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My Lesbian Experience with Loneliness #5
Solitude d'une guerrière errante
Parlons peu, parlons bien : moi, une dessinatrice mentalement instable dans la trentaine, qui n’a eu d’expérience sexuelle qu’avec une travailleuse du sexe, et n’a jamais eu de relation amoureuse, je vais ici vous parler de mes tribulations mentales tandis que je poursuis mon désir de me marier, d’aimer et être aimée ! Sacré programme !
144 pages, Paperback
First published February 17, 2021
29 people are currently reading
2456 people want to read
About the author
Kabi Nagata
9 books1,486 followersNagata Kabi is a Japanese manga artist best known for My Lesbian Experience with Loneliness. Nagata has been drawing for as long as she can remember.
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Displaying 1 - 30 of 248 reviews
May 29, 2022
Nagata Kabi’s latest is another autobiographical manga, this time about love and dating and gender and suchlike. You’d think the author of a book called “My Lesbian Experience with Loneliness” would have figured out her sexuality by now but apparently not.
There isn’t much to My Wandering Warrior Existence. She goes to a friend’s wedding and decides she wants to wear a wedding dress and pose for photos so she does. Then she tries a dating app. That’s about it for stuff that happens.
She seems to have had a really sheltered life. It’s actually news to her that two people could genuinely fall in love with each other and that this is the basis of a number of weddings and lifelong partnerships. “Love is real” - who knew that could blow any adult’s mind?
She talks about her trust issues being at the root of why she’s so inexperienced with relationships, originating with a sexual assault when she was 6, which is understandable. But, I’m sorry, it’s so not interesting to read about someone figuring out how relationships work. She literally explains that people spending time with each other can learn about each other and, over time, develop feelings of affection for one another that can be called “love”.
I get that she’s shockingly ignorant when it comes to social interaction, and it’s brave of her to admit that, but - and I’m going out on a limb to say this will apply to most readers of this book - her audience definitely isn’t, and reading about the differences between romantic love and friendship love is only going to put them to sleep because this is absurdly obvious stuff most people figure out when they’re children!
She also discovers (thankfully before she has any) that having kids doesn’t necessarily solve all family problems automatically, which, again, duh, but to her, of course, was a lightbulb moment. I think she’s in her 30s.
Nagata Kabi is a decent mangaka but My Wandering Warrior Existence was a terribly tedious read. It was just watching the profoundly insecure author chase her neuroses round and round for an entire book. Oof, not good. Her previous book, My Alcoholic Escape from Reality, is definitely better, though I wouldn’t call it a must-read, but I can’t recommend her latest to anyone.
There isn’t much to My Wandering Warrior Existence. She goes to a friend’s wedding and decides she wants to wear a wedding dress and pose for photos so she does. Then she tries a dating app. That’s about it for stuff that happens.
She seems to have had a really sheltered life. It’s actually news to her that two people could genuinely fall in love with each other and that this is the basis of a number of weddings and lifelong partnerships. “Love is real” - who knew that could blow any adult’s mind?
She talks about her trust issues being at the root of why she’s so inexperienced with relationships, originating with a sexual assault when she was 6, which is understandable. But, I’m sorry, it’s so not interesting to read about someone figuring out how relationships work. She literally explains that people spending time with each other can learn about each other and, over time, develop feelings of affection for one another that can be called “love”.
I get that she’s shockingly ignorant when it comes to social interaction, and it’s brave of her to admit that, but - and I’m going out on a limb to say this will apply to most readers of this book - her audience definitely isn’t, and reading about the differences between romantic love and friendship love is only going to put them to sleep because this is absurdly obvious stuff most people figure out when they’re children!
She also discovers (thankfully before she has any) that having kids doesn’t necessarily solve all family problems automatically, which, again, duh, but to her, of course, was a lightbulb moment. I think she’s in her 30s.
Nagata Kabi is a decent mangaka but My Wandering Warrior Existence was a terribly tedious read. It was just watching the profoundly insecure author chase her neuroses round and round for an entire book. Oof, not good. Her previous book, My Alcoholic Escape from Reality, is definitely better, though I wouldn’t call it a must-read, but I can’t recommend her latest to anyone.
April 20, 2022
I'll be mulling this one over but I do think it's time for me to stop having certain expectations with Kabi Nagata's work. while sexuality and gender identity are touched on in this collection, it's largely focused on the broad idea of loving, healthy relationships and how one can enter that kind of relationship themselves. I think this will connect with a certain group of people, and while I do like the insight Kabi Nagata always brings in her work, ultimately this felt like a topic being spread far too thin to force it into a full-length manga. Nagata even admits at the end that 8 more pages were required for publishing and so an extra story is thrown in that doesn't relate to the main theme of the work at all.
topics were brought up that could have been interesting: her parent's arranged marriage and how this made Nagata grow up without a loving relationship emulated for her, the fact that men see a woman committing an act of vicious self-loathing and view her as "easy prey" for dating/marriage, the idea that the visual optics of a wedding often become more important than the act of the marriage itself; all of these could have been explored but instead were only mentioned and then dropped. instead, we get a chapter where Nagata quotes a fan that sent her an email that includes the line "mutual love at first sight is when both people's genes instinctively seek each other out to produce superior offspring". yeah. that pseudo-science eugenics-tinged BS is dropped in there as if it's solid fact and not examined in any way.
the timeline is also a little confusing. I think parts of this were being written before My Alcoholic Escape from Reality? alcoholism is mentioned with no indication of sobriety. because of this, it felt like Nagata had taken a huge step back in terms of mental health recovery. while she has never held back on the gory details of her mental health crises, by the 5th volume of her work it almost feels like an exercise in self-flagellation (I originally thought this was her 4th published work, and realizing it was her 5th and that we're still stuck in this extreme act of navel-gazing makes me even more tired). the section where she describes how she wrote the most awful things about herself on her dating profile to try and scare away prospective suitors made me quite sad. I question the decision of publishing this after My Alcoholic Escape from Reality and feel like it could have been given more time and more chapters to be worth the cover price.
also, as a lesbian, I resent the idea Nagata proposes that humans naturally "seek out" and "extract from" women. it reminds me too much of the things I was told when I first expressed interest in women at a young age; "the female form is naturally more appealing" "all women appreciate other women's beauty, you're just confusing that for sexual/romantic interest". we live in a patriarchal society which means men are positioned as the ideal and women who are not interested in men are often derided and questioned for their lack of interest in men. it's just such a weird take to act like women seeking out other women for romantic and sexual comfort is normalized in our societies.
topics were brought up that could have been interesting: her parent's arranged marriage and how this made Nagata grow up without a loving relationship emulated for her, the fact that men see a woman committing an act of vicious self-loathing and view her as "easy prey" for dating/marriage, the idea that the visual optics of a wedding often become more important than the act of the marriage itself; all of these could have been explored but instead were only mentioned and then dropped. instead, we get a chapter where Nagata quotes a fan that sent her an email that includes the line "mutual love at first sight is when both people's genes instinctively seek each other out to produce superior offspring". yeah. that pseudo-science eugenics-tinged BS is dropped in there as if it's solid fact and not examined in any way.
the timeline is also a little confusing. I think parts of this were being written before My Alcoholic Escape from Reality? alcoholism is mentioned with no indication of sobriety. because of this, it felt like Nagata had taken a huge step back in terms of mental health recovery. while she has never held back on the gory details of her mental health crises, by the 5th volume of her work it almost feels like an exercise in self-flagellation (I originally thought this was her 4th published work, and realizing it was her 5th and that we're still stuck in this extreme act of navel-gazing makes me even more tired). the section where she describes how she wrote the most awful things about herself on her dating profile to try and scare away prospective suitors made me quite sad. I question the decision of publishing this after My Alcoholic Escape from Reality and feel like it could have been given more time and more chapters to be worth the cover price.
also, as a lesbian, I resent the idea Nagata proposes that humans naturally "seek out" and "extract from" women. it reminds me too much of the things I was told when I first expressed interest in women at a young age; "the female form is naturally more appealing" "all women appreciate other women's beauty, you're just confusing that for sexual/romantic interest". we live in a patriarchal society which means men are positioned as the ideal and women who are not interested in men are often derided and questioned for their lack of interest in men. it's just such a weird take to act like women seeking out other women for romantic and sexual comfort is normalized in our societies.
July 6, 2022
This is my fourth of five autobiographical manga I have read by Kabi Nagata. As with some other autobiographical or memoir comics artists, she seems to be--book after book--chronicling her life, as it goes, book after book. I think of three people immediately to compare this work to: Lucy Knisley, Michael Rabagliati, and Keiler Roberts, though there are many more. This series stands out in that the work is easily the most intense, the most explicitly troubled. Not without occasional self-deprecating humor--she knows she is unlike most people--Nagata is ruthlessly honest about her various life struggles.
This book is less a tale of events than an essay about the search for love. One event does get narrated, a sexual assault that occurred when she was eight, and this stands out, but almost nothing else really happens except a remarkable focus on her identity in various nodes. The "triggering" event for Nagata is attending--for the first time!--a friend's wedding, and wondering why she can't have that, too, this love thang. She had doubted it really existed, sent a query out to her internet followers, who confirmed that yes, indeed, love is possible.
So, for starters, Kabata arranges, with the support of her parents, to be professionally photographed in an elaborate ballroom-stye wedding dress, a bizarre event that not surprisingly leaves her sad. Why do that?! But the point is one Nagata has not thought about before Why can't I have love?! The dress for many symbolizes love, but she begins with the dress!
So she decides to try a dating site to find someone, but is honest:
"I'm mentally ill and currently in treatment for depression, developmental disorders, and eating disorders. I'm often mistaken for a man because of how I look. I'm basically a total shut-in, and I've never dated anyone. To be honest, I'm high-maintenance."
Of course she gets a lot of "likes" and finds, with the help of her friends, that she is being seen as easy to "get." What to do? How can one meet someone one might fall in love with? This seems like a cute question for someone who is ten, but Nagata is in her thirties. Feels anguished, of course, though we know she is not alone to be lonely in her thirties, or at any time.
Nagata seems fascinatingly stuck in her adolescence, not sure what her gender and sexual identities really are (though she has written about her experiences with lesbian escorts. . . she says that while she does find female bodies attractive, she also finds women just less scary to deal with). Actually \, very few of her identity characteristics are known to her except maybe daughter, friend and mangaka. In Japan she is something of an internet sensation, laying out her story regularly online. I have to go back and read her book about her alcohol-induced pancreatitis, oh boy.
So why I am I reading this? Because I have something like 350 graphic memoir comics on my Goodreads shelves. But she is very good at what she does, is clear and articulate and honest. She does not blame her poor parents, who as they age have to try and support their mystifying daughter who is a kind of train wreck and also an international internet sensation for documenting all of her struggles. Do I say "bravely"? I don't think I can say that, exactly, as she has very little sense of how the world works or how people work. But she is exploring what she needs to be happy, the nature of love.
One key thing she is working on that she realizes in her thirties, finally, is that she can't fully love someone else unless she loves herself. And has never done that. This seems both 1) late to see this as necessary and 2) again, probably pretty common! So Nagata is just exploring universal human truths, while lost, but still trying. I think a lot of people find her relatable. I know I'll keep reading her!
This book is less a tale of events than an essay about the search for love. One event does get narrated, a sexual assault that occurred when she was eight, and this stands out, but almost nothing else really happens except a remarkable focus on her identity in various nodes. The "triggering" event for Nagata is attending--for the first time!--a friend's wedding, and wondering why she can't have that, too, this love thang. She had doubted it really existed, sent a query out to her internet followers, who confirmed that yes, indeed, love is possible.
So, for starters, Kabata arranges, with the support of her parents, to be professionally photographed in an elaborate ballroom-stye wedding dress, a bizarre event that not surprisingly leaves her sad. Why do that?! But the point is one Nagata has not thought about before Why can't I have love?! The dress for many symbolizes love, but she begins with the dress!
So she decides to try a dating site to find someone, but is honest:
"I'm mentally ill and currently in treatment for depression, developmental disorders, and eating disorders. I'm often mistaken for a man because of how I look. I'm basically a total shut-in, and I've never dated anyone. To be honest, I'm high-maintenance."
Of course she gets a lot of "likes" and finds, with the help of her friends, that she is being seen as easy to "get." What to do? How can one meet someone one might fall in love with? This seems like a cute question for someone who is ten, but Nagata is in her thirties. Feels anguished, of course, though we know she is not alone to be lonely in her thirties, or at any time.
Nagata seems fascinatingly stuck in her adolescence, not sure what her gender and sexual identities really are (though she has written about her experiences with lesbian escorts. . . she says that while she does find female bodies attractive, she also finds women just less scary to deal with). Actually \, very few of her identity characteristics are known to her except maybe daughter, friend and mangaka. In Japan she is something of an internet sensation, laying out her story regularly online. I have to go back and read her book about her alcohol-induced pancreatitis, oh boy.
So why I am I reading this? Because I have something like 350 graphic memoir comics on my Goodreads shelves. But she is very good at what she does, is clear and articulate and honest. She does not blame her poor parents, who as they age have to try and support their mystifying daughter who is a kind of train wreck and also an international internet sensation for documenting all of her struggles. Do I say "bravely"? I don't think I can say that, exactly, as she has very little sense of how the world works or how people work. But she is exploring what she needs to be happy, the nature of love.
One key thing she is working on that she realizes in her thirties, finally, is that she can't fully love someone else unless she loves herself. And has never done that. This seems both 1) late to see this as necessary and 2) again, probably pretty common! So Nagata is just exploring universal human truths, while lost, but still trying. I think a lot of people find her relatable. I know I'll keep reading her!
March 30, 2022
More like 2.5. I receive the newsletter for the publisher that puts these books out and immediately bought this. *sigh*
As I was reading, I immediately regretted my decision and wondered if I should've tried a sample first. Although I had greatly enjoyed her first manga, and mostly enjoyed its sequel - I had to DNF her recent book about her drinking problem that caused her to get pancreatitis. I just couldnt find it engaging and there was nothing there for me to latch onto.
This new autobiographical manga is similar in that it is literally a stream of consciousness with no depth. The author muses briefly about her gender identity, and how wedding gowns are gendered. This fly by approach is also taken in regards to her sexual orientation, and if she wants to have grandkids (and wondering if her parents might want grandkids).
Because her parents had an arranged marriage (a subject not explored at all), she doesnt seem to understand that people can learn to love each other over time? And she seems confused about how romantic love works? (I thought there might be something here about being aromantic but this literally never comes up. Which is fine, since these are American concepts and even with the internet, it's not clear what people in other parts of the world know or what language they use to describe gender and sexual orientations in their own culture).
I guess for me the entire manga felt disjointed and shallow. Maybe she could've included some research she did on the various topics she was thinking about, people she spoke to, or even revealed any insights she had had while in therapy. Anything substantive!
I was kind of surprised to see so many people rate this manga so highly. It's nowhere near as good as her debut, and even if you're unfamiliar with her work, I dont see how this volume would make you want to read anything else she's written.
You would be better off skipping this one.
As I was reading, I immediately regretted my decision and wondered if I should've tried a sample first. Although I had greatly enjoyed her first manga, and mostly enjoyed its sequel - I had to DNF her recent book about her drinking problem that caused her to get pancreatitis. I just couldnt find it engaging and there was nothing there for me to latch onto.
This new autobiographical manga is similar in that it is literally a stream of consciousness with no depth. The author muses briefly about her gender identity, and how wedding gowns are gendered. This fly by approach is also taken in regards to her sexual orientation, and if she wants to have grandkids (and wondering if her parents might want grandkids).
Because her parents had an arranged marriage (a subject not explored at all), she doesnt seem to understand that people can learn to love each other over time? And she seems confused about how romantic love works? (I thought there might be something here about being aromantic but this literally never comes up. Which is fine, since these are American concepts and even with the internet, it's not clear what people in other parts of the world know or what language they use to describe gender and sexual orientations in their own culture).
I guess for me the entire manga felt disjointed and shallow. Maybe she could've included some research she did on the various topics she was thinking about, people she spoke to, or even revealed any insights she had had while in therapy. Anything substantive!
I was kind of surprised to see so many people rate this manga so highly. It's nowhere near as good as her debut, and even if you're unfamiliar with her work, I dont see how this volume would make you want to read anything else she's written.
You would be better off skipping this one.
April 2, 2022
Five books in and the thirtysomething author remains firmly stuck in questioning limbo on matters of identity, gender identity, sexual identity, and relationships both romantic and familial. There's an interesting chapter that explains that gown on the cover, but then the rest just bogs down with muddling and whining and fidgeting. This volume is as fascinating and frustrating as all the previous ones, guaranteeing that I'll pick up the next one if it appears.
Trigger warning: A horrifying sexual assault and its appalling aftermath is recounted.
Trigger warning: A horrifying sexual assault and its appalling aftermath is recounted.
March 27, 2022
I know I said this before, but I genuinely always hope --since her books end on a hopeful note-- that Nagata is getting the care she needs and then her next book comes along and it's just like, "hey, guys, nothing's going well." It's depressing, but I am rooting for her SO hard.
April 6, 2022
This woman is an extremely relatable wreck. I enjoyed this one a lot less than her other works - it's a scattershot collection of thoughts, less of a deep dive than previous volumes in the series. Still pretty good, funny in parts, but overall shallow and rushed.
May 18, 2023
don’t have much to say about this one. it was alright. i just wanted to point out the part where she talks about people being inherently “woman seeking” because of the “female form” and how people can transition away from being “woman seeking” felt extremely uncomfortable and a tad bit homophobic? maybe it’s just cultural differences surrounding descriptions of sexuality but idk. it’s odd. it feels like how Freud might talk about sexuality lmao.
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August 5, 2022I see a lot of people say that it seems rushed or bounces around too many topics and as an adhd person, I can totally see her adhd at work in this novel. I don’t think that’s a bad thing and it hurts to see so many people hate on a work where she shows herself improving (starting to branch out to different hobbies) and talking about small happinesses like her fridge and ukulele. The way she sees her thoughts and life are so similar to me. It’s like looking at my future self, too.
May 20, 2023
A reviewer I follow had a hard time believing Nagata’s ‘shelteredness’ or lack of understanding about loving relationships, but it was believable to me, although it did make me wonder if she was perhaps also neuro-diverse as it reminded me of conversations I’ve had with people with autism. I had to explain to a man who already had two sons that him having more kids would not lessen the love he had for his first born sons; love is an infinite resource I told him, but I understand the time and money are not.
She also talked about being molested in this volume — she kindly gave a content warning— has established other trauma/mental illness in this an her previous volumes, and talks about a lack of viewing healthy loving relationships due to her parents’ arranged marriage.
I think this volume had a strong start with her sharing about the wedding for one photo shoot.
Some parts were a little repetitive or was an odd transition or two, might go back and reread some portions.
She also talked about being molested in this volume — she kindly gave a content warning— has established other trauma/mental illness in this an her previous volumes, and talks about a lack of viewing healthy loving relationships due to her parents’ arranged marriage.
I think this volume had a strong start with her sharing about the wedding for one photo shoot.
Some parts were a little repetitive or was an odd transition or two, might go back and reread some portions.
March 29, 2022
Like a rambly, messy conversation with a rambly, messy friend. The section about her attempts to craft the most self-deprecating dating profile possible so as to avoid disappointing people at in-person meetings was hilarious and relatable. I like Nagata Kabi a lot and wish good things for her; I also kind of wish that I could be her friend, but as that will never happen, I'll just read any autobiographical manga she publishes to see how she's been faring.
August 29, 2024
3.75⭐️? Ratings are hard.
A short addition to this memoir series. In this one, she discusses how she came to understand more about romance and broke down how some of society's assumptions and prioritizing of romance was impacting her. This was interesting, but could have been developed more I think. It was a good read overall though and I enjoy seeing how the author and her style develops over the course of this memoir series.
A short addition to this memoir series. In this one, she discusses how she came to understand more about romance and broke down how some of society's assumptions and prioritizing of romance was impacting her. This was interesting, but could have been developed more I think. It was a good read overall though and I enjoy seeing how the author and her style develops over the course of this memoir series.
January 2, 2023
At this point I'm just begging for this author to go to therapy and get the help she so desperately needs.
June 7, 2022
This is the newest entry in the series of autobiographical mangas that started with the cult hit 'My Lesbian Experience with Loneliness' and that followed with 'My Solo Exchange Diary Vol. 1', 'My Solo Exchange Diary Vol. 2' and 'My Alcoholic Escape from Reality' (the links go to my reviews of those titles).
I’ve been fond of the author ever since I read her first autobiographical manga, and not only because her stuff is like witnessing a colossal train wreck; she’s fearlessly honest about her brokenness to an extent that you don’t see in virtually anyone else.
In the previous entry, Kabi Nagata opened up about having caused herself acute pancreatitis due to imbibing in three years the amount of alcohol that seasoned boozers rarely achieve in twenty. She almost died, and she’ll be forced to take medication for the rest of her life. I was eager to figure out how she recovered mentally from that self-inflicted ordeal, but in this newest entry she speaks casually about her liberal alcoholic intake and mentions that she moved out to her own apartment. I realized, to my disappointment slash dismay, that the events depicted on this entry are precursory to her alcoholic debacle. She was likely working on this manga when she was forced to sidetrack it to suffer through that personal catastrophe. That’s fucking sad; the previous entry ended with her waking up from a prolonged nightmare to find herself as a mentally and physically broken woman in her mid-to-late thirties that nobody wants to or can love.
Anyway, this newest manga starts with Kabi wanting to do a photoshoot of herself wearing a wedding dress; she’s aware that she’ll likely never marry, and her mother had expressed a desire to see her in a wedding dress, so that’s what she does. During the shoot, though, Kabi grows increasingly depressed as she realizes how sad the whole thing (and her life) has become, although her mother is loving it; she’s taking photos of her own with her personal camera.
Afterwards, Kabi decides to embark on a personal quest to find someone who might love her. We realize (or remember; she probably exhibited this in previous entries), through her fumbling attempts at using a dating website, how terribly inept she’s at dealing with technology, which has furthered her isolation. She speaks at length about her confusion regarding love, even understanding what it’s supposed to be; her parents are together because of an arranged marriage that involved no love at all, and they behaved, for the most part, just dutifully towards their only daughter. Kabi was a withdrawn, fearful, friendless child. I think that she was in her late twenties when she finally decided to experience some close contact with another human being by hiring the services of a prostitute. In fact, she has only been intimate with prostitutes (maybe only that first one, I don’t remember) to this day.
Kabi goes at length about her fears and confusion regarding the process of finding a date, but never ventures beyond creating a profile on a dating website. In the most memorable chapter of this manga, she writes a self-deprecating bio, opening up about her mental issues and her inability to live by herself, because “that way whoever tries to date me won’t be disappointed once they get to know me.” When she receives some likes and personal messages, Kabi is appalled. Who could be so crazy as to want to engage with her despite how much of a broken mess her bio reveals her to be? She considers that maybe she should improve the honesty of her presentation. She turns her bio into a parade of self-disdain, painting herself as the most horrid, incompetent human to ever exist (which she pretty much believes herself to be). She says that she's distrustful of anyone who seems to like her, because she doesn't believe such a thing could be possible, so those people must be trying to take advantage of her. She still gets likes and personal messages that she never dares to check out. Eventually she removes her profile and drops her quest. Later on she figures out that those that contacted her were the types that thought, “she’s so horrible that I may have a chance!” so she was better off avoiding them anyway.
She spends the rest of this manga wondering how come she’s so broken, why she fears human beings to such an extent, even those she’s come to know reasonably well, and why she’s unable to understand other people’s motives. She opens up about her issues regarding gender identity: she doesn’t like being a woman (“I don’t like breasts, bras or periods, and I wear men’s underwear”), but she doesn’t want to be a man. She admits that she isn’t even sure if she’s a lesbian (to be fair, despite the title of her first autobiographical manga, ‘My Lesbian Experience with Loneliness’, her being a lesbian was incidental there); she considers that maybe she chose to visit lesbian prostitutes because she’s more comfortable among women, but that it may not speak much about her sexual preferences.
She opens up about a sexual assault back when she was a child; the first time she mentions it. A guy in his twenties approached her kid self, led her to a deserted hallway and fondled her genitals. It traumatized her, and she became more fearful of human beings (but she mentions that she also came to consider herself an idiot for following this stranger). However, she seemed even more distraught at the consequences: when she opened up to her mother about the assault, she contacted the school, which made a point of informing pretty much everybody. A teacher chastised Kabi for following a stranger. Other children whispered about Kabi as “the girl who was assaulted by a pervert.” Kabi wishes she had kept it to herself.
She quickly dismisses that sexual assault, though, as the source of her issues; she has known other women who were sexually assaulted, even much worse, but they grew up into happy adults who got married and had children. So how come she’s so fucked up?
An inability to understand herself and others properly, gender issues, sexual issues, fear of humans, only comfortable in solitude, sensory issues (she mentions how one of the main reasons to leave her parents’ apartment, apart from the depressive, loveless atmosphere, was that their voices sounded shrill), plenty of executive dysfunction (she can’t organize her own life for shit). Bitch, you are clearly autistic. Or maybe I’m delusional.
She renders the letter that some nice stranger wrote to her regarding love, and she comes to understand that years ago, when a fan who had realized she herself was a lesbian approached Kabi wishing to date her (Kabi found her nice, but didn’t feel a spark), the author may have fucked up turning her away, because if they had come to spend more time together, it may have turned into a proper, loving relationship. But by the end of the manga, Kabi admits that she’s quite comfortable alone, so maybe she’s just envious of loving couples, and sad that she may never know the love that most other human beings seem entitled to experience.
I enjoyed this newest entry of Kabi’s descent into madness, that unfortunately will likely end in her death through self-neglect or suicide, but it left a worse taste in my mouth than usual; I know that not only Kabi gave up on her quest to find love, but she fell deeper and deeper into alcoholism to the extent that she nearly died, and the last we know of her is that she wishes she would disappear, because she’s sick of being a mentally and now physically broken creature who feels like she has no place in this world.
I’ve been fond of the author ever since I read her first autobiographical manga, and not only because her stuff is like witnessing a colossal train wreck; she’s fearlessly honest about her brokenness to an extent that you don’t see in virtually anyone else.
In the previous entry, Kabi Nagata opened up about having caused herself acute pancreatitis due to imbibing in three years the amount of alcohol that seasoned boozers rarely achieve in twenty. She almost died, and she’ll be forced to take medication for the rest of her life. I was eager to figure out how she recovered mentally from that self-inflicted ordeal, but in this newest entry she speaks casually about her liberal alcoholic intake and mentions that she moved out to her own apartment. I realized, to my disappointment slash dismay, that the events depicted on this entry are precursory to her alcoholic debacle. She was likely working on this manga when she was forced to sidetrack it to suffer through that personal catastrophe. That’s fucking sad; the previous entry ended with her waking up from a prolonged nightmare to find herself as a mentally and physically broken woman in her mid-to-late thirties that nobody wants to or can love.
Anyway, this newest manga starts with Kabi wanting to do a photoshoot of herself wearing a wedding dress; she’s aware that she’ll likely never marry, and her mother had expressed a desire to see her in a wedding dress, so that’s what she does. During the shoot, though, Kabi grows increasingly depressed as she realizes how sad the whole thing (and her life) has become, although her mother is loving it; she’s taking photos of her own with her personal camera.
Afterwards, Kabi decides to embark on a personal quest to find someone who might love her. We realize (or remember; she probably exhibited this in previous entries), through her fumbling attempts at using a dating website, how terribly inept she’s at dealing with technology, which has furthered her isolation. She speaks at length about her confusion regarding love, even understanding what it’s supposed to be; her parents are together because of an arranged marriage that involved no love at all, and they behaved, for the most part, just dutifully towards their only daughter. Kabi was a withdrawn, fearful, friendless child. I think that she was in her late twenties when she finally decided to experience some close contact with another human being by hiring the services of a prostitute. In fact, she has only been intimate with prostitutes (maybe only that first one, I don’t remember) to this day.
Kabi goes at length about her fears and confusion regarding the process of finding a date, but never ventures beyond creating a profile on a dating website. In the most memorable chapter of this manga, she writes a self-deprecating bio, opening up about her mental issues and her inability to live by herself, because “that way whoever tries to date me won’t be disappointed once they get to know me.” When she receives some likes and personal messages, Kabi is appalled. Who could be so crazy as to want to engage with her despite how much of a broken mess her bio reveals her to be? She considers that maybe she should improve the honesty of her presentation. She turns her bio into a parade of self-disdain, painting herself as the most horrid, incompetent human to ever exist (which she pretty much believes herself to be). She says that she's distrustful of anyone who seems to like her, because she doesn't believe such a thing could be possible, so those people must be trying to take advantage of her. She still gets likes and personal messages that she never dares to check out. Eventually she removes her profile and drops her quest. Later on she figures out that those that contacted her were the types that thought, “she’s so horrible that I may have a chance!” so she was better off avoiding them anyway.
She spends the rest of this manga wondering how come she’s so broken, why she fears human beings to such an extent, even those she’s come to know reasonably well, and why she’s unable to understand other people’s motives. She opens up about her issues regarding gender identity: she doesn’t like being a woman (“I don’t like breasts, bras or periods, and I wear men’s underwear”), but she doesn’t want to be a man. She admits that she isn’t even sure if she’s a lesbian (to be fair, despite the title of her first autobiographical manga, ‘My Lesbian Experience with Loneliness’, her being a lesbian was incidental there); she considers that maybe she chose to visit lesbian prostitutes because she’s more comfortable among women, but that it may not speak much about her sexual preferences.
She opens up about a sexual assault back when she was a child; the first time she mentions it. A guy in his twenties approached her kid self, led her to a deserted hallway and fondled her genitals. It traumatized her, and she became more fearful of human beings (but she mentions that she also came to consider herself an idiot for following this stranger). However, she seemed even more distraught at the consequences: when she opened up to her mother about the assault, she contacted the school, which made a point of informing pretty much everybody. A teacher chastised Kabi for following a stranger. Other children whispered about Kabi as “the girl who was assaulted by a pervert.” Kabi wishes she had kept it to herself.
She quickly dismisses that sexual assault, though, as the source of her issues; she has known other women who were sexually assaulted, even much worse, but they grew up into happy adults who got married and had children. So how come she’s so fucked up?
An inability to understand herself and others properly, gender issues, sexual issues, fear of humans, only comfortable in solitude, sensory issues (she mentions how one of the main reasons to leave her parents’ apartment, apart from the depressive, loveless atmosphere, was that their voices sounded shrill), plenty of executive dysfunction (she can’t organize her own life for shit). Bitch, you are clearly autistic. Or maybe I’m delusional.
She renders the letter that some nice stranger wrote to her regarding love, and she comes to understand that years ago, when a fan who had realized she herself was a lesbian approached Kabi wishing to date her (Kabi found her nice, but didn’t feel a spark), the author may have fucked up turning her away, because if they had come to spend more time together, it may have turned into a proper, loving relationship. But by the end of the manga, Kabi admits that she’s quite comfortable alone, so maybe she’s just envious of loving couples, and sad that she may never know the love that most other human beings seem entitled to experience.
I enjoyed this newest entry of Kabi’s descent into madness, that unfortunately will likely end in her death through self-neglect or suicide, but it left a worse taste in my mouth than usual; I know that not only Kabi gave up on her quest to find love, but she fell deeper and deeper into alcoholism to the extent that she nearly died, and the last we know of her is that she wishes she would disappear, because she’s sick of being a mentally and now physically broken creature who feels like she has no place in this world.
April 26, 2022
Très déçu de ce manga par Kabi Nagata alors que j'ai vraiment adoré les précédents livres de la même mangaka. L'aspect autofictionnel semble uniquement être au service de questions que l'autre/narratrice se pose sur l'amour, les relations, le genre, l'orientation sexuelle, etc., mais les réflexions sont tellement de base par rapport à ce qu'on a l'habitude de lire qu'on dirait un ouvrage documentaire pour jeunes enfants sur les relations amoureuses et les différentes formes que cela prend (bien que certaines choses évoquées dans le manga ne le sont définitivement pas). Je comprends que la narratrice n'est peut-être pas au même niveau que d'autres personnes sur ces questions, mais ce n'est même pas problématisé ou commenté de manière méta-narrative comme ça l'a été dans les autres manga de l'autrice.
Je ne retire rien du dessin ou de l'écriture, il n'y a pas de fil au récit (un chapitre vient complètement renverser le fil de la réflexion d'une page à l'autre suite à une lettre d'un ou une lectrice, on est content pour la protagoniste, mais le lectorat n'apprend pas vraiment rien). J'achèterais pour sûr le prochain livre de Kabi Nagata, mais celui-là est une grande déception dans sa production. Dans un genre similaire, il faudrait privilégier lire Liv Strömquist pour des BDs intéressantes sur l'amour, les relations, le romantisme, même si on peut ne pas être d'accord avec l'autrice sur certains points.
Je ne retire rien du dessin ou de l'écriture, il n'y a pas de fil au récit (un chapitre vient complètement renverser le fil de la réflexion d'une page à l'autre suite à une lettre d'un ou une lectrice, on est content pour la protagoniste, mais le lectorat n'apprend pas vraiment rien). J'achèterais pour sûr le prochain livre de Kabi Nagata, mais celui-là est une grande déception dans sa production. Dans un genre similaire, il faudrait privilégier lire Liv Strömquist pour des BDs intéressantes sur l'amour, les relations, le romantisme, même si on peut ne pas être d'accord avec l'autrice sur certains points.
January 1, 2024
Las lesbianas sin habilidades sociales que no entienden el amor romántico y piensan que nunca serán amadas y yo cuando:
________
Bueno ya hablando en serio creo que de todos los trabajos que he leído de Nagata este es el único que me costó terminar (tardé meses) porque genuinamente me pareció aburrido, tedioso y redundante.
A diferencia de los anteriores trabajos de la autora sentí que este no tiene un hilo de trama por así decir, son solo los pensamientos y experiencias de la autora acerca del amor lanzados al azar, y no digo que esto es necesariamente malo pero a mi me dió la sensación de que no había coherencia ni cohesión entre los capitulos.
En fin, estaré esperando los próximos trabajos de la autora que ojalá sean mejores y muestren a una Nagata Kabi más sana y feliz <3.
________
Bueno ya hablando en serio creo que de todos los trabajos que he leído de Nagata este es el único que me costó terminar (tardé meses) porque genuinamente me pareció aburrido, tedioso y redundante.
A diferencia de los anteriores trabajos de la autora sentí que este no tiene un hilo de trama por así decir, son solo los pensamientos y experiencias de la autora acerca del amor lanzados al azar, y no digo que esto es necesariamente malo pero a mi me dió la sensación de que no había coherencia ni cohesión entre los capitulos.
En fin, estaré esperando los próximos trabajos de la autora que ojalá sean mejores y muestren a una Nagata Kabi más sana y feliz <3.
May 27, 2024
this one wasn’t as like umm deep and captivating?(?) to me as the lesbian one but still good and relatable and more like.. sweet .. hopeful … she seems healthier and to be doing better (yay!! she has a positive outlook lately) but i’m consistently touched and inspired by her ability to understand and articulate herself… and draw things so expressively she has really good flow everything is satisfying to look at and clear…
i appreciate the TW abt SA like so much also
i just wish there was MORE!! i gotta read the rest of her work!!!!
i appreciate the TW abt SA like so much also
i just wish there was MORE!! i gotta read the rest of her work!!!!
October 14, 2025
Hmm, this memoir is about Nagata’s understanding of love and her ponderings on wanting to be loved/being in a romantic relationship.
I don’t know, it’s a bit tricky to consume a piece of media discussing love from a lack of experience and understanding. A lot of her musings fell a bit short this time.
It was interesting to see and understand why Nagata herself feels scared and confused about how a romantic relationship occurs. I found it fascinating, but also sad.
I don’t know, it’s a bit tricky to consume a piece of media discussing love from a lack of experience and understanding. A lot of her musings fell a bit short this time.
It was interesting to see and understand why Nagata herself feels scared and confused about how a romantic relationship occurs. I found it fascinating, but also sad.
February 17, 2025
aunque hace reflexiones q cualquier persona ha hecho ya con 11 años, me alegro mucho de q esté mejorando !!!
March 2, 2025
Sa vision très genrée du rôle des femmes m'a un peu gêné . C'était très essentialisant réduisant les femmes à leur rôle de "caregiver" et genre je suis désolée mais c'est pas pour ça que je suis lesbiennes Je suis néanmoins contente qu'elle ait l'air d'aller mieux.
May 3, 2024
Honest, wide eyed, and bittersweet.
April 19, 2022
I love these books so much.
I feel like they are the best, most honest record of recovery from mental illness and trauma I have ever seen. And this one especially is a delight in seeing a true reflection of "improvement" -- not a snap of the fingers, not a sudden change of circumstance, not a twist of fate that gives you everything you feel you're missing. Instead, a re-considering of priorities. Honesty in admitting the truly bad things that happened, and how they still affect us, how the effect for us might be different than for those who have endured the same traumas. Conversations that help you realize your previous expectations for life, or yourself, were not built on a reliable foundation. Steadily-improving relationships with your family, friends, yourself, all through vulnerability and communication. Small, precious steps. All told with humor, or bleak honesty, or mindful self-analysis.
And, perhaps most importantly: the reclamation of joy. Kabi Nagata has an addendum she claims is "not about anything, even more so than the rest of the book," but that's not true. It's about the happiness small, seemingly insignificant things are bringing her: plants, a big fridge, a new hobby. And it all made me nearly break down in tears (no, I'm lying, I'm crying as I write this), because these are the things that save us. Not an entirely new life as a new person we probably would think of as a stranger, compared to who we are now. Instead, discovering what about our lives is so much better and sweeter and more interesting than we ever thought possible -- things that always have been, and always will be, within our reach. No matter who we become, or who else shares that life with us.
I want to end this review with the same line as my last one. I look forward to the next time I hear from you, Kabi Nagata. Until then: sending my love.
I feel like they are the best, most honest record of recovery from mental illness and trauma I have ever seen. And this one especially is a delight in seeing a true reflection of "improvement" -- not a snap of the fingers, not a sudden change of circumstance, not a twist of fate that gives you everything you feel you're missing. Instead, a re-considering of priorities. Honesty in admitting the truly bad things that happened, and how they still affect us, how the effect for us might be different than for those who have endured the same traumas. Conversations that help you realize your previous expectations for life, or yourself, were not built on a reliable foundation. Steadily-improving relationships with your family, friends, yourself, all through vulnerability and communication. Small, precious steps. All told with humor, or bleak honesty, or mindful self-analysis.
And, perhaps most importantly: the reclamation of joy. Kabi Nagata has an addendum she claims is "not about anything, even more so than the rest of the book," but that's not true. It's about the happiness small, seemingly insignificant things are bringing her: plants, a big fridge, a new hobby. And it all made me nearly break down in tears (no, I'm lying, I'm crying as I write this), because these are the things that save us. Not an entirely new life as a new person we probably would think of as a stranger, compared to who we are now. Instead, discovering what about our lives is so much better and sweeter and more interesting than we ever thought possible -- things that always have been, and always will be, within our reach. No matter who we become, or who else shares that life with us.
I want to end this review with the same line as my last one. I look forward to the next time I hear from you, Kabi Nagata. Until then: sending my love.
October 21, 2024
“My Wandering Warrior Existence” is a manga focusing on author Nagata Kabi’s journey in romance to find love and happiness despite being single, not having a romantic partner, and having limited dating and sexual encounters.
The manga consists of ten chapters.
Chapter one, “Wedding for One,” begins by author Nagata Kabi introducing herself to the reader then providing a brief background on herself as an author of autobiographical manga. After being invited to a friend’s wedding a few years ago for the first time in her life and is so moved by the wedding ceremony that she decides to have wedding ceremony for one via a photo shoot. During the photo shoot, Kabi is surprised when her mother attends and takes photos. While Kabi initially feels excited, as the photo shoot progresses, she begins to feel sad and soon realizes that she doesn’t really want a wedding, she wants to be loved by someone. The chapter ends with Kabi inviting the reader to go on a journey with her as she examines her sexuality and perspective on gender norms when it comes to relationships and marriages.
Chapter two, “Learning Love Between Partners Exists,” begins with Kabi taking the reader back to a encounter she has when she was in her twenties and discovered a book called “Learning Love Between Partners Exists. While reading the book, Kabi was shocked to learn how big a loss a person can experience when they suddenly lose their partner. After believing that all couples are reluctantly married, by her thirties, Kabi begins to understand that some couples truly love each other. Having come from a family dynamic in which her parents had an arranged marriage, her entire worldview is upended by the revelation that love can be developed organically. The chapter ends with Kabi meeting a friend for lunch and learning that they were getting married to someone they met through a dating app for marriage minded people, leading her to sign up on the dating app.
Chapter three, “I Tried a Dating App,” begins with Kabi signing up on a dating app for marriage minded people. While Kabi follows the requirements of creating a profile and uploading photos, she is also brutally honest about her negative qualities including a being mentally ill (but getting treatment,) being mistaken for a guy, and having no dating experience. Kabi experiences terror when she receives positive feedback from potential relationship partners despite writing about herself in a negative light. In order to drive potential suitors away, Kabi rewrites her profile highlighting more of her flaws but is again met with positive responses and acceptance. After multiple edits to her profile in which she makes it worse and worse, Kabi’s fear of dating people from the app overwhelms her leasing her to delete the app. The chapter ends with Kabi wondering how people overcome their fear of strangers to date and eventually get married.
Chapter four, “Thinking About Why I…,” begins with Kabi internally questioning why others can dare and get married but this seems out of reach for her. Kabi shares her theory of being unable to have a normal relationship because she was sexually assaulted in the first grade. At this point in the graphic novel, Kabi informs the reader that since she will be discussing her assault for a bit, the reader can choose to skip that portion of the book and resume reading on page fifty-nine. I was horrified to read that after Kabi’s sexual assault, she was further traumatized and humiliated by police who yelled at her and school administrators who announced her assault at to her classmates and mention it throughout her school years at assemblies. After realizing that she knows people who have experienced sexual assault but have date and gotten married, she tries to determine the difference between romantic love and loving a friend. The chapter ends with Kabi deciding that her lack of romantic relationship could be due to a lack of faith in other people.
Chapter five, “I Take a Good Look at the Countless Hurdles,” begins with Kabi determining the various hurdles that she feels is preventing her from becoming involved in a romantic relationship in addition to faith in other people which include gender identity, type, sexual orientation. As Kabi tries to analyze each hurdle, she becomes more and more agitated that she feels like a woman but doesn’t like being viewed as a woman, likes being called sir and wears men underwear but doesn’t want to be a boy. Kabi expresses lack of understanding in how all humans are born of a woman and get nutrition from women then transition to seeking out men. The chapter ends with Kabi questioning whether or not she has to jump over all of the hurdles in front of her.
Chapter six, “Revolution by Reader Email,” begins with Kabi receiving an email from a reader which provides her with a unbiased of perspective on how loves develops. Following reader an extensive email from a reader, Kabi becomes inspired to try to find love and wonders if the hurdles she believed were stopping her even exist.
Chapter seven, “The Miso Soup I Made Is Yummy!,” begins with Kabi realizing that a relationship of loving and being loved isn’t as far away as she previously thought. Living by herself, Kabi focuses on living herself. The chapter ends with. Kabi being hopeful that her new self-love will attract the love she seeks, she still gets sad reading happy relationship stories since she still doesn’t know what she wants in a partner.
Chapter eight, “Why Do Happy Moments Between Partners Shake Me Up?,” begins with Kabi deciding to stop looking for a romantic partner. The chapter ends with Kabi worrying about not finding a partner and questions if her parents want a grandchild and other stuff.
Following chapter eight, Kabi provides what she refers to as a “final chapter for the time being. Called considers for the time being, titled “I’m Happy Now,” in which Kabi is shocked when her mother shares that grandchild doesn’t make everything perfect. The chapter ends with Kabi expressing satisfaction in her current life of living alone, not dating anyone or getting married then thanking the reader for reading this manga and providing support.
The manga ends with a bonus chapter completely unrelated to the previous story. In the bonus chapter, Kabi shares what items she bought when she moved from her parent’s house to live independently. After showing the reader purchases of bonsai, hoary fringe-moss, a large fridge. In an effort to get out of her comfort zone, Kabi decides to take ukulele and guitar lessons before eventually choosing to focus solely on playing the ukulele.
As I finished the graphic novel, I enjoyed the amount of candor and transparency Kabi shows throughout the manga is showing the good and bad parts of her internal self-discovery journey, especially when writing about such a sensitive topic as sexual assault.
The manga consists of ten chapters.
Chapter one, “Wedding for One,” begins by author Nagata Kabi introducing herself to the reader then providing a brief background on herself as an author of autobiographical manga. After being invited to a friend’s wedding a few years ago for the first time in her life and is so moved by the wedding ceremony that she decides to have wedding ceremony for one via a photo shoot. During the photo shoot, Kabi is surprised when her mother attends and takes photos. While Kabi initially feels excited, as the photo shoot progresses, she begins to feel sad and soon realizes that she doesn’t really want a wedding, she wants to be loved by someone. The chapter ends with Kabi inviting the reader to go on a journey with her as she examines her sexuality and perspective on gender norms when it comes to relationships and marriages.
Chapter two, “Learning Love Between Partners Exists,” begins with Kabi taking the reader back to a encounter she has when she was in her twenties and discovered a book called “Learning Love Between Partners Exists. While reading the book, Kabi was shocked to learn how big a loss a person can experience when they suddenly lose their partner. After believing that all couples are reluctantly married, by her thirties, Kabi begins to understand that some couples truly love each other. Having come from a family dynamic in which her parents had an arranged marriage, her entire worldview is upended by the revelation that love can be developed organically. The chapter ends with Kabi meeting a friend for lunch and learning that they were getting married to someone they met through a dating app for marriage minded people, leading her to sign up on the dating app.
Chapter three, “I Tried a Dating App,” begins with Kabi signing up on a dating app for marriage minded people. While Kabi follows the requirements of creating a profile and uploading photos, she is also brutally honest about her negative qualities including a being mentally ill (but getting treatment,) being mistaken for a guy, and having no dating experience. Kabi experiences terror when she receives positive feedback from potential relationship partners despite writing about herself in a negative light. In order to drive potential suitors away, Kabi rewrites her profile highlighting more of her flaws but is again met with positive responses and acceptance. After multiple edits to her profile in which she makes it worse and worse, Kabi’s fear of dating people from the app overwhelms her leasing her to delete the app. The chapter ends with Kabi wondering how people overcome their fear of strangers to date and eventually get married.
Chapter four, “Thinking About Why I…,” begins with Kabi internally questioning why others can dare and get married but this seems out of reach for her. Kabi shares her theory of being unable to have a normal relationship because she was sexually assaulted in the first grade. At this point in the graphic novel, Kabi informs the reader that since she will be discussing her assault for a bit, the reader can choose to skip that portion of the book and resume reading on page fifty-nine. I was horrified to read that after Kabi’s sexual assault, she was further traumatized and humiliated by police who yelled at her and school administrators who announced her assault at to her classmates and mention it throughout her school years at assemblies. After realizing that she knows people who have experienced sexual assault but have date and gotten married, she tries to determine the difference between romantic love and loving a friend. The chapter ends with Kabi deciding that her lack of romantic relationship could be due to a lack of faith in other people.
Chapter five, “I Take a Good Look at the Countless Hurdles,” begins with Kabi determining the various hurdles that she feels is preventing her from becoming involved in a romantic relationship in addition to faith in other people which include gender identity, type, sexual orientation. As Kabi tries to analyze each hurdle, she becomes more and more agitated that she feels like a woman but doesn’t like being viewed as a woman, likes being called sir and wears men underwear but doesn’t want to be a boy. Kabi expresses lack of understanding in how all humans are born of a woman and get nutrition from women then transition to seeking out men. The chapter ends with Kabi questioning whether or not she has to jump over all of the hurdles in front of her.
Chapter six, “Revolution by Reader Email,” begins with Kabi receiving an email from a reader which provides her with a unbiased of perspective on how loves develops. Following reader an extensive email from a reader, Kabi becomes inspired to try to find love and wonders if the hurdles she believed were stopping her even exist.
Chapter seven, “The Miso Soup I Made Is Yummy!,” begins with Kabi realizing that a relationship of loving and being loved isn’t as far away as she previously thought. Living by herself, Kabi focuses on living herself. The chapter ends with. Kabi being hopeful that her new self-love will attract the love she seeks, she still gets sad reading happy relationship stories since she still doesn’t know what she wants in a partner.
Chapter eight, “Why Do Happy Moments Between Partners Shake Me Up?,” begins with Kabi deciding to stop looking for a romantic partner. The chapter ends with Kabi worrying about not finding a partner and questions if her parents want a grandchild and other stuff.
Following chapter eight, Kabi provides what she refers to as a “final chapter for the time being. Called considers for the time being, titled “I’m Happy Now,” in which Kabi is shocked when her mother shares that grandchild doesn’t make everything perfect. The chapter ends with Kabi expressing satisfaction in her current life of living alone, not dating anyone or getting married then thanking the reader for reading this manga and providing support.
The manga ends with a bonus chapter completely unrelated to the previous story. In the bonus chapter, Kabi shares what items she bought when she moved from her parent’s house to live independently. After showing the reader purchases of bonsai, hoary fringe-moss, a large fridge. In an effort to get out of her comfort zone, Kabi decides to take ukulele and guitar lessons before eventually choosing to focus solely on playing the ukulele.
As I finished the graphic novel, I enjoyed the amount of candor and transparency Kabi shows throughout the manga is showing the good and bad parts of her internal self-discovery journey, especially when writing about such a sensitive topic as sexual assault.
This entire review has been hidden because of spoilers.
April 4, 2022
If you tried to sell me on a book saying "It's a voyage of discovery where someone learns to love and empower themselves while coming to terms with gender norms," I'd never pick it up. Those are all things I support but it sounds So Boring. And yet, that's precisely how I would describe this excellent, fast read of a biographical manga.
After putting on a one person wedding photoshoot, they start to ponder if true love is real, and if they can figure out how to achieve it. It's truly a pedestrian idea told perfectly. Kabi really has become a master of this style of manga, and I love breezing through her books. She's such a straight-forward, honest storyteller. There are no pretentions to her work at all. I need to go back and read My Alcoholic Escape from Reality to complete her biblography.
I recommend this for anyone who enjoys memoirs, manga that doesn't take itself too seriously, and easy-to-read treatises on gender.
After putting on a one person wedding photoshoot, they start to ponder if true love is real, and if they can figure out how to achieve it. It's truly a pedestrian idea told perfectly. Kabi really has become a master of this style of manga, and I love breezing through her books. She's such a straight-forward, honest storyteller. There are no pretentions to her work at all. I need to go back and read My Alcoholic Escape from Reality to complete her biblography.
I recommend this for anyone who enjoys memoirs, manga that doesn't take itself too seriously, and easy-to-read treatises on gender.
July 2, 2023
i didn’t know this was the last (for now) volume in nagata’s series and i read this volume before ‘my solo exchange diary’!! i wish i had saved this one for last but the experience was still lovely!
if i’m honest, this wasn’t nagata’s best work, however upon looking at the reviews a lot of people are saying it’s because it was a complete narrative rather than an anecdotal one which i can understand since there wasn’t a lot of material that caught my interest.
however!!
i think that this in itself is soooo important, instead of bashing her that this volume wasn’t as interesting as the others, people should be happy for her that she’s finally at a place in her life where her mental health is a lot better!!! she may not have as much to say about the negatives in her life but that is a good thing!
this in itself is wrapped up in the last chapter where she explains that this volume will probably be the last one for now since she’s doing okay at the moment and doesn’t feel the need to draw herself struggling in her manga as a coping mechanism! i’m happy she’s doing better and i hope she starts a new series soon, i love her storytelling and art style :)
if i’m honest, this wasn’t nagata’s best work, however upon looking at the reviews a lot of people are saying it’s because it was a complete narrative rather than an anecdotal one which i can understand since there wasn’t a lot of material that caught my interest.
however!!
i think that this in itself is soooo important, instead of bashing her that this volume wasn’t as interesting as the others, people should be happy for her that she’s finally at a place in her life where her mental health is a lot better!!! she may not have as much to say about the negatives in her life but that is a good thing!
this in itself is wrapped up in the last chapter where she explains that this volume will probably be the last one for now since she’s doing okay at the moment and doesn’t feel the need to draw herself struggling in her manga as a coping mechanism! i’m happy she’s doing better and i hope she starts a new series soon, i love her storytelling and art style :)
June 11, 2022
I enjoy this authors work, but I feel like eventually she needs to branch out from autobio manga. Despite its shortness this was a hard read for me to stay focused on and I felt like I disagreed with most of her conclusions about love (her take on attraction to women, the reader email with the whole dna bit etc.). I know I won't agree with everyone on everything, I just feel overall like the author is spinning her wheels for the most part and rewriting the same things over and over again. Parts of this feel like the parts of Alison Bechdel comics that I don't enjoy, even though I also enjoy her work as a whole. But I think sometimes things can get too introspective and repetitive. I don't regret reading this, but I don't feel like some of the topics were touched on enough for something that felt like it wanted to dig deeper.
July 7, 2024
I love Nagata's manga diaries and I will keep buying them untill she decides to stop.
EDIT: A lot of reviewers are really harsh on her for this one, in which she's exploring a lot of topics that many people would have explored during high school instead of in their 30s like Nagata: gender, sexuality, identity, etc. But like, fuck those reviewers? Clearly Nagata did not have time to explore these topics back then as she was dealing with literal trauma (child SA, eating disorders, alcoholism, anxiety, personality disorders, a whole list). These are literally her diaries, you idiots. Let the woman write her personal essays: therapy is work and she's literally getting paid to show her work on the internet. Good for her! I enjoy going on this journey with her and I cannot wait for her to get some perspective in like a decade or two and look back on all these topics with a wider lens!
EDIT: A lot of reviewers are really harsh on her for this one, in which she's exploring a lot of topics that many people would have explored during high school instead of in their 30s like Nagata: gender, sexuality, identity, etc. But like, fuck those reviewers? Clearly Nagata did not have time to explore these topics back then as she was dealing with literal trauma (child SA, eating disorders, alcoholism, anxiety, personality disorders, a whole list). These are literally her diaries, you idiots. Let the woman write her personal essays: therapy is work and she's literally getting paid to show her work on the internet. Good for her! I enjoy going on this journey with her and I cannot wait for her to get some perspective in like a decade or two and look back on all these topics with a wider lens!
March 23, 2022
While there are some major differences (I'm a cishet male for one) I see an uncomfortable amount of me in this author. This book is a good read for anyone else who just doesn't seem to understand how romantic relationships work for the vast majority of people.
Don't get me wrong here, it doesn't tell you how they appear to work so easily for everyone else but, it does a good job of reminding us that, even if we are a tiny minority of the species, we aren't completely alone in having these problems.
Don't get me wrong here, it doesn't tell you how they appear to work so easily for everyone else but, it does a good job of reminding us that, even if we are a tiny minority of the species, we aren't completely alone in having these problems.
August 20, 2022
Wonderful, hilarious, and super relatable, as usual. I love Nagata Kabi!
October 27, 2022
she‘s just like me fr
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