Deepest Thoughts: So Deep They Squeak 1st (first) by Handey, Jack (1900) Paperback

Deep Thoughts

by Jack Handey

With nearly 500,000 copies sold of his previous collections, Deep Thoughts and Deeper Thoughts, philosophizing funnyman Jack Handey (of Saturday Night Live) once again combines soul searching with rib tickling. He offers pearls of wisdom, inspiration and observation in an odd and utterly original manner.

Genres: Humor, Comedy, Nonfiction

Paperback

First published January 1, 1994

About the author

Jack Handey is an American humorist. He is best known for his Deep Thoughts, a large body of surrealistic one-liner jokes, as well as his "Fuzzy Memories" and "My Big Thick Novel" shorts. Many people have the false impression that Jack Handey is not an actual person, but a character created by Saturday Night Live or a pen name used by National Lampoon.

Reviews

[Philip]

I wouldn't suggest taking advice from Jack Handey (no offense, Mr. Handey, sir...)

Case-in-point: I just read the book, and one thought said: "When you go to a party, don't just assume the drinks are free. Ask, and ask often."

Well, I went to a party last night. I double checked with Mr. Beachy, if it was ok to drink that 7-up. He assured me it was. I asked about the next 7-up too. And the next one. Honestly, he didn't seem that grateful towards my consideration. He seemed more annoyed - as did the other party guests. (I'll also add that they appeared to assume I was asking about their drinks as well, because not once did they ask for permission to raid his fridge.)

Needless to say, it doesn't look like I'll be invited back there any time soon. Thanks a lot, "Jack..." if that's you're real name - which wikipedia says it is... I'm never taking your advice again...

Which means I'm paying NO attention to this one: "If you go to a costume party at your boss's house, wouldn't you think a good costume would be to dress up like the boss's wife? Trust me, it's not."

I'm never trusting you again, Jack Handey.

[Melanee]

Absolutely hillarious.

[Andrew]

I mean really, you just can't beat deep thoughts.

[Brad]

A book that takes less than half an hour to read, yet made me throw my head back in laughter five times.

It's probably just the context of when I decided to read the book, but I liked this one better than the first two "Deep Thoughts" books.


Here are the culprits:
"I can picture in my mind a world without war, a world without hate. And I can picture us attacking that world, because they'd never expect it."

"When I found the skull in the woods, the first thing I did was call the police. But then I got curious about it. I picked it up, and started wondering who this person was, and why he had deer horns."

"When this girl at the museum asked me who I liked better, Monet or Manet, I said, 'I like mayonnaise.' She stared at me, so I said it again, louder. Then she left. I guess she went to try and find some mayonnaise for me."

"A funny thing is if you're out hiking and your friend gets bitten by a poisonous snake, tell him you're going for help, then go about ten feet and pretend you got bit by a snake. Then start an argument about who's going to go get help. A lot of guys will start crying. That's why it makes you feel good when you tell them it was just a joke."

"It's funny that pirates were always going around searching for treasure, and they never realized that the real treasure was the fond memories they were creating."

[Jamie Jonas]

A revelry of profound silliness. Handey has the gift of beginning a thought as if it were a jewel of wisdom, then turning it so totally on its ear (if jewels had ears) that a few times I actually burst into laughter. Yes, a handful of the 'thoughts' here are fairly vulgar and gruesome, so I'm glad that my copy's binding is falling to pieces--my conscience will be clear when I collect the best and recycle the rest.

[Jessica]

I picture / hear his voice as i read them to myself. Brilliant. I could pee my pants laughing.

[The Lady Anna]

Brilliant.

[Patrice]

I read this silly book in 30 minutes. Even had to put it away as I was laughing so hard waiting in my doctor's office....

[Tim Ganotis]

Scarcely contained lunacy. Fantastic.

[William]

Good. Really liked the flea one and the rich person one.

[Abby]

Jack Handey is objectively hilarious. I look forward to reading his earlier works!

[Johnny]

Sooo funny - a classic from my childhood

[Carla Villar]

Silly thoughts. Some make you laugh.

[Tim]

Deep. Deeper. Deepest. This book was so deep.

[Margaret Withers]

I just think these are funny :)
Happy to have for reference!

[Benjamin Niespodziany]

The goat of the micro joke. I didn't know there was a third collection of his deep thoughts. This one's just as good as the other two.

[Nicholas]

Yes, I'm scraping the bottom of the barrel in order to complete my reading goal by midnight. But I haven't picked this up in years and it is legitimately laugh out loud funny.

[Sharon Zink]

Interesting nonsense.

[Jordynb.]

This is one of the funniest book I've ever read. I promise you I've read this book multiple times in one day for a month. Its a very short book and is totally worth the time. It is a collection of thought from the author. Its good because it is something I can relate to. Everyone has those random thoughts about past experiences or about what is going on around them that they just keep to themselves. One thing about reading this book is that you don't expect what you are going to get. This book somehow thought me a lessons that I will never forget, I hope you can experience the same. Also when reading this book you must read it with an open mind and do not judge the book, to get the true experience.

[nimrodiel]

It's been a long while since I've seen a Saturday Night Live rerun with Deep thoughts by Jack Handey in it. I didn't remember them being quite so disturbing at times...

I think one of my favorites from this collection is

It's funny that pirates were always going around searching for treasure, and they never realized that the real treasure was the fond memories they were creating.

and

If you were a pirate, you know what would be the one thing that would really make you mad? Treasure chests with no handles. How the hell are you supposed to carry it?!

See where this book travels next, at: http://www.bookcrossing.com/journal/5...

[Zachary]

Perfect train book. While all the other riders stare dead eyed at their phones, this book - full of funny observations and non-sequiturs set to peaceful scenes of nature in the background - will make you laugh and wonder who the hell thought of this stuff. Answer: Jack Handey...

"When you go to a party at somebody's house, don't automatically assume that the drinks are free. Ask, and ask often."

"Isn't it funny how one minute life can be such a struggle, and the next minute you're just driving real fast, swerving back and forth across the road?"

[Dane Cobain]

This book was awesome! Jack Handey was a writer for Saturday Night Live, and this book contains some of his musings on life, such as: “It’s funny that pirates were always going around searching for treasure, and they never realised that the real treasure was the fond memories they were creating.”

What, you need further persuasion? Why? This book is just as entertaining as Deep Thoughts, its predecessor. It comes highly recommended from me, so get it!

[Rich Meyer]

The third (and I think final) Deep Thoughts collection has some of the more sublime aphorisms and quotes, nearly none of which have seen publication before (either in National Lampoon or as part of Saturday Night Live). Funny stuff, and I think Senor Handey knew just when to end the series: Before it became too repetitive or too obscure for his readers.

[Bunny]

A nice fluffy book after Slaughterhouse Five. It's very short. I always loved the Deep Thoughts segments of SNL, and I want to read all of these, but unfortunately, our library system only has this one. >:-o I suppose I will have to wait.

[Shauna]

Funny one liners. Good for a laugh and then it was time to pass the book on to another moocher.

[Allison]

A comic genius for sure!

[Chris Comis]

I could read (and will read) this book a thousand times and still laugh my head off. Handey is brilliantly funny.

[Deena]

Jack Handey consistently brings perma-grins/belly laughs. I confess, he can be crude, but overall his humor delivers on a level all of his own.

[Farrell the Feral]

Saturday Night Live's Deep Thoughts by Jack Handy. You should appreciate this even if you've never heard of Jack Handy. And, if you don't, you're not my friend.

[Matt Piechocinski]

Laugh out loud. Good stuff.