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The Dance of Anger / The Dance of Intimacy / The Dance of Deception
Libro usado en buenas condiciones, por su antiguedad podria contener señales normales de uso
255 pages, Paperback
First published January 1, 2003
8 people are currently reading
1064 people want to read
About the author
Harriet Lerner
68 books974 followersDr. Harriet Lerner, Ph.D. (Clinical Psychology, City University of New York; M.A. Educational Psychology, Columbia University Teachers College), was born and raised in Brooklyn, New York, the second of two daughters. Her parents, Archie and Rose Goldhor, were both children of Russian-Jewish immigrant parents. They were high school graduates who wanted their daughters to "be someone" at a time when women were only supposed to "find someone."
"Achievement was next to Godliness for my sister, Susan, and me." Harriet notes. "My father would talk about ‘My daughters the doctors’ while we were still in our strollers."
Growing up, Harriet and Susan spent weekends at the Brooklyn Botanical Garden, the Brooklyn Public Library and the Brooklyn Museum. "These places were free and just a subway token away."
Lerner's mother had an unwavering belief in her daughters and strong principles about how to raise children. In Harriet's words:
"Even during the hardest economic times my mother, Rose, made sure that Susan and I had four things that she believed were essential to our later success:
1. Good shoes (I don't mean stylish)
2. A firm, quality mattress
3. A top pediatrician (none other than Doctor Benjamin Spock);
4. A therapist
Unlike other parents of the day who considered therapy to be a last resort of the mentally ill, my mother thought it was a learning experience. She put me in therapy before I was three, after obtaining a health insurance policy that provided weekly therapy sessions for one dollar. I later joked that my mother would send me to a therapist if I came home from school with anything less than a B plus. I was exaggerating, but only a little bit. "
Her mother's belief in therapy undoubtedly contributed to Lerner's career choice. She decided to become a clinical psychologist before finishing kindergarten - a decision she never veered from.
EDUCATION AND CAREER
Lerner attended local public schools in Brooklyn including Midwood High School. She did her undergraduate work at the University of Wisconsin at Madison, where she majored in psychology and Indian studies. She spent her junior year studying and doing research in Delhi, India. Lerner received an M.A. in educational psychology from Teachers' College of Columbia University and a Ph.D. in clinical psychology from the City University of New York. It was there that she met and later married Steve Lerner, also a clinical psychologist.
Harriet and Steve did a pre-doctoral internship at Mt. Zion Hospital in San Francisco and moved to Topeka, Kansas in 1972 for a two-year postdoctoral training program at the Menninger Foundation, where they subsequently joined the staff.
"We always planned to move back to Berkeley or New York,” says Lerner. “But two years in Topeka turned into two decades - and then some.” She now identifies herself as a Kansan and claims to have overcome her coastal arrogance. She has grown to love the simple life (meaning she has never had to learn to parallel park) and the big open skies. After Menninger closed shop in Topeka and moved to Houston, Lerner and her husband moved to Lawrence, Kansas where they currently have a private practice. They have two sons, Matt and Ben.
Lerner is best known for her scholarly work on the psychology of women and family relationships, and for her many best-selling books. Feminism and family systems theory continue to inform her writing. She has dedicated her writing life to translating complex theory into accessible and useful prose, and has become one of our nation's most trusted and respected relationship experts.
Lerner's books have been published in more than thirty-five foreign editions. Her latest book (January 2012) is Marriage Rules: A Manual for the Married and the Coupled Up.
HONORS AND AWARDS (PARTIAL LISTING)
New York Distinguished Honor, National Anger Management Association
Kansas Distinguished Award for Literature
William Allen
"Achievement was next to Godliness for my sister, Susan, and me." Harriet notes. "My father would talk about ‘My daughters the doctors’ while we were still in our strollers."
Growing up, Harriet and Susan spent weekends at the Brooklyn Botanical Garden, the Brooklyn Public Library and the Brooklyn Museum. "These places were free and just a subway token away."
Lerner's mother had an unwavering belief in her daughters and strong principles about how to raise children. In Harriet's words:
"Even during the hardest economic times my mother, Rose, made sure that Susan and I had four things that she believed were essential to our later success:
1. Good shoes (I don't mean stylish)
2. A firm, quality mattress
3. A top pediatrician (none other than Doctor Benjamin Spock);
4. A therapist
Unlike other parents of the day who considered therapy to be a last resort of the mentally ill, my mother thought it was a learning experience. She put me in therapy before I was three, after obtaining a health insurance policy that provided weekly therapy sessions for one dollar. I later joked that my mother would send me to a therapist if I came home from school with anything less than a B plus. I was exaggerating, but only a little bit. "
Her mother's belief in therapy undoubtedly contributed to Lerner's career choice. She decided to become a clinical psychologist before finishing kindergarten - a decision she never veered from.
EDUCATION AND CAREER
Lerner attended local public schools in Brooklyn including Midwood High School. She did her undergraduate work at the University of Wisconsin at Madison, where she majored in psychology and Indian studies. She spent her junior year studying and doing research in Delhi, India. Lerner received an M.A. in educational psychology from Teachers' College of Columbia University and a Ph.D. in clinical psychology from the City University of New York. It was there that she met and later married Steve Lerner, also a clinical psychologist.
Harriet and Steve did a pre-doctoral internship at Mt. Zion Hospital in San Francisco and moved to Topeka, Kansas in 1972 for a two-year postdoctoral training program at the Menninger Foundation, where they subsequently joined the staff.
"We always planned to move back to Berkeley or New York,” says Lerner. “But two years in Topeka turned into two decades - and then some.” She now identifies herself as a Kansan and claims to have overcome her coastal arrogance. She has grown to love the simple life (meaning she has never had to learn to parallel park) and the big open skies. After Menninger closed shop in Topeka and moved to Houston, Lerner and her husband moved to Lawrence, Kansas where they currently have a private practice. They have two sons, Matt and Ben.
Lerner is best known for her scholarly work on the psychology of women and family relationships, and for her many best-selling books. Feminism and family systems theory continue to inform her writing. She has dedicated her writing life to translating complex theory into accessible and useful prose, and has become one of our nation's most trusted and respected relationship experts.
Lerner's books have been published in more than thirty-five foreign editions. Her latest book (January 2012) is Marriage Rules: A Manual for the Married and the Coupled Up.
HONORS AND AWARDS (PARTIAL LISTING)
New York Distinguished Honor, National Anger Management Association
Kansas Distinguished Award for Literature
William Allen
Ratings & Reviews
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Community Reviews
Displaying 1 - 9 of 9 reviews
May 7, 2019
And another one for the "books that changed my life" - shelf.
In my opinion, there is no force more imperative in our lives and no topic more fascinating than family dynamics from a systems perspective. Literally everything in our lives,
from the macro - historic and geopolitical developments, cultural trends -
to the micro - choice of profession, mate or whether or not your individual daily habits support your health -
everything is fundamentally influenced by the psychological dynamics that shaped people's upbringing and the role they had to fulfill within those systems.
All the fiction books I love, really love, in one way or another, touch on this. For me, a well-developed character will always only make sense if the author explores - and lets me see and feel -the system that shaped them.
Harriet Lerner is extremely gifted in breaking down complicated family systems theory in small, tangible, moving stories, that might offer you insight into your own entanglements.
And that insight might give you a bit more space, some wee bit more wiggle room, to maneuver your relationships a little more flexibly and less constrained by the dynamics that shaped every fiber of your being.
Highly recommended.
In my opinion, there is no force more imperative in our lives and no topic more fascinating than family dynamics from a systems perspective. Literally everything in our lives,
from the macro - historic and geopolitical developments, cultural trends -
to the micro - choice of profession, mate or whether or not your individual daily habits support your health -
everything is fundamentally influenced by the psychological dynamics that shaped people's upbringing and the role they had to fulfill within those systems.
All the fiction books I love, really love, in one way or another, touch on this. For me, a well-developed character will always only make sense if the author explores - and lets me see and feel -the system that shaped them.
Harriet Lerner is extremely gifted in breaking down complicated family systems theory in small, tangible, moving stories, that might offer you insight into your own entanglements.
And that insight might give you a bit more space, some wee bit more wiggle room, to maneuver your relationships a little more flexibly and less constrained by the dynamics that shaped every fiber of your being.
Highly recommended.
June 7, 2017
به نام شعله های خشم مهدی قرچه داغی ترجمه اش کرده . به خواندنش می ارزد.
September 29, 2019
I FEEL VERY ATTACKED RIGHT NOW
But forreal this book hit every nail on the head for me. I found it insightful and honest about the female experience and societal standards. I will definitely be ordering this and recommending it to every woman I know.
But forreal this book hit every nail on the head for me. I found it insightful and honest about the female experience and societal standards. I will definitely be ordering this and recommending it to every woman I know.
May 5, 2022
I'd say however against this type of books you are, self-help I mean, is not the same as reading Napoleon Hill, this lady actually knows what she's talking about, She has been a PhD. in Psychology and therapist for many years and when I hear how she talks about women struggling for more independence, I feel like she really points towards what hurts. I really enjoyed and learned from the book, example-based at every step and really down to earth, maybe too down to earth...I guess that would be the only negative; I would have enjoyed a little more science, a bit more statistics...
If you are listening to the audio format, like I did, she's the one narrating it. Enjoy!
If you are listening to the audio format, like I did, she's the one narrating it. Enjoy!
October 4, 2020
I loved, loved this book. But it's a ride.
July 3, 2009
If interested in reviews, I wrote reviews for the individual books.
April 3, 2012
A very good book to recommend to clients (psychotherapy & counseling) or anyone who is in search for a better understanding of themselves and human nature as a whole.
March 14, 2013
Its one that should be read several times
April 7, 2022
A profoundly difficult relationship with my ex-husband led me to this book. But I draw on the lessons as I meet with my clients and I find it a wonderful resource for my show as well.
Displaying 1 - 9 of 9 reviews