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On Becoming Baby Wise, Book Two: Parenting Your Five to Twelve-Month Old Through the Babyhood Transition
It's reality-check time! You're at least four months into your tour of parenting, and the complexities of child training are starting to multiply. While your baby is growing physically, his mind is adapting with ever-increasing awareness to new sights, sounds, sensations and relationships. He can now interact with his material universe withgreater attentiveness. Watch out: big changes are coming to his world and yours! Preserving the order and structure that brought security to your baby's day, peaceful sleep in your baby's nights and stability in your home is still the priority, but now it must be viewed through a new developmental lens. For example, feeding time is more than a biological response initiated by a baby's sucking reflex. For the five-month-old, meal times become a complex and conscious interaction between him and his parents, food and drink, preference and need, likes and dislikes, must dos and won't dos!
150 pages, Paperback
First published January 1, 1994
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Displaying 1 - 30 of 222 reviews
May 11, 2011
Ezzo has good ideas, it's his "voice" that causes me to give this book a 2/3 star review. Not even his voice really, it's his lack of understanding. One of the first lessons anyone should learn about writing (this literally is one of the first things I teach my secondary grade English students) -- you need to KNOW your audience. Ezzo fails big time on that one.
He writes to "attachment" parents . . . when he should realize NO attachment style parent will get through the first five pages of his book -- if they even pick it up. He writes to mother's who are "careless" in the way they shape their child's behavior. Well, a mother with the "live and learn" approach to life isn't going to use a parent-help book to learn. She uses life. Thus the "live and learn." I can't believe Ezzo is oblivious to this.
His audience is a large group of educated women, and though he offers us great amounts of advice, he shouldn't hand it to us as if we are reckless and care free about child rearing.
All in all, I like his ideas. I feel like I'm reading an old Psychology text when I pick this up at night. I feel like I'm back in college, studying for a Friday exam (not a hard one, though). I like that approach. I love the "psychology" behind training child behavior . . . but again, I was a Psych minor for my undergrad . . . I am his audience. Not the 5 High School Freshmen from my homeroom who all happen to get pregnant during that trying year of infertility for my husband and I.
I'd suggest the Babywise series to any parent. I'd just remind them to take all advice (even the loving tidbits that come from Grandma) take it all with a grain of salt. Ezzo's routine saved my sanity and is the key reason my little one sleep 11 hours straight at night. But I have NEVER been close to following his time suggestions. Use the theories that work for you and your baby, and roll your eyes while skimming through the ones that just aren't for you.
He writes to "attachment" parents . . . when he should realize NO attachment style parent will get through the first five pages of his book -- if they even pick it up. He writes to mother's who are "careless" in the way they shape their child's behavior. Well, a mother with the "live and learn" approach to life isn't going to use a parent-help book to learn. She uses life. Thus the "live and learn." I can't believe Ezzo is oblivious to this.
His audience is a large group of educated women, and though he offers us great amounts of advice, he shouldn't hand it to us as if we are reckless and care free about child rearing.
All in all, I like his ideas. I feel like I'm reading an old Psychology text when I pick this up at night. I feel like I'm back in college, studying for a Friday exam (not a hard one, though). I like that approach. I love the "psychology" behind training child behavior . . . but again, I was a Psych minor for my undergrad . . . I am his audience. Not the 5 High School Freshmen from my homeroom who all happen to get pregnant during that trying year of infertility for my husband and I.
I'd suggest the Babywise series to any parent. I'd just remind them to take all advice (even the loving tidbits that come from Grandma) take it all with a grain of salt. Ezzo's routine saved my sanity and is the key reason my little one sleep 11 hours straight at night. But I have NEVER been close to following his time suggestions. Use the theories that work for you and your baby, and roll your eyes while skimming through the ones that just aren't for you.
February 22, 2008
An excellent follow-up to Baby Wise that continues to reinforce the understanding that order and routine in your child's life play a critical role in their growth, development, and relationship to the world around them. A must read for PDF parents wondering what to do when their babies reach the age where discipline, mobility and advanced communication are integrated into their days.
**HIGHLIGHTS**
"When you rightly train the heart of a child, you lay down a solid foundation for the other disciplines of life."
"Allowing a child unlimited freedom of exploration is developmentally unwise and unhealthy. Freedom is not the problem--the problem is the child's inability to handle the power of freedom."
"Training correctly from the start eliminates the need for correcting wrong behavior later. Be patient with your child, but above all, be proactive in the training process; proper training won't just happen."
"Discipline (as opposed to punishment) is a process of training and learning that fosters self-control and moral development."
"Young children learn from concrete experience, not abstract parental reasoning, so we train by instruction and reinforce compliance with encouragement and correction."
**HIGHLIGHTS**
"When you rightly train the heart of a child, you lay down a solid foundation for the other disciplines of life."
"Allowing a child unlimited freedom of exploration is developmentally unwise and unhealthy. Freedom is not the problem--the problem is the child's inability to handle the power of freedom."
"Training correctly from the start eliminates the need for correcting wrong behavior later. Be patient with your child, but above all, be proactive in the training process; proper training won't just happen."
"Discipline (as opposed to punishment) is a process of training and learning that fosters self-control and moral development."
"Young children learn from concrete experience, not abstract parental reasoning, so we train by instruction and reinforce compliance with encouragement and correction."
December 7, 2020
These books are a little dated, terrible on gender, and sort of meh. However they work great for boundaries and routine with babies. My twins have been sleeping 11-12 hours a night since they were 4months thanks to these books. Helpful but not incredibly great on being of the time.
May 26, 2012
I was forced to read the original form of these books as a nanny. It's nothing more than the deluded belief that you can control your child's behaviour by controlling their schedule and everything else in their life. Some of the advice is to intentionally tempt your child to sin so that you can spank them to teach them a lesson. They chalk right up there with the Pearls in the crazy category.
Their views also go against everything that God instilled in us as parents. Everything you naturally do as an instinctive parent, they tell you not to do. Babywearing is called primitive (with a few ethnic examples thrown in...of course, you would have to watch the tapes from one of their "leaders" to hear this). Co-sleeping is supposedly a detriment to marriage. Breastfeeding is discouraged after 6mos. Don't let your child learn to feed themselves, instead smack their hand and make them wait for you to give them each mouthful. This and more can be found in the classes and original version of this series. This version is simply a white washed version to make it more marketable.
Do yourself a favour and skip these.
Their views also go against everything that God instilled in us as parents. Everything you naturally do as an instinctive parent, they tell you not to do. Babywearing is called primitive (with a few ethnic examples thrown in...of course, you would have to watch the tapes from one of their "leaders" to hear this). Co-sleeping is supposedly a detriment to marriage. Breastfeeding is discouraged after 6mos. Don't let your child learn to feed themselves, instead smack their hand and make them wait for you to give them each mouthful. This and more can be found in the classes and original version of this series. This version is simply a white washed version to make it more marketable.
Do yourself a favour and skip these.
October 1, 2020
I enjoyed this second book much better than the first. For some reason it felt a lot more practical and do-able. The first one was too rigid and "one size fits all" for my type.
April 5, 2011
I'm really surprised that I even wanted to read this book. I read the first Baby Wise book, and initially was pretty appalled. Well, a month or so later, we ran into sleep problems and I decided that maybe Ezzo's sleep training isn't so horrendous after all. It's definitely not for everyone, and I don't think I could have stuck to a set schedule since I ran into milk supply issues and truly needed to feed on demand in order to keep my supply up.
Anyways, about this book... it was alright. It was very focused on the theoretical and provided few, if any, examples of Ezzo's philosophy. I was impressed by the section on highchair manners, but thought that some of the consequences were a little harsh. It did mention that the discipline methods were for pre-toddlers aged ten months or older and perhaps I'll feel that they are more appropriate when my infant is ten months old. Still, I can't imagine isolating my baby in her crib at such a young age because she disobeyed me. It seems a little much for a ten month old.
This book reminded me of how much my little one can take in at such a young age. I have always talked to her and explained what we were doing, but I decided that I can start using this dialog to teach her right from wrong. Thanks to this book, I am also trying to practice praising her often so that it will come more naturally to me as she gets older.
Ezzo can be a bit out there and, in my opinion, extreme but he does make some good points.
Anyways, about this book... it was alright. It was very focused on the theoretical and provided few, if any, examples of Ezzo's philosophy. I was impressed by the section on highchair manners, but thought that some of the consequences were a little harsh. It did mention that the discipline methods were for pre-toddlers aged ten months or older and perhaps I'll feel that they are more appropriate when my infant is ten months old. Still, I can't imagine isolating my baby in her crib at such a young age because she disobeyed me. It seems a little much for a ten month old.
This book reminded me of how much my little one can take in at such a young age. I have always talked to her and explained what we were doing, but I decided that I can start using this dialog to teach her right from wrong. Thanks to this book, I am also trying to practice praising her often so that it will come more naturally to me as she gets older.
Ezzo can be a bit out there and, in my opinion, extreme but he does make some good points.
August 11, 2019
Even better than Baby Wise I! Gary Ezzo echos many parenting philosophies that my mother instilled in me. Consistency, obedience, and the importance of parental authority are all themes throughout this volume in the Wise series. My only complaint/caution is this statement from Ezzo: "The job of the parent is to transform the heart from what it is to what it should be." In general, I believe Ezzo's parenting advice is consistent with scriptural principles. Children are foolish and need to be guided by their wiser, more experienced parents. However, a parent cannot change a child's heart. Only God can change the heart. The job of a christian parent is to correct a child in love and constantly point that child to Christ for He can change their heart.
October 2, 2017
This baby wise book was just "meh" compared to the first book in the series. I didn't find it nearly as helpful. It strays into generic parenting advice with the line "begin as you mean to go" repeated over and over. I personally feel that parenting is a learning experience for the parent as well, and it is constant adjustment and change. This line doesn't fit within the larger picture of what parenting is in my mind. There was a helpful area about sign language with pictures included, and I did find the section about introducing solids helpful. Unfortunately, the advice about food allergies is now outdated by new recommendations. Overall, I found the first book to be very helpful, but this one was underwhelming.
August 22, 2009
I wish I would have read this 6 months ago! Simple, practical advice on how to teach a pre-toddler to have good, moral behavior. Even though my baby can't speak, I learned that he understands A LOT. This helped me set higher expectations for him, and I'm seeing now that he is rising to the expectations I have for him. No manipulation, no power struggles, no spanking. I highly recommend it. Quick read -- read it in a day -- and I'm a slow reader!
May 24, 2017
Can't say enough about the Babywise series. I read the first Babywise book before Richard was born, and it provided the framework for me the first six months. Loved Babywise II just as much, since we are entering the phase of establishing boundaries and watching Richard explore his world, i.e. objects in our house.
March 31, 2024
There is some good stuff in here, but it's all so preachy and prescriptive. Which is ironic given how outdated lots of the information is. That being said, it did help me better figure out a better feeding schedule for my baby.
July 6, 2020
Helpful. “Begin as you mean to go” has been a guiding principle for instructing, encouraging, and correcting Mary along the right path.
This book also explains how to teach “blanket time” and independent play, which we haven’t yet tried but plan to. I do wish I had read this book earlier for the advice on baby food and how to progress to solids.
Another source I have found helpful to accompany Babywise II is a blog called “Babywise mom,” which provides concrete examples of the Babywise principles in action.
The longer I am a Christian and a mother, the more I see the beauty of order and structure to teach truth and goodness (not just for my child but also for me)! Appropriate boundaries teach a child (yes, even a baby) how to handle freedom and apply what he has learned to new situations.
A final note: one of the wisest chapters in this book is on the baby as a whole person and how in many ways we are not in control who the person we raise will be. But what is in our control is how we love and teach and discipline our children. No one on earth is going to care as much for the physical and spiritual well-being of a child more than his mom and dad. What an honor that God calls many to this work! And I would add most importantly that God calls the local Church to take lead with the parents in bringing up the children.
This book also explains how to teach “blanket time” and independent play, which we haven’t yet tried but plan to. I do wish I had read this book earlier for the advice on baby food and how to progress to solids.
Another source I have found helpful to accompany Babywise II is a blog called “Babywise mom,” which provides concrete examples of the Babywise principles in action.
The longer I am a Christian and a mother, the more I see the beauty of order and structure to teach truth and goodness (not just for my child but also for me)! Appropriate boundaries teach a child (yes, even a baby) how to handle freedom and apply what he has learned to new situations.
A final note: one of the wisest chapters in this book is on the baby as a whole person and how in many ways we are not in control who the person we raise will be. But what is in our control is how we love and teach and discipline our children. No one on earth is going to care as much for the physical and spiritual well-being of a child more than his mom and dad. What an honor that God calls many to this work! And I would add most importantly that God calls the local Church to take lead with the parents in bringing up the children.
October 31, 2024
I found the first book to be more helpful (though not perfect), and this second, short book seems like it was just a way for the authors to make a bit more money. While it does offer a bit of new information, much of the book was copy and pasted from the first book. On top of that, much of the advice given in this book is VERY outdated, particularly concerning feeding, correcting behavior, and safe sleep.
October 13, 2017
Meh, it was fine. I agreed with some concepts and disagreed with others, but of course in the end we'll see what actually works for us, etc. ;p
January 27, 2015
I would consider us to be a "Babywise family", having used the foundations of Babywise to guide my son into a routine, so I turned to Babywise II when we hit a 4 month sleep regression, started trying to figure out solids, etc. I did not find Babywise II half as helpful as Babywise. Not only is it a smaller book, most of the information is a repeat from Babywise, and the additional information…was not helpful or enlightening to me. The solids guidance seemed very canned, like it was produced by a baby food manufacturer: start Baby with rice cereal, after so many days, introduce stage 1 size jar of vegetables, serve these foods from this size jar at these meals. I was hoping to get more thorough information about the benefits and detriments of starting at 4, 5, 6, 9, 12, etc. months, the feeding cereal vs vegetables debate, and how starting solids would impact the rest of my son's feeding and sleeping routine (which is what Babywise said Babywise II would do!) At the very least I was hoping for encouraging commentary, something along the lines of: it's quite normal for your PDF baby to start waking up again at night and napping poorly at such and such a time and phase…try doing this or this or this.
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December 24, 2008I learned that babies, and children need schedule and predictability. It is important to establish this in the first year, so that when they are in the toddler stage, they are not surprised by new things, like bedtime, going to sleep without a bottle, etc. Also, it teaches about naps and feeding routines and what to encourage baby to do. I liked the book and found it both helpful and intimidating at the same time. I don't want to be a rigid mom, as i know is my nature, i want to be nurturing and create healthy and helpful boundaries for my children. This book is a great tool in helping you learn how to be both. Also, it stresses the importance of marriage first and modeling a healthy rel. to your kids. If your marriage is healthy, your children will reap many benefits. What i liked most is that it shows how not to be a child-centered parent. If any of you have been around these kids, they tend to be narcissitic and selfish. I want my child to feel special and know he is important, but not the center of my universe. I would recommend this book as a tool, but don't be too hard on yourself.
June 5, 2019
A very good resource book for 5months and up! It details how to introduce solids, and some help with sleep disturbances, also helps provide advice and activities for waketimes,and really details the development of a child. A quick read with great insights. I will probably be referring back to this one a few times like I did with the first babywise book.
I read a few negative reviews but after reading the book I think some of the people who reviewed this either misinterpreted it or didn't really read it.
It does not encourage stopping breastfeeding after 6 months, it puts the power in the mother hands for when she wants to stop. And as for establishing boundaries for children- it offers their view on things in a pretty neutral way. Take it or leave it. I actually thought some of the advice was a great reminder for even me and my 3yo boy. I was happily reminded to stay positive, foster his personality and uniqueness while providing balance, boundaries. There is no "handslapping" or physical punishment even mentioned so I'm thoroughly confused what book some of these reviewers read!
As always have discernment when reading anything written by another human being.
I read a few negative reviews but after reading the book I think some of the people who reviewed this either misinterpreted it or didn't really read it.
It does not encourage stopping breastfeeding after 6 months, it puts the power in the mother hands for when she wants to stop. And as for establishing boundaries for children- it offers their view on things in a pretty neutral way. Take it or leave it. I actually thought some of the advice was a great reminder for even me and my 3yo boy. I was happily reminded to stay positive, foster his personality and uniqueness while providing balance, boundaries. There is no "handslapping" or physical punishment even mentioned so I'm thoroughly confused what book some of these reviewers read!
As always have discernment when reading anything written by another human being.
February 11, 2008
This was a really helpful book. I am a first time mom and my son is just entering the pre-toddler stage. This book taught me how to give my son a good moral foundation and how to be a proactive parent and not a reactive one.
Topics it focuses on:
-Maintaining balance in your life and prioritizing your marriage
-Explanation of moral foundation
-Mealtime activities - introducing solids
-Highchair manners - how to correct inappropriate behaviors immediately
-Waketime activities - the need for structured alone playtime, family time, and free time play
-Discipline - principles of instruction
-Nap and Sleeptime activities - mom controls when naptime begins and ends, not the child
I thought this was a good follow-up to the first book. I am sure like most books, it sounds easier than it actually is to do. I do think it is a great guide which will help me as I learn to parent my pre-toddler.
Topics it focuses on:
-Maintaining balance in your life and prioritizing your marriage
-Explanation of moral foundation
-Mealtime activities - introducing solids
-Highchair manners - how to correct inappropriate behaviors immediately
-Waketime activities - the need for structured alone playtime, family time, and free time play
-Discipline - principles of instruction
-Nap and Sleeptime activities - mom controls when naptime begins and ends, not the child
I thought this was a good follow-up to the first book. I am sure like most books, it sounds easier than it actually is to do. I do think it is a great guide which will help me as I learn to parent my pre-toddler.
January 5, 2011
I loved looking at the reviews for this book. This is not a book for everyone. It is not a book you can read and have all of the answers to all of the different scenarios that could happen with your child.
As with Babywise,as you read it there is the sense that this is the only way to parent and if you don't do it this way you are in for trouble/bad/etc. You have to use your brain and use what works for you then move on. I can't believe how worked up people get about this.
I like the reminders of keeping us family centered, not child centered. There is some good advice on how to begin solids and high chair manners. I also appreciated the thoughts on beginning "discipline" (more like structure or self control) and independent play time.
I look forward to trying these out with my 6 month old daughter. Babywise has been a success so far and I would imagine the guideline set out here are useful too.
As with Babywise,as you read it there is the sense that this is the only way to parent and if you don't do it this way you are in for trouble/bad/etc. You have to use your brain and use what works for you then move on. I can't believe how worked up people get about this.
I like the reminders of keeping us family centered, not child centered. There is some good advice on how to begin solids and high chair manners. I also appreciated the thoughts on beginning "discipline" (more like structure or self control) and independent play time.
I look forward to trying these out with my 6 month old daughter. Babywise has been a success so far and I would imagine the guideline set out here are useful too.
July 1, 2014
I like the advice of "begin as you mean to go." It's a little stricter, more defined approach than I've used with my older kids. But I can see that setting boundaries early are a good thing. It's investing early and benefiting from the work later on.
I have used playpen time that the author suggests with Max since I now have two playpens. I love playpen time for when I'm getting the older kids breakfast and for when I'm making dinner. He rolls around in there and plays happily with his toys. I wish I had done this with the other kids. He uses one to sleeps in and one that we have near the kitchen that he plays in.
I like this practical approach to parents-in-charge parenting, and plan on reading the rest of the parenting books by this author.
I have used playpen time that the author suggests with Max since I now have two playpens. I love playpen time for when I'm getting the older kids breakfast and for when I'm making dinner. He rolls around in there and plays happily with his toys. I wish I had done this with the other kids. He uses one to sleeps in and one that we have near the kitchen that he plays in.
I like this practical approach to parents-in-charge parenting, and plan on reading the rest of the parenting books by this author.
June 11, 2011
Take any "parenting" book with a grain of salt. That said, Baby Wise 1 helped my newborn sleep thru the night at 7 weeks with no encouragement. Baby Wise 2 takes a sensible approach to introducing solids and helping your baby learn about their nefw world. It's got plenty of common sense, and is very "middle ground" as far as parenting goes; it's neither one extreme or the other. It's considerably less condescending than the first, which is refreshing, but has added religious touches that I didn't really need.
February 9, 2009
Garbage.
The only useful chapter was on Highchair manners.
The authors tell parents to teach once, not reteach later. While this is a useful concept, and one I'd like to employ, they give almost no real life examples.
Their notion of parent directed feeding schedule is out-dated. No one currently recommends restricting a baby's feedings to just 4 times per day: 7am, 11am, 3pm, and 7pm. The idea is cruel.
Just avoid the book. It's not even worth the quick skim I gave it.
The only useful chapter was on Highchair manners.
The authors tell parents to teach once, not reteach later. While this is a useful concept, and one I'd like to employ, they give almost no real life examples.
Their notion of parent directed feeding schedule is out-dated. No one currently recommends restricting a baby's feedings to just 4 times per day: 7am, 11am, 3pm, and 7pm. The idea is cruel.
Just avoid the book. It's not even worth the quick skim I gave it.
July 22, 2017
Baby Wise II is a short read that helps parents know what to expect in their child's pre-toddler development. The book covers introducing solid food, nap time, play time, discipline, and more. Since the book is concise and to the point, it does have an opinionated tone and can easily be interpreted as being the only right way. As with any book or advice, this book should be read with an open mind and critically thought through.
February 8, 2024
Terribly outdated with dangerous advice such as microwaving a bottle or having a baby sleep with a blanket.
On top of that, it discusses disciplining a baby as young as 10 months (not just correction action and redirection, but starting time outs this young???).
He also discusses how a baby can be manipulative and everything in the book was to benefit the parents as a “one size fits all” approach. I personally believe there are healthier, better approaches than what is listed in this book.
On top of that, it discusses disciplining a baby as young as 10 months (not just correction action and redirection, but starting time outs this young???).
He also discusses how a baby can be manipulative and everything in the book was to benefit the parents as a “one size fits all” approach. I personally believe there are healthier, better approaches than what is listed in this book.
April 10, 2008
I suck; this is the kind of crap I read these days. The authors of this series of books have some pretty conservative and rigid parenting philosophies, but we applied the approaches from the first book with fairly consistent and permanent success. I think there's a good strategy on teaching discipline here, but I skipped over the passages I don't like.
September 13, 2024
This book was not all that helpful in my opinion. This book repeats a lot of information from the first book while adding small little tidbits. I also didn't agree with a lot of the parenting advice portions of this book.
January 8, 2009
This book is DANGEROUS!
July 5, 2019
As a new mom it's so nice to have something to help give me structure and guidance - especially since most of my friends aren't parents. However, this copy's info on allergies is not up to date.
June 25, 2023
Great principles. Though, the food related content is not advisable. The underlying foundation and sleep principles are great.
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August 26, 2024A surprisingly (I’m not being sarcastic) unhelpful book from the people who literally wrote Babywise. The flow of this short book (literally only 100 pages long) is confusing. It is organized not entirely chronologically, but mostly by topic. You are constantly on a wild goose chase searching for information that is relevant at a particular point in time (5 month old, 9 month old, etc.) at different points of the book. There is a chapter dedicated to month 4 (yay!), but then feeding is a topic, and then at page 85 (of 100!) sleeping is just introduced as a topic. There are serious issues with the feeding on-ramp - apparently your child should go from eating nothing (read: completely liquid diet) to eating a quarter cup of solids three times a day, within FIVE DAYS. Unless your child is a heavyweight champ, I absolutely cannot see that being viable. There is a lot of repeated information from Q&A in the 4 month old chapter, so that was annoying. There are discrepancies between Prep for Parenting and Babyhood Transitions as far as when “merges” occur for feed-wake-sleep cycles. Considering there is no change in publisher or author, you’d think this would be clearer. As with the previous book, the language is deeply dated and should be modernized so it actually translates to a younger audience. I am a millennial so yes, I know what a stereo is, but I question whether the youngest first time parents have actually ever seen one, and it is used as an illustration time and again. Also, random aside/pet peeve for a reader, the book is an awkward size and doesn’t match the others in the series. Parents with children at that transitional age could, like me, be DEEPLY OVERWHELMED (and get this, I read and mostly follow their philosophy, so none of this is completely new to me). I think the resources made by parenting companies should try harder to avoid overwhelming their audience that are already in a potentially chaotic season. I don’t have time to read anything cover to cover in a sitting, so this needs to act like a 1. reference guide that is 2. easy to navigate and is 3. consistent with other books published by the same people.
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