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Gone Too Soon: The Life and Loss of Infants and Unborn Children
Book by Wittwer, Sherri Devashrayee
97 pages, Paperback
First published February 1, 1994
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Displaying 1 - 30 of 42 reviews
August 11, 2007
It is about the life and loss of infants and unborn children.
It was very simple and easy to read. I read it in about one day, because it isn't very long. A lot of the things it said make so much sense, but I just hadn't thought of them that way before. I am glad to have a tiny bit of insight into what grieving parents need.
My favorite part of this book was the account of a doctor who was present when surgery was being performed for a ruptured tubal pregnancy that was 8 weeks along. He tells of holding the tiny embryo in his hands. The amniotic sac hadn't ruptured and the baby was very much alive inside. I was struck powerfully by his account of watching the baby swimming and moving vigorously and naturally around in the amniotic fluid. I felt the spirit telling me that his description was accurate, and that that tiny little 8 week old baby was very much alive and had a spirit already.
Strange as it may sound, I think having read this book will help me be more peaceful through my next pregnancy. Of course I will still be nervous that things will go wrong somewhere along the way, nobody wants to lose a child. But I won't have that horrible fear that if I lost the baby "too soon" it would just be gone forever. The doctrinal teachings reassured me that these babies are ours and will be reunited with us some day- even if they never get to take a breath outside the womb.
A touching book. It opened my eyes to a lot of new things. And it didn't terrify me with horrific, medical details (like all those pregnancy books!). Instead it reassured me with gentle advice and sound doctrine.
It was very simple and easy to read. I read it in about one day, because it isn't very long. A lot of the things it said make so much sense, but I just hadn't thought of them that way before. I am glad to have a tiny bit of insight into what grieving parents need.
My favorite part of this book was the account of a doctor who was present when surgery was being performed for a ruptured tubal pregnancy that was 8 weeks along. He tells of holding the tiny embryo in his hands. The amniotic sac hadn't ruptured and the baby was very much alive inside. I was struck powerfully by his account of watching the baby swimming and moving vigorously and naturally around in the amniotic fluid. I felt the spirit telling me that his description was accurate, and that that tiny little 8 week old baby was very much alive and had a spirit already.
Strange as it may sound, I think having read this book will help me be more peaceful through my next pregnancy. Of course I will still be nervous that things will go wrong somewhere along the way, nobody wants to lose a child. But I won't have that horrible fear that if I lost the baby "too soon" it would just be gone forever. The doctrinal teachings reassured me that these babies are ours and will be reunited with us some day- even if they never get to take a breath outside the womb.
A touching book. It opened my eyes to a lot of new things. And it didn't terrify me with horrific, medical details (like all those pregnancy books!). Instead it reassured me with gentle advice and sound doctrine.
May 21, 2024
My three star review has nothing to do with the writing or material. I just didn’t find it as helpful as I had heard it was. I think that may be because:
1. I have been lucky enough to have multiple people who have gone through similar things reach out to me. It has been three months now, and I feel like I have already learned every bit of advice this book gave. So, that’s not the book’s fault.
2. I am learning that the whole “stages of grief” thing is nowhere as simple as books like this try to make it. My experience with grief has been nothing like I would have expected, or like books like this book explained it. It’s actually a pretty outdated idea. This book was first published in 1994, so it’s understandable it still uses this model, but I have found better resources that better reflect my experiences.
3. I was really, really hoping for more doctrinal conversation. There is a little bit, but not enough to actually bring me comfort or really expand my understanding.
Overall, this book was one of the better LDS books on infant loss that I have come across. I appreciate that it doesn’t bring in a lot of other people’s grieving to make a point. I like to hear other people’s stories, but reading about them, for some reason, is just depressing and it feels like the author is trying to minimize my grief.
It’s a good gift for someone who has just lost a child. If nothing else, it shows that you really care and that you understand that losing a pregnancy or full-term baby is a devastating event. I think it would be a great book to read if you want to understand people who have lost pregnancies or infants. There is really helpful advice about how to not put your foot in your mouth.
1. I have been lucky enough to have multiple people who have gone through similar things reach out to me. It has been three months now, and I feel like I have already learned every bit of advice this book gave. So, that’s not the book’s fault.
2. I am learning that the whole “stages of grief” thing is nowhere as simple as books like this try to make it. My experience with grief has been nothing like I would have expected, or like books like this book explained it. It’s actually a pretty outdated idea. This book was first published in 1994, so it’s understandable it still uses this model, but I have found better resources that better reflect my experiences.
3. I was really, really hoping for more doctrinal conversation. There is a little bit, but not enough to actually bring me comfort or really expand my understanding.
Overall, this book was one of the better LDS books on infant loss that I have come across. I appreciate that it doesn’t bring in a lot of other people’s grieving to make a point. I like to hear other people’s stories, but reading about them, for some reason, is just depressing and it feels like the author is trying to minimize my grief.
It’s a good gift for someone who has just lost a child. If nothing else, it shows that you really care and that you understand that losing a pregnancy or full-term baby is a devastating event. I think it would be a great book to read if you want to understand people who have lost pregnancies or infants. There is really helpful advice about how to not put your foot in your mouth.
January 14, 2008
This book is a must-read for anyone who has lost a baby through miscarriage or stillbirth or anyone who knows someone who has lost a baby (which is probably almost everyone!). It is written from an LDS perspective and has some quotes from church leaders and references the scriptures. I especially enjoyed reading the chapter on helping grieving parents. It has a great section on what to say and do and what NOT to say to someone who has lost a baby. I heard both the good things and the bad things after my miscarriage in November 2007. A couple of the things people said to me at that time were very hurtful even though I know they meant well, so I am glad I now know how to help others in similar situations. It also has a nice section on helping children grieve. My daughter had a very difficult time with our loss so the book helped me to help her through her grief.
PS. I received this book from a friend of mine who lost her baby several years ago. She sent it to me after my miscarriage. I was very touched by her thoughtfulness. Thanks, Alli!
PS. I received this book from a friend of mine who lost her baby several years ago. She sent it to me after my miscarriage. I was very touched by her thoughtfulness. Thanks, Alli!
March 14, 2008
This book was touching and helped me to think of the way the gospel and the plan of salvation is designed even for my little family. It had lots of good quotes by prophets and apostles concerning the nature of loss and how every loss is a monumental thing. It also goes in to great detail about the special nature of infants and unborn children who go too soon. A must read for anyone who has had a loss. :)
February 27, 2008
For anyone going through the loss of a baby or child, this book is a must. It was written by a woman who had unanswered questions after a miscarriage from an LDS perspective. It has chapters on grieving for Fathers, children & grandparents. When my baby died almost 9 years ago, this book really comforted me and made me feel of my Heavenly Father's love and concern. I have given this book to several friends going through similar experiences.
June 20, 2008
My doctor's nurse gave me this book when I found out that we'd lost our 20 week baby. It was very reassuring. I especially appreciated the chapter titled "Spiritual Resolution: A Doctrinal Approach." It gave me backup for some of my beliefs.
I would recommend this book to anyone who has lost a baby, either through stillbirth, miscarriage, or shortly after birth.
I would recommend this book to anyone who has lost a baby, either through stillbirth, miscarriage, or shortly after birth.
October 27, 2009
Very helpful, weather you lost a baby or know someone who has. It will help you know what to say (and not say).
August 9, 2023
I think the author does a fantastic job, my only reason for 3 star instead of five is that I just already knew all these things from experiencing the loss of our baby girl at 32 weeks pregnant when she was born stillborn. This was only about 3 weeks ago and though someone gifted me this, I have lived the grief myself these past few weeks. I think this could be a great resource for people trying to know how to help others grieve.
March 4, 2010
This book gives an LDS perspective on how to deal with miscarriage and stillbirth. It is a book I would recommend to anyone who has experienced one, who loves someone experiencing one, or who wants to know how to comfort someone who has experienced one.
It is light on science and heavy on suggestions for emotional and spiritual healing. There is a healthy emphasis on understanding what your mind and heart are going through (and will continue to go through).
I will always remember the woman who loaned me this book after my miscarriage and will forever be grateful to her for bringing it over. It was an absolute lifeline for me.
It is light on science and heavy on suggestions for emotional and spiritual healing. There is a healthy emphasis on understanding what your mind and heart are going through (and will continue to go through).
I will always remember the woman who loaned me this book after my miscarriage and will forever be grateful to her for bringing it over. It was an absolute lifeline for me.
May 22, 2008
I would highly recommend this short book on the life and loss of infants and unborn children - to anyone who has experienced a loss, or any family members of someone who has. This was recommended to me by the OR nurse after miscarrying my last baby, and I'm so grateful she was my nurse! It has great words of comfort and strength, in a Latter-Day Saint perspective. There are many quotes from leaders of the church and scriptures included in the reading that are very comforting. It was so helpful, I may find myself re-reading it.
July 22, 2011
This book took me a year before I could actually read it. I couldn't get past the Preface without crying the whole time. However, it's a quick read. I got through it in a day. It has great information for everyone...those who have lost a baby and those who have a loved one who has lost a baby. I would recomment this book to everyone who has experienced this type of loss, and any who is maybe trying to understand what they can do to help or who want to try to understand a little bit of what those who have had a loss are going through. Very helpful and very good.
August 22, 2012
For obvious reasons I didn't read this book because it was a happy time for me. After having Scott, this book had a lot of insight that I connected with that I wasn't expecting. One thing that I felt so 100% about was how I was hurting so bad BECAUSE I never got to know him. Being 18 weeks pregnant is almost half way and my heart was completely shattered. I needed to read some of the stuff in this book and I'm grateful a friend gave it to me!
December 27, 2012
A quick read that accomplishes what it sets out to in a very acting and effective manner. I would recommend this to anyone trying to understand the situation of child loss and for those experiencing it.
This book is very touching and gives much insight into the heart-wrenching period that accompanies the loss of a child. Not only is the book informative, but there is a good amount of first-hand experiences and writings that capture the true feelings, emotions, and struggles.
This book is very touching and gives much insight into the heart-wrenching period that accompanies the loss of a child. Not only is the book informative, but there is a good amount of first-hand experiences and writings that capture the true feelings, emotions, and struggles.
October 25, 2007
The title on this one pretty much says it all. This book puts into perspective miscarriage, stillbirth, and infant death. It looks at these experiences from the point of view of the LDS Church. It definitely answered a lot of questions for me, as well as ideas for how to help others who go through this.
August 31, 2008
One of the very best books about losing an infant or unborn child. Wittwer doesn't preach; she brings to the surface a very difficult topic from her own personal experience, but focuses on the "getting through" and how people can help those who have experienced a loss. She also deals with the topics of fathers and grandparents--all who are affected by the loss, not just the mother.
July 8, 2009
Our close firend gave this to us, and it was hard to read at first. I put it down many times because I was crying too much to go on. But it also contained clear words of comfort from the scriptures and prophets who share their revelations and personal thoughts on the fate of children who are miscarried, stillborn, or die in childbirth. It helped us through the grieving process.
January 11, 2010
Of course this was read out of necessity on my part. Otherwise it would not have received 5 stars. I thank the author for helping me to at lease verbalize all my confusing feelings and at most gain a much more full understanding of what happened. This book has definitely helped me thought my own experience of loosing my unborn child.
August 23, 2010
I know it sounds like an awful book for most people to read. But if you have ever lost a baby or want to know what goes through the mind of someone who has lost a baby, it is very helpful. It put into words so many of the feelings I have had in the last year and made me feel not so crazy for having them.
January 5, 2012
I would highly recommend this book to anyone dealing with the loss of a baby at any point in pregnancy. It is also good for any family members, grandparents, etc... involved in that grief. Gives a gospel perspective on the meaning and significance of those babies' lives and gives some suggestions on how to cope and understand your grief. Wish I had read it sooner.
January 6, 2012
What a comfort this book has been for my husband and I during this difficult time. It helped answer certain questions we've had about our miscarriage with doctrinal references and quotes from prophets and other church leaders. It is spot on in explaining our feelings and concerns - I highly recommend it.
July 2, 2008
I was so pleased to find a book which explained and gave references for the beliefs I'd grown up with. I have given copies to friends and always highly recommend this book to any who have experienced the loss of a young one.
August 16, 2008
I read this book after losing my son, and it gave me such comfort. Losing a child is the most devastating, difficult experience a person can ever go through. I'm so thankful to have the gospel and to know that I'll get to be with my son again.
August 26, 2009
This was a special read recommended by my current Bishop. I recommend to anyone who has lost a child (stillborn, miscarriage, infant death, etc.) This book puts delicate issues in to perspective. It reconfirmed my beliefs and feelings on this issue.
March 9, 2012
I read this book back after my daughter Jocelyn birth and passing, it really helped in so many ways. The last three chapters are my fav and have them marked up and return to read them often for comfort and reassurance.
February 20, 2013
Such a touching book. The author expresses sentiments and feelings exactly as I have felt them. I would hope you'd never have the need to read a book like this, but if you do, there is comfort found within its pages.
May 11, 2013
Short, sweet book. It was a quick read with a lot of practical ideas. The book includes coping mechanisms specifically designed for those who have lost a baby, but I found that it applies to a lot of different difficult situations. The poetry was also very touching.
February 14, 2008
Great for anyone who's lost a child in any way. Goes through the grieving process and incorporates the gospel of Jesus Christ AND gives you tools to manage your grief.
June 15, 2008
Recommend for any one who has lost a child or has been touched by the loss of a child.
Dedicated to the memory of my nephews A {1999} & I {2007}
Dedicated to the memory of my nephews A {1999} & I {2007}
July 7, 2008
I read this book after my miscarriages. It's helpful for those seeking like experiences from those who've *been there*.
September 17, 2008
I really loved this book. It really helped me work through the death of my son. It may not be for everyone, but it was really helpful for me.
Displaying 1 - 30 of 42 reviews