InvisiBilidade: Cultura, Ciência e a História Secreta da Bissexualidade

by Julia Shaw

Neste livro instigante e esclarecedor, Julia Shaw, psicóloga e autora best-seller internacional, analisa a ciência da sexualidade independentemente de gênero. Julia, que estuda que estuda o tema há anos e se declara bissexual, aborda a ciência e a cultura da atração para além da sexualidade normativa e binária.

Genres: Nonfiction, Queer, LGBT, History, Audiobook, Science, Sexuality

272 pages, Paperback

First published May 1, 2022

About the author

Julia Shaw is an honorary research associate at the University College London. Born in Germany and raised in Canada, she has a MS in psychology and law and a PhD in psychology from the University of British Columbia. She is a regular contributor to Scientific American.

Reviews

[Leire L · Rating 4 out of 5]

I was initially going to give this book five stars, but after the final chapter, I can't wholeheartedly say it deserves it. Trust me, as a bi girl in a long-term relationship with a man, I understand feeling like you need to reaffirm your sexuality- but you already wrote a whole book about it! There's no need to backtrack your argument about how bisexual people are overly sexualised by telling your reader, "you and I both know they sound hot!" when talking about threesomes. There's no need to include the reader in this statement, especially under the assumption that they're bi. Is that not playing into the negative stereotypes you just criticised?

Other than this (maybe skip the last chapter unless you're super interested in nonmonogamy), it is such an affirming and interesting book; there are so many aspects to bisexuality that surprised me, so I would still strongly recommend it, especially if you or someone important to you is bi :)

[Richard Derus · Rating 5 out of 5]

Real Rating: 4.5* of five, rounded up for the "Bidentity List"

I RECEIVED A DRC FROM THE PUBLISHER VIA NETGALLEY. THANK YOU.

My Review: I've contended publicly that bisexuality is the disrespected stepchild of the QUILTBAG community. When one says "bisexual" without the modifier "man/male" the presumption is one's referring to a woman/female. And that's what Author Shaw has set out to correct...that sense of non-inclusion that heteronormative society, whether straight or gay, attaches to labeled people. No one ever explains to you, "oh, I'm straight" because we assume they are unless they make a point of not being. And bisexuality, being by its nature focused on sexual activity, is simply not an acceptable identity in the heteronormative prescriptivist world.

Author Shaw, who also includes a lot of other identities in her discussion, corrects this misperception with an assertion that bisexuality is in fact an identity and to diminish that is to indulge in bi erasure. When that erasure comes at you from all sources and angles, including the one with a letter for your identity in its public face, that can feel disheartening and rejecting.

What Author Shaw does is build a good case, based on research and science, for the existence and validity of the identity "bisexual" as a separate thing. It's an equal to "gay" or "lesbian" or "straight" (which term I dislike because its connotation is "as opposed to 'bent'" and that doesn't thrill me) not a way-station on a road heading one way or the other. Thinking outside binaries is the great revolution in consciousness of this century. It's a giant gift to our descendants to recognize, affirm, and support their outside-our-experience identities. That does mean, however, learning what those identities are as well as what they want to be called.

Learning about bisexuality is not the challenge it was in the past. When I was a teen and wondering what to call myself ("faggot" wasn't gonna cut it for internal monologues, but it's accurate) I found a book called Loving Them Both: A Study of Bisexuality by Colin MacInnes, son of Angela Thirkell and her first husband. "Maybe that fits," I thought after reading it. It didn't, but at least I found something to help me try on an identity that just does not exist in pop culture. That book existed for me; it gave me information I'd never have found otherwise (though it was written in 1970 and was very much of its time); and the newcomers to adolescence and adulthood need the same help I found. That's Author Ward's book.

That she is a psychologist, with a special interest in criminality, makes me believe her research chops are top-notch even if I don't know what sources she's used. Consulting the Notes will disabuse anyone of the notion that she's just makin' it up. This is someone who makes a living as a psychologist, there's no way in heck she doesn't cite her sources. And they're impressively complete and diverse.

What's all this in aid of? It's a sad fact that, like most people who are bisexual, Author Ward wasn't really sure what that meant or if it, as an identity not a sexual desire, really existed. Unlike most people, she set out to do something to help people in their own searches for identity when they're feeling surer and surer that "straight" is for jackets not for them. There's always a process in developing an identity. In most cultures it's called "growing up." In modern Western culture, we're possessed of both a bewildering freedom to decide for ourselves and a grim paucity of examples for anything outside heteronormative society. Remember I said the author was a psychologist? Bet you can't guess what she did....

These are Author Ward's "Six Stages of Bidentity Development."

Stage 1. Loneliness: I must be the only one who feels this way, no one ever talks about it.
Stage 2. Euphoria: I'm NOT the only one! Say hallelujah and bring the jubilee!! Now I can start living!
Stage 3. Disappointment: What do you mean, I'm not queer/activist/leftist/whatever enough?! I'm just ME! What's with this judgment?
Stage 4. Mourning: How can anyone stand to be so cruel/ignorant/prejudiced? I'm a real person!

Stage 5. Anger: HOW DARE YOU?!? We are valid, real people with feelings and needs!
Stage 6. Peace: Wait...I am real, I have loved ones and others who accept me and are like me, and nothing the jackanapes do or say will make that different. (I call this the "It's not what you call me, it's what I answer to" stage.)

If you take no other thing away from reading this review, I hope it is that there is something out there in the world that can support and guide those not satisfied with the heteronormative world's offerings towards a different, possibly more comfortable and complete, identity. If you know someone who's on that journey, if you might be yourself, or if you're just curious about what the hell all the fuss is about, read Author Ward's enjoyable, informative, and authoritative prose.

No one needs to feel alone. Not when Author Ward's here to show a new path.

[Meike · Rating 4 out of 5]

Wow, this is by far Shaw's best book - although, let's be honest, I didn't expect much from a criminal psychologist writing about gender and sexuality. But as it turns out, Shaw, herself bisexual, went deep into the history, science and politics of bisexuality, and crafted a highly interesting text full of studies, stats, historical episodes and personal anecdotes relating to her personal experiences. It's once again pop psychology, but well done, especially as I have to admit that I never really thought much about the lived experiences of bisexual people - now I'm smarter, so thanks, Julia Shaw.

I liked Shaw's The Memory Illusion: Remembering, Forgetting, and the Science of False Memory, but I really disliked Evil: The Science Behind Humanity's Dark Side, so to me, her work is hit and miss - this one's clearly a winner though. Good reading for Pride Month. You can also check out an interview with the author here.

[Henk · Rating 3 out of 5]

Interesting topic, with some history, biology and sociology being combined. However not as strong or focused on real life experiences as I would have hoped
You are either gay, or your straight, or you are lying

I feel Ace: What Asexuality Reveals About Desire, Society, and the Meaning of Sex did this better in respect to asexuality, definitely an interesting read but could have been more impactful and in-depth. There are definitely a lot of interesting facts in Bi: The Hidden Culture, History, and Science of Bisexuality, like: 0.5% to 3.1% of the population identifying as bisexual, include quite a few of the 10.000 men being in nazi camps for being gay.
Also the Dutch COC being mentioned as possibly the oldest LGBT organisation in the world was nice.

The whole "bisexual people were seen as sleeping with the enemy" and debate of essentialism (born this way) vs social constructivism (formed by experiences) is interesting if sometimes a bit esoteric, and I don't understand how a statistic quotes as 8% to 25% of sexual orientation being genetically wired was researched.
Actually a lot of the earlier sections of the book are about homosexuality, with observations like:
- 17 male-male giraffes mounted each other and 1 heterosexual pair being observed, being extrapolated to 90% of giraffes are gay
- Domesticated rams have a c. 8% persistent preference for other rams
- Gay for the stay, referring to sexual activity changing when the sex ratio in populations are strongly skewed
- Bonobos having 30 socio-sexual (e.g. for fun or relaxation) interactions per day and almost no intra group aggression.

When we get more to the modern era we have a bit more on real people, like bi people being half as likely of being out than gays or lesbians, especially applicable for bi-men, and 4 out of 10 bisexuals in UK not being out in their work.
Modern day culture wars don't help off course: She says she likes both, because she wants to hop on another woke bandwagon - modern day biphobia

Double discrimination by both straight and gay people, with experiments showing that bisexual people are allotted a 15% lower starting salary and a lower starting salary than gay potential employees and bisexual women being victims of sexual violence much more often than either lesbians or straight women.
And still visibility is a big topic. What do bisexuals look like? A research on how heterosexuals and gays have a perceived style while bisexuals didn’t have a particular style that came to mind for a public surveyed.
Lack of bi-spaces, where people feel they are the majority and sexual orientation doesn’t need to be discussed at all.
And bi identity being overwhelmingly white, lacking intersectionality.

I missed a bit of the view from the ground, with normal lives of bi people in the picture (besides that of the author), which Ace does expertly for asexuality. Observations like only 60 bisexual politicians registered from 1977 in the whole world say something, but if they are so marginalised it might have been nice to have spoken to them and give them a voice in this book.

A lot of the latter part of the book are more about how monogamy as a societal norm is also undermining acceptance of bi sexuality. Statements like: Men are allowed to do gay stuf once, to ensure they are not gay (about the stigmatization on male-male-female threesomes) are interesting if one realises that having had a threesome is as common as having a cat, between 10% and 17% of adults (but only 2-3% saying they’d engaged in group sex in the last year). Meanwhile we have some ethical, consensual non-monogamy observations, in a world where according to the author over 1/3 of people (including heterosexuals) having had an open relationship.

Overall this is an interesting topic but I feel more thorough execution could have helped enormously to better understand the topic and have a more human perspective on what being bisexual in the current world means.

[CaseyTheCanadianLesbrarian · Rating 2 out of 5]

Probably 2.5 stars?

Overall, I just dont feel like Shaw has much to say that's new, particularly interesting, or intellectually challenging, even to heterosexual or monosexual norms. I found her discussions of complicated issues at best unintentionally omissive or at worst harmfully reductive. For example, when she discusses the concept of coming out and negative and positive views of it, I was expecting her to at least mention that it's a white, western, colonial way of conceiving of sexual identity. But there's nothing of the sort, which makes her look like an inadequate researcher and/or someone who hasn't learned to address her own biases.

When she discusses the state of queer rights globally, she writes "for those of us who do not live in danger ... [should] lend our voices to those who cannot speak ... helping to give a voice to those who cannot have one." Cringe. It is not the job of white western people to speak for / over people who aren't, and it's incredibly harmful and presumptive to assume they are voiceless. I also think there are a lot of interesting things to be said about the intersections between bisexuality and nonmonogamy, but the chapter on this topic sadly doesn't offer them.

Maybe that means this book is more suited to bi+ people who've recently come out or who aren't knowledgeable about bi+ and queer history/culture/theory. The "bisexual closet" chapter, which shares a lot of research on bi+ people being significantly less likely to be out in various contexts compared to gay men and lesbians, on biphobic discrimination in workplaces, disproportionately bad mental health and increased rates of sexual assault and harassment vs monosexual peers, is really informative (if somewhat depressing). The discussion of bisexual people being significantly less likely to obtain refugee status than gay or lesbian people in countries like the UK and the US in "It's Political" is useful too. But I'm worried about the limitations of Shaw's research, particularly the lack of nuance and attention to the issues I've mentioned.

[Ashley · Rating 2 out of 5]

literally a buzzfeed article

[Sophy H · Rating 2 out of 5]

Ermmmmm.

Hmmmm.

This is a tough one to review. Although it's fairly well written, I think the issue with this book lies with the fact that most of the information covered has been covered in other queer studies, kind of making this book an unnecessary indulgence.

The title states "the hidden culture, history and science of Bisexuality". We get a little of the culture and the history but the science? Really? I didn't come across much science between these pages if I'm honest. There was much talk of the author's personal experience, talk of polygamy, talk of threesomes (all those things that squash the theory that bisexuals are promiscuous right?!)

I just found it all a little basic and pointless. The author maybe just should have stuck to writing say an autobiographical account of her experience of bisexuality, rather than trying to make a textbook out of it.

Very average writing. Off to my local library for donation.

[Mandy]

I'd like to dedicate the completion of this book to my biphobic ex-boyfriend :)

[Daria · Rating 4 out of 5]

TWs fürs buch: s*xualisierte g*walt, lgbtqia-feindlichkeit, besonders eben bi-feindlichkeit, rassismus.

ich fand es total informativ und interessant, es lohnt sich wirklich zu lesen. ich fand die sprache an vielen stellen allerdings ziemlich unsensibel, so wurde beispielsweise das i-wort genutzt und teils ableistische formulierungen verwendet. ein gutes sensitivity reading hätte das schnell vermeiden können und ich halte das für ein muss, besonders wenn man an anderen stellen die relevanz intersektionaler perspektiven betont.

es geht viel um g*walt und diskriminierung, was aus der queeren geschichte ja aber einfach nicht löschbar ist. ich erwähne es trotzdem hier, weil man beim lesen dazu in der lage sein muss und es keine triggerwarnungen im buch gibt.

ich fand das buch insgesamt aber so wichtig und empowernd! es wird sich sonst wirklich nie mit bisexualität beschäftigt, es hat sehr gut getan, dass das thema hier seinen raum bekommt. must-read.

[Bryn · Rating 2 out of 5]

Woof. This liberal white feminist take on bisexuality is simply not the book we needed or deserved. I am most dismayed by Shaw’s uncritical take on bi/queerphobia from Islamic countries and individuals, where she seems to accept the premise that Islam is especially queerphobic and fails to include any words or perspectives from bisexual Muslims. Her writing on incarcerated men’s sexual behavior also set my teeth on edge.

It wasn’t all bad, and I did appreciate the bisexual history of the AIDS crisis. The highlight of the book for me was learning that rams are kinda gay? Aries szn etc etc

[aza · Rating 4 out of 5]

This is the type of book that can help people of any sexuality find themselves

Author Julia Shaw walks us through a history of bisexuality, including different ways that queerness has been tested amoung people over the years. Discovering how far back research into what feels like modern day sexuality terminology has existed was really mind opening for me and I've been bothering people about it for months since reading this book.

There are also interactive segments of the book that allow the reader a chance to reflect on their own thoughts and sexuality. There is one chart toward the beginning that really stuck out to me - you fill one side out with a scale for a few different topics from your past (ie, "having a relationship with, sexually preferring, or romantically pursing) vs your present, vs who you want to be.

Sexuality is fluid and everchanging, and this book is a friendly and refreshing reminder of that. I highly recommend regardless of your sexuality, it's a good experience into making you think about yourself, without feeling like you're "putting yourself in a box", so to speak.

[laurel [the suspected bibliophile] · Rating 4 out of 5]

For my bi friends, for my straight friends, for my queer friends, for my friends who grew up in the 2000s' "hot bi coed" era.

Definitely give this a little read.

Some of the sections were drier than the others, but overall a really good read that boils down to:

[Rebecca · Rating 3 out of 5]

Shaw is a criminal psychologist; her third book is a departure for her thematically, but means a lot to her personally. Bisexuality is the largest minority sexuality group, yet bisexuals are less likely to be out because of misconceptions and stereotypes – there are fewer outward signals and less group identification – which can sometimes result in poor mental health. Shaw realized how tricky bi identity was when a German TV show wanted to base a character on her but didn’t know how to make her sexuality obvious to viewers (lingering glances/flirtations involving both men and women? a backstory about a previous relationship with a woman?), and when trying to figure out what to wear to gay bars.

The book aims to situate bisexuality historically and scientifically. The term “bisexual” has been around since the 1890s, with the Kinsey Scale and the Klein Grid early attempts to add nuance to a binary view. Shaw delights in the fact that the mother of the Pride movement in the 1970s, Brenda Howard, was bisexual. She also learns that “being behaviourally bisexual is commonplace in the animal kingdom,” with many species engaging in “sociosexual” behaviour (i.e., for fun rather than out of reproductive instinct). It’s thought that 83% of bisexuals are closeted, mostly due to restrictive laws or norms in certain parts of the world – those seeking asylum may be forced to “prove” bisexuality, which, as we’ve already seen, is a tough ask. And bisexuals can face “double discrimination” from the queer community.

It felt odd to me that a final chapter on bisexual relationships ended up being mostly about threesomes, such that my main question (as she puts it: “what are the problems with the assumed link between bisexuality and non-monogamy?”) only merited four pages. A valuable book, certainly, but one to read for information rather than entertainment or thoughtful prose.

Originally published on my blog, Bookish Beck, on 23 September, Bi Visibility Day.

[Zoe (inactive) · Rating 4 out of 5]

Den pride month erstmal gediegen mit einem nerdigen Buch für bi nerds anfangen :D
War einiges interessantes dabei, von Bi Erasure und Vorurteilen über Kinsey Skala bis hin zu Bi Joy.
Viele Studien, viele Infos.
Ein bisschen gestört hat mich nur dass das Kapitel über bisexuellen Sexualverhalten direkt mit den Thema Dreier eingestiegen ist und der auch viel intensiver abgehandelt wurde als alles andere in dem Kapitel. Ich habe noch nie innerhalb von ein paar Seiten so oft die Phrase "Sex zu dritt" gelesen xD
Aber auf jeden Fall empfehlenswert für die restlichen queeren (und nicht queeren) Nerds.

[Saskia · Rating 3 out of 5]

I found this really frustrating to read but I also did learn stuff. Didn’t enjoy the tone and the way the author navigated the line between colloquial vibes and Serious Information. But also I am now noticing so much (!!) bi erasure in the wild and am much more aware of the specific issues the bi community faces (and that there are fr specific issues)

[Sheree | Keeping Up With The Penguins · Rating 4 out of 5]

Bi will obviously be of most interest to bisexual readers, but it has plenty to offer a general audience too. I would especially recommend it to straight allies and loved ones of people who have recently come out as bi.

My full review of Bi is up now on Keeping Up With The Penguins.

[Paula · Rating 5 out of 5]

bi-ble

[Maher Razouk · Rating 5 out of 5]

كان أول استخدام لكلمة ثنائي الميول الجنسية في اللغة الإنجليزية ، بمعنى الانجذاب الجنسي لأشخاص من الجنسين (ذكور وإناث) ، على الأرجح في عام 1892 عندما قام طبيب الأعصاب الأمريكي تشارلز جيلبرت تشادوك بترجمة كتاب "اعتلال النفس الجنسي'' ، وهو كتاب مؤثر للطبيب النفسي الألماني ريتشارد فون كرافت إيبينغ . الذي وصف ما اعتبره اضطرابات جنسية لدى السجناء الذكور. كان الكتاب مخصصًا لإعدادات الطب الشرعي الإكلينيكي ، وقد كتبه كرافت إيبينغ بلغة صعبة عن قصد وبأجزاء باللاتينية حتى لا يتمكن الأشخاص العاديون من قراءته. لعب الكتاب دورًا مهمًا ومثيرًا للجدل في المناقشة بين الأطباء النفسيين في ذلك الوقت ، الذين كانوا يحاولون فهم سبب رغبة الناس في الجنس المثلي .

لماذا لم توجد هذه المصطلحات من قبل؟

كما جادلت مؤرخة النشاط الجنسي هان بلانك ، لم يكن الناس في البلدان الناطقة باللغة الإنجليزية يفكرون حقًا في الجنسانية كهوية قبل ذلك. لم يفكروا في أنه يجب "التمييز بينهم من خلال أنواع الحب أو الرغبة الجنسية التي عاش��ها". كانت هناك كلمات لوصف أنواع السلوك الجنسي التي يمارسها الناس ، لكن الجنس كان في الغالب شيئًا يفعله الناس ، وليس جزءًا من هويتهم.
بمجرد أن أصبحت الحياة الجنسية جزءًا سياسيًا ساخنًا من الهوية ، أراد الناس طرقًا لتحديد هذه التسميات الجنسية الجديدة. سرعان ما أصبحت المشكلة أن ما كان يقصده شخص ما عندما استخدم تسمية مثل ثنائي الميول الجنسية ، بدا مختلفًا تمامًا عما كان يقصده شخص آخر ، وهي مشكلة لا تزال تشكل عقبة رئيسية أمام الباحثين اليوم.
.
Julia Shaw
Bi
Translated By #Maher_Razouk

[Armin Klica · Rating 5 out of 5]

„Wir sollten jenen, die nicht sprechen können, unsere Stimme leihen. Jede*r, der oder die laut ausspricht, dass er oder sie bisexuell, schwul oder lesbisch ist oder eine andere nicht-heterosexuelle Identität hat, hilft denjenigen, die keine Stimme besitzen.“

In ihrem neuen Sachbuch begibt sich Dr. Julia Shaw auf die Suche nach der Bisexualität.
Sie selbst bezeichnet sich als bisexuell, aber merkte sehr schnell, dass es an Informationen zu Bisexualität mangelt - trotz aller Fortschritte für die LGBTQ+-Rechte.
Geschickt geht Julia an das Thema ran und stellt sich zunächst alle Fragen, die sie sich selbst zu dem Thema gestellt hat und auch Fragen, die sich die Gesellschaft oft stellt.
Auch in der queeren Community wird die Bisexualität nicht ernst genommen, so viel steht fest.

Mir war klar, dass ich dieses Buch unbedingt lesen wollte, um mehr darüber erfahren zu wollen. Julia Shaw benutzt den Begriff ‚Bisexualität‘ als einen Oberbegriff für alle die sich mehr als zu einem Geschlecht hingezogen fühlen.
Zunächst geht sie geschichtlich und dann kulturell an die eigene Analyse ran. Die Studien aus der Biologie zählt Julia auf und erläutert sie verständlich. Interessant finde ich natürlich, dass Lebensrealitäten aus intersektionaler Sicht mit eingebaut werden, weil bekanntlich sind es die Ausnahmen, die die ‚Regeln‘ bestätigen.

Klischees wie ‚Sex zu dritt‘ oder ‚man kann ja viele Liebhaber_innen haben‘ versucht sie aufzugreifen und vertieft dieses Thema am meisten.

Eigentlich will ich nicht viel sagen, außer dass ihr es kaufen solltet und es unbedingt lesen müsst.
Somit bringen wir als Gesellschaft, als eine Allianz die Bisexualität mehr zum Vorschein und weniger Menschen müssten sich davon fürchten sich als bisexuelll zu outen.
Denn aus dem Buch wird deutlich, dass bisexuelle Menschen am häufigsten aller LGBT+ Personen unter mentaler Gesundheit leiden. Vor allem werden bisexuelle Frauen hypersexualisiert und erfuhren laut einer Studie der National Intimate Partner Violence Suvery des Centre for Disease Control 61 Prozent der bisexueller Frauen physische Gewalt und/oder Stalking durch ihren Intimpartner (s.143).
Lesenswert!

[Heidi · Rating 4 out of 5]

This book was an excellent introduction to the history of bisexuality, and it included a ton of great facts and statistics that I did not know previously. Often, bisexuality is ignored both by the hetero and queer communities alike, so it was great to see bisexuality receive its due focus. There were some chapters that were more difficult to read than others, such as the depiction of the oppression faced particularly by bisexual folx, but those chapters were necessary to digest. I also loved the lighter chapters about bisexuality in the animal kingdom, the nature of “dressing like a bisexual,” and finding joy in one’s identity.

I did wish that the author had focused more on the intersections between the bi community and the ace community, speaking as someone who identifies as part of the bi ace community. There was a brief mention of asexuality but it didn’t go any further than that, and I wish Shaw had included more about that particular intersection. I also thought it a bit strange that the author spends so much time trying to deconstruct the idea of the hypersexual bisexual, and the last chapter is all about “you and I both know threesomes sound hot.” I do think it’s important to discuss the topic of ethical nonmonogamy, but it felt a bit like rhetorical whiplash. However, the author does a great job at exploring other intersections, such as bisexual people of color and bisexual nonbinary and trans individuals.

That said, this book pairs well with other similar explorations, like Ace by Angela Chen or The Transgender Issue by Shon Faye, and I’d recommend it to anyone who is looking to expand their queer library.

[Danielle Russell · Rating 4 out of 5]

This book is unlike what I typically read. Not because of the topic or genre, but rather from the topic and genre together. I prefer to read fictional stories with LGBTQ+ rep, versus from an educational, Nonfiction perspective. But I am so glad that I decided to pick up this book!

While I am not exactly out with my bisexuality, I wouldn't say I'm closeted. (If you know me and are reading this, and I haven't told you yet --- SURPRISE!) So my review comes from a baby bi's perspective. The book tackles so many difficult topics about what it means (and doesn't mean) to be bisexual... it ranges in topics of the history of bisexuality being studied, where bisexuality can be found in nature, the difficulties of coming out and bi-erasure, and political steps forward (and backwards) of various countries around the world. The book is a wealth of knowledge, and Julia Shaw did a fantastic job with the information she puts forth.

It's not a quick read by any means, and it's not one to devour in a weekend. Rather, it's a book to read at a slower pace, too really appreciate the information within.


Thank you to Netgalley for providing me with a free advanced copy of this title in exchange for an honest review.

[➸ Gwen de Sade · Rating 4 out of 5]

I used to not want to believe it when I read somewhere that bisexual people have to deal with the biggest stigma, but now I do.

I'm not the biggest fan of labels because we always have to remember that it's only an intermediate step towards equality. An intermediate step that is necessary, but also one where we shouldn't dwell too long - ideally.

For this reason, I couldn't do much with the first third of the book, but from then on I learned a lot, especially about myself, but also got food for thought about my environment.

I absolutely recommend it, I don't know any work in this direction!

[Mara · Rating 5 out of 5]

I genuinely recommend this book to anyone, specifically to people who identify as bisexual (or as anything under the bi-umbrella, pan, omni, more that I'm currently forgetting), but also to people who don't.
Julia Shaw has written a book that reads as easily as a popular science magazine, with the sources and the skills as they are found in published academic papers. As someone who rarely reads non-fiction for pleasure, as I read plenty of academic papers for work, I found this very impressive.
The chapters are well thought-out, delve into the history of bisexuality, the biology, the (intersectional) identity, and the absolute horrors that exist in the world for people who identify as queer, and speficially those who identify as bi. I had to put the book away multiple times for multiple days during that chapter. I knew the world sucked, but it still managed to surprise me.
Genuinely a great book, please do yourself and any bisexuals in your social circle the favour and read this book.

[Grace · Rating 4 out of 5]

4.5 stars

Very approachable writing, straightforward and factual but also clearly written with passion and personal experience. Shaw finds a great balance between giving you the facts and figures while inserting her own experiences and opinions as a bisexual woman.

Quite frankly, I wish this book were longer. I wanted more of both the content and the author's writing. But also, I wish there had been more discussion around asexuality and how that fits under the bi umbrella--not all of bi attraction is centered on sexual attraction.

For a short read, this book packs a punch and gives plenty of up-to-date (within the past five years) research. Over time, it could definitely have subsequent editions to keep up with changing statistics and international policies on LGBT and specifically bisexual issues.

[Sierra Lynn · Rating 4 out of 5]

okay I am a little emotional rn so I will keep this brief haha, I thought Shaw had an excellent writing style that really engaged you despite the very content heavy nature of this type of book. I enjoyed reading this and would recommend it to others interested in this type of work.

[Anne (ReadEatGameRepeat) · Rating 2 out of 5]

this isn't the worst book out there, maybe my expectations were just too high - I think at best this just reads as a little self-indulgent for the author to hype herself up and at worst feels a bit confused and accidentally keeps leaning into the stereotypes its trying to disprove. I think if you just want to know a lot of fun facts about bisexual research this is probably a good book to pick up, however it does get quite depressing since a lot of the facts aren't actually that fun.

I will say one thing I really liked at the start of this book was that I loved how seen it made me feel and how it had a lot of interesting history about Bisexuality and research into that identity. I also enjoyed that while this references a lot of academic texts the tone of this book always stayed quite conversational, like chatting with a friend or a buzzfeed article. I liked the way the author comibined all three topics, although sometimes it did just feel like she was throwing all the facts she could find on a topic at you and sometimes it felt a bit like she was framing the research in a way to support her argument when the research in reality didn't support her argument at all.

Unfortunately this quickly vanished as the author keeps inserting herself and how amazing she thinks her own idenity is, she also projects a lot of her self onto the reader and while this isn't the worst thing inherently it just irked me so much. I'm just dissapoined because as I sadi before at the start of this book I just felt really seen, but by the end I just felt less connected to the bi-community than I have before, I had several moments in this book where I thought that maybe I wasn't bi at all becuase the author kept making these statements about her bi experience like they should be everyone's experiences when a lot of them were just unrelatable to me. It just made me feel bad about myself and I kind of resent the book for that, especially since it started out making me feel so welcomed.

[Erla Diljá]

hinsegin lestrarátak Erlu Diljár ER HAFIÐ ☄️💥

smá healing að lesa 🌪️🪐❤️

[Nina]

Something about the writing or tone of this didn't totally work for me. I can't say that I really learned a lot or that any of the studies, etc. stood out enough for me to remember. That said, what this book did do for me was validate a lot of feelings I've had over the years, and highlight why it's important for me to be out, even as a happily married, monogamous person. Books like this ARE necessary, because they can help people understand that bisexuality is, in fact, a THING. And talking about why it's not always visible will hopefully help people understand that it doesn't mean it's not real. Growing up as a girl attracted to boys, I just assumed that all "straight" girls were also attracted to girls, but we just didn't talk about it. That's why they would kiss me at a party and never speak of it again? Until I was in my 20s and said to my friend (hi friend if you remember this) something along the lines of "I'm pretty sure everyone can be gay for the right person" and she said something along the lines of "no, I'm only attracted to guys." And then my brain was like... huh? ANYWAY, if books like this existed when I was growing up, I never came across them or maybe I'd have figured myself out sooner.

Uh... right... this book. It's aight. I'll probably look for more bi books now that I'm really digging into my identity. I'm not sure this was the right one for me, but there were definitely parts of it that made me feel like I'm a real person. And that's the important part, right?

P.S. if somehow we're friends on Goodreads and not Instagram, I am bi.

[K · Rating 4 out of 5]

3.5/5. This is a short and helpful introduction to bisexuality, the history of how we understand it, and its place within queer culture and academia.

This book isn’t too dense—I saw another review describe Shaw’s approach as “pop psychology” and that feels correct. After reading Dianna E. Anderson’s “In Transit” recently, though, I found myself wishing Shaw had gone deeper and explored certain themes more thoroughly.

Still, I took a lot away from portions of this book, particularly on the topic of bi erasure in the LGBTQIA+ community, in academia, in pop culture, in society, and under the law. It’s critically important to understand and I was grateful for many parts of Shaw's work. It's clear this was a personal and passion project for her.

I wish I could stand beside every bisexual, gently take their hand with a little squeeze that indicates It’s Ok, and then See, you’re here, while pointing at history books, scientific research, and popular media. I would want it to be a tender moment that instills a sense of belonging. It’s not just bisexual people who need to know this. I want everyone to really see bisexuality and bisexuals in all aspects of the world around them.
We aren’t hidden away in dark and mysterious places.
We are right here.
We always have been.

[Grace · Rating 5 out of 5]

I honestly really, really enjoyed this book! I was drawn to this one because the content is relevant to me personally, but hadn't anticipated just how validating it would feel to see so much of myself reflected in this book's contents. I felt seen in a way that I hadn't realized I needed, and I'd very much recommend this one to everybody. I thought it was well-written and not too dry or academic, and the structure very much made intuitive sense. I wouldn't say this is a massive deep-dive, but I think this makes a great overview on Bisexuality and where we're at in present society/how we got there in terms of how it's viewed.

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I received a digital ARC of this title from NetGalley in exchange for an honest review.