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Mollare non è una cosa da deboli. Perché lasciare un lavoro o una persona può cambiare la tua vita
La rinuncia, nella nostra società, è diventata sinonimo di sconfitta, fallimento, è «l'ultimo nascondiglio del perdente». Solo recentemente la pandemia ci ha aiutato ad aprire gli occhi su ciò che non andava nelle nostre relazioni non sane, lavori poco gratificanti, superiori dittatoriali ed egoriferiti. Eppure la rinuncia rimane un' «non esistono rinunciatari seriali su LinkedIn».
Ma quand'è che le cose hanno preso questa piega? Quand'è che la resilienza è diventata la qualità che tutti dovremmo augurarci di possedere?
Julia Keller, già vincitrice del Premio Pulitzer per il miglior articolo giornalistico, ci aggiorna sulle ultime scoperte della scienza riguardo alla capacità degli esseri umani di cambiare abitudini e comportamenti, aiutandoci a comprendere quando e dove ha cominciato ad affermarsi l'idea della perseveranza a tutti i costi. E lo fa raccontando le scelte di chi è riuscito per davvero a lasciare un lavoro o una relazione «le loro storie» , scrive, «possono aiutarci a respingere il pensiero unico che domina questo campo (e i consigli perentori di troppi libri di auto-aiuto), secondo cui la perseveranza è una strategia vincente e infallibile» , un valore che negli anni è stato «coltivato ad arte, e ci viene venduto come un qualsiasi bene di consumo».
Il mondo, però, la realtà in cui siamo tutti quotidianamente immersi, sembra suggerirci qualcosa di diverso, che «il segreto di una vita felice e produttiva non è nelle qualità che normalmente ci vengono inculcate - caparbietà e risolutezza - ma nella flessibilità, nella leggerezza che deriva dalla capacità di abbandonare i pesi inutili, nel preambolo di un coraggioso salto nel futuro, nella disponibilità ad accogliere le novità a braccia aperte. Nel sapere quando è ora di dire basta».
Ma quand'è che le cose hanno preso questa piega? Quand'è che la resilienza è diventata la qualità che tutti dovremmo augurarci di possedere?
Julia Keller, già vincitrice del Premio Pulitzer per il miglior articolo giornalistico, ci aggiorna sulle ultime scoperte della scienza riguardo alla capacità degli esseri umani di cambiare abitudini e comportamenti, aiutandoci a comprendere quando e dove ha cominciato ad affermarsi l'idea della perseveranza a tutti i costi. E lo fa raccontando le scelte di chi è riuscito per davvero a lasciare un lavoro o una relazione «le loro storie» , scrive, «possono aiutarci a respingere il pensiero unico che domina questo campo (e i consigli perentori di troppi libri di auto-aiuto), secondo cui la perseveranza è una strategia vincente e infallibile» , un valore che negli anni è stato «coltivato ad arte, e ci viene venduto come un qualsiasi bene di consumo».
Il mondo, però, la realtà in cui siamo tutti quotidianamente immersi, sembra suggerirci qualcosa di diverso, che «il segreto di una vita felice e produttiva non è nelle qualità che normalmente ci vengono inculcate - caparbietà e risolutezza - ma nella flessibilità, nella leggerezza che deriva dalla capacità di abbandonare i pesi inutili, nel preambolo di un coraggioso salto nel futuro, nella disponibilità ad accogliere le novità a braccia aperte. Nel sapere quando è ora di dire basta».
238 pages, Kindle Edition
First published January 1, 2023
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Displaying 1 - 30 of 60 reviews
May 16, 2023
I was so excited about this book because of the hype leading up to it, as well as my personal interest in the transformative power of quitting. Though Keller is a smart and approachable writer, there was quite a gap between what I was expecting and what was delivered. It is ironic that I did not quit the book when I realized this gap (so, lesson learned about the pervasive hold perseverance has on me, at least when it comes to books!). I was expecting deep dives into research from psychology, sociology, neuroscience, and philosophy animated by narrative case studies. The book is indeed filled with stories of quitting drawn from many interviews and correspondences, but the deeper explanations and implications of the stories, when put into relation to research is usually very surface level (an exception is an early chapter on the neuroscience of quitting, though even here this doesn't delve into the realm of what you would call science writing). The subtitle of the book is, "The myth of perseverance--and how the new science of giving up can set you free." There's a good analysis of the ideology of perseverance and the rhetoric of sticking with things, particularly around the history and persistence of self-help books and industries. It was probably inevitable that "Quitting: A Life Strategy" would end up feeling like a self-help book that denies it's a self-help book.
With all of this said, if you are looking for positive inspiration about risking leaps into the unknown by quitting jobs or relationships, this book delivers in spades.
With all of this said, if you are looking for positive inspiration about risking leaps into the unknown by quitting jobs or relationships, this book delivers in spades.
April 19, 2023
There is an irony to this book. It's not technically a self-help book, but it inevitably comes across as inspirational: if you quit, you too can be successful! Like Edison!
To be fair, it does a thorough job of going over the situations in which people find themselves stuck, paralysed by indecision, torn between continuing on the path they've been on, which is making them miserable, and giving up so they can start over. While there is an obvious push towards quitting, hence the title, the nuance of why and when you should quit over persevering is explored. Sometimes things are hard, but doing them will be good for you. When they're not, when you're staying for somebody else's sake, or from fear of change and financial instability, that's when quitting may be the right answer. Did I learn anything new from this book? Not really. It was an entertaining read, full of anecdotes, and I enjoyed it. I would recommend it to people who feel shame around the concept of quitting. I was already on board.
To be fair, it does a thorough job of going over the situations in which people find themselves stuck, paralysed by indecision, torn between continuing on the path they've been on, which is making them miserable, and giving up so they can start over. While there is an obvious push towards quitting, hence the title, the nuance of why and when you should quit over persevering is explored. Sometimes things are hard, but doing them will be good for you. When they're not, when you're staying for somebody else's sake, or from fear of change and financial instability, that's when quitting may be the right answer. Did I learn anything new from this book? Not really. It was an entertaining read, full of anecdotes, and I enjoyed it. I would recommend it to people who feel shame around the concept of quitting. I was already on board.
July 31, 2023
The title lured me in; I love a good bit of critique of self-help culture. But while there were some fun anecdotes in this book, the argument was woefully underbaked. Most basically, 'quitting' itself was so under-defined that the argument stretched beyond all recognition. Charles Darwin's final completion of *On the Origin of Species*, twenty years after he'd started working on it, was offered up as an example of quitting (as opposed to really efficacious perseverance; deciding to finish something after perfectionist procrastination). I rolled my eyes at that one. I think the author's core insight--that we overvalue persistence and grit to the point where we can end up in living a sunk-cost fallacy in our jobs, education, marriages, homes--is absolutely correct. But the attempt here to explain *why* that is, and to give insight that would help people navigate these moments, is significantly lacking. The "new science" of quitting is the usual quicky neuroscience in one chapter (which follows two chapters of equally surface history of grit, but the history doesn't get a subtitle!). You get the picture; the book is surface throughout, and it feels like the chapters could have been put in almost any order and the book would have had the same logical coherence. The only real complication to the "yea, quitting is great!" cheering section comes in the last 20 pages, where a few of her interviewees cite their regrets about past quitting and discuss how they use those regrets to be analytic and probing with children/clients who are struggling with decisions about quitting.
June 20, 2023
This self denying self help book has some valid points, but should be a self help article; 209 pages?? I’m sure many will quit well before the ending. Good job. You’ve learned the lesson.
This entire review has been hidden because of spoilers.
May 1, 2023
When I saw this title from GCP, I knew I had to read it! I love a good non-fiction book - if you haven't tried them I highly recommend it as a great "palate-cleanser" and a reset, especially after a heavy read or during a book hangover.
"Quitting" gives the word, and the action, a make-over by demonstrating to the reader that dogged perseverance is sometimes harmful and non-productive, while quitting just might be the healthier alternative. Dr. Julia Keller explains the history of how refusing to quit became the ultimate compliment and quitting became shameful. "My father used to say, 'You've got to have stick-to-itiveness.'" This line got me in the feels because it is, verbatim, what my own father has always said, and still says.
She lays out a compelling case for changing our attitude toward quitting, and helps the reader to understand that it is not solely a dramatic, burn-it-all-down approach. Although this is how society conventionally thinks of quitting, it can be a more thoughtful, gradual approach, or even a partial one, a "pivot" to something similar but different. Interspersed through the chapters are numerous anecdotes of people quitting activities or life choices that simply don't provide the rewards expected. Once we can view perseverance without the "veneer of virtue", we are better able to let go and change course without the voice of judgement inside our heads.
Of course, Dr. Keller does not argue that quitting is a universally sound approach, acknowledging that perseverance is the quality that has allowed so many achievements to come into existence. What she does argue, mostly successfully, is that never, ever giving up is not about virtue, and quitting is not about the lack of it. She points out that there is a time and place for both, and that quitting should be viewed neutrally, as a valid alternative when something simply is not serving us. As she notes in the introduction, "it's a gesture of generosity toward yourself and your future".
This is a relatively quick read and an enjoyable one. The only recommendation for improvement I could make is that perhaps the inclusion of a little empirical research might give the book and the argument more heft. Thanks to GCP Balance for the copy!
"Quitting" gives the word, and the action, a make-over by demonstrating to the reader that dogged perseverance is sometimes harmful and non-productive, while quitting just might be the healthier alternative. Dr. Julia Keller explains the history of how refusing to quit became the ultimate compliment and quitting became shameful. "My father used to say, 'You've got to have stick-to-itiveness.'" This line got me in the feels because it is, verbatim, what my own father has always said, and still says.
She lays out a compelling case for changing our attitude toward quitting, and helps the reader to understand that it is not solely a dramatic, burn-it-all-down approach. Although this is how society conventionally thinks of quitting, it can be a more thoughtful, gradual approach, or even a partial one, a "pivot" to something similar but different. Interspersed through the chapters are numerous anecdotes of people quitting activities or life choices that simply don't provide the rewards expected. Once we can view perseverance without the "veneer of virtue", we are better able to let go and change course without the voice of judgement inside our heads.
Of course, Dr. Keller does not argue that quitting is a universally sound approach, acknowledging that perseverance is the quality that has allowed so many achievements to come into existence. What she does argue, mostly successfully, is that never, ever giving up is not about virtue, and quitting is not about the lack of it. She points out that there is a time and place for both, and that quitting should be viewed neutrally, as a valid alternative when something simply is not serving us. As she notes in the introduction, "it's a gesture of generosity toward yourself and your future".
This is a relatively quick read and an enjoyable one. The only recommendation for improvement I could make is that perhaps the inclusion of a little empirical research might give the book and the argument more heft. Thanks to GCP Balance for the copy!
July 12, 2024
Being okay with letting go and quitting things that don’t serve you anymore — jobs, relationships, lifestyle, etc.
This book was so intelligently written. I loved the science backing and all of the anecdotal stories to support her reasoning.
This book made me feel more comfortable with letting go… and more importantly never judging anyone else for letting go.
This book was so intelligently written. I loved the science backing and all of the anecdotal stories to support her reasoning.
This book made me feel more comfortable with letting go… and more importantly never judging anyone else for letting go.
June 19, 2023
From chapter 8: "'When people hear the word 'quit,' they think, 'They're going to quit and lie in bed all day.' That's why the word 'pivot' is good. 'Pivot' is quit and then start something new. Pivoting is not only quitting, but also starting."
-quote from John A. List
Should be titled Pivot: A life Strategy. The book is based on an interesting and (possibly) subversive concept. But a lot of the examples in the book aren't examples of quitting at all. The point isn't to give up. The point is to pivot, or to recognize when you're starting to struggle and quickly change course to pursue better opportunities.
Some parts of the book are useful - for example, emphasizing that quitting something is not a moral failing. But some of the examples are not about quitting at all. In one chapter she talks about how great it was that even though Tiger Woods was in an intense car accident and sustained several severe injuries, he "quasi-quit" by signing up for another golf tournament and happily achieving 47th place. I don't know about you, but personally I see continuing as, well, not quitting. Same for the story about the woman who wanted to quit her PhD program and then quit... by not quitting and obtaining her PhD. In what world does graduating count as quitting? Several examples make no logical sense, and some of the chapters should have been culled.
The book also raises the questions, WHEN should one quit? What are things to consider before quitting? Should you quit quickly or gradually? The author never addresses anything like that, and ultimately the reader is told that quitting is really great and you should definitely do it, but sometimes you'll regret it and sometimes you should quit quitting. Ultimately this book doesn't contain any truly wise or helpful advice. Maybe I should have quit reading when I made that realization halfway through the book, but meh, it was an easy and entertaining reads so I stuck with it.
If you need motivation to quit a bad job, and you want to feel reassured that everything will be fine once you're on the other side, this is the book for you. If you don't fall into that category, here's the summary - whenever you start doing something, it's ethically acceptable to stop doing it. Sometimes you'll regret your decision and sometimes you won't.
-quote from John A. List
Should be titled Pivot: A life Strategy. The book is based on an interesting and (possibly) subversive concept. But a lot of the examples in the book aren't examples of quitting at all. The point isn't to give up. The point is to pivot, or to recognize when you're starting to struggle and quickly change course to pursue better opportunities.
Some parts of the book are useful - for example, emphasizing that quitting something is not a moral failing. But some of the examples are not about quitting at all. In one chapter she talks about how great it was that even though Tiger Woods was in an intense car accident and sustained several severe injuries, he "quasi-quit" by signing up for another golf tournament and happily achieving 47th place. I don't know about you, but personally I see continuing as, well, not quitting. Same for the story about the woman who wanted to quit her PhD program and then quit... by not quitting and obtaining her PhD. In what world does graduating count as quitting? Several examples make no logical sense, and some of the chapters should have been culled.
The book also raises the questions, WHEN should one quit? What are things to consider before quitting? Should you quit quickly or gradually? The author never addresses anything like that, and ultimately the reader is told that quitting is really great and you should definitely do it, but sometimes you'll regret it and sometimes you should quit quitting. Ultimately this book doesn't contain any truly wise or helpful advice. Maybe I should have quit reading when I made that realization halfway through the book, but meh, it was an easy and entertaining reads so I stuck with it.
If you need motivation to quit a bad job, and you want to feel reassured that everything will be fine once you're on the other side, this is the book for you. If you don't fall into that category, here's the summary - whenever you start doing something, it's ethically acceptable to stop doing it. Sometimes you'll regret your decision and sometimes you won't.
October 13, 2023
I saw this on the shelf at the library and since I'm getting laid off (forced quitting?), I thought it was an appropriate time to read it. Quite enjoyable - Keller condensed a lot of sources into an easy-to-read narrative that makes you consider how you've viewed quitting and how society has impacted that over time. I picked up a couple of the articles she mentioned immediately to cruise through and I know some of the books she mentions will make it to my TBR list. Highly recommend.
One, sort of off-putting, note: Chapter 10 deals, in part, with Rachel Hollis's crash and burn after she was caught talking about her housekeeper. The point being, she was insensitive and it damaged her persona as an everyday woman. However, in the same chapter, Keller comments about Nixon, "The subtext of the message from this future president of the US could have come just as readily from a minimum-wage worker posting a kiss-off video on TikTok..." While Keller isn't building her persona or fanbase as an "everyday woman," you'd think she'd be slightly more sensitive to classism after having just pointed it out in someone else.
One, sort of off-putting, note: Chapter 10 deals, in part, with Rachel Hollis's crash and burn after she was caught talking about her housekeeper. The point being, she was insensitive and it damaged her persona as an everyday woman. However, in the same chapter, Keller comments about Nixon, "The subtext of the message from this future president of the US could have come just as readily from a minimum-wage worker posting a kiss-off video on TikTok..." While Keller isn't building her persona or fanbase as an "everyday woman," you'd think she'd be slightly more sensitive to classism after having just pointed it out in someone else.
August 5, 2023
Most nonfiction consists of:
Make a point in the intro/chapter 1
Spend the next 15 chapters breaking the point into small chunks with lots of anecdotes/examples.
This was no different. It should have been an article and a short one at that.
Make a point in the intro/chapter 1
Spend the next 15 chapters breaking the point into small chunks with lots of anecdotes/examples.
This was no different. It should have been an article and a short one at that.
December 22, 2023
Interesting book regarding quitting and views on it. I liked that finally a book did not tell people to "persevere and it will all work out" because yeah sometimes it really is ok (and maybe even better) to quit. Overall it was not perfect and at times it looked at things in way too a simple manner (not everything is so easily solvable), but still provides interesting point of view and solutions.
June 26, 2023
There are a lot of moments in this book that resonate with me, as I've wanted to quit everything in my life at least once, it seems 😆 But I am generally loathe to quit, as I always wonder, quit to what (the most resonant line in the book!)? I do wish our culture put less stock into grit and more into productive learning from failure, though.
August 31, 2023
This is definitely one of my new favorite books, but I must admit that I’m extremely biased. My bias comes from absolutely loving when someone writes about quitting, and the only other author I know who has done this is Annie Duke. So, when I saw this new book from Julia Keller, I bought it immediately even though I hadn’t known of her previously.
I’ve been clean and sober for 11 years now, so I know how to quit, but I also have an insane work ethic and don’t give up easily. But, there’s a balance to be had. I love these books because everything we hear, read, and learn is about perseverance and grit. It took me far too long to realize that there are massive opportunity costs when you don’t give up on something that’s clearly not going well. That time could have been much better spent somewhere else.
I wasn’t sure if this book would be any good, but it was phenomenal. One concern I had was that this book would be too similar to Duke’s, but it’s much different. Keller does an amazing job covering a ton of research on quitting that I hadn’t heard about before while also blending interviews with others as well as her own experience. The book discusses how we’re taught to never give up, and why quitting is often a great strategy. I really liked toward the end when Keller writes about how humans are pretty much the only species that doesn’t quit when we should and most species have survived purely because they know when to quit.
I could talk about this book all day, but I’ll stop there. This book is a must-read, and I really hope more people start learning about the value of quitting.
I’ve been clean and sober for 11 years now, so I know how to quit, but I also have an insane work ethic and don’t give up easily. But, there’s a balance to be had. I love these books because everything we hear, read, and learn is about perseverance and grit. It took me far too long to realize that there are massive opportunity costs when you don’t give up on something that’s clearly not going well. That time could have been much better spent somewhere else.
I wasn’t sure if this book would be any good, but it was phenomenal. One concern I had was that this book would be too similar to Duke’s, but it’s much different. Keller does an amazing job covering a ton of research on quitting that I hadn’t heard about before while also blending interviews with others as well as her own experience. The book discusses how we’re taught to never give up, and why quitting is often a great strategy. I really liked toward the end when Keller writes about how humans are pretty much the only species that doesn’t quit when we should and most species have survived purely because they know when to quit.
I could talk about this book all day, but I’ll stop there. This book is a must-read, and I really hope more people start learning about the value of quitting.
May 10, 2023
A light-ish read that looks on the surface like a self-help book. But rather than claiming to give you some new ideas on how to improve yourself, this book explains that perseverance is overrated.
In nature, animals routinely quit behaviors that aren’t helping them to survive. And they probably don’t ruminate on it afterwards and feel the shame of being a “quitter”. So why do humans do this? To answer this, the book explains how it came to be that humans, at least in western cultures, glorify not quitting.
I appreciated hearing a hard truth that the author repeats throughout: things just happen in life. Some are good, some are bad. Some are in my control, and some aren’t. A lot of things are random. The myth of perseverance (and the popularity of self-help books) is intimately tied to the fact that people want to believe that our own success is within our control, and people want to find ways to explain successes so we can achieve it for ourselves. Very commonly, perseverance is used to explain successful people and lay the blame for people that are labeled as failures. We ignore the big and scary role that randomness has on the course of our lives.
I am personally guilty of persevering at something for so long that it becomes (in hindsight) illogical and stupid. Over many years, I had absorbed so deeply the messages that success will come in the end as long as I never give up. Going forward, I’m going to try to reframe quitting something that isn’t helping as simply ‘choosing something new.’
In nature, animals routinely quit behaviors that aren’t helping them to survive. And they probably don’t ruminate on it afterwards and feel the shame of being a “quitter”. So why do humans do this? To answer this, the book explains how it came to be that humans, at least in western cultures, glorify not quitting.
I appreciated hearing a hard truth that the author repeats throughout: things just happen in life. Some are good, some are bad. Some are in my control, and some aren’t. A lot of things are random. The myth of perseverance (and the popularity of self-help books) is intimately tied to the fact that people want to believe that our own success is within our control, and people want to find ways to explain successes so we can achieve it for ourselves. Very commonly, perseverance is used to explain successful people and lay the blame for people that are labeled as failures. We ignore the big and scary role that randomness has on the course of our lives.
I am personally guilty of persevering at something for so long that it becomes (in hindsight) illogical and stupid. Over many years, I had absorbed so deeply the messages that success will come in the end as long as I never give up. Going forward, I’m going to try to reframe quitting something that isn’t helping as simply ‘choosing something new.’
February 23, 2024
Deliciously, wonderfully, terribly bad. This is supposed to be a book about quitting, but it’s really about how our fear of quitting is responsible for social media issues and wealth inequality. Yeah, it didn’t make sense to me either.
What is this book? What is it for? Why does it exist? It’s as if no one in the production process thought to ask.
I understand that sometimes people get into bad situations and may need to leave them. But I can’t imagine that anyone would look at modern American society and think that our root problem is that we have too much commitment.
What is this book? What is it for? Why does it exist? It’s as if no one in the production process thought to ask.
I understand that sometimes people get into bad situations and may need to leave them. But I can’t imagine that anyone would look at modern American society and think that our root problem is that we have too much commitment.
Read
July 24, 2023Why did the author use Edward VIII, who abdicated the throne to marry Wallis Simpson, as a good example of public quitting (172)? The author admires his speech for his eloquence, but he and his future wife were Nazi sympathizers. Given their backgrounds and who they are, they shouldn't be used as an example of good. And where was everyone else? Why didn't any of the editors/fact checkers question this part of the book? Unfortunately, this was the record scratch that soured me on this book.
November 25, 2023
I very rarely give a book a one star review. But I had high expectations for this book, and it just fell flat. In fact, it was almost a DNF, but get this… I didn’t wanna quit!😂 (and yes, I get the irony of that).
I am currently in a season of transition and quitting, and so when I saw this book the library, I thought it was a sign. It started off strong in the first chapter, but then did not meet the expectations set up from a scientific perspective. It was superficial and highly anecdotal. I love a good story to support a point, but there doesn’t seem to be much science and tangible tools or meat to really walk away with.
I was also surprised by the “agenda-ness” that was woven throughout the text. If I am reading a book that is supposed to be self-help-ish, I think containing the political opinions is key. It was a big turn off, and degraded the credibility of the content. (Plus— I’m just personally weary from hearing of the state of the world from the past 3 years, and wasn’t looking for more commentary on that whatsoever).
And finally… I’m not sure, but I think she used an identical anecdote from the book “Grit.” She pushed back on Duckworth’s book quite a lot at the beginning, then the use of the story about the Wyoming gal who quit her govt job to sell pottery that was featured in Grit made me raise an eyebrow. It was like one last jab but missed its mark. Because Duckworth didn’t write about no holds barred never quit grit attitude— a good majority of her book shared the same sentiment of pivoting, changing, (quitting) based on intentional choice, season, life circumstances, etc. However, Duckworth did her homework and really delivered on content compared to the rather superficial approach with this book.
PS: Bit ranty— sorry about that. Just disappointed in this book overall.
I am currently in a season of transition and quitting, and so when I saw this book the library, I thought it was a sign. It started off strong in the first chapter, but then did not meet the expectations set up from a scientific perspective. It was superficial and highly anecdotal. I love a good story to support a point, but there doesn’t seem to be much science and tangible tools or meat to really walk away with.
I was also surprised by the “agenda-ness” that was woven throughout the text. If I am reading a book that is supposed to be self-help-ish, I think containing the political opinions is key. It was a big turn off, and degraded the credibility of the content. (Plus— I’m just personally weary from hearing of the state of the world from the past 3 years, and wasn’t looking for more commentary on that whatsoever).
And finally… I’m not sure, but I think she used an identical anecdote from the book “Grit.” She pushed back on Duckworth’s book quite a lot at the beginning, then the use of the story about the Wyoming gal who quit her govt job to sell pottery that was featured in Grit made me raise an eyebrow. It was like one last jab but missed its mark. Because Duckworth didn’t write about no holds barred never quit grit attitude— a good majority of her book shared the same sentiment of pivoting, changing, (quitting) based on intentional choice, season, life circumstances, etc. However, Duckworth did her homework and really delivered on content compared to the rather superficial approach with this book.
PS: Bit ranty— sorry about that. Just disappointed in this book overall.
December 16, 2024
Disappointingly thin on the "strategy," the "how," and the "new science" areas of its topic.
Keller engages well with the problem of misplaced perseverence and touches (very briefly) on some interesting points around situations where adapting isn't possible and you have to quit before you can figure out a direction. But mostly this was just a long slog through increasingly similar anecdotes from older upper-middle-class Americans (and a few big-name historical ones) about how well "pivoting-to" worked for them personally.
This book would have benefited greatly from more time on the science and strategy; specifically, more instructive tools and more attention to perspectives from varying cultural and economic backgrounds. It could also have engaged in more honest and constructive ways with the reality of the sometimes insurmountable risks and costs that keep people trapped, and the incentives for staying stuck (american capitalism feasts on a steady diet of miserable people staying put, and incentivises that situation to a greater degree now than it did the '70s and '80s).
The quality of the writing often wasn't great. Keller struggles with tone and placement of quotes; the piles of citations might be fine if they carried more weight, but I found myself tripping over the constant references for fairly self-evident concepts. What this lacks in punch it tries to make up for in bubbly adjectives and a glut of M-dashed asides, which doesn't help. I was here for the "strategy" part, not for Chicken Soup for the Person Quitting in 1993.
Ultimately this amounts to a few useful scientific tidbits and an encouraging voice for those who need one in order to feel more comfortable with entertaining the idea of some sort of healthy exodus. But if you're picking up this book, you are probably already on board.
Keller engages well with the problem of misplaced perseverence and touches (very briefly) on some interesting points around situations where adapting isn't possible and you have to quit before you can figure out a direction. But mostly this was just a long slog through increasingly similar anecdotes from older upper-middle-class Americans (and a few big-name historical ones) about how well "pivoting-to" worked for them personally.
This book would have benefited greatly from more time on the science and strategy; specifically, more instructive tools and more attention to perspectives from varying cultural and economic backgrounds. It could also have engaged in more honest and constructive ways with the reality of the sometimes insurmountable risks and costs that keep people trapped, and the incentives for staying stuck (american capitalism feasts on a steady diet of miserable people staying put, and incentivises that situation to a greater degree now than it did the '70s and '80s).
The quality of the writing often wasn't great. Keller struggles with tone and placement of quotes; the piles of citations might be fine if they carried more weight, but I found myself tripping over the constant references for fairly self-evident concepts. What this lacks in punch it tries to make up for in bubbly adjectives and a glut of M-dashed asides, which doesn't help. I was here for the "strategy" part, not for Chicken Soup for the Person Quitting in 1993.
Ultimately this amounts to a few useful scientific tidbits and an encouraging voice for those who need one in order to feel more comfortable with entertaining the idea of some sort of healthy exodus. But if you're picking up this book, you are probably already on board.
May 18, 2025
a wholehearted YES to the premise: that the Gospel of Grit and Perseverance can guilt folks into staying with something longer than is healthy/effective/wise, and that if we can break from that ideology to embrace quitting (or “pivoting”) as a shame-free tool, we’ll be happier/healthier/more effective.
but the delivery of the premise - woof; it’s incredibly superficial. the promised “science” is only hinted at. the vast bulk of the book is anecdotes mashed with excerpted takes from other self-help authors - with further nested “white flag” anecdotes and chapter-ending “permission slips” that dispense wisdom a la fortune cookie.
the prose is almost entirely popular nonfiction-style hooks, endlessly spun into myriad anecdotes but rarely tied together to clearly support a component of the argument. if you love paragraphs that start with teasers like the following, you’re likely to enjoy this book more than me:
“how is simone biles like a honeybee? that’s not a riddle.”
“tiger woods is a quitter. now, before you golf fans take a whack at me with a nine iron, let me explain…”
“they quit on page 59. i don’t know who they are or where they live or what they do for a living. i don’t know the color of their hair or what kind of car they drive. but i know this: i know precisely where their hope died—because that’s where the underlining stops.”
“sharon harvey won’t take the credit. a bold and fearless act of quitting permanently changed her life for the better — not to mention the lives of hundreds of homeless dogs and stray cats — but she’s convinced that it wasn’t really her doing at all.”
“christine broquet never saw it coming. …”
“there was a time, joe rodriguez recalls, when the future was the last thing in the world he wanted to think about.”
sigh.
but the delivery of the premise - woof; it’s incredibly superficial. the promised “science” is only hinted at. the vast bulk of the book is anecdotes mashed with excerpted takes from other self-help authors - with further nested “white flag” anecdotes and chapter-ending “permission slips” that dispense wisdom a la fortune cookie.
the prose is almost entirely popular nonfiction-style hooks, endlessly spun into myriad anecdotes but rarely tied together to clearly support a component of the argument. if you love paragraphs that start with teasers like the following, you’re likely to enjoy this book more than me:
“how is simone biles like a honeybee? that’s not a riddle.”
“tiger woods is a quitter. now, before you golf fans take a whack at me with a nine iron, let me explain…”
“they quit on page 59. i don’t know who they are or where they live or what they do for a living. i don’t know the color of their hair or what kind of car they drive. but i know this: i know precisely where their hope died—because that’s where the underlining stops.”
“sharon harvey won’t take the credit. a bold and fearless act of quitting permanently changed her life for the better — not to mention the lives of hundreds of homeless dogs and stray cats — but she’s convinced that it wasn’t really her doing at all.”
“christine broquet never saw it coming. …”
“there was a time, joe rodriguez recalls, when the future was the last thing in the world he wanted to think about.”
sigh.
June 29, 2023
Julia Keller tackles a very important issue that a lot of us assume is a weakness-- that is, the issue of quitting. Since we are very young many of us are taught to persevere and never give up, whether its academics, athletics, relationships, or jobs. However, Keller argues that in many instances, the best thing for us to do is quit. Of course, when we do quit, we often worry what others will think, if we're messing up our lives by quitting, and the fear of the unknown.
I like to read a lot of non-fiction, especially about topics that are relevant to me. For so long I prayed for a business teaching position and finally got it. But I promptly quit it by submitting my letter of resignation this past school and will not be returning to teach. I wrestled with whether or not I should quit, but ultimately it was the best decision for me and my family. Of course, I will lose working alongside some great co-workers/community (which the author touches upon) and I don't like to think myself as a quitter per say. But this decision was best and though some doubts still linger about the finality of it, I am glad to go in another direction.
All in all, this book is a fascinating read that really gets you to think about quitting in a new light. There are things and people we should probably quit to enhance our lives, but because its so ingrained in us to stick with things, this is hardly easy for many people. I recommend reading this book and having an open mind while doing so. 4 out of 5 stars.
I like to read a lot of non-fiction, especially about topics that are relevant to me. For so long I prayed for a business teaching position and finally got it. But I promptly quit it by submitting my letter of resignation this past school and will not be returning to teach. I wrestled with whether or not I should quit, but ultimately it was the best decision for me and my family. Of course, I will lose working alongside some great co-workers/community (which the author touches upon) and I don't like to think myself as a quitter per say. But this decision was best and though some doubts still linger about the finality of it, I am glad to go in another direction.
All in all, this book is a fascinating read that really gets you to think about quitting in a new light. There are things and people we should probably quit to enhance our lives, but because its so ingrained in us to stick with things, this is hardly easy for many people. I recommend reading this book and having an open mind while doing so. 4 out of 5 stars.
November 6, 2023
As a self-help guide, Quitting: A Life Strategy stacks up well against most books in the genre. Author Julia Keller generates testimonials from dozens of people who found that quitting -- jobs, relationships, university degree programs or bigger things -- is misunderstood. The value is perseverance is overrated, she finds, and people who quit suffer the opprobrium of being seen as weak, slackers and pathetic. Fear about quitting can be overwhelming.
Keller argues that the opposite of quitting is true. She generates testimonials and presents research to show that quitting is often a great strategy. Indeed, quitting can be seen as an important tool in pursuit of something important. Quitting is strategic for a career, happiness and relationships. And it's a well-known experience even if the topic makes people uncomfortable. Keller notes that during her research she did not meet one person who did not have a quitting story.
Moreover, Keller is even-handed in her treatment of the topic. She highlights the "quasi-quit", a strategy of changing one's job or other situation a significant way without actually quitting it. And she presents those who argue that quitting the wrong way can cause unintended harm.
To her credit, Keller makes fun of self-help books. Keller scouts garage sales and flea markets, finding that the No. 1 book for sale in such venues is in the self-help category. At one such sale, she finds Rick Warren's Christian-themed The Purpose Driven Life heavily highlighted and annotated by a previous owner. However, the enthusiasm had stopped at page 59 where the markings ceased, and the rest of that copy was blank. The fervor had suddenly vanished.
The biggest weakness of Quitting is the excessive number of testimonials. The topic sentences at the start of paragraphs almost started to become repetitive. Nevertheless, this is a worthy read and might propel readers to quit something soon in search of brighter futures.
Keller argues that the opposite of quitting is true. She generates testimonials and presents research to show that quitting is often a great strategy. Indeed, quitting can be seen as an important tool in pursuit of something important. Quitting is strategic for a career, happiness and relationships. And it's a well-known experience even if the topic makes people uncomfortable. Keller notes that during her research she did not meet one person who did not have a quitting story.
Moreover, Keller is even-handed in her treatment of the topic. She highlights the "quasi-quit", a strategy of changing one's job or other situation a significant way without actually quitting it. And she presents those who argue that quitting the wrong way can cause unintended harm.
To her credit, Keller makes fun of self-help books. Keller scouts garage sales and flea markets, finding that the No. 1 book for sale in such venues is in the self-help category. At one such sale, she finds Rick Warren's Christian-themed The Purpose Driven Life heavily highlighted and annotated by a previous owner. However, the enthusiasm had stopped at page 59 where the markings ceased, and the rest of that copy was blank. The fervor had suddenly vanished.
The biggest weakness of Quitting is the excessive number of testimonials. The topic sentences at the start of paragraphs almost started to become repetitive. Nevertheless, this is a worthy read and might propel readers to quit something soon in search of brighter futures.
April 18, 2023
In "A Life Strategy," Pulitzer prize-winning journalist Julia Keller argues that quitting can be a powerful way to take control of your life. She explores the neuroscience and cultural messages that make us reluctant to quit, and dismantles the myth of perseverance by showing that grit isn't always great and sticking it out doesn't always pay off. Instead, quitting can be an unexpected act of self-love and an opportunity to live a meaningful and satisfying life on our own terms. Through her research and interviews with people who have made profound changes in their own lives, Keller provides guidance on navigating the relationship between quitting and our public lives, managing quitter's guilt, and more. Overall, "A Life Strategy" is an inspiring and thought-provoking exploration of how quitting can be a key to success.
This book offers a refreshing perspective on quitting and how it can be an act of self-love and an opportunity for growth. Keller combines scientific research, pop culture commentary, and personal stories to make a compelling case for the power of quitting. Her writing is engaging and inspiring, and her guidance on how to navigate quitting in different areas of life is practical and helpful. I highly recommend this book to anyone who is considering quitting a job, a relationship, or any other aspect of their life.
This book offers a refreshing perspective on quitting and how it can be an act of self-love and an opportunity for growth. Keller combines scientific research, pop culture commentary, and personal stories to make a compelling case for the power of quitting. Her writing is engaging and inspiring, and her guidance on how to navigate quitting in different areas of life is practical and helpful. I highly recommend this book to anyone who is considering quitting a job, a relationship, or any other aspect of their life.
February 23, 2023
"Quitting: A Life Strategy" is a fascinating and thought-provoking book that challenges the conventional wisdom of perseverance and resilience. The authors argue that giving up can sometimes be the best decision, and that quitting can be a powerful life strategy that leads to growth, happiness, and success. They present compelling scientific evidence and real-life examples to support their claims, demonstrating that quitting can be an act of courage and self-care, rather than a sign of weakness or failure. The book is well-written and engaging, with a clear and concise style that makes complex ideas easy to understand. It also includes practical advice and exercises that readers can use to apply the principles of quitting to their own lives. Overall, "Quitting: A Life Strategy" is an excellent book that challenges readers to rethink their beliefs about perseverance and to embrace the power of quitting. It is a must-read for anyone who wants to achieve their goals and live a fulfilling life.
May 1, 2023
Julia Keller pens a favorite mystery series of mine set in West Virginia where she herself is from. She spent a lot of her adult life in Chicago (Pulitzer Prize!). Both of these locations feature in this nonfiction writing on the subject of quitting.
My favorite take-away is the word "recalibrating." This is not about what you may be escaping from, but rather what you are heading toward. Not everything requires a drastic move; just recalibrate (adjust and correct the settings in one's life). That seems doable.
Much of this lightly disparages self-help advice (a huge industry), quotes people with overly long titles (John Doe, Tech Dir at XYZ Univ, etc) [requirement perhaps, but tedious to read], and does not exactly offer anything that is life changing. That said, though it does offer a big nudge to think about what we can do with this one life we have.
Another value is its challenge to the American culture and how we evolved into 60-hr weeks, and other challenges to our sanity.
My favorite take-away is the word "recalibrating." This is not about what you may be escaping from, but rather what you are heading toward. Not everything requires a drastic move; just recalibrate (adjust and correct the settings in one's life). That seems doable.
Much of this lightly disparages self-help advice (a huge industry), quotes people with overly long titles (John Doe, Tech Dir at XYZ Univ, etc) [requirement perhaps, but tedious to read], and does not exactly offer anything that is life changing. That said, though it does offer a big nudge to think about what we can do with this one life we have.
Another value is its challenge to the American culture and how we evolved into 60-hr weeks, and other challenges to our sanity.
Read
February 22, 2023Huge thanks to the publisher for a print ARC.
I’m not going to star this book since this is an early review, and I don’t want my rating to weigh too heavily.
I thought this was a friendly and helpful little book. It wasn’t a deep dive, but it went a lot further than those quippy forced positivity books. As with many self-helpy books, your mileage may vary, but this was worth my time. The weakest part was the chapter about social media and rage quitting, which I’m still a little puzzled about, but the permission slips (summaries of applicable takeaways) and white flag moments (personal moments of quitting something) were useful. With this topic, I’m always looking for acknowledgement of the privilege behind “just quitting,” and the author does address that, but more importantly, this book is about seeing quitting as a rational option in our arsenal of options instead of a moral failure. I’m also going to start trying to remember “quit to what” when I’m hoping for a quick fix.
I’m not going to star this book since this is an early review, and I don’t want my rating to weigh too heavily.
I thought this was a friendly and helpful little book. It wasn’t a deep dive, but it went a lot further than those quippy forced positivity books. As with many self-helpy books, your mileage may vary, but this was worth my time. The weakest part was the chapter about social media and rage quitting, which I’m still a little puzzled about, but the permission slips (summaries of applicable takeaways) and white flag moments (personal moments of quitting something) were useful. With this topic, I’m always looking for acknowledgement of the privilege behind “just quitting,” and the author does address that, but more importantly, this book is about seeing quitting as a rational option in our arsenal of options instead of a moral failure. I’m also going to start trying to remember “quit to what” when I’m hoping for a quick fix.
April 27, 2023
I won this book in a Goodreads giveaway. Overall, I appreciate how the author challenges the negative perceptions associated with quitting something in life and encourages the reader to view this as a change of direction, or opportunity for something new. The examples used throughout the book are relatable and she offers evidence-based research to support the message. I did find that much of the information became redundant at a certain point.
My favorite part of the book was the last chapter (afterword) in which the author takes the time to emphasize forgiveness of self and others for our inherent weaknesses and failures to improve areas of our life we are unsatisfied with. She acknowledges that even as we are inspired to quit unhealthy things or brave new directions, we are not always successful in reality and this should not define a person or a life. I feel that this message is needed just as much as the main focus of the book.
My favorite part of the book was the last chapter (afterword) in which the author takes the time to emphasize forgiveness of self and others for our inherent weaknesses and failures to improve areas of our life we are unsatisfied with. She acknowledges that even as we are inspired to quit unhealthy things or brave new directions, we are not always successful in reality and this should not define a person or a life. I feel that this message is needed just as much as the main focus of the book.
June 19, 2023
3.5
Fast and easy read that despite its brevity got repetitive. The afterword revealed another personal motivation for having written the book...
Here are my takeaways and continued reading list:
82 …didn’t choose fate… but ..chose how he would respond to it: with courage and grace.
83 I Closed My Eyes by Michele Weldon
85 Amy Dickinson Strangers Tend to Tell Me Things
Let go of other people’s expectations and to do as your own heart and moral compass tell you to do.
136 You must quit to give yourself another chance at winning. List in The Voltage Effect
192 George A. Bonanno The End of Trauma: How the New Science of Resilience is Changing How we Think About PTSD
193 Ask yourself four questions: What is happening? What do I need to do? What am I able to do? And once I start doing it, is it effective?
Fast and easy read that despite its brevity got repetitive. The afterword revealed another personal motivation for having written the book...
Here are my takeaways and continued reading list:
82 …didn’t choose fate… but ..chose how he would respond to it: with courage and grace.
83 I Closed My Eyes by Michele Weldon
85 Amy Dickinson Strangers Tend to Tell Me Things
Let go of other people’s expectations and to do as your own heart and moral compass tell you to do.
136 You must quit to give yourself another chance at winning. List in The Voltage Effect
192 George A. Bonanno The End of Trauma: How the New Science of Resilience is Changing How we Think About PTSD
193 Ask yourself four questions: What is happening? What do I need to do? What am I able to do? And once I start doing it, is it effective?
July 14, 2023
Julia Keller has been a journalist and author of mystery/suspense titles. (I adore the rather gritty West Virginia set series). She has also earned a PhD. Now in this title, Keller is inviting readers to rethink their reactions to the word that is the title for this book. Is it always wrong to quit? Why were so many of us raised to believe this? Why do we think that quitting is a moral failing? (of course I don’t include harmful behaviors in this assessment). Are there times when quitting is the bravest or most right decision? Explore…
Spend time with Ms. Keller. Hear what she has to say on the subject both on a scientific and anecdotal basis, and then think about this for yourself. It will be worth your time.
Many thanks to NetGalley and Grand Central Publishing for this title. All opinions are my own.
Spend time with Ms. Keller. Hear what she has to say on the subject both on a scientific and anecdotal basis, and then think about this for yourself. It will be worth your time.
Many thanks to NetGalley and Grand Central Publishing for this title. All opinions are my own.
March 18, 2023
I would like to thank the publisher for providing me with an ARC.
This book hopes to reframe quitting away from being a moral failure. Sometimes quitting is what needs to be done. I haven't seen many books that have been trying to push back on the idea of working hard will always get good results. Working hard and having a lot of perseverance is not inherently bad, but it can have negative impacts especially if that is tied to how you view yourself. This book is filled with examples to help show that quitting is not always bad. There will be many that find this book to be helpful or as an interesting examination.
This book hopes to reframe quitting away from being a moral failure. Sometimes quitting is what needs to be done. I haven't seen many books that have been trying to push back on the idea of working hard will always get good results. Working hard and having a lot of perseverance is not inherently bad, but it can have negative impacts especially if that is tied to how you view yourself. This book is filled with examples to help show that quitting is not always bad. There will be many that find this book to be helpful or as an interesting examination.
July 21, 2023
I talk a lot about rest, but it’s difficult to rest when we have so much going on! That’s why I enjoyed this book, because it said what needed to be said: in order to live the life we’d like to lead, we have to quit some things.
I really appreciated the author’s discussion around quitting and its moral implications—perseverance is such a valued trait in our society, and we’re not trained to cut our losses and move on, even when we need to. Overall, this book gave me a lot to think about and gave me the confidence to quit something immediately. I call that a great return on investment! Thanks to @gcpbalance for this copy.
I really appreciated the author’s discussion around quitting and its moral implications—perseverance is such a valued trait in our society, and we’re not trained to cut our losses and move on, even when we need to. Overall, this book gave me a lot to think about and gave me the confidence to quit something immediately. I call that a great return on investment! Thanks to @gcpbalance for this copy.
January 20, 2024
Why is it that we have come to have such a powerful aversion to the concept of quitting? Why are we filled with so much shame about quitting even when moving on to something else is the right thing to do? Does the ideal of perseverance preserve the status quo? In this book, Keller discusses how we have come to have the attitude we do towards quitting and works to reshape how we think about quitting. What a philosophically fascinating topic!
The “science,” which is discussed in the first couple chapters, conflates quitting with other phenomena that are not relevant to the point of the book, in my opinion, but the message throughout the rest of the book is great!
The “science,” which is discussed in the first couple chapters, conflates quitting with other phenomena that are not relevant to the point of the book, in my opinion, but the message throughout the rest of the book is great!
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