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Eyes Wide Open: Avoiding the Heartbreak of Emotional Promiscuity
In our postmodern world, we are so driven by our emotions that in “living for the moment” we’ve forgotten to guard our most precious treasure—our hearts. Young people may not realize it, but acts that appear innocent—such as e-mail and instant messages—can entangle our emotions and lead the heart to places it should not go. Most people give their hearts away long before they give their bodies away, so it is imperative that young people learn the importance of emotional purity, how to avoid the steps that too often lead to a physical downfall and how to live pure lives. Like talking to a big sister who’s gone before them, reading Eyes Wide Open will give young people the necessary keys for making decisions about purity, love and romance. She also shows them how to acquire a thirst for purity as they realize it is not just another rule, but a path that leads to a dimension of deep and fresh living where they can truly thrive.
188 pages, Paperback
First published June 2, 2007
3 people are currently reading
63 people want to read
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Displaying 1 - 11 of 11 reviews
November 8, 2020
This book is a book on relationship and is centered on physical, spiritual and emotional purity during the phase of singlehood. It also contains true life stories full of lessons to learn. It basically talks about not falling for fairy tale relationship, understanding our feelings, setting boundaries in relationships, waiting for God's best and finding fulfilment in God.
The author begins by telling a story about her life and how she had an emotional entanglement as a teenager even after setting boundaries for purity but God later helped her escape it. The scripture proverbs 4:23 helped her overcome this.
"When we don't guard our hearts, it will be difficult to draw the line on emotional entanglement"
She makes it clear that unlike the movies, most relationships, including Christian romance/ relationships is not like a fairy tale.
Relationships involve more than romance. Agape love must be the driving force. Love for God and love for one another 1pet 1:22. We should start from the foundation of faith and build and birth the fruit of the Spirit : love, patience, endurance, gentleness.
There's a likelihood that when a brother starts treating a sister with love, honour and respect, she'll think he is interested in her but the key to debunking this mindset is to treat everyone (brothers and sisters) regardless of who or what they are in such manner so that you will get a well known reputation for doing that.
God's standards for purity are so high that lustful thoughts are considered as adultery in His sight ( ).
She explains that purity should be both inwardly(with thoughts and emotions) and outwardly. A person may not outrightly engage in premarital sex to dishonour his/her body but practices promiscuity by failing to guard his/her heart resulting in cycles of emotional entanglement and heartbreaks from various relationships(which may even be platonic)
Practicing sexual abstinence while engaging in premature emotional intimacy is not true purity.
We can acheive victory by having God's word in our hearts.
"Building a relationship on feelings no matter how exciting they are is a recipe for disaster"
It's important to chose faith over feelings which are involuntary responses to situations around us. Emotions are our reactions of these feelings which can be controlled. Eg lustful emotions, rage, etc
It is important to allow God to fill the void in your heart instead of trying to fill it with people that cant satisfy. There's also a story here about a young boy and girl(was abused by her father at a young age). They got into premarital sex and couldn't leave each other (even though they wanted to and were unhappy in the relationship) because they both craved for love and tried to fill the void by clinging onto themselves. The decision is up to you to either guard (lock) your heart and give the key to God to keep it for the right person or unlock it and leave it for anyone that stops by.
To live pure lives, we need to:
Know the bible, use lifelines and follow a strategy . We need to guard our souls which implies our thoughts and emotions. Guard our bodies which implies abstinence from sex (till marriage), masturbation, pornography, etc. The secret to finding balance in this is found in Matt 22:37-38
"When we fail to guard our hearts, we put our relationship with God at risk"
It is also important to set boundaries for every relationship including friendship. E.g
Do not carry out online chatting with the opposite sex beyond 10:00pm at night
Do not engage in excessive physical touch like prolonged hand holding, kissing, etc. Try as much as possible to avoid the pain of premature emotional intimacy
Be truly accountable to a mature same sex married christian(which may be a mentor or pastor).
It is also important to set standards ahead of time before going into any relationship that will lead to marriage. Write down the qualities you want your future spouse to possess. It will be important to look for someone with the qualities of Jesus.
It is important to guard our hearts on the internet, if you realise you are spending too much time on the internet eg chatting for many hours, checking your mail box many times in one day, anxiousness to use the computer, chatting with strangers... You may have to pause, rethink and guard your heart. Guarding your time and monitoring how you spend it. You can decide to take a fast from things you think are consumimg your time.
A person can escape emotional entanglement by having a heart that is totally yielded to God, developing relationships on integrity, Taking note of warning signs in the relationships, not being afraid to start His or her life over again (if any man be in Christ, he's a new creature...)
"By giving ourselves to God, His will can be perfected in us"
It also pays to wait for God's best. Sometimes this requires lots of prayers and patience
The statement “Do not stir up or awaken love until the appropriate time” is repeated over and over in the book of songs. Apart from knowing God's will, it is important to be surrendered to His timing.
As singles we also have to find our first love, grow deeper in love with Him, make a commitment to purity (some people wear a purity ring as a sign of this commitment). It's then up to a Christian single to live a life of no regrets even when He/ she eventually gets married.
In conclusion, i'll just put up a quote from the book which i feel summarizes it.
"True purity is more than sexual abstinence—it’s a commitment, a promise and a choice to guard your heart. Don’t let the words of Jesus apply to you: “You are like a whitewashed tomb, which looks beautiful on the outside but on the inside is full of dead men’s bones and everything unclean” (Matt. 23:27). True purity means being completely pure in your thoughts, actions, words and emotions."
I absolutely recommend it for every single person, every person in courtship, everyone confused about relationships and God's principles for purity before marriage.
The author begins by telling a story about her life and how she had an emotional entanglement as a teenager even after setting boundaries for purity but God later helped her escape it. The scripture proverbs 4:23 helped her overcome this.
"When we don't guard our hearts, it will be difficult to draw the line on emotional entanglement"
She makes it clear that unlike the movies, most relationships, including Christian romance/ relationships is not like a fairy tale.
Relationships involve more than romance. Agape love must be the driving force. Love for God and love for one another 1pet 1:22. We should start from the foundation of faith and build and birth the fruit of the Spirit : love, patience, endurance, gentleness.
There's a likelihood that when a brother starts treating a sister with love, honour and respect, she'll think he is interested in her but the key to debunking this mindset is to treat everyone (brothers and sisters) regardless of who or what they are in such manner so that you will get a well known reputation for doing that.
God's standards for purity are so high that lustful thoughts are considered as adultery in His sight ( ).
She explains that purity should be both inwardly(with thoughts and emotions) and outwardly. A person may not outrightly engage in premarital sex to dishonour his/her body but practices promiscuity by failing to guard his/her heart resulting in cycles of emotional entanglement and heartbreaks from various relationships(which may even be platonic)
Practicing sexual abstinence while engaging in premature emotional intimacy is not true purity.
We can acheive victory by having God's word in our hearts.
"Building a relationship on feelings no matter how exciting they are is a recipe for disaster"
It's important to chose faith over feelings which are involuntary responses to situations around us. Emotions are our reactions of these feelings which can be controlled. Eg lustful emotions, rage, etc
It is important to allow God to fill the void in your heart instead of trying to fill it with people that cant satisfy. There's also a story here about a young boy and girl(was abused by her father at a young age). They got into premarital sex and couldn't leave each other (even though they wanted to and were unhappy in the relationship) because they both craved for love and tried to fill the void by clinging onto themselves. The decision is up to you to either guard (lock) your heart and give the key to God to keep it for the right person or unlock it and leave it for anyone that stops by.
To live pure lives, we need to:
Know the bible, use lifelines and follow a strategy . We need to guard our souls which implies our thoughts and emotions. Guard our bodies which implies abstinence from sex (till marriage), masturbation, pornography, etc. The secret to finding balance in this is found in Matt 22:37-38
"When we fail to guard our hearts, we put our relationship with God at risk"
It is also important to set boundaries for every relationship including friendship. E.g
Do not carry out online chatting with the opposite sex beyond 10:00pm at night
Do not engage in excessive physical touch like prolonged hand holding, kissing, etc. Try as much as possible to avoid the pain of premature emotional intimacy
Be truly accountable to a mature same sex married christian(which may be a mentor or pastor).
It is also important to set standards ahead of time before going into any relationship that will lead to marriage. Write down the qualities you want your future spouse to possess. It will be important to look for someone with the qualities of Jesus.
It is important to guard our hearts on the internet, if you realise you are spending too much time on the internet eg chatting for many hours, checking your mail box many times in one day, anxiousness to use the computer, chatting with strangers... You may have to pause, rethink and guard your heart. Guarding your time and monitoring how you spend it. You can decide to take a fast from things you think are consumimg your time.
A person can escape emotional entanglement by having a heart that is totally yielded to God, developing relationships on integrity, Taking note of warning signs in the relationships, not being afraid to start His or her life over again (if any man be in Christ, he's a new creature...)
"By giving ourselves to God, His will can be perfected in us"
It also pays to wait for God's best. Sometimes this requires lots of prayers and patience
The statement “Do not stir up or awaken love until the appropriate time” is repeated over and over in the book of songs. Apart from knowing God's will, it is important to be surrendered to His timing.
As singles we also have to find our first love, grow deeper in love with Him, make a commitment to purity (some people wear a purity ring as a sign of this commitment). It's then up to a Christian single to live a life of no regrets even when He/ she eventually gets married.
In conclusion, i'll just put up a quote from the book which i feel summarizes it.
"True purity is more than sexual abstinence—it’s a commitment, a promise and a choice to guard your heart. Don’t let the words of Jesus apply to you: “You are like a whitewashed tomb, which looks beautiful on the outside but on the inside is full of dead men’s bones and everything unclean” (Matt. 23:27). True purity means being completely pure in your thoughts, actions, words and emotions."
I absolutely recommend it for every single person, every person in courtship, everyone confused about relationships and God's principles for purity before marriage.
May 25, 2019
The information of the book was ok. If you want to read what another christian girl thinks about dating, emotions and how she was able to win the heart battles, go ahead! Some of the the thoughts are okay, nothing new though.. The author is still not married by the way.
March 9, 2021
[spiritual book] how to live life in a Christian way
January 18, 2023
Best Book Ever
Love this book definitely recommended reading it very insightful on important issues in girls life's today. 10 out of 10.
Love this book definitely recommended reading it very insightful on important issues in girls life's today. 10 out of 10.
August 12, 2011
Avoiding the Heartbreak of Emotional Promiscuity....
What a timely book. There are so many resources out there about sexual promiscuity and abstinence. This book however, addresses the meaning behind the verse about guarding your heart.
With all the advances in technology the scene of dating has drastically changed over the past few years. Almost every teen carries a phone with texting and internet capabilities. Most have their own membership to a social networking environment such as Facebook, MySpace or Twitter. This creates a secret and separate world that parents are often not involved in. In this environment of not seeing people face to face teens feel more at ease to share with others in more open ways than they would do otherwise.
This book deals heavily with a person's thought life and what the bible says about this subject. I think that it is sad to admit that we prepare our children for physical interaction. Making sure we talk about sexual purity and protecting ones self this way. However, we neglect to talk to our children about emotional purity. Meaning we don't teach them that getting emotionally involved is just as dangerous as physically.
The danger being that the heart is being given away a piece at a time to whomever they are investing their emotions into. What a sad problem, and so incredibly dangerous.
If you want to protect your teen so that when they marry their spouse gets their entire heart, pure and whole - this is the book for you!!!
I will be sharing this with my daughters, and my sons. I want them to walk down the aisle one day emotionally and physically pure - with the heart intact. I want them to be able to present to their spouse a perfect gift of undivided love and innocence. I think in today's society innocence has been given a bad name.
"Even if we aren't having sex, endless cycles of dating and breaking up are...promiscuous. We are casually and indiscriminately giving away our hearts, one piece at a time"
Thank you Regal for this review copy! I have so enjoyed it!
What a timely book. There are so many resources out there about sexual promiscuity and abstinence. This book however, addresses the meaning behind the verse about guarding your heart.
With all the advances in technology the scene of dating has drastically changed over the past few years. Almost every teen carries a phone with texting and internet capabilities. Most have their own membership to a social networking environment such as Facebook, MySpace or Twitter. This creates a secret and separate world that parents are often not involved in. In this environment of not seeing people face to face teens feel more at ease to share with others in more open ways than they would do otherwise.
This book deals heavily with a person's thought life and what the bible says about this subject. I think that it is sad to admit that we prepare our children for physical interaction. Making sure we talk about sexual purity and protecting ones self this way. However, we neglect to talk to our children about emotional purity. Meaning we don't teach them that getting emotionally involved is just as dangerous as physically.
The danger being that the heart is being given away a piece at a time to whomever they are investing their emotions into. What a sad problem, and so incredibly dangerous.
If you want to protect your teen so that when they marry their spouse gets their entire heart, pure and whole - this is the book for you!!!
I will be sharing this with my daughters, and my sons. I want them to walk down the aisle one day emotionally and physically pure - with the heart intact. I want them to be able to present to their spouse a perfect gift of undivided love and innocence. I think in today's society innocence has been given a bad name.
"Even if we aren't having sex, endless cycles of dating and breaking up are...promiscuous. We are casually and indiscriminately giving away our hearts, one piece at a time"
Thank you Regal for this review copy! I have so enjoyed it!
September 12, 2016
Creo que el titulo le queda como anillo al dedo. Cuando me lo regalaron, pensé que seria aburrido, porque el cover no me era muy atractivo. Cuando me anime a leerlo creo que literalmente se abrieron is ojos a las cosas que normalmente en la Iglesia no hablamos. Este libro es para toda persona que quiera aprender a guardar su corazón ante las pasiones juveniles, tomar buenas decisiones con respecto a elegir pareja, y enamorarse pero con los pies en la tierra. Definitivamente uno de los libros que me ha ayudado a tener convicciones sanas y estar firmes en ellas. Recomendado, me lo leería una y otra vez.
May 20, 2011
Excellent book for girls and women of all ages. Brienne lays out some very important truths about what emotional promiscuity is and how we are to avoid it. Very easy to read, very good content, I highly recommend this book.
October 3, 2014
A truly necessary book. I have read many Christian relationship books, but not ONE has discussed how to guard one's heart. Emotional promiscuity is a huge issue, and Miss Murk does a nice job of dealing with these topics!
March 20, 2020
Its a book that targets the root of sexual promiscuity: Emotional promiscuity. It teaches how to guard our hearts and live emotionally pure lives while seeking Jesus first. Indeed it was a great read. Can't wait to get the hard copy!
March 3, 2008
This book has been missing from the shelves of Christians for too long. A must read for anyone seriously anticipating a life long relationship.
May 8, 2011
Nothing I haven't heard many times before.
Displaying 1 - 11 of 11 reviews