The Incredible Years: A Trouble-Shooting Guide for Parents of Children Aged 2-8 Years

by Carolyn Webster-Stratton

A trouble-shooting guide for parents of children ages 2-8 years.

Genres: Parenting, Psychology, Nonfiction, Childrens, Family, Self Help, Unfinished

320 pages, Paperback

First published December 1, 1992

Reviews

[Rebecca · Rating 5 out of 5]

This is by far the very best parenting book out there. I have taken the 20 week course offered by the author and her staff. It has made a huge difference in our lives. A very thorough book that offers parenting skills and coping techniques for a variety of situations (for kids and adults). All of the information given has been scientifically tested over the last 25 years. Carolyn really has come up with a winning program.

[Caroline · Rating 4 out of 5]

This is a very opinionated book. It tells parents exactly what to do, with little in the way of reasoning, let alone evidence. Often the advice seemed like common sense, e.g. giving a child a chance to do better as soon as possible after being reprimanded. That can still be useful, since even when the book gave advice I already agreed with, I often noticed afterward that I wasn't following the advice as often as I'd thought. Other times, though, the advice went against my common sense, such as the advice to discourage tattling even in cases where you agree that you need to intervene. In those cases, I didn't get much out of the book, since no attempt was made to change my mind.

This is a very practical book. It doesn't just tell you broad outlines of what to do, but rather goes into a lot of detail. For example, lots of parenting advice suggests sticker charts, but this book goes into a lot more depth than other sources, listing common mistakes parents make using them and how to avoid those mistakes.

This is a very comprehensive book. I was expecting a book on effective punishments, but it covered a lot of other aspects of parenting too. It was focused on how to get better behavior from children, but within that focus it covered a side variety of techniques - time outs, ignoring unwanted behavior, positively reinforcing wanted behavior, teaching problem solving skills, etc.

Even though the book doesn't feel evidence-based while reading it, it is evidence-backed. I picked it up because Emily Oster mentioned in Cribsheet that RCTs have shown children's behavior improves after parents take The Incredible Years course. The studies looked at a live course, but presumably the same topics are covered as in this book. That does help a bit forgoing judgment when I disagree with the book, although I would still prefer more reasoning to be given.

The cover of the edition I read says it is for children ages 2-8 years. Earlier editions said 3-8 years, and I think that was more accurate. I don't expect most of the techniques here to apply to my 2 year old for anothet year or more. Thus, I can't yet directly judge the helpfulness most of the advice. However, my initial guess is that in a couple years I'll be glad I read this.

[Fiora · Rating 4 out of 5]

Parenting is very much trial and error.
I read this book to give me a little guidance as a first time mother. I must say this was a great/informative read with great examples.
I have written notes to implement into my everyday parenting routine.

[Greg · Rating 4 out of 5]

Paul and I have been reading this book in preparation for become parents. It offers great advice on raising children. Now... we'll just see how well we can put the ideas into practice.

[Klara · Rating 4 out of 5]

I only it was that simple.

[Cyndie · Rating 3 out of 5]

Somewhat simplistic and outdated. Certain concepts are helpful, and will be useful in communications in all kinds of relationships.

[Yvonne · Rating 3 out of 5]

I read this book as well as taking the class that goes with it. I feel like the first part of the book is best suited to parents of very young children, perhaps under 5. It goes over concepts of self-directed play, praising your child, natural & logical consequences, etc... I think if your children are over 5 it's too late to apply these concepts without alienating your children or deeply embarrassing them. The information they give for children school age and above will pretty much set you up to being a helicopter parent. For instance, suggesting the best way to improve your child's social skills is by selecting a friend for them and having a highly structured play date supervised by you at all times, so you can praise them for following the highly structured rules you setup before said play date. Um, not really the advice that works for me...

I read about half of the book and skimmed the rest. The book was written in the 70s, with some updated information. I feel like this book was probably revolutionary in it's time, but more modern theories have been developed since then, which makes this book feel dated. I would recommend this book to a new parent with no experience as a place to start and then would have them move onto The Whole Brain Child, No-Drama Discipline, and Boundaries with Kids as much better texts.

[Evie · Rating 5 out of 5]

The content of this book is based on research done at the Parenting Clinic at the Universoty of Washington and is especially targeted to parents of children 3-8 with challenging behaviors and diagnoses. This was referred to me as a resource to follow PBMT (parent behavior management training) though the author does not use that specific term. At first read, alot of the content seems like common sense parenting, but it is also very specific and scripted. Some of the skills she teaches are coaching your child (academic, social, emotional); using praise, incentives, ignoring, and time outs; teaching problem solving, friendship skills, and emotional regulation. Part 2 is addressed to parents managing their own problems and stressors, and Part 3 addresses specific areas such as screen time, going to bed, and sibling rivalry. This book is very dense and packed with very specific and practical skills and tools that a parent can implement. She both empathizes with the challenges that parents face and encourages them that there is always a way forward.

[Natalie · Rating 4 out of 5]

Excelente livro que todos os pais deviam ler, com varias estratégias a utilizar na educação das crianças e recomendações para as problemáticas comportamentais mais comuns nas crianças. Também pode ser muito útil para os professores e educadores, pois as estratégias também podem ser aplicadas nas salas de aula.

[Alissa Kelli Lyn Sarbiewski Hazelbaker · Rating 4 out of 5]

This is a great book. The principles in the book are explained clearly. I work with psychologists who teach this program to children and their parents and the children's transformations are remarkable. The parents transformations are as well. The book says for children 2-8 but these principles can be taught and are effective for people of all ages.

[Clararquitect · Rating 5 out of 5]

All parents should read these collections nobody knows how to be a parent this is the best manual for all parents should be mandatory to all parents to read it, if all parents read it and put it in practice jails will be empty we are the responsable of the citizens if this world we are the parents we teach our kids values

[Erin · Rating 5 out of 5]

The BEST parenting book out there! This program really works. Make sure to implement just one chapter a week. You want to build up to the end chapters. EVERY parent should read this if they want a well behaved, happy child.

[Veronica Keatch · Rating 1 out of 5]

Ok got recommended by my dr really know info in the book a few things helped basic book at times boring

[Abdulrahman B. · Rating 5 out of 5]

دليل في استكشاف الاخطاء وإصلاحها في تربية الاطفال من عمر ٣ الى عمر ٨ و موجه للوالدين. قد ينطبق على الاعمار مابعد ١٠ الى ١٣ سنوات. الكتاب في ٤٦٠ صفحة باللغة الانجليزية في جزئين . الجزء الاول يتحدث عن أساسيات الوالديه ويطرح في عدة فصول فكرة تعزيز العلاقة الايجابية باللعب والتدريب العاطفي والاجتماعي وتأثير التعزيز الايجابي والمدح للطفل وغيره من المواضيع وتأثير تعليم الاطفال في حل المشكلات ومهارات تكوين الصداقات. في الجزء الثاني يتضمن الكتاب على فصول في التواصل الفعال ومهارات التحكم بالانفعالات للاطفال. في الجزء الاخير يطرح مشكلات سلوكية عند الاطفال مثل الكذب والسرقة ومقاومة النوم وبللل الفراش وعصيان الاطفال وكيفية التعامل معها بطرق عملية تمت دراستها وبحثها ومبنية على البراهين العلمية. الكتاب سهل القراءة ومهم للوالدين والمؤلفة تعمل على عدة مواد في هذا المجال من ٤٠ سنة. الكتاب يتوفر في الموقع الالكتروني للمؤلفة.

[David Ferreira Alves · Rating 4 out of 5]

Um manual para ajudar a enfrentar o maior desafio da humanidade: parentalidade.
Diram muitos que é uma questão de bom senso. Seja, mas é muito útil sermos relembrados e ter consciência que não somos os únicos e outros já tiveram as mesmas hesitações e dúvidas.
A leitura é simples e repetitiva pois precisamos de ser relembrados várias vezes.
Algumas técnicas são demasiado americanas mas a intenção é clara e podemos adoptar soluções mais "europeias".
Aconselho a pais recentes ou com vontade de rever as regras e relações em casa.

[Piia Appo · Rating 4 out of 5]

Nagu ikka sarnaste vanemlusega seotud raamatutega – päriselu on palju nüansirohkem ja keerulisem. On palju põhimõtteid, mis on meie peres kasutusel ja mõned, mida kindlasti veel rakendada saaks. Nagu ikka peab nõuanded läbi enda filtri laskma ja endale sobivamaks kohendama.

Meeldisid konkreetsed juhised ja näited, kuigi alternatiive oleks samuti tahtnud näha. Lisaks on juhised antud teatava eeldusega, et vanemad suudavad igas olukorras ideaalse lahenduseni jõuda (mis ilmselgelt pole alati võimalik).

Samas on tegemist kasuliku raamatuga, mida saan edaspidigi sirvida.

[Christine · Rating 5 out of 5]

This is a great no frills, not gimicky parenting book. I love the focus on enhancing positive behaviors as well as trying to diminish the unwanted behaviors. A large body of research evidence backs us this excellent and clear book. The main limitations are that it is hard to find and that the use of sticker charts came up a lot. I wish there was some consideration of other tracking approaches (even just a tiny mention). Nevertheless... 5 stars for this foundational book.

[Colin · Rating 4 out of 5]

Not quite sure how I feel about this one -- it veers between "that's a good idea, we should try that", "thanks, Captain Obvious" and "no, that has zero chance of working". On balance, I think I found it useful but annoying, which is about as much as can be hoped for with this sort of book.

[Lucy Darby · Rating 3 out of 5]

Some nice ideas and philosophies to apply broadly e.g. positive reinforcement, knowing when to ignore vs intervene, generating solutions to problems. Feels a bit American and slightly aged as some gender stereotypes are a bit outdated. Having learnt about the Montessori approach I find that some of the approaches are at odds with Webster-Stratton's suggestions.

[Saša Potisk · Rating 4 out of 5]

Lepo urejen in na ameriški način pozitivno napisan priročnik oz. "navodilo za uporabo otroka" (joke 🙃). Koristno tudi izven starševskih težav, saj je večina komunikacijskih spretnosti in principov veljavna tudi v šolah ali pri odraslih.

[Lightwhisper · Rating 4 out of 5]

Um livro com estratégias de educação bem estudadas e apresentadas, no entanto, há capítulos que não ressoam em mim, e que sinta, que estão ultrapassados por estratégias mais humanistas e empoderadas. No entanto, muito completo e útil.

[Diana Arraia · Rating 5 out of 5]

Foi me recomendado numa conferência em que participei sobre a importância do brincar e confirmo que é uma excelente ferramenta de ajuda aos pais que lutam todos os dias para ajudar os filhos nesta aventura do crescer.

[Brandon · Rating 5 out of 5]

Wow! Incredibly dense with useful information. Head and shoulders above *any* parenting book I've read. Should be mandatory reading even for non-parents.

[Moon (Sam) · Rating 4 out of 5]

this book was given to me as a read along for a parents course. it was a handy tool to follow along with the course lessons and has some useful tips in it.

[T. Scott · Rating 3 out of 5]

A great resource.

[UW LEND · Rating 5 out of 5]

Clear, concise, tangible

[Sheila · Rating 5 out of 5]

Great book on parenting that is easy to read with good tips.

[Khrystyna Kolesnyk · Rating 5 out of 5]

The good, well written instruction for parental wisdom and kids happiness.

[YN · Rating 4 out of 5]

Easy and Informative Read

[Ville Saarinen · Rating 4 out of 5]

5 for the content, 3 for the dry prose, which might be just the translation.