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The First Time I Saw Her: Book One of the Gossamer and Pitch Trilogy
Anna and her mother are on the run after a tragedy shatters their world. A stranger has offered them protection in a private community hidden deep in the woods, and Anna and her mother have no choice but to abandon their life and belongings to take refuge until they can figure out their next move. But the woman who helped them may not be what she seems, and the safe-haven community has its own secrets ... and its own dangers. Anna is no ordinary girl, though. She can perceive things others cannot, impossible things. Now thrust into an unfamiliar setting with horrors unfolding all around her, Anna must figure out what she is and what she is capable of before she loses what little she has left of her life. THE FIRST TIME I SAW HER is the first installment in the Gossamer and Pitch Trilogy, a series about love and hate, witches and demons, and the sheer veil between life and death.
- GenresHorror
396 pages, Paperback
Published June 15, 2023
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Displaying 1 - 30 of 42 reviews
April 30, 2024
What a diabolical coming of age story! Despite the main character’s youth, there are some extremely traumatic and horrifying events she goes through. This definitely isn’t a tale for children.
Anna and her mother flee after a crime to a sheltered commune in the forest. It’s too good to be true and the darkness and rot start to show through. Anna is also not like other girls, and as such everything becomes so much more complicated as she navigates horrors (supernatural and otherwise), entering womanhood, and trying to find out who/what she is.
This was certainly an intense and distressing read at times; one that really captivated my mind and put me in each moment and scene along with Anna. Jae Mazer definitely knows how to tell a tale, and the writing truly sucks you in.
Thank you to the author, NetGalley, and Last Waltz Publishing for a copy!
Anna and her mother flee after a crime to a sheltered commune in the forest. It’s too good to be true and the darkness and rot start to show through. Anna is also not like other girls, and as such everything becomes so much more complicated as she navigates horrors (supernatural and otherwise), entering womanhood, and trying to find out who/what she is.
This was certainly an intense and distressing read at times; one that really captivated my mind and put me in each moment and scene along with Anna. Jae Mazer definitely knows how to tell a tale, and the writing truly sucks you in.
Thank you to the author, NetGalley, and Last Waltz Publishing for a copy!
November 9, 2024
This is an horrifying blood drenched novel which deals with witches, demons, and other unimaginable creatures. It leaves you hanging on the edge as you read and compels you to keep turning the pages well into the night.
Anna is twelve years old when her and her mother are forced to seek refuge at a community deep in the woods due to a horrific event.
Allison owns and runs the community. And it soon becomes apparent that she is more evil than good. But with nowhere else to go, Anna and her mother do their best to get along.
Anna's mother is a witch and Anna sees...things. Horrific things. Unspeakable atrocities. What happens there is absolutely chilling and will have you wincing inside.
The author does an outstanding job at bringing the horrors to life. A combination of extreme and body horror mixed into the world of witches and demons, the unrelenting pace and pulse pounding narrative never lets up until the last disturbing secret is revealed.
This one is a banger and I highly recommend it.
I received a copy of this book from the publisher. This review is voluntary and is my own personal opinion.
Anna is twelve years old when her and her mother are forced to seek refuge at a community deep in the woods due to a horrific event.
Allison owns and runs the community. And it soon becomes apparent that she is more evil than good. But with nowhere else to go, Anna and her mother do their best to get along.
Anna's mother is a witch and Anna sees...things. Horrific things. Unspeakable atrocities. What happens there is absolutely chilling and will have you wincing inside.
The author does an outstanding job at bringing the horrors to life. A combination of extreme and body horror mixed into the world of witches and demons, the unrelenting pace and pulse pounding narrative never lets up until the last disturbing secret is revealed.
This one is a banger and I highly recommend it.
I received a copy of this book from the publisher. This review is voluntary and is my own personal opinion.
November 26, 2024
This is a compelling coming-of-age novel that delves into themes of good and evil, mental illness, balance, life, death, and supernatural phenomena. Anna and her mother flee to a secluded community in the woods after a tragic event, only to find themselves entangled in a web of secrets and dangers. Anna, with her unique ability to perceive things others cannot, must navigate this chilling new reality while coming to terms with her identity.
I enjoyed the concept of strong, intelligent women at the center of the story, and the exploration of complex themes was well done. However, the pacing dragged at times, which took away from some of the momentum. Despite that, the combination of witchcraft, demons, and a foreboding atmosphere created a memorable narrative.
If you enjoy novels with a balance of dark themes and supernatural intrigue, this is worth picking up.
Thanks to HellBounds for this book!
I enjoyed the concept of strong, intelligent women at the center of the story, and the exploration of complex themes was well done. However, the pacing dragged at times, which took away from some of the momentum. Despite that, the combination of witchcraft, demons, and a foreboding atmosphere created a memorable narrative.
If you enjoy novels with a balance of dark themes and supernatural intrigue, this is worth picking up.
Thanks to HellBounds for this book!
July 15, 2025
3.75-4 ⭐️
Disclaimer: I was sent a free epub copy by the publisher in exchange for an honest review.
Wowza! Right off the bat, I want to say that the the way Anna's "episodes", her panic attacks are written, it is super well done, accurate. Though there is more to it in Anna's case, I could not help but empathize with her while the world around her is seemingly imploding and she finds it a struggle to breathe.
I loved the cast of characters. Anna, her mom, New Friend, Merle, Liza, Laz, Miss Mojo, etc. They felt warm, welcoming. True friends.
The writing style is also quite nice! I'm a sucker for good prose and this definitely hooked me. I found myself highlighting a lot of the book simply for the way things were described!
That said, there were a few things that left me wanting more or feeling unsatisfied.
Anna felt too old. She is described in the beginning of the novel as being 12 years old, however much of the way she speaks/acts/seems to have knowledge of left me with the impression of someone much older, over 18. The youngest id place her is 16. But definitely not 12. And maybe I'm wrong, but she just didn’t feel 12.
There are many parts of this book that felt rushed.
This said, it was an enjoyable read! I felt choked up at the end, disgusted to watch these kids undergo such trauma. It moved me! It spoke to me and I understood. Definitely worth a read. Please read trigger warnings! This book deals with some rough topics.
Disclaimer: I was sent a free epub copy by the publisher in exchange for an honest review.
Wowza! Right off the bat, I want to say that the the way Anna's "episodes", her panic attacks are written, it is super well done, accurate. Though there is more to it in Anna's case, I could not help but empathize with her while the world around her is seemingly imploding and she finds it a struggle to breathe.
I loved the cast of characters. Anna, her mom, New Friend, Merle, Liza, Laz, Miss Mojo, etc. They felt warm, welcoming. True friends.
The writing style is also quite nice! I'm a sucker for good prose and this definitely hooked me. I found myself highlighting a lot of the book simply for the way things were described!
That said, there were a few things that left me wanting more or feeling unsatisfied.
Anna felt too old. She is described in the beginning of the novel as being 12 years old, however much of the way she speaks/acts/seems to have knowledge of left me with the impression of someone much older, over 18. The youngest id place her is 16. But definitely not 12. And maybe I'm wrong, but she just didn’t feel 12.
There are many parts of this book that felt rushed.
This said, it was an enjoyable read! I felt choked up at the end, disgusted to watch these kids undergo such trauma. It moved me! It spoke to me and I understood. Definitely worth a read. Please read trigger warnings! This book deals with some rough topics.
July 28, 2025
**"An unforgettable plunge into the beautiful and the grotesque."**
I picked up *The First Time I Saw Her* without knowing what to expect and now I can’t stop thinking about it. I’d never even heard of the term “splatterfolk” before this book, but consider me officially obsessed. It's like if folk horror and gothic romance had a lovechild... and then that child grew up listening to murder ballads in a haunted forest.
From the very first page, the atmosphere gripped me. It’s dark, lyrical, eerie, and absolutely soaked in blood and longing. The prose is gorgeously lush and visceral, and the worldbuilding is just twisted enough to keep you constantly on edge. There’s something deeply mythic and mournful about the way the story unfolds, and yet it still feels incredibly fresh.
The characters were another standout. Complex, raw, sometimes monstrous, but always compelling. And the central relationship? Let’s just say it haunts you in the best way.
This book was a gateway drug, and now I’m desperately hunting down anything else remotely splatterfolk. If you’re into unsettling fairytales, rural horror, and slow-burning madness wrapped in poetry then this is the book for you! now on to book 2 !
I picked up *The First Time I Saw Her* without knowing what to expect and now I can’t stop thinking about it. I’d never even heard of the term “splatterfolk” before this book, but consider me officially obsessed. It's like if folk horror and gothic romance had a lovechild... and then that child grew up listening to murder ballads in a haunted forest.
From the very first page, the atmosphere gripped me. It’s dark, lyrical, eerie, and absolutely soaked in blood and longing. The prose is gorgeously lush and visceral, and the worldbuilding is just twisted enough to keep you constantly on edge. There’s something deeply mythic and mournful about the way the story unfolds, and yet it still feels incredibly fresh.
The characters were another standout. Complex, raw, sometimes monstrous, but always compelling. And the central relationship? Let’s just say it haunts you in the best way.
This book was a gateway drug, and now I’m desperately hunting down anything else remotely splatterfolk. If you’re into unsettling fairytales, rural horror, and slow-burning madness wrapped in poetry then this is the book for you! now on to book 2 !
June 15, 2023
Bibliophilia Templum Review
https://bibliophiliatemplum.wordpress.com/2023/06/15/the-first-time-i-saw-her/
The First Time I Saw Her is a dark and engrossing novel by Jae Mazer. The story flows with compelling suspense, intensity, and a supernatural element rooted in folklore, skillfully woven attributes Mazer is known for. But there are also poignant elements of horror and brutality throughout. It lays hold of both your mind and your guts.
Jae Mazer’s skill with characters and characterization knows no bounds in this one. The vivid characters, character interactions, and dialogue are exceptional for a first-person point of view novel, and I am hard-pressed to think of a first-person point of view story with such intrigue, suspense, and imagery.
The First Time I Saw Her is a poignant, brutal, and truly riveting tale and a highly recommended, shelf-worthy read.
https://bibliophiliatemplum.wordpress.com/2023/06/15/the-first-time-i-saw-her/
The First Time I Saw Her is a dark and engrossing novel by Jae Mazer. The story flows with compelling suspense, intensity, and a supernatural element rooted in folklore, skillfully woven attributes Mazer is known for. But there are also poignant elements of horror and brutality throughout. It lays hold of both your mind and your guts.
Jae Mazer’s skill with characters and characterization knows no bounds in this one. The vivid characters, character interactions, and dialogue are exceptional for a first-person point of view novel, and I am hard-pressed to think of a first-person point of view story with such intrigue, suspense, and imagery.
The First Time I Saw Her is a poignant, brutal, and truly riveting tale and a highly recommended, shelf-worthy read.
October 2, 2024
Bibliophilia Templum review
https://bibliophiliatemplum.wordpress.com/
The First Time I Saw Her is a dark and engrossing novel by Jae Mazer. The story flows with compelling suspense, intensity, and a supernatural element rooted in folklore, skillfully woven attributes Mazer is known for. But there are also poignant elements of horror and brutality throughout. It lays hold of both your mind and your guts.
Jae Mazer’s skill with characters and characterization knows no bounds in this one. The vivid characters, character interactions, and dialogue are exceptional for a first-person point of view novel, and I am hard-pressed to think of a first-person point of view story with such intrigue, suspense, and imagery.
The First Time I Saw Her is a poignant, brutal, and truly riveting tale and a highly recommended, shelf-worthy read.
https://bibliophiliatemplum.wordpress.com/
The First Time I Saw Her is a dark and engrossing novel by Jae Mazer. The story flows with compelling suspense, intensity, and a supernatural element rooted in folklore, skillfully woven attributes Mazer is known for. But there are also poignant elements of horror and brutality throughout. It lays hold of both your mind and your guts.
Jae Mazer’s skill with characters and characterization knows no bounds in this one. The vivid characters, character interactions, and dialogue are exceptional for a first-person point of view novel, and I am hard-pressed to think of a first-person point of view story with such intrigue, suspense, and imagery.
The First Time I Saw Her is a poignant, brutal, and truly riveting tale and a highly recommended, shelf-worthy read.
May 27, 2024
I just finished reading by Jae Mazer, and I liked it. Following Anna, the young FMC, through a unique, creative world filled with witches, demons, ghosts, and murderers. The story begins with Anna and her mom on the run, leading to a strange village where dark secrets lurk beneath a facade of kindness.
The writing is often poetic and vividly detailed, making each scene come alive. While some descriptions were a bit over the top, the writing kept me hooked with its mystery and horror elements. This intense, story is a great start to the Gossamer and Pitch trilogy. I can't wait to read more from Jae Mazer. Thank you, Netgalley for the ARC.
The writing is often poetic and vividly detailed, making each scene come alive. While some descriptions were a bit over the top, the writing kept me hooked with its mystery and horror elements. This intense, story is a great start to the Gossamer and Pitch trilogy. I can't wait to read more from Jae Mazer. Thank you, Netgalley for the ARC.
December 19, 2024
3.5 stars for me!
Witches, demons and murder. What isn’t to love?! It’s a book that really keeps you guessing and can’t help but turn the pages! Main character is such a champ - I loved her so much. Headstrong, passionate and fearless character that I can’t wait to see how she develops these traits in books to come.
I knocked the rating down a tad, purely because I felt there were a couple plot holes that didn’t make sense to me towards the end and perhaps some kind of trigger warning due to the nature of abuse regarding children. It was not a comfortable read - aside from that. Thoroughly enjoyed and will most definitely be reading more from this author.
Witches, demons and murder. What isn’t to love?! It’s a book that really keeps you guessing and can’t help but turn the pages! Main character is such a champ - I loved her so much. Headstrong, passionate and fearless character that I can’t wait to see how she develops these traits in books to come.
I knocked the rating down a tad, purely because I felt there were a couple plot holes that didn’t make sense to me towards the end and perhaps some kind of trigger warning due to the nature of abuse regarding children. It was not a comfortable read - aside from that. Thoroughly enjoyed and will most definitely be reading more from this author.
July 9, 2025
I will preface this by saying it’s the darkest, most brutal, gory descriptive horrible book I’ve ever read. And I couldn’t stop. I loved Anna. Such youthful naïveté combined with such horror. There are dead people, demons, witches, abominations. There are tearing galore - child death, child rape (not described in detail but not hinted at either). This was a real what the fuck book for me - but it was really well written and drew me in, making me care about the characters (even though they are insane murderers)
Thank you to hell bound books for sending me this book and the follow up -which is next on my list!!
Thank you to hell bound books for sending me this book and the follow up -which is next on my list!!
December 30, 2023
Vivid, strange, truly scary tale of witchcraft & Hellish creatures inhabiting a community of families in hiding. Young Anna, who may or may not be a witch, is an engaging protagonist finding herself & her power, with the aid of 2 unlikely ghost pals & a squirrel familiar. Not for the faint of heart, but very well-crafted!
October 29, 2024
Disturbing as all hell. I loved it
Read
December 16, 2024After some cozier reads last month, I’ve been in the mood for some horror fiction. The First Time I Saw Her by Jae Mazer was a great and disturbing return to the genre.
This coming-of-age horror story reminded me of Angela Carter’s The Bloody Chamber if you turn up the horror and dark fantasy elements to an eleven. I was immediately drawn into the story, and as the mysteries unfolded, I was impressed by the mounting unease and Mazer’s descriptive writing.
While it’s difficult to discuss the story in too much detail without spoiling plot points, I will say that I found the ghosts and the ghouls very striking, and I loved how these elements were woven into the story. I mean, who doesn’t want a bloody headless ghost as a childhood best friend?
As far as the blood and gore are concerned, I thought there was a nice and disturbing escalation from start to finish. I’ll never look at squirrels the same way again. 😂 That being said, there were a few scenes toward the end of the book involving children and sexual violence that were too much for me. It’s a topic I avoid in my horror reading and writing, but it is something that unfortunately happens every day in the real world, this is a horror story, and I never felt the story fell into disrespectful or sensational territory. It was just higher than my personal tolerance.
Overall, I loved the world Mazer created, and I’m excited to see how the characters and story develop in the next two books.
Thank you HellBound Books for giving me the chance to read this one.
This coming-of-age horror story reminded me of Angela Carter’s The Bloody Chamber if you turn up the horror and dark fantasy elements to an eleven. I was immediately drawn into the story, and as the mysteries unfolded, I was impressed by the mounting unease and Mazer’s descriptive writing.
While it’s difficult to discuss the story in too much detail without spoiling plot points, I will say that I found the ghosts and the ghouls very striking, and I loved how these elements were woven into the story. I mean, who doesn’t want a bloody headless ghost as a childhood best friend?
As far as the blood and gore are concerned, I thought there was a nice and disturbing escalation from start to finish. I’ll never look at squirrels the same way again. 😂 That being said, there were a few scenes toward the end of the book involving children and sexual violence that were too much for me. It’s a topic I avoid in my horror reading and writing, but it is something that unfortunately happens every day in the real world, this is a horror story, and I never felt the story fell into disrespectful or sensational territory. It was just higher than my personal tolerance.
Overall, I loved the world Mazer created, and I’m excited to see how the characters and story develop in the next two books.
Thank you HellBound Books for giving me the chance to read this one.
September 30, 2025
The First Time I Saw Her was… an experience.
Anna and her mum escape their hometown, running from a terrible tragedy that haunts them. But the new town they settle in isn’t quite what it seems.
I can’t say TOO much without giving spoilers, but let me just start with this: Jae Mazer, do you need help? Blink once, twice, or just don’t say anything at all. To live inside your head for a single day would be a TRIP, I’m sure.
I ate this book up (no pun intended 👀). It’s dark, twisted, and I couldn’t put it down. The only reason I landed at 3.5 stars instead of higher is because I went in blind—no trigger warnings, nothing. There are a few things that really threw me: slight mentions of animals being hurt (not abused, but still unsettling), and toward the end, there’s a heavier focus on children in ways I personally found tough to read.
That said, this book has everything, demons, witches, ghosts, and a mix of supernatural madness in between. It’s disgusting, grim, completely unhinged… and yet the story is genuinely good. Also, can we talk about Old Man Merle? Why did I think he was the cutest thing ever? Even with “mini Merle” constantly on display (if you know, you know), I weirdly adored him.
If you like your reads dark, sinister, confusing in the best way, and just a little terrifying, this one’s for you. Jae Mazer is a fantastic storyteller-messed up? Absolutely. But compelling? 100%. Will I ever look at a squirrel the same way again? No. Am I excited to see where this series goes next? Definitely.
Bravo, Jae. You grossed me out, and I loved it.
Anna and her mum escape their hometown, running from a terrible tragedy that haunts them. But the new town they settle in isn’t quite what it seems.
I can’t say TOO much without giving spoilers, but let me just start with this: Jae Mazer, do you need help? Blink once, twice, or just don’t say anything at all. To live inside your head for a single day would be a TRIP, I’m sure.
I ate this book up (no pun intended 👀). It’s dark, twisted, and I couldn’t put it down. The only reason I landed at 3.5 stars instead of higher is because I went in blind—no trigger warnings, nothing. There are a few things that really threw me: slight mentions of animals being hurt (not abused, but still unsettling), and toward the end, there’s a heavier focus on children in ways I personally found tough to read.
That said, this book has everything, demons, witches, ghosts, and a mix of supernatural madness in between. It’s disgusting, grim, completely unhinged… and yet the story is genuinely good. Also, can we talk about Old Man Merle? Why did I think he was the cutest thing ever? Even with “mini Merle” constantly on display (if you know, you know), I weirdly adored him.
If you like your reads dark, sinister, confusing in the best way, and just a little terrifying, this one’s for you. Jae Mazer is a fantastic storyteller-messed up? Absolutely. But compelling? 100%. Will I ever look at a squirrel the same way again? No. Am I excited to see where this series goes next? Definitely.
Bravo, Jae. You grossed me out, and I loved it.
December 2, 2024
The First Time I Saw Her was a deeply dark and twisted story that still managed to be surprisingly tender. I was pulled in right from the first page, and remained invested until the very end.
The ghosts sounded absolutely terrifying. However, they became sources of comfort and safety for the main character, Anna, which was really sweet. This element of the story reminded me a bit of My Darling Dreadful Thing, which I loved.
I also really enjoyed Eden’s Edge as the setting for the story. It was a secluded, off-the-map community that was deeply unsettling right from the start. That feeling only intensified as I learned more about it, which added another level of suspense to the book.
What prevented it from being a five-star read was that some of the horror elements felt too weird or off-the-wall for me. I also wasn’t a fan of all the mentions about people’s nether regions 😅🫣😫.
Thank you so much to Hellbound Books for the opportunity to read a complimentary copy of this book!
Read if you like:
✨Graphic horror
✨Witchy reads
✨Secluded settings
✨Single POV storylines
✨My Darling Dreadful Thing
The ghosts sounded absolutely terrifying. However, they became sources of comfort and safety for the main character, Anna, which was really sweet. This element of the story reminded me a bit of My Darling Dreadful Thing, which I loved.
I also really enjoyed Eden’s Edge as the setting for the story. It was a secluded, off-the-map community that was deeply unsettling right from the start. That feeling only intensified as I learned more about it, which added another level of suspense to the book.
What prevented it from being a five-star read was that some of the horror elements felt too weird or off-the-wall for me. I also wasn’t a fan of all the mentions about people’s nether regions 😅🫣😫.
Thank you so much to Hellbound Books for the opportunity to read a complimentary copy of this book!
Read if you like:
✨Graphic horror
✨Witchy reads
✨Secluded settings
✨Single POV storylines
✨My Darling Dreadful Thing
January 10, 2025
🥀Zirdo ol. Zirdo ge. Ol Trian🥀
Have you ever read something that takes you aback that you have to reread to make sure that was what you thought you read? Yeah, this book made me do it several times.
I went in semi blind, only knowing whatever the first few lines of the synopsis show, that way, I'm not influenced by others' opinions and reviews, its usually how I like to read books. And when I tell you when I thought I was reading a domestic mystery/thriller with a hint of supernatural and then just like that, the rug was pulled under my feet, and I didn't know what the hell I was reading, in the most exciting way!
It's got magic, witches, demons, domestic drama, friendship, thrilling mystery, coming of age, and a new friend(s). As well as extreme horror/splatterpunk and lots of triggers. So please, if you intend to read this one, check those first.
It had everything I didn't know I needed.
I highly recommend this one if you enjoy a good coming of age with a lot of horror and gore!
Can't wait to see where the next two books take me!
I want to thank Hellbound Books for sending me this e-book to read and give my honest review. It was a hell of a ride!
Have you ever read something that takes you aback that you have to reread to make sure that was what you thought you read? Yeah, this book made me do it several times.
I went in semi blind, only knowing whatever the first few lines of the synopsis show, that way, I'm not influenced by others' opinions and reviews, its usually how I like to read books. And when I tell you when I thought I was reading a domestic mystery/thriller with a hint of supernatural and then just like that, the rug was pulled under my feet, and I didn't know what the hell I was reading, in the most exciting way!
It's got magic, witches, demons, domestic drama, friendship, thrilling mystery, coming of age, and a new friend(s). As well as extreme horror/splatterpunk and lots of triggers. So please, if you intend to read this one, check those first.
It had everything I didn't know I needed.
I highly recommend this one if you enjoy a good coming of age with a lot of horror and gore!
Can't wait to see where the next two books take me!
I want to thank Hellbound Books for sending me this e-book to read and give my honest review. It was a hell of a ride!
June 30, 2025
Jae Mazer's "The First Time I saw her" Review ⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️ Horrific and Beautiful! A splatter horror that mets with a coming of age story of Anna, a creepy kid who's companions are 'New friend' a headless girl and Old Man Merle a tall decomposed goul who company her in finding out who or rather what she is.
I loved that the story didn't over fixate on gore to a ridiculous level. There certainly are some extremely bloody and gory moments, but they are relevant, and while horrific, they aren't unnecessary.
The characters are deep, warm and raw, while others are vile, disgusting excuses of oxygen meat sacks. Jae currently does know how to build a strong protagonist and an awful antagonist.
There was the most beautiful witch lore moment at the end of the story that, while sad, it just filled my heart with love and really did bring one of the deeper meanings of the story to a whole.
And Miss Mojo...what a legand! I adored her!
I do recommend you check out possible triggers if you are feeling particularly sensitive ✨️
I loved that the story didn't over fixate on gore to a ridiculous level. There certainly are some extremely bloody and gory moments, but they are relevant, and while horrific, they aren't unnecessary.
The characters are deep, warm and raw, while others are vile, disgusting excuses of oxygen meat sacks. Jae currently does know how to build a strong protagonist and an awful antagonist.
There was the most beautiful witch lore moment at the end of the story that, while sad, it just filled my heart with love and really did bring one of the deeper meanings of the story to a whole.
And Miss Mojo...what a legand! I adored her!
I do recommend you check out possible triggers if you are feeling particularly sensitive ✨️
July 8, 2025
I will preface this by saying it’s the darkest, most brutal, gory descriptive horrible book I’ve ever read. And I couldn’t stop. I loved Anna. Such youthful naïveté combined with such horror. There are dead people, demons, witches, abominations. There are tearing galore - child death, child rape (not described in detail but not hinted at either). This was a real what the fuck book for me - but it was really well written and drew me in, making me care about the characters (even though they are insane murderers)
Thank you to hell bound books for sending me this book and the follow up -which is next on my list!!
Thank you to hell bound books for sending me this book and the follow up -which is next on my list!!
July 24, 2023
Vivid, terrifying tale of a young girl finding her power in a mysterious community peppered with witches, ghosts, demons, & true human evil. Well-crafted horror featuring strong female characters. Not for the faint of heart, but a compelling read for the loyal horror fan. Looking forward to the next book in the series.
December 21, 2024
If you're a fan of dark, atmospheric horror, fear, gore, and the unknown, then this book is an absolute must read! It's perfect for those who crave a good scare, with a side of psychological torment. I give this book a 5/5 and can't wait to read the next book in the series. Just be adviced: make sure you read the trigger warnings.
December 7, 2024
Gory, gruesome, and a splash of paranormal creates this book. Anna’s ‘new friend’ helps her guide through her new life and her and her mom move to a secluded cult-like community. As the days pass and more horrors are being made known, Anna tries to find out who she is.
January 7, 2025
If you only read one book this year, make it this one! Just finished The First Time I Saw Her by Jae Mazer. Whoa, this is one hellava read!! She knows how to write! It's one of the best 1st person pov scary, crazy stories I've ever read! Highly recommend, you will not be disappointed!
July 1, 2025
I really enjoyed this! The story line was so unique. it was definitely hard to put this down but you know, sleep and work. I read in 3 days. If you like paranormal, spooky stuff, gore, and a good mystery, pick this up!!! review coming on Instagram very soon!
December 4, 2024
This book had me hooked from the beginning! I still can’t believe Anna is only 12 and is still a sweet young girl after everything she goes through in this book, she is definitely a strong FMC! Anna knows there is something different about her because she can see things and her mom is a witch. They are forced to move to Allison’s community where they start to realize something strange is going on and Allison is not who she says she is. This book is chilling, filled with blood, witches, demons, creatures, etc. I loved how all of these aspects came to life and really worked together.
Thank you Hellbound Books for sending me a copy of this book! I am leaving this review voluntarily
Thank you Hellbound Books for sending me a copy of this book! I am leaving this review voluntarily
February 15, 2025
Loved it,such an unusual story and also a great twist at the end ,I flew through the book
May 24, 2024
OK. Wait…just give me a minute.
*sits down*
Let me process this a wee bit.
*takes a deep, shaky breath*
I’ve just said goodbye to our little protagonist, Anna. I’m going to really miss her and the completely unique bookscape within which she resides. I’ve met witches and demons and ghosts and murderers over the last few hundred pages and I’m reeling as if I’ve been sucked up by a tornado of creativity and dumped down, bereft, in a much less interesting place.
We meet Anna and her Mum on the run, after something terrible has happened. Anna makes a new friend, a headless girl that carries a bowl of blood and/or tears wherever she goes; and is accompanied to strange little religious village in the country where many others seem also to be hiding. Where she also makes a few more friends and enemies, living and otherwise.
As dark things are afoot. Scape the shiny surface of the smiling aid given to them under the guise of the church and evil lurks within. To explain any more would be to suck the air out of such an exquisitely rendered tale full of wonder and grief, heartache and discovery.
Oftentimes, the writing is so beautiful, it reads like poetry. It unapologetically takes glee in describing things in ways that children might with the finesse of an adult vocabulary.
I genuinely chose this ARC copy as a ‘filler’ as I thought it was a short story.
It was neither short and it was certainly all killer, no filler.
Lovers of the strange, the supernatural, the mysterious and esoteric; of blood and spells, fire and brimstone: get this book in your brain and let it live there; as I know it will indefinitely with me from now on.
All the stars. All the kudos. All the wow.
Jae Mazer, I'll be looking for your words everywhere.
*sits down*
Let me process this a wee bit.
*takes a deep, shaky breath*
I’ve just said goodbye to our little protagonist, Anna. I’m going to really miss her and the completely unique bookscape within which she resides. I’ve met witches and demons and ghosts and murderers over the last few hundred pages and I’m reeling as if I’ve been sucked up by a tornado of creativity and dumped down, bereft, in a much less interesting place.
We meet Anna and her Mum on the run, after something terrible has happened. Anna makes a new friend, a headless girl that carries a bowl of blood and/or tears wherever she goes; and is accompanied to strange little religious village in the country where many others seem also to be hiding. Where she also makes a few more friends and enemies, living and otherwise.
As dark things are afoot. Scape the shiny surface of the smiling aid given to them under the guise of the church and evil lurks within. To explain any more would be to suck the air out of such an exquisitely rendered tale full of wonder and grief, heartache and discovery.
Oftentimes, the writing is so beautiful, it reads like poetry. It unapologetically takes glee in describing things in ways that children might with the finesse of an adult vocabulary.
I genuinely chose this ARC copy as a ‘filler’ as I thought it was a short story.
It was neither short and it was certainly all killer, no filler.
Lovers of the strange, the supernatural, the mysterious and esoteric; of blood and spells, fire and brimstone: get this book in your brain and let it live there; as I know it will indefinitely with me from now on.
All the stars. All the kudos. All the wow.
Jae Mazer, I'll be looking for your words everywhere.
June 28, 2025
The First Time I Saw Her
By Ms. Jae Mazer
Publisher: HellBound Books Publishing LLC
Publication Date: October 2, 2024
Length: 261 Pages
Triggers: Gore, child trauma, cult vibes, headless girls, body horror, grief
Star Rating: ⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐
Dread Factor: 💀💀
What Did I Just Walk Into?
Anna’s life is already a dumpster fire when she and her mom flee into the woods and end up at a “community” called Eden’s Edge—which should’ve been the first red flag. But instead of peace and healing, Anna gets creepy cult leaders, demonic nightmares, and a new BFF who happens to be very dead and very headless. What follows is a gory, ghostly, witch-drenched fever dream with the emotional weight of a coming-of-age story… if your age came with bonus blood rituals and family secrets that could choke a banshee.
Here’s What Slapped:
Ms. Jae Mazer doesn’t hold back. She rips the veil between creepy and gut-wrenching, and then dances barefoot across it with poetic prose and unapologetic gore. Anna is a narrator you want to follow—even when she’s clearly losing it. The atmosphere is claustrophobic, the pacing relentless, and the horror? Equal parts folklore, grief, and “please no, not again.” That headless girl? Iconic. That twist? Ruined me (in a good way).
Here’s What Could’ve Stayed in the Woods:
There’s a menstrual metaphor that had me squinting and muttering “Ma’am…” But honestly? It’s a blip in an otherwise bloody masterpiece. You’re either in for the ride, or you’re curled up under your bed avoiding it.
Perfect for Readers Who Love:
📖 Witchy, haunted coming-of-age horror
📖 Folklore-drenched dread
📖 Cults with secrets and spooky atmospheres
📖 Headless ghost girls with main character energy
📖 Emotional horror with bite
Reviewed by Robin for Robin’s Review
By Ms. Jae Mazer
Publisher: HellBound Books Publishing LLC
Publication Date: October 2, 2024
Length: 261 Pages
Triggers: Gore, child trauma, cult vibes, headless girls, body horror, grief
Star Rating: ⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐
Dread Factor: 💀💀
What Did I Just Walk Into?
Anna’s life is already a dumpster fire when she and her mom flee into the woods and end up at a “community” called Eden’s Edge—which should’ve been the first red flag. But instead of peace and healing, Anna gets creepy cult leaders, demonic nightmares, and a new BFF who happens to be very dead and very headless. What follows is a gory, ghostly, witch-drenched fever dream with the emotional weight of a coming-of-age story… if your age came with bonus blood rituals and family secrets that could choke a banshee.
Here’s What Slapped:
Ms. Jae Mazer doesn’t hold back. She rips the veil between creepy and gut-wrenching, and then dances barefoot across it with poetic prose and unapologetic gore. Anna is a narrator you want to follow—even when she’s clearly losing it. The atmosphere is claustrophobic, the pacing relentless, and the horror? Equal parts folklore, grief, and “please no, not again.” That headless girl? Iconic. That twist? Ruined me (in a good way).
Here’s What Could’ve Stayed in the Woods:
There’s a menstrual metaphor that had me squinting and muttering “Ma’am…” But honestly? It’s a blip in an otherwise bloody masterpiece. You’re either in for the ride, or you’re curled up under your bed avoiding it.
Perfect for Readers Who Love:
📖 Witchy, haunted coming-of-age horror
📖 Folklore-drenched dread
📖 Cults with secrets and spooky atmospheres
📖 Headless ghost girls with main character energy
📖 Emotional horror with bite
Reviewed by Robin for Robin’s Review
December 28, 2024
⭐️⭐️⭐️
This was definitely outside of my comfort zone, but I’m glad I gave it a shot. Anna and her mother are on the run after a tragedy shatters their world. A stranger helps them find refuge in a secluded community hidden deep in the woods, forcing them to abandon their old life until they can figure out their next move. But the woman who offers help may not be who she seems, and the so-called safe haven hides its own secrets and dangers.
From the very beginning, this book pulls you in with haunting imagery and a deeply intimate narrative. You’re immediately placed in Anna’s shoes, experiencing her fears and struggles firsthand.
The new friend Anna encounters keeps you guessing about what’s real and what’s not. There are moments where the creep factor is cranked up to an unsettling level, but it’s also incredibly compelling.
The author doesn’t shy away from making you squirm. The writing is beautifully atmospheric, painting a world rich in details. Themes of survival and family add depth and complexity to the story.
That said, the pacing threw me off a bit. Some parts were utterly gripping, but there were moments where descriptions lingered a little too long. If you enjoy character-driven narratives, you might appreciate the slower pacing in those moments.
If you’re a fan of dark, atmospheric tales with psychological twists and don’t mind getting a little creeped out, this book is a must-read. It’s unlike anything I’ve come across before.
I received an ARC of this book, but all opinions expressed are my own and shared voluntarily.
TW: Death, grief, psychological horror, blood
This was definitely outside of my comfort zone, but I’m glad I gave it a shot. Anna and her mother are on the run after a tragedy shatters their world. A stranger helps them find refuge in a secluded community hidden deep in the woods, forcing them to abandon their old life until they can figure out their next move. But the woman who offers help may not be who she seems, and the so-called safe haven hides its own secrets and dangers.
From the very beginning, this book pulls you in with haunting imagery and a deeply intimate narrative. You’re immediately placed in Anna’s shoes, experiencing her fears and struggles firsthand.
The new friend Anna encounters keeps you guessing about what’s real and what’s not. There are moments where the creep factor is cranked up to an unsettling level, but it’s also incredibly compelling.
The author doesn’t shy away from making you squirm. The writing is beautifully atmospheric, painting a world rich in details. Themes of survival and family add depth and complexity to the story.
That said, the pacing threw me off a bit. Some parts were utterly gripping, but there were moments where descriptions lingered a little too long. If you enjoy character-driven narratives, you might appreciate the slower pacing in those moments.
If you’re a fan of dark, atmospheric tales with psychological twists and don’t mind getting a little creeped out, this book is a must-read. It’s unlike anything I’ve come across before.
I received an ARC of this book, but all opinions expressed are my own and shared voluntarily.
TW: Death, grief, psychological horror, blood
May 25, 2024
This is one of those books that made me question whether my level of being able to handle the darker things like gore is healthy because of my lack of shock to what I'm reading. I would use the term casual gore to describe the graphic scenes, in the sense that they weren’t written to shock but provide an insight to a mind very different to what we deem normal. The things that Anna sees in her mind are shown to us with a sense of calm, she still feels fear and lacks understanding of them, but they are not unnatural to her nature to see.
Once I'd finished reading and i read the about the author page the themes and thoughts i had throughout reading made perfect sense, you can very much see how the authors background of working with mental health has influenced her writing. The plot was not that unpredictable, but I spent enough time looking for the hidden or double meaning to be bothered by it, there was a consistently interesting, reflective thread of thought and questioning throughout.
Only thing that bothered me was no mention of what happened to Liza, what became of her?
Once I'd finished reading and i read the about the author page the themes and thoughts i had throughout reading made perfect sense, you can very much see how the authors background of working with mental health has influenced her writing. The plot was not that unpredictable, but I spent enough time looking for the hidden or double meaning to be bothered by it, there was a consistently interesting, reflective thread of thought and questioning throughout.
Only thing that bothered me was no mention of what happened to Liza, what became of her?
December 18, 2024
“The first time I saw her, she had no head. Blood oozed from her neck and dribbled down her pinafore, soaking in and spreading like rot.”
Our MC Anna is an intelligent, practical, and strange 12 year old, running from an “incident” with her mother. They’re both taken in by a woman who runs Eden’s Edge, a safe-haven for the lost and troubled.
Or is it?
Slow at times but never boring, I was intrigued by the premise and, though it took longer for me to finish than it should’ve because I was sick, I was equally engrossed and grossed out.
This book has a whole lotta ick factor regarding harm and disturbing scenarios with children. I do not recommend this story to those who are sensitive to such scenarios.
There are some lingering questions but for a first book in a trilogy it has a satisfactory ending while leaving bread crumbs for the bigger story to unfold.
The author’s writing style is especially imaginative and descriptive, perfect for this gorey, horrific tale.
I look forward to following Anna on her journey.
Thank you to Hellboundbooks for the gifted copy.
Our MC Anna is an intelligent, practical, and strange 12 year old, running from an “incident” with her mother. They’re both taken in by a woman who runs Eden’s Edge, a safe-haven for the lost and troubled.
Or is it?
Slow at times but never boring, I was intrigued by the premise and, though it took longer for me to finish than it should’ve because I was sick, I was equally engrossed and grossed out.
This book has a whole lotta ick factor regarding harm and disturbing scenarios with children. I do not recommend this story to those who are sensitive to such scenarios.
There are some lingering questions but for a first book in a trilogy it has a satisfactory ending while leaving bread crumbs for the bigger story to unfold.
The author’s writing style is especially imaginative and descriptive, perfect for this gorey, horrific tale.
I look forward to following Anna on her journey.
Thank you to Hellboundbooks for the gifted copy.
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