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Talking Back to OCD: The Program That Helps Kids and Teens Say "No Way" -- and Parents Say "Way to Go"
No one wants to get rid of obsessive-compulsive disorder more than someone who has it. That's why Talking Back to OCD puts kids and teens in charge. Dr. John March's eight-step program has already helped thousands of young people show the disorder that it doesn't call the shots-- they do. This uniquely designed volume is really two books in one. Each chapter begins with a section that helps kids and teens zero in on specific problems and develop skills they can use to tune out obsessions and resist compulsions. The pages that follow show parents how to be supportive without getting in the way. The next time OCD butts in, your family will be prepared to boss back--and show an unwelcome visitor to the door.
Association for Behavioral and Cognitive Therapies (ABCT) Self-Help Book of Merit
Association for Behavioral and Cognitive Therapies (ABCT) Self-Help Book of Merit
276 pages, Paperback
First published March 10, 1995
154 people are currently reading
307 people want to read
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Displaying 1 - 25 of 25 reviews
September 25, 2022
I picked this up on a whim, knowing that it's intended for children and parents. I was diagnosed with OCD at age 26, though, looking back, I'd had symptoms since early childhood. My OCD is "pure-O" – purely obsessions, no outward compulsions. This is a less stereotypical presentation, and probably explains why I wasn't diagnosed for so long. I wasn't washing too much or spending hours arranging things, just obsessing quietly to myself about bad things happening!
I had mixed feelings about this book. Having learned these techniques as a child, instead of as an adult, would have saved me a lot of heartache and time over the years. However, there's a lot of stuff in this book that wouldn't have been helpful to me. I'd say about 80-90% of the content is focused on elimination of physical compulsions, with occasional lip service paid to those of us who just obsess.
It's not until page 103 that the author spells out that his definition of "getting rid of OCD" means "getting to the point where no one but the child knows that OCD is still lurking in the background." This is NOT AT ALL helpful for those of us whose struggles have been entirely internal. Further, I think that labeling this as "getting rid" oversells it a bit. It seems clear that this book is largely focused on making OCD less difficult for parents to deal with. I can appreciate the struggle parents must face, but lack of outward struggle doesn't equal lack of struggle!
While I was reading this book, I wondered to myself whether "hubristic" was a word. Turns out it is, so I can use it to describe this author! The author spends A LOT of time in the first half of this book talking about how this method is THE MOST effective method for treatment of OCD, and most effective for making it disappear FOREVER. (I brought this up to my therapist, who was as dubious as I was. She brought up that it's more likely that extinguishing one obsession will just make another pop up, Whack-A-Mole style. This was addressed ONCE, in the latter half of this book, in comparison to at least a dozen brags about how this program will likely end it forever.)
A lot of the techniques in this book seem to assume that OCD symptoms are constant, that worries are the same all of the time. This has not been my experience. I've worried about different things at different times, at different intensities. Phases come and go for me, and I'd imagine I'm not alone. There would be times that I'd thought I "conquered" an obsession, only for it to return in weeks or months.
This book assumes that the parents (and siblings!) are both able and willing to support the child, which isn't always true. The child does most of the work, but I can see a lot of parents being ill-equipped to help. I'm glad that the author strongly suggested involving a therapist (at least once every chapter), because I can't imagine going this alone.
In short, there's some good and helpful stuff in here, but not necessarily useful to everyone, and don't expect it to be a perfect, permanent cure.
I had mixed feelings about this book. Having learned these techniques as a child, instead of as an adult, would have saved me a lot of heartache and time over the years. However, there's a lot of stuff in this book that wouldn't have been helpful to me. I'd say about 80-90% of the content is focused on elimination of physical compulsions, with occasional lip service paid to those of us who just obsess.
It's not until page 103 that the author spells out that his definition of "getting rid of OCD" means "getting to the point where no one but the child knows that OCD is still lurking in the background." This is NOT AT ALL helpful for those of us whose struggles have been entirely internal. Further, I think that labeling this as "getting rid" oversells it a bit. It seems clear that this book is largely focused on making OCD less difficult for parents to deal with. I can appreciate the struggle parents must face, but lack of outward struggle doesn't equal lack of struggle!
While I was reading this book, I wondered to myself whether "hubristic" was a word. Turns out it is, so I can use it to describe this author! The author spends A LOT of time in the first half of this book talking about how this method is THE MOST effective method for treatment of OCD, and most effective for making it disappear FOREVER. (I brought this up to my therapist, who was as dubious as I was. She brought up that it's more likely that extinguishing one obsession will just make another pop up, Whack-A-Mole style. This was addressed ONCE, in the latter half of this book, in comparison to at least a dozen brags about how this program will likely end it forever.)
A lot of the techniques in this book seem to assume that OCD symptoms are constant, that worries are the same all of the time. This has not been my experience. I've worried about different things at different times, at different intensities. Phases come and go for me, and I'd imagine I'm not alone. There would be times that I'd thought I "conquered" an obsession, only for it to return in weeks or months.
This book assumes that the parents (and siblings!) are both able and willing to support the child, which isn't always true. The child does most of the work, but I can see a lot of parents being ill-equipped to help. I'm glad that the author strongly suggested involving a therapist (at least once every chapter), because I can't imagine going this alone.
In short, there's some good and helpful stuff in here, but not necessarily useful to everyone, and don't expect it to be a perfect, permanent cure.
July 13, 2018
4.5 stars. There is so much good information here. I especially appreciated the chapters on how both SSRIs and ERP (exposure response prevention) improve OCD symptoms, but in different ways. I had never read anything that detailed before. I also LOVED the chapter on treating OCD as an illness, something the child cannot help. I would never get angry with a child for having an asthma attack, so I should never get angry with a child for having an OCD attack. My favorite sentence from the whole book: We tend to think of patience as “grin and bear it” endurance, but really it’s the willingness and ability to accept with kindness what can’t for the moment be fixed.
The reason I knocked off half a star is because the book presents itself as something the child reads on his/her own (with every other chapter being for the parents to read). Then the child sets up the ERP program with occasional check-ins from the parents. I can’t imagine any child younger than 17 actually doing this independently, especially a child caught in OCD. The program itself also seems needlessly complex. I learned quite a bit more about the nitty gritty of ERP from Natasha Daniel’s e-course on parenting kids with OCD. Of course if this book had been my first introduction to this technique, perhaps I would hold it as my standard instead. One other complaint is that the examples given are heavily focused on contamination and “just right” OCD themes. A person with moral OCD or another type might not recognize herself readily in this text.
The reason I knocked off half a star is because the book presents itself as something the child reads on his/her own (with every other chapter being for the parents to read). Then the child sets up the ERP program with occasional check-ins from the parents. I can’t imagine any child younger than 17 actually doing this independently, especially a child caught in OCD. The program itself also seems needlessly complex. I learned quite a bit more about the nitty gritty of ERP from Natasha Daniel’s e-course on parenting kids with OCD. Of course if this book had been my first introduction to this technique, perhaps I would hold it as my standard instead. One other complaint is that the examples given are heavily focused on contamination and “just right” OCD themes. A person with moral OCD or another type might not recognize herself readily in this text.
May 21, 2019
This book is a must-read for any parent guiding a child through treatment.
December 5, 2023
This book has two parts. Part 1 explains what OCD is and part 2 is a workbook to go through an 8-week program to supposedly overcome it.
The first 78 pages are really good. It compares OCD to hiccups and talks about what is happening with the brain. It also explains what medication does. All of this is explained in an easy-to-understand way. (Although the brain stuff was a bit deep). While the focus is on OCD, I really liked that this discussed not just OCD, but other things like anxiety, depression, and ADHD. If the first part was a book by itself, I'd give 4 stars.
The second part of the book seemed monotonous to read without actually doing the program. It seemed repetitive and gimmicky, constantly mentioning how this is the best program for OCD. So, I stopped reading and scanned. If the second part was a book by itself, it would be 1 star, max.
Content considerations:
Step 4 is exposure and response. Example on page 165 includes recommending exposure to pornography in order to combat compulsion to pray. I disagree with the author and anyone else who would do that. Throughout the book, there are references to types of OCD. This is the one the author calls 'religious scrupulosity.'
Another example on the same page encourages cheating on a test.
Some references or stories in the book are gruesome.
Typo, page 92.
"...Or, if you're to old for something like this,..."
There are two O's in too.
The first 78 pages are really good. It compares OCD to hiccups and talks about what is happening with the brain. It also explains what medication does. All of this is explained in an easy-to-understand way. (Although the brain stuff was a bit deep). While the focus is on OCD, I really liked that this discussed not just OCD, but other things like anxiety, depression, and ADHD. If the first part was a book by itself, I'd give 4 stars.
The second part of the book seemed monotonous to read without actually doing the program. It seemed repetitive and gimmicky, constantly mentioning how this is the best program for OCD. So, I stopped reading and scanned. If the second part was a book by itself, it would be 1 star, max.
Content considerations:
Step 4 is exposure and response. Example on page 165 includes recommending exposure to pornography in order to combat compulsion to pray. I disagree with the author and anyone else who would do that. Throughout the book, there are references to types of OCD. This is the one the author calls 'religious scrupulosity.'
Another example on the same page encourages cheating on a test.
Some references or stories in the book are gruesome.
Typo, page 92.
"...Or, if you're to old for something like this,..."
There are two O's in too.
May 16, 2019
This is a really great program that can remind people w/ OCD that they are not alone, and give them tools / steps to resist and conquer OCD.
This book / program is geared toward OCD in children / teenagers.
This book / program is geared toward OCD in children / teenagers.
September 6, 2008
Well, this was very cute!
I think it'd be a wonderful tool for any parent with an OCD kid, and it's certainly a good source of helpful techniques for anyone with OCD, whether they be 7 or 77.
Here were the reading notes I took:
“Obsessive-compulsive disorder (OCD) is a brain illness. Kids and teenagers with OCD have mental “hiccups” (obsessions) that make them feel anxious or uncomfortable, and their illness tricjs them into trying to eliminate that feeling by performing certain rituals over and over (compulsions).” (1)
They advocate that the child be in charge of controlling the urges.
“A shift in perspective works wonders. OCD is not about good or bad behavior. When you understand that OCD is a true brain illness, you realize that having it is not a matter of choice and resolving it is not a matter of willpower, tough it does require good intentions.” (9)
“Children have incredible powers of imagination, and fantasizing is a critical tool they use to understand and adapt ot a large and sometimes scary world.” (12)
They identify OCD as an “imposter” and “moustache-twirling villain” (19)
“If you don’t play with OCD, it gets bored and goes away, but only if you don’t play with it.” (20)
Classifications of OCD (30)
1. Washing
2. Checking
3. ordering / arranging / symmetry
4. counting / repeating
5. scrupulosity (intrusive sexual thoughts or urges, excessive religious or moral doubt, a need to tell, ask, confess)
6. hoarding
“Thinking of OCD as being triggered by something- like someone pushing over the first domino in a row- is a helpful way to undersand the way OCD works.” (40)
“Believe it or not, hundreds of years ago OCD was thought to be the result of demonic possession, to be cured by some type of exorcism or by repenting one’s sins.” (50)
“Think of yourself as the point guard, the captain, the quarterback, the admiral, the pilot, or whatever appeals to you.” (87)
They describe a mental toolkit, including a “map” for OCD
They suggest giving OCD a funny nickname
I think it'd be a wonderful tool for any parent with an OCD kid, and it's certainly a good source of helpful techniques for anyone with OCD, whether they be 7 or 77.
Here were the reading notes I took:
“Obsessive-compulsive disorder (OCD) is a brain illness. Kids and teenagers with OCD have mental “hiccups” (obsessions) that make them feel anxious or uncomfortable, and their illness tricjs them into trying to eliminate that feeling by performing certain rituals over and over (compulsions).” (1)
They advocate that the child be in charge of controlling the urges.
“A shift in perspective works wonders. OCD is not about good or bad behavior. When you understand that OCD is a true brain illness, you realize that having it is not a matter of choice and resolving it is not a matter of willpower, tough it does require good intentions.” (9)
“Children have incredible powers of imagination, and fantasizing is a critical tool they use to understand and adapt ot a large and sometimes scary world.” (12)
They identify OCD as an “imposter” and “moustache-twirling villain” (19)
“If you don’t play with OCD, it gets bored and goes away, but only if you don’t play with it.” (20)
Classifications of OCD (30)
1. Washing
2. Checking
3. ordering / arranging / symmetry
4. counting / repeating
5. scrupulosity (intrusive sexual thoughts or urges, excessive religious or moral doubt, a need to tell, ask, confess)
6. hoarding
“Thinking of OCD as being triggered by something- like someone pushing over the first domino in a row- is a helpful way to undersand the way OCD works.” (40)
“Believe it or not, hundreds of years ago OCD was thought to be the result of demonic possession, to be cured by some type of exorcism or by repenting one’s sins.” (50)
“Think of yourself as the point guard, the captain, the quarterback, the admiral, the pilot, or whatever appeals to you.” (87)
They describe a mental toolkit, including a “map” for OCD
They suggest giving OCD a funny nickname
This entire review has been hidden because of spoilers.
July 26, 2024
I know this isn’t my usual genre on here, and while I may love my smut I do also love to learn and grow.
I work in the mental health field with children through CBT every day. My son was diagnosed with OCD and suddenly I felt at a loss. I was trying to work with him like I do the kids I see every day but it was really hard to keep my head straight because while my heart hurts for all the kids I work with, it hurts on a much deeper level with my own.
My son is very advanced and loves to read so this book was a great tool for us both. It didn’t have any language too confusing for him and made him see there’s nothing “wrong” with him and that he’s not the only one who lives with the struggles of OCD. Having read this before giving it to my son for us to work through together I was able to reassure myself that I can and will help my son live with this and he will be able to enjoy his childhood without being in constant fear of “what ifs”.
I did feel some of the language was a bit misleading. I made sure to correct his while speaking with my son. I don’t believe there is a true way to “get rid” of OCD but there are healthy coping skills and ways to focus on positive thinking and not live in constant fear. I didn’t want him to be discouraged when he completes this book with me and still has thoughts and compulsions that make him uneasy that it didn’t work and feel hopeless.
Very thankful my son’s Dr. recommend this book to me and that my son and I are able to build on our already strong communication and trust.
<3
I work in the mental health field with children through CBT every day. My son was diagnosed with OCD and suddenly I felt at a loss. I was trying to work with him like I do the kids I see every day but it was really hard to keep my head straight because while my heart hurts for all the kids I work with, it hurts on a much deeper level with my own.
My son is very advanced and loves to read so this book was a great tool for us both. It didn’t have any language too confusing for him and made him see there’s nothing “wrong” with him and that he’s not the only one who lives with the struggles of OCD. Having read this before giving it to my son for us to work through together I was able to reassure myself that I can and will help my son live with this and he will be able to enjoy his childhood without being in constant fear of “what ifs”.
I did feel some of the language was a bit misleading. I made sure to correct his while speaking with my son. I don’t believe there is a true way to “get rid” of OCD but there are healthy coping skills and ways to focus on positive thinking and not live in constant fear. I didn’t want him to be discouraged when he completes this book with me and still has thoughts and compulsions that make him uneasy that it didn’t work and feel hopeless.
Very thankful my son’s Dr. recommend this book to me and that my son and I are able to build on our already strong communication and trust.
<3
March 28, 2021
So first off, I have (usually) mild OCD and two of my children have OCD. Oh, and my dad has it. One of the descriptions given could’ve been written about my son or me. I think there are a lot of good ideas in this book.
There were a couple of things I disliked. Some of the ex/rp examples given seemed to go too far to me, like encouraging a child who had unwanted sexual thoughts to get to the point where they can look at porn without feeling guilty. I’m not ok with that on many levels. And seems to replace one obsession with another; the author actually warns against replacing one ritual with another later in the book, which is another reason it seems out of place. So that part was disappointing.
But there’s a lot of other parts of the book that are good. I was always going to have to modify it anyway since my child has both autism and OCD.
There were a couple of things I disliked. Some of the ex/rp examples given seemed to go too far to me, like encouraging a child who had unwanted sexual thoughts to get to the point where they can look at porn without feeling guilty. I’m not ok with that on many levels. And seems to replace one obsession with another; the author actually warns against replacing one ritual with another later in the book, which is another reason it seems out of place. So that part was disappointing.
But there’s a lot of other parts of the book that are good. I was always going to have to modify it anyway since my child has both autism and OCD.
June 2, 2020
Invaluable resource for every family & individual suffering from OCD. Great for the therapist, too! As the title indicates, the audience is families/individuals who are pre-school or school-age. Very helpful analogies and scientific normalizing of this condition. (Read along with Grayson's Freedom from Obsessive-Compulsive Disorder)
January 4, 2021
I read this a couple of years ago to help my daughter who was struggling with minor OCD. While I didn't follow through the entire program with her, what I did read was immensely helpful in teaching her skills and ways to manage her own OCD tendencies. She barely struggles with them anymore, so I owe a lot to this little book! Highly recommended if you or your children experience OCD in any form!
June 6, 2022
A great and informative book for anyone of any age suffering from OCD. I do highly recommend, if you have the means, getting a therapist trained in ERP to work with you through the material outlined, as the book alone may not necessarily suffice. I do think this is a very very important start, however.
June 15, 2020
Amazing helpful audiobook on Amazon. It comes with a workbook to help the child and the parents. It was absolutely great to read it and see that as part of the family we can help our little ones. I also understood what to say and do.
June 3, 2024
This book is definitely helpful. I have my own way of exposure therapy so I don't follow the exact steps in the book, but I still read it. I really love when they have the little speech bubbles featuring real life kids explaining their experiences. It really helps me relate to it and will definitely make others feel like they are not alone.
OVERALL:
This book is really helpful!)
OVERALL:
This book is really helpful!)
October 6, 2018
This book changed my life and my relationship with OCD. It contains fantastic coping techniques and creative ideas for dealing with obsessions.
June 17, 2021
Good treatment book . Excellent with parent vs children chapters. Still feel like the chapters for kids need a bit more polish to keep kids attention. But good book for intervention with OAcD
February 16, 2023
Such an answer to prayer. It is so informative. The steps to walk out are a bit complex. I would say the steps and homework are definitely better for teens than young kids.
October 25, 2023
Super helpful information, tools, and guide if you’re looking for support in this area.
April 12, 2024
im sensitive to patronizing kids but that's literally the ocd. but then,
September 5, 2024
Helpful insights. Can't (yet) speak to results.
October 24, 2025
Too long and sterile for me. The first half had some good info on understanding ocd but the active part of it was so confusing and overwhelming. I just couldn’t.
March 6, 2017
A fantastic resource for parents, kids, teachers and mental health workers. Usable, realistic strategies combined with attainable goals.
January 20, 2010
Excellent resource for families dealing with OCD. I actually only read to page 158 because the second half of the book is a workbook for the individual dealing with OCD and I was slogging through it and gave up on finishing.
November 3, 2008
Great book for parents and children with OCD. Very useful!!!
January 20, 2015
Very helpful, clear and concise program for helping parents of children and teens with OCD.
December 26, 2016
Helped us immensely to understand OCD and how to approach dealing with it. It was a game changer for my daughter.
Displaying 1 - 25 of 25 reviews