I think I would have enjoyed it almost as much even if I didn't almost tear up at certain parts because I could identify so much with what he was going through.
Sometimes, what you need to do is joke about it, and make light of the situation.
He may have gone a bit too far at times, but honestly, there's no better way to cope than laughing and smiling, and moving on with life. In the end, you are the only one to choose whether to exist or live. And he chose to live. And I did too.
November 5, 2015
The Day My Brain Exploded by Ashok Rajamani.
Pass up on this one. Don’t even bother. A 1 out of 10. Non-fiction. Ashok had an aneurysm burst in his head, followed by complications. He needs years of therapy and help. His brain needs to form new neurological paths for him to learn to walk, and function. Although it is written as if he remembers all the recovery day by day, it is fictionalized somewhat as he personally couldn’t have remembered all the details. But the dorkiest part is his being sure we know this aneurysm burst happened as he was masturbating. After partial recovery he comes back to this act again as he reassures himself that all his parts are still working. It seems to be included as shock value. The story jumps around from childhood incidents, to hospital treatment, to his life years later when he seeks more help. But none of these themes are fully developed. As soon as one part starts going, he switches to another. Poor character development. Family relationships poorly formed, hit and miss. Mostly missed. Forget it. Spend your time reading something else. For more: http://queenbeewritings.blogspot.com/
Pass up on this one. Don’t even bother. A 1 out of 10. Non-fiction. Ashok had an aneurysm burst in his head, followed by complications. He needs years of therapy and help. His brain needs to form new neurological paths for him to learn to walk, and function. Although it is written as if he remembers all the recovery day by day, it is fictionalized somewhat as he personally couldn’t have remembered all the details. But the dorkiest part is his being sure we know this aneurysm burst happened as he was masturbating. After partial recovery he comes back to this act again as he reassures himself that all his parts are still working. It seems to be included as shock value. The story jumps around from childhood incidents, to hospital treatment, to his life years later when he seeks more help. But none of these themes are fully developed. As soon as one part starts going, he switches to another. Poor character development. Family relationships poorly formed, hit and miss. Mostly missed. Forget it. Spend your time reading something else. For more: http://queenbeewritings.blogspot.com/
March 7, 2013
It did give me some insight and some greater understanding of the struggles he encountered and others in his situation encounter. However, the author focused so much on his race and the racism he encountered here, that it almost overshadowed his struggles. At times, it even seemed to be a stretch. For example, he quit a job due to "racism," justifying his hasty decision to taking a stand. However, the real issue that bothered him - people saying he was on drugs - very likely stemmed from his alcohol problem as opposed to the color of his skin. I understand it is tough being a minority in small town America, but I wasn't under the impression this was to be the subject when I started the book.
June 28, 2013
I wanted to like this book. It offers a potentially perfect mix of medical information, personal insight, reflection, and humor, but it was often crude, and I didn't particularly like Rajamani by the end. I appreciate the author's honesty, and his attempt to pin down the hallucinatory aspects of recovering from a brain bleed, but I wanted greater connection with both he and his family. I suspect that the organization of the book reflects the way that Rajamani's brain works now - at least that was the impression I had - and on that level it's successful. But in other ways it doesn't allow the reader to attach to any particular storyline, and certain chapters are terribly short and unanchored (such as the important chapter about Rajamani's spiritual beliefs). A fair-enough read.
June 6, 2017
This book is worth a skim if you or somebody you know suffered from an AVM bleed, but otherwise, there are better books about the brain out there. It's interesting to hear about Ashok's experiences and recovery, but overall, the narrative is disjointed and there's not a lot of continuity between sections. It reads more like a diary than anything else. I'd hoped for more information about his recovery and who he became after the stroke ("Ashok 2.0"), but more time was spent on anecdotes from his past or the telling of specific events that weren't necessarily relevant to the story.
December 13, 2012
A compelling story about a young man of 25 having and recovering from traumatic brain injury due to a brain hemorrhage. Familes and those have suffered TBI would find this story of value.
April 15, 2021
Double thumbs down. The only reason I finished this is because it was a quick read and I had no other books with me in the moment. 1 ⭐️ because it was mildly better than aimlessly scrolling on social media...
November 23, 2013
I'm not sure exactly what I expected from this book, but I didn't like it as much as I'd thought I would.
It's written by a man who had an aneurysm (actually something more rare than that, I've forgotten the name... oh, AVM I think). His story of the experience and life after it.
His survival alone, and his remarkable recovery afterwards are pretty amazing. And I appreciate that his goal is to give people with brain damage hope -- he's pretty functional, though he's blind in one eye and suffers from epilepsy.
The narrative, however, seemed shallow to me. And I became biased by some of his revelations about his personality. Sadly, I kept thinking that I probably would have disliked the guy if I'd met him. He's not callous or cruel or anything. In fact, he's boisterously ALIVE. But somehow it really turned me off.
I think I was hoping for something that delved into the medical side a bit more, or had a little more.. insight, I suppose. Still, it is interesting to hear about his perspective, though Ashok does not leave terribly much to be imagined; he's often quite crude.
Though I didn't enjoy it as much as I thought I would, I certainly commend him for the accomplishment of writing the book.
It's written by a man who had an aneurysm (actually something more rare than that, I've forgotten the name... oh, AVM I think). His story of the experience and life after it.
His survival alone, and his remarkable recovery afterwards are pretty amazing. And I appreciate that his goal is to give people with brain damage hope -- he's pretty functional, though he's blind in one eye and suffers from epilepsy.
The narrative, however, seemed shallow to me. And I became biased by some of his revelations about his personality. Sadly, I kept thinking that I probably would have disliked the guy if I'd met him. He's not callous or cruel or anything. In fact, he's boisterously ALIVE. But somehow it really turned me off.
I think I was hoping for something that delved into the medical side a bit more, or had a little more.. insight, I suppose. Still, it is interesting to hear about his perspective, though Ashok does not leave terribly much to be imagined; he's often quite crude.
Though I didn't enjoy it as much as I thought I would, I certainly commend him for the accomplishment of writing the book.
March 9, 2017
More than one person told me not to read this book.
I'm glad I didn't listen to them. It's been a while since I last read a book that can make laugh, cry, or both at the same time.
Rajamani told the story of his aneurysm and the journey he took to heal and accept what happened to him with such frankness that it might be misconstrued as arrogance by some. He didn't sugarcoat how he felt about it, he didn't try to make him as though he has journeyed the path of enlightenment by the experience, and he didn't try to turn it into a sob story.
The "jumping storyline" laced into his story apparently caused annoyance to many, but for me, it adds to the flavor of the story and it helps to keep the mood going because it wasn't chronological so I found myself looking forward to other different parts of the story that Rajamani introduced throughout the book.
It is perhaps not for the "traditional and conservative" readers, but I find Rajamani's tale refereshing, blunt, and whether he intended it or not, I, as a reader, did find enlightenment when I reached the last page.
I'm glad I didn't listen to them. It's been a while since I last read a book that can make laugh, cry, or both at the same time.
Rajamani told the story of his aneurysm and the journey he took to heal and accept what happened to him with such frankness that it might be misconstrued as arrogance by some. He didn't sugarcoat how he felt about it, he didn't try to make him as though he has journeyed the path of enlightenment by the experience, and he didn't try to turn it into a sob story.
The "jumping storyline" laced into his story apparently caused annoyance to many, but for me, it adds to the flavor of the story and it helps to keep the mood going because it wasn't chronological so I found myself looking forward to other different parts of the story that Rajamani introduced throughout the book.
It is perhaps not for the "traditional and conservative" readers, but I find Rajamani's tale refereshing, blunt, and whether he intended it or not, I, as a reader, did find enlightenment when I reached the last page.
December 29, 2012
Ashok Rajamani: The Day My Brain Exploded, Algonquin Books, ISBN 978-1-56512-997-9
Ashok Rajamani was in his mid 20s when he had an aneurysm. He said his brain exploded. It was, as expected, a scary and crazy time for him as he has had to deal with a number of problems - mental, physical, emotional and spiritual.
He had to relearn everything about himself, skills, talents, speech and the world around him.
He survived and in this tale, he details what happened, what has happened and gives an insider's look on brain trauma and surviving brain trauma.
Rajamani takes you through your own gamut of emotions as you share his story of the event and the therapy and recovery which is continual. You cry. You laugh. You feel pity, sympathy and empathy.
What a diary to be able to read!
Four Stars
Ashok Rajamani was in his mid 20s when he had an aneurysm. He said his brain exploded. It was, as expected, a scary and crazy time for him as he has had to deal with a number of problems - mental, physical, emotional and spiritual.
He had to relearn everything about himself, skills, talents, speech and the world around him.
He survived and in this tale, he details what happened, what has happened and gives an insider's look on brain trauma and surviving brain trauma.
Rajamani takes you through your own gamut of emotions as you share his story of the event and the therapy and recovery which is continual. You cry. You laugh. You feel pity, sympathy and empathy.
What a diary to be able to read!
Four Stars
February 19, 2013
When Ashok Rajamani suffers a brain bleed in his mid twenties that leaves him battling memory loss, vision problems, epilepsy and a host of other problems. This memoir covers Rajamani's life from the moments leading up to his brain bleed through his current condition. The memoir goes from Rajamani's childhood in rural Illinois, to his teen years, and his first employment experiences in his early 20s. I would have liked the book more if it had focused on the actual healing process and the daily struggles to fight through the problems caused from the brain bleed. I felt as though the traumatic brain inujury, while a significant part of the book, was at times sacrificed to tell stories from childhood and an adulthood spinning out of control until the brain event happened.
June 19, 2013
A 25-year-old suffering an aneurysm is a tragedy. That 25-year-old sharing his story with us through writing is enlightening. I'm always amazed by people who are so open, who can share the most horrific things that happen to them. The book reads like a diary, alternating between the intense medical emergency and before and after shots of Rajamani's life. I could feel his overwhelming energy emanating from his writing. I know that the world can seem overly full of distracting stimuli to a person with a brain injury, and that's exactly what it felt like to read his story. I especially appreciate that he's objective about his family members, and that he recognizes his burgeoning self-awareness throughout his recovery.
September 22, 2019
“The Day My Brain Exploded” was a compelling, emotional novel about a life changing experience. A one in a million event life ending/new life beginning moment in the life of one young man. Ashok Rajamani, thanks to an AVM buried inside his head, experiences death and rebirth – and here he shared those experiences with the reader.
One the day of his brother’s wedding, he has an aneurysm, and his life changes forever.
“I had lost track of time while my entire world lay in my skull. The NCCU staff would continuously ask what day and hour it was. Sometimes I knew, sometimes I didn’t. It was often impossible to figure it out. Even surrounded by people, mine was a world of maddening solitude and darkness.”
He also describes, as best he can, the experiences of his family. As I have spent a lot of time in the hospital, first as a patient and then as a mother caring for her child, this particularly resonated with me.
“…the healing hands of a mother is the only way to bring a child back to life, and that this moment shall pass and that my child will be okay. Healing words and two mothers in pain sharing a moment. For just that moment there was a calm, as loneliness and solitude go hand in hand in the waiting rooms of all hospitals.”
And after months of being strapped into a hospital bed, when he finally takes his first journey back into the outside world, “I felt air – genuine, outside air – flowing into my body. I felt the clouds and blue sky hug me. I saw the sun and felt its heat. I had just been released from the black sphere within my head into the world, a world of brightness, a world of freedom, and a world of light. The sun symbolized everything that was active and breathing. And I was finally aglow with it. I had truly re-entered the land of the living.”
Some parts of this story would have been nearly unbelievable, had Rajamani not laid the details out so clearly. This memoir, woven into the experiences of his past and his hopes for the future is one that impacts the reader in a way that will linger.
One the day of his brother’s wedding, he has an aneurysm, and his life changes forever.
“I had lost track of time while my entire world lay in my skull. The NCCU staff would continuously ask what day and hour it was. Sometimes I knew, sometimes I didn’t. It was often impossible to figure it out. Even surrounded by people, mine was a world of maddening solitude and darkness.”
He also describes, as best he can, the experiences of his family. As I have spent a lot of time in the hospital, first as a patient and then as a mother caring for her child, this particularly resonated with me.
“…the healing hands of a mother is the only way to bring a child back to life, and that this moment shall pass and that my child will be okay. Healing words and two mothers in pain sharing a moment. For just that moment there was a calm, as loneliness and solitude go hand in hand in the waiting rooms of all hospitals.”
And after months of being strapped into a hospital bed, when he finally takes his first journey back into the outside world, “I felt air – genuine, outside air – flowing into my body. I felt the clouds and blue sky hug me. I saw the sun and felt its heat. I had just been released from the black sphere within my head into the world, a world of brightness, a world of freedom, and a world of light. The sun symbolized everything that was active and breathing. And I was finally aglow with it. I had truly re-entered the land of the living.”
Some parts of this story would have been nearly unbelievable, had Rajamani not laid the details out so clearly. This memoir, woven into the experiences of his past and his hopes for the future is one that impacts the reader in a way that will linger.
December 16, 2018
I thoroughly enjoyed reading this book. I felt it was humorous, engaging and well written. Ashok Rajamani's memoir provides a glimpse into many world's; the life of a young, Indian American, excelling in college, thriving in his early career in public relations while heavily drinking his way into alcoholism, his experiences in a post 911 world while surviving a severe brain hemmorage and his struggles in becoming a new man. This will be one that I think of when asked which books I would recommend.
August 20, 2017
"Read" as audiobook narrated by the author, which I think enhanced the text. I found it to be an enlightening read about overcoming challenges and excepting oneself both before and after a traumatic event. Unexpected obstacles for Rajamani, such as familial relationships, racism, addiction, etc. make the book relatable and worthwhile for anyone.
December 19, 2021
Ashok tells the fascinating tale of how his brain popped and how he recovered. Although the humor is often forced, he has a self-deprecating sense of humor that I can appreciate. I can't even imagine what Ashok went through over the months and years afterward. He tells his story with honesty and without varnish.
January 9, 2018
This is a very funny and raw account of a very terrible and distressing congenital brain injury. Rajamani sprinkles in stories of his childhood in suburban Illinois to add levity and background to his narrative. His language is vivid and may not be for your granny.
February 8, 2020
Inspirational bio about a young desi boys life after a life altering day resulting in traumatic brain injury. As a RN it was a very insightful read and I didn’t want to put it down. In awe of Ashok for sharing his inspiring story! Hope he’s doing better.
February 18, 2020
Really interesting to read the 1st hand experience. Some things were fascinating and left me in awe. I appreciated the honesty of it all. It was written in an interesting back and forth timeline that was weird at times and could've been written a bit better, but overall I enjoyed it.
July 14, 2020
A reminder that we aren't meant to stay the same, but to grow and learn from our challenges. "Yes, my life has been restored, but what I am experiencing is not simply the refurbishing of my old existence. This is, in actuality, a brand new life...."
August 9, 2022
I enjoyed reading this book. It gave a insight of his life before during and after instead of just the incident. I would definitely read it again. Some of the hallucinations were wild but I appreciated the honesty. The book was an easy read that kept me interested.
March 16, 2017
funny insightful read
March 21, 2018
The writing style was not structured very well, it felt more conversational which is not to my liking.
August 13, 2018
Interesting to hear different things that occurred to Ashok from his brain trauma, especially the sight issue.
August 27, 2019
I am stubborn and I can't even finish this
August 29, 2019
Unbelievable recovery! Speaks to grit.
June 18, 2022
Loved this book. I appreciate how honest Ashok is and I found it very funny and personable. Would recommend!
January 19, 2018
Definitely a great read, sometimes hard to follow but a great read regarding the amazing capabilities of the human brain.
August 5, 2020
I read this book for a college project. This book has a lot going on and it gives you a lot of information about the author's condition, thus bringing awareness to a condition that's not normally talked about or visible in people's physiques. I'll say that. But the book doesn't do a good job in connecting the stories. They are not very cohesive, and tend to jump around a lot. It can be a little confusing. Some parts of the book, in my opinion, are also kind of unnecessary and don't add a lot to the whole storyline. I get that this book is broken up by timeline, but some parts of the book are redundant and they leave you feeling a bit scattered, trying to pick up the pieces and then trying to connect them with each other. Yes, this book is inspiring, but it doesn't really have that 'wow' factor in my opinion. I can nitpick and try to list all the things I don't like from this book all day, but I'll sum it up in eight words: the book is boring and kind of confusing.
Informative, but boring. Eventful, but confusing. Unapologetic, but boring.
Informative, but boring. Eventful, but confusing. Unapologetic, but boring.
September 3, 2016
Ashok Rajamani always felt like an outsider. He was one of the few minority-race kids in his rural Illinois town growing up. He is bisexual. And after his brain injury and the surgeries and treatment that followed, he is now part of a small percentage of the population who has survived, but continues to live with the effects of, his brain damage. Ashok takes the right attitude with all that he's been through. He takes it to heart when people tell him that he's a survivor, he's tough, he's been through a lot just to be where he is today. This memoir is a great little read. Rajamani is very funny at times in his narrative (though some of his jokes fall flat). At the time that he wrote this, he knew he was fortunate, that the effects of his brain damage are not easily noticed by other people, though he forms close bonds with other people who have had similar experiences, even if they haven't recovered quite so quickly. I'm not someone who's suffered brain damage, and I don't work with such individuals, but I could still appreciate the message of this book.
This entire review has been hidden because of spoilers.
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