By Tom Piccirilli - The Last Kind Words: A Novel (Terrier Rand) (Reprint) (2013-04-24) [Paperback]

by Tom Piccirilli

To see more is to find oblivion…Tommy Pic’s hallucinations come and go and leave sticky notes for him during his bipolar swings. Coming out of a blackout in an unfamiliar psychiatric ward, Tommy Pic awakes to his missing childhood love, his dead brother, his alive family, and a message from his agent that his latest screenplay may yet be his ticket back to Hollywood fame and fortune. If only he could remember writing it. Searching out the hallucinations that will write Acts 2 and 3 of the screenplay that will oust Zypho as his best-known work, Tommy goes chasing his kidnapped childhood love, a witch from the magic shop, the komodo dragon he tried to cut out of his gut on Christmas Eve. … This is what makes you die.

Genres: Horror, Mystery

Paperback

First published March 19, 2013

About the author

Thomas Piccirilli (May 27, 1965 – July 11, 2015) was an American novelist and short story writer.

Piccirilli sold over 150 stories in the mystery, thriller, horror, erotica, and science fiction fields. He was a two-time winner of the International Thriller Writers Award for "Best Paperback Original" (2008, 2010). He was a four-time winner of the Bram Stoker Award. He was also a finalist for the 2009 Edgar Allan Poe Award given by the Mystery Writers of America, a final nominee for the Fantasy Award, and the winner of the first Bram Stoker Award given in the category of "Best Poetry Collection".

Reviews

[Richard Derus · Rating 3 out of 5]

Rating: 3.5* of five

The Publisher Says: To see more is to find oblivion…

Tommy Pic’s hallucinations come and go and leave sticky notes for him during his bipolar swings. Coming out of a blackout in an unfamiliar psychiatric ward, Tommy Pic awakes to his missing childhood love, his dead brother, his alive family, and a message from his agent that his latest screenplay may yet be his ticket back to Hollywood fame and fortune. If only he could remember writing it.

Searching out the hallucinations that will write Acts 2 and 3 of the screenplay that will oust Zypho as his best-known work, Tommy goes chasing his kidnapped childhood love, a witch from the magic shop, the komodo dragon he tried to cut out of his gut on Christmas Eve.

… This is what makes you die.

My Review: This book is bittersweet because its author died of a brain tumor last July. His career output was good-quality suspense and horror fiction, and a brief note from his widow posted on Facebook suggests that there could be posthumous goodies.

Let no one speak ill of the dead, runs the Roman maxim, and I have no ill to speak. I enjoyed this read, found it compelling, finished it in a day or so. The problems that knocked a whole star-and-a-half off my rating were all about the cohesion of the events in the book. A man having blackouts and talking to dead people is bound to have a continuity issue or two in his brain. On paper, these come across more as scattershot than as planned and placed pieces of the one story: Tommy Pic's life.

It's a good book, give it a try, just don't expect too much formal structure and all will be well.

[Danger · Rating 4 out of 5]

I had never actually read anything by Tom Piccirilli before, though I’ve always heard great things. Sometimes you just miss a writer. I don’t know why. It’s like their name floats around you, tempting you like a worm on a hook, and for whatever reason you just never chomp. Well, when I saw this in the library the other day and I thought to myself, “Perhaps this is the universe telling me to chomp already!” And so I chomped. And I’m real glad I did.

Tom Piccirilli has such an amazing voice. The words he chooses and his sentence structure never get stale, the humor is on point and not forced, and scenes are engaging and move along briskly – and all of this feeling almost effortless, which speaks volumes to the talent of the writer. I know Piccirilli worked primarily in the horror genre, but this novella is certainly NOT a horror book. In fact, the story (although occasionally “weird”) is deceptively simple, and underneath what would just be a straight-forward story lurks a lot of heart, pathos, neuroses, and fear, mixed up together to paint a world much bigger than the books meager 160 pages can contain. At times it veers into self-indulgent territory - the main character is named Tommy Pic and is a writer, after all - but I think that’s kinda the point. It’s about the creative process, both personally and professionally, and how every piece of art you make helps you reclaim a bit of yourself (or, as the case may be, give up a piece of yourself). So OF COURSE it’s going to be self-indulgent. Plus, I *believe* it’s the one of the last titles the author wrote before he passed away, so were that the case, I can’t think of a better swan song that this semi-autobiographical little oddity.

[karen]

be my valentine, firstreads program???

[Josh · Rating 4 out of 5]

The Hollywood screenwriter glamour and glitz is overshadowed by a reality that’s more crumbs and handouts, nightmares rein supreme, dreams a fallacy. Haunted by the ghosts of a missing love and fractured childhood event, Tommy Pic, a b-grade has-been lives in his mothers basement waiting for the next bout of inspiration to drag him from the doldrums of excessive alcohol and depression, but when it comes, the conduit is elusive and forged by a mysterious force.

Piccirilli’s poetic depiction of depravity of one’s loss of self and constant battle to maintain a cohesive and consistent train of thought is exemplary in WHAT MAKES YOU DIE. The lead character’s hallucinations add fluidity to Tommy Pic’s reality by distorting imagines of the true and false alike as he attempts to rekindle his b-grade glory amidst blackouts and unwanted bodily inhabitants.

There is an element of the surreal to WHAT MAKES YOU DIE, notably with a komodo dragon seemingly living inside Tommy’s intestines which may or may not be the screenwriters ‘dark half’. The creative side of Tommy will draw parallels to THE DARK HALF by Stephen King but with an added hint of funhouse horror.

The ending, while not conventional is intentional. It bodes well for the overall theme of the novel and further exemplifies what Tom Piccirilli was trying to do with WHAT MAKES YOU DIE. While there is a distinct emphasis on the Hollywood lifestyle (albeit on the frayed edges), it’s the undercurrents of maddening suspense and looming hopelessness that absorbs the limelight.

WHAT MAKES YOU DIE will leave you wanting more, Piccirilli’s namesake character and interesting screenplay demand further attention, and I, for one, certainly hope Piccirilli revisits this setting.

[Victoria Hooper · Rating 4 out of 5]

What Makes You Die is a strange book. It’s one of those stories that’s hard to say what it’s actually about. It’s about ghosts, witches, a prehistoric monster living inside a person, and a mysterious self-writing script. It’s about loss, the disappearance of a young girl, mental illness, and a failing writing career. It’s about all those things and yet it’s not really about any of them.

Tommy Pic is a desperate character who seems to be drifting in and out of sanity on the edge of nervous breakdown. He sees the ghosts of his dead family members and friends everywhere, and there is a pre-historic komodo dragon living in his intestines. At points it is very hard to tell just what is part of his extreme paranoia and what might be a real vision, or whether everything is completely in his head. Reality and the fantastical are blurred so much in the story that symbols and metaphor have a very real life of their own, and trying to decide exactly what’s real and what isn’t would probably be missing the point.

Tommy is coping with depression, with a hole that the loss of his father has left inside him, with feelings of inadequacy and despair brought on by a failing writing career, and with the ongoing mystery of what really happened to a girl – a friend he loved – who disappeared in his childhood. When he stumbles across a Wicca shop next to his agent’s office, he becomes involved with a young witch. She sees his ghosts, and the dragon in his gut, and is determined to help him. What ensues is very odd, but leads Tommy through a path of recovery and self-discovery, or perhaps re-self-discovery, to gain a sense of purpose again. It’s clever and entertaining, and will certainly leave you with a lot to think about at the end.

The book is very well written, with a poetic and almost noir-like style, and Tommy’s character is completely honest, right down to the obviously self-destructive behaviour. He can be frustrating at points, and extremely self-obsessed at others, but his story is always compelling. He’s spiralling into insanity but at the same time is capable of some sharp observations about the world and the people in it, making him a fascinating character to see through the eyes of. I also really enjoyed the humour in the book; it was knowing and sometimes a little dark, and it complemented the plot very well. There were some points where the pacing seemed slightly off to me, and occasional sections where the plot seemed to wander off to the side a little unnecessarily, which I thought could have been tightened up a bit. These were only small niggles, however.

Nothing is ever really quite what it seems in the story, leaving the reader to interpret much of what happens according to their own reading. I found what I thought was quite a glaring inconsistency in Tommy’s mother’s account of Kathy Lark’s disappearance (she says that Tommy was with her when she vanished but later seems to contradict herself when Tommy makes an unwelcome accusation). What exactly did happen there? Suggestions of Tommy’s loose grip on reality, a disturbing cover-up, a missed plot hole, or something else? I think I’m leaning towards the first, but with this kind of book it’s very hard to tell, and the story actually benefits from its unanswered questions anyway.

It would be very hard to pin this into a specific genre. Its supernatural elements are clearly metaphors – in fact, the whole story and the concept of the mysteriously written script can be seen as one larger metaphor – but it would be far too simplistic to say that this is all it is. I think it’s enjoyable on several levels, with a strong central character and interesting themes. It reminded me more of short stories than novels that I have read, having that short story quality of feeling like being part of something larger, of being about more than itself, of strong character-focus, and of defying traditional story structure as well as genre. It’s also a very short book, a novella really, and I think it was exactly the right length for the story being told.

This is a very interesting book that blurs supernatural elements, metaphor and reality, creating a surreal and engaging character-focussed tale about a man emerging from depression to find a sense of purpose and belonging once again. Incorporating elements of fantasy, horror, crime and noir, I think it could appeal to fans of many different genres. It might leave the reader with a lot of questions at the end, so for those who like straight, non-confusing narratives, this is probably best avoided. For others, there is a lot to think about and to love in this unique, well-written and surprising book.

Thank you to Apex Book Company for providing a review copy of this book in exchange for an honest review.

This review also appears on my blog.

[Stefan · Rating 4 out of 5]

This is somewhat irregular, but I’d like to start off this review with a painful confession: I somehow wasn’t familiar with Tom Piccirilli and mistook his new novel What Makes You Die for a debut.

Come back. Stop laughing.

In my defense, so far Piccirilli seems to have written mostly (though not exclusively) in the horror and thriller genres, which aren’t really my bailiwick. The ARC for What Makes You Die came in from Apex Book Company, a relatively small press. It’s a short little book, just 150 pages in my Epub copy. The blurb somehow yelled “autobiographical first novel” at me. Obviously, I’d somehow never heard of Tom Piccirilli, and of course I assumed that must mean he’s new.

So after about 30 pages, I’m sitting here thinking “whoa, this guy can write,” and I decide to fire up the ole Google. Turns out Tom Piccirilli has written over twenty novels and a gabillion short stories. He won a number of major awards, including the Bram Stoker Award on more than one occasion, and has been nominated for the World Fantasy Award. I was so shocked at my own painful ignorance that I decided the only way to atone for it was to display it in grand fashion at the start of this review.

If everyone’s done laughing, we can now move on to the actual review.

Read the entire review on my site Far Beyond Reality!

[Frank Errington · Rating 5 out of 5]

Review Copy

It's difficult to pigeonhole this new work from master storyteller Tom Piccirilli. Horror? Not really. Mystery? Sort of. Dark fiction, most definitely. Let's go with that. Most important, it's a very good, well told story.

What Makes You Die begins with the protagonist, Tommy Pic, in the bin, strapped to a bed, surrounded by family, some actually there, some dead. Tommy's there because he tried to commit hara-kiri with a steak knife. And that's just the beginning of a wonderful tale of a struggling screenwriter looking to recapture past glory.

I can't imagine how difficult it must be to write a first person narrative from the perspective of a madman with moments of lucidity and pull it into such a cohesive story, but Tom pulls it off and the result is wildly entertaining.

There are many subplots in this story from the screenplay Tommy is working on (but doesn't remember writing), to Eva, the new woman in his life, that he meets at Weird Sisters, a store specializing in Wiccan supplies, to his overwhelming desire to find his childhood friend, Kathy, who disappeared when he was ten. And then there's the Angry Clown who in a strange way brings it all together.

I loved the twisted way Tommy would often look at his own situation in terms of the screenplay he may or may not have written and makes life decisions on what a particular character might do next to further a plot line.

And the prose is just wickedly enjoyable. One of my favorite lines, of which there are so many. "You can sometimes find what you're looking for if you're hunting for the right thing. Usually I'm not, which is probably what brought me to a party in Hoboken to chat with a talking pug." In context that will make perfect sense.

The only downside for me was that I didn't want it to end. I want to know so much more about these characters, but that's certainly not a complaint, just a personal preference.

I debated mentioning the following in this context, but finally decided it was important. Tom Piccirilli has been writing for more than twenty years and has had some modicum of success, even to the point of receiving a number of prestigious awards. Last Fall it was discovered he had a brain tumor the size of a tennis ball, which he had removed and he has since undergone both chemo and radiation therapy. While his progress has been nothing short of remarkable, the expenses are very high. One of the best ways to support Tom is to buy his books. This way, you get a good read and Tom gets a bit of cash.

What Makes You Die won't be available for a few weeks, but put the release date on your calendar. March 19th, from the fine folks at Apex Book Publishers.

[Georgia · Rating 3 out of 5]

What Makes You Die by Tom Piccirilli is an odd read.

The main character, Tommy Pic, may share the author's name, but I am assured that all characters and event are fictitious (though to what extent, who knows?). The story starts with him waking up in a psych ward, strapped down to a bed (a commonplace occurrence for him apparently). The last time he woke up with the straps, was a couple years previously, when he attempted to 'hara-kiri' himself with a steak knife. Not because he wanted to die (necessarily), but because he was trying to get Gideon out. Gideon lives in his stomach, and is the ghost of a giant komodo dragon- who lived during the Pleistocene Age, and whose fossil is now on display in the Queensland Museum in Australia. For those wondering, it didn't work. He lost four foot of intestine, but Gideon is still inside him.

A depressive, bipolar, alcoholic, who is subject to frequent blackouts, Tommy is lost in the past. He is a screenwriter, though somewhat of a failed one. There was a time when he was moving up in the scene, living in Hollywood, he had the world in his hands. A few of his scripts were picked up, but then changes were made, he lost his spark and all his money and is now most famous for films he despises, and living in his mother's basement.

His father died when he was eight, one of his friends went missing a few years later, and his wife left him when his career took a downward turn. Memories haunt him, and due to his imagination and profession, they play out in front of him, like one of his movies, with full surround-sound. He spends hours lost in his own mind. He focuses on his failings and his losses, creating a bleak environment, that looks as washed out as he feels.

But the words don't flow anymore. He's tried everything. So when his agent, Monty, tells him he loves his latest manuscript, Tommy is more than a little confused (while breaking the fourth wall a bit. The manuscript is 'What Makes You Die', but seems to tell a completely different story to this one). Monty returns his script with amendments and asks him for the next act by Monday. Tommy leaves panicked. The script is written on his paper, has his name, everything about it screams that he wrote it, but he can't remember writing it at all.

He meets various characters, though I'm not sure how many of them are actually real, but neither is he, and attempts to find closure, or finish his script, or come to terms with his past, or any number of things.

If you're having trouble figuring out the plot, don't worry. The entire book is practically told constantly in Tommy's mind, with not too much dialogue. Because of this, if can be confusing for the reader, as Tommy's mind is a chaotic mess, his thoughts whirl around in his head, howling. It is a jumbled flow of information, that is hard to understand and yet somehow causes unease. I doubt even he understands half the stuff that happens in this story.

There are times when this book is quite tiring to read. There are no breaks in the story, just a constant, turbulent flow of turmoil, self-loathing and uncertainty, that takes its toll after a while.

This is a bleak, reasonably dark story, but with a surprising amount of humour. I would describe it more, but one of the characters (Timmy Pic himself, in fact) explains it so well, I'll let him do it:

"Innocent kid who hasn't had his liver torn out and stuck on a pike yet:

Mr. Pic, some of your work is intensely stark and bleak, but it's also surprisingly funny. How
do you manage to put so much emphasis on such spiritual pain and have laughs along the
way?"

That describes his writing style in a nutshell. To hear the answer you'll have to read the book. Oh, and what a good answer it is.

Going through the story, with its lack of direction, there comes a point when you believe you've found the plot. It seems like it's going to be this big thing, this conclusion, this remedy for his mind, something to fix the damage that begun so long ago and help get his life back on track. Then it finishes with a a completely different, very ordinary and not quite fitting ending. There is a hopeful air to it, though it's still a little unsure, but doesn't entirely work with the rest of the story.

It's almost like the majority of the book is coated in deep fog, that makes it hard to tell what's going on, and then it lifts right at the very end and changes the story, it changes everything. The oddities that frequent the pages are made trivial and such a normal ending does not fit with the insanity that came before it.

After finishing the book, I went back, thought about the plot and discovered it to be something very simple- a writer overcoming his writer's block. There are a few additions and complications, but that is basically what the story is, though you wouldn't know it. But they do say it's the journey and not the destination.

Overall, this is an unusual book, quite macabre in places, and will most likely be a hit-or-miss kind of book. You'll either like it or you won't. For what it's worth, I enjoyed it, though most likely didn't understand most of it. I'm not even entirely sure whether most of the events in the book even happened or were just delusions of Tommy Pic's mind. I don't think he knows.

Maybe I enjoyed it because it was unusual. Because it's not something you read everyday. Why I enjoyed it isn't really relevant, all that matters is that I did- though the confusion does lessen than somewhat.

Disclaimer: I received this book through a Librarything giveaway. This is not a sponsored review. All opinions are 100% my own.

[Tory Wagner · Rating 2 out of 5]

The first three quarters of the book was a disaster, but the final part was at least readable.

[Anton Cancre · Rating 5 out of 5]

Because it always feels so personal, it’s hard to separate Piccirilli’s work from the man himself. It certainly doesn’t help the situation when he names his first person narrator Tommy Pic. Of course, he knows that and I’m fairly certain that the bastard is intentionally messing with us (or, more pointedly, me).

Of course, nothing seems particularly clear for Tommy, either. Ever since he belly flopped from near midlist stardom of a sort, he’s been black-out drunk, living in his mother’s basement and not able to sell a damn thing. We join him waking up in the boobyhatch, welcomed by friends and relatives who may or may not really be there and with no recollection of what he did. At least there is the script his agent is so excited about that he doesn’t remember writing and can’t seem to be able to read. Add an extinct Komodo dragon, witches, ghosts of kidnapped childhood friends and a several pints of Jameson and then try to find a way to continue writing what may very well save or destroy his career.

Needless to say, reality gets a little fuzzy between these pages.

I think it’s fair to say that What Makes You Die is intended to be a companion piece to Every Shallow Cut, which is explicitly referenced in a nice bit of Petey’s Blue Rose blues. Not so much a sequel to that story, but perhaps an answer to the questions raised within it. Or maybe it just raises more questions. It gets to be a bit of a sticky wicket there, but I’ll get to the navel gazing in a moment.

Like everything Pic writes, WMYD is intense, searing, heartfelt and honest. The desperation and need is palpable and a bit overwhelming at times. I adore how well he weaves the hallucinations through the reality, blending the two until it is almost impossible to tell where one ends and the other begins. As a reader, it 's hard not to feel like I became Tommy Pic for a while and that's always a feat. Then all of this is conveyed with that odd combination of blunt force and poetic grace that Tom has developed over the years. As a simple piece of entertaining, if a tad emotional painful, fiction, it works wondrously. It may even be a tad less bleak than his work usually is.

Now for the navel: I mentioned my belief that Tom may very well be messing with us (me) earlier. The ebb and flow of hallucinations and objective experience, of irreality and reality, are so indistinguishable and this narrator is so incredibly unreliable that it's hard to tell what has actually happened here. There is definitely a struggle to regain self and purpose and value but there is no clear way to tell how the struggle ends. Triumph and tragedy get muddled in the mixed mentality of our humble narrator to the point that our answer seems less like an answer and more like another question. I can’t be more specific that that without giving too much away.

But, this ambiguity of form and purpose is what kicked my ass here. His work has never been as simple as it seemed, but now… wow. There hasn’t been a doubt in my head for some years now and WMYD confirms my belief that Tom Piccirilli is one of the great literary writers of our generation. No bullshit hyperbole there, just an honest opinion. Whenever someone whines to me that we have no one nowadays that can stand next to Hemmingway, Hughes, Shelly, Cervantes and their compatriots, I can point to this book and tell them to suck it.

If you want a quick, powerful and not quite fun but still entertaining read, it satisfies. If you want to dig deeper and get lost in the well, you can certainly do so. But I’ll end with what I was left mumbling into my pillow upon finishing this: “Fuck you, Pic. Thank you.”

[Gef · Rating 4 out of 5]

This book came out of nowhere, and the news of its release was nearly as welcome as the news Tom Piccirilli is on the mend. After being diagnosed with brain cancer last year, the guy went to hell and back getting a tumor the size of a tennis ball removed from his skull, then dealing with chemo and all the treatment that entails, and now the ungodly medical bills that are piling up because of the oh-so-wonderful healthcare system down there in the United States. Anyway, Tom is an author with a seemingly innate ability to go to very dark places within his writing, but even knowing that I wasn't quite prepared for What Makes You Die.

Tommy Pic, is a failed screenwriter, waking up in a mental facility somewhere after his umpteenth breakdown, strapped to a bed with his family at his side. It's old hat for everyone at this point. In his late-thirties now, he's seen the inside of a padded room more than once, to the point that there's no great drama from his mother or sister or anyone else beyond some prayers and hung heads.

With no money, no joy, no prospects, and no memory of how he wrote the first act of a new manuscript that showed up in the hands of his agent, Tommy is at his wit's end. The new book is titled "What Makes You Die" and his agent loves what he's written so far, but Tommy can't even be sure he even wrote it. And while visiting his agent across the river in New York City, he meets a young woman working in a shop for Wiccans and the like. He instantly takes a liking to her, but somehow she takes a liking to him, too. There's an empathic quality to her, and she even gives him the sense that she can see the same ghosts haunting him that he does--maybe not the komodo dragon living in his belly.

This book, much like Tom's novella Every Shallow Cut, is equal parts dazzling and depressing. Tommy Pic's sanity seems to be hanging on by a thread. He's already got a scar across his belly where he lost a couple feet of intestine from the Christmas Eve he took a steak knife to his belly in an attempt to cut out that ghost of a komodo dragon living in there. At the start of the book, it feels like we're just sitting around with his family, looking down on him in his madness, waiting for him to finish the job. A collision course with a tragic and all too foreseeable demise. There's a scene of Tommy answering questions from teenagers in a girl's parent's garage that slowly sours and makes you think the guy is going to go off the deep end at any second, and it won't be pretty.

There is a glimmer of hope for Tommy though, and that's what saves the book from being an utterly morbid exercise. It's a wrenching story and until you hit the final page, you're not quite sure if it's all going to go horribly, horribly wrong or if he might find at least one of the answers he's searching for. A really good book that will be a slog for folks looking for lighter fare and a gem for folks who have an idea how deep and dark the rabbit hole goes.

[Jessica · Rating 4 out of 5]

I finished this book on new years eve and man was I sad it ended. This was a great read, I enjoyed reading about Tommy Pic and the Komodo dragon living in his belly that he decided to hack out and then lost a section of his bowels. Fantasy and reality get blurred in this story about a man whos life is a mess and his mind along with it.

Does Tommy hallucinate and see things no one else can? Does he leave himself post it notes with no memory of doing so? Does he write screenplays he doesn’t remember? Can witches save him? Will his childhood love be found? Will the dragon in his belly ever move on? Is Zypho the script that will turn his life around?

So many questions, poor Tommy he’s all over the place but his story is one I didn’t want to put down and I’m only sorry it was so short. What makes you die has elements of many different genre and as such would appeal to lots of readers however all the questions raised may or may not be answered so I’d advise readers to keep in mind its a story that isn’t wrapped in a nice neat bow.

As fragmented as Tommy Pics mind this story is a conundrum wrapped in a riddle. One I was delighted to venture into.


Thank you to Apex for my review copy.

[Rhonda · Rating 4 out of 5]

I really enjoyed this book. It was a super quick read that kept me engaged from the first page to the last. I thought Mr. Piccirilli's skill with words was surpassed only by his insight into people. For (spoiler-free) example, this is a dark, somewhat bizarre book about a screenwriter so troubled that his being put in the bin is almost a casual thing for him and his family, and yet, one of my favourite passages is the one below where the main character is addressing a group of children (his nieces and nephews):

I lifted my head from my pillow. "What's your name?" I asked.
"You know my name!"
"No, I really don't."
A burst of giggles. "You're silly!"
"I am silly!" I said. I was silly.

Fantastic. Little things like that are what made this book for me.

[Kinsey_m · Rating 3 out of 5]

A very interesting and original story about an alcoholic and probably schyzophrenic screenwriter for horror films. The voice of the first person narrator is very interesting and rings true (even if it means reading through some uncomfortable scenes). It works very well as a portrayal, but at some points it gives the impression that the story is more plot-based than it really is, which may lead to disappointment for some at the open ending and unresolved issues, even if (on reflection) this is a much more realistic ending for the story.

[DeAnna Knippling · Rating 5 out of 5]

A sensuous slipstream so thick and real that you'll never know the difference between the impossible and the inescapable. Takes you down into the darkest places but has the magnificently well-timed kindness to let you go at the last sentence.

[David Marshall · Rating 4 out of 5]

This is an entertaining view of what it takes to write a winning Hollywood script.

http://opionator.wordpress.com/2013/0...

[S.B. (Beauty in Ruins) · Rating 4 out of 5]

Wow. What a wild and crazy ride. If, like myself, you've never read Tom Piccirilli before, then strap yourself in and make yourself comfortable, because What Makes You Die is going to make you supremely uncomfortable . . . while entertaining, of course.

On the surface, this is the story of a writer who has long since lost his grip on reality, and is only somewhat interested in regaining it. Tommy was once something of a success, selling a few novels and screenplays, and even shepherding their transition to the screen. Before long, however, life caught up with him, the money disappeared, and the work . . . well, it changed. By the end of his short-lived career, Zypho, his tentacled alien, had become fodder for a series of cheap porn movies, and he was spending more time in mental wards than in mansions.

This time, when he comes home from the ward, it's to find that his agent is excited about the first act of his latest screenplay - a screenplay Tommy has absolutely no memory of having written. Success is once against at his fingertips, just waiting for him to seize it, but he has no idea where the phantom story came from or where it is headed. The act of seeking out the story, however, forces him to confront the tragedy that has haunted his entire life. If he's ever going to get a grip on the story, first he as to get a grip on his lost memories of the night his childhood love was kidnapped, never to be seen again.

It's a powerful story, almost as chilling as it is fascinating. Tommy is an interesting guy, eccentric, passionate, and deeply troubled. He doesn't always make the best choices, but those choices do lead him down some interesting avenues (or rabbit holes, as the case may be). Falling in love with an honest-to-gosh witch is not the strangest thing that happens during his journey, and the angry komodo dragon living inside his soul is not the oddest thing he finds. His is a tragic, troubled, depressing tale, but there's a thin thread of hope that winds itself about him, even if we cannot see it until near the very end.

Even if you're not quite sure where the story is headed, or what the point of it all is, you can't help but want to keep reading, to ride along with Tommy, and see it through to the end. As character-driven stories go, this is an exceptionally strong one, full of darkness and danger, but intricately drawn and well-grounded in the magic and mystery of the creative process. As awkward and aloof as it seems as times, it never wavers in sustaining the suspense, and manages to provide a payoff that's as unique as the story itself, and as tidy as we could possibly hope for, given the circumstances.


Originally reviewed at Beauty in Ruins

[R · Rating 2 out of 5]

Pages Read 72/154

If I had to describe What Makes You Die, I'd say that it's a look into the mind of a washed up screenwriter who struggles with extremely poor mental health. There's no real plot to it. We just follow him around his life and get a look into how his mind works. It's not a badly written book by any means, it just wasn't for me. I need one of two things for me to like a book: a good plot or a character that really grabs my interest. Obviously the first one wasn't there and, sadly, the second wasn't either.

It's not that the focus character is dull. Tommy Pic brings a lot to the table. He suffers from dilutions, black outs, and all manner of awful mental health issues. Any time he'd talk about a clear delusion, I'd get anxious, worrying that he'd hurt himself as he'd apparently done in the past. That was as far as my connection with him went, though. I wasn't particularly fascinated by him nor was he someone that I loved to hate. He was a poor soul who I felt sympathy for. As the book went on, I became less and less interested in seeing the world through his eyes. When we reached the half-way point and there still wasn't any real plot to speak of, I decided that I'd had enough and I called it quits.

While I did lose all interest in this one, I could definitely see someone loving it. It's well written. It just wasn't for me.

[Phillip M · Rating 5 out of 5]

Childhood events can have far reaching impacts later in life and maybe they can even lead to multiple personalities. In Tommy Pic’s case, the story’s protagonist has two personalities, or more correctly, he has another self, a more quiet inner self. His two selves don’t conflict with each other as is usually portrayed in movies. They don’t even know about each other or, at least Tommy didn’t know about his inner self. We know, though, that Tommy’s other self writes very well, maybe even better than Tommy. Perhaps this came about because Tommy’s inner self knows the truth about his childhood, while Tommy has repressed it.

This book is not ordinary. It takes the reader from psychiatric wards to the basement in his mother’s house, to Hollywood parties, to a witches’ coven and then to movie exec meetings. Whether or not Tommy can get back on his feet and achieve his former Hollywood glory remains a question. At least, he has a better handle on himself. Now if he could only win the girl.

[Tammy - Books, Bones & Buffy · Rating 4 out of 5]

****4 1/2 Stars!!

In a word: laugh-out loud funny, pitch perfect writing, a many-layered mystery, filled with quirky characters you'll love.

I looked up into the sky and tried to call down the rain. It was a day when I should have been walking in the rain, with the wind rising around me, the dark funnel clouds opening above me, a mean storm waiting to break. So below, as above.

But there wasn't any rain. The world denied me my tempest. The alcohol gave me a sour stomach. Gideon curled and uncurled upon a sharp flat rock inside me. The scent of citrus and garlic came on heavy. The smell of freshly made tomato sauce made my belly growl. Gideon hissed in response.

Tom Piccirilli’s hallucinogenic tale is a real gem: I can honestly say I did not know what to expect when I started reading What Makes You Die, but I knew after the first ten pages or so that I was reading a very special story. Piccirilli’s seasoned writing is so good and his pacing so perfect that I know I will be going back and reading his earlier books when I have some free time. This is a quick read, not only because of the page count, but because of several mysteries that are woven into the plot, mysteries that will keep the reader turning pages as fast as possible.

Tommy Pic is a Hollywood screenwriter in a slump: he hasn’t sold a screenplay in years and his life has become a succession of binge drinking and manic-depressive blackouts that send him to the psychiatric ward, or "the bin" as he calls it. When he wakes up from his latest episode, strapped to a bed and surrounded by his family, he wants nothing more than to get the hell out of there and try to get things back on track. But a call from his agent, Monty Stobbs, makes him wonder if he’s going crazy. Monty is over the moon about the first act of a screenplay that Tommy emailed him called What Makes You Die and thinks this might be the one to put them both back on the map. But what’s a depressed and confused writer to do when he can’t even remember writing the damn thing?

And so begins Tommy’s odd journey as he struggles to figure out not only the truth behind the mysterious screenplay, but a lost memory of a tragic event from his childhood. As he battles to stay sober he must deal with his dysfunctional family, a woman who claims to be a witch, and worst of all, the ghost of a Komodo dragon named Gideon who lives in his stomach.

Tommy tells his story in first person, and his distinctive voice is one of the best things about this book. His quirks are many; he hears the voice of Gideon in his head and even tried to cut him out once with a steak knife (which earned him a stint in the mental ward). He also believes he sees the ghosts of dead friends and family: his father, his brother Bobby, and the elusive Kathy, a childhood friend who disappeared without a trace when they were ten. He sometimes lapses into talking in screenplay format, with hysterically funny results. He’s a guy that you alternately love, hate and feel sorry for, often all at the same time.

When Tommy meets a girl named Eva that can possibly see into his soul (she tells him she can see Gideon), he lets himself believe that she may be able to solve his problems, and then he falls in love with her:

It was midnight. I was smitten. Maybe my heart was being cooked and eaten. Maybe that’s what love was.

All the characters in What Makes You Die are critical to the story and I can’t imagine this book without any of them. Even the smaller roles, like a high school girl named Celeste who invites Tommy to her “cinema appreciation group” to speak about his movies, or the beautiful Trudy who ties up Monty at an out-of-control Hollywood party, are important, as Tommy claws his way out of his miserable life. And the dead won’t leave him alone. Tommy drives his “dead brother Bobby’s car” (as he refers to it) and keeps seeing women on the street who look like Kathy, grown up and alive after all. Most tragic of all is Tommy’s mother, a woman who has sacrificed her entire life by caring for Tommy’s mentally disabled sister Debbie, cleaning up after his brother Bobby’s drunken mishaps, and stoically bailing Tommy himself out of trouble time and again.

But although the mystery of Tommy’s new screenplay was enough to keep this story afloat on its own, my favorite part of the book was the back-story about Kathy's disappearance. Tommy has suppressed his memory of the event, and it isn’t until he has several conversations with Eva and his mother that he can finally remember what really happened to her. The reveal is shattering, and adds depth to an already layered story.

The suspense builds as Tommy tries to drink himself into a stupor, believing that “the other me” is the person who is writing the screenplay. Whether or not he will be able to tap into this other persona and finish writing it, well, you’ll just have to read the book to find out. The character of Tommy, who is sometimes crass, sometimes sad and confused, but a good person despite all the mistakes he’s made, is one I won’t soon forget. And neither will you.

Many thanks to the publisher for supplying a review copy.

Quotes are taken from an uncorrected proof, and may differ in the finished version of the book.

This review originally appeared on Books, Bones & Buffy.

[Jordan · Rating 4 out of 5]

I received an ARC copy of What Makes You Die through the Goodreads FirstReads program. I was initially hesitant about this one, pretty sure I had decided against entering the giveaway, but I have to say that this was pretty good. It was dark without being depressing, oddly comedic at times despite the bleak outlook of the protagonist who serves as our narrator.

Tommy Pic’s life has gone down the tubes. Where once he was a rising star in Hollywood, writing a steady string of saleable screenplays, now he’s down and out, divorced and living in his mother’s basement between stays in the mental ward. He’s not even completed a screenplay in years. He is known only for Zypho, a cheap monster movie franchise he has come to loath and which no longer even brings in anything to pay the bills. Not even his agent really believes in him anymore, but that’s okay because he’s not much of an agent himself anymore. Tommy is bipolar, suffering blackouts on occasion that can last a couple of weeks at a stretch. Released once more from “the bin” after an episode, Tommy returns to find a message from his agent: the new screenplay looks great, or the first act does anyway. When can he finish acts two and three? This could be the one to get them both back in the game. The only problem? Tommy can’t remember writing it. His agent’s notes don’t even ring a bell, the characters are completely unfamiliar. Will Tommy be able to find the part of him that can still write in time to actually complete a manuscript? Will he finally manage to be rid of Gideon, the ghostly Komodo Dragon that lives in his gut and that he tried to cut out with a steak knife last Christmas? Will he be able to finally lay to rest his obsession with the girl down the street who disappeared when they were ten? And perhaps most important, will he be able to finally find love again, however fleeting, with the pretty witch from the magic shop next to his agent’s office? Telling you the answers would do you no good. You have to experience this alongside Tommy for any of this to mean anything.

As I mentioned, I’m not really a fan of books where the narrator character–and thus me the reader–has a tenous grasp on reality. Maybe it brings up too many of my own demons I’d thought long excorcised. Maybe I just don’t like being confused. At any rate, I didn’t really expect to like this book. But I did, in spite of myself. The writing was well crafted, the characters so complex as to feel like real people. Not heroes, not villains, just real people trying to survive in a world that does you no favors. It’s a bleak book, but redemptive in its own small way. The ending didn’t quite seem right to me, but I won’t tell you why. That way lies spoilers. And on the whole it was a minor flaw at worst. So where’s the line between Tommy Pic (character) and Tom Piccirilli (author)? Hard to say. It’s mentioned that Pic wrote a screenplay entitled Every Shallow Cut, which I see is another book written by Piccirilli, and his screenplay in the story is entitled What Makes You Die same as the novel. So it’s a little bit self-referential, but not enough to annoy me…..

CONTENT: R-rated language throughout. Sexual content and references, mild to mildly explicit. Perhaps no violence, strictly speaking, but there is definitely some stuff that falls into the same category and is minorly disturbing. Occult material: Tommy visits a magic shop, and the woman there tells him things that no one else outside of Tommy’s head should know. Is she a witch? Does her magic work? It seems to, but Tommy is an unreliable narrator so it is hard to be sure.

[David Ledeboer]

It’s not often I refer back to the author’s blurb before the book, but in this instance, it is necessary. No, not necessary, but required to give mention of it here in this review. The author explains who he wrote the book for and it isn’t your typical: Mom, Dad, Daughter, Son, Bother, Sister, Wife, bla bla bla. He explains that this book is for you, the undesired, the outraged, the outcast and neglected, the failures, fuck-ups, and misfits. (Do you see your proper category anywhere in there yet? If not you’re still included, too.) I bring this up, because I related to Tommy Pic, to his pain of failure, his want of achieving greatness for his films, his bouts of psychotic episodes. I related to Tommy Pic and so will you to a certain degree; that’s what makes this book special.

I’ve read two books written from first person point-of-view within the last week and I’ve been shocked at how fantastic they have been. I was especially stunned because while I had an idea that “What Makes You Die”, was going be good, I just didn’t know it was going to be this GOOD. Tommy Pic is a screenwriter who’s met both brutal ends of the Hollywood spectrum, failure and success, a pair that always seem to be at hand and Tommy has finally reached the down-and-out category. The premise of the story has us following in the faltering footsteps of a delusional, alcoholic, sick-minded, yet entertaining Tommy, in an attempt to recreate the final acts of a mysterious screenplay that he has no recollection of ever writing.

“Trying to recapture the hallucinations that crafted his masterpiece, he chases his kidnapped childhood love, a witch from the magic shop downstairs, and the Komodo dragon he tried to cut out of his gut one Christmas Eve. The path to professional redemption may be more dangerous than the fall.”

If this sounds insanely brilliantly, it’s because it is insanely brilliant. These are just a few tantalizing scenes we are gifted with, amongst so many others that will rear up and slap you in the face with a dousing of strongly mixed emotions. Ironically one of the characters in this novella, Bango the Clown would literally slap you in the face with a shoe. As for the other characters, Eva (Tommy’s witch/girl interest) is my favorite; she brings a refreshing aura about her that lends us a sense of clarity and feeling that maybe things can get better for Tommy. What Makes You Die is comprised of a rich cast that wouldn’t be complete without Tommy’s imaginary family members, Bango the Clown, his less than angelic agent Monty Stobbs, and, yes, the famous Komodo dragon, Gideon, living within Tommy’s stomach and leaving him Post-it notes everywhere.

I truly had an extremely difficult time putting this one down for even a few minutes to get some work finished. Fail or succeed, author Piccirilli, does a masterful job of making us cling to every scene and page that unfolds in Tommy Pic’s quest to finish his unremembered script “What Makes You Die”. I’ve read Tom Piccirilli’s short, “Subletting God’s Head” in the anthology Dark Faith: Invocations and now after finishing “What Makes You Die”, I can say that I’m a big fan of Mr. Piccirilli’s work.The only qualms I had within this book arose at the ending. All I can say is that some of the haze and fog which blinds Tommy Pic’s eyes doesn’t completely evaporate with the novella’s conclusion. I’m guessing this was the author’s intention.

[Mike Kazmierczak · Rating 4 out of 5]

This book isn't a typical Piccirilli novel. There's no pulp fiction or crime noir that occurs. There's no supernatural elements (though this is debatable). And there's no horror, at least in the vampires, monsters, ghouls sense of the word. Considering though that Piccirilli has said in interviews that he finds more true horror in real life, this novel has tons.

The protagonist, Tommy Pic, wakes up in a mental hospital. Pic is a screenwriter with some success but not much. He also is haunted by the ghosts of his father, a girl who went missing when he was ten and a Komodo dragon. While Pic seems to be barely holding it together, he is also an old hat when it comes to dealing with a mental hospital. Waking up inside of one is not a new thing. At least not since after failing in Los Angeles and moving back home to live in his mom's basement. The story then follows Pic has he determines which ghosts to exorcise and which to accept.

Initially I was a bit disappointed with the book. The story seemed disjointed and scattered. There were pieces to the story that I wasn't understanding and didn't seem to fit. However, the second half of the book aligned those disjointed pieces together until I realized that they were never quite as disconnected as I thought. It was more like real life in that there was no gun fights or car chases or other hard edges. Instead relationships reached a plateau before changing. Lives evolved in steps, not jumps. And offbeat storylines matched life where not everything makes sense.

I should also point out the obvious that the book seems semi-autobiographical at times. Tommy Pic the character vs. Tom Piccirilli the author. Both are writers. However, that is pretty much it. According to IMDB, Piccirilli hasn't reach the same level of quasi-fame that the character has. And while the two might have similar ghosts to exorcise, that's what a write always does: puts part of himself into the story. The naming did make it a tad more difficult to get connected at the start of the novel. While I do believe that new readers should start with something else by Piccirilli, regular readers or fans shouldn't miss this one.

[Maxine · Rating 4 out of 5]

I have to say right off the top, I have no real idea what genre this novella fits into - fantasy, horror, whatever - but I can say for sure it's one weird and wild ride and just about impossible to put down.

Tommy Pic is a screenwriter who, despite having written some good films, is remembered only for a low budget monster movie which has attained cult status and has spawned two sequels and a porn flick. Then Tommy's career hit the skids, he's plunged into alcoholism, has experienced several psychotic breaks, and has been forced to move into his long-suffering mom's basement with his nightmares and a Komodo Dragon named Gideon who lives in Tommy's belly and leaves him post-it notes all around the apartment.

Tommy also has a sleazy agent who gets tied up a lot by women he's pisses off; his girlfriend is a witch; and his best friend is an angry clown named Bango who has a tendency to take his oversized shoe off and hit people over the head with it. Also, Tommy is writing a brilliant new script which could kickstart his career except...he can't remember writing it and has no idea what it's about. And, if all that isn't bad enough, Tommy is haunted by the memory of Kathy Lark, his first love, who disappeared when he was ten.

I know this all sounds crazy and it is but it is so, so entertaining. So who would I recommend this book to? Well, I think author Tom Piccirilli says that best in his dedication:

'For everyone with an irrepressible rage or shame, a sickly hue to your face or another's, a half-forgotten heart-ache, a mistake that can never be mended, a wound that can't be found, a parent you can no longer cry to, an unending lament, a dark angel with outstretched hand,

What Makes You Die is for you-'

[Michael Estey · Rating 5 out of 5]

I'm was surprised the protagonist and main character (told from the first persons point of view) in this delightful Novella is named Tommy Pic. Is this any indication of Tom Piccirilli's real life?

Tommy Pic a screenwriter, with one success under his belt, a low budget horror flick despite other better written screenplays he has written. He wakes up in a mental institution after a failed attempt to commit suicide, a failed attempt at Hara-Kari surrounded by real and imaginary people.

He lives in his mother's basement, where he's writing a new screenplay called "What Makes You Die" which he can't remember writing. His publisher seems interested and wants more from him.

But he's depressed, an alcoholic, he hallucinates and struggles to write and has a relationship with a younger girl which spurs his creative juices. An imaginary witch, from childhood past. He's obviously mentally on the brink of another breakdown.

It's hard to categorize this book, is it horror, mystery, a crime story. Any which way, it's black.

I enjoyed this crazy ride. I'd give it 5 stars. ***** and highly recommend it.

Michael Estey

[Michael Mills · Rating 3 out of 5]

Tommy Pic is a screenwriter emerging from a serious depressive episode. He cut his own stomach open, spent a long time under sedation and believes there is a dragon living in his stomach. Explaining it like that, you realise how dark a book What Makes You Die is, but strong prose makes it a light read.

Tommy's depression is a buffer against poeticism. This is how he sees the world, with all the discontent that squirms between his life and the version of it he writes. It's a backhand to authors who use prose to mythologise themselves.

Maybe only Piccirilli understands a lot of what's going on – and there must be something, because a book this smart can't have a resolution as underwhelming as this one seems – but at least some of it'll come together in your head once the book's had a while to mature on the shelf.

[John Bruni · Rating 5 out of 5]

When it comes to melancholy pain, no one in the business is better than Tom Piccirilli. This is probably the finest example of this ability. One hopes that this isn't based on a true story, even though the protagonist's name is Tommy Pic. The story hits his usual themes, his usual hauntings. There's just enough personal detail to make a reader wonder and fear that some of these things actually happened to him. I guess the only way to tell for sure is by looking for the scar on his belly from when he tried to cut the ghost of a Komodo dragon named Gideon out of himself . . . . If you're a fan of dark fiction, this is a must read book. No one describes a man struggling with his demons better than Piccirilli.

[Jennifer · Rating 3 out of 5]

It's kinda hard to say with this story is really about. Tommy Pic, author, is losing all sense of himself. Hes an out of control binge drinker. He is writing a screenplay which his publisher loves it but Tommy doesn't remember writing because he was most likely in one of his many fugue states. It's a good story but I feel like its missing something, just not sure what. It did skip around quite a bit which I found confusing at times but all in all it was a good book.

[KK · Rating 1 out of 5]

i really dont know what to say about this book. the story was well told but it didnt really captivate me. it was somewhat interesting but in my opinion, not that much. i was expecting him to solve his long lost friend´s mystery.

[Kathryn · Rating 5 out of 5]

A beautiful story. Beautifully written. Tom is complex but not to the point of pretentiousness. Mental illness is part of the story but it's not an issue piece. The humor is self-aware but not self-hating. The story is both large in scale and very intimate. Superb.