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The Zen of Zombie: Better Living Through the Undead
The world of the The Walking Dead meets the Ram Das Deepak Chopra crowd in this hilarious parody of self-help manuals. Learn how to slow down and move at your own pace, become your own boss, and just devour those irritating people who get in your way.
Do you struggle out of bed each morning and sway lifelessly across the room, mouth agape, arms hanging slack, murmuring unintelligibly? Well, take you’re not alone! But these other staggering, limp, perpetually drowsy folks just happen to be zombies—and it turns out they can teach us a lot about enjoying life. And only here, between the covers of this book, will you learn their secrets to happiness.
And there’s more, because zombies can offer no-nonsense advice on love, playing to your strengths, and more. The table of contents
Learn how to love your undead yourself and succeed in the real world.
“We’ve all heard the slurs and stereotypes, but few people stop to consider how much humans have to learn from zombies. What about all the good things zombies do? This book is a guide through the life lessons that can be gleaned from one of the netherworld’s most successful the implacable, untamable zombie. Whatever your setback or ailment, zombies feel your pain. Have you ever felt as if other people were smarter than you? Quicker on the uptake? Zombies feel this way every day. Have you ever been tongue-tied while those around you knew exactly what to say? (Maybe when you did speak, it came out as nothing more than some guttural croaks and gurgles, and possibly very simple words like ‘brains?’). Zombies haven’t let this stop them. Do you drool at inappropriate times? Stagger when you walk? Stare unblinkingly at passersby, sometimes for hours on end, unnerving each one of them?”
Do you struggle out of bed each morning and sway lifelessly across the room, mouth agape, arms hanging slack, murmuring unintelligibly? Well, take you’re not alone! But these other staggering, limp, perpetually drowsy folks just happen to be zombies—and it turns out they can teach us a lot about enjoying life. And only here, between the covers of this book, will you learn their secrets to happiness.
And there’s more, because zombies can offer no-nonsense advice on love, playing to your strengths, and more. The table of contents
Learn how to love your undead yourself and succeed in the real world.
“We’ve all heard the slurs and stereotypes, but few people stop to consider how much humans have to learn from zombies. What about all the good things zombies do? This book is a guide through the life lessons that can be gleaned from one of the netherworld’s most successful the implacable, untamable zombie. Whatever your setback or ailment, zombies feel your pain. Have you ever felt as if other people were smarter than you? Quicker on the uptake? Zombies feel this way every day. Have you ever been tongue-tied while those around you knew exactly what to say? (Maybe when you did speak, it came out as nothing more than some guttural croaks and gurgles, and possibly very simple words like ‘brains?’). Zombies haven’t let this stop them. Do you drool at inappropriate times? Stagger when you walk? Stare unblinkingly at passersby, sometimes for hours on end, unnerving each one of them?”
272 pages, Paperback
First published October 17, 2007
57 people are currently reading
1475 people want to read
About the author
Scott Kenemore
31 books135 followersScott Kenemore lives in Chicago. He attended Kenyon College and Columbia University. He is the drummer for the pop-punk band The Blissters."
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Displaying 1 - 30 of 122 reviews
January 29, 2008
**Ok, now I'm "finished" reading it... my conclusion at the bottom of this previous entry:
Not done reading it but so far...
I had high hopes for this book, after reading the king of Zombie-Lit, Max Brooks. I knew nobody could compare, but I was willing to give Kenemore a chance.
It started off strong, with the 24 habits of highly effective Zombies. The very first chapter had me chuckling aloud.
But then... call me petty, I found this:
"Don't count your chickens before they're hatched... or your zombies before they're fully reanimated. Listen up Mr. Mad-Scientist-Warlock Voodoo-Priest Guy. I'm talking to you. Zombies move at their own pace, and they reanimate when their good and ready. So just be patient and thankful for the corpses that do turn into zombies."
I'm sorry, does the "good and ready" belong to the zombies? Why, oh why is it so hard to get the correct form of the word their/they're/there in a professionally edited book?
So, by the time I found this example of poor editing, I was already unimpressed. This book is funny-ish, but it's really the same joke over and over again. Were this book utterly amazing, the editing alone might drop it down to 4 stars. Since it's not that great already, only time will tell how far down the scale it will slip.
** This whole book was written by a frat boy. Ok, maybe he's not actually a frat boy, but the easy, conversational tone in which he writes is funny for a few sentences, and then you just want him to shut up. The tipping point for me was "bruh," as in "Don't worry, though. Zombies have your back, bruh."
"Bro" would have been quite casual enough. I was really trying to make a good faith effort to make it all the way through the book, even overlooking bad editing. Bruh made me realize it was written by someone with whom I would never have an actual conversation.
One or two pages - funny. Two hundred and sixty-two pages - draining.
Not done reading it but so far...
I had high hopes for this book, after reading the king of Zombie-Lit, Max Brooks. I knew nobody could compare, but I was willing to give Kenemore a chance.
It started off strong, with the 24 habits of highly effective Zombies. The very first chapter had me chuckling aloud.
But then... call me petty, I found this:
"Don't count your chickens before they're hatched... or your zombies before they're fully reanimated. Listen up Mr. Mad-Scientist-Warlock Voodoo-Priest Guy. I'm talking to you. Zombies move at their own pace, and they reanimate when their good and ready. So just be patient and thankful for the corpses that do turn into zombies."
I'm sorry, does the "good and ready" belong to the zombies? Why, oh why is it so hard to get the correct form of the word their/they're/there in a professionally edited book?
So, by the time I found this example of poor editing, I was already unimpressed. This book is funny-ish, but it's really the same joke over and over again. Were this book utterly amazing, the editing alone might drop it down to 4 stars. Since it's not that great already, only time will tell how far down the scale it will slip.
** This whole book was written by a frat boy. Ok, maybe he's not actually a frat boy, but the easy, conversational tone in which he writes is funny for a few sentences, and then you just want him to shut up. The tipping point for me was "bruh," as in "Don't worry, though. Zombies have your back, bruh."
"Bro" would have been quite casual enough. I was really trying to make a good faith effort to make it all the way through the book, even overlooking bad editing. Bruh made me realize it was written by someone with whom I would never have an actual conversation.
One or two pages - funny. Two hundred and sixty-two pages - draining.
October 23, 2011
I'm not gonna lie. I spend about 80% of my time thinking about Zombies. I think about the supermarket I work at being over run with them. And I've planned how to lock that bitch down. I daydream about hitting them in the face with my trusty spade (hopefully they attack at the seasonal time of year we sell them or I'm screwed) and generally being abit of hero...Hey, we all have dreams right? Which brings me to the problem with this book. The content just wasn't interesting enough to keep my focus and I kept wondering into my zombie killing daydream. I don't even want to be a zombie. I want to be the one taking them out. I just couldn't get into my zen. Did make me chuckle a few times but overall a bit of a disappointment.
November 5, 2010
I have not read a single self-help book in my life and have been grateful that it has never been a calling of mine. Sure, a few business class reads about the habits of this and who moved my cheese and so on, but THIS is THE tome for the person who needs a whole life makeover.
Nothing can compare to becoming a zombie as a way to helping yourself. Zombies are Zen, they are pure and do not deviate. We can all learn a great deal by studying everything there is to know about zombies and trying to emulate them. Well, except for the eating of brains part.
But the idea here is to have the focus, the raw determination, the lack of concern for minor or even major details. All of it must be disposed of in the face of complete zombification.
This book discussed the 24 habits of highly effective zombies (which are the only kind there is), which include such genuine gems as this: be adaptable, be your own boss, remember its just stuff, and digging a grave? You've got it made!
The book also gives you a twelve step plan to complete zombification in 90 days. How you conquer your fears (and make those who you have feared in the past now fear you), playing it cool, letting go of your ego, and being in the zombie zone are all just a portion of the wisdom imparted between these pages.
This is a rollicking good book that lacks all inhibitions. The author is wise to the ways of zombies and plays it to the hilt here. He takes great pleasure in driving his point home with heaping handfuls of gruesome advice that had me laughing and nodding in agreement the whole way along.
If you are looking for a good laugh and an excellent self help guide at the same time, look no further, The Zen of Zombie is your answer.
Nothing can compare to becoming a zombie as a way to helping yourself. Zombies are Zen, they are pure and do not deviate. We can all learn a great deal by studying everything there is to know about zombies and trying to emulate them. Well, except for the eating of brains part.
But the idea here is to have the focus, the raw determination, the lack of concern for minor or even major details. All of it must be disposed of in the face of complete zombification.
This book discussed the 24 habits of highly effective zombies (which are the only kind there is), which include such genuine gems as this: be adaptable, be your own boss, remember its just stuff, and digging a grave? You've got it made!
The book also gives you a twelve step plan to complete zombification in 90 days. How you conquer your fears (and make those who you have feared in the past now fear you), playing it cool, letting go of your ego, and being in the zombie zone are all just a portion of the wisdom imparted between these pages.
This is a rollicking good book that lacks all inhibitions. The author is wise to the ways of zombies and plays it to the hilt here. He takes great pleasure in driving his point home with heaping handfuls of gruesome advice that had me laughing and nodding in agreement the whole way along.
If you are looking for a good laugh and an excellent self help guide at the same time, look no further, The Zen of Zombie is your answer.
November 19, 2012
He beats every joke to freaking death. Some parts are humorous, but each section could be edited down to one page.. sometimes even one paragraph. Like other people had mentioned, the style is also strange - he randomly goes into fratboy/gangster/frequent f-bomb speak, and gets a little too insulting at some points (I understand over-the-topness for effect, but when there's no punchline, why drag the insults in?). Also, the book never seems to end. You can't make the same meta-joke for this long of a book.
July 3, 2021
While it did make me laugh sometimes (especially at the beginning), I was ultimately disappointed by this book.
I was disappointed in general because the idea as such is a really good one but the way it is used and explored in this book really falls short. There is so much that could have been done and the zombie idea would serve well for a lot of both criticism and inspiration, but the focus of the book is so small-scale that some of its main points end up rather moot if not dangerous – in any case, definitely against anything Zen. I assume the latter is in the title for alliteration only.
Despite its repeated mentioning of zombies’ freedom and unbotheredness in regard to culture, society etc., the book does not get away from its embeddedness in capitalism and a (stereotypically US) perspective of violence and anti-empathy. It does not even seem aware of this.
In a chapter about not giving up, why would you focus on dragging yourself to work by bus if you car gets stolen? In a chapter about becoming aware of one’s own enculturation, why would you focus on killing your ‘enemy’ and ignoring traffic lights? In a chapter about being ‘zen-zombie’ at work, why would the recommendation be to become cold and only focus on oneself? etc.
It becomes obvious very quickly - in particular in the chapters about how to be a zombie at the job – that this is one of these books that tackle a number of complex social questions but seem to not be aware that there is such a thing as the social sciences that have been dealing with such questions for centuries. Instead, the reader is either told that these problems cannot be solved and/or presented with some ignorant business solution that is cringy to painful to read, in particular in a book that wants to position itself against any such superficiality.
I was also irritated by the book’s male-centered perspective. The reader is always assumed to be a (straight) man; women are mentioned sometimes but even then only in parentheses. The book was also not well edited; typos and comma mistakes abound. Also, it calls you a ‘lonely fatso’. Sigh.
I was disappointed in general because the idea as such is a really good one but the way it is used and explored in this book really falls short. There is so much that could have been done and the zombie idea would serve well for a lot of both criticism and inspiration, but the focus of the book is so small-scale that some of its main points end up rather moot if not dangerous – in any case, definitely against anything Zen. I assume the latter is in the title for alliteration only.
Despite its repeated mentioning of zombies’ freedom and unbotheredness in regard to culture, society etc., the book does not get away from its embeddedness in capitalism and a (stereotypically US) perspective of violence and anti-empathy. It does not even seem aware of this.
In a chapter about not giving up, why would you focus on dragging yourself to work by bus if you car gets stolen? In a chapter about becoming aware of one’s own enculturation, why would you focus on killing your ‘enemy’ and ignoring traffic lights? In a chapter about being ‘zen-zombie’ at work, why would the recommendation be to become cold and only focus on oneself? etc.
It becomes obvious very quickly - in particular in the chapters about how to be a zombie at the job – that this is one of these books that tackle a number of complex social questions but seem to not be aware that there is such a thing as the social sciences that have been dealing with such questions for centuries. Instead, the reader is either told that these problems cannot be solved and/or presented with some ignorant business solution that is cringy to painful to read, in particular in a book that wants to position itself against any such superficiality.
I was also irritated by the book’s male-centered perspective. The reader is always assumed to be a (straight) man; women are mentioned sometimes but even then only in parentheses. The book was also not well edited; typos and comma mistakes abound. Also, it calls you a ‘lonely fatso’. Sigh.
May 31, 2011
This unique self-help book has two part. First, the author reviews the 24 highly effective habits of zombies. Being patient, focusing on a task without distractions, choosing your own path in life, accepting who you are, and treating other people equally are just some of the ways in which the undead show their natural effectiveness and efficiency in dealing with the modern world. Seeing so many appealing aspects of a zombie's outlook on life leads naturally into the next part.
Second, the book provides a 90 day program to achieve a zombie-like state without the inconvenience of being bitten, irradiated, or cursed by some master of the dark arts. Going step by step through various key ways a zombie behaves, the reader is encourage to retrain their reactions to situations in life and to deal with life in a more zombie-like fashion. Consider week 1: the reader is instructed to make a list of things which he or she fears and things that fear him or her. A true zombie fears nothing. And most everything else fears it. By keeping a journal of both categories, the reader moves items from the "I fear it" category over to the "it fears me" category by imagining how to reverse the fear (weirdos on the street aren't so scary when you are even weirder to them!). By week 12, acting like a zombie goes into autopilot, i.e. the training becomes instinctual and you just do what a zombie does.
I found this book very entertaining. Having a mistrust of self-help books, I enjoyed how the author poked fun at the genre using a patently absurd goal, becoming a zombie, as the key to success in life. He described a lot of interesting ways zombies are highly effective people. Consider how zombies are completely non-discriminatory. Your skin's color or your ethnicity does nothing to do with the tastiness of your brain. By not focusing on irrelevant details, a zombie is much more efficient. Often the author adds sidebar comments that are fun bits of self-help humor, for example, "When life gives you lemons...use them to lay some kind of trap for a guy who likes lemons. Then you can eat his brain." (p. 104)
Being a Christian, I was a little nervous when the author explores how Jesus is like a zombie. He points out some basic facts: He came back from the dead; He raised other from the dead; His followers have spread by person to person contact exponentially across the face of the earth. The author recognizes he might be on thin ice with some people, but his comments are pretty innocuous and clearly meant for humor and not for offense. Personally, I didn't find it offensive, but I know people who would.
The book is a fun and diverting read.
Check out the rest of my review on my blog.
Second, the book provides a 90 day program to achieve a zombie-like state without the inconvenience of being bitten, irradiated, or cursed by some master of the dark arts. Going step by step through various key ways a zombie behaves, the reader is encourage to retrain their reactions to situations in life and to deal with life in a more zombie-like fashion. Consider week 1: the reader is instructed to make a list of things which he or she fears and things that fear him or her. A true zombie fears nothing. And most everything else fears it. By keeping a journal of both categories, the reader moves items from the "I fear it" category over to the "it fears me" category by imagining how to reverse the fear (weirdos on the street aren't so scary when you are even weirder to them!). By week 12, acting like a zombie goes into autopilot, i.e. the training becomes instinctual and you just do what a zombie does.
I found this book very entertaining. Having a mistrust of self-help books, I enjoyed how the author poked fun at the genre using a patently absurd goal, becoming a zombie, as the key to success in life. He described a lot of interesting ways zombies are highly effective people. Consider how zombies are completely non-discriminatory. Your skin's color or your ethnicity does nothing to do with the tastiness of your brain. By not focusing on irrelevant details, a zombie is much more efficient. Often the author adds sidebar comments that are fun bits of self-help humor, for example, "When life gives you lemons...use them to lay some kind of trap for a guy who likes lemons. Then you can eat his brain." (p. 104)
Being a Christian, I was a little nervous when the author explores how Jesus is like a zombie. He points out some basic facts: He came back from the dead; He raised other from the dead; His followers have spread by person to person contact exponentially across the face of the earth. The author recognizes he might be on thin ice with some people, but his comments are pretty innocuous and clearly meant for humor and not for offense. Personally, I didn't find it offensive, but I know people who would.
The book is a fun and diverting read.
Check out the rest of my review on my blog.
September 27, 2011
When I first picked this up I didn't really know what to expect. In many ways this book of course goes against the teachings and practice of zen, yet at the end of every hilarious, curse riddled tip is a great Zen point. I think it's a great way to introduce Zen to those who find the traditional ways boring or maybe too religious. Kenemore lays it out in a fun, and awesome way. Great read.
November 6, 2012
Forget like a boss, and do it like a zombie! A zombie would eat a boss. I thought this was a fun way to breakdown all those self-help/motivation tips that anyone who has ever read a self-help/motivation book ever is well aware of. And while I'm not ready to apply the Zen of Zombie to my life (since it clearly works best for unlife)I am able to appreciate the humorous implications.
February 5, 2017
The joke died pretty quickly. Racist and sexist in some parts. Not even that clever. Funny idea for an article, not a whole book.
September 19, 2017
I would have loved this book if it wasn't for the casual homophobia, transphobia, and misogyny.
April 28, 2021
Do you enjoy "literature" written by a frat boy? If you can answer yes to this question, then this might be a good fit. It is painfully juvenile and unsophisticated. I get that Kenemore was trying to convey an easy, conversational tone, but for me lines like "Zombies have your back, bruh." make this a conversation I would never want to actually have. Let's assume, for the sake of making this micro-review a bit longer, that you find this particular, er, gauche to your liking, you then have the hurdles of casual misogyny and homophobia. Fine, you say, I'm down with a little good old fashioned chauvinism and sexism sprinkled in with the graceless and unpolished prose. Ah, but then there is the editing. Or rather, lack of editing. Perhaps Kenemore's particular zombies don't care to answer the question of how to unravel the their/they're/there quandary. Maybe his zombies edited his book. Still, you say, I only care about funny. I want funny zombies. Read the first chapter. You'll get a few laughs. After that...no. Kenemore just beats you over the head with the same few jokes over and over and over. Still not a deal killer? You like endless repetition and monotony? You have kids and they tell you the same knock-knock jokes all day, every day and you enjoy it? That still leaves the premise: being a zombie. Sorry, I don't want to /be/ a zombie. I want to be the survivor killing the zombies. I can understand wanting to be a vampire, a werewolf, an elf (Drow of course, because those sylvan elves are just weak.), an ogre, a shambling swamp creature, but no one wants to be a zombie... In conclusion, if I could unread this book I would.
November 5, 2022
Alright, not exactly what I was expecting. I read this many moons ago, in high school. I thought I was getting something like the Tao of Pooh.
It is not. It’s a very silly parody of self-help books. Sure, there’s some good advice in there, but that’s because anything vague enough can be good advice in general. That’s the very problem with self help books that he’s making fun of here.
It’s a fun read, though like everything else from 2005, it has not aged well (like a zombie).
If you give this to anyone born after 1996, they will not get the jokes, and they will not enjoy it. So don’t buy it for your kid. Maybe for your libertarian dad who likes zombie movies.
Also, wish somebody had TOLD me it was parody when I read it in high school. Acting like a zombie for a month DID NOT get me a prom date.
It is not. It’s a very silly parody of self-help books. Sure, there’s some good advice in there, but that’s because anything vague enough can be good advice in general. That’s the very problem with self help books that he’s making fun of here.
It’s a fun read, though like everything else from 2005, it has not aged well (like a zombie).
If you give this to anyone born after 1996, they will not get the jokes, and they will not enjoy it. So don’t buy it for your kid. Maybe for your libertarian dad who likes zombie movies.
Also, wish somebody had TOLD me it was parody when I read it in high school. Acting like a zombie for a month DID NOT get me a prom date.
March 4, 2017
(3.0) So this book has its funny lines and is overall enjoyable. However it is hard to tell if it is being funny or is trying to be a self help book. It kind of goes both ways I guess. Also ( I knew this going into it from the person who lent me the book thank goodness) That this book is how to live like a zombie (scarily I check a lot of the boxes for already being a zombie it turns out) but has nothing to do with surviving a zombie world. Also they constantly talk about zombie going after brains, where nowadays it seems that zombies just crave flesh, not just the brains. In the end this is a quick read and has some funny parts and actually has some good points as well.
November 23, 2017
Not nearly as funny as you'd think. Like the general tone was what I was expecting, that the author was writing it as if he were 100% serious, and that he was poking a little fun at other self help books, but the contents therein rarely struck me as funny or even.....interesting. like it was "Yes, this is actual logical in this context" but the way it was presented was not as.....over the top as it thought it should be. And I guess that it just wasn't the author's intention and I can tell that at least quite a bit of thought was put in to the contents, but I just didn't find it all that entertaining.
February 5, 2018
Funny and interesting parody of self-help books but with a surprising amount of wisdom and wit. Not be read at once sitting but rather, to savor, ponder and enjoy. The first of two sections is the funniest and astute, the second hit-or-miss. The mix of wisdom and zombie characteristics is brilliant.
March 5, 2019
Kenemore's very tongue in "enlightened" (and rotting) cheek satire of how the zombie essentially is one of the most existential beings is truly hilarious. As a person who has read many a self-help and meditation tale, this one hit home like a shot to the brain and I recommend it for those among us who would like a different view of how to quiet our brains and live a more zen existence.
June 17, 2019
It took me forever to read this book and it's actually not long at all. The novelty of a zombie self help book wore off rather quickly for me. I did have some laughs here and there but it did not hold my interest for long.
March 19, 2020
Just trash. Don't even bother with it. I bought it because I like zombies and was completely disappointed with the overdone humor, dumb sexist , and egotistical "habits." Probably gonna throw this book away considering no one should have to read this trash.
December 27, 2020
Phenomenal. So clear, concise and accurate! Loved every lesson because each one is important. I also participated in the journal exercises and it really does help with how I journey through my day as a zombie. Definitely proud that this book is in my collection.
August 20, 2021
It was a quirky self help book. All I could think about was ZOMBIES 🧟♂️. Interesting enough the pictures in the book kept my attention. Over the book just had me thinking of zombies period regardless of the book being a self help book.
May 11, 2022
I read the only to read a Z book for an a to a reading challenge. My rating is based on how the book was written, not how much I enjoyed it as I didn't enjoy it. It explores some good points in instructing us how to live zombie like meaning more peaceful, determined, non prejudicial, etc....
August 18, 2022
Mildly amusing. Very repetitive. As comic "self help" guides go, this was not the best. I would recommend Kathleen Meyer's "How to shit in the woods", or for a New Zealand example "Way of the Jafa" over this parody of self help.
December 30, 2023
It starts strong but gets old very fast. The humor is a little repetitive and shallow. I will say I read it for laughs and it had a couple good bits of good advice in it. That being said it isn't worth buying if you can get it from the library.
May 23, 2019
Couldn’t get through it. Awful.
August 28, 2020
Audiobook
October 14, 2020
I didn't love it, but this was a fairly quick amusing read/listen. I learned that zombies are less stressed, like safety in numbers, don't really negotiate, and are relatively happy creatures.
November 30, 2020
Not as cute nor funny as you might hope. The art work neither. DNF.
March 24, 2021
The Zen of Zombie wasn’t a bad read. It had a few laughs but in the end it’s a basic leadership/motivational themed book with a zombie skin slapped on it.
August 15, 2021
Its a silly although fun book to scan over when you need a little Zen and flesh eating in your life.
December 31, 2021
This is an extremely funny and entertaining book laced with some practical advice if you care to dig in and find it. It was a great, mindless read for bed. I thoroughly enjoyed it.
Displaying 1 - 30 of 122 reviews