Why did I read this?? Why did I torture myself in this way? Every twist, every turn, I was going to be sick, I felt sick through most of it. I don’t know if it’s just some part of me that just HATED the way everything was described in a dream-like, childish way for something so adult, or maybe it was something to do with just myself. But I didn’t like it. There were plots I enjoyed, yes, but others? The abuse, the incest, the r*pe, the absolute horrid mother that they had, it all just made me sick as I read it.
Did I enjoy the fact that I was able to follow along with a characters WHOLE life in just two books unlike other series? Yeah, maybe I did. But did I like how her life turned out to be? No.
Let’s start with the mother;
I hated her. With everything in me. I just knew from the start, when she passively looked past EVERYTHING her own mother was doing to her own children, she was bad news. Did I expect her to turn insane? Did I expect her to actually feel remorse for what she did? Absolutely not! But, did I expect her to prioritize the money over them, yeah. She was cruel to them, locking them away, and doing nothing about it. She didn’t care that the twins weren’t growing right, she didn’t care that they never got the food they needed as growing children, she didn’t care that they were all suffocated, unable to live normal lives like real children. She never cared, and it showed in the end when she made up stories, tried to justify what she had done. There was nothing that she could’ve said that would’ve helped.
Next, I want to talk about the Grandmother.
Yes, she was cruel as well. Yes, she also did terrible things to the children, but she would’ve done anything for her husband, and anything out of spite for her daughter. Though she played as a villain in the first book, she wasn’t in the second, she was simply a pawn used by the mother to be seen as the evil doer, when it was the mother all along. I’m not justifying her, just saying that she wasn’t the true antagonist of the story. The tar in the hair, the rules, the whippings, hitting the children, all things she did herself, all things that she committed, not the mother, yet, the poison was not her. She brought it up to them, but it wasn’t her plan. The arsenic was all the mother herself.
These two make me sick! And though, it isn’t expected, Cathy too, does not please me.
Does the Grandmother deserve to feel the pain that Cathy had been dealt by her? No, not when time had already taken its toll, when she herself went through her own pain. Cathy had a heart of stone, just like her mother, just like her grandmother. And though she let love in, she let it in only after her revenge had settled, and she was too blind by that pain and bitterness for her to see true love. She was a hopeless romantic, yet she wouldn’t see love until it was too late. She didn’t tell Julian in time until he was gone, she didn’t tell Bart at all, she had told Chris, but he was her brother and she didn’t want to live in sin as her mother did, and she told Paul, but didn’t stay with him. She was a player, she was a seductress, and though she didn’t want to be like her mother, she was almost exactly like her. Though she loved her children and promised never to harm them, she still hurt others, playing on the feelings of many different men all at once, four of them, might I clarify. She was not the best character to play protagonist when she had her own villainess qualities. She wouldn’t let go of her past, she was stubborn, which might be a quality many like in a lead female, she wouldn’t let cruelness leave her when she had the need for revenge. Though she stopped herself, she still whipped her own Grandmother and poured hot wax into her hair when the old woman could not defend herself after two strokes. She still stole her own mother’s husband and had his son, all because she wanted to borne his child to get back at her mother, even though what he did in the beginning to get her there did not “please her” like she wanted. And all that just made me sick.
Next, is Chris.
Though I hated him less, he still was not as desirable for me. There is one line that will forever plague my thoughts from him:
“I will make you mine… tonight… now!”
How can I forget it? When the scene that happened next was so hideous and undesirable for anyone to read. It was horrifying, when I stopped reading, (though could I count it reading when I simply skimmed over it?) I felt bile in my throat, I tried to swallow, but it was hard to, my throat was dry and I felt as though I might have needed a quick stop to the restroom for a reappearance of a meal eaten just hours before. I tried to drink water to swallow it down, and though it was hard, I managed. So yes, I was so horrified, my body didn’t even want water, I was so disgusted from what happened. I don’t know why I kept reading, it could’ve been simply because I thought that was it, the worst of it was over.
Oh, how I was wrong.
After he… well yeah I’m not describing it… after what happened, Chris managed to keep his possessive behavior over her for the whole rest of the two books in one, and never stopped until he had her in the end.
What the actual heck?
And almost the exact same thing happened Cathy’s first night with Bart.
Why?????
The final horrifying thing I want to try to discuss is Julian. Not only was he just as possessive as Chris, if not more, he was abusive and controlling. He took control over Cathy’s life while he was in it. He controlled their finances, he controlled what company they would dance for, and if Cathy ever did something he didn’t like, he was force himself on her, giving her ultimatums. Before he passed, he kicked her out of her final performance, broke her toes, and even slept with her enemy, who destroyed everything she owned. There was never one good experience that was mentioned, only every time he was abusive and controlling. There were even unfaithful times mentioned, with mostly young girls, and even Cathy’s own sister (that absolute piece of crap). It had been that way even before they got married, and yet, Cathy thought she loved him, and didn’t really want to leave him.
I just wanted to leave a happy-ish note at the end, and that happy note, was the twins.
They were filled with life and joy, and I loved their innocence. Cathy and Chris both tried their best to act as good authoritative figures for them, and tried to give them the most normal childhoods they could experience. A garden was made for them, swings were built for them in the attic. Their mother tried to buy their love with toys, yet, they considered Cathy and Chris their only parents. For the most part, they had fun, until they were poisoned and became sick. Carrie loved her porcelain dolls, Cory loved his rat, just as normal kids loved their toys and pets. Their childlike wonder and playfulness in the attic was the only normal thing in the book. I cried for them both. I cried when Cory died first, then I cried for Carrie when she decided to take her own life in the same way, in the shape of powdered doughnuts, and the color of white arsenic. It just wasn’t fair. Why did they have to go out in that way? It just hurt me to see such innocent beings (for the most part) be deliberately poisoned in one way or another. And though, yes, Carrie did make it out alive, her mind was poisoned to believe she was a freak, that she was hideous looking in others eyes. The bullying broke my heart. She looked down on herself as most teenaged girls do, and that piled on with grief led her to leave the world she was in, and join the place where her brother was.
So, to conclude everything, I think this had been one of the most horrifying books I had ever experienced. I rarely felt happy or joyous, I was mostly overcome with disgust and grief. And though, yes she’s gone, I have to wonder, was the author mentally well as she wrote this series? I’m not so sure I want to continue, and I have no doubt this is the last book I will read from V.C. Andrews.