Buddha & Love: Timeless Wisdom for Modern Relationships

by Ole Nydahl

Buddha & Love, published in over half a dozen languages, explores all aspects of love and partnership from a Buddhist perspective. Covering a broad spectrum of topics such as sexuality, infidelity, parenting, and divorce. Lama Ole Nydahl, a Buddhist Lama in the Karma Kagyu tradition of Tibetan Buddhism, explains how a Buddhist approach to relationships can help us to relax our minds, break bad habits, and use relationships to grow ourselves and benefit everyone around us. Unafraid of taboo topics, and free from sappy cliches and political correctness, Nydahl provides modern people with practical advice on how to love better.

Genres: Buddhism, Nonfiction, Religion, Zen, Relationships, Spirituality

336 pages, Hardcover

First published January 1, 2007

About the author

Ole Nydahl, also known as Lama Ole, is a lama providing Mahamudra teachings in the Karma Kagyu school of Tibetan Buddhism. Since the early 1970s, Nydahl has toured the world giving lectures and meditation courses. With his wife, Hannah Nydahl (1946-2007), he founded Diamond Way Buddhism, a worldwide Karma Kagyu Buddhist organization with over 600 centers for lay practitioners.

Nydahl is the author of more than twenty books (in German and English) about Diamond Way Vajrayana Buddhism, with translations into multiple languages. Titles include The Great Seal: Mahamudra View of Diamond Way Buddhism,The Way Things Are, Entering the Diamond Way, Buddha and Love and Fearless Death.

Reviews

[Tiffany · Rating 1 out of 5]

I never knew that Buddhism could be so dire. I think this book was written at a different time I suppose but I couldn't finish it due to it's narrow hetero-normative view of love, strict gender roles, and it's pro-life not pro-choice section. I've never heard a Buddhist talk in such a prescriptive way before, and for me, it was a barrier to being able to learn anything from it.

[Charlotte · Rating 2 out of 5]

2-3 Sterne
Es gibt ganz tolle Dinge mitzunehmen für mich selbst, vor allem zum Thema “Loslassen lernen” und nicht vor sich hin brüten über Eventualitäten. Ich hab einiges gefunden, das hilft, mir mehr vor Augen zu führen, dass ich im Jetzt lebe und mich auf das Gute konzentriere und zu verstehen, dass alles was ich wahrnehme oder denke nicht einfach so ist, sondern immer von mir eingefärbt wird.
Auch für den Umgang in einer Beziehung gibt es hier und da schöne Ansätze. Vor allem die Idee, dass eine wirklich gute Beziehung nicht nur den beiden innerhalb der Beziehung Glück bringt, sondern auch nach außen leuchtet und dem Umfeld Gutes schenkt, finde ich eine tolle Annahme. Ich sehe es auch so, dass manche Menschen gemeinsam einfach strahlen und eine gute Aura haben.

Absolut gar nicht ging für mich die heteronormative Sprache und die komischen Statements von dem Typ zu Geschlechterrollen in der Familie. Der Mann als Stratege und die Frau als die, die ihn unterstützt und empfindsam seine Gefühle für ihn sortiert und auflöst (nur ein Beispiel). Zwar wird die Frau auch als sehr weise etc. beschrieben, aber der Frame ist auf jeden Fall maximal patriarchalisch und hat mir leider den größten Teil des Buches verdorben. Wenn man Bismarck zitiert, finde ich es eh erstmal fragwürdig.

Ich möchte sehr gerne noch mehr zum Buddhismus lesen. Aber nicht von diesem Autor 😂

[Meike · Rating 5 out of 5]

Already a classic in modern Buddhist literature in the West. In his fresh and unconventional style, Lama Ole Nydahl explains Buddha's timeless teachings and makes them easy to apply in our modern, everyday lives.

Not only does the book offer tons of advice on how to make love and partnership (or actually any relationship or friendship) more lasting and enjoyable based on the classic Buddhist teachings, but it also provides a great overview of the basic of Vajrayana or Diamond Way Buddhism.

As a realized Buddhist teacher recognized as a high lama (Buddhist teacher) in the East and in the West, Lama Ole Nydahl has been teaching Buddhism for more than four decades all over the world to Thousands of students. This book gives a great insight on why his teachings are so applicable for people living a busy, modern life with job, family and everything life has to offer!

[Katie · Rating 3 out of 5]

The author's perceptions on modern relationships is a bit too conventional and stereotypical for my taste (particularly the emphasis on traditional roles of male/female relationships). I must say I was taken aback by this, given that it's been my observation Eastern thought tends to be more open-minded about the dynamics of human relationships than Western thought. Nevertheless, if you can get past occasional "fingers down the chalkboard" moments while reading this book....it does have some helpful gems here and there.

[Sara · Rating 3 out of 5]

Al principio profundiza sobre las características y enseñanzas de Buda y el Budismo que se pueden aplicar a nuestros vínculos, luego pasa a expresar la importancia de fortalecer los vínculos de pareja, sin embargo se explora desde una perspectiva muy heteronormativa, la cual podría ser más enfocada en las energías masculina y femenina, más que en el hombre y la mujer (digo esto desde el entero desconocimiento de los básicos del budismo, es decir, no sé si sea posible), está puede ser una perspectiva que segrega.
Luego expone cada uno de los caminos dentro del budismo y sus diferencias.
Algo que me parece buenísimo es que incluye 3 o 4 meditaciones explicadas paso por paso y la respectiva explicación de por qué hacerlas.
Contiene un glosario bastante amplio que da muchas claridades sobre el budismo.

[Simone · Rating 4 out of 5]

Buddha and Love truly blew my mind! In every chapter, the author, a lay Buddhist lama who was married until his wife passed away, goes from giving solid advice about relationships, to explaining the larger context of love and how it relates to compassion and the motivation to work for the benefit of all beings. This book completely changes how you see relationships and what you get out of them.

The only reason I give it 4 stars, rather than 5, is because there is a strong focus in parts of the book on exclusively hetero relationships and I'm gay. On the other hand, I did find even those parts useful, in that the descriptions of some frequent pitfalls of male-female communication styles helped me to better understand some of my guys friends.

[Matt on Books · Rating 5 out of 5]

Everything anyone needs to lead a relationship that is deep, joyful, fulfilling & enriches not only the two involved but the lives of those around them as well. But it's no instant fix self help book – the hard part is actually doing what Lama Ole recommends. ;-)

[Marianne]

For me this book was too complicated and vague, especially towards the end. Also I was annoyed by the stereotypes of men and women.

[Nadezhda Angelova · Rating 5 out of 5]

I highly recommend this book for everyone.

[Irmina Žu · Rating 2 out of 5]

Likau nustebinta, kad galima taip suplakti tikslias ir naudingas budizmo žinias su labai abejotinos vertės išvedžiojimais. Panašu, kad prie tokio keisto kratinio stipriai prisidėjo nevykęs vertimas. Vietomis tekstas medinis, pritrūksta aiškumo ir kontekstui tinkamesnių sinonimų. Originaliai knyga parašyta vokiečių kalba, o šis vertimas - iš vokiečių IR rusų kalbų. Teoriškai tai suteikia galimybę pateikti pilnesnį, išsamesnį, aiškesnį, plačiau pakomentuotą vertimą. Tokiu atveju baisu pagalvoti, kaip atrodytų vertimas vien tik iš vokiečių kalbos 🫣

Apibendrinant, vertų dėmesio akcentų yra, bet iš esmės - silpniausia budizmo tema skaityta knyga, tad 2.5 ⭐️

[Enya · Rating 5 out of 5]

I think that the book was very good, it helps people notice things that they do. The book was mostly about what the people did wrong in a relationship and how to make it better. I think that it said a lot of wise things in the book, and I recommend it to any person because it’s about any relationship like with your parents or brothers/sisters or even with your friends. I would give this book 5 stars because it is a very good book and not just that it gives wise tips and advice.

[Lenka · Rating 5 out of 5]

Klidna cetba o lasce nejen k partnerovi, nepsana pravidla nebo spise "prikazani" jak by mohl fungovat krasny naplnujici vztah podle budhismu. Doporucuju pro vsechny milujici a milovane bytosti:-) A ostatni, co vycnivaji z rady, at najdou v knize ponauceni.

[Spyridon Leftheriotis · Rating 5 out of 5]

This book is a guide for a perfect relationships.

[Andrea · Rating 4 out of 5]

Láska z pohledu buddhismu...dost zajímavé věci o tom, jak bychom si měli partnerů vážit, vidět je na té nejvyšší úrovni s učit se od nich a hlavně s nimi..

[epidrom · Rating 3 out of 5]

It was "ok". It got recommend to me. Like the last book I read about love and relationships (**which also got recommend to me, see below) it is full of stereotypes and personal opinions.

At least with this book the author tries to get you to consciously think about your behaviour and emphasizes on compassion for one another.

He tries to implement Buddhisms Wisdom into his chapters and andvocates meditation.

So all in all I give it a solid three stars.


**It is at least better than:"Men Are from Mars, Women Are from Venus"

[Iváncza-Gondár Bianka · Rating 5 out of 5]

Évente többször is a kezembe kerül és olyan lelkesedéssel olvasom mindig, mint elsőre. Tiszta rongy már a könyvem :)

[Cheryl Goveia · Rating 4 out of 5]

The Buddha had a full life before he attained enlightenment and this is an interesting view from Lama Ole Nydahl of the Diamond Way Buddhist tradition of the Karma Kagyu lineage. He covers what Buddha had to say about various styles of relationships, friendships, marriage. Lama Ole is from the Netherlands and some of the translation is lacking. Very enlightening read.

[Szabolcs Bökönyi · Rating 5 out of 5]

Buddha's timeless wisdom communicated in a clear and understandable way by Lama Ole, a modern yogi with great experience. Buddha & Love is a must read for all couples and singles who want to get the most out of relationships or just want an introduction to the highest view of Buddhist teachings.

[Lukasz · Rating 5 out of 5]

A great book on relationships, the points of view of men and women, how men and women experience life differently, and how we can complement and learn from each other, and help each other develop.