Confucius Cat Says...

by Patricia Mason

Translated from the original Catspeak, Confucius Cat says, is a hilarious and profound collection of the advice and observations of the wise and wonderful feline philosopher.

Genres: Humor, Cats, Fiction, Ebooks, Animals, Short Stories, Poetry

170 pages, Kindle Edition

First published May 20, 2012

About the author

Patricia Mason writes steamy contemporary and paranormal romance under the name Patricia Mason and young adult paranormal romance and urban fantasy. She escaped from the snowy Midwest winters of her youth by moving in 2001 to a beautiful, historic city in Georgia to pursue her dream of being a novelist. Her home is ruled by two black cats. For more titles by the author, visit www.prmason.net. You can also follow the author @prmason on Twitter.

Reviews

[Lila Lockhart · Rating 1 out of 5]

So boring.

SO, SO BORING.

I read.

I cringed.

I deleted from my kindle.

I know this little book is meant to be humorous, and, I'm sure for some cat lovers it probably pulls out some grins and giggles. For me? It induced extreme drowsiness. I did not find the catified quotes particularly funny, in fact, at most times they just seemed downright silly and/or were obvious takes on catting-up old sayings. The only thing I found this book had going for it were some of the catty takes on definitions, still, not enough of them were worthwhile to even boost my view on what I read. I probably should write something more in depth. But I just finished reading this and I'm bloody tired.

[Adela Bec · Rating 2 out of 5]

Confucius Cat Says is a collection of quotes and definitions modified so as to look like they are said from the perspective of a cat.
Some of them were really clever and funny, some just felt forced.
The book as a whole didn't have much sense or I just couldn't find the point of it. This could have been so much better if it actually had a plot and continuity.
I can't say it was horrible either, but I wouldn't recommend this to anyone. Ok, maybe just to those crazy-cat-lovers out there who would find adorable and/or hilarious anything related to cats.
I'm glad I got it free from Amazon, otherwise I would be a little pissed off...

[Linda · Rating 5 out of 5]

A Great Book

O ppthe humor in the book and found it true to life living with cats! I would laugh so hArd my eyes would tear up so I could not see to read. So I wiped my eyes and begin again until the laughter would bubble up. The whole time this was happening my kitty was pawing me constantly as if saying i wanna know what's funny and quit reading and play with me.

[Lora B Weems · Rating 4 out of 5]

Confucius cat says that this is an interesting and funny book.

Not a book to pick up if you are wanting a deep, insightful novel.
However, if y are looking for a good half-hour or so of chuckles here is your go-to book!

[Nanci · Rating 3 out of 5]

Cute

The book is... Cute. I probably wouldn't have read it through if it actually took the hour plus that is the recommended tim. It took me 10 minutes. Cute, not fantastic, not even especially clever. I wouldn't spend the money to buy it.

[Judy · Rating 2 out of 5]

Fast read. A few little cat truisms.

[Dorothy · Rating 5 out of 5]

Fun

A fun and informative read into the way cats really think and why they rule the world with a soft yet iron claw.

[Mark Nelson]

This truly gets inside a cat's head in a fun way. If you love cats, this book is a good read.

[Sheila · Rating 4 out of 5]

Think outside the litter box, don’t fight cats behind glass if they look suspiciously like you, enjoy reading an ode to the monthly Vile Vial, smile through felinely mangled literary references, imagine the experiments claws can perform with stray toilet-paper rolls, and more. If you like to catapult catastrophic word definitions into catscradles of mystery, or if you just like cats, you’ll enjoy the quite sharp humor and feline philosophy of this neat collection. Don’t miss the cats’ Twelve Days of Christmas at the end. Fun for all, especially cat-lovers.

Disclosure: It was free. I loved it.

[Simon Kitt · Rating 1 out of 5]

Quotes written from the view of a cat. Quite a short book with a quote/saying per page. On the standard Kindle (black and white) the pictures don't look too good but that gripe is restricted to the Kindle only.

Most of the quotes seem a bit too forced like the author is just trying to fill the book and move on whilst a few are genuinely funny.

If you're a cat person/have a cat in the house this is probably more your thing.

Unfortunately for me I found that I was skimming most of the pages after the first few chapters.

[megHan · Rating 3 out of 5]

I found this book for free one day and, even though I'm not a fan of those cutesie cat pictures where people have added captions in "cat speak" (to me it looks more like a very uneducated person or someone who has just started learning English), I thought I would give it a chance. It's actually pretty cute. It's a compilation of many quotes, some of which are famous, that have been cat-ized ... and several of them made me laugh. It's a quick read and not too bad.

[Peg · Rating 4 out of 5]

I downloaded this book to my Kindle for free. I knew I would like it when I saw the picture of the cat on the cover which looks just like a cat I had for 18 years named Midnight!

This is a fun, fast read whether or not you are a cat lover. The sayings are made applicable to cats and any cat owner/lover knows how true they are. I laughed out loud a few times and enjoyed the book very much. I will be recommending it to others.

[Hilary · Rating 3 out of 5]

A fun little book with cat-inspired wisdom, literary paraphrases and scientific interpretations, from the reason Pavlov used dogs rather than cats to the definition of super cat powers (including "the ability to spread a layer of cat fur on freshly laundered sheets less than one minute after the bed is made" and "Cuteness is always the way to get away with catness"). Some are better than others, but there is something that every cat-owned will recognize, shake a head and laugh over.

[Bob Cantrell · Rating 5 out of 5]

Fun for cat lovers

I have a cat so this book just reminded me that the cat has me. It was fun reading the philosophy of a cat because it was so true. If you like cats then read this to get a chuckle. If you don't like cats then read so you will have more reasons to dislike cats or maybe you will change your mind and decide that cats aren't so bad after all. P.S.: my cat is watching me as I write this.

[Lindsay · Rating 4 out of 5]

The purrfect little book for cat lovers!

This book is full of well known sayings as retold by a cat. For example, "A penny saved is money you should have spent on a cat toy." and "Purr softly and carry a fluffy tail."

Also includes a cat's "definitions" of both real words and made-up words.

Very short and quick read, but not as cheesy as I thought it would be. I did get several chuckles out of it.

[Mimi Barbour · Rating 5 out of 5]

Okay, this was such a fun, easy read and one I thoroughly enjoyed. Made me giggle a number of times because the Confucius Cat was just so "right on"! My favorite Confucius Cat says is...
"This is my summer of discontent. Made glorious winter by the air-conditioning vent!"
If you're a cat lover - this book is definitely for you.

[John Wood · Rating 2 out of 5]

A collection of Confucius sayings from a cats' viewpoint. I found them semi-humorous and imagine that most people or cats could come up with better ones if they had an afternoon with nothing else planned

[Donadee's Corner · Rating 5 out of 5]

Confucius Cat is a pretty smart dude. Some of these quotes are so on the mark. I sat here just shaking my head thinking "yes, that's right, just what my babies do" or "I can see that". Really enjoyed this little book. If you love cats you will get a kick out of this too.

[Jeanne Johnston · Rating 1 out of 5]

Wow. That's 15 minutes I'll never get back... Honestly, This is the kind of thing concept that
may be hysterical as everyone passes the bong around, but the potential just doesn't hold up to the sober light of day. This is the kind of thing that gives self pub a bad name.

[Gita Sturtevant · Rating 5 out of 5]

Enchanting

cutest book to read for animal lovers. you don't have to be a lover of cats either to appreciate the cleverness of this writer. humor is needed more in this sometimes sad world we live in.

[Rebecca Ronayne · Rating 5 out of 5]

Five tunas!

A must read for humans who share their lives with a cat (or more). I swear this book was written by my cat Bubba. Confucius Cat made me smile and smile some more. Very funny and thoughtful. Thoroughly enjoyable.

[Noelle Walsh · Rating 5 out of 5]

If you are a cat lover, you will enjoy this book to bits (probably). It's a quick read, but it's really enjoyable. My general opinion is that cat lovers will enjoy it more than people who are either indifferent to cats or are just not cat people.

[Therese · Rating 4 out of 5]

$0.0

With a title like this, not to mention that photo, I couldn't pass this book by. It was a quick read that made me smile through most of all the sayings, etc.

[Heather · Rating 4 out of 5]

Free ebook download. Super cute and fun read. :)

[Rosa M. · Rating 2 out of 5]

Clever and quick read for pet lovers.

[Gail · Rating 4 out of 5]

Confucius cat say "read my book. I very clever"

[Pange · Rating 2 out of 5]

Silly and cute little book. Loved the quotes modified for kittification. Disliked the forced definitions.

[Christine · Rating 4 out of 5]

Disclaimer: The cover cat looks like one of my cats.

Own a cat, read this. It's right on.

[Cathy · Rating 2 out of 5]

Very short read about Confucius Cat sayings. Some are pretty funny.

[Elizabeth · Rating 5 out of 5]

If you love pet humor (especially if you're a cat person), you're gonna love this book!!! Finished it in an hour, love it to pieces!!!