What do you think?
Rate this book
The First Time I Saw Her: Book One of the Gossamer and Pitch Trilogy
Anna and her mother are on the run after a tragedy shatters their world. A stranger has offered them protection in a private community hidden deep in the woods, and Anna and her mother have no choice but to abandon their life and belongings to take refuge until they can figure out their next move. But the woman who helped them may not be what she seems, and the safe-haven community has its own secrets ... and its own dangers. Anna is no ordinary girl, though. She can perceive things others cannot, impossible things. Now thrust into an unfamiliar setting with horrors unfolding all around her, Anna must figure out what she is and what she is capable of before she loses what little she has left of her life. THE FIRST TIME I SAW HER is the first installment in the Gossamer and Pitch Trilogy, a series about love and hate, witches and demons, and the sheer veil between life and death.
- GenresHorror
396 pages, Paperback
Published June 15, 2023
38 people want to read
Ratings & Reviews
Friends & Following
Create a free account to discover what your friends think of this book!
Community Reviews
Displaying 1 - 16 of 16 reviews
November 9, 2024
This is an horrifying blood drenched novel which deals with witches, demons, and other unimaginable creatures. It leaves you hanging on the edge as you read and compels you to keep turning the pages well into the night.
Anna is twelve years old when her and her mother are forced to seek refuge at a community deep in the woods due to a horrific event.
Allison owns and runs the community. And it soon becomes apparent that she is more evil than good. But with nowhere else to go, Anna and her mother do their best to get along.
Anna's mother is a witch and Anna sees...things. Horrific things. Unspeakable atrocities. What happens there is absolutely chilling and will have you wincing inside.
The author does an outstanding job at bringing the horrors to life. A combination of extreme and body horror mixed into the world of witches and demons, the unrelenting pace and pulse pounding narrative never lets up until the last disturbing secret is revealed.
This one is a banger and I highly recommend it.
I received a copy of this book from the publisher. This review is voluntary and is my own personal opinion.
Anna is twelve years old when her and her mother are forced to seek refuge at a community deep in the woods due to a horrific event.
Allison owns and runs the community. And it soon becomes apparent that she is more evil than good. But with nowhere else to go, Anna and her mother do their best to get along.
Anna's mother is a witch and Anna sees...things. Horrific things. Unspeakable atrocities. What happens there is absolutely chilling and will have you wincing inside.
The author does an outstanding job at bringing the horrors to life. A combination of extreme and body horror mixed into the world of witches and demons, the unrelenting pace and pulse pounding narrative never lets up until the last disturbing secret is revealed.
This one is a banger and I highly recommend it.
I received a copy of this book from the publisher. This review is voluntary and is my own personal opinion.
November 26, 2024
This is a compelling coming-of-age novel that delves into themes of good and evil, mental illness, balance, life, death, and supernatural phenomena. Anna and her mother flee to a secluded community in the woods after a tragic event, only to find themselves entangled in a web of secrets and dangers. Anna, with her unique ability to perceive things others cannot, must navigate this chilling new reality while coming to terms with her identity.
I enjoyed the concept of strong, intelligent women at the center of the story, and the exploration of complex themes was well done. However, the pacing dragged at times, which took away from some of the momentum. Despite that, the combination of witchcraft, demons, and a foreboding atmosphere created a memorable narrative.
If you enjoy novels with a balance of dark themes and supernatural intrigue, this is worth picking up.
Thanks to HellBounds for this book!
I enjoyed the concept of strong, intelligent women at the center of the story, and the exploration of complex themes was well done. However, the pacing dragged at times, which took away from some of the momentum. Despite that, the combination of witchcraft, demons, and a foreboding atmosphere created a memorable narrative.
If you enjoy novels with a balance of dark themes and supernatural intrigue, this is worth picking up.
Thanks to HellBounds for this book!
Read
December 16, 2024After some cozier reads last month, I’ve been in the mood for some horror fiction. The First Time I Saw Her by Jae Mazer was a great and disturbing return to the genre.
This coming-of-age horror story reminded me of Angela Carter’s The Bloody Chamber if you turn up the horror and dark fantasy elements to an eleven. I was immediately drawn into the story, and as the mysteries unfolded, I was impressed by the mounting unease and Mazer’s descriptive writing.
While it’s difficult to discuss the story in too much detail without spoiling plot points, I will say that I found the ghosts and the ghouls very striking, and I loved how these elements were woven into the story. I mean, who doesn’t want a bloody headless ghost as a childhood best friend?
As far as the blood and gore are concerned, I thought there was a nice and disturbing escalation from start to finish. I’ll never look at squirrels the same way again. 😂 That being said, there were a few scenes toward the end of the book involving children and sexual violence that were too much for me. It’s a topic I avoid in my horror reading and writing, but it is something that unfortunately happens every day in the real world, this is a horror story, and I never felt the story fell into disrespectful or sensational territory. It was just higher than my personal tolerance.
Overall, I loved the world Mazer created, and I’m excited to see how the characters and story develop in the next two books.
Thank you HellBound Books for giving me the chance to read this one.
This coming-of-age horror story reminded me of Angela Carter’s The Bloody Chamber if you turn up the horror and dark fantasy elements to an eleven. I was immediately drawn into the story, and as the mysteries unfolded, I was impressed by the mounting unease and Mazer’s descriptive writing.
While it’s difficult to discuss the story in too much detail without spoiling plot points, I will say that I found the ghosts and the ghouls very striking, and I loved how these elements were woven into the story. I mean, who doesn’t want a bloody headless ghost as a childhood best friend?
As far as the blood and gore are concerned, I thought there was a nice and disturbing escalation from start to finish. I’ll never look at squirrels the same way again. 😂 That being said, there were a few scenes toward the end of the book involving children and sexual violence that were too much for me. It’s a topic I avoid in my horror reading and writing, but it is something that unfortunately happens every day in the real world, this is a horror story, and I never felt the story fell into disrespectful or sensational territory. It was just higher than my personal tolerance.
Overall, I loved the world Mazer created, and I’m excited to see how the characters and story develop in the next two books.
Thank you HellBound Books for giving me the chance to read this one.
September 30, 2025
The First Time I Saw Her was… an experience.
Anna and her mum escape their hometown, running from a terrible tragedy that haunts them. But the new town they settle in isn’t quite what it seems.
I can’t say TOO much without giving spoilers, but let me just start with this: Jae Mazer, do you need help? Blink once, twice, or just don’t say anything at all. To live inside your head for a single day would be a TRIP, I’m sure.
I ate this book up (no pun intended 👀). It’s dark, twisted, and I couldn’t put it down. The only reason I landed at 3.5 stars instead of higher is because I went in blind—no trigger warnings, nothing. There are a few things that really threw me: slight mentions of animals being hurt (not abused, but still unsettling), and toward the end, there’s a heavier focus on children in ways I personally found tough to read.
That said, this book has everything, demons, witches, ghosts, and a mix of supernatural madness in between. It’s disgusting, grim, completely unhinged… and yet the story is genuinely good. Also, can we talk about Old Man Merle? Why did I think he was the cutest thing ever? Even with “mini Merle” constantly on display (if you know, you know), I weirdly adored him.
If you like your reads dark, sinister, confusing in the best way, and just a little terrifying, this one’s for you. Jae Mazer is a fantastic storyteller-messed up? Absolutely. But compelling? 100%. Will I ever look at a squirrel the same way again? No. Am I excited to see where this series goes next? Definitely.
Bravo, Jae. You grossed me out, and I loved it.
Anna and her mum escape their hometown, running from a terrible tragedy that haunts them. But the new town they settle in isn’t quite what it seems.
I can’t say TOO much without giving spoilers, but let me just start with this: Jae Mazer, do you need help? Blink once, twice, or just don’t say anything at all. To live inside your head for a single day would be a TRIP, I’m sure.
I ate this book up (no pun intended 👀). It’s dark, twisted, and I couldn’t put it down. The only reason I landed at 3.5 stars instead of higher is because I went in blind—no trigger warnings, nothing. There are a few things that really threw me: slight mentions of animals being hurt (not abused, but still unsettling), and toward the end, there’s a heavier focus on children in ways I personally found tough to read.
That said, this book has everything, demons, witches, ghosts, and a mix of supernatural madness in between. It’s disgusting, grim, completely unhinged… and yet the story is genuinely good. Also, can we talk about Old Man Merle? Why did I think he was the cutest thing ever? Even with “mini Merle” constantly on display (if you know, you know), I weirdly adored him.
If you like your reads dark, sinister, confusing in the best way, and just a little terrifying, this one’s for you. Jae Mazer is a fantastic storyteller-messed up? Absolutely. But compelling? 100%. Will I ever look at a squirrel the same way again? No. Am I excited to see where this series goes next? Definitely.
Bravo, Jae. You grossed me out, and I loved it.
December 2, 2024
The First Time I Saw Her was a deeply dark and twisted story that still managed to be surprisingly tender. I was pulled in right from the first page, and remained invested until the very end.
The ghosts sounded absolutely terrifying. However, they became sources of comfort and safety for the main character, Anna, which was really sweet. This element of the story reminded me a bit of My Darling Dreadful Thing, which I loved.
I also really enjoyed Eden’s Edge as the setting for the story. It was a secluded, off-the-map community that was deeply unsettling right from the start. That feeling only intensified as I learned more about it, which added another level of suspense to the book.
What prevented it from being a five-star read was that some of the horror elements felt too weird or off-the-wall for me. I also wasn’t a fan of all the mentions about people’s nether regions 😅🫣😫.
Thank you so much to Hellbound Books for the opportunity to read a complimentary copy of this book!
Read if you like:
✨Graphic horror
✨Witchy reads
✨Secluded settings
✨Single POV storylines
✨My Darling Dreadful Thing
The ghosts sounded absolutely terrifying. However, they became sources of comfort and safety for the main character, Anna, which was really sweet. This element of the story reminded me a bit of My Darling Dreadful Thing, which I loved.
I also really enjoyed Eden’s Edge as the setting for the story. It was a secluded, off-the-map community that was deeply unsettling right from the start. That feeling only intensified as I learned more about it, which added another level of suspense to the book.
What prevented it from being a five-star read was that some of the horror elements felt too weird or off-the-wall for me. I also wasn’t a fan of all the mentions about people’s nether regions 😅🫣😫.
Thank you so much to Hellbound Books for the opportunity to read a complimentary copy of this book!
Read if you like:
✨Graphic horror
✨Witchy reads
✨Secluded settings
✨Single POV storylines
✨My Darling Dreadful Thing
January 10, 2025
🥀Zirdo ol. Zirdo ge. Ol Trian🥀
Have you ever read something that takes you aback that you have to reread to make sure that was what you thought you read? Yeah, this book made me do it several times.
I went in semi blind, only knowing whatever the first few lines of the synopsis show, that way, I'm not influenced by others' opinions and reviews, its usually how I like to read books. And when I tell you when I thought I was reading a domestic mystery/thriller with a hint of supernatural and then just like that, the rug was pulled under my feet, and I didn't know what the hell I was reading, in the most exciting way!
It's got magic, witches, demons, domestic drama, friendship, thrilling mystery, coming of age, and a new friend(s). As well as extreme horror/splatterpunk and lots of triggers. So please, if you intend to read this one, check those first.
It had everything I didn't know I needed.
I highly recommend this one if you enjoy a good coming of age with a lot of horror and gore!
Can't wait to see where the next two books take me!
I want to thank Hellbound Books for sending me this e-book to read and give my honest review. It was a hell of a ride!
Have you ever read something that takes you aback that you have to reread to make sure that was what you thought you read? Yeah, this book made me do it several times.
I went in semi blind, only knowing whatever the first few lines of the synopsis show, that way, I'm not influenced by others' opinions and reviews, its usually how I like to read books. And when I tell you when I thought I was reading a domestic mystery/thriller with a hint of supernatural and then just like that, the rug was pulled under my feet, and I didn't know what the hell I was reading, in the most exciting way!
It's got magic, witches, demons, domestic drama, friendship, thrilling mystery, coming of age, and a new friend(s). As well as extreme horror/splatterpunk and lots of triggers. So please, if you intend to read this one, check those first.
It had everything I didn't know I needed.
I highly recommend this one if you enjoy a good coming of age with a lot of horror and gore!
Can't wait to see where the next two books take me!
I want to thank Hellbound Books for sending me this e-book to read and give my honest review. It was a hell of a ride!
June 30, 2025
Jae Mazer's "The First Time I saw her" Review ⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️ Horrific and Beautiful! A splatter horror that mets with a coming of age story of Anna, a creepy kid who's companions are 'New friend' a headless girl and Old Man Merle a tall decomposed goul who company her in finding out who or rather what she is.
I loved that the story didn't over fixate on gore to a ridiculous level. There certainly are some extremely bloody and gory moments, but they are relevant, and while horrific, they aren't unnecessary.
The characters are deep, warm and raw, while others are vile, disgusting excuses of oxygen meat sacks. Jae currently does know how to build a strong protagonist and an awful antagonist.
There was the most beautiful witch lore moment at the end of the story that, while sad, it just filled my heart with love and really did bring one of the deeper meanings of the story to a whole.
And Miss Mojo...what a legand! I adored her!
I do recommend you check out possible triggers if you are feeling particularly sensitive ✨️
I loved that the story didn't over fixate on gore to a ridiculous level. There certainly are some extremely bloody and gory moments, but they are relevant, and while horrific, they aren't unnecessary.
The characters are deep, warm and raw, while others are vile, disgusting excuses of oxygen meat sacks. Jae currently does know how to build a strong protagonist and an awful antagonist.
There was the most beautiful witch lore moment at the end of the story that, while sad, it just filled my heart with love and really did bring one of the deeper meanings of the story to a whole.
And Miss Mojo...what a legand! I adored her!
I do recommend you check out possible triggers if you are feeling particularly sensitive ✨️
July 8, 2025
I will preface this by saying it’s the darkest, most brutal, gory descriptive horrible book I’ve ever read. And I couldn’t stop. I loved Anna. Such youthful naïveté combined with such horror. There are dead people, demons, witches, abominations. There are tearing galore - child death, child rape (not described in detail but not hinted at either). This was a real what the fuck book for me - but it was really well written and drew me in, making me care about the characters (even though they are insane murderers)
Thank you to hell bound books for sending me this book and the follow up -which is next on my list!!
Thank you to hell bound books for sending me this book and the follow up -which is next on my list!!
July 24, 2023
Vivid, terrifying tale of a young girl finding her power in a mysterious community peppered with witches, ghosts, demons, & true human evil. Well-crafted horror featuring strong female characters. Not for the faint of heart, but a compelling read for the loyal horror fan. Looking forward to the next book in the series.
December 21, 2024
If you're a fan of dark, atmospheric horror, fear, gore, and the unknown, then this book is an absolute must read! It's perfect for those who crave a good scare, with a side of psychological torment. I give this book a 5/5 and can't wait to read the next book in the series. Just be adviced: make sure you read the trigger warnings.
December 7, 2024
Gory, gruesome, and a splash of paranormal creates this book. Anna’s ‘new friend’ helps her guide through her new life and her and her mom move to a secluded cult-like community. As the days pass and more horrors are being made known, Anna tries to find out who she is.
January 7, 2025
If you only read one book this year, make it this one! Just finished The First Time I Saw Her by Jae Mazer. Whoa, this is one hellava read!! She knows how to write! It's one of the best 1st person pov scary, crazy stories I've ever read! Highly recommend, you will not be disappointed!
July 1, 2025
I really enjoyed this! The story line was so unique. it was definitely hard to put this down but you know, sleep and work. I read in 3 days. If you like paranormal, spooky stuff, gore, and a good mystery, pick this up!!! review coming on Instagram very soon!
December 4, 2024
This book had me hooked from the beginning! I still can’t believe Anna is only 12 and is still a sweet young girl after everything she goes through in this book, she is definitely a strong FMC! Anna knows there is something different about her because she can see things and her mom is a witch. They are forced to move to Allison’s community where they start to realize something strange is going on and Allison is not who she says she is. This book is chilling, filled with blood, witches, demons, creatures, etc. I loved how all of these aspects came to life and really worked together.
Thank you Hellbound Books for sending me a copy of this book! I am leaving this review voluntarily
Thank you Hellbound Books for sending me a copy of this book! I am leaving this review voluntarily
February 15, 2025
Loved it,such an unusual story and also a great twist at the end ,I flew through the book
December 16, 2025
**Please search for trigger/content warnings before reading**
This is a witchy, splatter meets coming-of-age horror story. Anna and her mother find themselves in an isolated community after fleeing from a tragic incident at home. This community seems like a safe haven, though very quickly Anna senses that something feels off about it.
This book has a slow burn plot. I don't mind slow pacing, as long as it stays engaging. I think this story did struggle with that at times, though it kept my interest enough to keep reading. It does get gory and twisted, sometimes in very... creative ways (the squirrel... iykyk..). Some of the content, especially later in the book, isn't quite my vibe, but the writing is solid, so I didn't hold that point against my rating. A feminine-centered coming-of-age is great to see in horror, and if you like your stories a little more on the gory end of things, I recommend checking this one out!
Thanks to HellBound Books for this review copy!
This is a witchy, splatter meets coming-of-age horror story. Anna and her mother find themselves in an isolated community after fleeing from a tragic incident at home. This community seems like a safe haven, though very quickly Anna senses that something feels off about it.
This book has a slow burn plot. I don't mind slow pacing, as long as it stays engaging. I think this story did struggle with that at times, though it kept my interest enough to keep reading. It does get gory and twisted, sometimes in very... creative ways (the squirrel... iykyk..). Some of the content, especially later in the book, isn't quite my vibe, but the writing is solid, so I didn't hold that point against my rating. A feminine-centered coming-of-age is great to see in horror, and if you like your stories a little more on the gory end of things, I recommend checking this one out!
Thanks to HellBound Books for this review copy!
Displaying 1 - 16 of 16 reviews