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304 pages, Hardcover
First published December 1, 1973
I am no more than a secretary of the invisible thing
That is dictated to me and a few others.
Secretaries, mutually unknown, we walk the earth
Without much comprehension. Beginning a phrase in the middle
Or ending it with a comma. And how it all looks when completed
Is not up to us to inquire, we won't read it anyway.
We and the flowers throw shadows on the earth.
What has no shadow has no strength to live.
I am only a man: I need visible signs.
I tire easily, building the stairway of abstraction.
How could I
how could I
do such things
living in this hideous world
subject to its laws
toying with its laws.
I need God, so that He may forgive me
I need a God of mercy.
If there is no God,
Not everything is permitted to man.
He is still his brother's keeper
And he is not permitted to sadden his brother,
By saying that there is no God.
All conceivable nonsense,
All evil
Stems from our struggle to dominate our neighbour.
Life was given but unattainable.
Unexpressed, untold.
But how?
The shortness of life,
the years quicker and quicker,
not remembering whether it happened in this or that autumn.
And there neither is nor was. Just the moment eternal.
... to lure the souls
From where they lived attentive to the idea of the hummingbird, the chair and the star.
To imprison them within either-or: male sex, female sex,
So that they wake up in the blood of childbirth, crying.
We learned so much, this you know well:
how, gradually, what could not be taken away
is taken. People, countrysides.
And the heart does not die when one thinks it should,
we smile, there is tea and bread on the table.
And only remorse that we did not love
the poor ashes in Sachsenhausen
with absolute love, beyond human power.
"Awareness of suffering makes a writer open to the idea of radical change, whichever of many recipes he chooses … Innumerable millions of human beings were killed in this century in the name of utopia—either progressive or reactionary, and always there were writers who provided convincing justifications for massacre.”