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Get The F*ck Out Your Own Way: A Guide to Letting Go of the Sh*t that’s Holding You Back
It ain’t easy getting your shit together, but this book is the solution. And Tabitha Brown says, “you can trust him.”
MJ Harris has got a lot of “best friends”—over five million to be exact. His hilarious, straightforward, raw advice has made him the go-to person across social media for everything you need to know about getting your shit together.
MJ knows you need help—whether financial, spiritual, or in a relationship—but because you never learned how to properly handle the hurt and anger you’ve experienced in the past, it has become the emotional trash in the way of living your best life. Don’t nobody want that!
Whether it’s fixing your family issues, relationships, situationships, money, or frenemies, MJ offers sage advice about how to stop blocking yourself from bigger and better.
If any of this sounds like you, it’s best you start reading this book now!
This isn’t your gentle guide on breathing or journaling. MJ serves up no holds barred principles on how to navigate your emotions that will help you disrupt cycles of trauma, create boundaries, and transform into a goddess of emotional wholeness. Get the F*ck Out Your Own Way will help you learn how make better decisions that will set you on the right path for a happier emotional life once and for all.
MJ Harris has got a lot of “best friends”—over five million to be exact. His hilarious, straightforward, raw advice has made him the go-to person across social media for everything you need to know about getting your shit together.
MJ knows you need help—whether financial, spiritual, or in a relationship—but because you never learned how to properly handle the hurt and anger you’ve experienced in the past, it has become the emotional trash in the way of living your best life. Don’t nobody want that!
Whether it’s fixing your family issues, relationships, situationships, money, or frenemies, MJ offers sage advice about how to stop blocking yourself from bigger and better.
If any of this sounds like you, it’s best you start reading this book now!
This isn’t your gentle guide on breathing or journaling. MJ serves up no holds barred principles on how to navigate your emotions that will help you disrupt cycles of trauma, create boundaries, and transform into a goddess of emotional wholeness. Get the F*ck Out Your Own Way will help you learn how make better decisions that will set you on the right path for a happier emotional life once and for all.
304 pages, Hardcover
Published January 9, 2024
41 people are currently reading
284 people want to read
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Displaying 1 - 30 of 34 reviews
August 27, 2023
I received a copy of this book in exchange for my honest feedback. Thank you NetGalley.
This is a self-help book but with a... comical spin at times.
I'm not a huge fan of self-help books typically. Most of the time it feels like i'm being talked down in a way. and while they're all mostly relatable in some way, it just doesn't' usually hit home for me or isn't enjoyable to read.
This one felt a little different. I actually enjoyed reading it, found some helpful tips, and wouold definitely recommend it to others.
This is a self-help book but with a... comical spin at times.
I'm not a huge fan of self-help books typically. Most of the time it feels like i'm being talked down in a way. and while they're all mostly relatable in some way, it just doesn't' usually hit home for me or isn't enjoyable to read.
This one felt a little different. I actually enjoyed reading it, found some helpful tips, and wouold definitely recommend it to others.
November 4, 2023
Thank you to Netgalley, MJ Harris, and Legacy Lit for a free eARC of this book in exchange for my personal opinion.
Move over Dave Goggins there's a new sherif in town. Anyone who has cooked me long enough KNOWS I'm a Dave Goggins STAN! but this book..... this author.... whew! OUT OF THE GATE this book had me looking at my life like, "What can I change right now at 1204 in the morning?!" This book was so real and so raw and so motivating! All because of something the mother of this author said, this wonderful book was written and put out.
This book takes a no holds bar approach to addressing things in your life that need to be changed that you have put yourself in the way of. Get out of your own way is the message that I got. And it has some truths in it, where you just have to sit and feel what the words are saying because those feelings are there for a reason. It's one of the books that I have read that really makes me take a step back and sit in my feelings and process the feelings that I'm feeling and slow down.
There's so many authors who writes up Health books and I feel like maybe they've never really gone through anything like what I've gone through. This was not that book. I felt seen, I felt heard, and I felt like there were pieces that really put me at a dead stop and made me think about what I had just read.
If I could rate this book 10/10 I would. But I can't, so 5/5 it is!
Move over Dave Goggins there's a new sherif in town. Anyone who has cooked me long enough KNOWS I'm a Dave Goggins STAN! but this book..... this author.... whew! OUT OF THE GATE this book had me looking at my life like, "What can I change right now at 1204 in the morning?!" This book was so real and so raw and so motivating! All because of something the mother of this author said, this wonderful book was written and put out.
This book takes a no holds bar approach to addressing things in your life that need to be changed that you have put yourself in the way of. Get out of your own way is the message that I got. And it has some truths in it, where you just have to sit and feel what the words are saying because those feelings are there for a reason. It's one of the books that I have read that really makes me take a step back and sit in my feelings and process the feelings that I'm feeling and slow down.
There's so many authors who writes up Health books and I feel like maybe they've never really gone through anything like what I've gone through. This was not that book. I felt seen, I felt heard, and I felt like there were pieces that really put me at a dead stop and made me think about what I had just read.
If I could rate this book 10/10 I would. But I can't, so 5/5 it is!
July 12, 2023
"Get The Fck Out Your Own Way: A Guide to Letting Go of the Sht that's Holding You Back" is a bold and empowering self-help book that aims to guide readers towards personal growth and overcoming the obstacles that hinder their progress. Written with a no-nonsense attitude, this book by author and self-help expert is intended to help individuals break free from the limitations they impose upon themselves.
The title itself sets the tone for the book, indicating that it will deliver its message in a straightforward and direct manner. The author's intention is to encourage readers to confront the negative patterns, beliefs, and behaviors that hold them back from living their best lives.
The book explores various aspects of self-sabotage and provides practical strategies and advice for letting go of these self-imposed limitations. It offers insights into identifying the root causes of self-sabotaging behavior and provides tools and exercises to challenge and change these patterns.
One of the strengths of "Get The F*ck Out Your Own Way" is its no-holds-barred approach. The author uses strong language and a confrontational style to grab readers' attention and inspire them to take action. This unapologetic tone may resonate with those who are tired of sugar-coated advice and prefer a more direct approach to self-improvement.
The book addresses a wide range of obstacles, including fear, self-doubt, perfectionism, negative self-talk, and limiting beliefs. It provides practical steps and strategies to help readers overcome these barriers and cultivate a more positive and empowered mindset.
In addition to the practical advice, the book also incorporates personal anecdotes and stories, making it relatable and engaging. These real-life examples add depth and authenticity to the book, illustrating how the author's principles and strategies have been successfully applied in real-world situations.
While the book's direct and explicit language may resonate with some readers, it's important to note that it may not appeal to everyone. Some individuals may find the language off-putting or find the confrontational style too intense for their taste.
Overall, "Get The F*ck Out Your Own Way" is a no-nonsense self-help book that encourages readers to confront and overcome the obstacles that hinder their personal growth. It provides practical advice, exercises, and strategies for letting go of self-sabotage and cultivating a more positive mindset. If you are open to a direct and confrontational approach to self-improvement, this book may provide the motivation and tools you need to break free from your limitations and create a more fulfilling life.
The title itself sets the tone for the book, indicating that it will deliver its message in a straightforward and direct manner. The author's intention is to encourage readers to confront the negative patterns, beliefs, and behaviors that hold them back from living their best lives.
The book explores various aspects of self-sabotage and provides practical strategies and advice for letting go of these self-imposed limitations. It offers insights into identifying the root causes of self-sabotaging behavior and provides tools and exercises to challenge and change these patterns.
One of the strengths of "Get The F*ck Out Your Own Way" is its no-holds-barred approach. The author uses strong language and a confrontational style to grab readers' attention and inspire them to take action. This unapologetic tone may resonate with those who are tired of sugar-coated advice and prefer a more direct approach to self-improvement.
The book addresses a wide range of obstacles, including fear, self-doubt, perfectionism, negative self-talk, and limiting beliefs. It provides practical steps and strategies to help readers overcome these barriers and cultivate a more positive and empowered mindset.
In addition to the practical advice, the book also incorporates personal anecdotes and stories, making it relatable and engaging. These real-life examples add depth and authenticity to the book, illustrating how the author's principles and strategies have been successfully applied in real-world situations.
While the book's direct and explicit language may resonate with some readers, it's important to note that it may not appeal to everyone. Some individuals may find the language off-putting or find the confrontational style too intense for their taste.
Overall, "Get The F*ck Out Your Own Way" is a no-nonsense self-help book that encourages readers to confront and overcome the obstacles that hinder their personal growth. It provides practical advice, exercises, and strategies for letting go of self-sabotage and cultivating a more positive mindset. If you are open to a direct and confrontational approach to self-improvement, this book may provide the motivation and tools you need to break free from your limitations and create a more fulfilling life.
February 21, 2024
What an amazing self help book! It’s so raw and relatable. It’s a must read
February 12, 2025
Definitely put me in my place and made me reflect on the ways I limit myself.
May 16, 2024
MJ is a beautiful soul and has the best content in social media. His doing the personal work and living the life as a black gay man is astonishing. I appreciate him sharing his life and writing this awesome book!
January 9, 2024
Before I begin, I would like to have a moment of full transparency. Although I appreciate a self-help book from this author, I selfishly wish he would have written a memoir.
⠀
Now with that said, on to my review….
⠀
The title of this book fits Mj’s personality perfectly. It was no surprise to me that he came out guns-a-blazen with such a bold title. I’m accustomed to MJ’s brazen personality. I’ve seen some of his videos on social media.
What makes this self-help book unique from other self-help books I’ve read, is that it offers advice on a combination of subjects. It’s about relationships, personal growth and finances. I enjoyed the mixture of topics. The diversity created a good level of unpredictability in the reading.
⠀
However, I do think this book is missing a key element. And that is, a background information about MJ. It would have been nice to have a quick overview of his life. If you haven’t had the opportunity to watch him on social media, and you purchased this book, you will have no idea who he is. Now, for those of you that don’t know, MJ Harris is a very successful, proud gay man that gives relationship advice to women. And while he uses some personal stories as examples for the reader to get a better understanding of his message, he doesn’t provide a concise summary of his journey. It would have been nice to learn more about him.
⠀
While most of this book is filled with typical “self-help” topics such as toxic relationships, abandonment issues, people pleasing, etc. There are also some topics I had never heard of until now such as, financial self abuse, financial survivors guilt and financial imposter syndrome. I’ve heard of these terms, but not from a financial perspective.
There’s a chapter where in which MJ discuss communication patterns which includes texting styles. This man made my entire day when he explained why it’s ok to not respond to text messages right away. I am very guilty of taking hours to respond to text messages. Now I understand why it takes me so long. And after reading this book, I will no longer feel guilty about it🤷🏽♀️.
I must say, I didn’t agree with everything MJ had to say. I strongly disagreed with some of his comments pertaining to masculine and feminine energy. MJ shares the story of a woman who wanted to know if her man was gay. This woman found a video of her man with another man. The video had been taken 20 years ago. MJ’s response was the following:
“Honey, I understand why a video like that would concern you. But listen. That shit was 20 years ago! Why are you digging it up now and whooping all over it? We all have attractions that go beyond the scope of what our partner’s physical identity is. So no, your man isn’t suddenly gay or bi because you saw this and that on his Instagram or because he did this one sexual act twenty-something years ago! Stop focusing on what makes men’s dicks hard and focus on whether or not he’s faithful to you”.
😳🤯😮 Whaaattt!!! I totally disagree! There is no way I would peacefully, securely and happily lay next to my man each night knowing he had a sexual encounter with another man at any point in his life! Nope! No way! Wrong answer MJ🤦🏽♀️.
The chapter that resonated with me most was chapter 18, 𝘐𝘵’𝘴 𝘖𝘬𝘢𝘺 𝘵𝘰 𝘗𝘳𝘰𝘵𝘦𝘤𝘵 𝘠𝘰𝘶𝘳𝘴𝘦𝘭𝘧. This chapter felt like it was written personally for me. It’s all about setting boundaries with toxic people. I highlighted damn near the entire chapter. Although there was good information throughout the book, it was this chapter that took this book from 4 to 5⭐️s for me.
⠀
Special thanks to Legacy Lit for gifting me an advance finished copy in exchange for an honest review.
⠀
Now with that said, on to my review….
⠀
The title of this book fits Mj’s personality perfectly. It was no surprise to me that he came out guns-a-blazen with such a bold title. I’m accustomed to MJ’s brazen personality. I’ve seen some of his videos on social media.
What makes this self-help book unique from other self-help books I’ve read, is that it offers advice on a combination of subjects. It’s about relationships, personal growth and finances. I enjoyed the mixture of topics. The diversity created a good level of unpredictability in the reading.
⠀
However, I do think this book is missing a key element. And that is, a background information about MJ. It would have been nice to have a quick overview of his life. If you haven’t had the opportunity to watch him on social media, and you purchased this book, you will have no idea who he is. Now, for those of you that don’t know, MJ Harris is a very successful, proud gay man that gives relationship advice to women. And while he uses some personal stories as examples for the reader to get a better understanding of his message, he doesn’t provide a concise summary of his journey. It would have been nice to learn more about him.
⠀
While most of this book is filled with typical “self-help” topics such as toxic relationships, abandonment issues, people pleasing, etc. There are also some topics I had never heard of until now such as, financial self abuse, financial survivors guilt and financial imposter syndrome. I’ve heard of these terms, but not from a financial perspective.
There’s a chapter where in which MJ discuss communication patterns which includes texting styles. This man made my entire day when he explained why it’s ok to not respond to text messages right away. I am very guilty of taking hours to respond to text messages. Now I understand why it takes me so long. And after reading this book, I will no longer feel guilty about it🤷🏽♀️.
I must say, I didn’t agree with everything MJ had to say. I strongly disagreed with some of his comments pertaining to masculine and feminine energy. MJ shares the story of a woman who wanted to know if her man was gay. This woman found a video of her man with another man. The video had been taken 20 years ago. MJ’s response was the following:
“Honey, I understand why a video like that would concern you. But listen. That shit was 20 years ago! Why are you digging it up now and whooping all over it? We all have attractions that go beyond the scope of what our partner’s physical identity is. So no, your man isn’t suddenly gay or bi because you saw this and that on his Instagram or because he did this one sexual act twenty-something years ago! Stop focusing on what makes men’s dicks hard and focus on whether or not he’s faithful to you”.
😳🤯😮 Whaaattt!!! I totally disagree! There is no way I would peacefully, securely and happily lay next to my man each night knowing he had a sexual encounter with another man at any point in his life! Nope! No way! Wrong answer MJ🤦🏽♀️.
The chapter that resonated with me most was chapter 18, 𝘐𝘵’𝘴 𝘖𝘬𝘢𝘺 𝘵𝘰 𝘗𝘳𝘰𝘵𝘦𝘤𝘵 𝘠𝘰𝘶𝘳𝘴𝘦𝘭𝘧. This chapter felt like it was written personally for me. It’s all about setting boundaries with toxic people. I highlighted damn near the entire chapter. Although there was good information throughout the book, it was this chapter that took this book from 4 to 5⭐️s for me.
⠀
Special thanks to Legacy Lit for gifting me an advance finished copy in exchange for an honest review.
January 13, 2024
You know how you have maybe one friend that is going to tell you the truth, even though it would upset you? Maybe they yell at you. Maybe they hurt your feelings (not with intention, but because they are not going to stand for you lying to yourself about things anymore).
That's this. In a book.
In the world of self-help, we're all looking for a silver bullet that will tell us (FINALLY) how to get over our own hangups and get to what matters: getting the most out of life.
Where they fail (and this didn't) is that they're telling us the same stuff. Over and over again. However, this book yells it.
If that's what you need, this book has it.
Solid 4.6!
That's this. In a book.
In the world of self-help, we're all looking for a silver bullet that will tell us (FINALLY) how to get over our own hangups and get to what matters: getting the most out of life.
Where they fail (and this didn't) is that they're telling us the same stuff. Over and over again. However, this book yells it.
If that's what you need, this book has it.
Solid 4.6!
January 19, 2024
Well written book offering advice on how to make the most of your life by getting the f*ck out of your own way. Chapters include owning your mistakes and past behaviors, knowing your worth, quitting being a people pleaser to abusive/energy sucking people who drain you, how to handle rejection, how to quit passive aggressive behavior and using silent treatment to hurt others, how to tell if you're the asshole, etc.
The author makes a lot of good sense. This book can help a lot of people to evaluate their life, the good and the bad, and how to make changes for the better - if they want to.
Almost everyone could use help in making their relationships and life better.
The author makes a lot of good sense. This book can help a lot of people to evaluate their life, the good and the bad, and how to make changes for the better - if they want to.
Almost everyone could use help in making their relationships and life better.
December 5, 2023
MJ Harris is my brother and my best friend in my head. I became aware of this first-time author through his vibrant social media platform. This man has been motivating, encouraging and cheerleading us for years now and it was about time that he put those nuggets into a book for us! This book was easy to read. There is a ton of good advice in the book and plenty that applied to me personally. It definitely had me thinking more about my patterns and how I view myself. #netgalley #getthef*ckoutyourownway
February 2, 2024
I did this as an audio book on my commute to and from work. Overall, I enjoyed it. The author is very charismatic and had a lot of good things to say. I definitely got a lot of good take aways from it. The goal is to put into action now what I have learned. There were a few points that I may have wrinkles my nose and a time or two I may have questioned if I should be reading this book (because statements were geared towards a specific group). But like I said, overall, it was a good book and the author is great.
June 6, 2024
Generational trauma, healthy boundaries, codependency, saying "no", know your own worth vs people pleasing, stuck in a cycle of fear, chasing people - rejection vs abandonment, loneliness, we are all both feminine and masculine, you are enough.
I thought this book was quite good. Some chapters appealed to me more than others.
Which I think would be normal, because you see your "issues" or "needs" in which chapters are about you. I think I'm going to follow him now on IG and see what other words of wisdom he has. I like how he explained most each chapter/issue.
Would recommend!
I thought this book was quite good. Some chapters appealed to me more than others.
Which I think would be normal, because you see your "issues" or "needs" in which chapters are about you. I think I'm going to follow him now on IG and see what other words of wisdom he has. I like how he explained most each chapter/issue.
Would recommend!
November 20, 2023
I requested this book on NetGalley because I love a good motivational self-help book. I knew absolutely nothing about the author beforehand so the book was my first introduction to MJ Harris. There is a ton of good advice in the book and plenty that applied to me personally. It definitely had me thinking more about my patterns and how I view myself. I loved it and can't wait to see what else MJ Harris has available.
January 26, 2024
Thank you Netgalley!
I am not normally a 'self help' reader but I wanted to try something new and as someone with a sailor's mouth: this spoke to me.
Some of these chapters are definitely far outside of my wheelhouse, and some of the focus on money is just not my thing. I don't know if the majority of the book is anything revolutionary. But the chapters "Core Competency", "Am I an asshole" and "You are Enough" just absolutely hit it out of the park. So this is a solid 3 stars for me
I am not normally a 'self help' reader but I wanted to try something new and as someone with a sailor's mouth: this spoke to me.
Some of these chapters are definitely far outside of my wheelhouse, and some of the focus on money is just not my thing. I don't know if the majority of the book is anything revolutionary. But the chapters "Core Competency", "Am I an asshole" and "You are Enough" just absolutely hit it out of the park. So this is a solid 3 stars for me
February 7, 2024
Whew you want someone to tell you how it is without sugarcoating it? This is your book! I saw this book and went & followed Mj Harris on TikTok immediately. I knew what I was getting into before I read the first page. Mj tells you how to strip away the bullsh!t and get to the root of the issue.
Not all the chapters were for me and that’s ok. The no nonsense tone of the book really resonated with me.
Not all the chapters were for me and that’s ok. The no nonsense tone of the book really resonated with me.
July 28, 2023
I liked this, but didn't love. The advice was sound and I liked the straightforwardness of it all. No beating around the bush, no hugs through the page, just flat out telling you that you need to make and enforce some boundaries even if you don't really want to because it's hard to. That resonates with me and my personality, so I liked the book's approach.
Where I thought there could be improvements would be with the lack of connection to MJ Harris. I personally don't know who he is and think that if in the introduction he talked more about his life and give a little biography that would have greatly enhanced the book. Then the anecdotes later would have hit a bit more firmly. Maybe the assumption is everyone reading is familiar with him, but as someone who was not it took me a quarter of the book to get an understanding of who exactly he was.
And this is just a nitpick, but WAY TOO MANY words were italicized. To the point it was becoming infuritating. I get a few sentences here and there, to highlight an important point. I get every few paragraphs having a single word in a sentence to demonstrate how that word is important. But LITERALLY every other sentence had a word that was italicized. While it helped me more easily connect to the tone of voice Harris was writing it, it slowed down my ability to read quickly and also was just annoying and unnecessary. Maybe this is a personal gripe and it won't annoy anyone else, but it felt wildly overused.
Where I thought there could be improvements would be with the lack of connection to MJ Harris. I personally don't know who he is and think that if in the introduction he talked more about his life and give a little biography that would have greatly enhanced the book. Then the anecdotes later would have hit a bit more firmly. Maybe the assumption is everyone reading is familiar with him, but as someone who was not it took me a quarter of the book to get an understanding of who exactly he was.
And this is just a nitpick, but WAY TOO MANY words were italicized. To the point it was becoming infuritating. I get a few sentences here and there, to highlight an important point. I get every few paragraphs having a single word in a sentence to demonstrate how that word is important. But LITERALLY every other sentence had a word that was italicized. While it helped me more easily connect to the tone of voice Harris was writing it, it slowed down my ability to read quickly and also was just annoying and unnecessary. Maybe this is a personal gripe and it won't annoy anyone else, but it felt wildly overused.
March 24, 2024
*Rejection is Protection
*When you give someone something they don't deserve, they undervalue your gift
*You are responsible for your own happiness
These are just the tip of the iceberg of what MJ Harris has to offer. Raw, inspiring and exciting, this book will guide you to living your truth without boundaries or fear.
*When you give someone something they don't deserve, they undervalue your gift
*You are responsible for your own happiness
These are just the tip of the iceberg of what MJ Harris has to offer. Raw, inspiring and exciting, this book will guide you to living your truth without boundaries or fear.
January 17, 2026
This is sooo damn good! M.J. offers so much practical advice on handling and processing difficult times, people and situations and, most importantly, makes you feel empowered to take accountability for your own stuff and not fall into the trap of victim mentality.
Thank you, M.J., for so much honesty, vulnerability and helpful advice!
Thank you, M.J., for so much honesty, vulnerability and helpful advice!
March 11, 2024
Started off really insightful and engaging with good tips. Then about 75% in he started to go off on tangents where I was scratching my head thinking WTF you talking about? A little too preachy and over emphasized too many words. Aka annoying.
April 22, 2024
An all-around enjoyable listen full of gems of wisdom and insight. I can say that I learned something from each chapter, even when the specific circumstances didn't apply to me. I've learned about myself and some of my limiting patterns of behavior from MJ Harris, coupled with some good laughs. 🙂
January 15, 2025
I truly missed something in this book. Instead of feeling inspired and driven I felt like the author gave trite and thin ideas. There was a lot of repeating the same stuff over and over again there was use of profanity just to be shocking not helpful and I didn’t find him to be an expert in much
September 6, 2025
If I could give this more than 5 stars I would. I highly enjoyed the author narrating the audiobook and found this books very helpful. There is a lot to take in, so I will be rereading in the near future.
September 16, 2025
Excellent read !! I may have to buy this paperback. Very strong and motivating book it helps you breakdown your way of thinking especially through life changes and reassures you are OK. I loved it very much.
February 6, 2024
Definitely gotta reread later because there is so much useful information and guiding for someone like me.
Every page kept my attention because I was able to relate to everything.
Every page kept my attention because I was able to relate to everything.
March 11, 2024
Mj always makes me smile and takes me to church
April 18, 2024
Love the way it was written, the way the questions were posed and the author shared their experiences. For me there were several *very* helpful points to question myself on and get out of my own way.
May 3, 2024
Lots of good points in this book that I chose as an audiobook. Very inspiring!
July 14, 2024
Very down to earth, realistic and inspiring for self-growth
This entire review has been hidden because of spoilers.
August 1, 2024
It isn’t anything revolutionary if you’ve been to therapy enough, but I def took a couple of lessons out of it.
Fun and light.
Fun and light.
September 14, 2024
By far THE BEST BOOK I'VE EVER READ! Mj kept it real throughout the book and made valid points. I was able to walk away with key take aways to help my life. Thank u
Displaying 1 - 30 of 34 reviews