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Tome of Bill Universe #20
Deviant Dark Dryads: A Fantasy Adventure
A MOTHER’S WRATH KNOWS NO BOUNDS
Watching my friends die was hard. Getting blown up right after was even worse. But that’s nothing compared to waking up to the mother I never knew and finding out she’s a monster far worse than anything I’ve faced so far.
Now, not only is she trying to set me up with every eligible demon between here and Hades, but she’s busy plotting the demise of my best friend Gary – setting us up on a collision course for a battle to the death.
All I want is to escape her clutches and get back to my life, but with a supernatural war brewing that might not be possible. To make matters worse, it looks like my dad has turned into a bomb-wielding madman. With everything going to hell, all I can do is keep fighting the good fight … and hope this is one case where the apple falls far from the tree.
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From Rick Gualtieri – author of the Tome of Bill series – and R.E. Carr – creator of Rules Undying – comes the next chapter in False Icons, a new adult fantasy adventure full of heroes, monsters, and the pained realization that Mother's Day is about to become your least favorite holiday ever.
Scroll up and click BUY NOW or READ FOR FREE to dive into False Icons today.
Watching my friends die was hard. Getting blown up right after was even worse. But that’s nothing compared to waking up to the mother I never knew and finding out she’s a monster far worse than anything I’ve faced so far.
Now, not only is she trying to set me up with every eligible demon between here and Hades, but she’s busy plotting the demise of my best friend Gary – setting us up on a collision course for a battle to the death.
All I want is to escape her clutches and get back to my life, but with a supernatural war brewing that might not be possible. To make matters worse, it looks like my dad has turned into a bomb-wielding madman. With everything going to hell, all I can do is keep fighting the good fight … and hope this is one case where the apple falls far from the tree.
----------
From Rick Gualtieri – author of the Tome of Bill series – and R.E. Carr – creator of Rules Undying – comes the next chapter in False Icons, a new adult fantasy adventure full of heroes, monsters, and the pained realization that Mother's Day is about to become your least favorite holiday ever.
Scroll up and click BUY NOW or READ FOR FREE to dive into False Icons today.
386 pages, Kindle Edition
Published May 22, 2023
30 people are currently reading
26 people want to read
About the author
Rick Gualtieri
90 books767 followersRick Gualtieri loves to write adventure, mayhem, and snarky dialogue. His bestselling Tome of Bill series combines all of this into a world of supernatural danger with hard-hitting action and plenty of sharp-tongued geeky humor.
Rick lives alone in a dark, evil place called New Jersey with only his wife, three kids, and countless pets to both keep him company and constantly plot against him. When he's not busy monkey-clicking out words, he can typically be found jealously guarding his collection of vintage Transformers from all who would seek to defile them.
Defilers beware!
Email: rickg.author@gmail.com
Facebook: facebook.com/RickGualtieriAuthor
Rick lives alone in a dark, evil place called New Jersey with only his wife, three kids, and countless pets to both keep him company and constantly plot against him. When he's not busy monkey-clicking out words, he can typically be found jealously guarding his collection of vintage Transformers from all who would seek to defile them.
Defilers beware!
Email: rickg.author@gmail.com
Facebook: facebook.com/RickGualtieriAuthor
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Community Reviews
Displaying 1 - 4 of 4 reviews
May 31, 2023
Good job, oh Conqueror of Burp. You somehow managed to take a bad situation and make it infinitely worse for everyone involved.
Well, for those of you keeping score at home, this 4th triumphant chapter of "False Icon" contains:
- 4 "Holy Hannahs"!
- 3 "Holy _____, Batmans" (including one that was combined with Deadpool which I believe makes it a grammatical no-no… noting I suspect the authors will be hearing from Disney's lawyers any day now…);
- 2 c-words;
- 1 incursion in my hometown which had me fanboy'ing my ass off!
- And several partridges, I mean, people that identify quite possibly as pear trees (in the spirit of the "12 Days of Christmas" doncha know).
Go figure, getting blown up and captured by my insane absentee mother, not to mention being asked to battle my best bud to the death, may have done a number on my emotional stability.
Sadly, this means my review starts at MINUS 6 stars so pretty much I say from here on out is just dressing on the sentient and quite probably satanic salad. Speaking of which: Extra Credit - would "Salad Girl" make for an interesting mini-series possibly leading to an Avengers or GotG movie cameo? Would you combine same with "Burp Girl" or have two totally separate story-lines? Discuss using additional vegetables and whatever the hell we agree that tomatoes are … as well as copious amounts of belching to make your point…
At some point, you’re going to need to wake up and realize this world isn’t some comic book.
Oh ha ha, how I make myself laugh (it's a lonely job but still)! But strenuously… To paraphrase R.E.Carr's introduction just a tad, after 3 reviews for the books that came before, by now my own ADHD brain is twisting and turning to beat the band! And she's very correct in that this book is not all trauma and catharsis. It contains both some really cool fights, has a lot of terrific laughs and of course takes us along for the ride as Jessie continues to explore her seemingly ever-expanding powers. Have I mentioned lately just how glad I am that we are well past the teenage high school angst stage that plagued the earliest part of this series? Oh yeah, we're into full "why don't we do it in the road" territory by now!
A lot changed while you were off at Underworld spring break, Burp Girl. People, magic, hell, the whole world.
Now that I've blithered incoherently for a couple of paragraphs, let me put on my Amazon review hat and say that "Deviant Dark Dryads" was easily my favorite of the series so far! We seem to have reached a point where the adults have taken over (or whatever passes for adults with some of these creatures) and the scheming has equally "matured"! Plus, the authors seem to have made the conscious decision to focus on less characters than before which I think helped tremendously. There's still beaucoup plots and plans and general conniving going on, but I didn't feel like every chapter would need it's own 10-minute credits reel at the end!
Take that as a lesson. You’re surrounded by bullshitters and manipulators.
Sure that means that we see a little less of what have become favorites by now! I mean, Moe is just the cutest, right (no I don't want to call him James for very, very personal reasons)? But we spend a lot of time away from the Wyatts (yes, plural), obviously for better or worse (no spoilers) and naturally our death otters only really get seen while playing gore-splattered extras. But still, the core group assembled this time just seemed to click with me, even if a lot of them were (a) utter assholes (b) often stoned out of the gourds (and sometimes were literal gourds) and/or (c) weren't who thought they were in the first place! So yeah, mysteries are present in abundance but this feels right in terms of where we should be right now. Come hell or high, um, puddles of spilled pomegranate drink. Something like that.
Right now, the whole world is basically season two of Game of Thrones, with the proverbial Iron Throne up for grabs.
And there are some harsh bits in this one. Deliciously, fvck that birch harsh bits! The authors definitely dove into the whole "this is what folks were trying to get across about the gods in the first place" lore and I loved it! This truly set the table for having our characters not only show their powers but equally important having now grown into them (at least for the younger talents). However… I just hope we can avoid the vomit comet moving forwards. Or however the hell that works!
Their precious Prince of Poison is in the precarious position of potentially preening over his posthumous paramour again. Try saying that five times fast.
Great stuff kids, tell your friends! Well, at least the ones you aren't trying to kill… oops, ignore that last bit! And guess what: we ain't done, not apparently by a long shot! The weirdness is getting just weirder and weirder! Yeehaw and pass the strawberry margaritas (hold the roofies please)!
Well, for those of you keeping score at home, this 4th triumphant chapter of "False Icon" contains:
- 4 "Holy Hannahs"!
- 3 "Holy _____, Batmans" (including one that was combined with Deadpool which I believe makes it a grammatical no-no… noting I suspect the authors will be hearing from Disney's lawyers any day now…);
- 2 c-words;
- 1 incursion in my hometown which had me fanboy'ing my ass off!
- And several partridges, I mean, people that identify quite possibly as pear trees (in the spirit of the "12 Days of Christmas" doncha know).
Go figure, getting blown up and captured by my insane absentee mother, not to mention being asked to battle my best bud to the death, may have done a number on my emotional stability.
Sadly, this means my review starts at MINUS 6 stars so pretty much I say from here on out is just dressing on the sentient and quite probably satanic salad. Speaking of which: Extra Credit - would "Salad Girl" make for an interesting mini-series possibly leading to an Avengers or GotG movie cameo? Would you combine same with "Burp Girl" or have two totally separate story-lines? Discuss using additional vegetables and whatever the hell we agree that tomatoes are … as well as copious amounts of belching to make your point…
At some point, you’re going to need to wake up and realize this world isn’t some comic book.
Oh ha ha, how I make myself laugh (it's a lonely job but still)! But strenuously… To paraphrase R.E.Carr's introduction just a tad, after 3 reviews for the books that came before, by now my own ADHD brain is twisting and turning to beat the band! And she's very correct in that this book is not all trauma and catharsis. It contains both some really cool fights, has a lot of terrific laughs and of course takes us along for the ride as Jessie continues to explore her seemingly ever-expanding powers. Have I mentioned lately just how glad I am that we are well past the teenage high school angst stage that plagued the earliest part of this series? Oh yeah, we're into full "why don't we do it in the road" territory by now!
A lot changed while you were off at Underworld spring break, Burp Girl. People, magic, hell, the whole world.
Now that I've blithered incoherently for a couple of paragraphs, let me put on my Amazon review hat and say that "Deviant Dark Dryads" was easily my favorite of the series so far! We seem to have reached a point where the adults have taken over (or whatever passes for adults with some of these creatures) and the scheming has equally "matured"! Plus, the authors seem to have made the conscious decision to focus on less characters than before which I think helped tremendously. There's still beaucoup plots and plans and general conniving going on, but I didn't feel like every chapter would need it's own 10-minute credits reel at the end!
Take that as a lesson. You’re surrounded by bullshitters and manipulators.
Sure that means that we see a little less of what have become favorites by now! I mean, Moe is just the cutest, right (no I don't want to call him James for very, very personal reasons)? But we spend a lot of time away from the Wyatts (yes, plural), obviously for better or worse (no spoilers) and naturally our death otters only really get seen while playing gore-splattered extras. But still, the core group assembled this time just seemed to click with me, even if a lot of them were (a) utter assholes (b) often stoned out of the gourds (and sometimes were literal gourds) and/or (c) weren't who thought they were in the first place! So yeah, mysteries are present in abundance but this feels right in terms of where we should be right now. Come hell or high, um, puddles of spilled pomegranate drink. Something like that.
Right now, the whole world is basically season two of Game of Thrones, with the proverbial Iron Throne up for grabs.
And there are some harsh bits in this one. Deliciously, fvck that birch harsh bits! The authors definitely dove into the whole "this is what folks were trying to get across about the gods in the first place" lore and I loved it! This truly set the table for having our characters not only show their powers but equally important having now grown into them (at least for the younger talents). However… I just hope we can avoid the vomit comet moving forwards. Or however the hell that works!
Their precious Prince of Poison is in the precarious position of potentially preening over his posthumous paramour again. Try saying that five times fast.
Great stuff kids, tell your friends! Well, at least the ones you aren't trying to kill… oops, ignore that last bit! And guess what: we ain't done, not apparently by a long shot! The weirdness is getting just weirder and weirder! Yeehaw and pass the strawberry margaritas (hold the roofies please)!
July 2, 2023
DEVIANT DARK DRYADS is the latest book of the False Icons series that is a spin off of Rick Gualtieri's BILL THE VAMPIRE/TOME OF BILL series. I've always enjoyed every book by this author, though I sometimes think that it relies a little too heavy on you remembering every detail from the other books. A few more reminders of who was doing what last volume and what the state of the world post-Strange Days is would be helpful. This volume has Jessie Flores having to deal with her insane mother and other relatives as well as the fact her good friend, Gary, may be turning evil. I enjoyed the book throughout but really wish Jessie had unloaded and slapped the snot out of at least a few of her tormentors. I like Jessie's idealism and the fact EVERY SINGLE character in the book torments her for it got a bit tiresome. Still, I absolutely can't wait for the sequel. 4 1/2 stars out of 5.
March 28, 2024
Where/when is book five?!?
I'll wait for it, however long it may be; and I won't forget where we left off. How could I?
I never wanted to stop reading -- but life gets in the way -- since I started with book one, but the build-up to the peak of THIS one left the others in the dust! Character building, secret reveals, and heart-pounding action have left me drained; but ready for more!
I'll wait for it, however long it may be; and I won't forget where we left off. How could I?
I never wanted to stop reading -- but life gets in the way -- since I started with book one, but the build-up to the peak of THIS one left the others in the dust! Character building, secret reveals, and heart-pounding action have left me drained; but ready for more!
April 20, 2025
The series will continue! If you've gotten this far, you're probably still enjoying yourself. I don't see why you wouldn't. My only "problem" with this novel is that Wyatt has become my second favorite character and he's not featured much in it. If that's the only complaint, though, we're doing great.
Displaying 1 - 4 of 4 reviews