Right Behind the Rain

by Joyce Sweeney

Carla Bryce becomes concerned about her older brother, twenty-one-year-old Kevin, a talented, successful actor, singer, and dancer, when she discovers that the burden and stress of success is leading him to the breaking point

Genres: Young Adult, Fiction

150 pages, Hardcover

First published May 1, 1987

About the author

Joyce Sweeney captured the attention of the YA book world when her novel Center Line was chosen as the winner of the first Delacorte Press Prize for an Outstanding First Young Adult Novel in 1984. Since that auspicious beginning she has continued to publish appealing novels for teens on a variety of topics, among them friendships, family relationships, and self-discovery. Four of those novels have been named Best Books for Young Adults, four have been Quick Picks for Reluctant Young Adult Readers, and Booklist included Players among its Top Ten Sports Books in 2002.

Reviews

[Yuvaraj kothandaraman · Rating 4 out of 5]

🌧 The title comes from a song in Oklahoma!, the summer theater production that forms the heart of this novel. In the musical, there is a famous line about "the wind coming right behind the rain." This phrase becomes deeply meaningful in the book because it represents hope and renewal - after storms come clear skies. The main character Carla reflects on this imagery: "I always picture this huge field of grain, dripping water. Then a huge gust of wind rolls across it, leaving everything behind peaceful and clean." But more importantly, the title works on a deeper level as a metaphor for mental health and crisis. The "rain" represents Kevin's depression and suicidal thoughts, while the "wind right behind the rain" represents the help, support, and recovery that can come after someone faces their darkest moments. The title suggests that after suffering (the rain), there is hope and renewal waiting (the wind). It's about survival, about discovering strength during the darkest times, and about the possibility of healing.

🎭 "Right Behind the Rain" is a powerful young adult novel by Joyce Sweeney (published 1987) about two siblings - 21-year-old Kevin Bryce and his 17-year-old sister Carla. Kevin is exceptionally talented and successful: he is an accomplished dancer, actor, and singer who has just been accepted for a movie role while also being cast in a lead role in the summer production of Oklahoma! at a local theater. From the outside, Kevin appears to have everything going for him. But as the novel progresses, Carla begins to notice disturbing changes in her brother's behavior. He is losing weight, becoming increasingly pale and irritable, and showing signs of extreme stress. While their parents brush off his behavior as typical "artistic temperament" [moody behavior often associated with creative people], Carla watches her brother slowly unraveling under the pressure of his own perfectionism and the weight of others' expectations. What begins as a summer full of promise slowly becomes a story about depression, suicidal ideation [thoughts about death or suicide], and the profound bond between siblings. The novel is set primarily in Dayton, Ohio, during one summer and explores how a talented young person can be crushed by the pressure to always be the best, to never show weakness, and to fulfill everyone else's dreams.


PART ONE: THE BEGINNING - DREAMS AND EXPECTATIONS
The novel opens with Carla and her parents driving to pick up Kevin from the airport when he arrives home from dance school in California. Kevin's mother is thrilled, his father is skeptical about the money spent on "a barn for a dancing school." What Carla initially notices is that Kevin no longer has his usual healthy tan despite spending months in California - something their mother had been looking forward to hearing about. When Kevin arrives at the airport, Carla notices he has lost weight and something about him seems "hard to look at."

At the airport bar (The Pineapple Room), Kevin drops his big news: he has a movie role waiting for him in the fall. It's not a major part - only 2.6 minutes of screen time, no dialogue - but it's significant because he will be killed on screen in slow motion, and they specifically wanted a dancer because they want the death to look graceful. His character gives his seat to an old lady on a bus, establishing he is a "nice guy" before being shot by a woman who is mentally ill and seeking revenge on men who remind her of someone who attacked her. It is stunt work, so he gets paid union scale money [a set minimum amount paid to performers in unions]. Kevin's announcement surprises his mother with joy, makes his skeptical father suddenly respect his career choice, and excites everyone. Kevin seems happy and charming on the surface.

However, Carla notices immediately that something is wrong beneath the surface. When Kevin gives her a present - a beautiful wind-up butterfly toy with iridescent [shimmering] blue wings that makes no sound - he makes a strange comment: "It doesn't seem like I should be twenty-one either" when Carla mentions she's seventeen. This is an odd and unsettling thing to say.

A few days later, when the summer's massive heat wave arrives, Carla goes to watch Kevin at a summer stock theater rehearsal downtown. She discovers that Kevin has auditioned for and gotten a lead role in Oklahoma! - specifically the role of Jud Fry, who dies in the play. Kevin explains he has a dance solo in the first act and the lead in the crucial ballet sequence because he is the only dancer in the chorus with serious training.

PART TWO: WARNING SIGNS - THE CRACKS APPEAR
While helping Kevin practice at home, Carla has a serious conversation with him about his health. Kevin reluctantly reveals that he visited a psychiatrist [a doctor who treats mental illness] in California because he "hit somebody" - specifically Chuck Fredericks, his instructor and mentor who got him the movie part.

Kevin explains what happened: They were rehearsing a depressing play called "Terminal" about a man at a bus station who is considering suicide [intentionally ending one's own life]. The man searches for one happy person to give him a reason to live but meets only depressed, broken people. Kevin's character tells the suicidal man that he has terminal cancer [advanced stage cancer that cannot be cured] and is dying, at which point the man goes offstage and kills himself. For two weeks, Kevin had to rehearse this same scene over and over, watching someone mime suicide day after day.

Unable to bear it anymore, Kevin changed his lines to tell the character something uplifting instead - that he'd just won the Irish Sweepstakes [a lottery]. This made Chuck very angry because Chuck believed the playwright was his lover, and Kevin was being disrespectful to the original work. Chuck started yelling at Kevin about not being professional, and Kevin - in a moment of rage - hit him.

Later, Chuck (who was not hurt and was sympathetic to Kevin's stress) referred Kevin to a psychiatrist. The doctor told Kevin he was "obsessed with success" - worrying constantly about his career, fearing failure, and putting too much pressure on himself. The doctor said Kevin's age was "especially dangerous for a performer because I'm too young to be a success but old enough to worry about failure." The psychiatrist recommended Kevin learn to love himself regardless of whether he succeeds or fails, but Kevin is skeptical that he can ever do this.

After this confession, Kevin mentions something deeply troubling: He says maybe he should quit dancing entirely and just try to be an actor in California. He could get soap opera roles easily, he says, and have an easier life. Carla is shocked because she knows Kevin has told her many times that if he stopped training even for one day, he would lose everything he's built. His willingness to casually abandon his life's work is disturbing. When Carla pushes back, Kevin becomes evasive and says he's "just in the mood to say stupid things" and that he feels "just fine" and is "very happy."

PART THREE: SUMMER STOCK - THE PERFORMANCE BEGINS
As Kevin begins rehearsals in earnest for Oklahoma!, Carla becomes increasingly concerned. She observes several troubling incidents:

A piano student tells Carla that Kevin was crying while watching Mister Rogers [a children's television program], and when she arrived for her lesson, Kevin was sitting alone with his hands over his face, trying to hide that he'd been crying.

During a dress rehearsal, Kevin is practicing the lariat [rope] dance when he gets tangled in the rope and falls into the orchestra pit. Though he plays it off for laughs by pretending to shoot himself with a prop gun, Carla is terrified by how easily he made the suicide gesture and realizes his comment might not be just a joke.

PART FOUR: THE TURNING POINT - LOVE AND DISTRACTION
During rehearsals at Memorial Hall, Carla meets Randy Russell, the lighting engineer running the spotlight. They have a flirtatious, cute interaction, and Randy asks her out. Carla becomes interested in Randy and starts attending rehearsals more regularly, sitting with Randy in the light booth instead of with her parents.

Kevin notices Carla's interest in Randy and becomes jealous and angry. He sees Randy as a romantic rival and becomes territorial about his sister. This is one of the first times Carla fully sees how unstable Kevin's emotional state has become - he alternates between being charming and being irrationally furious.

Kevin and Carla also have a tender moment when Kevin, noticing Carla's sadness about her appearance, tells her she looks beautiful and should not worry about how she looks. He seems to have moments of genuine kindness and connection.

PART FIVE: DRESS REHEARSAL - THE FINAL BREAKING POINT
On opening night dress rehearsal, Kevin gives an extraordinary performance in the ballet sequence. The audience (though small, as it's just a rehearsal with some invited guests) is captivated by him. During the pas de deux [a dance for two people], Kevin appears weightless and perfect. When he falls "dead" from the gun shot, the audience gasps - they are genuinely distressed seeing his "perfect motion come to such an abrupt stop."

However, after the rehearsal ends, Kevin becomes enraged when he realizes Carla is planning to go home with Randy instead of with him. He screams at Carla, demanding "Are you coming with me or not?" When she refuses because she's frightened by his outburst, Kevin lunges at Randy and punches him hard in the stomach ("making a sickening sound, like wet cement"). Randy fights back, but Kevin is too strong and too angry. The fight is violent and shocking.

Randy is hurt and frightened, telling Carla that Kevin is dangerous and should be "put away somewhere." Kevin runs off, and Randy wants to call the police. Carla realizes the situation is critical.

PART SIX: THE CRISIS - DISCOVERING THE PLAN
Carla convinces Randy to drive her home immediately because she knows Kevin should not be alone. When she arrives at the house, she finds Kevin sitting on the window seat in his dark bedroom, and she sees he is holding a gun.

Carla's hands-on experience comes from a telemarketing call she received earlier about suicide prevention [help to stop people from killing themselves]. She tries to remember what the telephone counselor told her to do: get him to talk, keep him engaged.

Kevin is in a dark psychological state. He tells Carla:

He doesn't like himself

He is tired of "being such a dream come true"

Everyone only wants to be near him for his luck or talent

He has to "put on a show, night and day"

He is sick of it all

He cannot see any "other way out"

When Carla asks him how long he's felt this way, he responds: "All my life?"

He explains that since he started dancing as a child, he has been trapped. Everyone knows what he is capable of. If he quits, he will look like a coward - not just to others, but to himself. He feels he cannot stop. But he also cannot continue. He is completely trapped with no escape except one.

He is planning to shoot himself.

PART SEVEN: THE MOMENT OF INTERVENTION - CARLA'S CHOICE
Carla, seventeen years old, realizes her brother is seriously suicidal and has a plan and the means to carry it out. She does not panic or call for help or call the police. Instead, she talks to him. She asks him questions. She tells him that:

He is scaring her

He has been scaring her all summer with his behavior

He is being selfish by only thinking about himself

If he does this, he will wreck everyone's life - not just his own

Mom and Dad would never get over it

She loves him and cares about him

Crucially, she asks him to put the gun down. Kevin refuses at first, but after several moments, he does set it aside. Just having the gun removed from his immediate control helps calm him enough to cry and talk.

Carla tells Kevin he must call a doctor immediately - not when he gets to California, not eventually, but the very next day. Kevin agrees.

PART EIGHT: THE SECRET - HIDING THE GUN
While Kevin sleeps that night, Carla makes an adult decision that will define the rest of her life. She knows that if her parents find out Kevin tried to commit suicide, they will send him away or treat him differently. She also knows that Kevin needs to seek help voluntarily, not be forced into it.

So, at 3:30 in the morning, Carla wraps the gun in three layers of baby clothes and carries it fourteen blocks from home, where she drops it into a storm drain. She disposes of the evidence of her brother's suicide attempt.

When she returns home, instead of going to bed, she sits on the front porch in the pre-dawn darkness. She is not frightened - she is proud. She realizes that something inside her has "finally lit up." After seventeen years of living in her brother's shadow, being the less talented, less beautiful, less special sibling, she has finally found her purpose and her strength.

She thinks about the line from Oklahoma! about "the wind coming right behind the rain" - about how after storms come clear skies.

PART NINE: OPENING NIGHT - THE PERFORMANCE
The next day, Kevin calls a psychiatrist and makes an appointment. Carla goes with him. They do not tell their parents what happened.

That night is the opening night of Oklahoma! The theater is full. Carla sits in the light booth with Randy. Kevin's performance is extraordinary. In the crucial ballet sequence, he is weightless, perfect, sexual, fierce. When he falls "dead" from the gun shot, the audience is genuinely moved - they gasp and seem genuinely distressed.

But more importantly, when Kevin looks up during his solo, he looks directly at the light booth where Carla is positioned. Carla has asked Randy to let her hold the spotlight on Kevin during his solo. She is literally illuminating her brother. And Kevin smiles - "as if he knew I was there."

The audience gives Kevin a standing ovation [when everyone stands up and applauds]. He has to bow multiple times. The applause is "feverish, frantic" with people shouting. But Carla knows something the audience does not: some of that applause is for her too. She is not just watching her talented brother succeed - she is the one who allowed him to be there to succeed. She saved his life.

THE ENDING AND ITS MEANING
The novel ends with Carla's realization that Kevin's problems are not over. She knows "he had a hard time ahead of him." Depression and suicidal thoughts are not cured by one conversation or by starting therapy. Kevin will need ongoing help and support.

But she also knows something crucial: "at least he had a fighting chance, because of me."

The ending is not a fairy-tale happy ending where Kevin is instantly cured and everything is fine. Instead, it is realistic and bittersweet [containing both joy and sadness]. Kevin will struggle. He will need help. But he will have the chance to struggle and to heal because his sister loved him enough to intervene, to take action, to bear the burden of his secret, and to save his life.

Carla's journey is from being the invisible, unremarkable sister to being the hero of her own story - not through talent or beauty, but through courage and love.


This novel is important and necessary. It speaks directly to teenagers about mental health in a time when depression and suicide among young people are serious issues. The book does not romanticize [make something seem attractive or special when it's not] suicide or mental illness. Instead, it shows the reality: that someone you love can be deeply unhappy even while appearing successful, and that you have the power to help.

📖 The book is beautifully written with a distinctive voice. Carla's narration is witty, observant, and real. You feel like you are listening to an intelligent teenage girl tell you her story.

📖 For readers who are struggling with depression or suicidal thoughts, this book might help you feel less alone. For readers who know someone struggling, this book might help you understand what they are going through.

📖 The theme of discovering your own strength and importance is valuable for all readers, but especially for teenagers who often feel overlooked or unimportant.

[Danielle · Rating 2 out of 5]

I was intrigued by this story because it features older brother Kevin, a recent graduate of a school of dance who doesn't know what to do with his life. (Gene Kelly and Comden and Green are mentioned!) Carla is the seventeen-year-old adoring sister who sees all is not well with her brother. A review on the back cover states "A suicide book in which death is prevented is welcome..." Yes, this is a 1987 "issue novel."

7/60 tbr box.