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The Crying Room
The Crying Room movingly explores family boundaries and stories, finding original ways to express the contradictory experience of belonging to a family, and being an individual at the same time.
When Bernie Rodgers and her husband move to the coastal town of Ballina, she finds that there is more than a physical distance separating her from her adult daughters. Bernie loves her daughters, but the problem she realises is with the way she loved them.
Bernie’s daughter Susie is professionally successful, but her feelings remain distant, even to herself. When she takes on the responsibility for caring for her niece, the pieces of her life finally snap into place. The inexplicable disappearance of an aeroplane though, plunges her life into mystery once again.
Morally acute and dazzlingly accomplished, this is an affecting novel about loneliness, love, family and the need to feel.
When Bernie Rodgers and her husband move to the coastal town of Ballina, she finds that there is more than a physical distance separating her from her adult daughters. Bernie loves her daughters, but the problem she realises is with the way she loved them.
Bernie’s daughter Susie is professionally successful, but her feelings remain distant, even to herself. When she takes on the responsibility for caring for her niece, the pieces of her life finally snap into place. The inexplicable disappearance of an aeroplane though, plunges her life into mystery once again.
Morally acute and dazzlingly accomplished, this is an affecting novel about loneliness, love, family and the need to feel.
- GenresFictionLiterary Fiction
246 pages, Paperback
First published July 1, 2023
6 people are currently reading
184 people want to read
About the author
Gretchen Shirm
8 books14 followersGretchen Shirm is a writer and lawyer. She has been published in The Best Australian Stories, Etchings, Wet Ink, and Southerly. She was named one of the Sydney Morning Herald's Best Young Australian Novelists for her collection, Having Cried Wolf. Her new novel, Where the Light Falls (Allen & Unwin), follows a photographer's efforts to understand his former girlfriend's death.
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Displaying 1 - 21 of 21 reviews
July 2, 2023
The cover on this novel is beautiful. It’s such a simple, yet striking design, it really draws the eye. The novel within more than measures up to its beautiful cover. Although, I feel like calling this a novel is not entirely accurate; it is, but it also isn’t. Each chapter is like a short story, yet all of the stories are connected within the overall story about the Rodgers family. We dip in and out of the lives of the family members, and the chapters aren’t all in chronological order, yet they all make perfect sense and link to each other.
‘She found herself out in the old chicken coop. It was strange how it still smelled of chickens, even though they hadn’t lived there for more than a decade. Inside she saw the curved white bones of the calf Bernie had tried to save; Bernie wouldn’t let Susie’s father remove it, even after it began to rot. The shape of its skeleton reminded Susie of a whale. The bones were so white, they seemed to glow in the dark. She dug a little hole beneath them and planted the apple tree under the rib cage, leaving it to grow where the heart should have been.’
I found that passage so immensely moving and beautiful, it brought me to tears; tears that promptly returned when later in the novel, I got to this passage, in a chapter set much after the passage above:
‘As she walked towards the car, she noticed an apple tree in the yard. The tree had broken through the roof of an old chicken coop and was spilling fruit onto the ground around it. The apples on its branches were small and green, and those beneath the tree were turning brown.’
There was something so profoundly moving about this apple tree, the fruit of which features in another chapter again, that I found so beautiful. This novel is a slow build, it draws you in and before you know it, you’re addicted to reading it and can’t help this welling of emotion that sits within you as the story unfolds.
I thoroughly enjoyed this novel and adore the way Gretchen Shirm writes. Highly recommended for lovers of character driven literary fiction.
Thanks to the publisher for the review copy.
‘She found herself out in the old chicken coop. It was strange how it still smelled of chickens, even though they hadn’t lived there for more than a decade. Inside she saw the curved white bones of the calf Bernie had tried to save; Bernie wouldn’t let Susie’s father remove it, even after it began to rot. The shape of its skeleton reminded Susie of a whale. The bones were so white, they seemed to glow in the dark. She dug a little hole beneath them and planted the apple tree under the rib cage, leaving it to grow where the heart should have been.’
I found that passage so immensely moving and beautiful, it brought me to tears; tears that promptly returned when later in the novel, I got to this passage, in a chapter set much after the passage above:
‘As she walked towards the car, she noticed an apple tree in the yard. The tree had broken through the roof of an old chicken coop and was spilling fruit onto the ground around it. The apples on its branches were small and green, and those beneath the tree were turning brown.’
There was something so profoundly moving about this apple tree, the fruit of which features in another chapter again, that I found so beautiful. This novel is a slow build, it draws you in and before you know it, you’re addicted to reading it and can’t help this welling of emotion that sits within you as the story unfolds.
I thoroughly enjoyed this novel and adore the way Gretchen Shirm writes. Highly recommended for lovers of character driven literary fiction.
Thanks to the publisher for the review copy.
September 23, 2024
Beautifully written linked stories about three generations of women. Highly recommended *****
September 17, 2023
I really liked this book and I'm not even sure why. It was a mixed up collection of stories from different members of a family. Just great writing, I guess.
November 13, 2023
Enjoyed how the characters were written but got confused with the timeline about halfway through.
Was an easy read after I hadn’t read a book for a few months.
Was an easy read after I hadn’t read a book for a few months.
December 23, 2024
This was slow, and quiet, and melancholic, and just lovely. Quite lit fic in a good way? Probably a 4.5 rather than an unequivocal 5 stars, if we're being pedantic.
June 4, 2024
3.5-4 stars. stunning language employed without. gorgeous subtleties and nuances. complex yet simple. while the book goes in so many directions, i appreciated the way it interwove intergenerational tales or trauma and womanhood.
July 20, 2023
If anything in this review raises issues for you, help is available at Beyond Blue.
The Crying Room is Gretchen Shirm's second novel: you can read my review of Where the Light Falls (2016) here. The novels share similar preoccupations: failures of communication, mismatched personalities and an enigmatic disappearance that leaves damaged people in its wake. But though both novels are quiet, reflective meditations that reveal the inner worlds of introspective characters, The Crying Room begins with a striking evocation of the commodification of grief in our time.
The Crying Room is literally, just that. Susie, who cries easily, is employed to monitor people who use it, who come in to shed their tears and then leave. She intervenes only if someone comes in on three consecutive days because it is her job to determine whether or not these recurrent visitors would benefit from counselling sessions. There is a questionnaire to be completed, and a list of recommended counsellors. They are not allowed to listen to their stories, or offer comfort. Their responsibility ends when the person departs with the list in hand. They are not trained psychologists, because it costs less to pay people who are not qualified.
Susie does not depart from the script even when a bereaved woman departs from the rules:
'She was such a good friend,' the woman said. 'You know, one of those people in your life you could say anything to?' And she looked up at Susie, and Susie could tell she wanted her to respond, to give some indication that she understood how she felt. But Susie had no words to offer her, even though she could tell that they were all she wanted: kind words to pass from Susie to her, a sentence carefully aligned like a row of buttons covered in silk.
Instead, Susie reverted to what she'd been taught in her training. And so, what Susie told her was that she thought she would benefit from counselling. Susie pushed the piece of paper across the desk, the one with the names of the psychologists printed alphabetically. (p.10)
Ashen, the woman leaves, and Susie knows that she doesn't feel consoled, she feels reprimanded. The woman has been singled out because her grief didn't follow a predetermined sequence, and sent on her way with what we know is a recipe for hours on a phone hearing about waiting lists...
To read the rest of my review please visit https://anzlitlovers.com/2023/07/21/t...
August 7, 2023
The Crying Room by Australian author Gretchen Shirm is a powerful emotionally moving story of family drama, hope and life.
Enter the Rodgers family as we burrow into the lives of four women: Bernie Rodgers, her daughters, Susie and Allison, and Allison’s daughter, Monica. Different lives, different age groups, and different personalities weaving their way through life.
Bernie and her husband David moved from Sydney to a small coastal town, Ballina. For at least ten years Bernie had occupied the thought of leaving him but now she sees it as the thing that keeps them together grafted as one. With money left over from selling their house David bought into a partnership of a small legal practice in the main street. Bernie’s days were free, but her thoughts consumed them, feeling distance from her daughters and the looming allegation against David.
Susie works at the crying room located near Kings Cross Station, Sydney. The room runs mostly by donations and Government grants, open to all levels of society that need a safe space. After working at the crying room Susie’s own feelings and sadness changed within herself which was quite different from when she cried in the interview.
Allison is straightforward and driven in life, one would think she had lofty standards which is the reason her daughter Monica had lied to her parents when she moved to Melbourne. She was studying a degree in creative writing and being so far away they would never find out. Monica cared deeply and loved writing; she only wished Allison would feel the same about her. Why was t so hard to have a problem with love?
The plot is engaging and paced with great skill, moving between characters’ individual stories to expertly keep the reader always engaged. At first, it was difficult to see where each chapter would fit as there is such disconnection but overall, the book came together and fitted into one whole story.
The narrative is excellent, it features powerfully descriptive and emotionally insightful passages. The themes are intelligently woven into the story and there is a striking balance when it comes to character, setting, and plot. This is an absorbing story that entertains and informs readers, inviting them to walk the path of love, compassion, and patience
Shirm ‘s is an author that knows how to create compelling characters, with real problems and real-life situations to solve them. You come to understand their feelings and dreams and it embraces the finest of human values.
I found this book about all the essential elements that make up a family, touching on both the good and the terrible things that go on. I cried, I laughed, I smiled, I could not put down this book. It is a true to life fictional story of any family and the obstacles they face. Anyone who reads this may be able to identify with parts of the story, this is not just a novel; it is a real-life lesson and a gift that many would benefit from reading.
I loved the cover of the book; it is visually attractive with a nice shimmer to the print when in light. I love designs you find an emotional connection with.
I highly recommend The Crying Room to those that love literary fiction, you will not be disappointed.
Thank you, Beauty and Lace and Transit Lounge for the opportunity to read and review.
Enter the Rodgers family as we burrow into the lives of four women: Bernie Rodgers, her daughters, Susie and Allison, and Allison’s daughter, Monica. Different lives, different age groups, and different personalities weaving their way through life.
Bernie and her husband David moved from Sydney to a small coastal town, Ballina. For at least ten years Bernie had occupied the thought of leaving him but now she sees it as the thing that keeps them together grafted as one. With money left over from selling their house David bought into a partnership of a small legal practice in the main street. Bernie’s days were free, but her thoughts consumed them, feeling distance from her daughters and the looming allegation against David.
Susie works at the crying room located near Kings Cross Station, Sydney. The room runs mostly by donations and Government grants, open to all levels of society that need a safe space. After working at the crying room Susie’s own feelings and sadness changed within herself which was quite different from when she cried in the interview.
Allison is straightforward and driven in life, one would think she had lofty standards which is the reason her daughter Monica had lied to her parents when she moved to Melbourne. She was studying a degree in creative writing and being so far away they would never find out. Monica cared deeply and loved writing; she only wished Allison would feel the same about her. Why was t so hard to have a problem with love?
The plot is engaging and paced with great skill, moving between characters’ individual stories to expertly keep the reader always engaged. At first, it was difficult to see where each chapter would fit as there is such disconnection but overall, the book came together and fitted into one whole story.
The narrative is excellent, it features powerfully descriptive and emotionally insightful passages. The themes are intelligently woven into the story and there is a striking balance when it comes to character, setting, and plot. This is an absorbing story that entertains and informs readers, inviting them to walk the path of love, compassion, and patience
Shirm ‘s is an author that knows how to create compelling characters, with real problems and real-life situations to solve them. You come to understand their feelings and dreams and it embraces the finest of human values.
I found this book about all the essential elements that make up a family, touching on both the good and the terrible things that go on. I cried, I laughed, I smiled, I could not put down this book. It is a true to life fictional story of any family and the obstacles they face. Anyone who reads this may be able to identify with parts of the story, this is not just a novel; it is a real-life lesson and a gift that many would benefit from reading.
I loved the cover of the book; it is visually attractive with a nice shimmer to the print when in light. I love designs you find an emotional connection with.
I highly recommend The Crying Room to those that love literary fiction, you will not be disappointed.
Thank you, Beauty and Lace and Transit Lounge for the opportunity to read and review.
July 22, 2023
The fact that the novel The Crying Room (Transit Lounge Publishing 2023) by Gretchen Shirm has cover endorsements from Helen Garner and Tegan Bennett Daylight gives you an indication of the quality of the prose and the skilled crafting of the writing. Luminously depicting the minutia of life through Shirm’s careful and sharp observation, the novel meanders through family dynamics and close relationships with an intimacy that is warm, deft, funny and moving.
Incorporating themes of loneliness, loss, ambition, family, responsibility, belonging and love, The Crying Room is the story of Bernie Rodgers and her husband who move to the coastal town of Ballina, putting even more physical distance between her and her adult daughters, one of whom, Susie, cares for her niece through complicated circumstances involving Susie’s sister. There is also the mystery of a missing plane.
I admire incredibly the author’s ability to write beautiful sentences, and to create evocative scenes, authentic dialogue and very moving and thought-provoking emotions. In this way, the book reminded me a little of novels such as Amanda Lohrey’s The Labyrinth, Charlotte Wood’s The Weekend, and Cold Enough for Snow by Jessica Au. My one criticism is that the narrative is perhaps so meandering and abstract, so disconnected, that I found myself constantly trying to remember who was related to who, and how, and to follow the threads of the story that are presented in fractured timelines and from changing perspectives. As usual, this comment is qualified by the caveat that the reading of a book is completely subjective, and a different reader might be entirely captivated by this approach. Even I, on a different day, might have been in the right frame of concentration so that this wasn’t an issue.
But while it is a novel presented in scenes, loosely connected, those scenes are beautifully structured and portrayed, and the book includes some ‘footnotes’ and other devices that make the reading of it slightly experimental and almost meta in that it is at times writing about writing.
Gretchen Shirm is a talented and brave writer, tackling issues and themes in an unusual way. She leaves a lot unsaid on the page; a lot of white space for readers to make their own assumptions, or to create their own story from the fragments she provides. A very interesting and lyrical novel.
Incorporating themes of loneliness, loss, ambition, family, responsibility, belonging and love, The Crying Room is the story of Bernie Rodgers and her husband who move to the coastal town of Ballina, putting even more physical distance between her and her adult daughters, one of whom, Susie, cares for her niece through complicated circumstances involving Susie’s sister. There is also the mystery of a missing plane.
I admire incredibly the author’s ability to write beautiful sentences, and to create evocative scenes, authentic dialogue and very moving and thought-provoking emotions. In this way, the book reminded me a little of novels such as Amanda Lohrey’s The Labyrinth, Charlotte Wood’s The Weekend, and Cold Enough for Snow by Jessica Au. My one criticism is that the narrative is perhaps so meandering and abstract, so disconnected, that I found myself constantly trying to remember who was related to who, and how, and to follow the threads of the story that are presented in fractured timelines and from changing perspectives. As usual, this comment is qualified by the caveat that the reading of a book is completely subjective, and a different reader might be entirely captivated by this approach. Even I, on a different day, might have been in the right frame of concentration so that this wasn’t an issue.
But while it is a novel presented in scenes, loosely connected, those scenes are beautifully structured and portrayed, and the book includes some ‘footnotes’ and other devices that make the reading of it slightly experimental and almost meta in that it is at times writing about writing.
Gretchen Shirm is a talented and brave writer, tackling issues and themes in an unusual way. She leaves a lot unsaid on the page; a lot of white space for readers to make their own assumptions, or to create their own story from the fragments she provides. A very interesting and lyrical novel.
September 15, 2023
This is one of those novels which you can tell immediately won’t appeal to everyone. However, for those who can handle the unusual story-telling, it offers a thoughtful exploration of family responsibilities and of the variety of ways love is expressed.
The novel dips into the lives of Bernie Rodgers, her daughters and her grand-daughter. It skims, landing on events of great significance to one or more of the women. It explores the relationships between them, how those relationships affect and shape each other, and how the outside world intrudes on them.
One reason many people will find this difficult is the way it’s told. The story shifts between different women and different times, and “fictional” stories written within the story using a character’s name. These shifts are not signalled in any way; you’re left to work it out from context. Sometimes it’s not obvious till chapters later. Similarly, relationships aren’t spelled out. You need to work them out from context and indirect statements.
In other words, this can be really confusing. I was concentrating, and even so I was thrown by the “fiction” written by one character. I still can’t decide whether what it added to the story out-weighed the confusion it generated.
However, I found the rest of the novel really interesting. The shifts between time and character initially seem fragmentary, but eventually build to a full and rounded picture of the relationships between the women of a family. Men have very little presence here, although their absences have a great deal of impact.
There is not a linear plot. I found that didn’t matter a great deal. The main problem was that every time the novel skipped, I was briefly distracted by trying to establish who we were with now, and when. This made it hard to stay immersed in the novel, but became less of an issue as my reading progressed.
I found this thought provoking rather than enjoyable. I’m glad I read it, though. It’s a challenging read, it hits some surprisingly strong emotional beats, and you’ll likely be thinking about it for some time after you’ve read it. Just don’t mistake it for a beach read.
If you enjoyed this review, please visit www.otherdreamsotherlives.home.blog to read more.
An edited version of this review first appeared on www.beautyandlace.net as part of their bookclub.
The novel dips into the lives of Bernie Rodgers, her daughters and her grand-daughter. It skims, landing on events of great significance to one or more of the women. It explores the relationships between them, how those relationships affect and shape each other, and how the outside world intrudes on them.
One reason many people will find this difficult is the way it’s told. The story shifts between different women and different times, and “fictional” stories written within the story using a character’s name. These shifts are not signalled in any way; you’re left to work it out from context. Sometimes it’s not obvious till chapters later. Similarly, relationships aren’t spelled out. You need to work them out from context and indirect statements.
In other words, this can be really confusing. I was concentrating, and even so I was thrown by the “fiction” written by one character. I still can’t decide whether what it added to the story out-weighed the confusion it generated.
However, I found the rest of the novel really interesting. The shifts between time and character initially seem fragmentary, but eventually build to a full and rounded picture of the relationships between the women of a family. Men have very little presence here, although their absences have a great deal of impact.
There is not a linear plot. I found that didn’t matter a great deal. The main problem was that every time the novel skipped, I was briefly distracted by trying to establish who we were with now, and when. This made it hard to stay immersed in the novel, but became less of an issue as my reading progressed.
I found this thought provoking rather than enjoyable. I’m glad I read it, though. It’s a challenging read, it hits some surprisingly strong emotional beats, and you’ll likely be thinking about it for some time after you’ve read it. Just don’t mistake it for a beach read.
If you enjoyed this review, please visit www.otherdreamsotherlives.home.blog to read more.
An edited version of this review first appeared on www.beautyandlace.net as part of their bookclub.
December 22, 2023
This is a book I relaxed in to. An odd thing to say perhaps, but it was the way the characters are revealed in a series of short chapters that brings you in to their intimate thoughts, that I found really engaging.
It's about family; Bernie and David, their daughters Susie and Allison, and Allison's daughter Monica. It's about their relationships, how their lives unfold together and separately, their triumphs, tragedies and missteps. The book shows the inter-generational impact of relationships. What happened to the grandparents when they were growing up, influenced how they interacted with their own children which has ongoing implications for their grandchildren. This comes out so strongly in the narrative.
There is a lot of sadness, blame, regret and dysfunction but to me it seemed to reflect the dynamics of family life and how each individual can react so differently to the same situation - it all depends on your perspective.
A beautifully written work.
It's about family; Bernie and David, their daughters Susie and Allison, and Allison's daughter Monica. It's about their relationships, how their lives unfold together and separately, their triumphs, tragedies and missteps. The book shows the inter-generational impact of relationships. What happened to the grandparents when they were growing up, influenced how they interacted with their own children which has ongoing implications for their grandchildren. This comes out so strongly in the narrative.
There is a lot of sadness, blame, regret and dysfunction but to me it seemed to reflect the dynamics of family life and how each individual can react so differently to the same situation - it all depends on your perspective.
A beautifully written work.
October 22, 2023
The Crying Room is about Bernie, her daughters, Susie and Allison, and Allison's daughter, Monica, who moves in with Susie in her teenage years. Bernie wasn't a very loving mother, and Allison was similar. It's almost a series of short stories, jumping between the women and to different points in time in each chapter. It becomes apparent that some of the chapters are works of fiction, written by Monica, so it's sometimes a little confusing to know what really happened and what didn't.
I didn't hate it but I didn't love it.
I didn't hate it but I didn't love it.
January 1, 2026
A narrative that could be described more as a series of loose vignettes. I think it could have benefited from being more distinct in either direction; either of short stories that didn’t need to link or a more tightly constructed central plot. I really enjoyed the prose and was quite moved when reading.
December 7, 2023
Ebook. I enjoyed the writing and putting together the fragments that make up this story. Each chapter felt like a short story in its own right. The family, like the book, is very disjointed - the members of this family have a lot of difficulty with expressing or even owning love.
September 16, 2023
I found this book a little disjointed to read. Once I settled into that it was enjoyable.
September 24, 2023
Totally unexpected read. Resonated in so many ways. I read it in one sitting, and I encourage my fellow readers to give it a go.
November 26, 2023
An interesting read on my phone. Delves into family relations and loss of close ones.
April 6, 2024
4.5 stars. susie is everything I feel :-(
October 3, 2025
Moving and wonderfully written. Didn’t want it to end.
March 28, 2024
An interesting read :)
Displaying 1 - 21 of 21 reviews