Thunder through my veins: Memories of a Métis childhood

by Gregory Scofield

All Gregory Scofield ever wanted to do was to belong. Born into a Metis family of Cree, Scottish, English and French descent, but never told of his heritage, Gregory knew he was different, his feelings of displacement only heightened by a family life marked by poverty, illness, abuse and loss. Separated from his mother when he was just five, sent to live with strangers and extended family, he tried to make sense of a world which often didn't make any sense at all. As he grew, clinging to the edge of an already misunderstood society, Gregory faced his own diversity and rejection from the Native community, who were unable to accept him for himself.This is Gregory Scofield's traumatic, tender and redeeming story of his fight to discover himself -- a young man who has become an acclaimed, award-winning poet, celebrated for his sensual imagery and lyrical use of Cree words and rhythms. He is a gifted writer, inspired by his heritage, his "brothers and sisters, " and his art. Thunder Through My Veins is proof of that art, a story of wholeness, of a young man finally able to harmonize often very disparate voices into one joyful song. Universal in its themes and in the delicate but powerful emotional moments that speak to all readers, Thunder Through My Veins is a beautiful, painful and tremendously hopeful book.

Genres: Indigenous, Memoir, Nonfiction, Queer, Canada, Audiobook, LGBT

203 pages, Hardcover

First published August 28, 1999

Reviews

[Shannon · Rating 4 out of 5]

I probably wouldn’t have picked this book up if it hadn’t been on the Canada Reads 2021 long-list this year but I’m so glad I did! Unlike many of the Indigenous works I’ve read Gregory Scofield wrote this in 1999, before the Truth and Reconciliation Commission when the climate for Indigenous writings was much less welcoming and celebratory. In his memoir he shares very painful stories of his struggles growing up and not feeling “Indian” enough because of his looks. He had to deal with sexual abuse and neglect as a child and had a very complicated relationship with his mother. He is also very open about his conflicting feelings of sexual identity. He fights his true nature most of his life trying to fit the heteronormative mold of what a “good Native man” should be (ie married with kids). It was great to see how he dedicated his life to helping others in his community and eventually is able to embrace his true self and find great success and acclaim as a writer. Very glad this came up on my radar. Fans of From the Ashes should enjoy this memoir too - I found Gregory much more relatable and could empathize with his hardships a little more than I was able to with Jesse Thistle’s book. I listened to this on audio and the narrator was good but I was a little disappointed Gregory didn’t voice the audiobook himself - that said it doesn’t take away anything from the overall impact and power of his story.

[Ben · Rating 4 out of 5]

Very strong read.

As a fellow Métis myself, I am honored to read a Métis story.

I found this really similar in writing and narrative to Call Me Indian: From the Trauma of Residential School to Becoming the Nhl's First Treaty Indigenous Player. Parts of this book (specifically, the treatment of children) are really hard to read and were also quite shocking.

I enjoyed this a lot.

4.2/5

[Kerry Pickens · Rating 3 out of 5]

You have to give Greg credit for surviving the trauma he experienced growing up, and I could not help but find him very likable. Yes, he has identity issues and he is struggling to find his voice through writing. The problem is its brutal listening to the violence and sexual abuse he experienced over and over again. As a former foster parent, I can tell you this type of childhood trauma is all to common and the perpetrators walk away scott free. Never forget someone else's suffering.

[Grace Mc · Rating 4 out of 5]

I was struck by Gregory Scofield's struggle to claim his Metis identity despite the fact that his forbearers buried, or at the very least ignored, their cultural heritage. I have a feeling that many Canadian families have done the same given the history of racism against indigenous people in this country, and the story that Thunder in my Veins tells may be more common than we think. An important work of literature that adds to the conversation on colonialism and reconciliation in Canada.

[Mary Jane Hele · Rating 4 out of 5]

Gregory Scofield had a brutal childhood. The many encounters with loving elders and grounded people seemed to have provided him with enough support and insight to get past all the sadness, loss, betrayal, violence and poverty. It is a raw memoir about a young man's search for his family history and for his self identity.

[Rebecca Vokey · Rating 1 out of 5]

This stands out as one of the worst reads I've ever been dragged through. The author clearly has identity issues beyond the first and last pages of this novel. He believes he is part Cree after flipping through old photos of his dad and coming to the conclusion that his dad LOOKS Cree, therefore he must be Cree too. That's a far fetched presumption there. I also distinctly remember a part where he compares himself with Dustin Hoffman in The Little Big Horn explaining that he felt more connected to Hoffman's role, which is supposed to be proof that Scofield is indeed of First Nations descent because Hoffman is surely, First Nations. Hoffman is American of Jewish, Romanian, and Ukranian descent.

After Scofield wrote this novel of the struggles he went through as an outsider due to his Cree heritage, he finds out his dad was actually Jewish. This is explained through his stepmom. There's also a video out there of him trying to make latkas with his partner, maybe to better understand the trials and tribulations of being Jewish as well as "First Nations".

This isn't to take away from the rest of the author's real trials he went through such as sexual abuse and other abuse. I just don't think his memoir is at all exemplary of Canadian literature. Maybe the author should do his homework first before attempting to take on someone else's cultural identity.

[Chade66 · Rating 4 out of 5]

My third book for Canada Reads, 2021.

The story of finding home, finding belonging, figuring out where you fit in the world. This book takes you along with the author as he explores who he is and how he fits. How to discover belonging when your family is torn apart over and over again.

It is a well written book and a good read. For me it brought better focus on what Metis culture is, how it is separate from Native Culture, and how sometimes we must try and try again to find our way in the world.

Give it a go.

[Alice McLeod · Rating 3 out of 5]

I picked up this book in hopes of getting a new look at life in Canada, and it was good for that. The author went through a lot of crappy stuff as a kid, so there's a bleakness to it, but it's relieved by the fact that from the beginning you know he'll make it through (and become a published writer).

[Wilfred · Rating 3 out of 5]

A brutally honest memoir of survival. A quest to find family love an acceptance. A quest to find true identity as a Metis person.

[Julia · Rating 4 out of 5]

This is one of those books that is lovely and thought provoking, but not enjoyable. I find this often when I read memoirs or stories that heavily feature child abuse - that's a huge part of a lot of people's lives, but it breaks my heart just the same.

I recently read my first book of Gregory Scofield's poetry - and I am not a poetry reader, so I'm not quite sure how I found myself here - and picked up his memoir from the library.

A lot of memoirs rely on the fact that people are older and looking back on their life, giving the impression that the journey is over or coming to a close. As a memoir written by a man in his thirties, this memoir is self consciously in the middle of Gregory Scofield's journey. There's more questions than answers, and I love that. I also love, though I see that a lot of reviews did not love, the fluidity of identity throughout the book. A lot of Indigenous people lost - and continue to lose - connections to identity for a number of reasons, and acknowledging that his journey was not linear, and one of questions and shame and internalized stereotyping. As a settler, the reminder that identity is not clear cut, and that generations of erasure don't mean that someone loses a right to try to engage with their family history, is important. As someone who checks some of the other demographic boxes covered in the book, reading about a man who in his twenties and early thirties was still coming to terms with a lot of things was... honestly lovely.

I believe, if I'm not mistaken, he's written a second memoir that was slated for publication in 2021, so it'll be interesting to see how the two communicate with each other.

Overall, I appreciated the vulnerability and nuance of the memoir and will continue to read through Gregory Scofield's bibliography.

Completely unimportant, but it's always a weird kind of joy when you find out that an author whose work you like works at the school or went to the school that you got your Master of Arts in a totally different field from.

[Brenden Gallagher · Rating 4 out of 5]

I am not usually one for memoirs of a difficult childhood. The "Angela's Ashes" subgenre just isn't for me. But, there are a few things about Gregory Scofield's "Thunder Through My Veins" that make the book worth your time, even if you are usually allergic to this kind of story.

The most important point in Scofield's favor is his prose style. Scofield is a poet, and that is abundantly obvious in his lyrical, beautiful writing. His descriptions are brilliant and the way he reckons with memory, desire, and belonging is so deeply moving.

Secondly, Scofield's relationship with his Native American heritage provides a deep and meaningful throughline throughout this memoir. He reckons with his cultural heritage and the baggage of his family unflinchingly and beautifully, carefully dissecting the interplay of culture, heredity, heritage, and community.

Finally, Scofield isn't one to wallow. There are moments of beauty embedded in his darkest memories and he is careful to tease them out. Conversely, he resists easy narratives of "getting better" or "getting out," and is careful to meditate on how trauma and pain linger and color life even after it improves.

"Thunder Through My Veins" is a beautiful memoir of a young man coming to terms with his Native American heritage (specifically being part-Cree and part-white), his homosexuality, and the demons that he and his family have had to wrestle with. And it is the kind of book that you will get a lot out of even if that doesn't sound like a book you would ever pick up and read.

[Jane Mulkewich · Rating 5 out of 5]

This book was reprinted in 2019, and the first words in the new foreword by the author are "So much has changed in the twenty years since I first wrote this book". Then this book makes it to the Canada Reads 2021 long-list! So I missed it when it came out in 1999 but am so glad that I read it now. There are some similarities to other indigenous memoirs I have read (and yes sometimes painful or difficult to read about), but this writer has my attention for not only his life experiences and his story, but from his way with words (he is also a poet), and I will look for and read his other books as well. Scofield has indigenous heritage from both his mother's and father's side of the family, but he did not grow up knowing his father. One of the most remarkable parts of his story (for me) is that he did not know of his Metis heritage (on his mother's side) growing up, and even his mother did not know that her father had deliberately buried or denied his Metis heritage, as it was only a relatively recent time since Louis Riel had been hanged. In Canada we have made some progress in now recognizing Louis Riel as a Metis leader, and this book is an important one to understand the intergenerational trauma to the Metis people in Canada.

[Bonnie · Rating 3 out of 5]

The Canadian author - a half-breed- was born into Metis family of Cree, French, Scottish and English descent. He presents this story of his childhood of poverty, abuse and alcoholism. Shuffled from his mother's home to homes of various relatives, foster homes, mental institutions and the streets, Scofield's feelings of "not belonging" anywhere were intensified. Too Native to be accepted in the White world; too light-skinned to be accepted in the Native Community. Further, none of his relatives could help him name his Native band; decades of descendents hid the Native descent to avoid racism. Scofield discovers writing as his tool for self-discovery. Today he is an established Canadian poet, writer and performance artist on Cree story-telling traditions.

For me, the story was one that I've read in other Native biographies and novel- so it did not feel new or fresh. However, I am a fan of Scofield's poetry.

[Paula Sullivan · Rating 4 out of 5]

So, being on a long drive up to Yellowknife, I have decided to listen to audiobooks. The first one I listened to was Thunder Through My Veins: Memories of a Mets Childhood by Gregory Schofield.

This book was longlisted for Canada Reads 2021.

I found the story that Schofield shares is a powerful one. Throughout, he is trying to find his identity, trying to find out where he belongs. His childhood was rough and he really didn't know anything about his cultural heritage and background. As well, being a homosexual, he had to come to terms with that identity as well. Though he struggled, he had strength and overcame adversity in his life.

I recommend this story, and I enjoyed it as an audiobook, you can hear the emotions throughout his story.

[Stephanie H · Rating 4 out of 5]

This is the memoir of Gregory Scofield, who has spent his whole life trying to find his place in the world.

I don’t know that I’ve ever read a memoir that had more abuse and betrayal at the hands of almost every single person the narrator came into contact with. The people in Greg’s life have such intense vices that if this were a fiction book, I would be chastising that the narrator didn’t give us any redeemable characters in the end. Scofield’s story is heartbreaking and hard to read, but important for people who want to understand what it’s like growing up indigenous, or more specifically Métis in the late 20th century.

[Marmot · Rating 2 out of 5]

Read this for book club at the library. It’s quite sad and depressing. I think I would have enjoyed it more if the ending included more about how he found his way to a more positive life. I.e. the notes on the author at the back states he’s now a professor at UVic, but the book ends before he goes to post secondary education. Mostly it served as a reminder of the hard lives many indigenous children face, and the uniqueness of being Métis and associated issues with not feeling a sense of belonging in one place or another.

[Christina Stewart · Rating 4 out of 5]

I give it a four because of the brutal honesty that is within the pages and the superb writing. I did not find it to be a recounting of a Metis Childhood though, except in the sense of wonderment and confusion growing up and in not knowing you are Metis until you hit adulthood. It was however, a very clear and detailed account of a childhood wrought with strife and gives an idea of what life too many people grow up in.

[Robert Boileau · Rating 4 out of 5]

I've always believed that Canada is the best country in the world and to a certain degree I always will think this way. However, hearing stories like this leave me speechless as to how we as Canadians can allow this to happen. It seems that there were many moments in his story where so many people could have intervened and made things easier. Yet, I have admiration for the author, because of his overall positive attitude and not giving up.

[Denise Carroll · Rating 4 out of 5]

Canada Reads 2021 long list books.

[Maria Morrison · Rating 4 out of 5]

A tale told raw - moving from place to place like the person who told it. A reminder that our past does not have to define us, and we can create ourselves out of the pieces we choose to honour.

[Sam Schell · Rating 3 out of 5]

3-4* (listened to audiobook)

[Malvina]

I really liked this book and the way he writes. A very good read.

[Meghan · Rating 4 out of 5]

This was Gregory Scofield’s memoir and his recounts growing up within Indigenous communities throughout Canada. From not fitting in and not feeling “Indian enough” to his struggles with his sexual identity as well as the abuse he faced both physically and sexually, Scofield is an open book as he searches for his identity in a world that isn’t accepting or open to him. He doesn’t shy away from the gruesome details that took place in his life and it was so eye-opening to read. The reader could connect with Scofield as he’s a likable person, so sweet and gentle. He’s also a masterful storyteller, weaving stories past and present together to give an honest and genuine tale of being Native Indian and trying to find your place in the world, a place where you fit in and who your people are. The writing was so poetic and beautifully crafted. With each passing chapter and no matter how bad things got, and it got very dark, trigger warnings for attempted suicide, the writing was still so beautiful. It was heartbreaking and completely harrowing to read some of the accounts as there was also a bit of Canadian history in here that most of us don’t know about because we’re not taught it. This was such a powerful and impactful story and truly spoke volumes. There is still a lot of reconciling that needs to happen to heal a lot of wounds that have been mentioned in this book, but reading, listening and learning these stories is a step in the right direction.