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Didn't I Tell You to Take Out the Trash: Techniques for Getting Kids to Do Chores Without Hassles
written and told by Jim Fay and Foster W. Cline, M.D.
Jim and Foster share easy-to-implement techniques to help do away with arguments and hassles around getting kids to do their chores.
Jim and Foster share easy-to-implement techniques to help do away with arguments and hassles around getting kids to do their chores.
- GenresParenting
Audio CD
First published January 1, 1996
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Displaying 1 - 9 of 9 reviews
June 20, 2017
Always enjoy more of the Love and Logic education, training, education and support!
July 9, 2011
I found some of the ideas helpful. The overall theme of love and logic is what I'm trying to incorporate into my parenting. I agree with the idea that if you do something right as a parent, you find yourself doing it less, but if you give in or go the lazy route you find yourself repeating it over and over.
With chores, parents can ask if the kids find it agreeable to do x jobs with a given deadline (like sometime by the end of the day, not right this second). If the kids agree, leave it to them entirely and don't remind constantly. Then, if it doesn't get done, the parent can awaken the child at midnight and lovingly remind them of the deal. I am sure this would be very memorable, but I wonder if it would cause resentment. You'd have to involve a huge dose of love, and I'm not ready to try it on my young children. Maybe when they're older.
Another technique is to dock their allowance for skipped chores, or food taken from the fridge if they miss dinner (due to chores not done I think). Docking is also done for refusal to do chores, I believe they said if the parents end up doing it, they charge for it. Allowance in this case is given simply as a money management tool, not related to chores expected for living in the household. I agree with certain chores being not-for-pay, but I think I'd rather have my kids work for any money received, doing extra jobs. It's easy to see the logic in charging for snacks that replace dinner, but it would be hard for me to do it lovingly. And if I did give my kids allowance out of love (minus certain charges), I'd have to go with their suggestion of giving older kids the responsibility to pay for their own clothes and entertainment with that money.
A good tip was to have difficult grown-up chores (rake leaves, paint house, detail car, wash windows types of things) listed on the fridge for the kids to "bid" on for extra money.
Don't forget to be understanding/less demanding when your kids are in high school and have extracurricular activities, sports, homework, jobs outside the home, etc.
One idea for a child who wants a spendy item was to "pledge" an amount. "Sure, I'd like to see you get those $80 basketball shoes. I'll go 20% if you earn the rest."
Overall, I'll be adapting many of the tools to fit my family's situation, and it's good to hear the message behind it all: Consequence your kids to the point that they feel the joy/disappointment/pain of their own actions. Don't do their reasoning for them! If they are learning a lesson, let them learn it without telling them what they are learning.
With chores, parents can ask if the kids find it agreeable to do x jobs with a given deadline (like sometime by the end of the day, not right this second). If the kids agree, leave it to them entirely and don't remind constantly. Then, if it doesn't get done, the parent can awaken the child at midnight and lovingly remind them of the deal. I am sure this would be very memorable, but I wonder if it would cause resentment. You'd have to involve a huge dose of love, and I'm not ready to try it on my young children. Maybe when they're older.
Another technique is to dock their allowance for skipped chores, or food taken from the fridge if they miss dinner (due to chores not done I think). Docking is also done for refusal to do chores, I believe they said if the parents end up doing it, they charge for it. Allowance in this case is given simply as a money management tool, not related to chores expected for living in the household. I agree with certain chores being not-for-pay, but I think I'd rather have my kids work for any money received, doing extra jobs. It's easy to see the logic in charging for snacks that replace dinner, but it would be hard for me to do it lovingly. And if I did give my kids allowance out of love (minus certain charges), I'd have to go with their suggestion of giving older kids the responsibility to pay for their own clothes and entertainment with that money.
A good tip was to have difficult grown-up chores (rake leaves, paint house, detail car, wash windows types of things) listed on the fridge for the kids to "bid" on for extra money.
Don't forget to be understanding/less demanding when your kids are in high school and have extracurricular activities, sports, homework, jobs outside the home, etc.
One idea for a child who wants a spendy item was to "pledge" an amount. "Sure, I'd like to see you get those $80 basketball shoes. I'll go 20% if you earn the rest."
Overall, I'll be adapting many of the tools to fit my family's situation, and it's good to hear the message behind it all: Consequence your kids to the point that they feel the joy/disappointment/pain of their own actions. Don't do their reasoning for them! If they are learning a lesson, let them learn it without telling them what they are learning.
August 15, 2011
Excellent. I've just listened to this on audio cd. I have checked it out at the library
several times and keep it in my car for review. He really does a great job of outlining
ways to handle your kids that work. Most of the time it's just a little tweak to your
way of thinking or to the words you say, but it really works. I'm a fan of parenting
with love and logic and this one is a great little reminder for everyday interaction with
your kids.
several times and keep it in my car for review. He really does a great job of outlining
ways to handle your kids that work. Most of the time it's just a little tweak to your
way of thinking or to the words you say, but it really works. I'm a fan of parenting
with love and logic and this one is a great little reminder for everyday interaction with
your kids.
January 8, 2010
These concepts just make sooooo much sense. I wished I had been parented more with Love and Logic and I hope to do a better a job parenting myself using these no brainer concepts. Why is it that I have to have every senario drawn out for me to get it?
February 19, 2014
I like to read some of the love and logic books every now and then as my kids' needs change. Although he has a lot of great ideas that would help a lot of people, I didn't really find anything I'd use from this since my kids already willingly do their jobs and I liked my own methods better.
March 26, 2008
Allowance? Chores? How to get kids to learn the value of work! Fantastic!!
April 3, 2008
Great CD. I highly recommend the Love and Logic series to anyone with kids.
February 25, 2009
I loved this Audio Cassette---great ideas!
April 5, 2013
Awesome advice for parenting and getting kids to do chores. Only wish it was longer!
Displaying 1 - 9 of 9 reviews