Unseen, Unheard, Undervalued

by Janina Scarlet

Have you ever felt like you're shouting into the void for someone to just see you and to acknowledge that you exist, that you have value, that you are loved?

That feeling-like no one can really see who you are, like no one really gets it, that's loneliness. The truth is everyone feels lonely. It is a universal emotion, one we all experience at one point or another, but we have also been made to feel ashamed, oppressed and stigmatised about experiencing it.

Being seen means that someone notices you and includes you. Being heard means to be listened to without interruption, gaslighting or invalidation, but rather with compassion and understanding. Being valued means being respected and treated with compassion and kindness. When all three of these needs are met, we experience a sense of belonging. Human beings need more than access to food, sleep and water to survive. We also need to feel that sense of belonging, understanding and support.

This book will help you reduce your shame around loneliness, to help you manage it, and to foster a sense of belonging. It will help you identify how loneliness may show up in your own life, understand how it impacts you, and help you discover some actionable steps you can take in order to feel seen, heard and valued. You deserve nothing less.

Genres: Psychology, Nonfiction, Self Help, Personal Development, Health, Lifestyle

336 pages, Paperback

Published September 14, 2023

About the author

Dr. Janina Scarlet is a psychologist, author of 18 books, and a TEDx speaker. She is also the Founding Director of Divine Feminine Publishing. A Ukrainian-born refugee, she survived Chernobyl radiation and persecution. She immigrated to the United States at the age of 12 with her family and later, inspired by the X-Men, developed Superhero Therapy to help patients with anxiety, depression, and PTSD. Dr. Scarlet is the recipient of the Eleanor Roosevelt Human Rights Award by the United Nations Association for her work on Superhero Therapy.
Her work has been featured on Yahoo, BBC, NPR, Sunday Times, The New York Times, Forbes, and many other outlets. She regularly consults on books and television shows, including HBO’s The Young Justice. She was also interviewed
for Marvel’s MPower series and was portrayed as a comic book character in Gail Simone’s Seven Days graphic novel.

Reviews

[Evgeniya Korsak · Rating 5 out of 5]

Insightful, wise, compassionate, soothing, supportive and highly relatable. This book is everything you might expect from a self-help book. Some of the advice is quite relevant and it helped me to reconsider some parts of my life. If you feel that sometimes you don’t belong and it overwhelms you, this book is for you.

[Ari Chand · Rating 4 out of 5]

This book reframes loneliness as a deeply human experience rather than a personal shortcoming, and something we all collectively experience. That we are all wired for connection and just want to be recognised and valued by those around us. Blending psychological research, therapeutic insight, and reflective exercises, the book aims to help readers understand loneliness in the micro and macro. Scarlet acknowledges that social inequalities, discrimination, and cultural expectations can contribute to feelings of invisibility or exclusion, an insight likely to resonate with readers who have experienced such marginalisation. She explains how explaining how experiences such as trauma, rejection, marginalisation, and significant life transitions can intensify feelings of isolation. Requesting that readers ground themselves and re-understand how they work to navigate both the story we tell about ourselves. Rather than being a victim of our own miscommunication and inability to explain to others what we need (guilty as charged…), but clear about how we set comprehensive boundaries in the way we want to be treated so that others clearly know and understand us. Whilst there isn’t a lot that is groundbreaking in this book for the self-help or personal development reader, it does nicely pace the ideas well through the book, with a thoughtful and accessible tone as if listening to a concerned friend. She explores how people may come to believe they are fundamentally “too different,” “too much,” or “not enough,” beliefs that reinforce cycles of withdrawal and disconnection. Rather than offering narrow solutions, the exercises encourage self-reflection and gradual shifts in perspective.

[Bonnie Edelenbos · Rating 4 out of 5]

A helpful book about how to deal with loneliness. Some good tips!

[Ashley Preim · Rating 5 out of 5]

A book that’s like a warm hug. I’m going to get a physical copy to take notes and try out the exercises ☺️