What do you think?
Rate this book
Pursuing Peace: A Christian Guide to Handling Our Conflicts
A Guide to Resolving Relational Conflict You have conflict in your life―we all do. You encounter it in your home, your workplace, your school, or even your church. All around us tensions exist and disputes persist. Offered here is a step-by-step process for pursuing peace in ALL your relationships and a tool you can use to help others. This guide is: Packed with wisdom and practical techniques, this manageable book on reconciliation will send you on your way to pursuing peace while helping others to do the same.
208 pages, Paperback
First published July 10, 2012
102 people are currently reading
492 people want to read
About the author
Robert D. Jones
13 books11 followersThere is more than one author with this name
Robert D. Jones (DMin, Westminster Theological Seminary) serves as a biblical counseling professor at Southeastern Baptist Theological Seminary. He is a certified biblical counselor, a Christian conciliator, an adjunct instructor, and a church reconciliation trainer with Peacemaker Ministries. Jones is the author of Uprooting Anger and has written numerous ministry booklets and articles.
Robert D. Jones (DMin, Westminster Theological Seminary) serves as a biblical counseling professor at Southeastern Baptist Theological Seminary. He is a certified biblical counselor, a Christian conciliator, an adjunct instructor, and a church reconciliation trainer with Peacemaker Ministries. Jones is the author of Uprooting Anger and has written numerous ministry booklets and articles.
Ratings & Reviews
Friends & Following
Create a free account to discover what your friends think of this book!
Community Reviews
Displaying 1 - 30 of 66 reviews
August 21, 2021
Just excellent! One of the best and most practical books I have read on peace and resolving conflict!
5/5 🌟
5/5 🌟
January 1, 2021
Pushed through to finish this so I could leave this garbage in the garbage year of 2020. The last chapter was halfway decent, but the book borderline excuses abuse, victim blames, and has a very unnatural rhythm that leads readers to think there is a 3-5 step Jesus-approved process to approach conflict, hurt, and forgiveness. Life just doesn't work like that and the evangelical push to make it so is SUPER harmful.
September 14, 2023
This one hurt in good and hard ways. As someone who has an unreconciled relationship with my brother who continues to walk in unrepentance, I found clarity but also felt convicted and challenged to make sure myself and my family are approaching the situation in a biblical pursuing peace kind of mindset.
April 17, 2019
A lot of practical and biblical advice on peace-making, dealing with conflict, and the heart issues that cause division.
October 4, 2019
Super practical and clear. I think a lot of counseling books include too many stories. While Dr. Jones do include stories, he doesn't include too many to lose his main points.
February 14, 2025
Really helpful. This book combines some of the most helpful information I’ve read in other sources. Good to have it in one place. Some overlap with “Forgive” by Tim Keller, “The Peacemaker” by Ken Sande, and “Bitter Truth” by Linda Graf. Also some new info I haven’t read elsewhere, and hearing from another voice/perspective is always helpful to solidify truths.
November 8, 2022
practical & equipping! thx Dr Jones <3
October 5, 2022
Great read! Just a lot of listing for me so had to slow it down some.
June 24, 2019
This is generally a decent book to read on the matter of pursuing peace, proving to be somewhat helpful.
Two thoughts: I found it to be a bit programmatic and artificially structured: “seven ways to do x”, “3 ways to do y”, and “five ways to pursue z”. I would find it difficult to ensure I followed each step directly and sequentially given that life is much more complex and disorderly than this book assumes. Second, I felt like the chapters drifted a bit from the main concern which ought to have been handling conflict. The chapters were solid, but they didn't tie in with the overarching purpose as well as they could have.
Two thoughts: I found it to be a bit programmatic and artificially structured: “seven ways to do x”, “3 ways to do y”, and “five ways to pursue z”. I would find it difficult to ensure I followed each step directly and sequentially given that life is much more complex and disorderly than this book assumes. Second, I felt like the chapters drifted a bit from the main concern which ought to have been handling conflict. The chapters were solid, but they didn't tie in with the overarching purpose as well as they could have.
April 3, 2024
Great resource dealing with forgiveness, peace, reconciliation, for further intimacy with God. In forgiving he lays out two models, one essentially before God and in preparation for before them; and 2 before them. Essentially we are all called to the first, yet the second is much more complicated.
Some quotes:
“In each text, God calls us to overlook or minimize someone's offense. Overlooking, of course, does not mean denial. To overlook means recognizing that a sin has been committed but choosing to forgive that sin attitudinally and to absorb the consequence. To deny means refusing to even evaluate the other person's words or actions. When i overlook your sin, however, I conclude that you have sinned, but I determine to treat you graciously anyway.
“The past is in the past; we can move forward now. In fact, if I ever bring them up to you, that will be my sin, and I will seek to repent of it and ask your forgiveness." As 1 Corinthians 13:5 says,"[Love] keeps no record of wrongs? It doesn't keep score. This does not mean that there cannot be mutually beneficial dialogue about the sins if the repentant offender is willing, it merely means the forgiving person will not initiate that without permission.”
“Lastly, the promise to forgive means not demanding that the other person change. This might be the most difficult aspect of forgiving someone. While it is reasonable to expect that the person's sincere confession will produce life change, we have no such guarantee, and we must not condition our forgiveness on such a guarantee. I cannot fully know the sincerity of his repentance or the precise level of his commitment; I can only trust God and take the person at his word. Yet even here God is our model. His forgiveness of us does not depend on an assurance that we will never repeat our sins.”
“The most important relationship for the psalmist is his intimate connection with the Lord. His highest good is not relational reconciliation with a spouse or friend but being near to his all-sufficient God.”
Some quotes:
“In each text, God calls us to overlook or minimize someone's offense. Overlooking, of course, does not mean denial. To overlook means recognizing that a sin has been committed but choosing to forgive that sin attitudinally and to absorb the consequence. To deny means refusing to even evaluate the other person's words or actions. When i overlook your sin, however, I conclude that you have sinned, but I determine to treat you graciously anyway.
“The past is in the past; we can move forward now. In fact, if I ever bring them up to you, that will be my sin, and I will seek to repent of it and ask your forgiveness." As 1 Corinthians 13:5 says,"[Love] keeps no record of wrongs? It doesn't keep score. This does not mean that there cannot be mutually beneficial dialogue about the sins if the repentant offender is willing, it merely means the forgiving person will not initiate that without permission.”
“Lastly, the promise to forgive means not demanding that the other person change. This might be the most difficult aspect of forgiving someone. While it is reasonable to expect that the person's sincere confession will produce life change, we have no such guarantee, and we must not condition our forgiveness on such a guarantee. I cannot fully know the sincerity of his repentance or the precise level of his commitment; I can only trust God and take the person at his word. Yet even here God is our model. His forgiveness of us does not depend on an assurance that we will never repeat our sins.”
“The most important relationship for the psalmist is his intimate connection with the Lord. His highest good is not relational reconciliation with a spouse or friend but being near to his all-sufficient God.”
August 5, 2018
Excellent manual on handling conflict, including chapters on idols of the heart, forgiveness, and confronting. This is a book I will keep within reach so I can reference it in counseling or personal situations.
I read it in preparation for RTIM's missionary orientation where Dr. Jones taught us on handling conflicts.
I read it in preparation for RTIM's missionary orientation where Dr. Jones taught us on handling conflicts.
August 26, 2020
An excellent book on how to reconcile relationships according to Scripture. Jones makes very strong practical points throughout. I have to give this book a knock down simply because I had a hard time tracking his line of thought. It felt as if the book was a little disjointed in its delivery. The content is still very good and immensely helpful.
September 13, 2012
Strained marriage, disgruntled co-worker, tension in the home, irritated by the kids, the list can go on, and on, and on. You get the picture. We live in a fallen world, which affects our relationships. If there is one thing that can keep a person up at night, it is a strained relationship. Controlling thoughts about the other person, guilt, anxiety, and frustration from a damaged relationship certainly need resolution. This is where Pursuing Peace stands above the many other voices vying for our affections during times of conflict. Some books are worth skimming, some are worth a closer look, others worth soaking in, and yet others deserve regular review. Pursuing Peace is the latter. It is Biblical, Christ-centered, practical and contains proven wisdom.
Pursue Peace or Bust
What happens when people do not pursue peace? Dr. Robert Jones says, “Relationships wither without it.” Of course, you know this is true, I know this is true, and Jones certainly knows it, but we often fail to pursue it. If we are to stop faking peace and start pursuing it, this is the book to read. Inside, you will find solid biblical advice unfolded in three steps. Step 1 – Please God; Step 2 – Repent; and Step 3 – Love (13). Sounds simple enough, doesn’t it? But when it comes to relationships, things can get sticky. This is where Jones’ seasoned wisdom shines as he connects theology and real-life.
Begin with Pleasing God
With wisdom and sincerity, Jones begins by focusing on God, specifically the God of peace. He presents peacemaking as a mega theme within Scripture, which connects “our relationships-with God and with others” (18). This theme captured my attention from the beginning of the book. I live in the real world and want to read books that connect Scripture to real life. Jones strategically helps his readers see interpersonal conflict and peace through the lens of the Gospel. He teaches readers to expect conflict because, in a sinful world, conflict is inevitable. Furthermore, he presents lasting biblical wisdom for not only resolving conflicts, but even embracing them as divinely-appointed opportunities (30-38).
Jones reminds us that the first objective in resolving conflict is to please God. Pleasing God must be the first and foundational goal before attempting any type of reconciliation. Pleasing God, rather than other people, should be our highest aim in life (49). He also helps the reader understand what occurs when someone or something other than Christ captivates our heart. He illustrates these run amuck desires through “the throne-staircase diagram,” which pictures Christ on the throne and our run-away desires attempting to dethrone Him (65). If you are a counselor, pastor, Sunday school teacher, or small group leader, this diagram will prove an invaluable tool to your ministry. This is one of several counseling instruments detailed throughout the book.
Recognizing Our Sin – Repent
Much conflict exists because we neither see the planks in our own eyes, nor understand how to work toward reconciliation with those we have wronged. Rather than peace, we are plagued with grudges and bitterness for years. Situations arise, people are offended, forgiveness is not sought, and everyone goes on as if nothing occurred. Jones points out, “No relationship-marital, parental or otherwise- will flourish if an offended partner doubts the offender’s sorrow or his willingness to take responsibility for his actions” (75). He proceeds to unpack how to remove the planks that blind us, so we are free to ask and grant forgiveness as necessary. Furthermore, he carefully dissects the anatomy of an apology, helping readers discover the path of genuine reconciliation. (76, 83-86). Things like, “I was drunk, it was actually your fault, I love you, it was the PMS talking, I am sorry, but…” are tragic substitutes for a sincere apology (90-91). Like a good shepherd, Jones steers readers away from these errors and directs us toward a healthy recognition our own sin, our ongoing need for repentance, and provides many tools to ask for forgiveness when we fail our neighbors.
Love Wins, for Real
As our author begins to land the plane, he enters the third step of loving people and addresses our attitudes, forgiveness, comfort, and serving others (168). The final chapters contain an invaluable counseling tool that I have utilized in the past. It is a chart based on Luke 6:27-36 that outlines the phrases, “Do good, Bless, Pray.” This chart helps readers think through how they can practically do good to others, what it means to bless another person, and how to pray for others. This type of counsel is good medicine for anyone facing relational conflicts and battling bitterness.
This book is a priceless tool for the church. I would confidently recommend this book to anyone; believers as well as non-believers. The clean division into twelve chapters makes Pursuing Peace an excellent resource for group discipleship or one-on-one counseling. Jones takes deep theology and applies the truths to everyday life. He is faithful to the text and maintains a clear reading style. I simply could not want more. Buy it, read it, re-read it, pass it out, and most importantly, Pursue Peace.
Pursue Peace or Bust
What happens when people do not pursue peace? Dr. Robert Jones says, “Relationships wither without it.” Of course, you know this is true, I know this is true, and Jones certainly knows it, but we often fail to pursue it. If we are to stop faking peace and start pursuing it, this is the book to read. Inside, you will find solid biblical advice unfolded in three steps. Step 1 – Please God; Step 2 – Repent; and Step 3 – Love (13). Sounds simple enough, doesn’t it? But when it comes to relationships, things can get sticky. This is where Jones’ seasoned wisdom shines as he connects theology and real-life.
Begin with Pleasing God
With wisdom and sincerity, Jones begins by focusing on God, specifically the God of peace. He presents peacemaking as a mega theme within Scripture, which connects “our relationships-with God and with others” (18). This theme captured my attention from the beginning of the book. I live in the real world and want to read books that connect Scripture to real life. Jones strategically helps his readers see interpersonal conflict and peace through the lens of the Gospel. He teaches readers to expect conflict because, in a sinful world, conflict is inevitable. Furthermore, he presents lasting biblical wisdom for not only resolving conflicts, but even embracing them as divinely-appointed opportunities (30-38).
Jones reminds us that the first objective in resolving conflict is to please God. Pleasing God must be the first and foundational goal before attempting any type of reconciliation. Pleasing God, rather than other people, should be our highest aim in life (49). He also helps the reader understand what occurs when someone or something other than Christ captivates our heart. He illustrates these run amuck desires through “the throne-staircase diagram,” which pictures Christ on the throne and our run-away desires attempting to dethrone Him (65). If you are a counselor, pastor, Sunday school teacher, or small group leader, this diagram will prove an invaluable tool to your ministry. This is one of several counseling instruments detailed throughout the book.
Recognizing Our Sin – Repent
Much conflict exists because we neither see the planks in our own eyes, nor understand how to work toward reconciliation with those we have wronged. Rather than peace, we are plagued with grudges and bitterness for years. Situations arise, people are offended, forgiveness is not sought, and everyone goes on as if nothing occurred. Jones points out, “No relationship-marital, parental or otherwise- will flourish if an offended partner doubts the offender’s sorrow or his willingness to take responsibility for his actions” (75). He proceeds to unpack how to remove the planks that blind us, so we are free to ask and grant forgiveness as necessary. Furthermore, he carefully dissects the anatomy of an apology, helping readers discover the path of genuine reconciliation. (76, 83-86). Things like, “I was drunk, it was actually your fault, I love you, it was the PMS talking, I am sorry, but…” are tragic substitutes for a sincere apology (90-91). Like a good shepherd, Jones steers readers away from these errors and directs us toward a healthy recognition our own sin, our ongoing need for repentance, and provides many tools to ask for forgiveness when we fail our neighbors.
Love Wins, for Real
As our author begins to land the plane, he enters the third step of loving people and addresses our attitudes, forgiveness, comfort, and serving others (168). The final chapters contain an invaluable counseling tool that I have utilized in the past. It is a chart based on Luke 6:27-36 that outlines the phrases, “Do good, Bless, Pray.” This chart helps readers think through how they can practically do good to others, what it means to bless another person, and how to pray for others. This type of counsel is good medicine for anyone facing relational conflicts and battling bitterness.
This book is a priceless tool for the church. I would confidently recommend this book to anyone; believers as well as non-believers. The clean division into twelve chapters makes Pursuing Peace an excellent resource for group discipleship or one-on-one counseling. Jones takes deep theology and applies the truths to everyday life. He is faithful to the text and maintains a clear reading style. I simply could not want more. Buy it, read it, re-read it, pass it out, and most importantly, Pursue Peace.
April 29, 2024
I mean, WHAT A BOOK. May I humbly commend this work to every human experiencing conflict! The author is grounded in truth, practical and direct, yet compassionate and full of hope. I’ll be referring to the philosophies and step-by-step wisdom of this book for the rest of my life.
March 19, 2021
A helpful guide to understanding how Christians ought to understand conflict and seek to make peace.
May 24, 2020
Seemed to be a bit repetitive, but still good.
Very helpful on the two levels of forgiveness (ch. 8).
Very helpful on the two levels of forgiveness (ch. 8).
August 22, 2020
3.8 Stars
A good pastoral treatment on handling conflicts and "pursuing peace." Jones definitely addresses what is the essence of handling conflict and fogiving others, which is understanding how much God has given us peace and forgiven us our debts. Jones emphasizes this redemptive reality rightly but perhaps goes too far into specifics, steps, and situations. A good book that could have been 1/4 of the length.
A good pastoral treatment on handling conflicts and "pursuing peace." Jones definitely addresses what is the essence of handling conflict and fogiving others, which is understanding how much God has given us peace and forgiven us our debts. Jones emphasizes this redemptive reality rightly but perhaps goes too far into specifics, steps, and situations. A good book that could have been 1/4 of the length.
September 8, 2024
I was recommended this book by a coworker after a couple of discussions we had on "The Peace Maker" by Ken Sande. That book really impacted me and I decided to also buy this book since it came highly recommended.
The writing style has been hard for me to get into (although, perhaps if I knew the author's voice and cadence, it would click more with me). It's not disjointed necessarily, but just a bit different than some of the other writing styles I've been reading lately. It is more formal, I think.
"On one hand, they failed to grasp that conflicts are sinful and must be addressed. Conflicts displease God. They produce distance, disunity, and disharmony." Pg. 35. I don't think every conflict is inherently sinful. This blanket statement hit a wrong key, I feel like. For example, there is plenty of conflict in the Bible that is good or beneficial in God's eyes — when the Lord told Israel to go to war: good. Every time Jesus confronted Pharisees: good. Every time a prophet confronted a sinful generation: good. It may usually feel bad, but it is not always bad. In fact, sometimes conflict, although uncomfortable, is something that needs to happen. I understand his point — a lot of it is just petty, self-centered conflict. But not every bit is bad. I may be wrong. But from personal experience — even the conflicts I've hated walking through to the core of my being — not every conflict was bad. It just felt bad.
Chapter 3 was excellent. The focus is pleasing God, and the illustration the author used for pleasing God above all else is going to stick with me for a long time. God used this chapter to teach me minutes before an unexpected conflict popped up, and it really helped me to keep things in perspective. That perspective being that I should not selfishly seek to do whatever I wanted (I really wanted to react in a negative way at points) but that I should ask, "Is what I am doing going to please God? He is the audience and the director of my life, isn't He?" Let's just say He spared me from further inflaming a conflict just by pressing that into my heart earlier in the day. So thankful for this chapter especially!
I also liked how the author discussed two common conflict styles: avoidance and charging headlong into conflict too quickly. I tend to be avoidant and have generally seen that as the "better route" for most of my life. But he made a good point that avoidance may not be the best if we are needing to step up and address something. He also mentioned that if you tend to rush into conflict, maybe pausing and talking to God before anyone else is a good habit to get into, among other things.
Even though this is a book on conflict, I'm actually learning things that are useful in other areas of my life. I've added tabs to a lot of pages and I think I'll reference this book a lot in the future. I didn't agree with everything in the book. However, that is the case with most books I read! I appreciated the focus on me (that feels so weird to type out) — like what am I doing or not doing that I should be doing? What has God called *me* to do in conflict? A lot of conflict advice can center so much on the other person, that we forget to hold the mirror up to ourselves. We cannot control what another person does necessarily, but we can control ourselves and our response. This eliminates some of that perceived powerlessness we feel like we have in so many of these situations. Not that the goal is to "feel more in control," but that the goal is healthy and holy ownership of our part in a conflict. What would change if we looked reality in the face and said, "Yeah. I own that. And I need to make sure I do the right thing here"?
I would definitely recommend this book to any Christian. It's a good resource for dealing with conflict. I definitely think this book in a group discussion format would be wildly impactful. Partnering with the Holy Spirit and having an open dialogue with God while reading, even better. May we always welcome His conviction and wisdom, which are tethered to mercy and love.
4 stars.
The writing style has been hard for me to get into (although, perhaps if I knew the author's voice and cadence, it would click more with me). It's not disjointed necessarily, but just a bit different than some of the other writing styles I've been reading lately. It is more formal, I think.
"On one hand, they failed to grasp that conflicts are sinful and must be addressed. Conflicts displease God. They produce distance, disunity, and disharmony." Pg. 35. I don't think every conflict is inherently sinful. This blanket statement hit a wrong key, I feel like. For example, there is plenty of conflict in the Bible that is good or beneficial in God's eyes — when the Lord told Israel to go to war: good. Every time Jesus confronted Pharisees: good. Every time a prophet confronted a sinful generation: good. It may usually feel bad, but it is not always bad. In fact, sometimes conflict, although uncomfortable, is something that needs to happen. I understand his point — a lot of it is just petty, self-centered conflict. But not every bit is bad. I may be wrong. But from personal experience — even the conflicts I've hated walking through to the core of my being — not every conflict was bad. It just felt bad.
Chapter 3 was excellent. The focus is pleasing God, and the illustration the author used for pleasing God above all else is going to stick with me for a long time. God used this chapter to teach me minutes before an unexpected conflict popped up, and it really helped me to keep things in perspective. That perspective being that I should not selfishly seek to do whatever I wanted (I really wanted to react in a negative way at points) but that I should ask, "Is what I am doing going to please God? He is the audience and the director of my life, isn't He?" Let's just say He spared me from further inflaming a conflict just by pressing that into my heart earlier in the day. So thankful for this chapter especially!
I also liked how the author discussed two common conflict styles: avoidance and charging headlong into conflict too quickly. I tend to be avoidant and have generally seen that as the "better route" for most of my life. But he made a good point that avoidance may not be the best if we are needing to step up and address something. He also mentioned that if you tend to rush into conflict, maybe pausing and talking to God before anyone else is a good habit to get into, among other things.
Even though this is a book on conflict, I'm actually learning things that are useful in other areas of my life. I've added tabs to a lot of pages and I think I'll reference this book a lot in the future. I didn't agree with everything in the book. However, that is the case with most books I read! I appreciated the focus on me (that feels so weird to type out) — like what am I doing or not doing that I should be doing? What has God called *me* to do in conflict? A lot of conflict advice can center so much on the other person, that we forget to hold the mirror up to ourselves. We cannot control what another person does necessarily, but we can control ourselves and our response. This eliminates some of that perceived powerlessness we feel like we have in so many of these situations. Not that the goal is to "feel more in control," but that the goal is healthy and holy ownership of our part in a conflict. What would change if we looked reality in the face and said, "Yeah. I own that. And I need to make sure I do the right thing here"?
I would definitely recommend this book to any Christian. It's a good resource for dealing with conflict. I definitely think this book in a group discussion format would be wildly impactful. Partnering with the Holy Spirit and having an open dialogue with God while reading, even better. May we always welcome His conviction and wisdom, which are tethered to mercy and love.
4 stars.
February 14, 2020
This book is deeply biblical, simply structured, and extremely helpful for counseling. Any reader cannot miss that Dr. Jones intertwines true relational peace with Biblical truth. Do not let this short book fool you, it provides a practically helpful yet in-depth overview of relational change; it is filled with biblical wisdom and will be a resource I turn to in the future when I or others need to review or be taught how to be a peacemaker. By the grace of God, may we pursue relational peace with others. Book structure to follow:
Chapter one explains that true peace with other humans (horizontal) stems from an individuals peace with God (vertical). Chapters 2 rightly explains that, because we live in a fallen world, conflict is inevitable, sinful, and an opportunity to grow. Peacemaking has three steps. First, the commitment to please God (Ch. 3). Second, identifying, repenting of, and confessing heart and behavioral sins to God and to man (Chs. 4-6). Third, pursuing key attitudes (Ch. 7) like the attitudinal and granted levels of forgiveness (Chs. 8-9). Chapter 10 discusses how and when to confront another individual and chapter 11 discusses how to serve other individuals. Chapter 12 gives insight into extremely difficult scenarios where individuals cannot resolve their conflict.
Chapter one explains that true peace with other humans (horizontal) stems from an individuals peace with God (vertical). Chapters 2 rightly explains that, because we live in a fallen world, conflict is inevitable, sinful, and an opportunity to grow. Peacemaking has three steps. First, the commitment to please God (Ch. 3). Second, identifying, repenting of, and confessing heart and behavioral sins to God and to man (Chs. 4-6). Third, pursuing key attitudes (Ch. 7) like the attitudinal and granted levels of forgiveness (Chs. 8-9). Chapter 10 discusses how and when to confront another individual and chapter 11 discusses how to serve other individuals. Chapter 12 gives insight into extremely difficult scenarios where individuals cannot resolve their conflict.
January 14, 2023
7/10
Paperback
The first half of this book is kinda dry high-level concepts regarding how God connects to horizontal conflicts. I preferred the in-person lecture version of that content. The book is written as an expanded outline, which gets old after a bit. However, the second half where he goes into detail about biblically approaching horizontal conflict was fantastic. I took away a lot that has better equipped me to deal with conflict. I also love how full of Bible references the book is and that he uses a biblical counseling approach that encourages reading the Bible and seeking wisdom from mature Christians to navigate conflict.
Paperback
The first half of this book is kinda dry high-level concepts regarding how God connects to horizontal conflicts. I preferred the in-person lecture version of that content. The book is written as an expanded outline, which gets old after a bit. However, the second half where he goes into detail about biblically approaching horizontal conflict was fantastic. I took away a lot that has better equipped me to deal with conflict. I also love how full of Bible references the book is and that he uses a biblical counseling approach that encourages reading the Bible and seeking wisdom from mature Christians to navigate conflict.
October 20, 2024
I come from a lot of legalism when it comes to conflict resolution, so this book is was super helpful, refreshing, redeeming, and biblical. Everything in this was deeply grounded in Scripture and driven by the gospel. I found the chapter on the gospel (ch. 8 I believe) to be my favorite! It meditated on the forgiveness we have in Christ and how that motivates us to pursue peace! This book brought together two important principles in a helpful and compatible way: overlooking offenses, and confronting/rebuke. I feel helped and really challenged. Dr. Jones is both my prof and my pastor and I higggghlyyy recommend all of his resources! He is a blessing!
December 24, 2025
A biblical, pastoral, and practical approach to pursuing peace in relationships. Conflict can often be messy, especially in the church. Instead of avoiding it or haphazardly diving headlong into it, we need to look to the Bible for wisdom on how to be peacemakers. I wish every pastor and church member would read this book to be better equipped to pursue peace with others. We need more peacemakers in the church. We need more people doing the hard work of seeking peace in relationships. This book is a helpful resource to grow and help others grow in this area. "Blessed are the peacemakers, for they shall be called sons of God." (Matt 5:9)
November 28, 2023
A remarkable book, one that I already need to read again even though it took me over a year to do so. I would go so far to say that every topic and concern and even those I had not thought about are thoroughly explained throughout this book with plenty of Scripture as examples of why or why not. I do not feel that I can accurately describe everything I want to in a way that will do this book justice so I will simply implore you to read it yourself. You will not regret it.
December 30, 2022
This is a book I intend to reference, read again, and share. It contains solid, biblical, tangible truths to guide peace and reconciliation, without fluff or vague “just be nice/good” sentiments. This book digs in to the heart of the matter, with tools to walk through (and avoid) minor or severe relational difficulties, armed with God’s word and a perspective based on truth and love.
January 12, 2023
A very good guide and how-to for handling conflict as a Christian. This book is practical and grounded in scripture, giving good steps one should and can take but always showing how these steps come from the truth of God's Word. Anyone who is experiencing conflict, seeking to help those who experience conflict, or who will experience conflict (so everyone) can benefit from this book.
October 23, 2023
Aside from the occasionally cheesy diagrams and feeling a bit overly programmatic at times, I really appreciated this book a lot. I'd definitely recommend it to anyone interested in the subject of biblical reconciliation. There's a lot of wisdom in there, and I think it could be handy as a reference/resource/guide going forward.
December 5, 2024
This book was genuinely so helpful. Jones offered a clear and heart-driven outline for how to resolve personal conflict and to mediate in others' conflicts. His suggestions and conclusions were rooted in Scripture and supported well. I would absolutely recommend this book to anyone who loves the Lord deeply and desires to pursue and create peace.
March 24, 2025
I found this book very helpful in guiding Christians in pursuing peace in relationships. Throughout the book he gives examples by mentioning various biblical counseling situations and how the conflict was resolved. I would highly recommend this book to anyone dealing with conflict and help understanding forgiveness.
November 30, 2017
An exceptionally helpful book outlining God's plan for conflict resolution. Jones' very practical steps outline the biblical theology behind forgiveness, as well as the nuts and bolts of how to reconcile. His emphasis on the vertical relationship made the book a worthwhile read alone.
June 18, 2019
Good biblical information about how to handle conflicts, but the entire book was in an outline format and drove me insane every time I saw another chapter outline such as "topic a, subtopic 1, point 2".
Displaying 1 - 30 of 66 reviews