Obvious: Something Else Altogether by Peter Filak

by Peter Filak

In the right now of right now—in the tunnel vision of now—, I now know that this wavering of self forever allows me to wholly believe in whatever I believe while also forever keeping me in between it all—while forever keeping me a neutral and balanced-out party. In short, to have faith is to have faith in oneself. In essence, I believe all that I have written in this book, for I have indeed believed it at some point and it has indeed culminated into this very reflection. From the present moment that is no longer the moments of before, it appears that my beliefs have changed, but I also feel that they are and were as permanent as ever—that they are and were this motionless still that makes me feel as if I am forever being swept elsewhere as I go from moment to moment. It is in duality that we can have it all, and it is also in duality that we can have this blindness that is an all beyond it all. Combined, well, we cannot help but have it all, despite forever feeling as if we are being torn between it all. As I look back on my most recent lifestyle changes that appear to be so instantaneous, well, I cannot help but re-remember that there is some good to be found in all that is bad, just as there is some bad to be found in all that is good. It is in thinking that no bad can come from something good and that no good can come from something bad, that I inevitably switch sides and become that which I could never become. It is in thinking that I am in pursuit of perfection despite always finding imperfection, that I inevitably exist in perfection. I lose in that I cannot win, but I also win in that I cannot lose, despite forever feeling as if I am winning and losing from moment to moment. I do believe myself to be the second coming of Jesus, but I also believe that I am you and you are me and that together and apart we are everything and everyone in each and every moment—in just one moment. I am special, but only because I am blind. I am blind, but only because you all make me feel as if I am special. As of right now, my obvious cannot be yours—despite it somehow being just that forever and always—and I pride myself in knowing that this obvious will not always be my obvious and that it will inevitably be just yours as well. I know that I cannot help but be a friend to my obvious and an enemy to your obvious. I know that I cannot help but be an enemy to the obvious that feels previous and a friend that to the obvious that is no longer distant. No matter what I do—no matter what I believe—, I know that I cannot help but do it or believe it, as evidenced by the reality that I cannot help but do it and believe it. When we look at each other, we can never see what the other sees, for we can only see for ourselves. These words of mine are as much of a forcing of perspective as I wish them not to be—as much as I plead you to not see them as such. You will find yourself agreeing with the beliefs that are no longer my beliefs, just as I will find myself agreeing with some beliefs that are no longer your beliefs. In seeing this, it is my hope that you can just let your friends be your enemies and your enemies be your friends, and therefore something else altogether—but it is in such reflection, that I do indeed know that we are indeed this ‘something else altogether’. In fighting for yourself, you cannot help but fight for everyone, and in fighting for everyone, you cannot help but fight not for yourself. Without such conflict, we would never grow to know each other as we know ourselves or know ourselves as others know themselves, even if this is just the greatest blindness of all—even if this is just the illusion of free will and individuality—even if we are just trapped in an infinitely fine-tuned chain reaction of seemingly endless events...

Mass Market Paperback

First published December 29, 2014

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