Forgive for Good: A Proven Prescription for Health and Happiness

by Fred Luskin

The Barnes & Noble Review
Are you suffering today over a past grievance? Perhaps someone really pulled a number on you, treated you unfairly, or did something really terrible to you or someone you love...and you can't find peace of mind because of it. If you spend a fair amount of your time and energy feeling angry, hurt, and resentful and think you'll never be able to forgive, then this book was written for you.

As a doctoral candidate at Stanford, the author, Dr. Fred Luskin, developed a research project that was designed to see if certain methods can be effective in helping people to forgive so that they could move on to live healthier, fuller lives. The project was so successful that the Stanford University Forgiveness Project was founded. Through his hands-on research, Dr. Luskin has helped thousands of people learn how to forgive. The stories in this book run the gamut -- from people who have lost children to violence or were cheated on by a spouse, to those that were passed over for a long-coveted promotion, were neglected as a child, lied to, or stolen from. The thing they all had in common is that the pain they experienced from these events was something they thought they would never be able to move past. But they did.

In Forgive for Good you, too, will learn:

What forgiveness really is
How grievances are created
Specific techniques and meditations designed to help you focus, de-stress, and forgive
The four stages of becoming a forgiving person
The nine steps to forgiveness
How forgiveness can change your life


The most compelling stories in the book are those of the people Dr. Luskin worked with from Northern Ireland who had lost family members to political violence. The tragedies related were horrific and senseless. Yet through the techniques in this book, these people were, indeed, able to forgive. Forgiveness takes time and care, and there is no quick fix. If you need to forgive, learn how now. Be the hero of your own life story, not the victim. (Jennifer Forman)

Genres: Nonfiction, Self Help, Psychology, Personal Development, Spirituality, Mental Health, Health

240 pages, Hardcover

First published December 24, 2001

About the author

In the Forgive for Good workshop and class series Dr. Frederic Luskin presents the forgiveness training methodology that has been validated through six successful research studies conducted through the Stanford Forgiveness Projects.

Prior to the current surge in research interest the importance of practicing forgiveness was extolled in both religious and psychological traditions. Recently, Dr. Luskin’s and other’s research has confirmed its virtues in the promotion of psychological, relationship and physical health. Forgiveness has been shown to reduce anger, hurt, depression and stress and lead to greater feelings of optimism, hope, compassion and self confidence.

Dr. Luskin’s work combines lecture with a hands-on approach to the ancient tradition of forgiveness. Participants explore forgiveness with the goal of reducing hurt and helplessness, letting go of anger and increasing confidence and hope as they learn how to release unwanted hurts and grudges. His presentations explore the HEAL process of forgiveness that, when learned, can lead to enhanced well-being through self-care. In class practice may include guided imagery, journal writing and discussion all presented in a safe and nurturing environment. Dr. Luskin holds a Ph.D. in Counseling and Health Psychology from Stanford University.

Dr. Luskin continues to serve as Director of the Stanford Forgiveness Projects, an ongoing series of workshops and research projects that investigate the effectiveness of his forgiveness methods on a variety of populations. The forgiveness project has successfully explored forgiveness therapy with people who suffered from the violence in Northern Ireland, Sierra Leone as well as the attacks on the World Trade Center on 9/11. In addition his work has been successfully applied and researched in corporate, medical, legal and religious settings. He currently serves as a Senior Consultant in Health Promotion at Stanford University and is a Professor at the Institute of Transpersonal Psychology. He presents lectures, workshops, seminars and trainings on the importance, health benefits and training of forgiveness, stress management and emotional competence throughout the United States. He offers presentations and classes that range from one hour to ongoing weekly trainings.

Reviews

[Suzy · Rating 4 out of 5]

this book is really amazing and it had some unexpected benefits. i was trying to figure out how to forgive intentionally when it was really hard for me, instead of just letting it happen naturally over time. this book taught me how to do that, but also, and more powerfully, it gave me the skill of actually forgiving while something i don't really like is going on, instead of letting it bother me in the first place. unbelievable!

even better, i learned how to forgive myself, which has allowed me to get back to projects i've flaked out on instead of just feeling endlessly guilty and giving up on them.

one thing to remember though, is that you still get to have your version of the story if you have been harmed. you still get to be angry too. you've just got to let go of blame and see the big picture and find acceptance, which in the end feels great. it's a process, and you can't force yourself to forgive before you're ready. but even after you forgive, you don't have to give up your version of the story. i don't think this book emphasizes that enough.

and keep setting boundaries! for crying out loud, don't let people walk all over you. but i think that part of forgiving people and expecting them to be human and make mistakes is that it helps you get better at trusting people to be themselves, rather than trusting them to do what you'd like them to do, and then getting angry.

in other words, if your buddy is usually a caustic asshole to you, trust him to hurt your feelings. but if he'd give you the shirt off his back when you need it, you can trust him to do that too.

[booklady · Rating 5 out of 5]

What is forgiveness?

'Forgiveness is the feeling of peace that emerges as you take your hurt less personally, take responsibility for how you feel, and become a hero instead of a victim in the story you tell. Forgiveness is the experience of peace in the present moment. Forgiveness does not change the past, but it changes the present. Forgiveness means that even though you are wounded you choose to hurt and suffer less. Forgiveness means you become a part of the solution. Forgiveness is the understanding that hurt is a normal part of life. Forgiveness is for you and no one else.' pp.68-69

[Laurie · Rating 4 out of 5]

"Of the seven deadly sins, anger is possibly the most fun.

To lick your wounds, to smack your lips over grievances long past, to roll over
your tongue the prospect of bitter confrontations still to come, to savor to the
last toothsome morsel both the pain you are given and the pain you are giving
back--in many ways it is a feast fit for a king.

The chief drawback is what you are wolfing down is yourself.

The skeleton at the feast is you."

Frederick Buechner

This quote says it all.

Luskin helped me to see that any grievance or grudge, no matter how small, when it takes up room in your mind, prevents you from totally being in the moment and enjoying your life.
His techniques on how to let the grievance go are very helpful.

After learning the "Sedona Method", where they tell you to just "let it go", it is nice to have specific tools to help including:

Breath of Thanks, Heart Focus, PERT and HEAL. They are all effective.

The bottom line is if you want to feel better, you need to forgive even the smallest slight. Your distress is coming from the upset you are feeling now, now what offended you in the past. That includes forgiving yourself as well.

As the famous saying goes: "Forgiveness means giving up all hope for a better past".

[Katrien · Rating 5 out of 5]

This book was a real eye-opener, especially if you've been left with wounds from someone's cruel or mean actions. It addresses those moments when people act in deeply unkind ways, leaving us struggling to heal. Luskin shows that while we can’t control others' hurtful behavior, we do have the power to choose how we respond and heal from these experiences.

One major takeaway is learning not to take these actions too personally. We might never understand why someone acts so harshly — it could stem from their own struggles or a different perspective. Realizing this doesn’t excuse their behavior but helps loosen the grip of resentment, allowing us to move forward. Luskin emphasizes that holding onto anger keeps us stuck, while forgiveness frees us to reclaim our peace and focus on our well-being.

For me, this book helped reflect on some intense moments from my past and gave me tools to support those around me dealing with similar struggles. It provides practical steps for guiding others through their own healing process, helping them release the pain of cruel actions.

Forgiving someone doesn't mean condoning their cruelty. It’s about not letting their meanness control our lives anymore. It’s a way to build resilience and prevent the unkind actions of others from dictating our happiness.

In sum, this book is a practical guide for anyone struggling with the aftermath of cruel behavior. It offers valuable insights on letting go, healing, and taking back control of your future. If you’re looking for resilience and inner peace — both for yourself and to help others — this book is a must-read.

[Andrea Seydel · Rating 5 out of 5]

When someone you care about hurts you, you can hold on to anger, resentment and thoughts of revenge — or you can embrace forgiveness and move forward.

Who hasn't been hurt by the actions or words of another? Perhaps a parent repeatedly criticized you growing up, a colleague sabotaged a project, or your partner hid a drug addiction. Or maybe you've had a traumatic experience, such as being physically or emotionally abused by someone close to you. These wounds can leave you with lasting feelings of anger and bitterness — even vengeance. Perhaps we feel that, in principle, we have to oppose this injustice. So we can get stuck in our suffering.
In his book Forgive For Good, Dr. Luskin talks about all the power of Forgiveness and offers very practical, easy-to-use techniques to lessen the suffering in our lives. This book offers startling new insight into the healing powers and medical benefits of Forgiveness based on scientific research.

As Luskin cleverly puts it, grievance stories are "renting too much space to disappointment."

[فـي قبضتــه السحــاب !!؟ · Rating 3 out of 5]

في البدايه أشوف أن عنوان الكتاب غير جذاب ولا يشبه محتواه.. والصراحه أنا اشتريته مضطرا كوني دخلت المكتبه وهي على وشك الإغلاق فلم أشاء العودة خالي الوفاض فما كان مني الا أن انتشلت هذا الكتاب من عند المحاسب.. الا اني عندما قرأته وأدركت فكرته قدرته كثيرا وحقيقة كان مقنع ومؤثر واستفدت منه

فكرة الكتاب :

تقولك ركز في المستقبل أكثر وإترك عنك الماضي فلن تغير فيه شيئا

أعتقد العنوان يفترض ان يكون العفو خير لكم وليس خيرا لكم؟

فقرات من الكتاب
--------------
.. استئجار مساحة كبيره لخيبة الامل
 عقلك منزلك.. فلمن تؤجر الغرفة الرئيسية والملحق وكل الغرف
أحداث حياتك كشاشة المسئول عن حركة الطيران.. مظالمك تمثل طائرات لن تهبط تملأ الشاشة وتشغل عقلك وتفقدك تركيزك.. فدع الطائرات القديمة تهبط لتتمكن من التركيز على الطائرات القادمه
ما يظهر في مخيلتنا يشبه ما نختاره على التلفزيون وما نشاهده دائما يصبح عادة.. رعب. مشاكل.. ترفيه
كيميائيات الضغط يفرزها الجسم عادة استعدادا للكر او الفر وهي تسحب الدم من مواطن التفكير واسترجاعنا لاحداث قديمه يحرض الجسم على هذه الافرازات فاجسامنا لا تدرك هل الحدث الان ام في الماضي
العقل يصنف الذكريات في مجموعات (الاحزان ، الافراح..) ومن حين لاخر يقوم باسترجاع كل الاحداث الماضية التي تواكب حالتنا النفسية الحاليه
واخيرا.. العفو لا يعني التغاضي عن السلوك الخاطيء ولا يعني مسامحة المخطيء وانما العفو الذي اردناه يعني التعامل مع الحاضر اما الماضي فقد انتهى
وفي نهاية الكتاب بيعطيك خطة العفو
--
 في البدايه بتحس انه حايس وتكرار كثير وانا كنت افضل لو المؤلف اعطاه لشخص أقدر منه صياغة إن لم يكن الخلل من الترجمة

[Michelle · Rating 3 out of 5]

The content of this book was so disorganized. And like all self-help and business books, it all could have been said in a much shorter time. In fact, I even found the main points towards the end and wished I'd just read those. You can also find them here: http://learningtoforgive.com/9-steps/

I liked the metaphors Luskin uses, such as seeing our grudges as space we could be using that is being rented out to old grievances. My only remaining question that I wish I could pose to Mr. Luskin is this:

If my rules have been too unenforcable and have lead to being hurt, washing away all those rules leads me to have a trust problem, doesn't it, because then I have no expectations whatsoever because I think everyone will let me down . . . where's the happy medium?

[Jane · Rating 3 out of 5]

This book made my teeth hurt. The author seemed to think his audience was a bunch of inattentive six-year olds, there was so much repetition. Every time I came across the expression "don't rent this or that any space in your mind" - and this happened every six pages or so - I was tempted to quit. He beats you over the head with example and after example, and he uses stupid and unnecessary acronyms. However bad a writer Luskin is, though, he has excellent advice on the whys and wherefores of forgiveness. I found it well worth slogging through the mushy writing.

[Carlos · Rating 3 out of 5]

Good book, but I felt like he was trying too hard to prove that his "classes" were worth taking...and blah blah. He did make very good points on forgiving, anger, etc...but left me even more confused because he tells personal stories of 5 different people and how they struggled with forgiving, but once they took his "class, lecture" they felt much better and relieved. See where am I going. I would've liked him to just get straight to the point.

[Sunshine · Rating 4 out of 5]

This is a good book to shift a perspective on how one sees hurt and pain. It helped me to be more aware of 1. what is in my control and what is not, 2. When I expect something from someone (without discussing the involved expectations) I sign someone else up for something that they have not agreed to. They might agree if we discuss but no way to know. Then when the expectation is broken, it is very easy to get hurt. 3. Not taking things personally. The book has good exercises- focusing on positive, creating a long term positive goal for oneself, not renting space to hurt and pain.
Overall very useful tips. A lot of the content comes from meditation, mindfulness and yoga but the book is written in a more scientific manner rather than philosophical.

[Melissa Yael Winston · Rating 3 out of 5]

Some worthwhile information about how holding a grudge affects us physically, emotionally and spiritually. Most evidence was presented as anecdotes, and after a point it got confusing what each person was upset about and what he/she learned from forgiveness training. Also the acronyms seemed a bit campy and took away from the seriousness of the message.

The chapter on self-forgiveness seemed like an afterthought. But in my experience a large part of not being able to forgive others is intertwined with not being able to forgive oneself.

[Cara · Rating 5 out of 5]

This is such a helpful book! Not just for forgiveness, but for disappointment, for learning to be happy when things don't go your way and learning not to rent out space in your brain for things that are not serving you. I think everyone needs to read this book!

[Amy · Rating 5 out of 5]

So much valuable information in this book from the grievance stories we create, to the unenforceable rules we try to live by, to learning the PERT (Positive Emotion Refocusing Technique) and HEAL (Hope, Educate, Affirm, Long-term) methods, to the Nine Steps To Forgiveness. Life can only get better when we learn to forgive one another and ourselves.

[Tom · Rating 5 out of 5]

This is an amazing book, worth reading and applying. It is not about condoning other people's behavior; it's about moving past it. Do you want to let go of thoughts based on past wounds? Fred Luskin will show you how.

He tells you how to embody a philosophy of forgiveness. The main point is to own your own narrative, but have this narrative be healthy. It may not be easy to get there, so the first steps may be small.

The author quotes the later Stoic authors directly in chapter epigraphs: Epictetus, Marcus Aurelius (listed as Marcus Antonius), Seneca. His main point is that while we have been hurt in the past, continuing to think about it still causes us pain. And as Marcus Aurelius says, "if you are distressed by anything external, the pain is not due to the thing itself, but to your estimate of it; and this you have the power to revoke at any moment."

But how do we do this, how do we revoke our estimate of it? Forgive for Good has the answer.

[Megan · Rating 5 out of 5]

Life-changing.
I have never read such clear, compelling reasons to forgive (hint: for yourself and your own health and happiness). He gives real, concrete steps to forgiving. One thing that really struck me was his explanation of unenforceable rules. i.e., I can demand someone treat me kindly, but there is nothing I can do to make them. But when I hope they will treat me kindly, I put the emphasis on my response which I can control not on their actions which I can't control. He also does a great job of explaining that forgiving is not becoming a doormat, it is choosing to be in control of my responses and actions but that my choices are much clearer or more powerful when I do it with forgiveness.

I'd love to take one of his classes someday.

[Ross Aalgaard · Rating 4 out of 5]

The book is a good read, although the writing is not all that great. What makes it good is the timeless truth regarding forgiveness and the practical ways suggested for people live within forgiveness. I will recommend it to others.

[Lisa · Rating 4 out of 5]

Useful message though the writing is repetitive. If you meditate or study Buddhism at all, some of his message will sound familiar. If you read nothing else, see the chapter on unenforceable rules. That really opened my eyes.

[Hamza Hamza · Rating 4 out of 5]

Required reading for all practicing and aspiring psychologists.

[Jalaluddin Abdullah · Rating 5 out of 5]

This book, "Forgive for Good", it's an evidence-based approach that will help your "planes to land" -- all those thoughts swirling in your head about what happened, why it hurt then, and how it still hurts. The examples in the book are about people who have moved on from some of the most hurtful, sad, and difficult situations imaginable.

This is not about absolving wrongdoing; it IS about helping you to stop spending so much brainpower on it. I can tell you that after spending a weekend reading the book, taking notes, and doing the exercises, I looked outside, and the world looked like a different, better place.

My one complaint about the book is that it was hard for me to see the sequence of steps that would, in the end, help me to move beyond the place where I was stuck. At times the book was repetitive and the connections between steps in the process were a little unclear -- it could have used some graphics, bulleted lists, and editing to make it more user-friendly. I am sharing my distillation here. But do get the book, as it will flesh this out, and the examples will help you to feel that you are not alone in this journey.

The book points out that a big reason why we feel hurt is that we all have "unenforceable rules" that we expect others to uphold. They may be basic rules, such as, if you're my partner, you should be honest and open with me. Regardless, it's not in our power to make other people behave the way we want to.

When people break our unenforceable rules, we "write tickets," that is, we get mad, frustrated, and hurt. Even though the events happened in the past, we can hurt in the here and now.

If you want that hurting to stop and land the planes, the book tells you what to do. This is *my* adaptation, which may not be the precise steps the author had in mind, but it worked beautifully for me:

AT THE HURT POINT - the moment you realize you're remembering a hurt and going down that familiar path--

1) STOP and ASK: What was the unenforceable rule that I was trying to enforce, and that I am still holding on to? (Ex: My partner should have ....)

2) CHANGE your thinking about what was a *demand* to a *desire*: Change "he/she should have ..." to "I wished or hoped that he/she would have ..." All we can do is hope -- we can't demand that people behave or feel a certain way. When you change your demand to a desire, it is a reminder that we are not in charge of others' behavior. This is liberating.

3) Take two deep belly breaths, and on the third, summon a tranquil scene or a peaceful feeling of gratitude. Hold that thought for a little while continuing to breathe deeply. (The book gives you guidance on how to practice this ahead of time. It makes a difference. You can choose to focus more on the things that ARE working in your life.)

4) Repeat the "HEAL" process - Although the book suggests this is an "advanced" activity, I found it helpful right from the beginning. Tell yourself the following:

H - state what you HOPED for -- the specific, small goal (Ex: I wished, at the time, that the relationship w/ X would have worked out)

E - EDUCATE yourself about the limits in life and the impersonal aspects of the hurt (Ex: (a) Things don't always work out in life; (b) it's common that people get hurt; (c) people don't always *intend* to hurt you; and (d) sometimes people are incapable of behaving the way we want because of their limitations)

A - AFFIRM is the bigger goal. (With a relationship breakup, for example, the bigger goal would have a loving, lasting relationship built on openness and trust - with *someone.* This specific past relationship was a flat tire along the way. These techniques help you fix the flat, and when you're ready, you can continue to drive down the road toward the bigger goal.)

L - LONG-term commitment -- tell yourself you will repeat this process each and every time you have thoughts about the past hurt, for as long as it takes.

I found this technique to be very helpful in countering all the negative thoughts that can come up after a breakup. For me, within a few days, the hurts didn't have the power they used to. After a couple of weeks, I felt that the past was finally behind me, instead of dogging my present. Give it a try -- and help your planes to land, too!

[Keelin Rita]

I came across this as I was scouring hoopla, and I thought I would give it a shot. I am very happy to report that this discusses forgiveness, and the method to forgive, without religion or a religious tone. This is just the science of forgiveness and nothing more. Good, good, good. I think the method that Luskin outlines is pretty easy to remember and is actually quite helpful. There is a bit of preamble before you get to the meat and potatoes, but I understand, you gotta set the scene. Luskin makes a point to say that his technique can't be done when you're too close to the inciting incident. That if you are betrayed on Monday, you're not going to find relief doing this on Wednesday. Which is interesting and makes sense I guess. I was reflecting on a particular experience I had as I was reading this, and I found that what he outlines was true to my experience. Which only made me more willing to hear what he had to say. There's also a chapter in here dedicated to self-forgiveness, and I want to share one of the points he mentions there.

"Recognize the unenforceable rules you have that demand you be lovable and competent at all times. Remind yourself that every single human being makes mistakes and has much to learn. Remind yourself that no one is a failure. Each of us is only someone who was unable to successfully accomplish something at a particular place and time."

I really appreciated Luskin's list of what forgiveness isn't. Forgiveness is not condoning unkindness, forgetting that something painful happened, excusing poor behavior, or denying or minimizing your hurt. It does not have to be an otherworldly or religious experience. It does not mean reconciling with the offender, it does not mean you give up having feelings. Forgiveness is an inner peace, a calm, an end to the grievance story that you tell yourself and others.

[Celestial_dragon · Rating 4 out of 5]

This book is really helpful if you are stuck ruminating on past hurts, holding onto grievances, and find yourself being angry for days over some perceived slight. The author discusses the damage inflicted by holding onto grievances to health and happiness. It really helped me put things into perspective. I realized how much time I've wasted holding on to past hurts and retelling "my story". I realized this kept me a victim most of my life to this person who hurt me. That person still lived in my head! I now see myself as a hero who has overcome adversity and come out better and stronger.

The book is very repetitive and tedious in places. The author repeats the same points over and over which I found tiring by the time I got to Part Three in which he finally lays out "his" techniques for forgiveness. (I realize he's trying to reinforce the ideas in the book) His forgiveness techniques include meditating on your breath while thinking grateful thoughts and heart focus which is basically a compassion or lovingkindness meditation. Then he uses acronyms for his method (HEAL and PERT). I feel this made the explanation of the process more complicated than it had to be.

Still the book is very helpful and makes very good points and is worth reading. In my opinion it could be made much shorter and still be effective.

[Simon · Rating 4 out of 5]

Grievances. We've all had them. We all have active ones. Small and large. The size of them don't matter. They're all unavoidable. Life sucks and then you die, they say.

What does matter is how you experience, process and come to accept the sucking parts of life. How long you carry your grievances around with you matters.

You can carry them around forever or for a short period. The choice is yours, says Dr Fred Luskin. And he's right. He convinces you he's right with a well-laid out explanation of how grievances are accrued and how they can be released, or forgiven.

It's not about forgiving the offender. It's about allowing yourself to forgive, in order to focus on "creating your future, not lamenting your past".

He has plenty of actual examples from affairs, to broken families, to drug-abusing partners and more.

There are so many simple and compelling statements in this book that affirm the value in forgiveness. Great read for anyone wanting to find the ability to forgive an event in their life and "move on" or with someone in their life that needs support to do this, or if you need someone else to forgive you for a wrong you have done.

[Rebecca · Rating 5 out of 5]

I am both happy and sad as I write this review and here's why. I am happy because I was so glad I found "Forgive For Good". I'm sad because it was published over 20 years ago!! This is a timeless resource so it didn't matter to me that it was written a while ago.

This book has been life changing for me. I had no idea it would have the immense positive effect on me that it did. It’s way more than just a book about forgiveness. I feel like I have a much better grasp understanding why our minds can bind us to the past and holds our hearts hostage- even when we want to move forward.

The things the author recommends really work!!

I admit that there were a few paragraphs that I skimmed over and one chapter in particular I didn't have a lot of interest in because I felt like the author was taking a little bit too much time at that point in his writings defending his works. In my opinion he didn't need to since he had me convinced.

I read the electronic version and then I purchased my own paper copy so that I could underline and take notes. Yes, it's that good.

[Margarita · Rating 4 out of 5]

I’ve been on a healing journey now for a while and one area where I continue to struggle is with forgiveness. My original understanding of forgiveness – as a “free pass” – is a misguided one. Dr. Luskin addresses forgiveness in pragmatic terms and it’s important to note that forgiveness has nothing to do with the other person. He first explains how we come to create a grievance story – we try to enforce an unenforceable rule, and in so doing , we are hurt, we take the hurt personally and we then lay blame. Once formed, we can become stuck repeating this grievance story over and over again. Dr. Luskin’s book provides easy-to-understand steps on how to break free from one’s grievance story. Forgiveness is in the breaking free. Forgiveness achieves peace and calm. Forgiveness is in deciding to become the hero of your story (by applying lessons learned, having a growth mindset) instead of staying the victim.

[Sarah Blizzard · Rating 3 out of 5]

As far as forgiveness is concerned, I believe we can always use more help learning best practices that aid in letting go. Through the years I’ve had ample reasons to hold resentments and it’s been a detrimental practice. I’ve also been one who needs to be forgiven, and that’s why I checked out this book. The author has done his homework. He has created acronyms to remember techniques that can help shape our thought processes, and his ultimate goal is to free the reader to live a healthy, full life. Without the burden of unforgiven strongholds that take up too much space in our emotions, we can pursue our God-given dreams to become our best selves. The book leaned a bit too much on the academic for me, but overall was helpful.

[Nguyen Luan · Rating 5 out of 5]

Enjoy a better quality of life. This book will show you everything you want in your life, I'd recommend it to anyone. I have extracted from the book some paragraphs that I like best in order to introduce this good book to the readers. You can read these interesting quotes prior to making a decision to read the whole book....!

"We choose forgiveness because..."

"These exercises give best results when practiced often."

Thanks and Wish you and your family health and success.

[Heidi · Rating 4 out of 5]

This was a well-written, research-based book giving practical ideas and strategies to help us forgive those who have wronged/hurt/offended us. Fred Luskin is the director of the Stanford Forgiveness Project, and spent years teaching his strategies to a number of individuals who had experienced significant loss, conflict, pain, etc. I was going to give it 5 stars because I thought the first few chapters were really powerful and described helpful, practical strategies. However, he cites a few too many examples for my liking, and I'm not sure his methods (PERT and HEAL) are going to be effective - but I'm wiling to try.

[Silvia Alice Botelho · Rating 5 out of 5]

This book was recommended to me by my therapist and I think it is just excellent. We often listen in churches or in life that we have to forgive (what) but not how to forgive. Dr. Luskin walks us slowly through the process. I love the exercises and the reminders along the way.

Forgiveness is a process, and I love the pace of the book. I've learnt a lot and I can say I am a healthier person after working with the exercises and guidance of Dr. Luskin on this book.

The only caveat is the grammar errors but it doesn't take the value of the content. I am recommending to all my friends!

[Jane · Rating 2 out of 5]

I had heard of the Stanford Forgiveness Project and it seemed intriguing so I got this book but honestly I don't know how many people he's going to be able to help with this book that was so tedious and repetitive it was almost physically painful to read. I forgive him for being a terrible writer but I don't know that I can recommend anyone else subject themself to what should have been a one page brochure. Like this book was so bad it might make me angry if I hadn't just learned how to forgive for good.

[Charlotte · Rating 2 out of 5]

A few good mental exercises and interesting discussion of the meaning/definition of certain aspects of forgiveness, but lacked useful information about productive responses to the very real damage that can be inflicted on or by people we love. Relationships aren't just magically repaired by not "allowing [someone] to live rent-free in your head". I am also curious as to what exactly is wrong with *not* forgiving certain acts, if the unforgiveness does not impede someone from functioning normally. I'm not a very receptive audience for self-help type books, though, so it might just be me.