Excommunicated: A heart-wrenching and compelling memoir about a family torn apart by one of New Zealand's most secretive religious sects for readers of Driving to Treblinka and Educated

by Craig Hoyle

A heart-wrenching multigenerational family memoir by an excommunicated member of the Exclusive Brethren

After coming out as gay, Craig Hoyle was excommunicated from the New Zealand Exclusive Brethren and forced to say goodbye to his family forever. The conservative sect was everything he'd ever known - a childhood where television, pop music, sports and even pets were against the rules.

Joining public society - the 'worldlies' - for the first time, Craig sets out to meet his grandfather who was excommunicated in the 1980s and, using his diaries and letters, uncovers two centuries and seven generations of the family's tangled and often cruel relationship with the Brethren.

Weaving their past with Craig's own upbringing in this secretive and oppressive religious group, Excommunicated charts the evolution of the Exclusive Brethren in New Zealand and the heartwrenching stories of a family torn apart.

Genres: Nonfiction, Religion, Memoir, LGBT, Biography

333 pages, Kindle Edition

Published November 1, 2023

Reviews

[Gwen Whitbourn · Rating 5 out of 5]

Just finished reading this amazing book by Craig Hoyle. If anyone is curious to discover some of the background to the Exclusive Brethren, the cult/sect that I also grew up in but fortunately left at the age of 6, I would thoroughly recommend this easy to read, interesting, heartfelt and informative account of the impact they have on the lives of anyone unfortunate enough to be mixed up with them. So strange that reading the account of a gay man 20 years my junior on the other side of the world in New Zealand can stir up so many memories of how they influenced my own life and in such a detrimental way. A well written account which speaks across the generations and gives an account of the horrors of the rebranded Plymouth Brethren “Christian” Church.

[Thelma MacDonald · Rating 4 out of 5]

An interesting insight into the brethren church behind closed doors.As I grew up in a small village in Northland NZ we had a lot of brethren as neighbours and they were all very nice neighbours and I played with their children although always outside this was in the 1970’s. Over the years I have dealt with them in business through their tyre businesses and always found them fair to deal with.
However I also had friends at school whose families had either been kicked out or they chose to leave and apart from losing their families I didn’t realise how hard they were on those people

[Helen Cummings · Rating 4 out of 5]

This is such a sad story and so depressing. There is no joy to be found in the Exclusive Brethren church. Like all religious cults it’s ruled by nasty males who seemed to take sadistic delight in harming their brainwashed followers and breaking up their families.. One thing I did learn was that they adore heavy drinking! I don’t know how they think that this brings them closer to god. Overall an interesting read.

[Murray · Rating 5 out of 5]

Excellent shocking insight into life within the brethren cult.

[Kasey · Rating 4 out of 5]

I grew up in a town that had a lot of brethrens - with families mentioned in the book so wanted to read out of curiosity! I’ve often wondered about the brethren kids (including a Hoyle that would sneak to our house and play on computer with my brother 😅) went to school with and read this book in the hope of some insight - really interesting and eye opening,mind blowing how terrifying their belief system is. I did skim read a few chapters as was more interested in the stories from Craig’s life as opposed to the history but if you are interested in the history this is a great, really informative read! Thanks for sharing your story Craig!

[Tricia Hewines · Rating 5 out of 5]

An excellent read that I didn’t want to put down. We get an insider perspective of life in the Exclusive Brethren cult and weaved into that fascinating telling is the author’s family history which he traced back to the beginnings of the Exclusive Brethren. Layers of generational family heartbreak and trauma due to the ever-constricting edicts of the cult culminates with the authors telling of his personal wrestling with his sexuality and ultimately leaving the Exclusive Brethren.

[Neil · Rating 4 out of 5]

Wonderfully written and heartfelt, this gives us a rare insight into the exclusive brethren and their attitude against those that don’t follow them.
There are a couple of references to tv interviews done after the writer was excommunicated and I managed to find both of them on YouTube.
Very good read and recommended

[C.J. Hill · Rating 5 out of 5]

An informative and personal account of growing up in a cult and the pressures brought to bear upon anyone who wants to leave it. I have read a great deal about these so called Christian communities and I am every time disgusted at the way they bring pressure and fear to ensure no one questions or disagrees with the leaders. Truly shocking that this can still happen today.

[Chérie · Rating 5 out of 5]

Craig has a such a wonderful writing style, I couldn’t put it down.

It was fascinating and shocking to relearn all the history without the whitewash and PR filter. Craig intertwines it with his own families long and complex history with the EBs.

I cried. It was beautiful. I loved it.

[Tanya · Rating 4 out of 5]

An interesting look inside the exclusive brethren. I was amazed at the many branches of this family tree that have been cut away by their zealous brethren family members. The treatment of family members who didn’t toe the line was shocking, and very sad. Recommended.

[Miles Hoyle · Rating 5 out of 5]

Craig Hoyle is actually one of my cousins, it was a great book to learn about my family history as well and learning parts of his story I didn’t know previously

[Anne Barnet · Rating 5 out of 5]

Such a divisive religion. I admire Craig for standing up and writing this book. From my experience, growing up in Northland, NZ, where there was a large Brethren following, I can say that what he writes is absolutely true. In fact, my great-grandmother was Susan Davis, married to John Burgess, two ancestors Craig and I have in common. My grandfather, William, for whatever reason, did not follow his mother's faith. He was the only sibling who was not a Brethren. As a result, my father had very little communication with his paternal aunts, uncles, and cousins. No wonder he always made sure we knew our relatives.
Well done, Craig. This must have been such a difficult book to write.

[Julie · Rating 3 out of 5]

This gave an interesting look into what goes on behind closed doors at the Exclusive Brethren and the process of being ‘shut up’ and excommunicated. This covers multiple generations leaving the religion and goes in depth into the family history. This was a good read but it was very dry (and meaning that in a bad way) so take your day with the book in order to really let it hit you are not have the dryness bog you down because it really just the subject matter that is dry and not the memoir (if that makes sense).

Worth a read if you want to read about the Exclusive Brethren and learn a bit more about the sociological, historical, psychological ramifications of extreme religion.

[Elizabeth Partridge · Rating 5 out of 5]

Picked up this book two days ago, and am so glad l did. Hard to put down, Craig shines a light on some the disturbing practices that happen when a high-demand religion withdraws fellowship. If you've followed the Gloriavale story closely, this book is also well worth a read. Craig's writing weaves the narrative of his own experiences in a way that will make you both laugh & cry, sometimes despairing at the the way humans can treat each other, but ultimately offering hope.

[Abi Wood-Bodley · Rating 5 out of 5]

I loved this story!!

It was so beautifully written, easy to read, so captivating, and utterly heartbreaking.

The author did such a great job of weaving in church history, and other historical context, alongside the stories of some of his own family members.

It hit a personal nerve for me, and in a lot of ways helped me to unpack some of my experiences growing up similarly religious.

Truly an excellent read!

[Rachel Broadbent · Rating 5 out of 5]

Compelling, terrifying and deeply moving. Fascinating to me as I am related to the author, share some of the same ancestors and have memories of a few of the people mentioned. The combination of historical legacy and personal memoir is brilliant and I couldn't put it down. Craig's honesty and personal insights are a story that many need to hear.

[Lynette · Rating 3 out of 5]

Sad. Bit long winded in parts. Hard to understand how they can just write off their family members. So scarring for all parties and it all just seems so wrong …. I am pleased Craig had such good support on the outside as this would mess with your head for life.

[Wendy Howard · Rating 4 out of 5]

52 Book Challenge 2024 prompts:
#4 - Lowercase Letters on the Spine
#10 - Told in Non-Chronological Order
#14 - A Grieving Character
#30 - Picked without reading the blurb
#39 - Non-Fiction Recommended by a Friend
#43 - About Finding Identity

[Lane · Rating 5 out of 5]

Amazing story and very well written!

[Peter Lineham · Rating 4 out of 5]

I reviewed it for the brethren Historical Review.

[Steph · Rating 4 out of 5]

4.5 / 5. Not sure what drew me to this book but a fascinating, provoking, at times heartbreaking read

[Zara O.W Macnab · Rating 5 out of 5]

Thank you for sharing your story Craig 🙏🏽

[Graeme · Rating 3 out of 5]

Weird brethren. Better off out of it

[Tara Hopwood · Rating 5 out of 5]

confronting insight into the world of exclusive brethren who work so hard to portray a completely different world to their reality

[TraceyB · Rating 3 out of 5]

An interesting insight into the New Zealand Exclusive Brethren world... present and past but not an easy read. I did have to chew through the words and i got lost with who belonged to who.